


It's Not Me

by scottxlogan



Series: Starting Over [3]
Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Explicit Language, F/M, M/M, Male Slash, Mind Control, Mind Games, Mindwiping, Past Relationship(s), Past Torture, Past mentions of a relationship with Erik and Charles within the context of the story, Past references to Scott/Jean, Potential Triggers, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2017-11-11 02:44:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 44
Words: 302,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scottxlogan/pseuds/scottxlogan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Starting Over. Coming home again is never easy especially when changes and secrets are all around you. Scott and Logan deal with their beginnings and an uncertain future when an old threat emerges to challenge their future together. *Slash*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Starting Over](https://archiveofourown.org/works/457523) by [scottxlogan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scottxlogan/pseuds/scottxlogan). 



> Author's Note: Thank you everyone who read the first story. After a few requests I decided to go forward with a sequel. As always I appreciate everyone's input and hope you enjoy this one as well. Thanks again! This story deals with the aftermath of Scott's new 'powers' at the end of Starting Over and delves into the beginnings of Scott and Logan's relationship as well. Flashbacks of Scott/Jean's relationship also come into play, but this story is in fact a Scott/Logan story.

Fury radiated through the moment claiming the night and slicing through the sky with the violent, crimson colored blast into the clouds. Shivers reverberated through Logan when the sky exploded cutting through the winds and the rains. The end was coming, a voice inside his head taunted, warning him of what he would have to do. It was the one time in his life he would've given anything to be anywhere else, but he'd chosen his path. Everything had lead up to this moment, to this time when he'd gone past the point of no return. He'd ignored the warnings and now destiny was forcing him to make a decision-one he knew he wouldn't be able to live with regardless of the outcome.

_"He'll evolve into something more and when he does they're going to use him to destroy all of us…"_

Mystique's warning rang through Logan's head again, taking him back to a time and place when he wouldn't believe in such words. He couldn't anticipate things spinning as out of control as they'd become, yet with the reality of their madness stealing away the one thing that mattered most, Logan feared for the outcome. He no longer had a choice, could no longer sit idle and pretend this would solve itself. Madness had engulfed them all taking his happiness and twisting it into a perverse, warped reality where only pain and suffering would follow. Feeling the clouds overhead opening up, Logan could no longer ignore the rain beating down on his skin like tiny razor blades, expanding the dark moment into something beyond his wildest nightmare. The brutal storm was in full effect, explosions and violence surrounding him, but even in all his training he hadn't been prepared for this. With everything inside of him he knew that this was the last thing he wanted, the last place where he wanted to be now that he stood firm between Scott and the darkness that threatened to consume him forever.

"Get out of my way you son of a bitch!" Scott's rough voice snarled in warning, his face twisted with uncharacteristic rage. The lightening overhead stole the softness from Scott's features, replacing it with a harsh, aggressive warp into madness. Scott approached Logan, his lips curving in a downward scowl, his voice cracked with anger, "Move!"

"No," Logan refused to budge, knowing in his heart that what was expected of him was the one thing he feared he wouldn't be able to do. Logan had never been uncertain, never questioning action, but with the love of his life standing before him lost inside of himself, Logan knew there would be no other way to change things. He couldn't walk away, yet he wasn't sure he could follow through on his promise to do right by the world around him. Selfishly he wished for a miracle, for something that would take him back to where they'd began with one another-to those few precious moments when Logan's responses would decide everything. If he could only return to that place when they'd both been less bitter, less jaded by the world around them, then perhaps things would change. However, wishing and hoping were no longer an option leading to resolution. Standing up taller, Logan stretched his arms out, allowing his adamantium claws to slide out of his hands in a defensive stance not backing down in the moment when everything inside of him bristled with awareness. Things had been pushed past the limit, gone too far well beyond the point of no return.

"You don't have a choice!" Scott's voice cracked with the overhead lightening. The shadows of the night were surrounding his face, cloaking it in madness when Scott lunged forward seizing Logan roughly by his collar of his shirt. "You can stop me from getting to him! Get out of my way!"

"No!" Logan snapped again, doing his best to stay in control of his instincts, but with Scott's hands squeezing at his neck, the animal revealed itself, pushing Scott back across the wet pavement in a futile attempt to end things without blood and destruction. Scott skidded across the ground, his hands scraping along the grooves beneath him, but almost as soon as the cuts revealed themselves, they disappeared returning to the smooth skin Logan had found himself appreciating more often than not. A heavy gasp fell from Scott's parted lips, surprise registering through his body, but soon it was replaced with a venomous rage, his face twisting with anger behind the visor he wore. Logan could see the beginnings of the red glow behind the visor, radiating from the edges when Scott let out a loud wail of anger.

Rising up off the ground, Scott waved his hand in the air wildly, causing Logan's body to fly across the pavement, slamming into the door that Logan had been standing in front of. The rain continued to pour down upon them, severing any sign of life beyond the both of them, the dark cloud of madness keeping them from where they once were with one another. Behind the visor Scott's eyes were darkening, the red burning brighter, deeper then Logan had imagined. His skin began to bubble with rage darkening with madness when he took a thunderous step forward.

"The only way you're going to stop me is to kill me. You can't keep me away from him," Scott screeched, his voice foreign and devoid of any of the human emotion that had previously guided his conscience. Now standing before Scott, seeing him wild with animosity, Logan found himself surrounded by the beast, by the monster himself and it was only a matter of time before Scott's madness brought about their destruction. The prophesy was about to be fulfilled unless…

"Not going to happen. You have to fight this Scott. There has to be another way," Logan insisted plainly, his fears mounting with each passing second. He felt his claws still out beyond his flesh threatening to end things with the same brute force he'd been used to dealing with danger in the past. Only unlike before the threat began with Scott, with the man Logan would risk anything and everything to protect. His loyalty had him divided, his heart begging for something more, for another way to stop this. Killing Scott would undoubtedly be the end of him, yet with the future on the line, Scott was leaving him out of options. Now keeping his eyes focused on Scott through the bitter winds that surrounded them, Logan realized Scott wasn't about to give Logan the luxury of letting go without a fight.

"This will only end in death," Scott mouthed sharply, his hand rising up to touch the side of his visor in warning when Logan raised his claws in the air ready for battle, "mine or yours. There's no turning back. There isn't any other way."

XXXXX

**A Few Weeks Earlier**

Logan entered the garage doing his best to keep the noise level down to a minimum. While he'd intended on making his way down here earlier, to simply blow off some steam, Logan couldn't help, but find himself distracted by obligation. In between catching up with the students and working through some of the Danger Room programs Logan had found himself far more distracted then he'd intended for the day. Scott had been tied up late with staff meetings, outlining his courses for the new semester. That in itself had only given Logan more time to be immersed in his thoughts, in his rage now that he was surrounded by thoughts of Victor. Unable to shake the memory that still played out in his mind time and time again in watching Victor try to destroy Scott back at the nuclear plant, Logan couldn't help, but tense up knowing that things were far from over. Victor had escaped, had been able to take advantage of the moment in walking away when Scott had been buried under the rubble. He'd known only too well that Logan wouldn't walk away from Scott, wouldn't turn his back on the man he loved in his time of need. It had been a vulnerability for Logan, rendering him unable to continue to battle the brother who had tormented him through the years before his memories were taken. Still in thinking about Scott's recovery, Logan had known he'd made the right decision. Saving Scott was everything to him and he wouldn't have changed it for the world.

"He wouldn't have been here without you," Logan could hear Hank's words of encouragement shortly after Scott's miraculous recovery. While everything still was up in the air, the twist surrounding Scott's return to life still very much a mystery for them, Logan couldn't help, but want to focus on the relief that carried over him in knowing Scott was still alive. That was what was important regardless of the questions that had arisen after the fact.

"He's fine," Logan had confided in Hank, "and that's all that matters to me. Knowing that he's going to be alright…"

"It appears he's beyond alright," Hank noted in reference to Scott's medical charts, "Stronger then ever, yet…"

"What?" Logan had questioned sensing the hesitation in his friend's tone.

"Something about this feels off Logan," Hank divulged quietly, "You and I both know that things like this very seldom happen without any kind of outside interference."

"Interference," Logan had repeated wearily, "Such as?"

"What exactly was going down on that island Logan?" Hank couldn't help, but ask worriedly. "I know that when Scott and Charles returned, they'd both been subjected to experiments."

"Scott couldn't have been there long enough for them to have been able to…," Logan paused thinking about the brief window of time he and Scott had been separated from one another. "Victor wouldn't have…"

"Victor?" Hank repeated giving him another look.

"It's a long story," Logan had simply stated, returning to the same abrasiveness that he'd carried with him on most occasions instead of submitting to the simple pleasantries that most around him would engage in. Conversation wouldn't make what happened any clearer for any of them. Scott was fine. That was all that mattered.

"But how long will he continue to be alright Logan?" he could hear an inner voice gnaw at him drawing him from the moment of content, taking his thoughts to a darker place, back to the fear he'd felt in having Victor try to rip Scott out of his life all over again.

"To hell with it," Logan decided marching into the garage determined to get some air and clear his head. Heading over to Scott's motorcycle, he hopped onto it, knowing only too well Scott wouldn't be happy with his evening retreat, but it didn't matter. Scott could deal with his staff meeting while Logan worked through some of his torment, some of his fears in hoping to banish the concern for what Victor's lingering presence would mean for his life and future.

Immersed in his thoughts, Logan left the school, driving until the sun went down completely. He wasn't sure where he was headed or what he wanted to do, but when he found himself at an old, familiar haunt, hearing the sounds of loud music booming through the night, he'd decided this was the place. The other motorcycles around the bar rivaled the one that Scott had, each indicating a far different type of rider when the clashing of heavy metal and smoke boomed from the bar. Yes, it was certainly a place where Scott wouldn't blend, but Logan on the other hand, well he was certain that he'd be able to move in without question, without the same curiosities that had surrounded him in other such places.

Upon entering the bar Logan's suspicions had been proven accurate when he moved through the crowd, taking in the laughter and drunken catcalls to the women who were dancing up on stage, flaunting themselves off with next to nothing on. Yes, this place would certainly be a hideaway indeed, Logan decided moving over to the bar to signal the bartender. The man met him with a neutral expression, simply nodded when Logan ordered his beer, prepared to lose himself to a night of mindless drinking. Yes, the atmosphere was one that everyone back at the school would've frowned upon, but he didn't care. Tonight he needed a breather away from the children, away from their curriculum and from the school that he'd been so devoted to. Even Scott had been overwhelmed by the stress of the upcoming semester as of late, so much so that everything else seemed to be sidelined in the process including their quest to seek out the truth in Scott's condition. Yes, it had been a priority, but Scott was also working to fit in, doing double duty to hide his new powers from everyone around him.

"Same old story, different scenario," Logan had thought to himself remembering the many times he'd attempted to coax Scott into telling the truth. Scott was hesitant, still fearful of what his new powers could mean, but being at the school meant putting up a false front, putting others above the search for the truth and in doing so Scott was assimilating to what they'd expected. It was enough to drive Logan crazy as he took the first taste of his beer. Things were progressing as they always had…well, with a few minor changes.

Looking down to the ring on his finger, Logan couldn't help, but smile. That was the one thing that Scott had insisted upon not changing when they'd decided to stay at the school. It was in their return that Scott had grown more secure in their relationship, sharing it with those around them in a rather uncharacteristic move of the man Logan had once deemed unable to be honest with his true feelings. Now, however, Scott had no problem letting the world know he and Logan were together. He didn't have issue with the small public displays of affection between them and for the first time Logan finally felt as if he'd found something worth holding onto. Tracing the ring on his finger, Logan's grin expanded, undoubtedly making him look like a blubbering fool, but he didn't care. Having Scott in his life was worth all the silly things someone might say about his softer side. Yes, it was very unlike the Wolverine they'd grown to know, but it was the part of Logan that had given him the most joy and happiness.

"Hey sugar," a curvaceous blonde dipped down from on top of the bar, pulling him from his thoughts. He raised his head up to see her sashaying in front of him, grinding in his face in her sparkling, white lingerie. In an instant, she was on her knees, her long, blonde hair surrounding her smooth shoulders when her lips parted in a full silvery white colored smirk, "you looking for a date tonight?"

"No thanks," Logan shook his head, reaching for his drink again and taking a long sip.

"Now come on," she shifted on the countertop kicking her long legs over it in a smooth slide. The pointed tip of her white stiletto planted firmly over Logan's thigh, making no impact on him despite it's secure press into his skin through his jeans. She arched her head back, thrusting her chest forward in an attempt to capture his attention with her full cleavage, "you wouldn't have come all this way without purpose and reason. Surely, you're looking for a good time and I'm the one who could readily make that available to you."

"As tempting as I'm sure that offer is to most," Logan nodded to his hand surrounding the beer bottle. He raised it up into the glow of the multicolored lights, displaying his ring proudly, "I'm taken."

"Most men who come here are sugar," she slurred, her words cool and tempting when she reached out across the bar to touch the side of his face. The moment her white, gloved fingertips made contact with his skin, Logan felt an eerie moment of familiarity overtake him. Her eyes beckoned his, silently pleading for him to join her in one of the back rooms, but before she could verbalize the offer to him once again, he spotted a familiar face in the crowd.

"I have to go," Logan jerked back, breaking the connection between them. He staggered off of the stool, pushing past the bar where the other dancers were on stage collecting their tips from desperate patrons, all eager to capture their attention. Weaving through the crowd, Logan's eyes honed in on someone who was suddenly of great interest-to a small, mild mannered looking man who was about to give him the answers he'd been seeking out.

"I trust you've got my room ready," the man spoke up in a nasal tone. His dark glasses covered his beady eyes, a dark hat covering the top of his head as if to shield the others from recognizing him before he'd gotten settled in at the place, but Logan could recognize him anywhere. After their last encounter, Logan was now more eager than ever to say hello.

"Of course sir," one of the waitresses had flirted playfully, guiding him to the back of the bar, into one of the rooms beyond the curtain. Logan hesitated, looking around the bar and knowing that he wouldn't be able to get inside undetected unless he seemed interested in…

"Oh hell," Logan reached into his pocket, stepping forward when the waitress who had taken the new arrival in the back emerged. Approaching her with an overwhelmingly flirty smile, Logan flashed his money in the air, waving it at her suggestively, "Tell me something beautiful. Is there any way you can make room for me back there?"

"For someone like you," her brown eyes widened with eager approval. She reached out accept the bill from his hand. She swiped it from his fingers, sliding it into her cleavage before curling her finger for him to get in closer to her. He obliged leaning down to hear her whisper flirtingly, "I would've done it for free."

"In that case," Logan tipped his head to the side, sensing her arousal carrying over her in the moment. While he hadn't been in the least bit interested, she was, which would further serve to push his mission along further, "lead the way."

"Let me finish up with my table," she breathed heavily, her pupils dilating with want, "and then we can…"

"Where can I wait?" Logan questioned dropping his head down closer to her, his mouth hovering just above her skin, sensing her pulse pounding wildly beneath the surface.

"I'll take you there," she whispered in a throaty gasp, her lips parting, tongue wetting the bottom lip. She stood up straighter curling her finger at him and motioning for him to follow, "This way."

"Excellent," Logan smirked lecherously, doing his best to fit into the mold of what this kind of place could offer. Across the bar, he could see the blonde who had propositioned him earlier eyeing him with heavy disapproval, but right now neither she nor the waitress were of interest to him. Still with the weight of her eyes upon him, Logan blew her a kiss across the bar serving to further enrage her once she shoved another guy who'd approached her at the bar aside. Laughing to himself Logan followed the waitress into the room beyond the curtain knowing only too well that time was of the essence.

"If you step in over there and get yourself settled in the chair," the woman's hand lingered over the solid, steady press of Logan's shoulder, dropping down around his bicep, "I'll be in there shortly."

"I'll be waiting," Logan promised moving forward to enter the room before him. He tipped his head back over his shoulder, seeing the waitress rush off to finish with her table. Once the curtain closed behind her, Logan switched directions, using his sense of smell to locate his intended target. It didn't take long for him to discover the portly man in one of the rooms near the back of the hallway, closer to the rear exit. Knowing his arrival would undoubtedly surprise the man, Logan stood up taller in an attempt to come off as more intimidating.

"Here goes nothing," Logan mouthed to himself opening up the door and finding the shorter, chubby man before Logan with his back turned away from him clad only in a discolored beige towel. It was enough to make Logan cringe when he closed the door behind him, locking it without hesitation. Unable to hold back on the disgusted laughter that overtook him, Logan issued a scrutinizing brow at the man before him, "I see that working for the devil has paid you very well Bert."

The man tensed upon recognition of Logan's voice. He started to shake involuntarily, worry spiraling out from his body to invade Logan's senses when he stepped forward with a firm, intimidating movement, "I'm sure your employers would love to see how you're frivolously wasting their money."

"How…how did you find me?" the man gulped down fearfully. He backed up into the wall, eyes filled with terror behind his dark glasses.

"I told you I'd be back," Logan dropped his arms down to his sides, claws extending and causing Bert to whimper with fear.

"Look…I…I told you back at the plant…I…I had nothing to do with what happened to your friend. I wasn't the one that had taken him. I was just the janitor and…" Bert shook like a leaf before Logan.

"A reason in itself that you were spared that day," Logan approached him, claws out in front of Bert's face, "but you didn't really believe that I would simply leave it at that. I told you I'd be back for information."

"I can't give you anything more then I already have," Bert stammered worriedly, "Thanks to you and your friends the plant was taken down to the ground all over again. They're going to have to start up from the bottom if they even think they're going to be able to recover that place. It's in ruins and we're all out of a job…"

"Yet you're dropping a small fortune on a place like this?" Logan motioned to their surroundings.

"It's called severance pay," Burt spat out nervously, "it was all that I have left when…"

"I don't buy it," Logan's claws slid in closer to Bert, causing the balding man to press back against the wall, fearful for his fate.

"Look, I told you I had nothing to do with what was happening to your friend. I just swept the floors and turned the other cheek when I was told to do so. I wasn't part of their experiments and…." Bert pleaded desperately, "I didn't want to know about what they were doing or…"

"Who were they?" Logan questioned harshly, keeping his claws millimeters away from Bert's throat.

"I don't know," Bert replied shakily.

"Like hell," Logan lunged forward bringing his claws of his other hand dangerously close to Bert's throat.

"I don't know," Bert squealed with fear, "I just was there long enough to do my job and move on. All I knew was that someone named Stryker was running the show."

"Stryker's dead. Try again," Logan warned with a snarl, his impatience growing in the moment.

"He might be dead, but the people who followed him and believed in his work still carry on with it. That's what they were doing when you arrived. It's what they've been working with for a while now. They've been experimenting and…"

"What about Victor? Where is he?" Logan demanded an answer from the smaller man.

"I haven't seen him since that night you arrived," Bert bit back on the tears that were forming in his eyes. "He and I weren't really close, so…"

"You knew where to find him that night," Logan noted thinking back to when he and Mystique had raided the compound in search of Scott and Magneto.

"That's because he threatened to rip my head off. I tried to avoid him at all cost," Bert explained desperately, "Although…"

"Yes?" Logan raised a curious brow.

"Last I'd heard he went underground. He set off for Canada," Bert rambled on nervously, "He wasn't exactly the kind to make friends, but rumor had it he went up north to regroup, to get prepared for…"

"For what?" Logan questioned sensing the man's hesitation beneath him.

"For war," Bert blurted out worriedly, "What else would a monster like him have in mind?"

Logan paused thinking about how many times in the past people would've said the same thing about him, would've called him a monster for his crimes, yet in standing before Bert with claws extended, threatening the burly man without hesitation, Logan could feel the same primitive force guiding him on. It was part of the beast he fought to suppress, but with the threat of Victor in the air, still keeping Logan fearing what might be lurking in the shadows, Logan knew he had no choice, but to push the envelope.

"You'd better not be lying to me," Logan finally released the smaller man, watching him shuffle across the floor nervously. Once Bert was across the room, he brought a hand up over his neck, gulping down hard at the thought of what could've happened, "or else I'll be back."

"I'm not lying," Bert promised biting down on his words, "though maybe it's better that it's you instead of them."

"Them?" Logan arched a curious brow.

"The people that I worked for," Bert finally conceded after a moment of hesitation, "You're right. This isn't severance pay. This was something that I took when the building was on the verge of collapsing. They had a safe in the back room…a vault where their kept their resources, where they had their reserve, so in seeing the place about to fall to pieces, I took what I could get."

"Which was what exactly?" Logan eyed him with heavy scrutiny.

"A lot of it is gone, but this…" Bert motioned to his discarded clothing. He stepped forward reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small hard, black and silver substance Logan immediately recognized, "it seemed like it might be worth something. They had it locked up so tight that I felt it had to hold value."

"Where did you get this?" Logan questioned reaching for the rock in the man's hand.

"They had a bunch of it in storage. I was able to sell off most of it, but this, well I kept it for myself. Figured with what I got paid for the samples I had it might come in handy in the future," Bert shrugged his shoulders simply, "Had no clue what it was used for, but it must be pretty important given that I've heard they have a bounty on my head now.

"Then I strongly suggest you run," Logan looked to the material knowing only too well what it could become. Pushing it into his pocket he turned his back to Bert and moved towards the door, "and never stop running."

"What is it?" Bert asked worriedly.

"The key to your undoing if you keep telling people you had this," Logan reached for the door preparing to leave.

"Perhaps, but you know it turns out that Victor wanted it as well," Bert announced in a desperate attempt to recapture Logan's attention. "He was pretty adamant about getting into the vault when he was working for them…"

"Did you give him any of it?" Logan questioned worriedly, his thoughts weighing down upon him. "Does he have it?"

"No," Bert shook his head firmly, "I don't think so. I think he left before he could get access and…"

"Are you sure?" Logan reached out to seize Bert by the collar, "Who did you sell this to?"

"Private buyers," Bert shrugged, "Mostly museums and…"

"Museums don't pay this well," Logan frowned at the thought of what the janitor had gotten himself into.

"I don't care who has it. All I cared about was the money," Bert blurted out with a nervous shrug of his shoulders.

"That's enough for you to wind up dead," Logan felt an uneasy sensation overtake him, "We need to get you out of here. If anyone who knew you had this comes seeking you out…"

"No one is going to find me here," Bert replied simply, "I'm alright as long as I lay low and…"

"I found you, which means they can find you as well," Logan snarled defensively, knowing only too well that the people who were in possession of the material would be seeking out Bert's head for pawning it off to the highest bidder. Logan opened his mouth to say something more, to encourage Bert to come along with him, but there was a knock on the door. Standing up taller, Logan turned around to face the door wondering if those who had been seeking out Bert had followed him to the bar. Wondering if Victor was close behind, Logan found himself ready for battle, ready to engage in a fight, but when the clicking of the lock hit Logan's ears followed by the door opening to reveal an auburn haired woman on the other side Logan knew that Bert was safe for the moment.

"If you want to live, then you're going to have to…" Logan turned around to face Bert again only to discover the man had slipped out of the room's back door. Saying nothing to the woman who had just arrived, Logan raced after Bert, hoping to find him in the back parking lot, but just as what had happened the night back at the compound Bert had disappeared, slipping under Logan's radar without satisfying any of his questions. With a scowl, Logan reached into his pocket pulling out the adamantium he'd collected from Bert. Knowing that Victor wanted it meant trouble and if Logan didn't move in on him soon, there was no telling what could happen. Pushing it back into his pocket, Logan decided that perhaps now was time to bring the others into what was happening. Maybe together they could be able to take out Victor and end the nightmare once and for all.

XXXXXX


	2. Chapter 2

"So I think we've got everything covered," Storm closed the agenda on the desk before her, "This year should be a very productive one from what we've outlined. Any questions?"

The room was silent. Quieter then usual now that Scott had returned, joining the other staff members for their weekly run down of what was ahead for the students at the school. Although Scott had only been back interacting with the faculty a couple of days, it seemed that his friends and coworkers were still tiptoeing around the issue that remained with Storm in control of things at the school. Granted it might've been a non-issue when Scott wasn't around, but the fact remained that Charles decision to promote Storm to running things had proven to be a point of contention within the faculty, creating an uneasy, unspoken, unsettling feeling between the staff during most of the exchanges for the night. Scott could feel it and judging by the tension that creased over Storm's brow for most of her talking, he knew she was weighed down by it as well.

"Thanks again everyone," Storm smiled graciously saying a few more pleasantries before the staff started to filter out of the office, leaving her and Scott alone with one another for the first time since Scott's return to the school.

"Scott," she cleared her throat with a sudden uneasiness. She smiled at him politely, but Scott could sense she was weary, uncertain on how to approach him given all that had transpired in Scott's absence. Although Charles had also returned around the same time Scott had did, inevitably Charles was taking a more passive role in running things, settling back into his old habits and allowing Storm to continue on her path leading the students for the time being, "how are you?"

"I'm good," Scott noted politely, his smile a bit forced and unnatural despite his inability to carry any ill-will towards her given that he realized she hadn't chosen this new path for them, "You?"

"A bit tense," she admitted honestly, rubbing her palms together before taking a seat on top of the desk before him, "I guess tonight's meeting reflected that, huh?"

"Just a little bit," Scott finally relented, offering up a genuine smile, "but you'll be able to win them over soon enough."

"If I haven't been able to win them over yet, well, I'm starting to think it's never going to happen," she confessed with a small breath, her lips parting as if to say something more, but she stopped herself.

"Give it time," Scott suggested leaning back in his seat, "If Charles felt you could do this, then I'm sure his faith in you hasn't been misplaced."

"He's always been far more optimistic then most," she brought one hand up through her soft, white hair.

"Optimism is a sign of hope and hope brings promise for the future," Scott noted thinking about all the changes he'd seen within the school, "You've done a great job of keeping hope alive in his absence. Everything around us reflects that."

"On the contrary, you're the real sign of hope," she smiled back at him, "You have no idea what it was like for everyone after you were all gone. When it all began we were in denial, but after acceptance was difficult. It was as if a giant part of who we were was ripped away from us, first with you, then Charles and Jean…"

"I'm sorry that I stayed away for so long," Scott replied guiltily, unable to hold back on the regret in his voice, "I never should've put all of you through that."

"I can understand you had your reasons," she nodded sympathetically, "In losing those you loved…in being without Jean…"

"Jean," Scott repeated thinking of the lover he'd lost to madness. Closing his eyes he thought back to their final moment together, to her kiss that had torn his world upside down and ripped it apart at the seams.

"She wasn't herself at the end Scott," she added breaking through his thoughts, giving weight to his memory, "If she had any idea what she was doing, what Phoenix was capable of, then I'm certain she would've fought harder. I know that she never, ever would have…"

"You're right Ororo," Scott interrupted tightly, unable to quell the unsettling tension building in the pit of his stomach at the memory of Jean, "It wasn't Jean. It wasn't at all the woman we all loved and cared for."

"She was one of my best friends," she added unable to hold back on the small choked tone that carried over her, "Losing her was devastating especially in learning that we could've fought it. If we only would've seen what was happening to her sooner. If we could've saved her somehow…"

"There's not a day where I don't regret my inability to do just that," Scott lowered his head shamefully, feeling the memory of Jean surround him. "I just wish…"

"She didn't mean to hurt you Scott," Ororo blurted out causing Scott to raise his head up again to meet her concerned eyes, "She loved you with everything inside of her and I know if she could've stopped herself, she would have. She would've gone out of her way to ensure that you were safe that you were…"

"I'm still alive," Scott conceded with a small breath of a sigh, "That in itself says something. Maybe there was still a part of her inside that couldn't kill me, that couldn't destroy Xavier either…"

"I'd like to think so," she nodded, bringing one hand up to wipe at the single tear that carried over her cheek. "I'm sorry Scott. I didn't mean to bring this up considering I know what you went through. When Logan told me about what happened with you and Jean at the lake, well I didn't want to believe it, but when I took the time to let it sink in, I just felt as if…"

"You don't have to say it," Scott interrupted shifting on his seat uncomfortably, "It's in the past now."

"Even so, with what she did to you. In causing you to lose your powers, to feel like you couldn't return…" she bit back on her emotions. She took a moment recomposing herself with a thoughtful expression, "No matter. We're glad to have you back. You've been missed."

"I've missed everyone here as well," Scott admitted honestly, thinking about how being back at the school meant no more being alone. He didn't have to hide from who he was any longer, being lost in a life that wasn't meant for him. He was able to embrace his powers, to return to his old self without hesitation, to have purpose and reason in his life. Yes, he'd changed, his powers had evolved to something else, something he hadn't been ready to share with the others yet, but here life made sense. At the school he wasn't simply a bored accountant breezing through life doing what was expected of him. He was a teacher, a leader, someone who could make a difference in a great many lives. He had purpose again and he owed that all to Logan.

"If there's anything I can do for you," she broke through his thoughts, bringing him back to the moment once again.

"Actually," Scott pondered aloud, unable to shake the thoughts that carried over him in the moment, "Logan mentioned there was a break in at the school around the time Victor abducted me. He was a bit sketchy on the details of what happened. I was hoping that maybe you could tell me about it."

"Do you think the two were connected?" she pondered aloud, a frown carrying over her soft features.

"I would tend to think that it was very unlikely," Charles interrupted alerting the both of them to his presence. Scott stood up, turning around to discover his mentor in the doorway taking in their words with a great interest. "Although the timing was very close, it would seem highly unlikely."

"Not necessarily," Scott replied watching move across the room, "Mystique said that the people who had taken you were tracking me through Logan. They had been following him, so if they came in here searching for something…"

"Those people wouldn't have the ability or methods to make their way inside the school," Charles dismissed Scott's words, "Given the levels of security were heightened after Stryker's previous attack to prevent the further upset of the children, it would be next to impossible for someone to…"

"But not impossible," Scott interrupted with concern in his voice. "Anyone could find their way in here if they wanted to with a little persuasion and deception…"

"No one on staff would allow it," Storm added quickly, "We've been very careful with monitoring things and…"

"What about Mystique?" Scott looked over his shoulder at Storm. "She had been seeking out Magneto, hoping to find him. Was it possible that she broke in here and tried to go down to Cerebro again? Perhaps she wanted to give it a try and see if she could…"

"Mystique's abilities don't allow her to perform such a task Scott," Charles explained simply, "Even with all of her capabilities, you know as well as I do for her to even attempt to use the machine the results could be deadly. Only a trained telepath could be able to access the machine and…"

"What if she found a loophole?" Scott suggested thinking about his new powers, "What if somehow in regaining her mutation, she was able to pick up on something else? We all know that the cure was fallible, so what if in having it pushed upon her, it further mutated her genes and…"

"As it stands right now it's an impossibility Scott, one that is without any kind of warrant considering that none of the other mutants who had gone through the experience have shown any sign of enhanced mutations," Charles answered with a simple shake of his head.

"Nothing's an impossibility," Scott added quickly, his voice growing heightened in the moment, "There's a chance that somewhere along the line the cure created something else, brought about other changes that we weren't aware of. They could be dormant for a while, but then as time goes on…"

"Nothing supports that yet Scott," Charles offered up softening his tone, "Although there could be a remote possibility as you suggest, it still seems as if…"

"Whomever broke in did try to make their way to Cerebro," Storm added breaking her silence. "They had ransacked a few rooms, but I think that was simply meant at distracting us, at turning us away from what their real goal had been."

"Obviously they weren't successful in their attempts given what you explained to me," Charles nodded towards Storm, his blue eyes seeking out answers from her.

"No, they weren't," she admitted with a crease in her brow, "but it was clear they'd tried."

"So it could've been another mutant or even a telepath," Scott continued wondering if somehow the truth had been linked to what had taken place with him and Charles. "They could've been seeking out someone and…"

"Right now I think we should focus on building up a sense of ease and understanding within the students," Charles interrupted with a firmness in his tone, "While it is something we will have to investigate further down the road, in this moment I think it's more important to have the children feeling safe. Their security has been shaken and it's up to us to provide them with comfort in knowing that they're safe here."

"Being safe means taking action and being proactive about this," Scott couldn't help, but protest, "If we can discover who was behind the source of the attack, then we can neutralize it before another one takes place. We can…"

"Scott, I don't think we should be taking that leap just yet," Charles frowned up at him, "Given that we're both simply trying to adjust to returning…"

"If we don't take a step to seek out the source of the chaos, then we could be blindsided by it again in the future," Scott mouthed stubbornly, "If we don't try to understand…"

"Understanding is important, but at the same time peace of mind is also…" Charles spoke up in warning.

"Something we'll only achieve if we seek out the source of tension and work to find a way to neutralize it," Scott blurted out, feeling a surge of impulse overtake him.

"Neutralizing it won't prove to be an easy task and given what we've both experienced, I would imagine that you'd rather focus on healing. In going after this without being prepared it's asking for trouble, it's inviting danger into this school, into the walls of our home and allowing an opening for trouble," Charles added.

"Trouble is sitting back and doing nothing when…" Scott snapped back at Charles, feeling an uncharacteristic rage spiraling through his body.

"I'm sure we can look into it," Storm suggested unable to ignore the growing tension in the room between the two men. She stepped forward hoping to smooth the waters between them, "Given that the semester is just beginning, I think it would be best for us to focus on the children and their education. We've already taken measures to ensure their safety-to make sure that a situation like that won't happen again."

"Famous last words," Scott muttered under his breath.

"Scott," Charles chastised with a frown, "What has gotten into you?"

"What's gotten into you?" Scott couldn't help, but shake his head. "There was a point in time when you would fight for the truth, for the safety and security of those around you, yet you refuse to investigate the break in. You refuse to look into what's happening when you and I both know that if anyone can discover the truth it's you. All you would have to do is look and…"

"The security cameras were down that night," Storm added quickly, "there was an outage and…"

"Of course there was," Scott mouthed sourly, "because that in itself ties into the whole strengthening of security around here, doesn't it?"

"Scott," Charles spoke his name in warning.

"Forget it," Scott threw his hands up in the air, "It's not up to me to think about what's best for everyone anymore, now is it?"

"Scott," Charles called out to Scott, watching Scott exit the room full of agitation and upset.

"What just happened here?" Storm couldn't help, but question worriedly. "How did we just go from a civilized conversation to…?"

"Give him time," Charles suggested with a small sigh, "He'll come around."

"This isn't like him," Storm added, unable to hold back on the sentiment that carried over her, "Since his return something's changed. He's relaxed in so many ways, yet at the same time he's so angry, so bitter and…"

"He's adjusting to what he experienced with Jean," Charles explained smoothly, "We all are."

"Even so," she paused looking to Charles again, "The way he just spoke to you…"

"He doesn't mean it," Charles waved his hand dismissively, "Deep down he's just as confused about things as we all are. He's seeking out answers about what's happened to him, about what's continuing to happen to him and about his place here at the school."

"I never meant to step on his toes. I know that he was the one you initially wanted to run things, to…" Storm softened her voice, her worries getting the best of her.

"I don't regret my decision and neither should you," Charles clarified with a firmness in his voice, "I stand by having you here running things. Scott is in no position to step up to the task, especially not now when he's fighting a battle from within in trying to understand."

"Even so," she hesitated, her thoughts lingering to Scott's retreat, "what if he's right? What if we should be looking further into discovering the source of the break in? What if there is something that we missed? Maybe we should get a team together and investigate just to be safe. I'm sure if we can pull a few answers from that night, then…"

"Everything will be fine," Charles promised facing her fully, "It will just take time. I'm sure of it."

"I hope you're right," she added thinking of Scott's cynicism and wondering if perhaps it wasn't completely unwarranted as Charles had wanted her to believe. Still in trusting Charles implicitly, she allowed the worry to leave her instead focusing on what was important in pulling together the school and it's students in a more unified front.

XXXXXX

"Son of a bitch!" Logan heard a voice shout from inside the garage. Now standing at the front with Scott's bike beside him, engine turned off and rolling forward into the garage in the hopes of being undetected Logan realized he'd been caught. He hesitated knowing only too well that the angry voice was none other then Scott's sounding incredibly annoyed. He'd hoped to avoid irritating Scott in taking the bike especially after the frustrating turn his evening had taken when Bert had up and vanished again bringing him no closer to resolution where Victor was concerned. Now with the adamantium in his pocket and a new set of questions overtaking him, Logan realized that the night was just going down a slippery slope faster with each passing second. Then again that wasn't entirely true, he pondered knowing only too well that he didn't mind ruffling Scott's feathers every now and then. Still in hoping to return without anyone noticing he was gone in order to avoid questions, Logan figured he'd beat the end of the staff meeting, make his way upstairs and pretend he'd been bored reading through one of Scott's endless novels, but obviously fate had other plans. Taking in a breath Logan returned the bike to it's parking spot before raising his hands up in the air defensively.

"It was just a small ride and I filled her back up," Logan confessed with a sheepish grin, half anticipating finding Scott standing before him in a neatly pressed shirt uptight and agitated. The thought in itself was a bit of a turn on, now that Logan found himself eager to see Scott's frustration. He could almost feel Scott's angry eyes upon him, watching with arms folded tightly across his chest in an attempt to hold back on the inevitable irritation that had consumed Scott. Logan could almost sense the tight scowl that would be stealing the softness from Scott's otherwise handsome features, but when Logan turned towards the source of the sound ready to plead his case, he discovered no one was there.

"Scott?" Logan questioned taking another tentative step forward. He looked around the garage wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him after he'd headed out to the bar to get a few rounds in before returning. Although alcohol seldom had an effect on him, tonight he was starting to believe that insanity along with his encounter with Bert was guiding his thoughts in discovering he was alone. Still unable to see Scott around him, Logan instead relied on his sense of smell, feeling himself hit by the distinct odor of his lover's aftershave from across the room. However, when Logan found himself focused on Scott's Corvette parked across the far side of the garage, he couldn't help, but wonder if everything was off.

"That's never happened before," he brought his hand up over his head knowing that usually alcohol burned through him, unable to render his senses off for very long. However, with the delicious aroma of Scott consuming him, guiding him over towards the dark colored sports car, Logan couldn't help, but find himself intrigued. It was then that he heard a clicking, banging sound coming up from the ground beneath him.

"What the…?" he mouthed to himself, seeing a pair of long, denim covered legs stretched out from underneath the elevated car. He could hear muffled cursing from below the vehicle where the top half of Scott's torso was buried underneath, clearly working on whatever project had guided him out into the garage at such an hour. Unable to keep from admiring the way the now dirty jeans fit Scott, Logan smirked. Pushing his sour mood aside, he settled in against another one of the cars behind him, opting to admire the way the denim was far more restrictive in outlining the contours of Scott's body then the usual pleated slacks that Scott donned during school hours. Yes, jeans were an upgrade, Logan realized when he let out a low rumble of a breath. "Having trouble?"

"You wouldn't believe how much trouble I'm having right now. I'm supposed to be…" Scott slammed something into the bottom of the car again. There was a loud popping sound that caused Logan to step back when Scott started to slide out from underneath the vehicle. Logan stood straighter, a mixture of amusement and arousal carrying over him in seeing Scott slide out from underneath the car in a jerky movement. Logan's golden eyes widened watching Scott wiggle out from the heavy metal above him, clad in a dirty, white, sleeveless t-shirt. For some reason Scott had abandoned his usual, reserved attire to return to something casual and sexy in the moment. His hair was wild and unruly, his blue eyes filled with a stubborn determination as Logan spotted Scott's glasses resting on the hood of the car.

Dropping his gaze down again to peruse Scott completely Logan's thoughts slipped away from his nagging worries over Victor, in order to focus on the delicious new distraction. He watched Scott run his dirty fingers down over the jeans, pressing them over his thighs to wipe excess black grease off of his hands before sliding out from underneath the car more completely. His words were lost on Logan when Scott pulled himself up, springing to his feet and turning away from Logan to face the car again. Scott moved around the car popping up the hood and dipping inside to retrieve something. Involuntarily Logan's gaze dropped down to Scott's bottom, appreciating the way the faded, old jeans showcased it, putting it on display for Logan with Scott bent over in a savory fashion.

"So as you can see without the part I'm not going to be able to finish, which means this project is going to take another day," Scott stood upright and reached for the hood again. "I should've had it done already, but because some people feel it's best to put things off and ignore the problem completely when it's right in front of you, it's easier to delay. For some it's better to simply sweep it aside and…"

"Rough day?" Logan questioned catching the sour tone in Scott's voice. He could sense it in the air surrounding Scott, could feel the frustration indicating that clearly Scott's night had been about as productive as Logan's had been. Both men had hit a metaphorical brick wall, caught up in their own personal agitation, yet in seeing Scott standing before him looking sexier then ever, Logan found himself pleasantly distracted by thoughts of re-channeling his frustrations into something more exciting.

"What gives you that idea?" Scott mouthed with irritation, still focused on the car in front of him. He continued to huff impatiently, agitation enveloping him with an air of distain when Logan stepped forward bringing his arms around Scott's waist possessively.

"I take it your meeting didn't go well. Let me guess they aren't letting you run the chess club this year," Logan teased bringing his nose to the side of Scott's neck, inhaling in the distinct scent of sweat and frustration surrounding his lover. It should've been a hint at Scott's demeanor, but even in his frustration, Logan couldn't help, but long to move in for a taste, to tempt and tease Scott until finally both men could be contented in each other, ignoring the world for a while. Yes, Scott was certainly a distraction, but one that Logan readily embraced in the moment with his thick arms surrounding him. Unable to resist taking a bite of Scott's deliciously agitated skin, Logan sank his teeth into Scott's shoulder.

"Logan," Scott groaned outwardly, his body tensing up when Logan's hand placed over the center of his chest, fingers squeezing at the muscled contours possessively, "I'm all dirty right now."

"I noticed," Logan massaged his thick, oversized fingers over Scott's body, feeling just how thin the t-shirt was beneath his grip. It left little to the imagination now that Logan could sense the heat radiating off of Scott's body beneath him. Although Scott's mood was far from savory, his body had immediately warmed up to Logan, readily welcoming him home again in their embrace. Sliding his fingers down over Scott's abdomen, Logan couldn't help, but reach for the material, drawing it out from inside of Scott's jeans without invitation. "I like it."

"Logan," Scott breathed turning around to face Logan fully, his face twisted with contemplation, thoughts clearly in another place as Logan stood before him, "I'm trying to work here."

"You said it yourself that you were done for the night," Logan wiggled his brow suggestively, "so if you're finished and I'm finished, then why not find a way to have us finish together?"

"Logan," Scott's cheeks grew a deep shade of crimson, his blue eyes even more inviting when Logan touched the side of his face.

"You look delicious," Logan dipped forward, stealing a kiss from Scott's now parted lips, "Good enough to eat actually."

"Right now I feel like I need a good shower and…" Scott attempted to protest, only further fueling Logan's desire to move in closer, pinning Scott against the car's side door. "Logan!"

"What?" Logan questioned lazily, his senses heightened by the nearness of Scott, knowing only too well how incredible it was to have Scott standing before him, wild and unruly, a deep contrast to the otherwise composed man he'd fallen for.

"Tonight's been kind of frustrating," Scott groaned bringing his hands up over Logan's chest in an attempt to place a distance between them.

"So let's work on changing that," Logan hooked his fingers in the loops of Scott's jeans, using little effort to guide Scott's lean, muscular body up into his. Dipping down to release a hot, needy breath, Logan's fingers squeezed at Scott's bottom eagerly.

"You've been drinking tonight," Scott pulled back ever so slightly, curiosity carrying over his tone.

"Maybe a little," Logan slurred, leaning in closer to Scott, unable to ignore the welcoming press of Scott's body into his, fitting like a glove against Logan's broad, muscular form. Dipping down to trace his tongue along the side of Scott's neck, Logan couldn't help, but smirk outwardly, "but I'm not drunk. You know that."

"Even so, why were you out drinking when you said you were going to be reading up on the facility we were at before?" Scott questioned involuntarily dropping his head back to give Logan access to his neck. "I thought you were going to work on research a bit…"

"I was working on research and besides maybe I just wanted you to spank me," Logan pulled back wiggling his brow suggestively in the hopes of putting his encounter back at the bar behind him for a little while, "What do you say?"

"Tempting," Scott sighed closing his eyes and falling back into the car, "but given the night I've had…"

"The night isn't over yet Summers," Logan traced the tip of his index finger over the center of Scott's abdomen, settling in over the button on his jeans with a low, rumble of lust building up inside of him, "What do you say we stick around here for a while and wax the car?"

"Wax the car," Scott repeated with wide eyes before frowning, "What? No. No. Noo…Come on Logan. You know that we can't just…"

"Sure we can," Logan pushed his leg in between Scott's thighs eagerly, parting them just enough to capture Scott's attention, "It's late, no one is awake, so why not just…"

"I can think of plenty of reasons why not," Scott offered up in protest, reaching out across the hood of the car for his glasses.

"Such as?" Logan asked lazily.

"For starters there are students all around us. If any of them wake up and find us, then…" Scott began in protest, his body tightening when Logan balled the t-shirt up over his abdomen, stretching it out enough to yank Scott in closer to him.

"Wrong answer," Logan frowned snaking his hand around the back of Scott's neck, sliding his fingertips through Scott's damp, dark hair before meeting his eyes with a sudden seriousness, "You can do better."

"Fine, I'm not in the mood," Scott challenged, meeting his eyes again with a new determination.

"Liar," Logan dipped down, sliding in closer as if he was going to kiss Scott, but he held back, keeping a distance between them. "You forget I can smell it on you Scott. I know when you're aroused and…"

"I'm angry," Scott slurred, his lashes fluttering to a close when Logan held him.

"About what?" Logan questioned almost afraid to ask knowing the answer would undoubtedly lead them away from seduction. In remembering his own evening of roadblocks Logan found himself suddenly wishing that Scott would just let loose for once, opting to react first, to give into physical pleasure long enough for them both to get off before returning to the issues that had surrounded them. Heaven knew it was what Logan needed right now.

"Over the fact that…" Scott's words came to a halt when he reopened his eyes and spotted the motorcycle across the room. "Damn it Logan. Did you take my bike again?"

"Yeah, so what of it?" Logan shrugged his shoulders while watching the way Scott's brow creased with fury, "I put it back and…"

"It's leaking," Scott detangled himself from Logan's arms. Moving over to inspect the bike more closely, he frowned reaching down to one of the hoses, "You broke a hose."

"I'm sure it was that way when I took it. It's no big deal. It drove just fine and…," Logan attempted to move in closer to Scott.

"Of course it's not a big deal because why would anything be a big deal when I say it," Scott threw his hands up in the air. Returning to his earlier sour disposition, Logan could see anger surrounding Scott, building and explosive seeking out the right target to unleash it on. "Heaven forbid what I say actually holds any weight around here."

"Scott," Logan tipped his head to the side giving him a sideways glance, "what's going on?"

"Nothing. Everything," Scott stood up and pouted, "I mean why one thing can't go right tonight is beyond me, but since I'm already having so much fun, why not add to the tension, right?"

"Look I don't know who decided to push the stick up your ass again, but you'd be best suited to pull it out," Logan grumbled in response unable to ignore Scott's attitude shift from the man he'd been in bed with earlier in the morning. Thinking of his own road block with Bert, Logan felt his earlier agitation carrying over his body. He folded his arms in front of his chest and glared over at Scott disapprovingly, "before it gets old."

"Gets old?" Scott repeated with an outward groan waving his hands around in the air, "Wow, far be it from me to annoy you Logan. What ever was I thinking?"

"Screw this," Logan decided with a roll of his eyes, "Have fun being an asshole tonight Scott. See if I care."

"Logan," Scott frowned, calling out to Logan, but it didn't matter. There was no point in arguing over nothing when it was a losing battle. Tonight was turning out to be a complete loss, Logan realized stomping out of the garage ready to put the whole ridiculous evening behind him once and for all.

XXXXXX

Logan slammed the door to the bedroom, not giving a damn if it woke anyone up after his confrontation with Scott. It was bad enough that his lead on Victor hadn't panned out like he'd been hoping, but then to have Scott walking around with that same sour attitude he'd carried with him before Jean died, it was too much to take. Yes, maybe Logan had overreacted in walking out the way he had, but he wasn't in the mood to listen to Scott's whining, especially not now when it seemed that Logan was the only one really concerned about their future. With adamantium on the open market, proving to be the subject of Victor's latest obsession Logan knew their problems were only going to be compounding in the future. Finding Victor would be of the essence. It would undoubtedly overrule a great many days in the future, yet in hoping to have a few minutes of time out with Scott, Logan had hoped to unwind. Unfortunately Scott's complaining and whining had only served to further annoy Logan. Now tearing his shirt over his head, Logan decided he'd go to bed, say to hell with everything else and get in some sleep before starting over again in the morning.

"Fuck it," Logan mouthed to himself stripping down completely. He tossed his pants across the room, sending them into a gaudy piece of artwork Scott had spent far too much time admiring in the past. Logan had hated it, wishing that Scott would've simply left it back in Ohio, but Scott was drawn to it, immersed in praising it and pondering it's worth time and time again. That in itself made Logan want to tear it down, tossing it in the trash when Scott wasn't around. However, he would settle for just knowing that his jeans smacked the painting causing it to slant in such a way that Scott would be annoyed enough to spend a great deal of time straightening it out. That in itself sent a bit of satisfaction through Logan in watching it spin on the wall before him.

"Serves him right," Logan decided bouncing onto the bed and doing his best to ignore the headache that had overtaken him. Yes, a first glance maybe it was a combination of his frustration and annoyance with Scott, but now with thoughts of how close he'd come to seeking out Victor only to end up hitting another brick wall, he couldn't help, but be agitated. He pulled the adamantium rock out of his pocket, opening up the nightstand drawer before pushing it inside. It might not be much, but it was a start. It was something he could work with and if he could discover where Bert had sent off the other shipments of it, then maybe just maybe Logan would be able to track down Victor. He could work on eliminating the threat to his life once and for all. Of course all of that would take time, which meant having a certain sense of patience. That was never a strong point for Logan, he realized with a scowl dropping down further on his bed.

Now alone and irritated, Logan couldn't help, but wish that Scott had been in a better mood. They could've talked about what had taken place at the bar, could've discussed strategy with one another. Hell, they could've just screwed like lust obsessed teenagers and Logan was pretty sure it would've put him in a much better mood. On most occasions it wouldn't have been a problem, but tonight given that everything else wasn't going Logan's way, he should've known that Scott would've been an issue as well.

"No matter," Logan mouthed to himself, "I don't need him to help me with this. I can figure this out on my own and…"

Bringing his arm up over the back of his head, Logan stretched out on the pillows realizing that perhaps he should've pushed further to see what was going on with Scott as well, but knowing what kind of stubborn idiot Scott could be in the midst of a tantrum, Logan didn't even bother. He would've pushed, Scott would've pushed back and they would've still wound up in the same deadlock with Logan annoyed, Scott bitchy and the two of them not accomplishing anything together. Now naked, angry and horny as hell, Logan couldn't help, but wish things had played out differently in the garage. Then again in seeing Scott bent over inside the hood of the car, poking and prodding around with things, Logan couldn't help, but smirk. So maybe the situation didn't end well, but the memory would be enough to get him going through the night. Maybe he'd find a way to distract himself a while before…

"Logan, come on," Scott's whining voice intruded on the moment of lustful contemplation that had overtaken Logan. Before Logan could get started on indulging the mood, he spotted Scott removing his glasses before standing in the doorway with hands placed firmly on his hips disapprovingly. Scott shut the door behind his arrival and opened his mouth to say something more, but when his gaze fell upon Logan's tortured flesh, seeing the steadily growing arousal before him, Scott gulped down hard, "Logan I…"

"You were being a dick and I'm in no mood for it. You're not the only one with problems Scott," Logan settled in over the blankets in a more blatant position, leaving no room for Scott to avoid taking a good, hard look at what he wasn't experiencing in the moment, "I don't know who pissed in your coffee this morning, but…"

"Xavier and I argued about," Scott opened his mouth to explain, hoping to find a rational answer to his mood swing, but when his blue eyes found themselves gravitating to Logan's overwhelming manhood, Scott gulped down even harder, "Never mind. Look I'm sorry…"

"What?" Logan brought his hand to his ear mockingly sensing Scott's sudden mood shift. While it wasn't a deep contrast to what had happened earlier, it was enough for Logan to ponder if perhaps the night was picking up after all, "I didn't hear you."

"I said I'm sorry," Scott took a tentative step forward, his chest rising and falling in a labored breath behind his greasy white t-shirt, "I was upset, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"No," Logan agreed tipping his head to the side, a naughty smirk carrying over his features when his hand settled in over his lap, drawing even more attention to his arousal, "but now that you have, what are you going to do about it?"

"I'll…" Scott licked his lips involuntarily, his hands still at his sides in a tentative position. He staggered forward, lips parting as he cleared his throat again, "I'll just hop in the shower, get cleaned up and…"

"How about you bypass the shower and work on making it up to me?" Logan suggested releasing himself suggestively. The movement caused his body to spring forward, accentuating his length to Scott all over again. He brought his arms up back over his head, settling in over the pillows in an attempt to get comfortable.

"I suppose that isn't totally out of the question," Scott agreed reaching down to tear his shirt up over his head. He discarded the dirty material on the floor, kicking his shoes off before unbuttoning his jeans. He started to unzip them when Logan shook his head slowly.

"Leave the jeans on," Logan ordered sitting up straighter, his voice firm and authoritative in the moment. "I like them on you."

"You'll like them even better off of me," Scott flirted in a thick, husky tone, desire carrying over him in the moment.

"Perhaps, but you weren't exactly in the mood to play nice, so now I'm not feeling inclined to be either," Logan stretched out further on the bed, "You'll have a lot of convincing to do before I'll forgive and forget."

"Forget," Scott eyed Logan suspiciously. Moving forward Scott crawled up on the bed, sliding forward on his knees to hover over Logan, "Now why in the world would you want to do such a silly thing when you know what we have is far too good to lose sight of?"

"You tell me," Logan stiffened refusing to make a move now that Scott hovered over him, blue eyes filled with longing and desire.

"I was being a jackass, but you," Scott's fingers fanned out over Logan's thighs, sending welcome sensations rippling through Logan's body. His lips parted, body responding to the warmth of Scott's hands upon him when Scott started massaging lazy circles over his inner thigh, "you deserve a proper apology."

"I do," Logan agreed, closing his eyes and leaning back further.

"Then let me work on it," Scott spoke up suggestively, the heat of his breath colliding with Logan's abdomen. Logan felt Scott lean over him, lean body stretched out over his thighs, his hair teasing across Logan's chest in a faint brush. A moment later Logan felt Scott's hand trace over his thigh, fingers dancing in the same familiar rhythm that Logan so enjoyed and appreciated. A soft sound of approval built up in the back of Logan's throat, causing him to reposition himself beneath Scott.

"You're so damn sexy Logan," Scott murmured placing a feathery light kiss over Logan's abdomen, "Even with the stress of work and everything else, I know better then to ignore just how irresistible you truly are."

"You do," Logan agreed feeling Scott's fingers wrap around his length, pushing upward in a firm, solid stroke. The movement caused another ripple of surrender to carry over Logan, causing his eyes to close even tighter.

"I'm sorry," Scott breathed against his skin, lips tapering off over Logan's abdomen, tongue swirling in slow, tiny flicks while Scott's fingers eased down over Logan's overwhelming length, doing their best to dote on ever inch of him in their grasp. Logan shifted, hips rising upward to meet Scott's movements halfway.

"Prove it," Logan dared half expecting Scott to throw out another round of flowery prose and apologize, but instead he was met by the feel of Scott's lips surrounding him, taking him into the hot, wet sheath. Logan groaned opening his eyes to view Scott before him, watching Scott's lips and tongue envelope him, tasting and teasing him with the same enthusiasm that Scott had carried with him in all of their encounters. Yes, maybe Scott hadn't been the boldest of lovers when Logan had first set out to claim him, but now Scott was well versed on Logan's body, knowing only too well how to please him. Logan pushed upward, rocking his hips up to meet Scott's tongue, pumping into Scott's mouth to offer his full length to Scott, wanting nothing more then to lose himself completely to Scott in his attempt at an apology.

"That's it," Logan dropped his hands down over the back of Scott's head, tangling his fingers through Scott's hair, pushing and guiding Scott's movements over him. A heaviness built in his stomach, the moist heat of Scott sending his senses on overload, carrying him to the edge, wanting nothing more, then to lose himself to the moment, to explode inside of Scott, reckless and wild in the moment.

Scott hummed against Logan's body, drawing out sensation after glorious sensation until Logan's eyes settled in on the jeans Scott was wearing. Suddenly remembering his lover's body hidden from his greedy eyes, Logan knew he'd made a mistake in refusing to allow Scott to take them off. Now he wanted more, needed something that felt better, a more perfect fit between them when his hands tugged at Scott's hair roughly, forcing Scott's mouth away from his body.

"Logan?" Scott questioned with confusion behind his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something more, to protest Logan's movement, but instead before he could speak Logan flipped Scott onto his back, slicing away at Scott's jeans until they were simply shreds of denim on the blankets beneath them.

"Don't say a word," Logan snarled reaching out across the bed to the nightstand. He opened the top drawer, pulling a few things out before flipping Scott onto his stomach without warning.

"Stay there," Logan warned bringing his hand over his own throbbing manhood, hoping to keep himself in the moment when Scott started to wiggle on the bed beneath him, rising up onto his knees.

"I told you to stay put," Logan snarled, shoving Scott back down into the blankets with a whimper. He could sense Scott's need for control, his desire to return to the role of guiding along their seduction, but tonight, well with Scott's attitude and sour demeanor, Logan was going to give him plenty to think about. Reaching down, Logan twisted his fingers through Scott's hair, wrenching his head up for a brief few seconds before slamming his face into the blankets again. Scott recoiled with the movement, tensing and pushing up on his arms to twist around on the bed, but Logan anticipated the movement, leaning forward to press his body over Scott's in warning.

"So help me Scott if you annoy me one more time tonight…" Logan's arousal brushed up against Scott's inner thigh causing him to let out a soft whimper of understanding. Scott dropped his head forward, awaiting instruction as Logan moved in behind him.

"Normally we'd be all about playing nice, but tonight," Logan snaked his fingers around Scott's body, coming into contact with Scott's arousal, knowing only too well that desire hadn't been skipped over in their moment together. He closed his fist around Scott's body, before reaching up to the back of Scott's head yanking on Scott's hair roughly. Leaning forward his teeth sank into Scott's shoulder and Logan bit down hard enough to pierce the skin. Blood carried over Logan's lip, the overwhelming taste of it mixed in with desire when Scott pushed back into Logan's body, hips grinding in a moment of involuntary protest.

"Don't move," Logan ordered again, wanting to drive Scott mad with lust, to send him over the edge in longing, but when Logan found himself between Scott's thighs, thinking about how much he'd wanted to claim his lover, he relented, instead releasing Scott in order to seize Scott's hips possessively. In an instant, he was inside of Scott, burying himself fully. Scott let out a harsh breath, a pained whimper building up inside of him, caught up in the momentary divide between pleasure and pain with Logan's body claiming him, possessing him in every way imaginable.

"Tell me how sorry you are," Logan stilled himself inside of Scott, reaching for Scott's hair again and twisting it tightly, "How wrong you were…?"

"I'm sorry Logan," Scott spat out behind gritted teeth, struggling to fight against the involuntary reaction to thrash back into Logan, forcing a movement between them. "I was out of line."

"You sure as hell were," Logan agreed rewarding Scott with a small, upward movement.

"I love you," Scott breathed, in between tiny pants, turning his head to the side and fighting to control the trembling inside of him, to stay focused on the moment when Logan had stopped moving, kept still inside of him, controlled and waiting for the opportunity to give Scott another taste of heaven between them.

"I love you too Summers," Logan confessed with a proud smile rewarding Scott with one movement, followed by another. In spite of the way things had started between them, there was no denying Logan's attachment to Scott. There was no hiding from the inevitable truth of how good they were together even when they were at odds. Yes, fighting was always good for foreplay, but sex, well that was something that they could always agree on-could always offer up to the other in the name of making up, fighting or just about anything else that they could think of. It's hold on them had expanded over time, intensifying with each building moment until finally Logan felt his control slipping away. His body began taking on a life of it's own, coupling with Scott in the most primitive of thrusts over and over again until finally everything else faded giving way to the moment leaving Logan to realize that tonight's disappointment couldn't be labeled as a failure after all especially not with Scott Summers in his life.


	3. Chapter 3

"Remind me again why we need a blindfold for this," Logan's upper lip curled in involuntary protest. He cringed slightly when Scott secured the knot at the back of his head, tightening it just enough to steal the moonlight from Logan's senses.

"Trust me you'll get used to it," Scott coaxed him soothingly. There was a faint brush of Scott's fingers curling over Logan's shoulder, sliding down Logan's arm until finally Scott stepped back breaking the deliciously inviting contact between them, "give it a few seconds and…"

"I know that much, but what I'm asking is why I need it," Logan explained folding his arms in front of his chest defiantly now that he and Scott stood with one another out back on the school grounds surrounded by the trees on the outskirts of campus, "Last time I checked it wasn't part of the exercise."

"It's all about taking things to the next level," Scott explained in that same smug, pointed tone that made Logan want to reach out and strangle him. Yes, loving Scott was always a plus, but when Scott presented his all knowing challenges, Logan couldn't help, but find himself irritated at times, "Besides, you'll still be able to fight me using your other senses."

"Perhaps I rather enjoy the idea of looking at your face while I'm kicking your ass," Logan quipped unable to refrain from revealing the beginnings of the smirk that carried over his features.

"Ah, now who says you're going to kick my ass?" Scott questioned brightly, amusement tickling over Logan's senses with Scott's words, "I've been on top of my game lately getting stronger each day."

"Then take the blindfold off of me and prove it in a fair fight," Logan suggested turning towards the sound of Scott's voice, "Let's see just how much strength you've regained through therapy."

"Therapy is a joke," Scott's laughter resonated through the trees, "and besides I spent plenty of my time experiencing sensory depravation through the years. When you aren't limited by the perception of sight, then you find your other instincts heightened. It enhances the experience, giving you an adrenaline rush and…"

"The only thing I'm going to be rushing is you when I catch you," Logan promised with a low growl, his body responding to the challenge that Scott presented him with. While they'd agreed to resume in some extra combat training outdoors on such a beautiful evening, it seemed that Logan's lover had something more in mind. Scott hadn't said it so much, but with the scent of desire in the air surrounding Logan, intoxicating his senses with the promise of pleasure, Logan found himself less inclined to complain about the blindfold. It would serve as a minor annoyance, but when the time was right, Logan would find his way to Scott, to having his way with him all over again.

"If you catch me," Scott teased, flirting shamelessly when he stepped forward. Logan felt a small squeeze on his bottom, the heat of Scott's breath behind him, pressing in over his shoulder, but before Logan could spin around and collect Scott in his arms, Logan realized Scott was off rushing into the trees ready to begin this game of chase.

"Oh I'll catch you," Logan decided with a purr, thinking about all the ways he fully intended on ravishing Summers once they met up with one another again. His grin expanded, lust coiling through his every synapse when he moved forward guided by his sense of smell hot on Scott's trail.

Rushing through the trees Logan found himself consumed with thoughts of Scott. His brain was flooded with the memory of Scott's taste upon his lips, the warmth of Scott's body surrounding his. He could clearly recall the tiny breath that always escaped Scott's lips at that first second they were joined as one. It was enough to get Logan's blood pumping through his veins, to have his body flexed with desire, hard and ready to tear Scott's clothes from his body and forget about the 'exercise' Scott had laid out for them. To hell with combat training. Logan was going to seize Scott, throw him down on the ground and…

"Not so fast," Logan heard Scott taunt, sending a tree branch down towards Logan's head. Logan ducked avoiding the collision with a snarl. There was a rustling sound, followed by footsteps hurrying towards the water near the edge of the property. Even now Logan could take in the crisp, familiar scent of the water, the sound of the tiny waterfall crashing down into the cool water Scott would sneak off to every now and then for a skinny dip.

"You're mine Summers," Logan growled, unable to hold back on the beast inside of him any longer. He charged forward, following Scott's scent until finally he found himself near the water. He could hear Scott's laughter revealing himself through the trees, but it was the smell of lust that intoxicated Logan, bringing him out of the moment to prepare for claiming ownership on his sexy companion.

Reaching up Logan tore the blindfold away from his eyes, not bothering around with props any longer. He wanted Scott and waiting simply wouldn't do. Throwing the blindfold to the ground Logan looked around, eyes adjusting to the darkness. It didn't take long for him to discover Scott seated on one of the large stones near the water, naked and waiting for Logan to join him. Scott had discarded his visor, his blue eyes revealing the depths of his desire, the weight of his longing as Scott's grin expanded in invitation.

"What took you so long?" Scott questioned running his smooth fingers along the side of the stone in a tempting fashion. Logan's hungry gaze traveled over the lines of Scott's lean, muscular torso, dropping down further to see Scott's hardened length displayed proudly underneath the moonlight. It beckoned him, begging for Logan's attention as he moved forward thinking of all the ways he was going to enjoy torturing Scott endlessly. Licking his lips, Logan began to peel his sleeveless white t-shirt up over his head, next turning his attention to his jeans when there was a crackling sound from behind him, drawing him up and out of the moment.

"We aren't alone," Scott mouthed worriedly, leaning over to search for his discarded visor in an attempt to keep up the rouse that he'd been living since they'd returned to the school. Scott dropped down to the ground, causing Logan to hesitate.

"I'll get rid of them," Logan decided with a snarl, knowing only too well that with the promise of sex on the horizon nothing else seemed relevant. More than anything he wanted to bury himself in Summers, to get lost inside the man he loved, but someone out there was thwarting his plans. Someone was stealing that luxury away from him and now he was suddenly very angry. Standing up taller, Logan released his claws preparing to frighten off whatever intruder dared to spoil the fantasy, but to his surprise and dismay no one emerged from the trees.

"Damn it," Logan cursed waiting in silent contemplation for a few seconds longer before turning to seek out Scott again, "I think whoever it was is gone. They don't seem to be…"

Logan's words ceased when he realized Scott was no longer on the stone waiting for him. Stepping forward, he realized that the scene had shifted taking him to another time and place, to a moment where he was surrounded by misery, where his thoughts were consumed with violence and rage. He could sense danger on the horizon, feel it's iron clad grip upon him like a vise clawing and scratching at his senses until.

"Victor," Logan snarled, sliding into a defensive position when he knew he was no longer alone. Turning around he faced down the brother that time hadn't allowed him to forget forever. There in the moonlight they stood together in a stand off, their eyes seeping with animosity and rage over the things Victor had attempted to steal from Logan. Knowing only too well that Victor needed to be put down Logan charged forward preparing to destroy Victor once and for all, but before he could complete the task there was another voice in his head.

"Logan," he could hear Scott calling to him, causing him to hesitate. In that hesitation Victor moved faster, seemingly gaining the upper hand in their impending battle, but still Scott's voice grew stronger distracting him from the fight, "Logan wake up! Logan!"

"What?" Logan's eyes snapped open, his lips parting as his lungs gasped for air. He fought to regain control of his thoughts, to remember his surroundings, but when he caught the first glimpse of his metal claws shining through the darkness above him, fear carried over him.

"Logan, it's alright," Scott's voice spoke up soothingly, his fingers wrapped carefully around Logan's wrist in a tight grip, doing his best to prevent Logan from sending the adamantium claws through Scott's bare abdomen that now hovered above Logan. Logan struggled against the hold momentarily, his brain overloaded with thoughts of going after Victor, but when he felt the gentle brush of Scott's hand against his cheek, the dream faded completely replacing the moment with the serenity that surrounded him in waking hours.

"It was only a dream," Scott explained tenderly, his fingers sliding up into Logan's dark, unruly hair. Through the darkness Logan could see Scott's worried blue eyes upon him, their depths divided by concern and love after having witnessed one of Logan's nocturnal breakdowns. In the nightmare Logan had gone from excited, to confused, to overtaken with madness driven by the notion that the man who had tried to steal Scott from his life was still out there, walking around and enjoying each breath that fate had allowed him. It made Logan's blood boil, mind fill with rage, but it was the warmth of Scott that silently coaxed Logan to release the anger long enough to savor the moment between them. "You're safe now."

"As long as Victor's out there we'll never be safe," Logan mouthed guiltily, his heart sinking at the memory of how Victor had tried to rip Scott from Logan's life not that long ago. Thinking back to the confrontation at the power plant, Logan shivered feeling it play out in his mind all over again. He thought to Victor's lies announcing Scott's death. He could recall the helplessness he'd felt, the desire to end it all only to discover that Scott was still alive. Remembering how despair had transformed into hope only to have it come crashing down around them with the building caused Logan's heart to furiously pound all over again. In his mind, he could clearly see Scott underneath the debris again, crushed before him. The agony of the moment consumed Logan's thoughts and he couldn't help, but tense up involuntarily. "He won't stop until he destroys us."

"We're not going to allow him the luxury," Scott promised dipping down to place a tender kiss over Logan's forehead.

Feeling Logan's claws return beneath the surface of his skin, Scott repositioned himself over Logan, thighs surrounding Logan's muscled abdomen in a steady press. Cupping Logan's face in his hands, Scott leaned forward again, this time pushing Logan's lips apart in a forceful tease. Before Logan could protest, Scott's tongue was inside of him, seeking out a means of erasing Logan's worries, desperately trying to soothe Logan's troubled subconscious. Instinctively Logan's arms wrapped around Scott's thighs, fingers stretching out up over the curve of Scott's muscled bottom, kneading and stroking the firm flesh in his grasp.

"You're safe now," Scott whispered as they parted breathlessly. Scott's blue eyes beckoned Logan again, coaxing him to accept the truth that the danger had passed. Now as they lay together in Logan's bedroom at the school, surrounded by familiarity, Logan couldn't help, but feel his mind settling to ease again. He searched Scott's blue eyes, grunting slightly when he felt Scott's body shift over his, revealing the lust that spilled into the air enveloping them.

Scott dropped forward, teeth grazing the side of Logan's neck, tongue tracing Logan's earlobe in a slow, sultry sweep causing Logan to groan beneath Scott. Although the dream had been horrifying, haunting Logan with the concern that was ever present in his mind over what Victor would pull next, the reality of Scott in his arms invoked the earlier part of the dream. He could clearly recall the longing and desire he'd carried with him at the idea of having Scott to himself. Closing his eyes Logan growled, a low, primitive breath of desire with Scott grinding over him, tempting him with every skilled movement of his hips.

"Focus on me Logan," Scott slurred huskily, his voice penetrating the darkness that surrounded Logan's thoughts, entering into his mind with an unexpected warmth. Scott's blue eyes beckoned Logan silently, their depths revealing an emotion Logan hadn't anticipated finding ever again.

In Scott's eyes he could see their past returning to them. He could feel the heightened awareness of Scott's new power surrounding him, slipping into his mind, into his thoughts like a comforting blanket drawing out the excitement of their first kiss, the passion behind their first declarations of love to their first time together making love in this very spot. The vivid memories assaulted Logan's tortured brain, pushing the horrors of Victor aside long enough for Logan to immerse himself completely in thoughts of Scott. Sensations bristled over Logan's body, stimulating his every animal instinct in the moment, focusing entirely on Scott, on the taste, the touch and the feel of Scott over him.

"You're in my head," Logan managed to whisper tightly knowing only too well that Scott was attempting to bring an end to the war happening beneath the surface in Logan's mind.

"I only want to help you," Scott promised dipping down to kiss Logan tenderly. His fingers tangled through Logan's hair in a tentative brush, soft and comforting despite the raging fury Logan had felt minutes earlier.

Although Logan hadn't been one to have someone poking around in his mind, Scott made it almost welcome, almost as if it was a deeper way of connecting between them, but even with the delicious memories of the past with Scott returning to him, Logan knew he couldn't allow Scott to explore the darkness that was still buried inside of his subconscious. Fearing for what Scott could discover if he spent too much time poking around in his head, Logan reached for Scott's shoulders, shaking him gently before speaking up in a small rumble of need.

"Then kiss me," Logan commanded roughly pulling Scott down against his chest. His lips collided with Scott's desperate and needy in their approach. His hands wandered over Scott's lean muscular form, pushing Scott out from inside of his head with the erotic distraction. In an instant Scott's skin ignited, hands sliding over Logan's strong, powerful shoulders before Scott leaned back, sliding upward over Logan's body.

"Summers," Logan half questioned, half complained feeling Scott arching backwards away from him.

"Shh…" Scott whispered pressing his index finger over Logan's lips to silence him before Logan's eyelids fluttered to a close. Scott sat up straighter, his nails scraping over Logan's chest in a rush of pleasure-filled agony. There was a mind stopping sting from the scratches upon Logan's skin, the warmth of blood revealing itself, but almost as soon as it started it disappeared giving way to the longing in Logan's desire.

Reopening his eyes Logan watched Scott arch backward, his hips sliding forward to allow his hard body to collide with Logan's abdomen, to brush across the hair dusted surface in a tentative sweep. Logan's eyes widened upon remembering that Summers was still naked as he'd been when they'd first gone to bed. It had been a change from the modest pajamas that Scott had usually worn each night, but now Logan found himself appreciating his lover's bolder decision to discard his clothing for the evening. Scott smiled seductively, warming up to Logan, skin to skin without barriers or restraint in his longing. Releasing Scott's bottom, Logan curled his fingers upward, wrapping his fist around Scott's growing erection. Scott bit down on his lip, sliding forward against Logan's abdomen in an involuntary brush. Unable to suppress the whimper that built up in the back of his throat, Scott shivered with delight, savoring the feel of Logan's rough touch against him.

"Please," Scott begged in a primitive whisper, his voice revealing the depths of the hunger he'd felt for Logan in the moment. While Logan was initially half asleep, still feeling the after shocks of his nightmare upon him, the overwhelming awareness of Scott had worked a number over his senses bringing him back to the one primitive instinct he'd never been able to deny-lust.

"Roll over," Logan finally decided releasing Scott much to Scott's dismay. Scott whimpered in protest, his lip curling in the beginnings of a pout, but knowing what would follow, he didn't argue. He simply turned to his side preparing to lay on his stomach to accommodate Logan's request.

"Wait," Logan reached out to wrap his arm around Scott's chiseled abdomen. Tracing his fingers over the perspiration soaked ripple of muscle of Scott's smooth skin, Logan couldn't help but smirk, "stay there."

"Here?" Scott questioned with a heated breath, positioned on his side, turned away from Logan. He felt Logan's fingertips taper off over his hip. Logan's body slid in behind him, palm reaching for Scott's thigh and carrying it up over the thin, blue sheet that surrounded them. Bringing Scott's leg up, Logan bent it carefully, allowing the slide of Scott's calf muscle to rest against Logan's outer thigh.

"Right here," Logan purred in approval, his fingers sliding upward to pinch at Scott's nipple, to twist and taunt it with a rough pull causing Scott to whimper.

"God," Scott's eyes rolled back into his head, his lips parting in a shallow pant of desperation when Logan's fingers found their way to his mouth. Scott readily accepted the tip of Logan's index finger inside, sliding his moist tongue over the rough flesh, wet and eager to taste Logan's greedy touch.

"You're so beautiful Summers," Logan whispered biting down on the back of Scott's shoulder when he was met with sensory overload. Scott's thigh was brushing back against his, the depth of Scott's flexibility gaining Logan's approval when Logan's finger withdrew from Scott's lips, dropping down to caress every perfect line of Scott's body. Scott shivered, his breath ragged and broken when Logan returned his focus to Scott's bottom, kneading and stroking the rounded flesh heatedly. As Logan's caress grew more possessive, sliding his palm into a far more intimate exchange with his touch, Scott tensed up, body adjusting to the feel of Logan within as Logan's other hand moved into Scott's thick, dark hair, wrenching his head back just enough for another possessive bite into Scott's shoulder.

"I need you Logan," Scott began to writhe back into Logan, to welcome the notion of their union. Logan's tongue teased over Scott's shoulder blade, tracing over the back of his neck until finally Logan pulled Scott's leg up higher over his hip. He listened to Scott's desperate pant, the needy whisper of curse filled pleas falling from Scott's lips when Logan removed his fingers replacing his hard body at Scott's opening in an instant. Wrapping one arm around Scott's waist possessively Logan bit down on Scott's earlobe before crashing forward to bury himself inside of Scott.

"Logan," Scott mouthed his name, hips rolling back to accept Logan fully. His passion laden body eagerly welcomed Logan home again as it had a great many times in the past.

"Home," Logan thought to himself knowing only too well that the only time he ever truly felt alive was wrapped up inside of Summers, in having Scott whispering his name, giving away all the inhibitions he'd carried with him. Together they didn't have to pretend, they didn't have to carry with them the same façade everyone expected out of them. They were free to give in to the raw, primitive passion that only existed between them. Together they were unstoppable, a force to be reckoned with.

Now with Scott's soft whimpers rolling off of his tongue breathing Logan's name, Logan was surrounded by the primitive aroma of lust. Scott's body began twisting back into Logan, taking him readily and Logan knew in his heart there would never be anything more precious, more perfect in his life than being with Scott Summers. Yes, he wasn't one for sentimentalities, but Scott made him question that stance in his life. Their relationship had brought out a softer side of Logan, one not many people had been able to witness first hand. Making love to Scott was his serenity, his piece of tranquility, but deep down in knowing that, Logan realized that after what they had experienced with one another nothing could ever truly be enough anymore. Scott was everything, the only thing that Logan needed to pull himself from the darkness, to soothe his demons and bring him home again. Summers even with all of his prissy, intolerable righteous indignation was perfect in every way imaginable. He was truly Logan's everything.

Returning his focus to Scott's length again, Logan began to stroke him harder, faster, loving the way Scott's broken breath transformed from controlled longing to wild, wanton appeals for more. Scott bit down on his lip, body grinding against Logan needing more in a rushed, desperate set of pleas until finally Logan repositioned Scott on the bed, pushing him forward onto his stomach into the pillows. Scott silently complied to Logan's request rising up on his knees and elbows to accommodate their new positioning. Although they'd been apart for a couple of seconds it was far too long for Logan as he moved forward pushing into Scott's body overtaken by the animal within.

"Logan," Scott repeated his name over and over again, giving way to passion now that Logan gripped Scott's hips possessively.

"Tell me what you want Scott," Logan commanded sliding out of Scott's body, wanting nothing more then to imprint himself on Summers, to claim him completely. His fingers gripped Scott tightly, squeezing at Scott's thighs possessively now that Logan's heart hammered in his chest with a commanding movement.

"You," Scott begged frantically, "I want you Logan-only you."

Smiling outwardly Logan crashed into Scott again and again, no longer overtaken by any lingering traces of his nightmare or sleep. He continued to devour Scott savoring the scent, the sounds, the feel and the mood that surrounded him in their union. Scott's impassioned cries served as fuel to Logan's fire, causing his lust to spike up towards nirvana, taking them both crashing towards the edge. When Logan's arm surrounded Scott's hips, fingers colliding with Scott's hot, distended flesh, Scott was overtaken by the first waves of a climax. His body tensed tightening over Logan until finally Logan closed his eyes forgetting about the world around him in favor of returning to the one perfect moment he found lost inside of Scott Summers.

XXXXX

"What happened tonight? Want to talk about it now?" Scott inquired breathlessly after a long silence had lingered in the bedroom between him and Logan. He snuggled into Logan's chest, head placed over the it's center in order to hear to the sound of Logan's heart beating beneath him. He gently stroked at the dark hair over Logan's muscled contours, appreciating it's softness despite Logan's rough exterior. Closing his eyes, Scott listened to the sound of Logan's breathing.

"Not really," Logan admitted with a heavy sigh, his thoughts still surrounded by the smell of sex and the aftershocks of their time together.

"Fine," Scott decided shifting in Logan's arms to pull himself up on his elbows, "if you don't want to talk about it, how about I take a another look for myself?"

"Don't," Logan frowned meeting Scott's eyes again in warning, "I don't want you poking around in my brain again and I certainly don't want to discuss it."

"Logan, I wasn't trying to poke inside your…" Scott curled his lip in protest.

"That's exactly what you did and while I appreciate the distraction, I remember only too well how much you hated when Jean did that to you," Logan frowned giving Scott a long look. "It bothered you to think that your thoughts weren't your own, so now that you're able to see things from the other point of view…"

"I'm sorry," Scott softened his tone, his words barely audible when Logan sensed guilt in the air surrounding them, "that's not what I was trying to…"

"I know you weren't," Logan sighed hating to see the disappointment lingering over Scott's features, "It's just…some things just need to sort themselves out."

"I know it was about Victor. You said as much when I awakened you," Scott reminded him simply. His blue eyes were clouded over with genuine concern and worried determination, "It was clear when you woke up that…"

"I don't want to think about Victor," Logan attempted to put off Scott's questioning once again. Tracing the contours of Scott's spine in a tentative brush, Logan mouthed quietly, "especially not when I have the sexiest man alive in my arms."

"Sexiest man alive?" Scott couldn't help, but raise a curious brow, his blue eyes filling with amusement.

"Well, aside from yours truly," Logan winked unable to refrain from taking a moment to toss in a playful jab.

"Of course," Scott groaned outwardly, "because heaven forbid I might actually get credit in upstaging you just once."

"Always out to be the better man," Logan couldn't help, but roll his eyes, "You say I'm the one with the ego, but…"

"But nothing. Can't you at least offer a complement without there being a barb attached to it?" Scott curled his lip in protest.

"I didn't realize saying I was sexy was an insult to you," Logan wiggled his brow curiously.

"It isn't, I mean…" Scott shook his head and sighed, returning to settle in over Logan's chest again, "never mind."

"I get what you're saying Slim," Logan laughed lightly, bringing his fingers through Scott's damp hair and messing it up in an affectionate brush, "I just love to get you going every now and then."

"Gee, I hadn't noticed," Scott mouthed with heavy sarcasm in his tone, "I mean of course if I hadn't picked up on it when you almost got us busted in my classroom the other day…"

"It was your first day back teaching and you needed some encouragement. Besides, I told you that detention fantasy was going to become a reality for us," Logan joked ravenously. His arm curled around Scott possessively, enjoying the level of ease they'd carried with one another despite their earlier bickering, "and besides weren't you the one who said I passed my oral examination with flying colors?"

Scott's cheeks turned a pale shade of crimson before he lifted his chin to see the mischief burning behind Logan's eyes once again, "Logan, I swear you don't have to be so…"

"Blatant? Crass?" Logan curled his finger underneath Scott's chin, coaxing Scott's lips to his in a tender kiss, "I thought it was part of what you loved about me."

"It is," Scott divulged with a raw confession, "but if I start letting everyone see how your naughty side turns me on…"

"They might start believing you're some kind of pervert?" Logan finished with a hint of laughter in his voice. "Just like me?"

"I'm nothing like you," Scott wrinkled his nose at the suggestion. "I'm more restrained and…"

"You're exactly like me, but here," Logan paused thinking about the adjustments they'd been forced to make in their return to the school, "well, I guess you're just a bit more distracted. Maybe even a little more repressed."

"I'm on shaky ground Logan. I could see that clearly when I went to the staff meeting," Scott breathed thinking about the state of affairs they'd returned to after they had rescued Charles. The encounter had opened up a great many questions into the past. There were still answers needed about the time everyone had lost, about the people who had held Charles captive-about those who were attempting to seek out Scott, about what Jean had done to Scott, yet within all those questions it seemed there was no attempts being made at seeking a resolution.

"Only because you surround yourself with the deceptions," Logan touched Scott's cheek gingerly, "Summers, you don't have it in you to keep lying to everyone. Sooner or later they are going to see…"

"That what?" Scott questioned bristling at Logan's unspoken implication, "That I don't need to hide behind the visor because there's a possibility that I may or may not be able to control it? Logan, you know as well as I do that is only the tip of the iceberg. If they could see the other things…"

"Hank isn't stupid Scott. He's been running the tests and with your miraculous recovery…," Logan curled his lip in protest, remembering their friend's assistance in Scott's return to life.

"Even he doesn't understand what's happening," Scott lowered his voice, almost afraid to be having the conversation with Logan in the waking hours, "He knows that discretion is important to me…"

"I realize that, but sooner or later Charles is going to start questioning the changes. He's going to realize you've been pretending to be something you aren't and…" Logan thought to Scott's bond with the man who had helped pull him from the darkness that surrounded his life.

"I can't bring him into this," Scott detangled himself from Logan's arms. Falling back onto the mattress, Scott let out a long sigh. He brought his palms up over his face, hiding his eyes with a small groan, "Charles wouldn't understand."

"You don't believe that," Logan argued thinking about the changes that had been taking place in Scott. "If anyone can make sense of what's been happening, you know as well as I do that he can. Given the bond between the two of you, I'm certain he'll do everything in his power to…"

"No," Scott shook his head firmly, "I'm not going to bring him in on what's happening."

"Scott he's going to realize that…" Logan attempted to reason with Scott again.

"He won't," Scott stated firmly, "I've been good at covering my tracks."

"I can see right through you Scott," Logan couldn't help, but frown. "I know when something's troubling you, when you're upset…"

"That's because you know me," Scott touched Logan's chest in a faint brush, "You've seen the real me, but everyone else…"

"They know you too Scott. The Professor is the one person that you've always depended on and…" Logan shrugged simply, thinking about Scott's bond with the older man.

"He's hiding something from me Logan," Scott finally blurted out, his face growing suddenly serious in the moment.

"Hiding something how?" Logan searched Scott's eyes for a long moment.

"I can't explain it, but it's there," Scott confessed in a barely there whisper. "I felt it when I was visiting him not long after we returned. He tried to tell me something the day I found him. He was desperate to say something when he was inside my head, but then he stopped. At first I thought it was because of circumstances, but then when I questioned him on it later, he brushed it off as if it was nothing."

"Maybe it was nothing," Logan wrinkled his brow. "Given the traumatic nature of the experience we've all been through maybe he was just relieved to see you standing before him again Scott. We all thought you were dead, so maybe in his relief and surprise he just thought that there was so much to say, but…"

"Don't try to play psychoanalyst because it doesn't suit you," Scott frowned back at him dismissively. "He's holding back on me Logan. There's a distance in his eyes, something in his voice and when I…"

"What?" Logan couldn't help, but question.

"When I try to pick up on what it is, he's shutting me out," Scott explained nervously, his words betraying his own personal code of conduct. "I thought maybe it was because of Jean-because he was aware on some level of how things played out. Subconsciously I knew he could sense what was happening with me, maybe even before Jean did. After a while I just started feeling as if maybe he doesn't approve…"

"Of what?" Logan asked, sensing hesitation behind Scott's eyes, "Of us?"

Scott remained silent, looking to the sheet that surrounded them.

"You think he's got issues with what's happening between you and I?" Logan raised a curious brow, thinking about how this time around he and Scott hadn't been set on keeping their relationship a secret from those at the school. Last time Scott had been mourning the loss of Jean, coming terms with who he was and their relationship had taken a more private progression, but this time Scott refused to hide the truth. He and Logan had agreed to bring an end to the questions and share their happiness with those around them regardless of what tensions may arise from their union.

"I don't know," Scott admitted honestly. He laced his fingers in with Logan's, taking a moment to appreciate their rings against each other, "I would like to think he's happy that I'm finally at peace with my heart, but…"

"He doesn't trust it, does he?" Logan deduced thinking about the way things felt different in dealing with Charles. Although Logan hadn't said anything about it, there was certainly a distance that surrounded the man's approach. Granted Logan hadn't bonded with Charles like Scott had, yet towards the end Logan had respected Charles on a great many levels. Charles had been their rock when the world had collapsed, pushing them on to keep fighting until Phoenix had taken him as well. Still in the return they'd all made to the school at long last there seemed to be a wall, a tension that Logan had just attributed to the aftermath of the ordeal Charles went through, yet with Scott questioning it, Logan began to second guess himself.

"I know I shouldn't try to be poking and prodding around in his head, but something's changed Logan. Something's happening with him as well," Scott continued breaking through Logan's thoughts. "I just figured if I could find some clue into what's going on with him, then maybe…"

"You could sort out what's happening with you," Logan finished watching Scott nod.

"Something like that," Scott divulged quietly, "I know it's wrong, but I just assumed if he'd endured what I did with Jean then…."

"You could help him and yourself," Logan understood taking in Scott's words.

"It's a bit underhanded and I know it's wrong, but right now I just don't want to go into this guns blazing. Everything is so up in the air and tentative. If I bring him into this…" Scott's words tapered off again.

"What?" Logan couldn't help, but ask.

"I just don't know what the outcome will be. So many things have changed. He's changed. I've changed and…" Scott's blue eyes fell to a close.

"So you're going to what? Tiptoe around his subconscious for the answers you're seeking out?" Logan replied thinking of all Scott was sharing with him. "That's dangerous Scott. You know as well as I do that he's going to sense it. He'll realize that you're playing mind games. He'll sense your new powers and…"

"So far I've hit a wall," Scott explained thinking about his subtle attempts at learning what changes had taken place in Charles. "He's keeping me out, putting something out there to keep the others away…"

"Do you think it has something to do with the people who were holding him?" Logan asked worriedly. "If they've done something to him as well or maybe you were onto something in thinking about Jean. As you said she changed you, so is it possible that she also changed him when…"

"I don't know," Scott admitted honestly, "it's hard to tell, but you're right. I can't keep trying to sneak around this Logan. Sooner or later he's going to realize I'm the one trying to poke around in his head and…"

"If you've been doing that, then he has to already sense that you're different. He must know that you're…" Logan's words tapered off.

"What?" Scott couldn't help but ask. Tipping his head to the side to face Logan fully, he felt his mind overtaken with questions, "What am I Logan? First I was powerless, stripped of everything, but then after Victor tried to kill me not only did my powers return, but I've found more of them. I can do things I never imagined possible. I can read someone's thoughts, heal as if nothing can hurt me, yet it shouldn't be possible. Even after what happened with Jean, there is nothing lending to reasoning behind what's happening to me unless it's been somehow manufactured."

"Scott that's not what I'm trying to say," Logan frowned seeing the upset behind Scott's eyes.

"Why not Logan? You know we've both been questioning it," Scott sat upright on the bed. "You said it yourself that Mystique told you that…"

"I wouldn't take her at her word," Logan frowned remembering Mystique's cryptic message, "She's not to be trusted."

"Maybe not, but then tell me how I survived the attack? How could I step into Victor's mind and know…?" Scott's words trailed off, his thoughts returning to the moment of Victor's last attack on him.

"Know what?" Logan questioned worriedly, "Scott, what exactly happened that night?"

"I told you," Scott replied thinking back to the night he'd figured his life was over, "Victor blindsided me at the house, then I woke up in that cell. He dragged me down the hall and…"

"Go on," Logan half pleaded, half tensed up remembering the night it seemed the world had fallen apart completely.

"He attacked me, but this time I wouldn't let him see my fear," Scott explained shifting on the mattress to meet Logan's eyes again, "I fought it with everything I was, but I knew he was going to kill me. I realized that he wasn't going to allow me another opportunity to walk away…"

"So you tried to fight back," Logan hesitated knowing that he'd gone over the details with Scott a great many times in the past despite the uncomfortable discussion that always followed.

"I couldn't," Scott closed his eyes and recounted the moment, "I was strapped down feeling like I did when he first took me… I'd known what he was capable of, but then…"

"Scott," Logan watched Scott's jaw flex with tension, the memory of the madness consuming him. Reaching out to touch Scott's shoulder, Logan spoke up in a soothing tone, "never mind. We don't have to do this again."

"I saw you Logan," Scott blurted out without hesitation, "I thought my life was over, but there you were rescuing me. You gave me a second chance and…"

"Scott, I wish I'd come there sooner, but…" Logan felt guilt eat away at him over what Victor had attempted to do to Scott.

"I touched him," Scott met Logan's eyes again, "I saw the two of you together, growing up and fighting against the world. I could feel your bond, feel the love between you long before the end. I could see the history between you until it turned ugly. I watched you walk away and…"

"I don't remember all of that," Logan confessed painfully still a prisoner to the past and the memories that Stryker had forced out of his mind. "I wish I could, but there are still pieces that are stolen from my mind. There are vague bits and pieces some that don't make any sense. I have flashes, nothing substantial although I know he played a huge role in who I am today. Still there's so much that I don't remember, so many things that…"

"I can show you," Scott spoke up encouragingly, "Some of it's still imprinted in my mind. If you want me to…"

"No," Logan shook his head and sighed, "Not now. It's not what's important. It's not…."

"Not what?" Scott questioned drawing in a breath.

"I feel some of it still there inside of me threatening to reveal itself," Logan sighed resigning himself to the conversation they were having, "I can see Victor and I fighting. I remember feeling betrayed-how I believed he'd killed someone I cared about, yet…"

"You went there for revenge the last time. You wanted to destroy him, but you'd learned that she lied to you," Scott recounted the memory that had shaken him and implanted a sense of Logan's rage long after he'd experienced it. "You wanted vengeance because you thought he'd killed..."

"Kayla," Logan finished with a small nod feeling the memory surround him, "I remember her. It's vague, but there are bits and pieces of my time with her. She was special to me."

"You loved her," Scott reached out to touch the side of Logan's face tenderly, "and she betrayed you."

"She didn't have a choice," Logan's jaw tightened, flexing with the traces of memory upon him. "Stryker was pushing her buttons and…"

"He used your emotions against you. He played Victor against you and ultimately…" Scott paused watching Logan tense up before him.

"It was a long time ago," Logan breathed, his face twisting with strain, fighting to recall everything that had been coming to him in fragments in his mind. "Some things are best left in the past I suppose."

"I used to believe that as well, but not anymore. I know that's not how you feel either Logan. Together I'm starting to know who I am at last. Granted I don't know what's happening with these powers, but the more time goes on the more I realize I know where I began," Scott reached out to stroke Logan's face gently, "where we began."

"Scott," Logan forced himself to meet Scott's eyes again, sensing something brewing behind the surface.

"In madness and chaos that's where our story began," Scott whispered, his words echoing in Logan's mind, taking Logan back to see their first meeting played out before him. There were traces of it running through the surface, to the point where Logan felt the fury. He could sense the anger, the animosity, the betrayal and the rush of rage that swept over him until finally there was something else, something his subconscious had swept beneath the surface, tucked away from him forever.

"Scott," Logan spoke up feeling himself immersed in the memory standing there as an outsider watching the younger version of himself tearing open the holding cells where the other mutants had been held captive. In his haste, he'd overlooked something important, something that would change his life forever.

"I always thought that rescuing you and Rogue was the beginning for us," Scott's voice collided with Logan's thoughts, "but it was in this moment where we truly found each other."

Logan looked down to see Scott's fingers laced in his, the two of them watching the memory play out before them. Logan could see himself liberating the much younger, more frightened Scott, guiding Scott and the others to safety away from the experiments and chaos to freedom. It was in their escape that Logan found himself overtaken with the familiarity of Scott before Logan had gone on his journey to challenge Victor. Looking back he could see that there was always something shared between them, but now…

"How could I not know?" Logan questioned seeing the younger versions of themselves racing off to freedom, away from the now empty holding cells that surrounded them.

"We both had this stolen from us. They knew about it, yet they kept it from us. They refused to allow us to have this memory. Charles knew about this, yet he said nothing when you came to us here," Scott explained turning to face Logan fully.

In an instant the room morphed around them, transforming into something else, somewhere darker, more dangerous, cloaked in fear. Logan watched Scott's blue eyes widen with horror, felt Scott tense up beside him, a gasp carrying over Scott's lips. There was a metal chair across the room covered in blood. Logan's worried eyes fell upon it, seeing the needles and knives spread out on a tray. Logan could hear the sound of footsteps, the scent of danger in the air, bringing with it the promise of violence and torture before Scott pulled away from him severing the connection.

Logan blinked finding them back in Logan's bed with one another, far from the memory that Scott had just shared with him. Still remembering the final scene that had played out, Logan looked to Scott worriedly. "What just happened?"

"Nothing," Scott lied, turning his head away from Logan.

"Don't tell me that," Logan frowned, "Where were we just now?"

"I don't know," Scott bit down on his lower lip.

"Don't lie to me Scott," Logan cursed under his breath, "We were just inside your mind sharing a memory and…"

"That's not the memory that I wanted you to experience," Scott shivered beside Logan, "It shouldn't have come up-not now."

"But it did…" Logan frowned feeling a sudden invisible wall go up between them with Scott's retraction.

"You have your secrets you want to keep to yourself and I have mine Logan," Scott finally breathed, forcing himself to meet Logan's concerned eyes. "I'll share most anything with you, but that, well it's not something I want to experience again."

Logan opened his mouth preparing to say something more, but finally nodded, "Fair enough."

"Thank you," Scott settled into Logan's chest, snuggling in against him in a small embrace. "I'm sorry I took you to that moment."

"I only wish I could step inside and erase it for you like you tried to do for me," Logan replied squeezing Scott in his arms completely. "It's amazing what you think you can deal with when you're trying to figure everything out, but once you start to put the pieces together the big picture isn't as pleasant as you'd hoped it would be."

"Your past doesn't define the man that you are Logan," Scott offered up sensing Logan's thoughts returning to their earlier conversation about Victor. "It's who you've become that matters most."

"So you keep saying," Logan let out a small laugh, "and as long as I don't dub myself sexiest man alive, we're all good, right?"

"Logan," Scott wrinkled his nose at Logan, fighting to repress the laughter that threatened to steal the seriousness of the moment away from them, "you should know by now that I wouldn't be sleeping with you if I didn't think you were the sexiest man alive. I do, after all, have incredibly high standards."

"Now who is trying to stroke the other's ego?" Logan decided twisting Scott in his arms to pin Scott down on the mattress once again.

"Believe me I'd like to stroke more than your ego," Scott couldn't help, but tease with a hint of laughter in his tone.

"Now that's exactly what I want to hear," Logan dipped down to kiss Scott with a tiny snarl.

"I'll just bet you do, but in all seriousness Logan, what I said before…well, it's the truth," Scott met Logan's eyes solemnly. Reaching up to touch the stubble on the side of Logan's face, Scott spoke up tenderly, "Regardless of how much you hate my romantic overtures I'm not going to lie. You're the greatest love I've ever known Logan. I can't imagine my life without you. If nothing else rediscovering the past only reaffirms to me that we were meant to be."

"I just wish I'd realized it sooner Slim," Logan dipped down to kiss Scott tenderly, "If I'd known back then what kind of impact you'd make in my life, I would've fought like hell to remember you."

"Oh please," Scott couldn't help, but blush, "I wasn't even on your radar back then."

"Shows you what a fool I was," Logan nibbled on Scott's lower lip, "but I can honestly say with a clear conscience that the first moment you walked into the Professor's office and tried to shake my hand, I just knew that I wanted to get under your skin."

"That was obvious," Scott groaned outwardly remembering their earlier exchanges with one another, "and you did everything in your power to make it happen."

"My biggest regret was not seeing that I should've tried a more direct approach early on," Logan leaned forward to kiss Scott again, "we could've spared ourselves and everyone else a lot of heartbreak."

"I wasn't ready to face who I was when you arrived," Scott sighed thinking about the man he'd grown into being before Logan's arrival at the school. "I was living a lie until you forced me to be true to my heart."

"Well, what can I say?" Logan teased lightly, sensing the air of sentimentality in Scott's tone, "I guess I'm just good like that."

"You're better then good," Scott conceded wrapping his arms around Logan's shoulders eagerly, "You're the best there is…aside from me of course."

"Now you're getting it," Logan boasted diving in for another kiss knowing that things were finally finding a way to turn around for them after all.

XXXXX


	4. Chapter 4

"Tonight I want you all to read the conclusion to Les Misérables," Scott announced closing the book on his desk. He looked across the classroom from behind his glasses realizing that half the students appeared to be less than enthralled by the assignment. A few of them groaned, while others looked simply bored out of their mind, "Oh come on. It's a classic and one that I think we can all take something from Jean Valjean's plight."

"Yeah a nap," one of the students chortled with amusement.

"Only if you're planning on learning through the process of osmosis," Scott frowned with heavy disapproval, "We're going to be having a pop quiz tomorrow on it, so I strongly suggest everyone brush up on the reading."

"A pop quiz?" one of the girls spoke up from her seat near the left of the classroom, "A pop quiz would imply that we don't know about it, but by you telling us in advance…"

"I'm feeling generous," Scott circled around his desk, unable to ignore the headache that had been driving him crazy all morning. He brought his hand up to the side of his face wanting nothing more then to take the ruby quartz glasses off. The day had been beautiful when he'd awakened, one to truly appreciate in every way imaginable. It was something he would've savored for all it's warmth and charm, but given the lengths he'd gone to hide his secret, he knew he would be forced to deny himself the pleasure. That mixed with the nagging worry over Logan's nightmare had him tense. He was wound up tightly and not even a night of great sex with Logan could change that.

"I'll say," another student quipped.

"Guess Logan drilling it to him caused him to lose that stick that was up his…" Scott heard a muted voice echo in his mind.

Immediately bristling at the comment, Scott's eyes wandered over the student's faces with a frown.

"Who said that?" Scott questioned with a glare behind his glasses.

"Said what?" Marie questioned looking up from her book.

"You know what you said," Scott's frown intensified.

"No one said anything," another student announced as Scott's headache began to pulsate in his temple more with each passing second.

"What?" another questioned.

"Just make sure you read the novel," Scott sank back into his chair, doing his best to try to banish the throbbing ache inside of him. He heard the sound of the clock alerting that class was over. Students began to pile out of the classroom, chatting eagerly with one another over their plans for the day. It seemed life hadn't changed. The cycle continued in it's own way, constantly moving as it had been before Scott had disappeared from the school.

"Are you alright?" Marie questioned approaching Scott tentatively. He raised his head up to see the worry crease in her brow.

"I'm fine," Scott lied behind gritted teeth, doing his best to keep his tension to himself. He sat up straighter in his seat before smiling at her, "I guess I'm just a little bit rusty with my abilities to charm a room."

"You weren't ever really able to charm a room," Marie confessed sheepishly, her cheeks curling upward in a teasing smirk, "Most of the class just thought you were cute."

"Cute," Scott leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms back over his head with laughter, "is that what my appeal was?"

"That and that you were unavailable," Marie nodded in confession, "those are always two elements to drive young hearts aflutter."

"Young hearts," Scott couldn't help but laugh, "as opposed to an old soul like yours?"

"Ah, I think you're cute enough, but you know Logan's more my type," Marie waved her hand dismissively, "At least he was when I was a kid."

"You're not that old Marie," Scott sat up straighter seeing a sadness behind her eyes.

"I feel like it sometimes," she admitted with a heavy sigh, "I've done more living then most people my age have and…"

"And what?" Scott watched her words taper off.

"I just wonder sometimes if…" she paused biting down on her lower lip nervously.

"If what?" he questioned seeing her close herself off from the moment.

"If maybe things would've been different with life on the other side," she finally blurted out, finding the courage to meet his eyes again. "When I thought there was a cure, I was ready to take the leap. I wanted to be able to be free, to never have to worry again about almost killing someone. I thought it was the answer, but…"

"Running away never truly provides an escape," Scott noted catching the expression on her face, "only more complications."

"Is that how you felt?" she asked timidly. "When you were away did you feel like life was more complicated?"

"It didn't feel like it was mine any longer," Scott divulged candidly, "Nothing about where I was seemed like it was my life any longer."

"Until Logan found you," Marie noted with the beginnings of a smile.

"Something like that," Scott nodded in confession thinking about Logan's presence in his life. Having Logan find him had changed everything, but now that they were back in the middle of school so much was still changing with everyone else, "but I really don't want to go around shouting it from the rooftops considering that…"

"You and Logan are keeping a low profile for now," Marie added quickly with a knowing smirk, "Yeah, I kind of figured as much."

"It's not so much about having a low profile, but rather keeping certain things personal," Scott sighed drawing in a breath as his headache began to ease up ever so slightly.

"Understood," Marie pretended to zip her lips.

"Look," Scott started shifting on his chair when he thought to her questioning, "I heard rumors about what happened with you and…"

"Their so-called cure," Marie let out an ironic laugh, "I thought it was going to be the answer to my prayers, but I was wrong. I've had longer naps over what I experienced in their 'freedom'. I guess I'd just hoped for more, but when it came down to it, I had to face the fact that I am who I am. As hard as it was to come to terms with that, it's who I was meant to be."

"Accepting who you are is tough especially when you don't understand it, but at the same time," Scott paused thinking about the weight of their conversation, "there's no greater power in knowing what you are and embracing it."

"Power," she repeated with a small laugh, "yeah, well some have mutations that they might appreciate that sentiment, but with mine, well, as much as I'd like to say those few weeks weren't special to me, the truth is that I savored every single second of them. I always feared it wouldn't last, but in that time when I was 'normal' I experienced a lifetime full of memories that won't ever leave me. Even if I did it for all the wrong reasons, I can't ever forget how wonderful that was. Of course as you said freedom always comes at a price."

"Unfortunately that happens more often, then not," Scott sighed heavily thinking about the dreams he had carried in the past when he had once been wishing his mutation away. Thinking about the level of severity of Marie's mutation, he was overtaken with guilt at how much he'd condemned his own mutation through the years. Yes, it had been something he'd adjusted to, but he'd still been lost in self-loathing. Marie, on the other hand, seemed to come to terms with things, even in her sadness and it gave Scott all the more reason to vow to keep his altered mutations a secret. The last thing he wanted to do was rub it in to someone like Marie, who had been once hoping for her own 'miracle'.

"I've talked your ear off enough already," Marie waved her hand in the air dismissively. "I'm sure you have plenty of things to do since it's just your first week back in the classroom. With therapy ending and…"

"I don't mind the conversation," Scott smiled at her warmly, "Hell, I welcome it after the last few months I've had. It shows me that people don't think I'm unapproachable like they did before."

"They didn't think you were unapproachable," Marie opened her mouth in protest.

"I heard their whispers," Scott tipped his head to the side, "I know what they were saying about me when I lost Jean or even before that when I was running things around here."

"People have a tendency to balk at authority figures," she shrugged her shoulders, "It's just the way things are."

"Balking I can take," Scott confessed nervously, "but the name calling and whispers…"

"Weren't meant for your ears," she added quickly, "Besides, the longer you're here, the more I think people are going to see that you've changed."

"What do you mean?" Scott questioned defensively. He sat up straighter wondering if he'd given himself away in the moment of conversation.

"I mean you're just more relaxed," Marie waved her hand around in the air quickly, "I didn't mean anything by it other then you seem less guarded and more social. Before it was like all you had on your mind was business as usual, putting together the team and running things. Quite frankly you were sort of lacking in the personality department. No offense, but now, well now you seem more relaxed, more comfortable in your own skin."

"I'm far from it sometimes, but like we discussed, I'm learning to accept who I am and what that means for my future," Scott revealed in reflection, knowing only too well that life was certainly different since his return. No more was he burdened by the fear of the world falling apart without him being perfect. He'd spent most of his life in control, on the top of his game and putting everyone else before himself, but now, well now he was trying to take the time to smell the roses. He was branching out to open his heart to the possibilities of what was out there in the world that surrounded him. Yes, he was always trying to keep the reigns of control, but just not as tightly given the changes in his life. He was finally in a place where things, aside from the confusion over his powers, felt right. With Logan he'd found the peace he'd been missing out on in his life.

"Logan's been a good influence on you," Marie decided, her grin expanded as she turned to leave. She paused glancing over her shoulder with a teasing wink, "and for what it's worth, I happen to think you and Logan are great together."

"Thanks," Scott answered sheepishly, "and Marie?"

"Yes?" she turned around to face him again.

"Look, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate you stepping in to help me with class," Scott smiled genuinely, "you're undoubtedly the best teacher's assistant I've had in a very long time."

"I remember what it was like being on the other side of things," she motioned to the desk chairs behind her. "It's a bit intimidating to be the new one in the classroom. Even though you aren't new, I know it's been a while and a little help can go a long way."

"I appreciate it," Scott smiled back at her, watching her exit before he sank back into his chair.

Rubbing the side of his head he thought about the changes that had taken place in his absence. He closed his eyes and took in the moment of silence. There was a time when he would've believed that everything would crumble around him if he hadn't been there to pull everything together. He'd imagined that if he slipped up even once that chaos would follow. The world would simply fall to pieces, yet without him they had thrived. The school continued to bring new hope to young mutants and…

"Scott," he heard a voice beckon him through his thoughts.

"Jean?" he questioned snapping out of his daze to look around the room. He sat up straighter in his chair, his head spinning from the sound he'd thought he'd heard. Looking around the room he realized that he was alone, that he'd been alone since Marie's retreat, yet something felt different in the room surrounding him.

Standing up Scott started to pull at his tie, adjusting the collar when a warmth spiraled over his senses, penetrating his muscles and guiding him towards the classroom door. He stood frozen, unable to explain the feeling that had overwhelmed him, yet when his feet started moving, he found himself overtaken by a new instinct, by an invisible force pulling him away from the classroom to take him somewhere he hadn't anticipated visiting ever again.

XXXXX

Logan sat on the sofa in the corner of the game room with the adamantium rock in his hands pondering just how much of it was out there. While Bert had been vague and evasive in his answers, Logan couldn't help, but wonder what new monsters were waiting and ready to strike in using the material to create chaos. Knowing Stryker's purpose in seeking it out, Logan couldn't help, but be worried about what Victor might consider doing. Still in knowing that he couldn't change things just yet, Logan leaned back, legs stretched up on the coffee table while enjoying a few minutes of silence. While he'd planned on getting a jump start on the day, hoping to look into a few things with the team about trying to locate Victor, he'd opted instead to take a little time to himself. Even though he'd said he was alright in the morning when Scott had left for class, deep down he knew that he wasn't. He couldn't be fine knowing that Victor was still out there waiting for the right moment to strike. That in itself left Logan feeling very unsettled as he reached into his pocket pulling out a cigar. Looking around the room, he contemplated not lighting it considering the wrath he might endure from Charles. However, not one to be guided by his fears, Logan settled into the couch further opting to light it after all. With the first puff Logan felt the sweet taste of fulfillment carrying over him in his silent indulgence.

"So what if it isn't allowed?" he could hear his voice encouraging him when he looked across the room to the pinball machine set up a short distance away from the pool table. "Since when have you let that stop you?"

Closing his eyes Logan thought back to the last time he was in this very room, to the one moment when he'd entered into the forbidden with the one man he was never able to forget. Now settling in further on the couch, Logan allowed the memory to linger taking him back to the beginnings he shared with Scott.

_"I'm not in the mood to play games Logan," Scott had protested, practically digging his heels into the flooring at being dragged into the room. "You know as well as I do that I have a lot of work to do and…"_

_"Your work will still be waiting when we're finished in here," Logan had nudged Scott into the room, guiding him over towards the pool table, "Besides we both know you've been slacking on it more often than not lately."_

_"Don't start," Scott issued him a small glare._

_"Lighten up Summers," Logan had taunted with a brief once over, unable to believe that Scott was so uptight about simply learning to relax and enjoy himself, "the world isn't going to fall to pieces if you give up on hating yourself long enough to enjoy the simpler things in life."_

_"Fine," Scott folded his arms in front of his chest, "then let's go for a few rounds in the Danger Room. I think I'm up for that and…"_

_"As tempting as that sounds," Logan's ravenous eyes gave Scott a long once over, "let's try something small tonight. You could afford to give yourself a break."_

_"Logan," Scott's lip curled in protest, preparing to issue another disapproving complaint._

_"Hey," Logan threw his hands up in the air, "you were the one who was hoping we'd give this a try at something real."_

_"This wasn't exactly what I was…" Scott opened his mouth to say something more before finally giving up and settling into their environment, "fine, what do you want to play?"_

_"That's a loaded question," Logan smirked, his eyes taking in Scott ravenously. Although it had only been a couple of days since their round of heavy kisses outside by the pool, Logan couldn't help, but find himself increasingly eager to push things to the next level-to get back to the beginnings that he and Scott had entered into before Jean's death. Now that he was aware that Scott readily felt it too, Logan had been guided by lust, ready to do everything in his power to shed Scott of his composed demeanor in order to reveal the wild, wanton man beneath the surface who was every bit as hot for Logan as Logan was for him._

_"I meant the game," Scott wrinkled his nose, causing his glasses to shift ever so slightly on his face, "What one interests you?"_

_"How good are you at cards?" Logan questioned thinking about how a nice round of strip poker would do wonders in having Logan shed Scott of his neatly pressed slacks and blue pinstriped button down shirt. Yes, that would be a plan indeed given that Logan was a master poker player. It would certainly make things interesting and…_

_"I'm not in the mood for cards," Scott shot down Logan's suggestion. Turning his back to Logan, Scott let out a long sigh, "or really much else."_

_"That's because you've spent too much time being a buzz kill," Logan scowled realizing that this was going to prove to be an increasingly difficult task in seducing Scott given how hot and cold the leader of the X-Men was turning out to be. Still with his gaze settled in on Scott's firm, muscled bottom, Logan knew full well he wasn't one to back down from a challenge. "Live a little."_

_"Logan, I already told you that…" Scott finally turned around to face Logan fully._

_"I know Slim," Logan took the initiative to step forward, bringing about an end to the distance between them. His eyes beckoned Scott's attempting to tempt him with an enticing taunt, "you haven't allowed yourself the time to live a little, so it's up to me to fill in the blanks in your life."_

_"I've lived a very rich, rewarding life," Scott curled his lip in offense, "I've seen a great many things and…"_

_"That's great, but let's see how good you are at pool," Logan stretched his arm out behind Scott, reaching for the cue sticks on the wall. His arm brushed up against Scott's side, feeling Scott shiver at the faintest of contact. Instantly lust spiraled into the air, springing to life the encouragement Logan needed with Scott's want intoxicating his senses._

_"Better then you think," Scott stood up straighter, clearing his throat and reaching for the cue stick. His face twisted in determination before the beginnings of a smirk carried over his features, "I've been known to have a bit of a reputation in this arena."_

_"Ah, so I'm dealing with a hustler," Logan winked at him suggestively, "and here I thought you always played things by the book all straight and narrow."_

_"On the contrary, I'm just one hell of a mathematician," Scott explained in a casual shrug, turning his focus to the table beside them._

_"In that case let's rack it up," Logan decided ready to see what Scott was made of when they began their first game with one another._

Now unable to hold back on the smile that overtook him, Logan looked to the pool table again thinking about how Scott had talked of trajectories and angles to the point of Logan simply drowning him out in order to focus on Scott's more desirable assets, namely that beautiful body of his that Logan found himself more eager to discover. Closing his eyes again Logan returned to the conclusion of their game when he'd purposely allowed Scott to win.

_"So as you can see knowing your agenda and having a game plan is really the best course of action when…," Scott had started to boast, preparing to set his cue stick down when Logan stepped in behind him._

_"No one likes a know it all Summers," Logan's arms wrapped around Scott's body, hands pressing down flat on the side of the pool table to cage Scott in front of him._

_"I'm not a know it all. I'm just merely stating what math and science dictate along with a little logic that…" Scott's words were brought to a halt when Logan eased one hand up over the cue stick, wrapping it up with his fist over Scott's hand. Scott gulped, a breath catching in his throat when Logan's fingers squeezed in over his. Logan smirked casually urging Scott to loosen his grip over the length of the stick, lowering it in an intimate press mimicking the things Logan would prefer to be doing to Scott in the moment. The slow, tentative movement of their fingers together gliding downward in a subtle brush before rising upward again over the stick in a blatantly sexual fashion did the trick. Logan felt Scott tense up in front of him, breath growing uneven when Scott spoke up nervously, "What are you doing?"_

_"What do you think?" Logan questioned repeating the movement. Knowing only too well that Scott was uncomfortable heightened the moment, bringing a rush of forbidden thrill to Logan when he noticed the color rising on Scott's features. Seeing Scott hot under the collar was always a turn on, but now with Scott's fingers pressed up against his, silently complying to Logan's instructive movement, Logan couldn't help, but feel a charge of electricity press in over him. Logan's thumb brushed up against the underside of Scott's palm in a possessive sweep causing Scott to take a small, agonized breath._

_"I think it's time for us to finish the game," Scott decided releasing the cue stick with a jolt. It tumbled forward nearly colliding with the top of the pool table when Scott detangled himself from Logan's arms, "How about a game of pinball? I used to be pretty good at that once upon a time."_

_"Pinball," Logan repeated with a frown suddenly feeling as if Scott was putting up another wall between them. Although Scott had admitted to having feelings for Logan and wanting to explore them, Logan could still feel the lingering guilt over Jean's death preventing Scott from letting loose. Now Scott used it as a roadblock to any progress that either one of them would take with one another. Sure, Scott hadn't said it, but it was in the air between them, hanging like a dark cloud with Scott's bristling refusal to fall into the moment with Logan._

_"It's actually a fun game," Scott started to ramble nervously, "when I was younger I used to spend a lot of time playing the game, trying to beat my top score and…"_

_"What was your top score?" Logan questioned in an attempt to placate Scott for the time being._

_"Pretty high although Jean was always able to beat me every time," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "She didn't even try to show mercy on me. She simply wanted to engage in a challenge, to let me know what she was capable of…"_

_"And I'm sure her telekinetic powers didn't at all influence the outcome of the game, right?" Logan couldn't help, but roll his eyes at Scott's mentioning Jean to put up another brick wall._

_"She wouldn't do that," Scott frowned, turning around to face Logan fully._

_"How do you know?" Logan questioned raising a curious brow._

_"Because that wasn't who she was," Scott mouthed defensively indicating that Logan had clearly pushed the wrong button inside of him, "She wasn't a cheater."_

_"No," Logan finally conceded wondering if Scott was still referencing the game or something deeper when Logan thought to his and Jean's flirtations with one another, "I suppose she wasn't although from what you're saying it doesn't exactly sound like she was eager to have you winning."_

_"She knew that I liked to be challenged, to be pushed to my limits," Scott shrugged, raising his chin to meet Logan's eyes behind the glasses before he turned his back to Logan. "She knew that I didn't want the world to take pity on me for my condition."_

_"Pity," Logan repeated with a hint of laughter in his tone, "Scott, the things that you can do are amazing. To think what you are capable of…"_

_"So much destruction and pain," Scott sighed placing his hands out on top of the pinball machine thinking about all the things he'd fought to avoid in his time with the X-Men. "When I think of how I tried to control it, how I tried to keep it in check until Stryker manipulated me-when I think of how out of control I was when I attacked Jeanie…"_

_"Scott," Logan couldn't help, but frown at the mention of the man who had tortured Logan in ways Logan still couldn't process. Stepping forward, Logan moved in closer to Scott, wanting to alleviate Scott's concerns, "Jean knew that it wasn't you when you did those things."_

_"I pride myself on being in control Logan," Scott sighed heavily, "on doing everything in my power to protect those I love even if it means great personal sacrifice. When I was there at the compound I should've been stronger, I should've found a way to fight it and…"_

_"It wouldn't have mattered," Logan sighed knowing only too well how many times he'd been down the same road Scott was on, "It wouldn't have made a difference considering that Stryker was calling the shots."_

_"I vowed that I'd never be like that again Logan-that someone couldn't steal my control away from me and…" Scott's words tapered off._

_"Jean didn't hold it against you," Logan spoke up soothingly, "No one here did."_

_"Even so the very idea of losing control again terrifies me," Scott finally conceded finding the courage to turn around and face Logan fully. His face was still flushed, lips curving downward as he leaned up against the pinball machine, "it's exactly how I feel when I'm with you Logan."_

_"With me?" Logan questioned with surprise._

_Scott nodded, biting down on his lower lip nervously, "When I'm with you I feel completely out of control, unable to show any kind of restraint and…"_

_"You've done a hell of a job convincing me otherwise lately Summers," Logan stretched his hand up, touching the side of Scott's face gently. Scott shivered upon the contact, opting to lean into Logan's touch with a shivering exhale._

_"It's because I've been good at pretending, at denying myself what I want," Scott admitted painfully, his words raw and broken in the moment, "I've spent years trying to be what the world expected of me, to learn to live in self-sacrifice, but when I'm with you that all changes."_

_"How so?" Logan couldn't help, but ask while sliding his fingers into Scott's dark, neatly combed hair._

_"For starters I start thinking about things, doing things that I normally wouldn't-that I know I shouldn't," Scott's words fell to a muted whisper, "I start fantasizing about letting go of the control and…"_

_"And what?" Logan prodded him further._

_"Giving in to temptation," Scott answered painfully, his chest rising and falling with a desperate breath. His arms fell behind him, hands pressing on top of the pinball machine in an effort to refrain from reaching out to seize Logan in his arms. He was trying to keep a hold on the restraint, to do what he perceived to be the safe thing in gripping the top of the pinball machine, but Logan wasn't in the mood to play it safe. Certainly not after months of waiting for something more to happen between them. Yes, maybe Logan had grudgingly accepted their boundaries with one another after they'd experienced a few encounters that Scott wasn't ready to face fully, instead opting to bury his desire for Scott in flirtations with Jean, but now that there was no longer a reason to pretend, Logan couldn't hold back any longer._

_"There's nothing wrong with giving in," Logan slurred, leaning in closer to Scott, their lips a breath of a whisper apart now that Scott remained firm beside him, curiosity surrounding him in the moment._

_"There are always consequences to letting go," Scott's words caused him to tremble, to reveal the trepidation he'd carried with him over the years._

_"Not this time," Logan promised dipping down to steal a slow, languorous kiss from Scott's lips. At first he felt resistance, a simple involuntary hesitation to the moment, but as Logan's mouth forced Scott's lips apart, coaxing the stoic leader of the X-Men to release his inhibitions long enough to enjoy the simple pleasures kissing could provide, Logan felt himself rewarded by a small victory. Scott half whimpered, half moaned when their tongues crashed and collided with one another, stirring up erotic sensations from within._

_Kissing Scott harder, Logan was pleasantly rewarded by Scott mimicking the movement, matching Logan's intensity with his teeth and tongue. Logan purred approvingly, wrapping his arms around Scott's muscled torso, savoring the feel of Scott's body pressed into his. There was no mistaking the longing and desire that surrounded them, no escaping the scent of lust that radiated off of Scott's heated skin. It matched Logan's own hunger, setting Logan's senses ablaze when Scott scratched lightly over Logan's shoulders._

_"You're beautiful Summers," Logan slurred feeling their mouths part in a moment of breathless anticipation. Logan dragged his thumb over Scott's bottom lip, savoring the tiny ripple of impulses that guided Scott to tremble beneath his touch._

_"Really?" Scott questioned with surprise in his voice._

_Logan nodded encouragingly, "I've never wanted anyone like I want you. That in itself should say something."_

_"It does," Scott blushed, "I mean…"_

_"Don't over think this because you'll spoil it if you do," Logan instructed leaning in to kiss Scott ravenously. He stepped forward, hips sliding in an involuntary thrust to pin Scott against the pinball machine without hesitation. Scott whimpered, arms surrounding Logan's shoulders, fingers clawing at Logan's back to draw him nearer, yet when the sound of the pinball machine bounced beneath them it succeeded in tearing them from the moment._

_"The game," Scott gasped snapping out of the lust induced haze long enough to stiffen beneath Logan. His features shifted in an attempt to regain focus and clarity, but Logan knew full well the last thing he would be able to concentrate on was a game with Scott so readily available to him._

_"Scott," Logan opened his mouth in protest, preparing to toss out another flowery line to recapture Scott's attention, but it was no use when Scott turned around to focus on the machine in front of him._

_"You're going to enjoy this," Scott cleared his throat in an attempt to be casual. He placed his fingers on the buttons, beginning a round of sending the ball bouncing within the walls of the machine before him. He tipped his head down, pretending that the game was the most interesting thing in the room as Logan groaned outwardly._

_"I was rather enjoying you," Logan noted seeing Scott's trembling hands working frantically to keep focused on the game before him. Smiling to himself, Logan stepped forward, sliding his groin in against Scott's bottom, gyrating ever so slightly to show Scott what alternatives there were to playing it by the book._

_"Logan," Scott hissed, clearly effected by Logan's raging hard on brushed up against the small of his back. Scott's fingers stilled on the buttons, taking a moment of reprieve from the game when Logan's hands circled around his body, pressing firmly down on Scott's upper thighs in a possessive grasp._

_"Don't tell me that you really want to ignore this," Logan slurred dipping in to kiss the side of Scott's neck._

_"Logan, it's just…" Scott bit down on his lip, teeth sinking into his lip, gnawing at the nervous flesh._

_"We can't keep carrying on like this isn't happening with us Scott. We both know that it's something we've both been sweeping underneath the carpet for a while now. Pretending it isn't happening doesn't make it any less real," Logan continued as his tongue flicked over Scott's skin, teeth grazing at Scott's earlobe when Logan moved one hand over the center of Scott's muscular chest. He eased one finger underneath Scott's shirt between the buttons feeling a modest, cotton t-shirt against his touch and he laughed lightly, "Leave it to you to dress in layers."_

_"I happen to like my t-shirts. They're comfortable and they were a gift from Jean that…" Scott curled his lip in protest all the while bringing up the woman that Logan was hoping they could leave out of the night between them._

_"Comfortable or not, it has to go," Logan decided removing his hand long enough to make a decision. He felt Scott stiffen before him, knowing Scott was hesitant, but that realization only further served to propel Logan into the lead for their seduction. In a flash, Logan's claws revealed themselves, pressing in over the front of Scott's button down shirt. He flicked his wrist, tearing the buttons off of the shirt before using his other hand to slash the tattered fabric off of Scott's body. Scott silently complied to the movement, dropping his arms down to his side to assist Logan. Once Logan had finished disposing of Scott's button down shirt, the t-shirt soon followed. It shredded easier then the pinstriped shirt had, it's prissy white fabric dropping to the ground around both men, pooling at Scott's feet in the moment._

_"Logan," Scott spoke his name heatedly, his breath forced and labored when Logan's claws retracted. Logan kissed Scott's shoulder, tongue tasting the raw, primitive heat of Scott's smooth skin free to be his at long last. Logan bit back on his reaction knowing it was all he could do to refrain from burying himself in Scott then and there. Summers was perfect in every way imaginable, tasting even better than Logan had anticipated in all the times he'd stolen glances or forbidden moments with the sexy, repressed leader of the X-Men. Now Logan's palms returned to Scott's chest, massaging and teasing Scott's excited skin until Logan's fingertips danced over Scott's abdomen, dropping down to the top of Scott's slacks in silent contemplation._

_"Wait," Scott's fingers pressed over the top Logan's hand, coaxing him to stop from following through on his mission to see how far he could test the limits with Scott._

_"What?" Logan growled, biting down on Scott's shoulder again, his inner beast wanting to imprint himself over his new would be lover in every way imaginable._

_"Logan I've…," Scott's words tapered off, embarrassment surrounding Logan in the moment when Scott lowered his head shamefully, "I've never…I've never done this before…"_

_Scott's face grew an even deeper shade of crimson, his fingers still squeezing Logan's hand tighter to prevent Logan from seeking out the prize inside of Scott's trousers. There was a nervousness in the air, a thick, unsettling emotion radiating from Scott when he spoke up again anxiously._

_"With…with a man I mean," Scott gulped down in a small voice, so soft that if Logan hadn't been standing behind him, he wouldn't have heard it._

_"No shit," Logan could feel himself ready to toss out at Scott flippantly, but fearing it would turn Scott away and spoil the progress they'd made with one another, he tried a different approach, "It's okay. I knew what you meant."_

_"Even so aside from that time before when we almost…," Scott bit down on his lower lip once again fighting his words, "I'm not sure that…"_

_"How many lovers have you had Scott?" Logan couldn't help, but ask with curiosity overtaking him in the moment._

_Scott fell to silence again, refusing to settle into an answer for Logan._

_"Just Jean?" Logan questioned already knowing the answer before Scott could give it to him. The truth radiated in Scott's hesitance, in his awkward disposition, giving way to the moment when Logan thought of how he'd wanted nothing more than to pound into Scott, bending him over the top of the pinball machine Scott loved so very much to have his way with him completely. Still in realizing what offering himself to Logan would mean for Scott, Logan softened his approach._

_"Jean and I were together for a very long time. We were both very young and…" Scott's blush intensified, his words shaky and uncertain._

_"It doesn't matter," Logan replied, bringing his arm around Scott's waist, squeezing Scott back in against his chest and smiling inwardly. "It just shows me how perfect you truly are."_

_"Oh please," Scott rolled his eyes behind his glasses. Forcing himself to turn around and face Logan completely, he spoke up in a nervous breath, "I'm sure there's some kind of teasing barb you're just eager to toss out at me. I know you."_

_"Then you should realize that I'm not out to humiliate you Scott especially when all I want is to be with you," Logan decided earnestly, moving forward to collect a kiss from Scott's tempting mouth, "If it means taking things slow, then so be it. I'm not going to lie and say that I'm one for slow, but…"_

_"That's just it Logan," Scott mouthed desperately, his arms surrounding Logan in the moment, "I don't want to take this slow. We've wasted too much time already and knowing that it can be stolen from us at any time…"_

_"Are you…?" Logan half questioned searching Scott's features once again. He could feel the hunger radiating over Scott's body, the desire eating away at Logan's half hearted attempt at restraint, lending itself to the moment when Logan anticipated all the ways he'd wanted to claim Scott again and again as his._

_"I just wanted you to know in case you didn't see it before that I wasn't exactly an expert at this right now," Scott answered sheepishly, his words a bit more determined then they'd been earlier, "I know I pride myself on being on top of my game-on knowing everything there is to know about something I enter into, but…"_

_"Trust me Summers," Logan collected Scott in his arms completely, "by the time we're through you'll be well beyond expert status. That much I can promise you."_

Now returning to the moment, Logan shifted uncomfortably on the couch knowing only too well that night had sparked a new beginning for him and Scott. While they hadn't thrown caution to the wind and made love in the game room, it had given Logan enough encouragement to warm Scott up to the possibility of what was to come for them. Their night had began with an erotic dance followed up with the promise of pleasure in Logan's bedroom. Still finding himself overtaken by the memory, Logan decided now would be a good time to seek out Scott and perhaps explore that trip down memory lane with one another. However, as Logan rose to his feet he found that fate had other plans for him.

"Logan," Storm pulled him from the memory, to the reality that there was more happening at the school beyond Scott and Logan's relationship, "I've been looking all over for you."

"Something wrong?" Logan asked impatiently all the while doing his best to regain some kind of focus.

"Sort of," Storm nodded in confession, "have you seen Scott?"

"Not since this morning," Logan shrugged his shoulders, "He had class this morning and…"

"A training session in the Danger Room," she finished impatiently, "but he never showed up."

"What do you mean never showed up?" Logan frowned thinking about Scott's return to life at the school.

"He's not there," Storm stressed her words for impact, "He's over half hour late and the students are getting impatient."

"I'm sure he's on his way," Logan frowned moving past her to the doorway, "Let's just go down there and see what's happening. I'm sure there's a logical explanation for…"

"The last time this happened it was anything, but logical," Storm mouthed in a tentative breath.

"Maybe he simply has first week jitters," Logan suggested knowing that Scott was still adjusting to the return to the school. Still with worry bristling over his senses, Logan and Storm started to return to the students in the Danger Room while he hoped like hell they would discover that Scott had simply lost track of time in something else. That had to be all it was, Logan reasoned silently knowing full well that none of them could afford a repeat of what happened the last time Scott's world came crashing down around them.

XXXXX


	5. Chapter 5

Shivers radiated through Scott's body, sending bristling sensations over his skin now that he stood outside the old bedroom he once shared with Jean. While he hadn't been inside since his departure that morning she'd called to him to the lake, there was something pulling him back in. It was haunting him, reverberating in his brain with the phantom sound of her voice. While he was certain he couldn't have heard her, he felt her inside of him, seeking him out from within. She was beckoning him, bringing him back to the one place he'd vowed to avoid in his return.

"Scott," her voice echoed in his mind, desperate and needy as he looked around the hallway. A chill crept in over him, carrying goose bumps over the back of his neck with the sensation her memory awakened in him.

"Jean?" he questioned again, feeling a ripple of a breeze carry over him, guiding him forward to reach for the doorknob. His fingers shook, palm trembling with fear over what was still inside. It was a representation of all they'd lost, a memory that he'd fought to avoid after their reunion on the water, yet in thinking about the man he was before he'd left the school, he couldn't turn away from it. He couldn't overlook the tortured history that had lead to the changes in his life. She had taken everything from him, changed him, turned him away from the life he'd fought like hell to hold onto. It was something that had altered everything, yet with the memory of their life together a few footsteps away, Scott knew he had to face it. He had to confront the past and allow himself to truly let go.

Thinking back to the last time he had a vision of Jean, Scott was overtaken by a new sensation in the pit of his stomach. When Victor had him captive, ready to tear Scott to pieces, Jean had entered into his mind, becoming a part of his dream when she'd offered him forgiveness. She'd told him it was time to let go, to move forward, yet she'd spun things around, confusing him with her pleas for forgiveness, for her broken request that…

"You can do this," Scott mouthed to himself, seizing the door tighter within his grasp. It was silly not to be able to brave the past and finally take the step towards moving forward, he thought to himself. He should be able to finally free himself from the nightmare that he'd been surrounded by after her sacrifice. Time and time again he'd told himself that he'd made peace with his ending with Jean, with what had happened between them, yet in the back of his mind he knew there was still a part of him that was afraid, ashamed of what he had done to hurt her.

"You failed her," the old familiar voice of conscience had taunted him more times then he'd cared to admit over and over again. It was always there pressing into him, making him wish he could've done things differently. Everyone said they didn't blame him for Jean's meltdown, but Scott blamed himself for what happened. Logan had tried to write off Jean's madness as a result of the crumbling wall that Charles had put up in her mind to suppress Phoenix, but Scott knew full well he had been the thing that had taken her over the edge. Closing his eyes he thought back to their time together.

_"I thought you'd be back here sooner," Jean looked up from the medical journal she'd been reading in their bed. She set it down on top of the blanket, placing it over her lap as she reached for her glasses. Pulling them off she set them on the nightstand before searching his features worriedly, "You were with Logan, weren't you?"_

_"I know I said I wouldn't, but I couldn't just stand by and not say anything," Scott had explained slamming the door shut behind his arrival in their bedroom. "The guy just finds new ways to get under my skin with each twist and turn."_

_"You shouldn't let him bother you like you do," Jean's lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl. "He's just as confused about things as we are. We're all on the same team Scott."_

_"It sure as hell doesn't feel that way when he's always hitting on my girl. His flirting is unwelcome and…," Scott's jealousy revealed itself in his tone. He began to unbutton the top of his shirt, making his way over to the closet before pouting further, "I don't like it."_

_"You're not supposed to like it," Jean set her medical journal aside on the nightstand, "but at the same time you're not supposed to let it consume you either Scott. Logan's just a flirt by nature."_

_"So let him flirt with someone else," Scott pushed his shirt off of his shoulders, tossing it across his closet defiantly. He groaned thinking about how he should give in to his anger and leave the rumpled shirt down on the bottom of the closet to linger as a sign of his trepidation over Logan's presence at the school. However, knowing it was completely childish and inappropriate, Scott moved forward bending down to pick up his shirt and fold it tightly. His nostrils flared, breath coming out in an uneven sweep when he stomped out of the closet to discard the shirt in the laundry bin._

_"What really has you so upset Scott?" Jean had questioned curiously, her dark auburn hair framing her face when she pushed the blankets away from her body. The movement revealed the silken negligee she'd been wearing, revealing her long legs to Scott in an obvious attempt at distracting him. "Logan's flirting or his insubordination where you're concerned?"_

_"He doesn't work well as a team member. He can't take an order and…" Scott threw his hands up in the air, seeing the amusement that carried over her in the moment, "You're amused by all of this, aren't you?"_

_"How can I not be?" she teased with the beginnings of laughter in her voice. "It's not every day I see someone get a rise out of the man I love."_

_"He hasn't created any kind of rise out of me," Scott pouted defiantly, turning his back to her. He marched back into their closet reaching for a modest, dark colored pajama set before undoing the loop on his belt._

_"Oh no of course not," Jean's voice grew nearer still, her words cloaked in amusement when Scott felt her step into the closet behind him. She draped her arms around his waist, her chin resting on his shoulder when she pressed a kiss over the side of his neck seductively, "and here I thought I was the only one who could get you so hot and bothered."_

_"I'm not hot and…" Scott had opened his mouth in protest, hoping to convey his annoyance with Logan, but instead he was surrounded by the feel of taking Jean in his arms, by the way it felt to hold her now that she'd worked to free him from the thoughts of Logan that had consumed him._

Letting out a gasp Scott released the doorknob refusing to go forward into the room when the memory that had awakened in his subconscious worked to betray that feeling of loyalty he'd felt to Jean. Yes, that night he'd come to the room upset and agitated about Logan, but he hadn't been truthful with her. He hadn't at all been up front about what had upset him, but when she'd provided him with an out, taking advantage of the moment, he had fallen into it. He'd made love to her, no questions asked despite the fury that he'd felt burning inside of him. That night she'd said he surprised her with his passion, impressed her with how he'd rechanneled his anger, but what she hadn't realized was the truth. Even then he'd been ashamed to reveal it to himself, let alone Jean. Now standing in the middle of the hallway, he found himself hit by another memory from earlier in that evening.

_"You completely disregarded a direct order Logan," Scott snapped following Logan into the changing room. Although Jean had urged Scott earlier to let it go, to get over the notion that Logan's insubordination mattered in the grand scheme of things, Scott knew he wouldn't be able to simply ignore Logan's attitude. "I told you going in there that we needed to work together as a team. I specifically told you that if we were going to do this…"_

_"Everything worked out, didn't it?" Logan shrugged his shoulders, opting to be casual about the latest mission they'd gone on as a team. "Like everything that happened before when we were working together, it all sorted itself out."_

_"No thanks to you," Scott huffed impatiently, folding his arms in front of his chest, "Someone could've gotten hurt. When we don't follow protocol someone dies Logan. Maybe you're okay with that, but I'm not. I care about my team and…"_

_"Hey the way I see it, there was no harm, no foul," Logan remarked dismissively, "I mean if you think about it the last time we went out as a team, I took most of the brunt of the damages."_

_"Even so I don't want to have to lose any of my team members," Scott grumbled with a shake of his head, his eyes hidden behind his glasses now that Logan walked over to the locker, keeping his back to Scott._

_"Aww, I didn't know you were growing sweet on me Slim," Logan teased turning over his shoulder to offer up a playful wink. He laughed mockingly, his lips curving in the beginnings of an air kiss before he shook his head, "I think I'm touched."_

_"Don't be," Scott felt his face grow red with embarrassment over the way that Logan was mocking him, "because when I give a direct order, I expect you to follow it. That's what keeps us safe. That's what gives us the opportunity to live to fight another day."_

_"It's also what makes you a complete and total tight ass," Logan rolled his eyes in response, "All your constant bitching makes you no fun Cyclops. Then again I can see why Jean would go out of her way for a little excitement given the stick you have wedged up your…"_

_"Listen you," Scott had given in to his emotions, allowed the anger to penetrate his otherwise unyielding wall of control when he rushed forward to slam his fists into Logan's back._

_Logan hadn't been expecting it when Scott's fist impacted his body. It sent Logan face forward into the locker in the middle of changing. Now with a snarl Logan stood up straighter, turning around to glare at Scott with wild, feral eyes. His uniform was unzipped down over his chest, just beyond the middle of his abdomen to reveal his heaving chest. Anger surged through the room, their eyes connecting in an unspoken battle. Logan snarled involuntarily, enough to indicate to Scott that he'd pushed the wrong button._

_"No you listen," Logan snapped, lunging forward and seizing Scott in his grasp. In an instant, Logan shoved Scott across the room, moving with him until Scott was pressed into the lockers. Logan's eyes penetrated Scott, wild with fury when he grabbed Scott's collar in warning, "Don't presume just because you were given the role of fearless leader to the others that you have any say on what I do or don't do. You aren't the one calling the shots as far as I'm concerned Summers, so learn that you won't be given my unyielding compliance. I do what I do and if you don't like it, tough."_

_"It doesn't work that way Logan," Scott spat up at him, bringing his arms up to tear Logan's hands away from his collar. He shoved Logan again with a huff, "I don't work that way and if you want to be a part of this team, then…"_

_"Who said I wanted to be a part of your stupid team?" Logan rolled his eyes and started to turn away from Scott. "It's not my thing especially with you as their leader."_

_"Of course it isn't because it would require commitment and dedication to something greater than yourself," Scott taunted, still shaken by Logan's earlier hold on him. Now standing against the lockers watching Logan peel the uniform off of his shoulders, down over his arms, Scott couldn't help, but feel a bit hot under the collar._

_"That's right," Logan groaned outwardly. He threw his hands up in the air and turned around to face Scott fully, "it's been a few hours without your condescending, holier than thou speech about the greater good, so obviously it's my time for another headache. Tell me something, does it ever get exhausting being such a pompous ass? Does anyone actually ever give a shit about your idealism Summers or are they merely pretending to care to shut you up given how full of yourself you are?"_

_"Everything I do, I do it for the team," Scott continued in an impassioned tone, "Every sacrifice I've made…"_

_"You've done it to play the role of the martyr," Logan snarled, pushing his uniform down past his hips ever so slightly. He paused meeting Scott's eyes again in a challenge, "but rest assured it's a role you'll be able to perfect when Jean finally comes to me."_

_"You son of a…" Scott snapped, rushing across the room to attack Logan with fists flailing. He pounded into Logan's shoulders, striking him in the chest and face, not caring about the fact that Logan's adamantium-laced frame could more then take the blows without any real sense of pain or torment. Logan merely laughed in Scott's face, taking the attack in stride and using it to provoke Scott further._

_"Is that all that you've got Cyclops?" Logan's voice roared with amusement._

_"I'm going to destroy you," Scott shouted, his voice cracked with rage, "To hell with having you on the team. You're not at all cut out to be…"_

_"To be what?" Logan finally collected Scott in his arms, doing his best to prevent Scott's latest hit. In an instant, he tumbled Scott to the floor, pinning him down beneath Logan's heavy body. He hovered above Scott, his mouth curved downward in warning, "A follower?"_

_"It's about doing something more for the world around you," Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth, preparing to launch another punch to Logan's face when the jarring movement between them caused Scott's glasses to slip from his eyes, sliding across the room out of his reach. Immediately Scott closed his eyes, feeling himself powerless in the moment with Logan hovering over him._

_"And yet when presented with the opportunity to destroy me," Logan's lips curved upward in the beginnings of a smirk, "you choose to back down hoping you can still persuade me into doing something for the greater good that you support."_

_"I don't care what you do," Scott spat up at him defiantly, "If it wasn't for everyone else…"_

_"Everyone else isn't here trying to convince me of anything. You are," Logan's voice hinted at something darker, something more primitive as Scott felt the feral press in over him more intimately. It was then that Scott felt the first stirring of uneasiness in his stomach. The realization that Logan's uniform had slipped down further leaving no mistake about Logan's nearly naked form pressed into Scott. Scott gulped down hard, pretending not to notice that Logan's aroused form was now pushing in against his thigh, hard and ready for a different kind of action. Scott gulped telling himself that Logan's response was clearly the result of their fight. It was something that happened in the heat of combat, yet…_

_"I…" Scott tried to complete his thought, to remember what he'd wanted to scream at Logan, but he was caught off guard by the involuntary brush of Logan's body over his. He felt Logan's hot breath over him, his mouth a few inches away from Scott. Even with Scott's eyes closed tightly, he knew that there was no denying Logan's domineering presence. It was part of what had infuriated Scott, yet with Logan shifting over him again, Scott found himself in a completely unfamiliar situation-one that he'd never anticipated experiencing in this lifetime._

_"Cat got your tongue Cyclops?" Logan spoke his name in a mocking tone, his words intended for insult, yet when Scott felt Logan's hips press in further against his body, bringing life to Scott's pounding heart, Scott knew he was in trouble. Lust hadn't been something that had come readily for Scott. He was more evolved than that to admit to such feelings. Yes, he and Jean had a normal, active sex life with one another, but he hadn't dared to make blatant displays in front of the others. His and Jean's dalliances were more refined, best left to the confines of their private bedroom. Although there was one time when they'd made love outdoors when no one was around, yet…_

_Scott's thoughts returned from their tangent to the moment with Logan's hard, muscled contours pushing down into him in an involuntary grind. It took everything in Scott's power not to react, not to admit to the strange sensation that had overtaken his body. The combination of sweat and Logan's scent filled his senses, invading his mind with carnal thoughts of the man Scott had grown to despise. Now vulnerable and laid out on the floor beneath Logan, Scott couldn't help but gulp. He'd hoped things would play out differently between them, but once their fight had gone considerably in Logan's favor, Scott had believed it would simply end with them both in disagreement about what was expected. However, what Scott had anticipated wasn't at all what had played out between them._

_"So tell me Cyclops," Logan's voice taunted, his breath striking the side of Scott's neck in a daring fashion. Scott could feel the heat of Logan above him, the faint brush of stubble against his neck when Logan continued to speak, "since you're all about dishing out orders, how are you at taking them?"_

_"Whether you like my position of leadership or not doesn't make me any less in charge of things Logan," Scott quipped defiantly, not allowing himself to lose control of their conversation. "When I ask something of you…"_

_"You weren't asking it of me," Logan corrected with a shake of his head. Scott felt the bristling stubble against the side of his face once more. He could've sworn that Logan was smelling him, taking in his scent in an animalistic fashion when Logan leaned in closer yet to whisper in Scott's ear, "you were telling me. I don't like to be told what to do."_

_"Being polite doesn't work with you," Scott bit down on his lip, fighting to stay focused now that his body was starting to betray him. With Logan's hard length laid out over his body, pressing in against his slacks Scott gulped. It was bad enough that the man Scott despised was over him nearly naked with a blatant hard on, clearly enjoying gaining the upper hand in their disagreement, but what made matters worse was that Scott too had felt a rise in underneath his slacks._

_"Fuck," Scott silently cursed under his breath hoping Logan didn't notice his aroused state. Scott tried to write it off as a simple response to the heat of the moment, but when Scott felt Logan slide downward, caging him more completely on the ground, Scott knew full well that Logan couldn't have not noticed. Tipping his head back, Scott let out a breath he hadn't been aware that he'd been holding._

_"So tell me something Summers," Logan's voice taunted readily, "if you could give me any order right now, assuming I'd take it, what would it be?"_

_"I'd ask you to get off of me so that I could get my glasses and leave," Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth. Trying to still the furious pounding of his heart, Scott tried to sound smooth and even in the moment. "This was clearly a waste of time."_

_"Was it?" Logan questioned with obvious amusement._

_"Of course it was. You aren't any closer to listening and I'm clearly nowhere near getting through to you," Scott sighed, forcing his head up to meet Logan's face. Although he couldn't see Logan, he could sense him, could feel the smirk that Logan was undoubtedly carrying with him in the moment of having subdued Scott._

_"I don't know about that," Logan shifted again in a half shrug, "I might be more compelled to listen if you give me a good reason to."_

_"I've been giving you plenty of reasons Logan," Scott's frown intensified, his lip curving downward in protest when Logan's hand dropped down over his thigh._

_"Obviously not the right one," Logan's nose nuzzled the side of Scott's neck, causing warning bells to go off in Scott's mind. He kept his eyes closed tightly, fighting to control his hammering heart when Logan's leg shifted ever so slightly, centering in over Scott's growing length. With a subtle movement, Scott felt Logan make contact with his distended flesh._

_"Logan," Scott hissed Logan's name, unable to hold back on the involuntary groan that built in the back of his throat. While Scott had been trying to hide what was happening, he knew it was no use. Logan had to have realized that Scott was aroused, oddly turned on by the encounter although Scott hadn't ever had that response to another man before._

_"Yes?" Logan questioned lazily, increasing the pressure of his thigh against Scott's body, watching Scott squirm with the movement._

_"I have to go," Scott managed to get out, his face growing hot with embarrassment in the moment. "I need…"_

_"How about that order Summers?" Logan suggested in a throaty whisper, his words laced with the same flirty tone that Scott had witnessed Logan using on Jean. Only unlike the moments when Scott had found himself in a rage over Logan's inability to accept boundaries, Scott found himself wondering just how far Logan would push the limit. Laying helpless on the floor left Scott open and vulnerable to Logan's attack-whatever shape or form it may take between them._

_"I already told you…" Scott gulped harder than before, "I wanted you to get…"_

_"You off…" Logan mused with a hint of laughter in his tone, "Yes, I realize that's quite a tall order, but it's one that…"_

_"I said get off of me," Scott whined, attempting to pull himself up off of the ground in a final, fleeting moment of desperation._

_"Make me," Logan challenged causing Scott's blood to pump through his body in a combination of lust and anger._

_"Fine," Scott decided bringing his arms out from underneath Logan. He prepared to pound his fists into Logan's head when he felt Logan increase the pressure on his groin, causing an unmatchable feeling of desire and exquisite agony to carry over Scott. Feeling defeated Scott's closed eyes rolled back into his head, his chin raising just enough to allow him to sink to the ground in surrender. He twisted his head to the side, hating himself completely in the moment when Logan's leg continued to press into his body in a slow, determined movement. Scott felt Logan's thigh rise and fall, grinding and pressing, soft, then hard, sliding in short, then elongated movements, causing Scott's breath to grow uneven._

_"Logan," Scott spat out his name, unable to hold back on the horrible feeling of desire that had consumed him. Scott hadn't been one for shameless displays of sex acts let alone with another man, yet with Logan's nearly naked form hovering over him, thigh working Scott's flesh in ways that Scott hadn't even dared to do with his own hand, Scott couldn't help, but whimper in half protest, half encouragement._

_"Yes?" Logan questioned lazily, his voice cocky and amused when Scott's hips involuntary rose up off of the floor, pretending to protest Logan's weight upon him. In reality they began to grind further against Logan, allowing the feral to continue to work on getting him off in the moment. It wasn't until Scott felt Logan's hand press in over his slacks that the reality of the situation overtook him. He felt Logan's fingers pull on the zipper, causing Scott's body to reveal its shamefully aroused self to Logan's curious eyes. Although Scott couldn't see him, he knew that Logan was inspecting him, carefully contemplating his next move now that Scott lay before him like a wild, wanton animal in heat ready and longing for release._

_"Very nice," Logan mouthed approvingly, catching Scott off guard with his admission. A moment later Scott felt Logan's lips over the side of his neck, his teeth grazing the skin, fingers wrapping around Scott's thick length preparing to finish the job he'd started with his thigh when a noise surrounded them in the moment._

_"Is anyone in here?" Bobby's voice questioned pulling Scott from the moment, snapping him out of the daze he'd been in. Immediately his face grew hot with embarrassment, flushed with realization in knowing how uncalled for his behavior had been. To even consider allowing Logan to touch him that way, to turn him out from within when he was in love with Jean, in a relationship with the woman who had held his heart from day one, was wrong on every level imaginable. Taking in a breath, Scott felt Logan push off of him, springing up from the ground to give Scott the opportunity to zip his pants back up. In a pitiful attempt at reclaiming what little dignity he had left, Scott managed to reach out to one of the benches and slide up onto it before Bobby joined him and Logan._

_"There you are," Scott heard Bobby calling out to them. "The Professor was looking for you both."_

_"We were caught up discussing our last mission," Logan covered, his voice calm and even despite the situation that had taken place between them moments earlier. Even now Scott was certain he was a thousand different shades of crimson, face flushed with colors that would match the beams from his eyes, yet Logan seemed completely in control._

_"Oh, well he was hoping to have a word with you before you went to bed," Bobby paused, an unusual silence carrying over the moment until he spoke up again with confusion in his tone, "Looks like you dropped your glasses."_

_"Thanks," Scott managed to get out quietly when Bobby nudged him, offering up the lenses that Scott had dropped. Scott quickly positioned them on his head and opened his eyes only to discover Logan covered up again with his uniform zipped up over his waist. Letting out a relieved breath Scott relaxed ever so slightly knowing only too well that he'd almost allowed himself to be made a fool. He'd been impulsive and foolish, somehow attracted to the one person he hated more than anything and in doing so he'd almost betrayed the woman he loved._

_"No problem," Bobby looked between the two men, clearly catching onto the vibe that something was wrong._

_"We'll be down to see the Professor in a few minutes," Logan explained turning his attention to his locker. "You can tell him that."_

_"Fair enough," Bobby agreed satisfied with the answer before leaving Scott and Logan alone once more._

_Taking in a breath, Scott brought his fingers up through his tousled hair, desperately trying to make sense of the situation. He cocked his head to the side seeing that Logan appeared to be unphased by the situation that had taken place. If Scott didn't know better, he would've sworn that it hadn't happened, that he hadn't almost let Logan get him off in the middle of the locker room like a passion-starved, hormonal teenager. Thoughts of Jean consumed Scott and he sprang up off of the bench to snap at Logan._

_"If you want to be a member of this team, then you need to start acting like it. Otherwise don't let the door hit you on the way out," Scott had stomped off, hoping to find an escape before reality came crashing in upon him, bringing him to face what he'd almost allowed to happen. It was easier to avoid Logan altogether, he'd decided. Yes, that was certainly the best approach._

Now standing outside of the bedroom he once shared with Jean, Scott found himself weighed down by guilt, by the memory of how he'd wanted nothing more then to allow Logan to take him that day. He'd been in denial at the time, but lust had filled his heart, causing him to embrace the want and desire that being around Logan had stirred up inside of him. That night after their confrontation in the locker room, Scott and Logan had gone to see Charles, to take the lecture Charles had given them about putting their animosities aside for the greater good. It was something that they had grudgingly agreed to do, both pretending as if nothing had transpired between them. Hell, Scott had fought like mad to banish the thought, even used his anger to keep Jean from reading his thoughts and seeing how close to betraying her he'd been. It took everything in his power not to show how flustered he'd truly been, but Jean had made it easy for him to downplay the situation. That night he'd uncharacteristically channeled his mixed feelings into Jean. He'd made love to her in the hopes of banishing his thoughts of Logan, of erasing his eagerness to allow Logan to touch him, to do things that should be reserved for Jean alone. It was wrong on so many levels, forbidden, yet Scott had longed for it. He'd found himself consumed with thoughts of Logan, using Jean as an escape night after night when seeing Logan brought him to longing. Yes, when Logan had left for a while it made things easier, but there was no denying Scott's naughty thoughts.

"And she must've known," Scott sighed thinking about Jean's decline into madness. Shamefully he hung his head wondering why he hadn't realized how obvious he'd been in craving Logan, "If only…"

"Scott," he heard a voice call out to him, pulling him from his guilt. Looking up Scott spotted Charles before him, eyeing him expectantly, "is everything alright?"

"No," Scott finally admitted poignantly, "everything's not alright. It hasn't been right in a very long time."

XXXXX

"Thank you for covering for Scott," Storm started with relief in her voice, "although you shouldn't have had to."

"It was no problem," Logan shrugged when she tossed a can of juice over to Logan before motioning for him to follow her out of the kitchen back onto the porch. Logan grudgingly followed, feeling his body tense after the workout he'd put the children through. He hadn't planned on running the exercise, but after Storm's pleading, he'd felt obligated, needing to do something until Scott arrived. It went against his every instinct not to seek out Scott, but he stayed true to his promise to help. Now sensing Storm's apprehension, he had a feeling that the juice was going to be undoubtedly the last gesture of kindness in the moment.

"What's going on with him Logan?" she demanded turning around to face Logan fully. While she'd always been firm, fair and demanding in her approach with the students, Logan had to hand it to her that she was direct. "What's happening?"

"Nothing's happening," Logan shrugged simply. He extended his claws stabbing one into the top of the can before releasing it and taking a long swig of the juice.

"Don't give me that," Storm ignored his behavior when normally she might've lectured him on popping open the top of a can. Instead she went for the jugular where Scott was concerned, "He's not the same Logan. We can all see that and…"

"Hey, if you are so curious ask him," Logan shrugged his shoulders again. He finished off his juice and tossed the can into the trash, "thanks for the drink."

"Not so fast," Storm warned watching Logan turn to leave the patio, "I don't need to ask him because I'm asking you."

"There's nothing to tell," Logan frowned feeling an uneasiness overtake him. He reached out for the doors only to watch them close with a gust of wind. Groaning he turned around to face Storm with a scowl, "Really? You're resorting to holding me captive now?"

"Something isn't right with Scott," Storm asserted making a small, scrutinizing step towards him, "There hasn't been since his return, so I think it's time you spilled what's going on."

"It's not my place to spill anything," Logan folded his arms in front of his chest defiantly, "that is if there was anything to say to begin with."

"You weren't up front about finding him alive when you did. You held out on all of us while you were in Ohio," her eyes penetrated him suspiciously. "You didn't think twice about calling to let us know that…"

"I thought about it, but I couldn't," Logan corrected simply. "I promised Scott that…"

"That what? That you'd allow him to live out there in a world that wasn't his? In a place where he couldn't have possibly felt accepted? That you'd be an enabler for him when what he really needed was our help?" fury creased in her brow. "Do you have any idea how close your silence came to causing him death for real this time? We almost lost him Logan because he was unprotected and…"

"Don't you think I realize that?" Logan threw his hands up in the air, opting to give up on diplomacy. "Don't you think I see how wrong everything played out? You forget that I almost lost him as well. I'm the one that stood there watching the ceiling and walls crumble down over him. I'm the one that believed that I was going to have to spend the rest of my miserable life without the man I loved. Losing him would've killed me-it almost did, but no one is asking how that impacted me."

Storm's eyes widened with surprise and astonishment, the weight of Logan's words filtering into her mind, "You…you love him?"

"Yes," Logan nodded defiantly, not bothering to care about what the declaration would mean, "I sure as hell do and the last thing I want is anyone giving him a hard time. His well being is important to me-more so then it is to everyone else who decided it was easier to just forget he existed."

"That's not fair Logan," she protested preparing to defend her actions after Scott disappeared, "you know that we…"

"…were all too willing to be focused on finding Jean, but Scott-he didn't even rank on our radar, did he? We didn't even stay around searching for him. We just assumed the worst and left him out there in a state of God knows what alone and abandoned. He went through hell, but no one here even gave a damn or thought twice to search for him again."

"No one, but you…" guilt ate away at her statement, her voice softening in the moment.

"I failed him just as much as everyone else did, but I won't do it again," Logan stated firmly. He paused shifting gears on their conversation, "I realize that everyone here is still kind of stuck in what once was with Scott and Jean. I kind of expected it given their history, but I'm not the bad guy. I love him every bit as much as Jean did, perhaps more even. I would never hurt him intentionally. I want what's best for him, so for people to challenge that, well, they're out of line. I'm not the one who almost destroyed him. I didn't take everything from him…"

"No one ever said you did," she offered up in an apologetic tone.

"You didn't have to," Logan let out an ironic laugh, "I could see it from the moment we returned together. Scott sees it as well."

"That's not why I questioned you. I can just see that Scott has something going on, something that prevented him from coming back to us to begin with," she explained drawing in a breath. "Why else would he not have wanted to be here again?"

"His world crumbled to pieces after what happened with Jean," Logan defended Scott's actions, "He wasn't the same. He felt there wasn't a place for him anymore."

"There was always a place for him," she paused seeing the anger flash behind his eyes, "Just like there is always a place for you."

"Are you sure about that?" Logan raised a skeptic brow.

"Of course I'm sure. Logan, when we thought the Professor and Scott were dead, you were the rock around here. You kept us all strong and moving forward. I wouldn't have been able to accomplish all that I did without your help and support," she informed him with a sudden seriousness, "I know you're a good man."

"But not good enough for Scott, right?" Logan asked rhetorically, "Face it people aren't able to accept that things have changed. We've all changed and we can't go back to being what we once were. Life doesn't work that way."

"No, I'm afraid it doesn't," she agreed softening her tone, "which was why I had reason for concern. When Scott didn't show up today I started thinking about before-about when Jean died…"

"We all failed him then," Logan conceded feeling the weight of the blame on himself as well. "He was descending into her darkness, but we were all caught up in our own agendas to pull him out of it. We were all pretending that everything was alright when it wasn't. It was far from it."

"We were all just so numb after Jean sacrificed herself like she did," she noted poignantly. "I suppose we simply forgot about what impact it had on the rest of us especially Scott."

"It killed him to have experienced that. It was tearing him to pieces, but when she was inside of his head-pulling him away from us, we weren't able to stand up and be what he needed," Logan sighed heavily, feeling the weight of the past hanging over his head. "I refuse to go there again. I won't fail him twice in a lifetime."

"You never failed him Logan," she decided raising her chin up to meet his eyes, "because if anything you've given him something that I don't think he ever imagined possible before you."

"A royal headache I know," Logan half teased thinking about the complicated relationship he and Scott had with one another from the beginning.

"On the contrary, despite the uncharacteristic anger at times, I've never seen him so relaxed, so opposite of rigid that it's a bit unnerving," she admitted bringing her hand up through her white hair, "It's one thing to see that out of someone you've grown up with who was casual and easygoing, but Scott's never been relaxed. He's always been on top of everything, readily available to push aside his feelings and dreams to place the team above all else. He's been unstoppable and…"

"He's still all of those things," Logan interrupted, "only now he's doing what he should've done for himself years ago. He's learning to enjoy life a little bit."

"With your help undoubtedly," she couldn't help, but crack a teasing grin, "after all it's not every day that someone can boast having the affection of the mighty Wolverine."

"Don't start," Logan turned to walk away again.

"I know he loves you too Logan," she called out to him in a desperate attempt to capture his attention, "which is why I know if anyone can reach him and bring him through whatever is still happening inside of him, it's you. He trusts and respects you as well."

"He's going to be just fine," Logan promised reaching for the door and opening it up.

"I certainly hope so," she mouthed under her breath leaving Logan to wonder if perhaps there was something worth worrying about. Yes, Scott missing a training session wouldn't be a big deal if it was anyone else, but knowing it was Scott was all the more reason for Logan to be on edge. In the past that kind of mix-up had lead to Scott's destruction, but now, well, Logan just hoped the explanation was a hell of a lot simpler for all of them.


	6. Chapter 6

"I know it's been a while since we've been able to have a real conversation with one another Scott," Charles sighed motioning for Scott to take a seat across from the desk in his office. "I do apologize for that given that I realize we both have a great many questions for one another."

"I won't argue that point," Scott noted with a simple shake of his head. His eyes surveyed the office, remembering only too well the great many hours he'd spent in this very room seeking out council from Charles in the past. Their bond had been strengthened by their ability to be candid and honest with one another. They'd been able to embrace their ideals, their thoughts about the future with one another during a time when everyone else had created chaos for the team, but now it seemed as if the battle was much closer to home buried within the secrets the walls of the school still held over them.

"Where shall we start?" Charles inquired, his blue eyes finding their way to Scott again with a moment of intense scrutiny and curiosity. "Perhaps we should go back to what was happening when I discovered you outside of the door to your old room."

"I'd rather not talk about that right now," Scott stiffened at the mention of the madness that had prompted him to return to his past. Even now he could still feel the hold Jean had on him from back before Logan's arrival, could recall a time when he'd believed they would live happily ever after, but Scott knew it was only an illusion, an idealistic notion that had become far from the truth for them. He'd fought like hell during their relationship to be perfect, to be the man that Jean had needed, but he'd blown it, sending their lives into an uproar when he found himself unable to ignore his feelings for Logan. Yes, they'd been muted for a very long time, but Scott had always felt them driving him forward, further away from Jean and his promises. His need had consumed him, taking him to a moment of compromise, turning away from all the ideals he'd vowed to live by when lust had overtaken him. That thought in itself brought him to feeling weighed down by guilt, feeling dirty and horrible over hurting Jean when he'd simply been following his heart, allowing it to lead him to where he'd truly longed to be.

"Scott?" Charles questioned, speaking his name and pulling him from the conflicting thoughts inside of his head.

"I don't regret the choices I've made," Scott blurted out catching Charles off guard with his cryptic tone.

"I wouldn't imagine you should," Charles tipped his head to the side and eyed Scott for a long, ponderous moment, "What would make you feel as if you should question the decisions you've made Scott? Did it have something to do with what was happening in being so close to Jean's memory?"

"I shouldn't have been over there," Scott sighed heavily, feeling as if the breath was escaping from his lungs in a desperate pinch. He brought one hand up through his hair before clearing his throat, "We shouldn't be having this conversation. I don't want to talk about Jean, not now."

"Alright," Charles nodded simply, "then perhaps we should return to what it is that you do want to discuss."

"Fine," Scott began stubbornly before sinking down into the chair as Charles had requested. "Why didn't you tell me about Logan?"

"What about Logan?" Charles asked curiously, his hands moving across his desk to reach for the mug of coffee he'd placed there earlier in the day. Raising it to his lips, he took a long sip before setting the mug down again, "Is this about his quest to seek out Victor Creed? I realize it's important to him and…"

"No," Scott shook his head adamantly, "this isn't about Victor. This is about Logan and the fact that you inadvertently lied to me about him. This is about what you should've told me a long time ago, but refused. Now that we both know there's no more hiding it, how about we start with the truth for a change?"

"We've always been truthful with one another Scott," Charles answered evasively, "and I'm certain whatever is bothering you is…"

"We haven't been telling one another the truth for a very long time," Scott moved forward, feeling a strong sensation of distrust pouring out over his body, soaking into his every synapse until finally Scott feared he may erupt in the moment. "Why didn't you say anything about Logan?"

"Scott I'm not following," Charles offered up apologetically, his lips curving downward in the beginnings of a scowl.

"Stop lying!" Scott snapped balling his fists up at his side in a moment of thunderous rage. "I want the truth damn it and I want it now!"

"Excuse me?" Charles blinked back at him, surprise registering behind his eyes.

"Logan," Scott repeated behind gritted teeth unable to mask his discomfort in the moment with Charles, "Why was it you failed to mention who he was to me when you sent Storm and I out to retrieve him and Rogue?"

"At the time I hadn't really thought much about anything aside from uncovering Magneto's plot and…" Charles began after an awkward silence built between them.

"No, I don't believe that," Scott shook his head stubbornly, his own uneasiness revealing itself in the moment, "there was a reason you purposely withheld the information about Logan's role in saving me."

"Scott I…" Charles frowned, a crease forming in his brow with the movement.

"Why didn't you tell me that I knew him from before? Why didn't you say that he was the one who rescued me?" Scott questioned aggressively, thinking about the issue that had been troubling him for quite some time.

Charles hesitated, clearing his throat for a moment before speaking up in a smooth, even tone, "I didn't think at the time it was relevant to the mission at hand."

"Not relevant?" Scott raised his voice with increasing agitation. "How could it not be relevant? The man saved my life! If it wasn't for him, then I might not even be alive right now. That should count for something, should it not?"

"Be that as it may, you were traumatized when you first came here Scott. We both know that the nightmares were consuming you, so…" Charles attempted to defend his actions now that Scott was confronting them.

"So what?" Scott questioned seeing Charles' arms shift uncomfortably on his chair.

"So I did what was necessary to help you get through the experience Scott. You know as well I as I do that your well being is important to me so in helping you…" Charles offered up with a long sigh, his words coming out in a tired, uneasy breath.

"Just like you helped Jean?" Scott questioned in an accusatory tone remembering only too well the disastrous results of Jean's instability. While Charles couldn't be blamed for what happened, it was a ticking time bomb that no one saw coming especially Scott after he'd fallen for Logan. Still feeling anger and resentment over all the things he'd lost Scott channeled his anger on the one man he'd always turned to for support and guidance, "Did you do to her what you did to me in trying to ease my mind? Was that really for our well being or because you wanted to control what could happen with us? What we could do to you or the world around us should we embrace that part of who we were?"

"Scott, that's not what I…" Charles frowned at Scott's words, his brow wrinkling at Scott's insinuation. "You needed help Scott. You were traumatized and…"

"It sure as hell didn't work for Jean, so why should I believe any of it worked for me?" Scott questioned throwing his hands up in the air. Unable to hold back on his frustration Scott continued to lash out at Charles furiously. "I don't understand why in all of what you did that you felt you had to keep Logan buried deep inside my subconscious. Was it so wrong to let me know that he was someone important in my life? Would it have really pushed me over the edge to see that he was the person who gave me a second chance at life again?"

"You made your own second chances Scott. What you endured is something that I won't pretend to understand. Given all you've suffered, I simply wanted to see you emerge from the situation in a new light, embracing your powers without fear or doubt…" Charles explained in a smooth, calm voice clearly making an attempt at reasoning with the irrational feelings inside of Scott.

"Doubt?" Scott repeated with a small laugh, "That's ironic because it feels like all these years that's all I've had poured into my head. I've been overtaken by guilt, consumed by things that were beyond my control, feeling as if I should've been different-that if I could only live by your ideals that life would suddenly be as it should be."

"You're a man with a great moral character and…" Charles explained hoping to reason with Scott in the moment of Scott's heightened emotions.

"But not strong enough to recognize a face from the past? I wasn't able to process that Logan was someone who saved me because my moral character couldn't keep it together if the truth revealed itself, right?" Scott folded his arms in front of his chest defiantly. "I wouldn't be able to allow one trigger inside because if that happened, what? Would it all come crashing down around me like it did with Jean?"

"Scott, that's not what I was trying to do with either one of you. You were both so lost and troubled in the beginning that we all felt it best to…" Charles sighed realizing there was no more avoiding their conversations.

"Withhold my connection to Logan because you felt I was weak?" Scott frowned down at him, testing out a hypothesis that had been lingering on his mind for quite some time. While Charles had always pushed Scott to believe in himself, there was an inner voice nagging at the back of his mind, telling Scott not to feel content in their discussion.

 _"He's lying to you,"_ Scott could hear someone whispering into the back of his ear, "He can't be trusted."

Scott tried to shake the muted whispers, to ignore the voice, but it was there inside of him, pounding it's warning message into Scott's head. He let out a long breath struggling to find a way to argue with the thought that consumed him, but the more it pushed itself into his mind, the harder it became to focus.

 _"Charles had always thought you were inadequate…never like the rest of them. You were merely there to placate him, to run with as his trusty sidekick for a while until he no longer had any real use for you. He took pity on you because you weren't as great as the others. You couldn't perform at their level and they all knew it,"_ the voice cajoled Scott into tuning Charles out in the moment.

"No," Scott mouthed under his breath realizing that couldn't be true. His thoughts had to be betraying him. Even in his rage Charles was someone he could count on, someone he could turn to for guidance and…

 _"He thinks you're pathetic, in need of being put down after he believed that you lost your mind. You were right to stay away because without your powers you would've been irrelevant to him, to all of them. They would have no need for you…,"_ the voice continued to taunt, causing Scott's headache to return. He brought one hand up through his dark hair again and tried to focus on anything other than the sound of doubts that surrounded him. _"If he had his way, he would've had you stay dead. He hoped that you would have allowed yourself to be truly destroyed before you could return to challenge him and his ideals."_

Scott shook his head again, attempting to banish the lingering thoughts with a dull, pained breath. It was no use. They still surrounded him, consumed him, drawing him deep into their warped perception of the world when Scott raised his chin defiantly, his mouth curving into a tight, impossible scowl.

"You think I'm vulnerable, defenseless and even pathetic in my own way," Scott mouthed bitterly unable to hold back on the madness that consumed him any longer, "You've always felt that way about me."

"No, Scott, that's not at all what I'm…" Charles opened his mouth in protest while trying to comprehend what was Scott was saying to him.

"Isn't it? I mean really isn't this your way of saying that I couldn't handle the truth in knowing that Logan rescued me? That I wasn't strong enough to manage that information? Then again perhaps you feared what allowing this to come out would do for your plans to keep me subservient after all this time," Scott pointed to his head and let out an ironic laugh.

"That's not at all what you are to me Scott or to the team. We need you to help lead us and…" Charles began worriedly when Scott's nostrils began to flare with momentarily bitterness.

"Lead?" Scott couldn't help, but laugh, "Wow, so now you want me to play leader when just a short while ago you deemed me incapable of such a task."

"There were special circumstances Scott with your grieving and…" Charles replied without hesitation, "A choice needed to be made and…"

"You made the wrong one, but then again it really shouldn't surprise me now that I know what you truly think of me," Scott snarled, his fingers digging into his palms in a moment of anger. "It's funny how your opinion of me really hasn't changed through the years. I always thought that you believed in me, that you believed that one day I would be a great leader-someone you took under your wing to mentor. You made it sound so wonderful, so filled with purpose and meaning. You lead me to believe that in our fight we'd be able to somehow make peace with the others out there who judged us, who couldn't understand what we were. You made me want to believe that one day we'd all find a way to coexist in a world where we could all be on the same playing field, but that was all lies."

"No, it wasn't Scott. You and I both know that peace can be an option when we work together. Together we're stronger, the better men who can change the world. We can still show them that…" Charles opened his mouth in protest, attempting to reach out into Scott's thoughts in the moment. Scott felt the attempt at invasion and he snarled.

"No!," Scott snapped back at him, "You don't mean that. You don't believe that especially not with me. Now I realize that you never saw me as a part of that world. You felt I needed to have my hand held, to have the truth about my troubles buried deep in my subconscious so I wouldn't crumble to pieces right before your eyes and compromise your path. You wanted to maintain control, to keep me on a leash for your own agenda by first erasing my past. Then when Jean died you all thought I was weak, that I couldn't control myself…"

"Scott, that's not at all what we thought about you. I don't know where you're getting these notions, but they couldn't be further from the truth where I'm concerned. We all knew you were suffering, in great agony," Charles sighed.

"So much so that no one took the time to see what was really happening right before their very eyes," Scott couldn't help, but roll his eyes from behind his glasses. "No one sought out the source of my torment. They just assumed that I was lost."

"You were never lost. Perhaps misguided in the moment, but that never changed the fact that you're a very gifted young man. You always have been. You've been one of my best students through years…the closest thing I've had to a son in my life," Charles interrupted with a shake of his head refusing to give into Scott's outburst with his own emotional uproar.

"If you truly believed in me…if you felt that that was really how things have been, then why not allow me the luxury of the truth?" Scott questioned with a wounded expression on his face.

"I did what I did to protect you, to keep you safe from the demons Stryker had pushed into your mind and I would do it again in a heartbeat given the circumstances," Charles informed him pointedly, refusing to regret the actions he'd taken to help Scott through the years. "The nightmares were so strong-too powerful for your subconscious to allow them to progress in a natural fashion. They wouldn't leave your subconscious or set you free from the horrors. You were lost inside yourself overtaken by terror at every twist and turn."

"So you decided to do me the favor in making them go away," Scott noted thinking back to his troubled youth, struggling to find the reason why he'd needed to journey back to that period in his life again. Although his encounter with Victor had brought back a great, many, horrible memories, there were still things from that time, more specifically Logan, that Scott had wanted to keep with him. Now he'd wished he would've seen Logan's place in his life despite the pain associated with the tormenting memories.

"It was something we mutually agreed to," Charles stated simply pulling Scott out of his silent contemplations, "something that you wanted at the time. I wouldn't have done it without your permission and despite your sudden outburst, deep down you know that to be true."

"Yes perhaps, but I was young and confused. I know I didn't want to linger on what they did to me, but…" Scott paused feeling the hiss of the whispers leaving his mind, taking his anger that had gotten the best of him in the moment to offer him a small few seconds of reprieve from doubt. Taking in a breath, he started to speak up again with a different approach softening his tone, "What I don't understand is why when Logan was here that you didn't just say to me that he was the one who saved me."

"I didn't want to risk the memories returning to you at the time," Charles answered with a sigh, "As selfish as you may feel that my withholding that information from you might have been, I felt it was in everyone's best interest if we didn't go digging into that part of the past again. I wanted you to be able to embrace the man you'd become without looking back onto a time when your world was full of terror and pain."

"Yet in my redemption, you shut Logan out," Scott eyed Charles suspiciously from behind his glasses. "You never thought in all those moments when I complained about Logan that maybe just maybe I should know the weight of the sacrifice he made for me. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be sitting here today and…"

"I understand that you feel a great deal of loyalty to Logan," Charles conceded in the same smooth, even tone he carried with him. Although Scott could sense Charles was shaken, he tried to bury that with his words, keeping things simple in the moment. "I know when you lost Jean he played a great impact on your life through the grieving process and…"

"It runs deeper than that," Scott blurted out simply, "but you've known that for a while, haven't you?"

"There's no mistaking the impact that Logan has made on everyone around him," Charles conceded turning his attention to the window outside of his office. "He's surprised each of us all in a great many ways yourself included. I understand why you could come to admire him and…"

"Logan's never given up on me," Scott mouthed thinking about his time away from the school, "Even when I was consumed by madness, he was still fighting for me and…"

"There's no mistaking Logan's loyalty to you and yours to him," Charles began with a small sigh, "It's only natural that in losing Jean you'd both feel drawn to one another, doing what you felt you could to lend support to one another."

"What I feel for Logan runs deeper than my grief over losing Jean," Scott defended feeling an uneasiness bristling in his skin when the room grew suddenly cooler. He looked around, seeing Charles focused on the window still, yet Scott's own mind was reeling with a million and one thoughts in the moment.

"Often people are drawn to one another in instances of great tragedy. We seek out others who can reach us on a deeper, more profound level-others who can feel our pain and empathize," Charles continued keeping his eyes on the world outside the walls of the school. The winds were starting to pick up outside of the estate, sending the trees swinging in the moment, whipping up a few leaves in the process before thunder cracked through the afternoon. "Logan represents stability for you in a time when chaos ensued and…"

"He saved me from myself, from Victor," Scott replied bringing his hand up through his hair. He felt goose bumps forming on his flesh when Charles spoke up once more.

"I won't argue that Scott," Charles finally turned his focus to Scott again, "it's in those experiences that naturally you would feel gratitude, loyalty and kinship. Much like when you and I first met, you and Logan were able to bond over a horrible ordeal. When tragedy struck again with Jean's sacrifice it triggered those feelings and…"

"It began long before Jean and had I known that, then perhaps I wouldn't have…" Scott bit back on his words, his mind consumed with the truth behind the betrayal he'd pushed upon Jean. It hadn't been his intentions, but in his attachment to Logan, it now made sense as to why they'd been drawn together. It was clear that something more profound was inevitable, yet with Scott unaware of the past, it had blinded him from the truth for much too long.

"What?" Charles inquired, "Turned to Logan for consult? Listened to what he had to say to you about the world around him?"

"Logan and I are…" Scott opened his mouth in protest.

"Both learning to live again after experiencing the grieving process. You're both dealing with strong, conflicting emotions that undoubtedly feel as if they are something else, but deep down I think you know what it is you've been meant for Scott. I believe that you've found your way back and in doing so you'll be able to emerge from this nightmare stronger than before."

"I'm in love with him," Scott blurted out in an impassioned tone, "I have been for a very long time."

"Love," Charles noted with a neutral tone revealing nothing in his thoughts, "Is that what you really feel it is?"

"Of course I do. He makes me happy," Scott frowned, "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."

"Just like the way you felt when you and Jean were together?" Charles questioned giving Scott another long, scrutinizing look. "You said it to her as well."

"I loved Jean very much," Scott spoke up defensively, "She was an important part of my life, but with Logan…"

"You believe that you love him as well," Charles finished in the same business as usual tone that Scott had grown to admire over the years in times of tension, but now with Scott feeling as if he was under some kind of microscope, he couldn't help, but be defensive. "Do you believe that you've reached that point in your life where you're able to fully embrace that sentiment with someone new?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Scott questioned impatiently.

"Why couldn't you go into that room Scott? Why were you standing outside of the door surrounded by thoughts of Jean?" Charles asked.

"I wasn't," Scott shook his head, "I was just…"

"What?" Charles raised a speculative brow.

"I took a wrong turn," Scott spat out, opting to ignore the truth behind his answer.

"Then or now?" Charles inquired hinting beyond what he'd witnessed today in the hallway. "You say that you're in love Scott, but what I see before me is someone who appears to be confused about what he's feeling and…"

"Not where Logan is concerned," Scott answered readily, "Never about Logan."

"Then why were you so eager to lash out at me about the past? If you truly felt secure in your relationship, then would you really have to find an explanation for it?" Charles continued with a crease in his brow, "Would you really have to be standing here wanting to condemn me over what slipped through the cracks of your mind? Do you believe that if somehow you had remembered Logan that it would've made the guilt you're feeling any less over how the situation ended with Jean? That it would give you a pass to ignore that nagging voice inside of you that's telling you something's wrong? If somehow it would make things with Logan acceptable without question?"

"Are we really doing this?" Scott couldn't help, but frown at the implication Charles was throwing at him. "Are we really having a discussion where I have to defend the way I feel for Logan?"

"You're the one that invited this conversation to the foreground by addressing the fact that you felt betrayed in having your first encounter stolen from your mind," Charles noted taking in a breath. "Clearly this topic was one that you'd felt we shouldn't avoid, so I'm merely questioning the motivation behind this-the reasoning for why you might be feeling as if…"

"As if everyone around me except Logan thinks I'm some kind of charity case," Scott threw his hands up in the air, "like if they don't continue to discard my thoughts and feelings that somehow they're going to find that I break. When Jean died everyone around here pretended like I was unapproachable, that I was inconsolable…"

"You were Scott," Charles let out a long sigh hoping to soothe Scott with his words, "We all tried to reach you, but…"

"But nothing," Scott refused to accept Charles or his words to touch the sudden fury in his heart, "Everyone just went on pretending I was irrelevant. Never once did anyone ask what was going on inside of my head. With all of your powers you couldn't see that Jean was invading my thoughts, that she was twisting my mind, playing with it for her own pleasures, using me to provide her with what she needed to return. She was past the point of no return, but no one was even aware of her lingering presence."

"Jean had lost herself to Phoenix, which was something I'd tried very hard to avoid having happen for her," Charles explained with a wounded expression on his face. "She deserved so much more…"

"We all did," Scott snapped back at him, clenching his fists at his side, "I did. Instead of you doing what you could to seek out the truth, you simply let me slip through the cracks. You replaced me with Storm, giving her control of the school and…"

"Scott, it wasn't a decision I'd taken lightly considering that I'd always believed that you would be my predecessor, taking on everything that I'd tried to embody here. I knew in my heart that you would always be the one to embrace the foundation I've laid out here and…" Charles continued in an impassioned tone.

"Always," Scott mocked his tone, "that is until a real problem arose and you felt that the poor, wounded orphan couldn't cut it when push came to shove. You felt that because of what Stryker did to me that I was incapable of living up to your expectations, that because I was manipulated by Jean, dragged down into hell within my head that I couldn't cut it…"

"No Scott. I was thinking about what was best for the school at the time and for you," Charles stopped himself knowing only too well the conversation had taken a twisted turn, one he hadn't been prepared to handle with Scott, "I can also understand how you're feeling in the moment given how things played out around here, but…"

"But nothing," Scott let out a pinched laugh feeling anger settle in over his abdomen once again, "You don't have the first clue what it is I've been going through and…"

"I'd like to understand Scott," Charles spoke smoothly, his words reaching out to Scott, attempting to make their way into Scott's subconscious to sooth the younger man's worries and bring about an end to the conflict in Scott's tortured mind.

"Don't," Scott snapped in warning, bringing his hand up over the side of his head to try to shield himself from the invasion, "don't try to read me right now."

"I'm sorry. I should've asked first," Charles apologized folding his hands on top of his desk, "I was merely trying to…"

"I know what you were doing, but it won't change the way I feel," Scott decided rising to his feet and walking across the room to look out the window. "I realize what I am to all of you. I know what my role is and how when push came to shove where I truly ranked in the grand scheme of things."

"Your perception is a bit skewed right now Scott," Charles attempted to reach out to him again, "It's been jaded by the chain of events leading to this moment, but I can assure you that no one feels you're irrelevant. The team needs you, we all have turned to you when our lives were on the line. You're someone we've depended on, someone we still depend on to guide us and…"

"Are you sure about that?" Scott questioned looking over his shoulder at Charles for a brief moment before turning away.

"There's so much anger inside of you Scott. There are so many things that I know you're dealing with and if you stop fighting me…if you let me inside perhaps together we can find the source of what's really troubling you. If we can smooth it out together, then…" Charles suggested softening his tone.

"What will it accomplish?" Scott asked with a frown, his voice cold and distant in the moment. "It's not going to change what happened. It won't turn back the hands of time nor will it bring Jean back."

"I know that losing her has put a heavy burden on your soul. I can feel it Scott," Charles asserted seeing Scott tense up before him. "I realize that what you experienced in your final exchange with her was something that was a contradiction to the love you'd felt for one another. It was an uninvited moment where Phoenix took control and…"

"Jean needed our help," Scott shivered at the memory of his former lover, "She needed us to be there for her, but we failed her. She was at war with herself, but…"

"It doesn't mean you have to be at war with yourself Scott. We can look inside and try to find a way to sooth the ache that's tearing you to pieces," Charles appealed to him once again, "If we just start from the beginning together…"

"Why bother?" Scott's frown intensified. "It won't change anything that happened before."

"Because it will help you heal," Charles coaxed Scott into trusting him, into inviting him within to soothe the rage twisting Scott apart from within.

"I don't want to heal," Scott glanced over his shoulder at Charles, "I just want to understand."

"Then let me help you," Charles pushed his wheelchair away from the desk, making his way across the room towards Scott in an attempt to bridge the distances between them.

"I don't think you can," Scott shivered folding his arms in front of his chest to close himself off. The chill intensified, surrounding Scott, slipping into his lungs with each breath he took. His headache returned, pulse quickening when his senses told him that something was happening. Speaking with Charles had turned out differently then he'd hoped, but now, well now something else was brewing underneath the surface.

"At least allow me the opportunity to try," Charles appealed to Scott again, his voice worried and comforting in his attempt to understand.

"You can't," Scott shook his head in refusal.

"I'd like to try," Charles offered up soothingly, "If you just…"

"You don't understand," Scott groaned reaching up to touch the side of his own face. His head was throbbing, mind overtaken by conflicting thoughts, but it wouldn't erase the tension in the room. It wouldn't make Scott any more certain of anything involving himself or Charles, he realized thinking about Logan's pleas to end the deceptions he'd carried with him since his return. "No one can considering that…"

"Scott please," Charles appealed to him once again, his voice rolling into Scott's temple, sliding into Scott's mind when there was an infuriated reaction to the invasion upon Scott's skin, a silent warning to keep Charles at arm's length. Spinning around Scott faced Charles fully, feeling his body shaken with a sudden anger. He dropped his arms down at his sides, his jaw flexing with tension, mind reeling with rage when he snarled at Charles.

"Don't!" Scott snapped, the word spilling from his lips in a rush of electricity and darkness, foreign sounding in contrast to Scott's usual tone. The word spiraled across the room with a hiss, stealing the momentary ease between the two men when the mug on the desk began to spin and bounce near the edge catching them both off guard.

"Scott?" Charles questioned turning his attention to the mug, seeing it whirl off of the desk onto the floor in a shattering explosion.

"I can't do this," Scott blurted out, feeling his hands shaking at what had happened. He looked to the spilled coffee on the floor and suddenly Scott felt as if he'd stepped out of his own skin, possessed by a force that wasn't his own. His hands were shaking, lips trembling when he gasped for breath, eyes seeing the situation in ways that were foreign to Scott. It was as if he was on the outside looking down on himself, witnessing things as another immersed in the situation. Panic washed over Scott when he focused his attention to the broken glass of the mug again before turning away.

"Scott wait," Charles called out to him, watching as Scott rushed to exit the office, "Scott!"

Worriedly Charles took in a breath before trying a different approach to the situation, "Jean?"

XXXXX


	7. Chapter 7

Logan exited the bedroom knowing only too well that he'd been convinced that he wouldn't find Scott inside, yet it had been worth a try. Logan had already gone down to the garage, outside to the gardens and the other areas that Scott had frequented, but it had been no use. There wasn't any sign of Scott on the premises, which only fueled the fears growing inside of Logan. At first he'd thought back to when Jean had died, to the times when Scott was lost inside of himself, but then remembering his dream a deeper fear consumed Logan. Worried that perhaps Victor had made his way into the school in an attempt to attack Scott again, Logan opted to make his way to see Charles, to have him help locate Scott.

"Where are you?" Logan questioned making his way down the hallway when he felt himself overtaken with the first hint of Scott's scent lingering in the air. While it hadn't been present in his earlier walk down the hall, it was intoxicating his senses, thick and heady guiding Logan in a new direction. He rounded the corner of the hallway before hesitating when he noticed the door to Scott and Jean's old room in front of him. Although most people had gone out of their way to avoid the room since Jean's disappearance the first time around, Logan could see that the door was opened. It was just a crack in it's opening, yet it revealed the first glimpse of the place where Logan had been eager to avoid in their return.

"Scott," Logan mouthed to himself wondering if Scott had drifted back into the room, to somehow face the past he'd put behind him with Jean. That thought in itself caused Logan to tense up, wondering if being back was leading Scott down the path of self-loathing all over again. Granted Logan and Scott had found a way to bond in their grief with one another, but it was what happened before Jean's 'death' that had initially kept a wall up between them.

Thinking back Logan closed his eyes remembering his flirtations with Jean. He could clearly recall the ways in which he'd been attempting to capture her attention, to use it to force himself to ignore what he'd been fighting with his feelings for Scott. Yes, he'd known he was playing with fire by flirting with her, but perhaps that had been part of the thrill with his arrogant approach where she was concerned.

_"Logan stop," he could hear her playful laughter encouraging him. Although she'd told him to quit flirting, she'd reached out to place her hand on his arm, fingers curling upward towards his shoulder, silently welcoming his attention._

_"You know you don't really want me to stop," he'd flirted shamelessly, doing his best to charm her. He'd thrown out a few of his best lines, upping the level of his game and it had paid off. He's known it every time he was around her, felt it when they were close to one another, yet he'd always felt horrible after he'd pushed the envelope. Jean was a means of being close to Scott, yet…_

"Stop," he grumbled to himself refusing to allow his thoughts to take him to a place of heavy scrutiny. He'd made his decisions, lived with his choices and nothing could change that. Yes, maybe he'd come on strong to Jean, but he'd never expected her to flirt back. Hell, what person would want to when they had the intensity of Scott Summers in their life? Having Scott as their lover would've been enough to ignore temptation, yet Jean hadn't been able to resist. She'd been flattered, charmed by Logan's flirtations when in reality she truly had everything that Logan had wanted in Scott. It seemed like an impossible feat to win Jean over, but it had ended up backfiring.

Now standing outside of Scott and Jean's old room, Logan thought back to the night he'd shared with Scott right before the team had gone out on that fateful mission where they'd lost Jean. He could clearly recall how he'd crossed the line in flirting, taking the initiative to make a move. That night when Jean was away Logan had started discovering his thirst for Scott had been so much more than a simply passing notion. After he'd had a taste of Summers, he was addicted and needed more. It was something he'd allowed to consume him, so much so that when he'd kissed Jean, he'd almost feared she would read his thoughts and see right through him. He'd played it off in an attempt to be smooth and flirty, but the truth was much darker. His thoughts when kissing her had been of Scott-to the way her soft, full lips had reminded him of the man that only a short while earlier he'd been…

Suddenly he was back with Jean, with her after they'd found her at the lake. He could recall his concern, his fears that had mounted in her reemergence. He'd been terrified, wishing like hell that she could bring him one step closer to seeking out the truth about Scott. His every thought, breath, every instinct told him that she was the only one to give him answers. When she lay asleep before him he could smell Scott on her. She was saturated with him, everything about her signaling Logan to Scott's lingering presence over her body, on her hands, over her lips. She'd been with him. Scott had been with her before the world exploded with madness. Knowing that Logan refused to leave her side, prepared to do whatever was necessary to seek out the truth over what happened.

Taking in a breath Logan could recall when Jean awakened, he could feel the scent of Scott burning him alive, tearing at his logic and reason when he spoke to Jean. Scott was all over her, imprinted over her skin, very much a part of the confused woman before Logan. That realization startled Logan, causing him to question what had taken place given his relationship with Scott. When Jean gazed up at Logan, still oozing with Scott's essence, with his enthralling scent, Logan found his thoughts turning to the night before Scott had left for the lake. He could recall Scott's nightmare, remembered how terrified Scott was before they'd made frantic love to one another, each living in the moment as if it could be the last.

That night had signaled a change, brought out something that Logan couldn't quite understand. It was the beginning of the end that morning when he and Scott argued-bickering over the nightmares, over the guilt Scott had felt over what they'd done to Jean. Scott had been haunted by it, possessed by a feeling of shame and guilt, unable to shake the weight of his emotional uproar. Logan had tried to calm him down, tried to dispel Scott's guilt over their betrayal, but Scott wouldn't hear of it. He was irrational, angry, lost and when they'd parted Logan had never anticipated it would be their last day together. There was so much Logan had wanted to say, so many things he'd wanted to do, but ultimately he allowed his agitation to simmer over the moment. All the wrong words came out when Scott had marched out of the school in what Logan had hoped was an attempt to blow off steam, but when Logan and Storm had been sent in search of Scott, Logan knew that something was horribly wrong. He'd hoped and prayed it hadn't spelled the end for his relationship, yet when they had only located Jean instead of Scott, Logan had feared the worst.

Still in having Jean before him, carrying Scott with her, Logan was captivated and confused. Only in his questioning she hadn't been providing him with answers, only the sweet, lingering scent of Scott that was imprinted all over her, inside of her. Never in his life had Logan been more out of control then when he'd given in to his instincts consumed by Scott's presence when he'd kissed Jean. He hadn't known what had possessed him, but with each taste of her, each touch he found himself more immersed in Scott. He was drowning in the sensory overload surrounding himself with the pieces of Scott she'd provided him with. He'd known on some level it was Jean, but in kissing her he felt Scott's hold on him, taking him in, betraying all logic and reason when Jean's lust had indicated everything about Scott. She was inside of him, dominating his mind and pulling out his reactions with the temptation of Scott she held over him in the moment. It wasn't until reality came crashing down upon him with Scott's glasses in his back pocket that he knew to sever the connection. She wasn't Scott. She hadn't been and what followed was only one step closer to madness when Phoenix consumed her.

"Logan," Bobby's voice pulled him from the memory, bringing him back to his surroundings. Yes, he was still at the school, but now he was back in the moment, far from the confusion that had surrounded him in his early days. He was in the hallways seeking out Scott and… "I thought that I saw you pass by."

"Hey Bobby," Logan greeted him with a small nod, doing his best to be polite when he decided that getting into that room wasn't something he wanted to do. If Scott was inside perhaps it would be best to give him a little space and wait for a while.

"What are you doing out here?" Bobby questioned eyeing Logan suspiciously. "You seem lost."

"Looking for Scott," Logan replied clearing his throat, "why? Need something?"

"No I was just passing by and I spotted you," Bobby paused, an uneasiness in his voice, "Cyclops huh? So then it's true? You and he are really…?"

"Yeah," Logan replied with a small shrug, "so what?"

"Nothing," Bobby stood up taller, "I just mean…well, I'd just heard. It's cool I guess."

"Cool?" Logan repeated with a wrinkled brow.

"Yeah sure…I just…" Bobby bit back on his words, "I mean it's none of my business. I'm sorry I even brought it up."

"Smart kid," Logan groaned outwardly, not wanting to suddenly be the topic of everyone's conversation while they were adjusting to things. Turning his back to Bobby, he focused on the door to Scott and Jean's old bedroom once again.

"He's not in there," Bobby cut through Logan's thoughts in an attempt to be polite, "at least not last I heard."

"You're sure hearing a lot these days, aren't you?" Logan mouthed with a hint of sarcasm in his tone. He turned around to face Bobby fully with the beginnings of a scowl.

"He was out here earlier, but I saw him leave with the Professor," Bobby explained nervously, "It was a little while ago, but I thought I heard them talking about going to his office and…"

"Thanks kiddo," Logan nodded with a relieved breath.

"No problem," Bobby smiled politely, "anytime."

Saying nothing Logan looked to the still open door before him and frowned. While he was suddenly very curious to see what was inside, he opted to go out in search of Scott to see what was going on. Perhaps while he was down in the office he would also mention putting together a team to go off in search of Victor again. With Charles helping him perhaps it would be possible to get a location on Victor and…

"Glad I could help," Bobby waved pulling Logan from his thoughts.

"Thanks," Logan nodded seeing Bobby start to walk away from him, "Oh and Bobby?"

"Yes?" Bobby turned around to look over his shoulder at Logan.

"Thanks for keeping your ears open," Logan's grin expanded, amusement finally carrying over him, "Apparently a little gossip around here goes a long way now, doesn't it?"

"So I'm told," Bobby shrugged and walked away, returning to whatever he was doing before approaching Logan.

Once Bobby disappeared around the corner of the hallway, Logan walked away from the bedroom door preparing to go to the office and see Charles. He was a few feet away from the partially opened door when curiosity got the best of him. Groaning outwardly he couldn't help, but wonder if Scott had discovered something inside that had upset him. Perhaps that had been why Scott hadn't arrived at the Danger Room. Though if it was, Logan suspected that Scott would keep quiet about what had happened in an attempt to keep Logan from worrying.

"Damn it to hell," Logan muttered under his breath, stomping back over to the room preparing for the inevitable discomfort he'd feel in seeing the place where Scott and Jean shared their lives with one another. Still knowing he couldn't back down, Logan pushed the door open fully and stepped inside. Immediately his gaze lingered to the bed, to the place where Scott and Jean had shared their private moments with one another. Jealousy coiled over his body, tearing at his defenses even though he knew he had no reason to be upset. Still in knowing the history between Scott and Jean, Logan couldn't help, but feel as if many saw him as the odd man out.

"Since when do you give a damn?" he heard the inner voice of reason dictate.

"Good point," Logan deduced seeing it was a bad idea to be in the room. He turned around preparing to leave when a crashing sound captured his attention. In an instant the room was cold, chilling his adamantium laced bones and causing his skin to prickle with goose bumps in the moment.

"Do you really think you can have him without a fight?" Jean's voice vibrated through his mind, causing his body to tense up when the bedroom door slammed to a close, trapping him inside. He stood up taller, feeling the familiar scent of her surrounding him in the moment. He stretched his hands out, claws on the verge of revealing themselves when he turned around half expecting to see her standing before him. Much to his relief, he discovered he was still very much alone, his senses betraying him.

"You haven't asked for forgiveness yet and I'm not willing to give it to you," her voice shouted deep in his mind, shrill and violent when he felt a force knock him down to his knees. He tensed up, hands clasping at the side of his head when Jean's words continued to lash out at him, "You can't have what we were meant for Logan. You couldn't possibly believe that this is going to work out for you, not when Scott and I belong together. I know what you did…saw what you were doing to tear us apart, but I won't allow it. You can't have him!"

"Jean?" Logan questioned feeling a heaviness in his chest, his breath coming out in a labored gasp with another ripple of a vibration coming from over by the bed. He raised his chin up, eyes widening when there was a bright light radiating from over by the window. Books on the shelves spilled out onto the floor, scattering out on the ground in front of him, shuffling violently at his knees. For an instant, he thought he could see her standing before him, brows upturned with rage, her blood red lips curved downward in a scowl, eyes blackening with each passing second, sending bubbling sensations over the surface of his flesh until…

"Logan," a voice called out to him. There was a knock at the door alerting him that someone was in the hallway. In an instant, the chill faded, Jean's image evaporated into nothing, the room returning to normal with the exception of the scattered books on the ground. There was another knock on the door, "Logan, are you in there?"

"Marie?" Logan spoke up, doing his best to sound anything, but shaken after the experience he'd just gone through. He reached for one of the books, seeing Jean's handwriting on the pages before him. In an instant he realized it was her journal, something that contained her private thoughts. While he knew he should've simply discarded it, opting to leave it on the ground, there was something about this particular book that captured his attention when he noticed the date on the top of the page. Drawing in a breath, he stood upright, pushing the journal into the back of his pants, just beneath his t-shirt. He adjusted it momentarily before reaching for the door to greet his old friend. "Hi."

"Hey," she greeted him with curious eyes, "everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," he lied securing the book into the top of his jeans before smiling at her in his best attempt to hide the truth, "why? Something up?"

"Bobby just said he ran into you a few minutes ago and then I heard a noise," she attempted to peer into the room beyond where Logan stood.

"Someone left the door open," Logan lied, stepping forward in an attempt to get out of the room, "The window was open and I closed it, which is probably what you heard…"

"I didn't know anyone had been in here," Marie noticed the scattered books on the floor. "Oh my…"

"It's fine," Logan reached out to grab Marie's clothed arm, pulling her out into the hallway with him before she could see what was going on where he'd been moments earlier.

"Someone should get that," she announced in reference to the mess. "If the wind knocked all of that over…"

"I'll get to it later," Logan waved his hand dismissively. Once they were in the hallway, he reached for the doorknob, pulling the door to a close behind him. "It's not really a big deal. Scott and I can just…"

"Scott's been in there?" Marie's eyes widened with surprise. "Really?"

"I figured you must've heard that given that your boyfriend tends to be the center of gossip around here," Logan wrinkled his nose at her.

"He doesn't hear all the gossip," she shook her head dismissively, "Just knows where to find all the right people it would seem."

"Perhaps," Logan smiled down at her, "so now that you've found me, what's on your mind?"

"Scott," she divulged with a hint of laughter in her tone, "He had an interesting day today in class."

"How so?" Logan asked curiously.

"He seemed kind of nervous, kind of distracted," she wiggled his brow up at him suggestively, "I'm assuming that had entirely everything to do with you."

"Why would you come to such an assumption?" Logan couldn't help but smile down at her.

"Because I've seen the two of you together," she explained in a giddy voice, "and I know how he just seems to melt when you're together. It's like you brought back a completely different man with you."

"Why would you say that?" Logan questioned thinking about the changes Scott had been through.

"He's happy Logan. He's smiling, joking and he's so self-assured," she continued admiring Scott's changes. "We talked about what it was like being away from the school for him, about learning to accept who we truly are. It was nice. I like him. Your boyfriend's a keeper."

"My boyfriend?" Logan repeated giving her a strange, sideways glance.

"That's right," she nodded with another giggle, "I mean I just as much assumed that was what you were calling it after you had me help you pick out that ring for him, which looks incredible on him by the way."

"Don't let it get to your head that I brought you in on that one," Logan issued her a warning glare, "I don't want Scott thinking I'm completely helpless in that department."

"Your secret is safe with me," she pretended to seal her lips, "although I must say I'm proud of you."

"Proud of me?" Logan raised a curious brow, "Why?"

"Because you've finally stopped looking for a quick exit," she explained pointedly, "You've found a reason to stick around for a while, so in that respect I'm happy that you're happy with Scott."

"So what does that mean? That I've got your seal of approval now?" he questioned with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Something like that," Marie nodded encouragingly, "And Logan?"

"Yeah?" he questioned seeing her turn to leave.

"Don't fuck it up this time," she blurted out catching him off guard with her words, "He's much better suited for you then Dr. Grey ever was."

"Jean and I weren't…" Logan opened his mouth to protest before finally letting out a long sigh, "I won't."

"Good," she threw out one last wave, "because I think it's long overdue for the both of us to have a little happiness in our lives for a change."

"I couldn't agree more," Logan waved back awkwardly before finding his eyes returning to the door before him again. While he'd wanted to say that he'd imagined everything that he'd just experienced, deep down he knew better. Jean's presence was still lingering, still finding a way to push itself into the present, but the reasoning behind it was still unclear. Reaching into the back of his pants Logan pulled out the journal, knowing full well it was an invasion of Jean's privacy to have taken it, but given the strange situation that had taken place, Logan was willing to risk it. Tucking it back into his pocket, Logan turned down the hallway preparing to seek out Charles in the hopes of discovering Scott as well.

XXXXX

Time stood still in Xavier's office. The temperature had cooled down, turning a once comfortable room into something that felt out of place even with the storm happening outside. Now as Scott stood beside the door to exit, he heard his mentor speak up again wearily.

"Jean, is that you?" Charles questioned worriedly, his voice shaky and uncertain in the moment after the coffee mug had shattered onto the floor in the midst of Scott's anger. "Are you with us?"

Scott stopped himself upon hearing Charles say his former lover's name. In that moment Scott thought to his own delusions, to the voice he'd heard in his classroom that had guided him to his old bedroom. The sound had possessed him, taking control of his movements, bringing him from his comfort zone, to something he'd hoped to avoid. In hearing Jean's voice it had felt so real, so strong that he had allowed the sensation that rippled over him to guide him back to the place he'd wanted to avoid. It had dragged out memories of Scott's betrayals, consuming him with guilt over how he'd failed Jean after promising her the world. However, something about it seemed to ran deeper in the moment. When his rage had gotten the best of him, he'd been possessed by something else, something that went well beyond himself. He could recall the sharpness, the need to lash out at Charles when he'd invaded his mind, the voices telling him to retreat when he'd pushed Charles away.

In that moment of confusion and uneasiness Scott had found himself immersed in the new powers he'd carried with him, channeling them into something more-something that hadn't happened before when his anger had spiraled out through his body, driving the mug to shatter. It wasn't at all something he'd experienced before, yet with the reminder of the moment fresh on his mind, he realized that the power had mimicked Jean's. Now caught up in a moment of worry and confusion over what was happening to him Scott turned around to face Charles fully, his face drained of all color when he finally spoke up.

"Have you been hearing her too?" Scott questioned wearily, uncertain of his sanity when Charles looked up at him with uneasy blue eyes.

"No," Charles confessed with a shake of his head, "but with what happened just now I thought for a minute that maybe she…"

"Was a part of me?" Scott asked softening his tone. Knowing there was no explanation for what had taken place, Scott feared his anger hadn't allowed him to recover from the moment. He took in a breath, feeling it spill into his lungs while his head pounded with a deep, penetrating ache.

"No of course not. I mean I just imagined that there was a possibility that…" Charles attempted to explain what logic was carrying over him in the moment.

"That she could've done something more to me back at the lake-that she could be here inside of me," Scott added nervously wondering aloud about the things that had been haunting him lately. Although it was impossible to believe Jean was really there, his every instinct refused to believe that Jean was gone completely. Her memory was too strong, too deeply embedded in his mind, returning to him at times when he hadn't anticipated finding her. Yes, today had been something for him to deal with, conjured up by his own feelings of guilt, but now with her powers inside of him…

Scott's hands began to shake uncontrollably, worry spiraling through his body. He reached out to the table beside him feeling his knees grow weak in the moment. The room was spinning around him, the walls closing in on him, more with each passing second. He staggered forward, gasping for his breath.

"Scott?" Charles called out to him, trying to pull him from what was taking place in the moment, "Scott?"

"Stop it! Please…just…stop," Scott's voice was pinched with the agony that had spread out over his body. He brought his hands up clenching his head tightly, fighting to control the sensation that was carrying over him, dragging him down into madness again. Stumbling forward he fell onto the sofa, his body trembling and convulsing in the moment.

Charles opened his mouth to say something more, but it made no difference. Scott fell to the floor, his limbs flailing wildly in the moment, sending the pieces of the coffee mug up into the air, out through the room crashing towards the window. The impact caused the window to shatter when the office door opened and Logan stepped inside horrified to discover the scene playing out before him.

"Scott!" Logan had shouted out knowing that he should've knocked before invading the private conversation between Scott and Charles, but when the sound of shattering glass exploded through the corridor, Logan couldn't help, but react. He'd pushed his way into the room, fearing the worst. However, when he'd discovered Scott on the ground lost in the midst of a seizure, he hadn't been at all prepared for what was happening.

"What did you do to him?" Logan growled rushing over to the floor beside Scott. He dropped down to his knees reaching out to touch his lover's shoulders. Scott's body shook violently, his lips flailing in a desperate attempt at seeking out air. Logan snarled up at Charles angrily. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," Charles revealed worriedly, "we were just talking and…"

"I don't believe that," Logan returned his focus to Scott, scooping him up into his arms without hesitation. The tremors that ran through Scott's body simmered down, easing up just enough for Logan to secure Scott against his chest. Although he knew there was more happening, then Logan realized, right now was about protecting Scott, about keeping him safe. Without hesitation he stormed out of the office with Scott in his arms now determined to find someone who could help.

XXXXX

Logan paced around the hallway knowing only too well that the last place he wanted to be was waiting on the outside on bated breath for answers from someone else. Right now he wanted to be with Scott, to stand beside him, holding his hand and doing anything in his power to help Scott through the episode he'd just been through. The seizure was new, different in a frightening way. Logan thought to what he'd walked in upon in the office and he found himself filled with that same fear that had consumed him back in Ohio after he'd accidentally stabbed Scott. Back then he'd been afraid to lose Scott, fearing that he'd done something that could rip Scott away from him, but now that Scott was hurting all over again, Logan found himself wishing like hell that he could change things. If only they could go back to…

"Logan," he heard Marie's voice call out to him. She rushed forward pulling him into a tight embrace, "I just heard about Scott. What's happening?"

"I don't know," Logan admitted trying to keep it together long enough to stay focused on figuring out what was going on with Scott. "Hank's in there with him right now and…"

"He seemed fine this morning. He was happy and…" Marie's voice fell to silence when Charles entered the area with Storm at his side. Logan immediately tensed up, his golden eyes glaring at the man Scott had viewed as a mentor through the years.

"Logan," Charles moved in closer to the two of them, "any word?"

"Nothing yet," Logan sighed heavily, his worries mounting with each passing second. Turning his attention to Marie, Logan cleared his throat uneasily, "can you give us a minute?"

"Sure," Marie nodded at his request. When she stepped aside Logan's angry eyes fell upon Charles.

"What happened in there?" Logan demanded an answer, not bothering to work his way to the truth with pleasantries.

"I don't know," Charles confessed worriedly, "we were just having a conversation and then…"

"About what?" Logan snarled, the beast from within ready to lash out at Charles if he'd somehow caused Scott the pain.

"Jean," Charles explained smoothly, his blue eyes searching Logan's for a long, contemplative moment, "we were discussing the weight of Scott's guilt over what happened with her. He was upset when I encountered him outside of his old room and…"

"And what?" Logan frowned, "What did you say to him?"

"Nothing that should've triggered that kind of response. We were merely having a discussion and then…" Charles paused contemplating his words carefully, "Logan, have you noticed any changes in Scott recently? Is there anything that you think I should know about? Anything that could help me help him?"

Logan contemplated an answer, remembering Scott's concerns about revealing the truth about his new powers. It was a concern Logan had for a while, but instead of speaking up, he refrained opting to keep Scott's secret for a while longer, "Nothing comes to mind."

"Logan, I know that's a lie. I'm well aware of the fact that…" Charles opened his mouth in protest preparing to say something more when Hank emerged from the doors before them looking pensive and uneasy.

"He's awake," Hank announced turning his attention to Logan, "and he's asking for you."

"Thank you," Logan pushed past Hank rushing into the room to discover Scott laying out on a bed, hooked up to a few machines that monitored his responses. When Logan entered the room, he could hear the sound of Scott's heartbeat on the machine, racing wildly upon Logan's arrival. Scott's face was pale, his blue eyes seeking out Logan in the moment with a smile.

"Hey sexy," Scott spoke up in a tired voice, the corners of his lips rising upward in the beginnings of a smirk. He patted the sheet beside him, fingers curling down ever so slightly when he nodded to Logan, "feel like joining me?"

"I don't know," Logan couldn't help, but tease, "if you keep having those monitors beeping like that, Hank might throw me out. If I get any closer we might have problems."

"The only problem we're going to have is the one that I'm going to give you if you don't come over here and kiss me," Scott commanded with a hint of seriousness in his tone.

"In that case," Logan stood beside Scott's bed, bending down to press a kiss over his forehead gently, "who am I to argue?"

"That was a lousy excuse for a kiss," Scott brought his arm around Logan's shoulders, pulling Logan in over him eagerly. He slid over on the bed to accommodate Logan's arrival, making room for Logan to join him fully. Logan silently obliged, bringing his arm around Scott's lean waist. Logan dipped in to kiss Scott again all the while enjoying a slow, lingering taste of the man he loved.

"Want to tell me what happened?" Logan questioned breathlessly once they'd parted. Reaching out to touch the side of Scott's face, Logan couldn't help, but be worried when he met the lost blue eyes before him.

"I don't know," Scott admitted with a small sigh. "Xavier and I were arguing and then everything started to change. The room started spinning. I felt lightheaded and out of control. The next thing I knew, well, here we are I guess."

"What happened right before you felt that way?" Logan questioned worriedly, sliding his fingers into Scott's dark hair. "Aside from arguing?"

"I don't know. There was a mug on the desk. I was upset and I must've knocked it down," Scott confessed closing his eyes at the memory. "I felt this force inside of me and then…"

"What?" Logan prompted him further.

"I shattered the glass," Scott divulged with an uneasiness in his tone. "I don't know how I did it, but I managed to send it to the floor, down to the ground. There was this voice inside my head and…"

"What voice?" Logan asked seeing Scott tense up beside him. Reaching out to coax Scott to open his eyes again, Logan spoke up soothingly, "Talk to me Scott."

"Jean," Scott blurted out with a shivering exhale, "I heard her Logan. She was talking to me, pushing herself into my mind and…"

"And what?" Logan thought to his own experience in Scott and Jean's old bedroom.

"I don't know," Scott turned his eyes away from Logan, "It couldn't be happening, can it? I know she's gone, yet her voice was so strong-so real and…maybe I'm going crazy."

"I've felt it too Scott," Logan revealed tangling his fingers further into Scott's soft hair, "You're not crazy. I've heard her."

"You have?" Scott questioned focusing on Logan's features once again.

Logan nodded, "When I was searching for you earlier, I felt something in your old room. There was this voice and…"

"And what?" Scott asked anxiously.

"You aren't imagining it Scott. I don't know what's happening, but there's a part of her still here," Logan agreed with a tiny shudder of his own, "Maybe it's because we haven't all dealt with the past properly or because of what happened the last time we all encountered her, but it's something."

"I thought it was just me," Scott let out a long breath of relief, "that I was losing my mind. With the powers and then this…"

"We'll figure it out," Logan decided seeing that the color still hadn't returned to Scott's features, "How are you feeling?"

"A bit tired," Scott admitted honestly, his words falling to a faint breath, "but Hank said everything looks alright. He put me through another CAT scan after what happened."

"And?" Logan raised a curious brow thinking about all this lover had been through.

"The same," Scott shrugged his shoulders, "there's no change. The seizure must've been brought on by my anger. I felt everything building, spiraling out of control inside of me. There was this surge of power from within, wanting to escape, but then…well, it was like I was in the midst of an explosion, having it all rush out in one, swift moment. I tried to control it, but I was at war with myself and…"

"It's okay," Logan whispered leaning in to kiss Scott's forehead again, "we'll figure this out."

"Will we?" Scott asked sliding in closer to Logan. He felt Logan's arms surround him. Pressing his head in against Logan's chest he let out a long sigh, "Do you think we'll ever understand what she did to me? What they might've done to us?"

"Of course we will," Logan promised squeezing Scott tighter now that he was filled with his own questions about what was happening to Scott.

"I hope you're right," Scott sighed closing his eyes and settling into the moment, at ease in Logan's arms.

"I'm always right," Logan couldn't help, but tease keeping Scott close to him. Logan knew full well that more than anything he wanted Scott to have peace of mind, to feel safe again. "You should know not to doubt me."

"What was I ever thinking in believing otherwise?" Scott let out a small laugh that quickly turned into a yawn. A smile carried over his lips when Logan felt Scott relax. His lips parted, mouth allowing a small breath of contentment to spill over Logan's chest now that Scott was finally at ease free from whatever had overtaken him a short while ago.

"Sweet dreams," Logan whispered knowing only too well that while he and Scott had been trying to figure things out on their own that perhaps it was time to broaden their scope beyond Victor into discovering what had really taken place with Jean and those that had experimented on Scott and Logan in the past. It wasn't a road either man had been eager to travel down given what they'd known thus far, but in realizing what it could mean to their future together, Logan realized it was a journey that they would inevitable have to take one way or the other.


	8. Chapter 8

Sunlight filtered in through the window alerting Scott to the fact that it was morning all over again. He let out a small groan, rolling onto his stomach and reaching out across the bed for Logan. Much to his dismay he discovered that he was alone, wrapped up in pillows and blankets on their bed without the man he loved. Raising his head up Scott's blue eyes searched the room, hoping to discover Logan preparing to return to bed again, to join Scott in a lazy morning. A smile tickled over the corners of Scott's mouth, anticipating a day of lazy passion with Logan when suddenly Scott realized it was a school day.

"Shit," he cursed sitting upright on the bed and looking to the time. Discovering that it was almost ten, Scott realized he was very late for his first two classes. The third was halfway over, but if he was able to get moving he could still salvage the situation. Throwing the blankets off of his legs, Scott felt the beginnings of a panic overtake him when he continued to curse, "Shit, shit, shit!"

Rushing into the bathroom, Scott planned on getting his teeth brushed and a quick clean up job done. However, before he could follow through on such an act, he noticed a note taped to the mirror in big, bold, black letters.

"Get back into bed!" he read aloud, immediately recognizing the sloppy handwriting as Logan's. He reached for the note, pulling it off of the mirror and discovering there was writing on the back of the paper.

"I mean it," Scott continued to read to himself, "get back into bed. Class is covered."

"Covered," Scott repeated with confusion at Logan's cryptic words. Still not one to be deterred Scott walked over to the toilet and noticed a note on top of the lid.

"Damn it Scott," he mouthed reading the note and pulling the paper off of the toilet lid, "Get back into bed or else!"

"Lovely," Scott laughed lightly, seeing the tiny teeth that Logan had drawn on the bottom of the page in an attempt to appear menacing. They were scribbled on sloppily, done in a red marker, but they only served to amuse Scott after he'd finished up in the bathroom. Making his way over to the vanity, he spotted another note on the mirror.

"Don't make me kick your ass Summers," a blue post-it note warned over the center of the mirror.

"Please," Scott pulled the note down before noticing an envelope with his name on it on top of the dresser. "Seriously Logan this is a bit much."

Wondering what else Logan had planned, Scott reached for the envelope tearing into it half expecting another threatening letter warning him to get his ass back into bed or else Logan would inflict some kind of bodily harm upon him. However when Scott pulled open the top of the envelope he noticed green writing on the back of the envelope with a smiley face underneath the words.

"Reason enough to make you want to stay in bed the rest of the morning until I return," Scott read aloud, dipping his fingers into the envelope further to discover a few photos neatly tucked inside. Curious Scott began to turn them around, half anticipating to discover Logan's angry face glaring at him with blades distended in warning or even Logan flicking him off, but instead Scott noticed a half naked Logan standing in front of the bathroom mirror with Scott's digital camera in hand.

"What the….?" Scott's eyes widened as he flipped through the photos suddenly discovering the one that Logan had clearly taken after he'd discarded his jeans in the hopes of serving it up as the ultimate distraction for Scott. Gulping down, Scott practically choked at the sight of Logan's explicit photo. Scott had to admit that it had undoubtedly given him plenty of reasons to want to return to bed underneath the blankets. Still surprised by Logan's uncharacteristic move, Scott bit into his lower lip, immediately responding to Logan's brazen attempt at distraction. He stumbled backwards into the dresser, trying to quell his immediate reaction when he felt something fall off of the dresser onto the floor.

Looking down Scott spotted a book before him, a journal of sorts with a black binding. Curiosity carried over Scott wondering if perhaps it was another message from Logan, but before he could investigate it further, he was interrupted by the sound of tapping on the bedroom door. Reaching for his glasses on top of the dresser, Scott secured them in place, hoping to keep his rouse going long enough to pull Logan into the room with him for a little while. Thoughts of what he would do to Logan once inside caused the color to return to his cheeks, the amusement to settle in over his abdomen in realizing that despite all Logan's protests, the post-it notes and the photos were a clear sign that Scott had been rubbing off on Logan after all. Laughter carried up over the back of Scott's throat when he reached for the doorknob before him.

"I saw your notes and I swear Logan if you even think about being a tease after those photos you left me, then so help me I'm going to…" Scott mouthed opening the door in an attempt to deal with Logan's playful means of manipulation, but before he could throw out the indecent proposal that was on the tip of his tongue he realized it wasn't Logan at all. Seeing Charles eye him curiously, Scott gulped harder, his face growing a crimson shade with his mentor before him.

"I take it you were hoping I was someone else," Charles noted fighting to suppress the hint of amusement in his voice. "Is this a bad time Scott?"

"No," Scott replied bringing one hand up through his messy hair. He stepped back inviting Charles into the bedroom with a small gulp, "Sorry it's a bit chaotic in here, but I wasn't really expecting company considering that…"

"You're supposed to be resting," Charles nodded in understanding, "Logan left strict orders for you not to be disturbed this morning."

"He did?" Scott raised a curious brow before tucking the photos into his pajama pants pocket in order to avoid an uneasy situation with Charles in the room.

"He's rather bossy when he wants to be, but for what it's worth I think he made the right decision in allowing you to rest. The color's returned to your face. You look like you're feeling better this morning," Charles noted circling around the room in a moment of contemplation.

"Yeah," Scott continued to run his fingers through his hair nervously, "I am. Much better actually."

"I'm glad to hear it," Charles smiled politely, his blue eyes filled with questions he hadn't been brave enough to ask in the moment between them.

"Look…I'm sorry about yesterday," Scott cleared his throat uneasily, "I didn't mean for…well, you know…"

"There's no need for an apology," Charles waved his hand dismissively, "at least not on your end. When we were talking I wasn't exactly being as supportive as I should've been to what you were saying. You had every right to feel betrayed and…"

"No," Scott shook his head firmly knowing the night before he'd overstepped his boundaries with his mentor, "I was out of line. I know that now and I'm sorry I said what I said. I know you were just trying to protect me."

"Even so I should've told you about Logan," Charles conceded with another breath, "You deserved that much from me. I'm sorry."

"I understand why you were trying to keep me from the memory," Scott sighed taking a seat on the edge of the bed, "Even though I don't necessarily agree with your decision, I know that you've always been looking out for me. You've taken care of me when I had nothing, gave me a reason and purpose, so I was wrong to doubt you. I was out of line yesterday and I'm sorry."

"Scott, again you don't have to," Charles opened his mouth in protest.

"Yes I do," Scott rubbed his hands together nervously, "After all you've done for me over the years, I was out of line. I never, ever should've accused you of all those horrible things. After all the time we lost with one another when I thought you were gone, the last thing I wanted to do was argue with you."

"Scott," Charles began with an uneasiness in his tone.

"When I heard the news of what happened and I thought that Jean destroyed you, that you were dead…," Scott choked up on his words, "it did something to me. I hated myself for bringing this upon everyone. When I thought it was because of me that you were…"

"Scott, you weren't responsible for any of this," Charles frowned sensing the tears threatening to reveal themselves in Scott's eyes behind his glasses.

"It felt that way. You have no idea how many times I found myself wishing I could turn back the hands of time, that I could somehow go back to change things. I thought if only I'd done things differently…" Scott choked up on his emotions, "It doesn't matter now though. You're alive and you're here. That's what matters. That's what everyone needed, what each one of us had been praying for…"

"We were devastated when we believed you were gone as well Scott. Losing you tore our foundation to pieces and…" Charles explained drawing in a breath, "if I ever made you feel like life without you would be any different than that, then I'm sorry. I never wanted you to feel as if you didn't belong, as if you weren't a part of our team, of our family."

"Family," Scott repeated with the beginnings of a smile carrying over the corners of his mouth, "you're the closest thing to a father that I've ever known growing up. You've taught me so much, showed me so many things that have shaped the person I've become. If I hadn't had you, then there's no telling where I would've wound up in my life. Everything that's ever meant anything in my life is because of your guidance and support…"

"Scott, this isn't necessary," Charles cleared his throat, unable to remain settled in Scott's declaration.

"Yes it is. I feel horrible for what I did yesterday and even if it was beyond my control, I never, ever should've spoken to you that way. I know better. I was wrong and I realize that," Scott took in a breath, "What happened it wasn't me-not the real me. I know how ridiculous that might sound, but so much has been weighing in upon me. Lately I have been consumed by these thoughts-by everything that's happened to me and in my frustration I've been seeking out answers. I've been trying to understand it all, but I've gotten nowhere with it. For the life of me I can't figure out what's happening to me and it terrifies me."

"Because of what happened with Jean?" Charles questioned already knowing the answer.

Scott nodded, "And because of Stryker-because of the experiments they ran on me. When I lost my powers I started to get flashes of the past, memories of the torture, of what I'd endured. At the time I wasn't certain what they were, but now…"

"There's no hiding from them in your subconscious any longer," Charles frowned when Scott's face twisted with anguish.

"What they did to me…" Scott stopped himself with a shudder, "I know it's nothing compared to the ways they tortured Logan, but at the same time I just feel like…"

"Like what?" Charles questioned.

"Like there are so many unanswered questions. There are so many pieces that are still missing, things that I haven't processed just yet and…Mystique said something to Logan. She told him something about…" Scott paused uncertain in how to approach the subject with Charles.

"About what?" Charles asked patiently.

"About me," Scott divulged at long last, "about what's been happening to all of us. About the reason why we were all taken to that facility to begin with. I know it was a long time ago, but there are so many questions-things that I know you've been wondering about as well. When they had you captive…"

"There are a lot of uncertainties in my mind as well about the experience," Charles explained quietly, "A great many questions that still remain."

"But you know some of the answers, do you not? You were there for longer then I was the last time. Certainly they must've shown you something, they must've revealed their agenda and…" Scott's voice cracked with concern.

"I don't think now is the time to began traveling down that road Scott. In the search for answers it's easy to cloud your mind with the past instead of focusing on what's happening in the present," Charles counseled him. "It's a temptation that one could surrender to and in doing so they lose sight of what's ahead of them."

"I'm not looking to bury myself in the past, but rather I want to understand," Scott sighed heavily, "Things weren't the same after Jean did what she did. Everyone ended up changing. We all were impacted by her madness, by Phoenix…"

"Which we will all have to deal with in healing," Charles added, "the kind of healing that we can only do by focusing on this one day at a time.

"I don't know if I can live that way," Scott blurted out honestly, "given what I remember and what transpired after my last encounter with Jean…"

"There's something you aren't telling me about when you went to her. Something has indeed changed," Charles deduced causing Scott to tense up knowing that things troubling him couldn't be hidden forever especially after his outburst the previous evening.

"I don't know what's happening to me, but I'm different. I'm not the same. At first I thought it was nothing, but then as time goes on, I'm seeing that I'm not me. It's like I've become something that's someone else," Scott finally blurted out realizing that the truth was a burden too heavy to bear for him any longer. He brought his hand up to his glasses preparing to reveal his secret to Charles after weeks of trying to conceal it from his mentor.

"Hank told me you've asked to your medical records sealed," Charles noted in an attempt to keep the conversation going between them, "After the results of your first CAT scan were in he made it evidently clear that you were very specific about not sharing them with…"

"He told you about them against my wishes, didn't he?" Scott frowned knowing of the promise Hank had made to keep Scott's secret. Although it had been asking a lot, Hank had been very sympathetic and understanding to what was troubling Scott given that neither one of them could explain all that had taken place.

"He didn't have to," Charles continued to explain before Scott could get angry with Hank for betraying his wishes, "I saw the truth in his response when I'd questioned it. I was worried about you for a while, but after last night I knew that I couldn't keep skirting around this issue between us Scott."

"How long have you known?" Scott asked taking in a nervous breath.

"Not long," Charles paused giving Scott a long once over, "how about you?"

"I had suspicions about what she might've done to me, but I was too afraid to investigate it further. It wasn't until Victor abducted me that I realized there was a possibility things had changed," Scott exhaled slowly, allowing his fears to take a backseat to the moment. He rubbed his palms together nervously, taking in a long, exaggerated breath knowing that everything would change when the truth finally revealed itself. There would be no more hiding once Scott revealed the secret he'd been holding onto since his return to the school.

With a nervous pinch in the center of his stomach Scott reached up and pulled his glasses away from his face, revealing his deep, blue eyes to his mentor at long last. He braced himself for the surprised reaction from Charles, but when Charles looked to him with the same, sympathetic, controlled, knowing glance he'd been met with before a great many times in the past, Scott felt a momentary ease and continued to reveal his secret, "When Jean took my powers away from me at the lake I'd never anticipated their return. I'd accepted that I was no longer a part of this life. I moved on, even put together another life for myself, trying to rebuild with what was left."

"In Ohio," Charles noted.

Scott nodded, "Yeah, I worked in accounting and was doing rather well. At least that's what I thought before I met up with Logan again. After that everything changed. I realized what I was missing in denying myself the truth about who I am. I knew in my heart that with or without my powers I couldn't escape the truth inside of me."

"That you belonged back here?" Charles inquired, seemingly calm in the wake of Scott's revelation.

"At first I wasn't sure what to expect. When I could see the colors, feel the world around me coming in from a different perspective, I thought I'd imagined it. After a while I realized that I was able to see everything around me like this without fear, without consequences," Scott motioned to his eyes, feeling them adjust to the daylight that filtered in from the window. He peered down at Charles momentarily before focusing on the day outside of the walls of the school. Rising to his feet Scott crossed the room, trying to quell the nervousness inside of him. "I thought that everything was going to be like this forever and I'd accepted it."

"Which is why you ran away," Charles deduced, "why you felt you couldn't come back after the encounter with Jean."

Scott nodded.

"I never anticipated having my powers back again, but then when I was held captive…" Scott shivered at the memory that lingered on his mind, "When Victor had tried to kill me, I knew that something had changed. Something was different, but I didn't want to think about what it would mean. I just wanted to escape, yet…"

"You found yourself met with a new challenge," Charles nodded in an attempt at understanding. "Magneto mentioned he'd found you at the compound. He said that you had been with your powers at the time of the escape. I'd just assumed that…"

"I can control it now," Scott lowered the glasses in his hand to place them on top of the dresser beside him. He turned around to face Charles fully with desperate eyes, "at least that's the impression I'm getting after the CAT scans. The brain damage is no longer an issue. It's as if it never was considering that it's…"

"Something I never anticipated happening," Charles noted in his best business as usual voice, offering support to Scott in his confession, "but after Jean…"

"Do you think she…?" Scott questioned painfully biting back on his fears, "Do you think it's possible that somehow when she stole my powers away from me that she healed me? After all this time of being broken, of not being able to control it…"

"Everything we know dictates that isn't possible, but given that we live a life of impossibilities Scott…" Charles' words tapered off.

"I thought she was trying to destroy me, that she ripped my powers away from me to torture me, to make me suffer for…" Scott's words escaped him. He gazed out the window once again.

"For what?" Charles inquired.

"Logan," Scott breathed shamefully, "because she knew about Logan and I. I didn't realize that it might've come to her at the time before we lost her, but after she started haunting me I knew that she knew."

"Scott," Charles opened his mouth in protest.

"She felt the lust in my heart. She had to have known that he and I felt the connection, that we…" Scott shivered bringing his arms around his body tightly, "she must've felt it, yet when she came to me again-when she took my powers from me I was broken, torn to pieces, but over time I became…"

"Stronger," Charles finished for him.

Scott nodded, "I can't explain it, but it feels like I can turn it on and off. I couldn't do that before, but that's only the beginning. There are other things, other changes that I hadn't anticipated-things that there are no reason for. I never should've been able to do what I can do now, but I'm able to. Every day I'm changing-I know something's inside of me, turning me into someone else, yet…"

"What Scott?" Charles inquired sensing Scott's hesitation.

"I don't know what it's leading to," Scott closed his eyes and let out a long breath, "I don't know whether to be thankful and trust it or be weary and fearful for what could be around the corner. It all seems too good to be true, too far from where Jean should've wanted me to be with what I…"

"I don't know what to think about this," Charles took in a nervous breath before placing his hands on the arms of his wheelchair, "but I'd like to believe that in spite of all the misery Phoenix surrounded herself with that there was something inside of her that was still very much Jean. I'd like to believe that there was good that propelled everyone to returning to what they once were…"

Scott eyes snapped open, his mouth preparing to say something more when he witnessed Charles pulling himself up from the chair, his legs positioned on the ground before him. In a few seconds of shaky contemplation, Charles was on his feet again making a small movement towards Scott.

"There is no other explanation," Charles informed him with a patient, understanding tone, "I wish I had the answers, but…"

"She healed you as well," Scott's eyes widened with surprise, "All this time you've known that…"

"I wasn't sure of anything. When they came for me I had a great many questions much like you do right now, but in finding the answers…" Charles sighed heavily, "it seems that you and I are both in the same situation."

"So you've been pretending that nothing's changed? You've been hiding the truth just as…?" Scott couldn't help, but open his mouth in stunned realization with each step Charles took.

"Just as you have been because like you I've felt it would be easier on everyone if I understood it before I revealed it to them," Charles softened his voice. "I've carried on with the deception in the hopes of protecting them, of keeping them out of harm's way just as you have. Sometimes to protect the ones we love, we must be inclined to deceive them."

"Deceptions," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "It would seem that those were the very things that created this situation to begin with."

"Regardless of their repercussions at times we're forced to make difficult decisions, to submit to choices that aren't optimal to what we want the world to be," Charles continued in a poignant tone, "We are forced to face a painful moment where we can continue down the same path we've been on for most of our lives or we make a sacrifice to save those who mean the most to us."

"Like Jean did," Scott thought back to Jean's attempt to save them all back by the lake. He turned his attention to Charles and sighed, "Out of her sacrifice chaos followed."

"In that chaos we were given a second chance at living again-at becoming something greater than we'd imagined," Charles took another step forward. "Although we mourn the loss of Jean, we both know that the gifts she's given us are beyond anything we'd ever imagined."

"But are they truly from her or…?" Scott's words tapered off.

"I can see you've been weighing this out in your mind for quite some time Scott," Charles pondered aloud, "but in seeing that I'd hoped in time you would at least come to me instead of trying to face this on your own."

"I'm not on my own. I have Logan," Scott answered simply, a smile of relief carrying over him in the moment at the thought of his lover.

"Logan," Charles nodded quietly, "then I anticipate he knows everything you've been dealing with?"

"He's been here for me from the beginning of the change. When I was powerless he stood by me, pulled me out of my comfort zone to realize where I belonged," Scott took a step in closer to Charles, his blue eyes filled with questions and curiosities.

"There are a great many answers we're all seeking out Scott," Charles informed him with a sudden seriousness, "stemming from questions that may lead us to places we aren't ready to go."

"With Jean," Scott lowered his eyes, feeling a nagging guilt at the mention of his former flame.

"Jean's descent into madness doesn't erase the woman she once was," Charles reached out to place his hand on Scott's shoulder supportively. "There was a lot of good in her, a lot of wonderful things that stemmed from the both of you being together-things that might not make sense just yet, but with some clarity and time they will."

"It still doesn't explain this," Scott motioned between them, "If this was because of her, then how did this happen? Was she truly the key to bringing these changes or was it something darker? Did it have to do with that place you were being held? Where Logan and I were all those years ago?"

"Scott, I know that you have questions right now, but…" Charles opened his mouth to attempt to soothe Scott's concerns.

"Are we supposed to just accept that this is what we're meant for in starting over? Do we embrace it readily? Reject it?" Scott continued to ponder aloud. "Are we wrong to consider trusting it? Should we simply accept it or challenge everything that's happening, fight to understand it?"

"I think you already know the answer to your questions Scott," Charles met his eyes again, "You know the path that you must take on this quest for information."

"I have to go back there," Scott bit back on his words, "I have to return to where it all began. I need to see…"

"Going down that path will bring up new questions, leading to other answers," Charles couldn't help, but frown. "in doing that you may rediscover things that you aren't prepared for-things that aren't desirable."

"If it's the only way to find clarity and peace of mind, then who am I to reject it?" Scott couldn't help, but turn his attention to Charles again, "Unless of course you already know the answers."

"Even I do not have all the answers Scott. I can merely provide you with support and encouragement in hoping to bring reason into the situation, but…" Charles added quickly.

"You won't stop me from seeking out the truth," Scott half questioned, "you won't try to stop me from taking that journey into the past?"

"Once you open the door, you need to be certain that you're ready for what may lay ahead. To gain the insight you're longing for, you may uncover a darkness you weren't prepared for," Charles took a step back, his gaze returning to the wheelchair he'd been seated in previously. "Once you know the truth, it will be harder to shut it out."

"I don't want to shut it out. I want to know what's happening to me, what will become of me," Scott continued with a small sigh, "What I'll be capable of."

"You know in your heart what you are capable of Scott. Accept the gift that Jean has given you in offering you a second chance. Most aren't as lucky as we've been in being granted that," Charles returned to his chair, settling into it reluctantly, "We can work together to unlock the secrets of what's happened if you would like, but in doing so we'll have to dedicate everything to the discovery process."

"Then let's do it," Scott decided eagerly, "Let's get started on going back to where this began-to seeing what's happening and…"

"There will be no room for distractions," Charles explained motioning to Logan's leather jacket draped over the bottom of the bed. "If you are going to immerse yourself in understanding and clarity, then you're going to need to do this all the way Scott. You'll have to let go of the things that you think you know about the man you are and…"

"And what?" Scott couldn't help but frown, "Are you trying to say that I have to give up Logan?"

"I'm saying that if you make the choice to return to the truth, then you may find that other things in your life as it stands may not fit into that journey," Charles explained cryptically before turning to Scott again, "You must decide what it is you value more in the discovery process the life you left behind or the one that's readily available to you ready to have you begin again."

XXXXX

Logan looked to the book sitting on top of the desk, staring at it as if it would leap up and bite him if he held it for far too long. Although he'd hated to admit it, he wasn't prepared for this situation at all. Yes, he'd promised himself he would get through it for Scott's benefit, but it wasn't him. He could easily tear an entire army to shreds with minimal effort, could send buildings crashing down to the ground around him in a matter of minutes, yet two and a half hours into teaching Scott's classes, he found himself completely out of his element. Now seated in front of the advanced English class, he couldn't help, but feel slightly intimidated in the moment. It was something that the mighty Wolverine would never admit to, but with scrutinizing eyes and whispers carrying over the unusually silent room, Logan couldn't help, but wish for some kind of reprieve. Raising his chin ever so slightly, he noticed the way that the students were watching him expectantly, looking even more eager for instruction than the last class had been. Yes, before it had been early and the other classes seemed happy not to have Scott in for the morning, but this class-Scott's honor students seemed to be hanging on bated breath waiting for him to screw up somehow.

Clearing his throat, Logan attempted to sound calm and authoritative in the moment, "So what is it exactly you were all working on before today?"

"We were constructing the beginnings of our thesis papers for the semester," one of the students explained pointedly. Her cheeks puffed up in a smug expression, making Logan really regret even bothering to cover for Scott in the first place. That was his first mistake. Then again, why had he allowed Marie to leave earlier as well? She had offered to help him get through the day, to easily make the transition for him into classroom instructor while Scott was in bed.

"Bed," he thought to himself, suddenly very envious of the position he'd left Scott in wrapped up in blankets and pillows, savoring whatever deliciously wonderful dream that had him smiling this morning. When Logan had awakened to that stupid alarm clock Scott kept at the side of their bed, guiding him up each and every morning with a jump start and a skip to the showers, Logan had thought of the many times he'd wanted to slice it in half. Yes, it sounded like a wonderful fantasy, one that he'd come close to making a reality this morning when Scott hadn't awakened. At first Logan thought of nudging Scott, of making him turn the damned thing off and appease Logan's return to sleep, but in remembering the night Scott had, Logan had opted a different approach. He'd held back on destroying the alarm clock, instead opting to unplug it before climbing out of bed. He'd gotten cleaned up, left a bunch of warning notes for Scott and headed down to class. It had been completely uncharacteristic for Logan, but it was manageable-at least it had been before A.P. English began.

"Sounds fascinating," Logan managed to get out, returning to the conversation he'd opened up with the class. While he didn't care a thing about thesis papers or anything else that followed down that line of discussion, he knew he had to think fast. He still had about a half an hour to fill with something, anything to keep the interest of the students who were more interested in theology and great classic literature instead of battles and defensive strategies. Damn Scott for having a meltdown the night before. Though at this rate Logan was going to have one before the day was over.

"Sure," the girl who had responded rolled her eyes. She eyed him with heavy scrutiny, her nails tapping on the top of her desk as Logan cleared his throat.

"So what else has everyone been working on?" Logan questioned looking away from the student who'd spoken up. "See any good movies lately?"

"Movies?" the girl frowned back at him, "Seriously?"

"What?" Logan shrugged his shoulders, "Works of fiction can make great movies."

"Like what?" another student questioned from the other side of the room.

"Like this one," Logan reached for the book on the desk. He held it up, waving it around in the air for a moment or two. "Anyone see this movie?"

"Have you?" the stubborn, impossible girl before him had questioned.

"Actually as a matter of fact I have," Logan stood up, hoping to convey a presence of authority in the room. He circled around the desk, hoping to prove himself. It seemed to do the trick when half of the students sat up straighter in fear, the other half intrigued by his approach, "and I must say it was pretty good. Although when I read the book years ago I found it to be a bit boring."

"You? Read books?" the girl before him questioned with a huff, "And here I thought all you knew how to do was fight."

"Combat is important to master, but it all begins in here," Logan brought his hand up to his head, "If you aren't able to process everything inside with knowledge, then you're always going to be two steps behind everyone else. Reading is important."

"What's the last book you read?" another student inquired, smiling up at him curiously.

"Honestly," he paused leaning back against the desk and seeing the way all eyes were upon him. Yes, it had been uncomfortable, but for a brief, flickering moment of ease, Logan found that he'd captured the attention of almost everyone in the room, gaining their curiosities over their scrutiny, "I believe it was The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud. Perhaps you've all heard of him."

"You've read Freud?" another student asked with wide eyes.

"Sure, who hasn't?" Logan shrugged his shoulders before redirecting his attention to his biggest critic now that she'd grown unusually silent, "Have you?"

"Freud's horribly overrated," she waved her hand dismissively.

"Overrated or not, he certainly put a lot of food for thought out there," Logan circled around Scott's desk to take a seat once again, "but then again, isn't that what learning is all about? Taking ideas that others have, learning from them, expanding on the knowledge and forming your own opinions on the material?"

"So what other books have you read?" another student questioned, leaning forward across the front of her desk with obvious interest.

"Plenty of them," Logan confessed with the beginnings of a smile carrying over his features, "they're good for keeping you entertained especially on winter nights up north in Canada when the last thing you want to do is go outside."

It didn't take long before discussion picked up in the classroom, bringing it to life with bristling conversation about books and their value versus the impact of Hollywood and it's eagerness to transform a classic into a big budget film. While it was a simple conversation, one that Logan hadn't really given much thought to, things had picked up, transforming from a tough crowd, to a relaxed environment where the students all offered their opinions and let go of seriousness for a while. Each one of them contributed, even the girl who had been ready to shred him to pieces at the beginning of class. Before Logan knew it the class was over, sending the students laughing and smiling out into the hallway to enjoy the rest of their afternoon. Circling around to the board behind him, Logan couldn't help, but savor the small victory, appreciating it for all it was worth when he heard a voice from behind him.

"You weren't at all what I'd anticipated when I walked in here today, but I guess you're not that bad," the girl who had been ragging Logan on most of the class finally admitted giving him that same, scrutinizing look she'd carried with her earlier in the class. "I suppose it wouldn't be completely awful if you were here again another day or so."

"Thanks for the support," Logan fought to contain his amusement in his personal teaching victory for the day, "I appreciate it."

"Sure," the girl gave him another look before exiting the classroom and leaving Logan to finish up.

"Bravo," Scott's voice caught Logan off guard when Logan looked up to see his lover standing before him dressed in a prim and proper black and white pinstriped button down shirt with a black turtleneck underneath and khaki slacks.

"How long have you been out there?" Logan questioned curiously, seeing the amusement overtaking Scott.

"Long enough to see you talk one hell of a good game Logan. They were actually listening to you and learning," Scott smiled back at him, "although I don't ever recall you mentioning reading War and Peace before."

"I saw it on your bookshelves once," Logan shrugged simply. He circled around the desk bringing his thick arms across his oversized chest, "I noticed it was collecting dust and I opened the front cover. That should count for something."

"I suppose," Scott conceded making a small movement into the room, "although the way you worked over this crowd, I'm starting to think you're a natural."

"Are you feeling feverish?" Logan questioned bridging the distance between them and reaching out to touch Scott's forehead. "I thought I left explicit orders for you to stay in bed."

"I received them," Scott couldn't help, but offer up with a crooked smirk, "and then some. I found your photos."

"Photos?" Logan questioned feigning innocence while adjusting the rolled up sleeves on his burgundy colored shirt. A low growl built up in the back of his throat, a sexy, cryptic smirk carrying over his lips in an upward press, "What photos?"

"You know what photos I'm referring to," Scott wiggled his brow suggestively from behind his glasses, "They were a real eye opener this morning."

"You were supposed to be in bed," Logan reminded him simply, "I told you that…"

"I know what you told me, but at the same time I couldn't let go of this sudden curiosity to see how you were holding up in the classroom. When I ran into Marie on the way down here, I figured you'd be in over your head," Scott divulged reaching out to slide his arms around Logan's shoulders eagerly, "but I must admit I was very impressed. Do you know that student who just left has yet to say something nice to me?"

"It is the first week," Logan shrugged bringing his arm around Scott's lean, muscular torso, "maybe it takes her a while to warm up to new things."

"She told me my methods were sophomoric at best on the first day," Scott couldn't help, but laugh, "I suppose that stems from the fact that her IQ is twice what mine is, but still…."

"Wow twice the size of yours," Logan's eyes widened, feigning surprise, "Now I am impressed."

"Very funny," Scott poked him in the ribs. Detangling himself from Logan's arms, he moved to the door again, bringing it to a close behind him, "though I have to admit that right now I really didn't come down here to discuss the size of my…IQ."

"What's on your mind?" Logan questioned seeing Scott reach down to carefully lock the classroom door. He reached up to twist the blinds on the window to a close before facing Logan once again.

"If you really have to ask, then perhaps I haven't been living up to your expectations in the spontaneous lover department," Scott reached up to tear the glasses from his face. His blue eyes beckoned Logan, drawing him out from within when Scott winked at him, "We did after all only touch on the surface of that detention fantasy you've had going the other day."

"Detention fantasy," Logan repeated with a hard gulp. His eyes issued Scott a long once over, unable to take him in fast enough in the moment. In an instant, Logan stepped back sitting on the corner of Scott's sturdy desk all the while revealing his teeth in a slow, building smirk, "Hmm…I vaguely recall something along those lines."

"Vaguely," Scott shook his head feigning insult, "that's not very encouraging."

"So enlighten me," Logan leaned back ever so slightly. He stretched his legs out across the classroom floor, his jean clad thighs parting to invite Scott to step in closer to him. With lust pumping his blood harder through his veins Logan wiggled his brow suggestively and smirked wider then before.

"I'm sure Marie told you that now begins my prep hour," Scott set his glasses down on one of the desktops. Bringing his hands up over the front of his button down shirt, Scott kept his eager eyes on Logan's, hoping to entice Logan into taking the bait he was offering.

"Prep hour," Logan repeated tossing out another long perusal in Scott's direction. He leaned back on the desk further, propping himself up on his elbows when Scott discarded the far too proper pinstriped shirt he'd donned for such an occasion. Logan licked his lips, unable to repress the sudden thoughts consuming him when Scott turned around to place the black and white material on the desk beside his glasses. Logan's gaze dipped down, taking an involuntary glance at Scott's perfectly toned bottom, remembering only too well how much he enjoyed watching it flex and contract, moving with the same grace and fluidity that Scott put into everything he touched. Yes, it was certainly a distraction, Logan reasoned when Scott seemed to feel Logan's eyes upon him. Scott stood upright, wrinkling his nose when he turned around to face Logan fully.

"Like what you see?" Scott couldn't help, but question at Logan's response.

"So far," Logan stretched out across the desk, leaning back a bit further, "So what about this prep hour?"

"It's where I take the time for preparations in lesson planning before my next class," Scott informed him with a simple shrug of his shoulders and took a step forward.

"Which is when?" Logan's tongue ran over the tip of his tooth, thinking of how Scott was still dressed in far too many layers to even begin indulging the fantasy that had played out in his mind for the last few weeks.

"It's been cancelled," Scott explained simply, "I figured you've been through enough today, so you deserved the rest of the afternoon off."

"Off," Logan repeated clearing his throat and eyeing Scott intently.

Although Logan knew he should make a move, he found himself eager to see how far Scott would push the envelope first. He felt the first wave of Scott's desire come crashing down over him, hanging in the air with a thick, enticing aroma. Granted it was a far cry from the man Scott had been when they'd first started fooling around with one another at the school, but Logan liked it. A few days ago they'd experimented in role playing, having Logan in the submissive, naughty fantasy, but now perched upon Scott's desk, thinking of all the ways he'd like to reverse their roles, Logan couldn't help but feel enthralled. He cleared his throat, shifted on the desk, feeling his jeans far too restrictive when Scott's hands settled in on his thighs.

"I thought maybe we could share a few lesson plans with one another, or maybe…" Scott leaned forward, breath hovering over the side of Logan's neck. Scott's fingers fanned out over Logan's powerful thigh, curving inward with naughty intentions.

"Yes?" Logan asked lazily, taking in a labored breath. He closed his eyes, losing himself to the sensations of Scott bristling over his skin, enveloping him in desire all over again.

"We could stick to a rigid, structured lesson plan or we could improvise," Scott's tongue traced over the side of Logan's neck, nipping and suckling the skin when Scott's hand settled in over the center of Logan's lap. "Your choice."

"My choice?" Logan took in a deep, intoxicating inhale, savoring the mark he'd made upon Scott since they'd reunited. There was no mistaking that Scott was his in every way imaginable. Yes, they'd started out lusting one another, but beyond the lust even now Logan knew it ran so much deeper between them. Their connection was one of the most intense things Logan had experienced in his life and there was no denying that every time Scott was near him he couldn't stop wanting more.

"That's right," Scott pulled back ever so slightly, "Just say the word and we'll make it happen."

"You'll do anything I ask of you?" Logan wiggled his brow suggestively, his hand pressing into the desk beneath him, thinking about all the times Scott had shunned the idea of christening it in the past. Yes the other day they'd engaged in some enthralling activities with one another in the classroom, but the desk was off limits. Scott hadn't wanted to chance things when they'd immersed themselves in fantasy. Today however, Logan found himself wanting to fling the books to the ground, strip the desktop of everything else upon it completely and then do the same with Scott. Once Scott was naked and ready, Logan would toss him over the top of the sacred desk and show him a whole new meaning of passion and dominance.

"Give me an order Logan," Scott mouthed, biting down on Logan's earlobe. One hand rose to the center of Logan's chest, the other connecting with the zipper on his pants in a possessive grasp, "Tell me what you want me to do."

"I think you know what I like," Logan arched backwards. He tipped his head to the side, feeling Scott's mouth hovering over his in a teasing press.

"Say it and I won't refuse," Scott slurred dipping down to kiss Logan eagerly.

Logan reached out securing his fingers through Scott's hair, tangling it tightly. Biting down on Scott's lip, he felt the first taste of blood skimming through the surface. Scott winced slightly, his body tensing up with the flicker of pain before Logan's tongue traced over the wound, knowing it had already sealed itself. Still in having the taste of Scott on his lips, Logan pushed himself upon Scott roughly forcing Scott's mouth open wider to accommodate Logan's thirst for him. Logan's tongue thrust inside taking a greedy, lingering taste of the wet heat the surrounded him. Returning the intensity, Scott's fingers scraped over Logan's chest roughly. Logan growled, body brought to life by Scott's other hand working down the zipper on his jeans, by Scott's fingers sliding in underneath the material.

"You'd better not because I've got big plans for you," Logan growled, reaching out to seize Scott possessively now that Scott had managed to break the day away from the mundane to offer up temptation in it's sweetest form on top of Scott's simple, otherwise boring wooden desk.


	9. Chapter 9

"You really have a thing against turtleneck shirts, don't you?" Scott questioned breathlessly turning this attention to the shredded remains of his clothing on the floor. He wrinkled his nose letting out a long, exaggerated sigh when he reached for the tattered material, knowing that Logan's claws had reduced it to nothing more than fabric scraps. He shook his head, raising his chin up just enough to see amusement carry over Logan's satisfied features. It was bad enough that Logan had shattered Scott's paperweight on his desk before they'd gone at it on the desktop with one another, but then again they'd made a mess of things in the process of being together. Logan had been relentless forcing Scott down without room for protest. He'd violently torn at Scott's clothing shredding the shirt that Scott's blue eyes were now focused on. Yes, Scott's pants had made it out of the moment unscathed, but only after Scott had pleaded the case of how walking through the halls naked wouldn't be good for either of them. Now, however, in remembering his earlier protests against christening the desk, Scott could almost feel the rumble of laughter building up in the back of Logan's throat knowing full well that he'd won that battle between them. He'd gotten his way in having his desktop fantasy become a reality for them.

"I have a thing against your turtleneck shirts," Logan corrected with a rumble of laughter from his position behind Scott. They were settled in on the classroom floor leaning back against the front wall after one of the legs on Scott's desk had given out due to the force Logan had put upon it. Now as Scott looked to the lopsided desk being propped up by books, he realized he'd have a lot of explaining to do in the future. Still in being with Logan, Scott was willing to put off his worries long enough to focus on the one thing that did matter with Logan.

"What did they ever do to you?" Scott couldn't help, but laugh while resting his damp head on Logan's powerful chest. Wrapped up in one of the blankets Scott had previously kept tucked away in the storage closet, Scott couldn't help, but find himself increasingly amused with the shards of fabric that rolled over the center of his palm. He felt Logan reach for it, pulling it out of his hand and tossing it across the classroom into the trash bin effortlessly.

"They're restrictive as hell and quite frankly," Logan coiled his arm around Scott possessively, securing Scott over his chest, "they aren't all that flattering. They don't highlight your best assets."

"I didn't realize my chest was my best asset," Scott raising his head up to meet Logan's eyes with a sudden curiosity.

"It's not, but I just don't like them on you," Logan's fingers danced across the skin of Scott's sculpted cheekbones, sliding into his damp hair. A smirk carried over Logan's features when he dipped down to run his tongue over the crease between Scott's lips leisurely. The movement caused a small murmur to rise up from deep within Scott, sliding out into Logan when Logan's hold on Scott tightened, squeezing him against his chest more completely. As they parted, Logan couldn't help but smirk at the color that had returned to Scott's face with the kiss, "Truthfully I prefer you in a lot less."

"What you prefer isn't always appropriate Logan," Scott's blue eyes seemed to melt at the suggestion, "as least not in the classroom."

"I happen to think the classroom is the perfect place for us to…" Logan's brow wiggled suggestively.

"So I've noticed," Scott settled in over Logan's chest, appreciating the warmth of Logan's arms around him, "I'm going to have one hell of a time explaining the desk, you know?"

"I was subbing for you today. Frustration could've gotten the best of me," Logan shrugged with a rumble of laughter building in his tone, "The way I see it, no one would even question the fact that one of the legs broke off or that…"

"It's splintered down the middle with three distinct slashes and on the side are another set of slashes that give an idea of positioning and…" Scott opened his mouth in protest only to feel Logan place his index finger over the center of Scott's lips to silence him.

"Again, all a part of my aggressive nature. Put me in a room with scholars and prose and it's bound to get to my head," Logan winked down at him, "No one would question my getting in an uproar over Shakespeare now would they?"

"They aren't as easily persuaded by you as I am," Scott couldn't help, but smile.

"If it was easy persuading you, we would've been this way a long time ago," Logan wrinkled his nose at Scott, "You're damn near impossible most of the time except when we're like this."

"That's because being passive isn't normally in my nature. Yes, I might be willing to submit to things behind closed doors, but in public I need to be in charge. I have to have control Logan. You need to understand that," Scott confessed with a sudden seriousness in his voice. "I have to call the shots or else…"

"You get into an uproar," Logan nodded slowly, "I see that."

"It's just who I am. If I don't do what I was meant to do people can get hurt and.." Scott paused feeling an uneasiness overtake him. "Never mind. You get what I'm saying."

"Of course I do Slim," Logan hesitated contemplating his words, "and although I'm not usually one for following orders, well, you're the exception to that."

"Yeah right," Scott shot him a look of disbelief. "You have had a real problem with authority and…"

"I didn't say I wouldn't argue," Logan corrected with a hint of mischief in his voice, "but I would follow you into hell and back if you asked it of me Scott. I trust your instincts completely."

"That's debatable," Scott issued him a disbelieving look, "given your history with insubordination…"

"Just because I argue with you doesn't mean that I'm not listening to what you have to say Scott," Logan arched a brow, giving Scott a long once over.

"You still suck at taking orders at times," Scott mouthed opening his mouth to say something more, but he rethought the notion. Instead he focused on his desk once again, "That's going to be a topic of conversation soon."

"I told you no one will question my having an outburst," Logan shrugged readily.

"Maybe not, but still I'm sure the staff is going to be wondering about…" Scott conceded settling in against Logan more completely.

"Half of the staff here isn't sure how to take me, so I'm pretty sure if I say I was pissed off and the desk was the recipient of my rage, no one is going to question it," Logan leaned back into the wall, pulling Scott in closer to him.

"Good thing I heal faster then I used to otherwise we'd have a lot of explaining to do," Scott thought to the exquisite way Logan's teeth had imprinted on his neck time and time again in their earlier moments.

"I miss being able to mark you like that," Logan traced his finger over the smooth skin of Scott's neck, "Not that I want to leave a lasting impression, but at the same time seeing you trying to cover up a hickey…"

"With the turtlenecks that you love to destroy," Scott wrinkled his nose in response, a hint of amusement carrying over his tone.

"Hey, I have no qualms about claiming ownership when it's something that's rightfully mine," Logan leaned forward to drop a teasing nip over Scott's shoulder.

"I'm not arguing the point, but if we keep destroying the classroom," Scott bit down on his lower lip to repress the involuntary moan that carried over him, "well, I have to tell you sooner or later we're going to get busted if we keep this up with one another."

"What are they going to do? Suspend us?" Logan chortled with a small howl, bringing his hand down over Scott's spine, imprinting Scott into all of his senses.

"Cute," Scott raised his head up again, "but seriously we probably shouldn't make a habit of this."

"Why not?" Logan curved his mouth in protest.

"Because sooner or later I won't have a desk, nor will I be able to walk into this classroom without thinking about sex and you," Scott replied honestly, his words coming out in a low, eager breath. Sliding his hand up and over Logan's heated skin, he couldn't help, but dip forward tracing a line over Logan's perfectly contoured chest with his tongue, "It could completely ruin my reputation around here."

"What reputation is that? Being a hard ass with no sense of adventure?" Logan asked closing his eyes and appreciating the sensations of the damp flicks over his skin.

"I have a sense of adventure," Scott pulled back in mock protest, "and as for my ass…"

"It's mine," Logan announced offering up a squeeze on Scott's firm bottom. In an instant he rolled Scott back down to the ground again, sliding the blanket beneath them before moving in over Scott possessively. "All mine."

"Do you mean that?" Scott questioned reaching out to wrap his arms around Logan's shoulders.

"Of course I mean it," Logan eased down over Scott, carefully keeping his weight balanced over the Scott's sinewy contoured form, "What kind of question is that?"

"One that warrants an honest answer," Scott's fingers tangled in the damp ends of Logan's unruly hair.

"In that case yes Summers your ass belongs to me," Logan couldn't help, but tease, "If I didn't make that explicitly clear over on top of your desk, I'd be more than happy to show you that all over again that..."

"Logan, I'm being serious," Scott frowned up at him.

"So am I," Logan met Scott's eyes in a challenge, "I'll gladly demonstrate just how much it belongs to me just like you do if need be considering that…"

"Logan, seriously," Scott groaned outwardly, "It's just in hearing you say that I belong to you-that I'm yours..."

"You are," Logan ran his finger over Scott's bottom lip possessively, "You should know that by now."

"When you say that," Scott's lashes fluttered up at him, unable to hold back on the thoughts that consumed him in the moment with Logan's arms surrounding him, "It gets me thinking about things…"

"What kind of things?" Logan questioned lazily, running his lips over the side of Scott's neck and finding himself suddenly very thankful for Scott's newfound powers. Although sex had always been incredible between them, there was a new heightened sense of awareness between them once Scott's healing time had picked up. He almost rivaled Logan in the stamina department, being able to recover faster for another dose of passion and…

"Things that have been on my mind for a while," Scott divulged scratching his nails lightly over Logan's spine.

"Such as?" Logan questioned lazily, his teeth biting into Scott's flesh and causing Scott to let out an involuntary groan.

"Well," Scott bit down on his lip before taking in a nervous breath, "We're in New York and we've already got the rings, so I was thinking that maybe…"

Logan tensed up immediately, feeling the mood shift between them. He stopped nibbling on Scott's earlobe and pulled his hands away, instead opting to use them to brace him up higher on the floor over Scott. Looking down at Scott once again, Logan gave him a sideways glance.

"Scott, are you trying to…?" Logan choked out nervously.

"It doesn't have to be New York. We could always go to Canada. I know that you've been talking about going back there again in the future and…" Scott's blue eyes flashed with a newfound determination. "I mean it just makes sense in the natural progression for us. We're already sharing a room, a bed and after what happened before we both realized that we don't want to live without the other."

"So you think that we should…?" Logan gulped down hard, harder then he'd anticipated when Scott had opened up the discussion between them. Taking in a breath, Logan felt his lust leap onto the backburner long enough for him to slide down onto the floor beside Scott.

"Don't you?" Scott questioned turning on his side to face Logan. "It makes sense, doesn't it?"

"Think of what you're saying," Logan blurted out without censoring himself, "Of who you're saying it to."

"I have thought about that," Scott added bluntly, "I've thought a lot about that, which is why it's taken me so long, but now…"

"Scott, I know that we've taken a big step with one another-that we've been adjusting to the changes at the school and everything else, but with this…" Logan's gaze lingered to the rings on their fingers, to the sign of their commitment to one another and suddenly he felt on edge. He dropped his head down on the floor and let out a long breath, "It's asking a lot."

"I'm worth it, aren't I?" Scott took the initiative to lean over Logan. He draped the upper half of his body around Logan's chest and abdomen, causing another set of distracting sensations to spill out over Logan's body.

"You're everything to me," Logan confessed unable to refrain from wrapping his arm around Scott, "you know that, don't you?"

"I do," Scott nodded eagerly, "which is all the more reason why I don't think that we should leave things to chance. If we just take the leap, then…"

"That's a pretty damn big leap," Logan blurted out instinctively, "Scott, you know what kind of man I am. To even suggest it is…"

"Crazy I know," Scott added half pleading, "I realize that you've never really thought about being in something for the long haul, for really sticking it out, but after everything we've been through together-after everything we're still experiencing together..."

"Scott, I'm not exactly the family type of guy," Logan couldn't help but frown, "I'm not the kind of guy that you want to take back home to your folks for dinner."

"My parents are dead Logan. They've been that way for a very long time," Scott frowned back at him.

"So are mine Scott," Logan reminded him simply, "and that in itself is another reason why I'm not sure that this is really what we should be discussing right now. There's a lot about me that you don't know. I realize that you think because you caught a glimpse into my life when you were with Victor that it's lead you to believe you have this insight on me, but…"

"But what?" Scott questioned with a wounded expression on his face.

"I've been there, done this before Scott and it doesn't end well," Logan announced, feeling increasingly uncomfortable in the moment. Pulling himself up off of the floor, he sought out his jeans in an attempt to get a little breathing room away from the subject at hand.

"You've been married before?" Scott's eyes widened with surprise.

"Yeah," Logan nodded kicking his leg into his pants. He struggled to pull his jeans up over his body before turning around to face Scott fully, "and it didn't end well."

"I had no idea that you were…" Scott sat upright, bringing one hand through his dark, unruly hair, "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Logan repeated buttoning up his pants, "and it wasn't exactly something I'm ready to enter into again considering how it ended."

"How did it end?" Scott questioned curiously.

"It doesn't matter how it ended Scott. The point is it's over and I'm not sure I'm really ever ready to return to that place again," Logan continued abrasively, "Truth be told I can't see how you'd be ready to enter into that either given what happened with Jean. You know as well as I do that matrimony only leads to jealousy and tension and…"

"It's a risk I'm willing to take if it means having to spend the rest of my life with you Logan," Scott stood up with a frown. He crossed the classroom reaching out to touch Logan's shoulder when Logan turned his back to him. "Don't you want that?"

"I want you Scott," Logan felt Scott's fingers slide in over his chest. Unable to refrain from reaching out to touch them, Logan laced their fingers together, "I want every part of you with me, isn't that enough?"

"Of course it is, but at the same time," Scott bit back on his words, causing Logan to ponder what else was on Scott's mind, "don't you ever wonder why we're waiting? Why we haven't already thought about something like this given that we both know we can't live without each other? We've already committed to something and…"

"A stupid piece of paper doesn't negate or validate that commitment Scott," Logan found the courage to turn around and face his lover again. Reaching out to hold Scott's face in his hands, he let out a long breath.

"What are you so afraid of Logan?" Scott questioned leaning into Logan's touch, savoring the momentary connection between them. Logan's index finger pressed over the center of Scott's mouth, tracing the soft, swollen lines of Scott's lips in a tentative brush. Scott exhaled slowly, feeling Logan's skin ignite at the touch, at the simple whisper of emotion between them when Scott raised his chin up searching Logan's eyes again.

"Don't try to seek the answer out inside of my head Scott," Logan warned suddenly on edge at what Scott was now capable of, "I have my reasons."

"You love me, don't you?" Scott relented lowering his eyes in the moment.

"With all of my heart," Logan forced Scott to look at him again, "Don't you ever doubt that. I do love you Summers."

"But you don't want to take this to the next level," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "that's real comforting."

"Scott," Logan frowned feeling Scott pull away from him.

"What is it?" Scott huffed with agitation bending down to reach for his pants, "A masculinity thing? Afraid what people might think if you and I take the plunge? I mean sure it's unconventional, but…"

"It's not that," Logan snarled in response.

"If it's not because you don't love me and it's not an ego thing, then what is it?" Scott pushed himself into his pants and faced Logan again.

"It's a death thing," Logan snapped back at him in frustration.

"A death thing," Scott frowned back at him.

"That's right," Logan nodded stomping in closer to Scott, "because everyone I love leaves my life Scott. Every time I let someone inside it all falls apart. Hell, you know how screwed up I am. You of all people know what I've endured…"

"It doesn't change who you are," Scott reached for him desperately wanting to convey how right things could be for them in taking a leap of faith together, "Logan I know your heart. I know the man you've become and…"

"You don't know the half of my sins," Logan pulled Scott's hand away from the side of his face, "You don't realize the weight of the horrors I've brought to the world around me. I've caused chaos and destruction…"

"You saved me. You brought me life again Logan," Scott half pleaded with him, "You're the man I love…"

"That almost cost you your life or have you forgotten about Victor already?" Logan's brow creased with fury at the mention of the man he'd wanted to hunt down.

"Victor went after me long before you and I met each other. That had nothing to do with…" Scott protested with a huff.

"Scott, think about it. It had everything to do with me-with us being together. Victor knows how much I care about you, how much I love you and he wanted to use it against me to destroy me," Logan offered up in an impassioned appeal, "When he told me you were dead-when I thought he'd killed you it tore a chunk out of my heart. It turned me into the thing I hated the most because a life without you-in losing you, I didn't want to face another day. I didn't want to keep living, but…"

"But I was still alive," Scott reached out for him desperately, "I was still here. I'm still here…"

"Only because everything changed, but if you didn't have those powers, if he would've succeeded in destroying you," Logan's words tapered off shamefully, "I couldn't have survived that and being forced to do just that because death won't welcome me isn't a comforting prospect either."

"You don't have to worry about that Logan. I'm not going anywhere," Scott pleaded sliding his arms around Logan's thick, muscle corded body, "not now, not ever."

"Scott, if Victor thought that we were-if you and I took that leap and he stole you from me…" Logan shuddered at the notion, knowing only too well that loving Scott was his vulnerability. It was something he hadn't planned on, but Victor knew how to exploit it. He had taken the initiative to send Logan's world spiraling out of control in going after Scott. It would constantly be the source of Victor's attack and if Logan couldn't find a way to stop him before…

"Logan," Scott spoke up, snapping Logan out of his daze, "please don't discard the notion before you've given thought to it. I'm not asking you to run away tonight. I'm simply hoping that you'll consider what I'm saying to you. We're good together and I know if we do this we can only be better."

"You don't want to be tied down to a man like me Scott," Logan finally sighed, closing his eyes when Scott stroked the side of his face, caressing his rough skin with the same gentle touch that Logan had savored time and time again.

"I'm already bound to you forever Logan," Scott mouthed against his lips, "Nothing's going to change that for me not even your inability to commit to a marriage. If it's really not what you want…"

"Scott, it's just…it's complicated…" Logan opened his mouth preparing to find words of comfort, but he found himself at a loss. Instead he shuffled on his feet and tried to come up with a better alternative to the inevitable disappointment he was going to bring upon Scott.

"Look forget it Logan I…" Scott began after a long moment of silence only to hear a knock on the classroom door.

"Logan? Scott? You both in there?" Marie's voice carried through the thick wooden door to the classroom. "Hello?"

"Saved by the bell it seems," Scott mouthed under his breath before turning to retrieve his button down shirt.

"Scott," Logan opened his mouth in protest, feeling as if there were still so many things left unsaid between them. "Come on…"

"Save it Logan," Scott forced a fake smile, one that left it known that he wasn't alright with what Logan had said. Even though they'd only touched on the topic, Logan could see it would be one that would be a point of contention for them in the future.

"You'd better answer the door Logan," Scott added reaching for his glasses and refusing to face Logan while he finished getting dressed.

"Just a second Marie," Logan threw out in an apologetic tone in Scott's general direction. "We just have to…"

"Never mind," Scott decided walking over to the door and preparing to open it, "I'll answer it."

"No," Logan decided placing himself between Scott and the door when he feared Scott would walk out, leaving their discussion unsettled between them. Still with everything weighing on his mind, Logan knew that the last thing he wanted was to have Scott disappear before he could say what he truly meant. Taking in a breath, Logan tried to hide his emotions when he opened the door to greet Marie with a polite smile, "hey."

"Hey," she eyed him suspiciously, "is this a bad time?"

"No, not at all," Scott's voice carried over the room with a hint of agitation in his tone, "Logan and I were just finishing up with the lesson plans. He was filling me in on what went down today."

"Did he tell you how he managed to charm the class earlier?" Marie boasted with a smile, turning her attention to Scott.

"I heard," Scott replied with a small nod, "he has a way with people it seems."

"She's lying," Logan cleared his throat uneasily, knowing only too well that in the moment the last thing he wanted was to have Scott upset with him. "I was terrible."

"I seriously doubt that," Scott wrinkled his nose, "Everyone thinks the world of you and why wouldn't they? I'm sure they're just glad that you decided to stick around instead of leaving like you did before.

"We did miss you when you were gone," Marie added oblivious to the tension in the air. "It might not be your idea of a good time Logan, but you were a natural. You'd be a great instructor in the classroom as well as what you've been doing in the other areas."

"I don't know about that," Scott quipped with a hint of animosity carrying over his tone, "Teaching probably isn't your forte Logan as it does require a certain commitment and that can be a scary thing."

"I'm not afraid to commit to it," Logan's frown intensified.

"Sure you are because no matter how rewarding or entertaining it might prove to be for a few fleeting moments the idea of really settling into it, really giving yourself completely to all it entails is just overwhelming, right?" Scott snapped back at him, his tone terse and bitter when Marie raised a curious brow.

"He might've been just a bit intimidated, but all in all the students liked him…" Marie interjected slowly tuning in to the vibe between them. "Is this really not a bad time?"

"Of course not," Scott blurted out.

"Actually it's kind of not the…" Logan began at the same time. He caught the way that Scott wrinkled his nose at him before turning to Marie, "It's probably not the best of times. If something's up then…"

"I was actually looking for you Logan," she spoke up tentatively, "The Professor asked me to seek you out. He wanted to speak with you in his office. Something about that favor you'd asked from him and…"

"You'd better not keep him waiting," Scott folded his arms in front of his chest impatiently.

"Actually," Logan took in a breath. Tension coiled up his body, spreading out over his limbs like an added weight to his adamantium laced bones, "can you tell him it's going to be a few minutes?"

"Sure," Marie nodded quietly. She threw out a look in Scott's direction before waving, "good to see you're okay Scott."

"Thanks Marie," Scott replied politely watching her close the door in her retreat. Once he was alone with Logan, he let out a frustrated breath, "You probably shouldn't keep him waiting long. I'm sure it's about Victor since you'd asked him to look into it before."

"Scott, look I don't want to leave it like this. I know that you're upset, but…" Logan groaned outwardly. He brought one hand up through his unruly hair and tried to regain control of the situation, "I just…"

"I get it Logan," Scott threw his hands up in the air, "I understand. You don't have to explain yourself twice."

"Maybe I do," Logan took a tentative step towards Scott.

"No, you really don't. I understand," Scott's words were anything, but the truth as Logan closed his eyes and took in another breath. "I get it."

"Stop saying that Scott," Logan groaned outwardly.

"It's what you want to hear, isn't it? I mean that's what you want me to say, right?" Scott tossed back at him with obvious frustration.

"I want you," Logan's eyes snapped open, words raw and desperate when he pulled Scott into his arms, "I just want that to be enough for us. I need that to be enough for now."

"Logan," Scott opened his mouth preparing to protest, but at the last minute he fell to silence. Nodding, he finally let out a slow, disappointed breath, "it can be. As long as you're in my life, we can make it work. You're right. We don't need a piece of paper to prove that."

"Scott, I know that you're just saying…" Logan began feeling the disappointment that surrounded Scott in the moment.

"I love you Logan," Scott cut him off in an impassioned voice, "and if it takes forever for you to come around-hell, even if you never do, then I'll learn to live with that. I just want you. Always just you."

"You'll always have me Summers," Logan promised squeezing Scott in his arms, wishing like hell that he could readily give Scott everything he'd wanted, but knowing of the threat that still remained out there, Logan knew that marriage would simply add a bigger target on Scott's back. Even if Scott could fight back now, Logan didn't want them to have to live the rest of their lives in fear. Until Victor was no longer out there, Logan would have to keep Scott safe, to protect Scott from the world that once surrounded Logan even if it meant denying Scott the one thing that he truly longed for.

XXXXXX

Logan made his way down to the office, grudgingly pulling himself away from Scott at a time when things were still up in the air between them. Although Scott had settled into giving Logan the answer that Scott had anticipated Logan wanted, Logan knew full well Scott wouldn't be alright with the conclusion. Scott was never one to back down especially when something was important to him. He'd grown to step up to the plate, heading into something full force thanks to Logan's prodding through the years. Logan let out an ironic laugh remembering a time when Scott would've rather walked away instead of engaging in a fight between them. Rather than embracing his emotions, Scott would hold them inside being stoic and stubborn, fighting them every step of the way. Now Scott put everything out on the table, hoping that the cards would fall in his favor with Logan. Much like the night Scott had planned on giving Logan the ring, Logan had beat him to the chase, stealing the sentiment before it could carry them both under.

"Damn it Summers," Logan mouthed to himself, turning his attention to the ring he wore proudly on his finger.

"Would it really have been so bad to say yes?" a voice inside of his head nagged at him. "Would it really have been such a stretch to give in to it?"

The truth was that Logan wouldn't have protested if he could be convinced that Victor was no longer a problem. If there wasn't a pressing fear and concern about what was next, then things would've been different. If he could make sure that Scott wouldn't fall victim to Victor's madness, if Scott could truly understand the things that could always come back to haunt them, to become a problem when something Logan did returned to face the future, then maybe Logan would've embraced the notion. Yes, matrimonial bliss was something that Logan certainly hadn't planned on entering into in this lifetime again or in any other, but Scott made it so damned easy to fall into a routine. Hell, at this point they were practically married anyways. They sure as hell fought like an old married couple when the mood struck and the sex, well, Logan contemplated the thought with a small smirk, that was more like honeymooners, but that was beside the point. He and Scott had a sure thing, a solid connection that was no longer cloaked in shadows, no longer hidden from the world around them. Scott had embraced the depths of their connection, wanting to welcome it full force, yet Logan had carried reservations. He'd been weighed down by concerns, by fears that were well beyond his reach, yet the memory of Scott laying lifeless in his arms served as a painful reminder of what love could do for them. Yes maybe marriage wasn't a far cry from where they were with one another now, but it was the certain deciding factor that had always ended horrible for those in Logan's life. It would lead to chaos, destruction and…

"Logan," Charles opened the door to his office, greeting Logan with a polite nod, "I thought I sensed you out here."

"Sorry for the delay," Logan pushed his hands into his pockets, sliding his ringed finger out of view for the time being, "Marie said you wanted to see me."

"Yes," Charles nodded, "I thought that you and I should have a discussion about a few things."

"If this is about what happened last night with Scott," Logan began defensively, his thoughts returning to their confrontation in this very office less than twenty four hours ago.

"I'm sure we've both come to the realization that we want what's best for Scott," Charles answered smoothly, motioning for Logan to follow him into the office. "That shouldn't come into question."

"Even so," Logan's eyes involuntarily traveled over to the couch where he'd found Scott trembling in the midst of a seizure the last time he'd been inside the office.

"I didn't call you down here to discuss what's happening with Scott," Charles broke through Logan's lingering thoughts, "You'd asked me to look into finding Victor."

"And?" Logan questioned, his dark eyes snapping up to seek out an answer from Charles.

"He's been careful to stay under the radar for a while now," Charles spoke up smoothly, "so much so that I was beginning to question if we'd ever hear anything after he disappeared."

"He won't stay buried forever. I'm sure if you take another look with Cerebro, then perhaps…" Logan opened his mouth in protest, thinking about his need to eliminate the threat to his happiness. Remembering what he'd learned the other night about Victor's quest for adamantium, Logan knew that time was again of the essence in the impending situation. With Victor's madness there was no telling what the inevitable outcome could be if Bert's carelessness had offered Victor an opening to darkness.

"It was almost impossible," Charles interrupted with a small breath, "but not a futile effort to keep searching. We've been able to track him down to a city north of here. He's been laying low, but there are rumors circulating that he's been passing through his old haunts, finding his way back to a place where he may prove to be vulnerable to our moving in on him."

"What place?" Logan questioned feeling the hair on the back of his neck standing up at complete attention. His fingers curled into his fists, eyes flashing with a momentary rage, "Where?"

"I'm assembling a team to head out in the morning," Charles informed him with a hesitation in his tone, "I think if we're able to get a jump start on locating him before he gets wind of our arrival we can end this."

"I want to be on the team," Logan announced firmly, knowing it was what he needed to do.

"I realize that you and Victor have a long history with one another, one that isn't devoid of emotions and feelings behind the actions. Given your ties to one another that you're recently discovering…" Charles began only to have Logan interrupt him.

"It's because of that history that I want to be leading the team. I want to be the one to run with this because I'm the one who can truly find him," Logan added in an impassioned tone, "I know his habits and his methods…"

"I can't argue that point with you Logan, which is why I feel it's in everyone's best interest that you do lead the team out there," Charles nodded. "You'll be best suited to deal with him when he exposes his positioning. He'll be expecting that you come after him and with the team behind you…"

"I can't make any promises on what will happen once I do see him again," Logan bit back on the anger burning inside of him.

"You must choose your own path Logan," Charles nodded slowly, "but in this particular mission I do make one request of you."

"What's that?" Logan clenched his jaw, thinking about how long he'd waited to have this impending showdown with Victor.

"Scott stays here," Charles announced firmly, "I don't want him taking any part of this mission in any way, shape or form."

"You mean you think that Scott…?" Logan's eyes widened with surprise.

"Given their history with one another and Scott's condition, neither one of us truly believe he's ready to take on this kind of task," Charles softened his tone to that of deep concern, "He might believe he's ready to take on the world, but we both saw what happened to him last night. With so many questions still unanswered I believe it would lead to a horrible regression in Scott. Given the nature of the abuse that Scott has suffered at Victor's hands I don't think it wise to send him out there unprotected."

"Scott won't accept that answer," Logan blurted out knowing of his lover's determination, "He won't want to sit on the sidelines."

"What Scott wants and what he needs are two very different, very distinct things," Charles mouthed sourly, "He's not in a position to know what's best for him right now, not when everything is so up in the air. He shouldn't be anywhere near Victor. Deep down we both know it would be foolish to pretend that this could end well if Scott takes part in this mission. Logan, I'm trusting you to use discretion and common sense with your instincts."

"Common sense tells me that Scott's going to fight like hell to be a part of this once he learns that…" Logan opened his mouth in protest.

"Scott's not going to know about where you'll be going," Charles interrupted with a sudden seriousness in his tone. "You'll be flying out early in the morning with a team, going off to take care of this situation while Scott continues to focus on his recovery. I'll do what I can to deflect his questioning while you're away, but for the time being I think it's best that we don't allow this information to go through Scott right now."

"That's easier said, then done considering that…" Logan opened his mouth to protest, wondering just how much of Scott's situation Charles had been privy to. Although it seemed that Scott and Charles would inevitably make peace with one another in the future, Logan couldn't help, but think about Scott's suspicions that Charles was hiding something from him.

"I'll take care of Scott much like I have been most of his life. He might be angry at first, but eventually he'll understand why we both wanted to protect him, to shield him from harm's way," Charles added without room for a protest on Logan's end. Turning his back to Logan, he spoke up again smoothly, "The flight will be heading out just after sunrise. I trust that won't be a problem for you."

Logan opened his mouth to say something more, but stopped himself and nodded, "That's fine."

"Good," Charles headed over to his desk and returned to the paperwork he'd been perusing through before Logan's arrival, "and I trust when this situation is resolved we'll gain a clearer picture of where it is that everything should be for all of us."

"I'd like to think so," Logan nodded knowing only too well that with Victor out of the picture, he could find freedom to guide him to happiness. If the threat was gone, then maybe just maybe he would be able to provide Scott with the answer he'd really wanted about their future. If he could simply end the madness, then perhaps a new beginning was in fact possible for all of them.

XXXXX


	10. Chapter 10

Scott stripped out of his clothing down to his boxer shorts contemplating a long, hot shower, but with his thoughts still in turmoil over the conversation he'd shared with Logan, he knew that right now he needed to formulate a new course of action. He needed to say something more to Logan once his meeting with Charles was over. Maybe it wouldn't be the right thing, but it would feel better then simply letting it go. Sure, maybe Scott had pushed the envelope a bit tonight in being bold in his approach. It hadn't exactly been the first thing on his mind when he'd gone to the classroom to seduce Logan, but now that the thought consumed him, Scott couldn't help, but find himself pondering the what if of domesticated life with Logan. Yes, Scott knew full well that Logan didn't want to change and Scott didn't want to change him-at least not in the ways that Logan undoubtedly feared. What they had together now was wonderful, but what they could possibly gain in the future could be…

"Amazing," Scott dropped down onto their bed, unable to take his eyes off of the diamond and ruby ring that Logan had given him a short while ago. At the time Scott hadn't expected it, hadn't anticipated Logan even considering such a bold gesture, but now as it fit Scott's finger perfectly, Scott couldn't help, but feel that Logan wanted the same thing. He'd been so convincing in his words of love, yet…

"You're pushing him too fast, too hard," Scott mouthed to himself knowing full well that a marriage proposal certainly wasn't on the top of Scott's list when he'd finished his conversation with Charles. Still in having Charles suggest the possibility that Scott would have to release Logan to find the answers Scott had been so desperately searching for, it only made Scott twenty times more convinced that holding on was his only option. Looking into the past might've proved to bring about painful memories, but it was those memories with Logan at his side that Scott never wanted to let go of. Logan was his saving grace and even if it meant taking an unexpected leap into marriage to show everyone that Scott wasn't walking away from Logan, then so be it. Scott was in this for the long haul and if everyone else couldn't see that, then he'd make them.

"I can't lose you," Scott vowed thinking about his reasoning for trying to prod Logan into a deeper commitment. Sure, on some level he was inspired by a new strategy in asserting himself, prompted by Charles, by their conversation, but deep down he knew it was something he'd thought about for a very long time. It had haunted him from the moment he'd lost himself, powerless and miserable away from the school. There were so many nights when Scott had wanted to call Logan, to reach out to him and pull him back into his life again, yet Scott had refrained. Scott had remained in the shadows building a new life without those he loved and cared for especially Logan. When Scott had learned of Charles dying, he'd pulled away further from his wants, from his needs in order to sacrifice his happiness to bring others peace. It was hell, but it was what he'd submitted himself to until Logan's arrival. Even thinking about it was painful, but deep down Scott knew he didn't have to face that pain alone any longer. He had Logan in his life and that changed everything.

"Marriage or not, I'm committed to this fully," Scott decided hoping to banish his insecurities long enough to get cleaned up before Logan's return. Perhaps when Logan was finished with Xavier he and Logan could try again to talk about things. Granted Logan wasn't one for opening up, but he'd revealed plenty in speaking of a previous marriage. That in itself told Scott there were still so many things for them to discover about one another-things that Scott was hoping would only bring them closer in the long run.

"We'll make it work," Scott mouthed to himself rising up off of the bed when he spotted the black bound journal on the dresser beside him. While he hadn't given it much thought earlier in the day when Charles arrived, now it stood out like the ultimate temptation, giving him the access to something that Logan hadn't been able to provide him with. While Scott had no idea what the journal could contain, he knew taking a look at it would perhaps be simpler then trying to prod the truth from Logan. Yes, maybe it was nothing, but more silly breadcrumbs that Logan had left for Scott to ponder over in bed, but it was worth giving in to temptation and stealing a peak at it.

"After all he went through my things at the house," Scott reasoned guiltily. Reaching for the book, he pulled it from the top of the dresser, sliding it into his lap before settling back on the pillows. Yes, perhaps he was going to burn for crossing the line with a little guilty indulgence, but he'd make it up to Logan sooner or later.

"Here goes nothing," Scott took in a nervous breath, prying open the top cover when he was struck with an uncanny familiarity. There before him instead of finding Logan's sloppy handwriting, he was met with a more pristine, more proper penmanship. It was familiar, structured and…

"Jean," Scott's jaw dropped in realization, an unsettling feeling carrying over him as he touched the page. He blinked a few times taking note of the dates on the top of the entries and his heart skipped a beat. Knowing he should put the journal down, should walk away from it, Scott's fingers grew shaky in turning the pages. He shouldn't be skimming through it, shouldn't be looking into Jean's private thoughts, but more than anything, he certainly shouldn't have found the journal in his bedroom, next to the bed he shared with Logan. Dropping the journal down on the blankets as if it had burned him, Scott slid back across the comforter and closed his eyes.

"Just put it back where you found it," he quietly instructed himself, doing his best to ignore temptation, to stop allowing his curiosities to consume him, yet with the memory of the woman he once loved surrounding him, Scott couldn't help, but reach for the journal again.

"I'm sorry," he mouthed to himself, pulling the book open again. His gaze lingered over the words, not really focusing on them as anything beyond the scribbling on the pages at first, but soon when he noticed his name splashed across the page, he couldn't help, but find himself reading her private thoughts in spite of himself.

"Scott was insatiable tonight," he read aloud, feeling his fingers tense up on the binding of the journal, "I don't know what's gotten into him lately, but this rivalry with Logan has certainly had an impact on everything. He doesn't seem able to concentrate, to make it through the day without an outburst, but tonight, well tonight was different. Tonight he didn't hold anything back physically. It was as if in being with him I was making love to another man. He was intensely passionate and…"

Scott closed the journal immediately, feeling a guilt weigh in over him. He set it down on the foot of the bed, trying to banish the thought of what Jean must've believed about him during that time when he'd been fighting with himself over his feelings for Logan. At the time it was purely physical, a primitive force driving them to one another, yet…

Condemning himself all over again, Scott grabbed the journal returning to the page he'd been on. He read it for a few minutes, taking in Jean's thoughts about the feud between Scott and Logan, offering her own views on why they were both constantly butting heads with one another. In her assessment she'd referred to it as an alpha male syndrome brought on by both of them being so headstrong, yet she felt it would resolve itself. She believed if it would run it's course that it would simply lend itself to a union, to something stronger beyond what anyone had realized.

"You weren't wrong about that Jean," Scott conceded turning a few pages more in the journal until he noticed another entry pressed into the page sloppily in red ink. This one seemed to have been printed in a rushed moment, in a frantic, uncharacteristic scrawling that was very unlike Jean's normal prose.

_"I had a dream last night only unlike the others this one was about Logan. I wish I hadn't because I'd hoped that I would return to those dreams about Scott-about the way it felt the first time he kissed me. I can clearly remember how nervous he was, how uncertain of himself he had been after my waiting forever for him to just make a move. If he had any idea of just how many times I would've taken the lead in kissing him first, if he'd only seemed like he wouldn't crumble to pieces if I'd reached out to him, knowing he was terrified, then maybe we could've gotten to things sooner. Of course as with everything Scott does he had to take his time, to plan it in his way…to be his own man. He needed that gentle coaxing into that beautiful moment when our lips finally touched for that first incredible moment between us. All the coaxing in the world couldn't have created such a pure, innocent, wonderful memory between us like his lips to mine did that first time. It was something forever imprinted in my mind, yet with Logan…"_

_Scott paused not sure he wanted to read what would follow. Still in knowing he'd already opened the door to trouble, he continued to peruse the page._

_"Logan's wild, reckless and everything in the world a woman shouldn't want. He's the extreme opposite of Scott in his unrefined flirting. He's brash, loud and crude in his approach often saying things that make me blush like I never dreamt possible. All of his lewd suggestions should land him a slap in the face, but instead they only serve to make me uncomfortable in the most uninvited of ways. When he looks at me, I know he's imagining us naked together. I've seen it in his thoughts, felt it in the way his eyes follow me when we're in a room together. It's almost as if we were connected from the start, two passionate people hungry for something beyond the mundane, struggling to find our way in a world where expectations mean little to us. Yes, I've always played it by ear, doing the right and proper thing, but sometimes…in those few moments when I'm close to Logan I anticipate what it would be like to forget about the life I've lived. I wonder what it would be like to give in to temptation, to allow him to do those things he's been fantasizing about-to forget about Scott for just one night and allow Logan the opportunity to have what he wants. For just a moment I'd give anything to know what it would be like to simply release my inhibitions and lose myself to Logan. If only…"_

_Scott stiffened, feeling suddenly very uncomfortable in reading the truth in Jean's words. She'd been tempted, drawn to Logan even after all the reassurances that she hadn't been. She'd been secretly longing for something more, for something that she felt she hadn't been given with Scott. He knew that he should be angry, that he should feel betrayed, but in the moment of understanding Jean's conflict, he felt relief. He'd felt the very same things, divided by his loyalty and his desire at a time when only Jean should've consumed him. He'd always thought she'd been so certain, so sure of their relationship, but even she had her doubts. Her thoughts of Logan had to be proof that… His thoughts came to an abrupt half when he continued to read the entry._

_"No…no…no. I could never do that to Scott. He loves me far too much for me to enjoy Logan's flirting. I might want to give in, but because of Scott I could never cross that line. I could never walk away from what we shared with one another even if it was for the promise of passion with Logan. Yes, one night might be memorable, but it would pale in comparison to a lifetime with Scott. He may be reserved now, but he's slowly breaking out of his shell. The other night proved that. When we made love he was so engrossed in the moment, so wild and exited, much like Logan seems to be when he's near me. For a few seconds I could almost imagine what it was like to have had Logan over me, inside of me instead of Scott. The thought was overwhelming, bringing me to the point of…"_

"That's it," Scott tossed the journal aside with a small groan, "I'm done."

Bringing his hands up over his eyes, he rubbed at them trying to banish the thought of Jean and Logan together. As if having to remember what he'd perceived was bad enough, the very thought of Jean's fantasy with Logan actually bedding Jean had Scott on the verge cringing. Still in remembering their beginnings, Scott knew he couldn't fault Jean for her desires. She'd been loyal to him through the years. She'd been good with him-patient, understanding, but she had desires and wants that extended beyond their comfort zone with one another. Scott had them as well and they'd lead to something more. They'd taken him to Logan, while Jean…

"No," Scott refused to finish that thought. He didn't want to think about what had happened to Jean now that he knew what the outcome was. Still with her journal calling out to him, tempting him into taking the latest round of torture that her memories would provide him with, he couldn't turn away. Maybe it was what he deserved for how he'd betrayed her. Maybe it was an adequate punishment for the lies he'd surrounded her with when she'd deserved the truth. Hearing her long for Logan should simply prove that they were both human, yet…

"She didn't cross the line from fantasy to reality," Scott mouthed to himself unable to put the journal down. He skimmed over the page, reading Jean's most intimate thoughts about Logan, about the comparisons she'd felt existed between the two men until it was too much for Scott to take. He quickly shuffled through a few more pages, seeing the entries etched in with the black ink that dominated most of the journal. It wasn't until he discovered another entry in red ink much later in the journal that he stopped and took another look.

_"I can't believe this. Tonight of all nights everything changed. Somehow I knew it would, but when I returned home I hadn't expected this. Even with my powers I hadn't seen it coming when Ororo and I arrived back at the school. Yes, maybe it was my own fault for ignoring the signs with Scott's distance lately, but damn it I thought if I could give up on my attraction to Logan, then maybe everything would be fine. If I committed myself fully to the relationship with Scott then maybe he wouldn't have felt he had to... Hell, I asked for a sign and I got a few of them, but neither have brought me any closer to answers. Yesterday I was confused, frightened by what the future would hold in store for us, but then once everything had time to settle, I was happy, thrilled that this would begin a new chapter for Scott and I. Yes, we might've been distant since Logan's arrival, but after Logan left we've been making real progress. He and I are finally at that place where we can evolve. I love him. I know that and more than anything I truly believe he's the one. Fate might've lead my thoughts astray for a while, showing me what life could've been like with the alternative, but Scott's everything to me. He's what a good husband and father would and should be. He's the man I want to share my future with, to have a life with, yet in deciding that-in really processing that reality, it seems that the joke is on me. In all of my indecisiveness I overlooked the inevitable. I might've overlooked it forever if I hadn't returned home a night early. If I hadn't been able to cut the trip short, I might've continued on unaware of the signs, of the truth until I had it slapped in my face at the worst possible moment. Before tonight I thought I knew what to do-that I had the answers at long last, but when I went looking for Scott tonight he wasn't in our room. He wasn't where I'd hoped to find him, to tell him what I realized. Instead he was missing. I went searching for him eager to share our truth together, going to visit with Charles, then to the library until finally I wound up heading to the Danger Room figuring he'd gone to blow off some steam. I was excited by the idea of seeing him again, of surrounding him in our new reality, but what I discovered was the last thing I'd anticipated. It proved that even with my abilities to read him that there were key elements I'd overlooked. Things that I knew could never be taken back…"_

Scott tensed up when his eyes returned to the date on the top of the page, already knowing it in his heart. It was the night Logan had truly returned to the school. Yes, everyone had believed he'd arrived the next morning, but Scott knew better. While it hadn't been something Scott had dwelled upon, it was the one night he couldn't simply erase from his brain no matter how many times he'd contemplated trying. In the center of the bed he shared with Logan, he continued to skim over Jean's words finding himself haunted by the memory that he'd known had severed his relationship with Jean forever. Closing his eyes Scott took in a breath and allowed the memory to carry over him.

_Insomnia. It was a horrible, ugly beast, one that Scott found he couldn't seem to avoid now that he'd been left to fend for himself for the night. It was just one more night. It should be simple enough for him to do as he always did, sticking to his rigid routine, but tonight felt different. Tonight he was anxious, tense and ready to do anything, but sleep. Granted he'd told Jean that all would be well while she was away off on the new task Charles had given her, yet in her absence Scott found that his thoughts were involuntarily returning to his latest obsession._

_"Logan," he mouthed to himself thinking about how he and Logan had once again butted heads with one another right before Logan had left on his mission to find himself. Although Scott couldn't quite remember what the subject was that they'd disagreed on, Scott had been mad as hell that Logan had taken his favorite bike. It was bad enough that Scott had wanted to rush out after Logan, to tear him to shreds for daring to steal his property, but more so the scenario haunted him, making him want to return to the many other fantasies Scott had of Logan lately. Jean had been disappointed with Scott's inability to let things go, urging Scott to simply make amends with Logan after he'd returned to the school down the road. Once again she was encouraging Scott to play nice, but little did she know that Scott's anger was channeled by more than memories of Logan's flirting with her. It stemmed from Scott's own thoughts and desires he'd been pushing deep inside of him._

_When Logan was gone Scott believed that it would have been easy to forget, to pretend that night in the locker room hadn't happened between them, yet with the thought that one day Logan would be at the school again, the guilt over that night began to consume Scott's thoughts. He'd been possessed by the memory, haunted in the waking hours when thinking back to what it was like to almost give in to temptation that consumed him. He could clearly recall the sensations, the taste, the smell over the moment when he'd felt his inhibitions taking him down a new dangerous path. They'd urged him to let go of all self control and immerse himself in forbidden pleasures. Hell, it was on his mind so much lately that he was going out of his way to avoid spending private time with Jean. If she had any idea what was still haunting Scott, she'd be so disappointed. She'd be miserable and their relationship would be…_

_"Over," Scott mouthed to himself, pushing the blankets off of his legs. He reached for his glasses securing them on his head before he opened his eyes to reveal the crimson colored world that surrounded him. It was nights like these that he hated having Jean gone. Even if he had tried to avoid allowing her in order to keep her from seeing how dark his thoughts had turned him, he liked the idea of having her around. In knowing that he wasn't alone, it seemed to take the weight of his worries from him. Still as he turned to face her side of the bed, feeling it empty beside him he pondered what would ever happen should he refrain from putting his carnal thoughts of Logan aside forever._

_"She deserves so much more than a man who is as screwed up as you are," he could hear a voice taunting inside of his head, reminding him that he was far from being what Jean needed. Hell, he'd tried to be perfect for her. He loved her. He knew that without question, yet when Logan first arrived something changed inside of him. He thought it was anger initially, but then something shifted, something happened inside of Scott taking him out of his comfort zone. It wasn't so much because of what happened in the locker rooms between them all that time ago, but more so a primitive instinct taking over, evolving from a simple curiosity to something that was…_

_"Dangerous," Scott mouthed to himself deciding that burning through his forbidden thoughts of Logan and the impact they would have on Jean should she ever discover them was the last thing he wanted to be doing. He marched over to his closet, preparing to change, to shut his mind out for a little while and focus on the one thing that he could do without hesitation, without question and without concern about moral decisions in his life. It was time to blow off some steam in a fight. He reached for his clothing and realized the Danger Room was the perfect place to do just that._

_Quickly shuffling to get dressed, Scott left his bedroom knowing that it was far too late for anyone else to be roaming around the school. Yes, there might be a few night owls stirring while pretending to be asleep, but Scott would be able to readily get a program started that would help him banish his betraying thoughts or at the very least exhaust him enough that he could sleep without worry over what his dreams would take him to in Jean's absence. The other night before Jean left he'd almost slipped up, allowing his thoughts the freedom to conjure up a fantasy of Logan. When he'd awakened Jean had questioned his strange uneasiness, his soft mumblings in his slumber, but he'd put off her questions with kisses. Somehow that had become the alternative to honesty and fantasizing about Logan for Scott. He'd been giving in to his instincts, focusing his energies on Jean in the hopes she wouldn't know the lust in his heart he'd felt for Logan in his dreams. So far it seemed to be working rather well, but now…_

_"To hell with it," he announced entering the Danger Room ready to begin a regiment to banish the demons from within, but when he walked inside, it was clear that fate had other plans for him. Much to his horror and dismay instead of having the room to himself, he was met by Logan's surprised eyes. He was dumbstruck in seeing Logan standing before him, half dressed and preparing for a battle of his own._

_"Scott," Logan greeted him with surprise behind his wide eyes, "hey."_

_"Logan, you're back," Scott blurted out excitedly, finding too much welcoming in his own voice at the idea of Logan's arrival, "I thought that you were…"_

_"I couldn't stay away," Logan shrugged his shoulders and motioned to the door, "No one was awake so I thought I'd slip in before morning and…"_

_"Wow, so you're really back," Scott repeated feeling an uneasiness in the air between them. Gulping down hard Scott tried to stay calm, to carry his same stoic persona in the uncomfortable exchange he was certain would follow._

_"Yeah, so it would seem," Logan looked away from Scott, returning his focus to the task at hand, "Figured that this was a better thing to do instead of announcing it to the school that I was here and waking everyone up."_

_"Yeah," Scott shifted on his feet nervously, "that's probably a smart thing to do."_

_"Scott Summers calling me smart," Logan let out a teasing laugh, "My some things really have changed."_

_"I just meant in staying quiet because with everyone sleeping it's probably not the smartest idea to…never mind," Scott groaned outwardly, finding himself met by the same abrasive tone Logan had carried with him in their exchanges with one another. Clearing his throat he found the courage to speak up in a neutral tone, "Long night?"_

_"Couldn't sleep when I went back to my old room. Saw it was still waiting for me, but well…," Logan motioned to the machine behind him, "Figured I may as well do something to keep busy. Didn't feel like unpacking just yet."_

_"Me too…I mean with the couldn't sleep thing that is, not the unpacking part," Scott confessed shuffling on his feet before clearing his throat again, "but if you're busy here, I can just…"_

_"Join me," Logan suggested with a hint of eagerness in his tone. He paused momentarily catching the expression on Scott's face before he covered, "I mean you may as well not waste the effort it took you to get dressed and make your way down here. There's plenty of room for both of us to fight after all."_

_"That's true," Scott conceded taking a bold step forward despite the warning that rang out inside of his head to turn around and leave. Still not one to let his fears keep him from a challenge Scott motioned to the machine behind Logan, "Start it up."_

Now returning to the moment in his bedroom he shared with Logan, Scott looked to the book feeling it reminiscent of the weight of his betrayal. With Jean's words scribbled on the page detailing what she witnessed, what she'd endured in making the mistake of returning a night earlier than she'd anticipated, Scott knew he couldn't take that back. He still had the book on the bed beside him, pages turned down when the door to the bedroom opened revealing Logan on the other side. With a gulp he reached for a pillow covering the journal in a haste.

"Hey," Logan greeted Scott with a somber expression. He carefully closed the door behind his entrance, his uneasy eyes avoiding making any kind of contact with Scott, "I thought you'd be asleep by now."

"I wasn't ready for sleep," Scott mouthed shifting his eyes between the book and Logan. "Had a lot on my mind I guess."

"You and me both," Logan sighed heavily, his eyes tired, far more tired then they'd been when he went off to meet with Charles.

"Rough meeting?" Scott questioned raising a curious brow.

"Not as bad as it could've been," Logan shrugged, walking over to the closet and pulling his shirt up off over his head. He reached for the closet door, tossing the shirt into the bin before speaking up again, "Went pretty good actually."

"I'm glad to hear it," Scott added politely, his blue eyes gravitating to the journal once again. He wondered if he could hide it before Logan noticed it, yet with Logan so close, he knew he'd be foolish to try in making a move and risk being caught. "You were hoping for good news."

"I wouldn't say it was good news, but…" Logan replied reentering the room to see Scott leaning on the pillow on the top of the bed, "You alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Scott questioned taking in a breath and attempting to play it cool despite the conflicting emotions he'd felt in reading Jean's journal, "I mean everything's fine."

"Fine," Logan repeated eyeing him uneasily, "Somehow anytime someone you care about says things are fine, you know they are usually the polar opposite."

"You're reading too much of that Freud," Scott sat up straighter on the bed, doing his best to come off as calm and collected in the moment despite the condemning passage he'd just read in Jean's journal. "Fine means fine."

"On most occasions it might, but not after tonight after you brought up the subject of marriage Scott," Logan opened the door to the inevitably uncomfortable conversation they were going to have sooner or later.

"It was the wrong time. I realize that Logan," Scott shrugged his shoulders, rolling them back in a complacent movement, "I get that now."

"Why don't I believe that?" Logan couldn't help, but frown.

"I already told you that I was willing to take what I could get and…" Scott opened his mouth in protest realizing that now wasn't the time or place to get into the discussion with Jean's memory lingering in the air surrounding Scott with her words.

"You shouldn't have to Scott. You should be able to have everything that you want, but…" Logan rubbed his thick fingers together, bringing them in a slow, massaging upward motion across his palms before one hand settled in over the back of his neck.

"You're right," Scott blurted out, "it was horrible timing."

"No, it's not that it was…" Logan opened his mouth in protest, straining to find something to comfort Scott with in the moment.

"Logan, I really don't want to talk about this right now," Scott confessed lowering his gaze to the floor. He brought his leg up underneath his body, hand pressed firmly on the pillow when he spoke up again, "I'm tired."

"Tired," Logan repeated knowing only too well that wasn't a good sign either, "well, if you just give me a few minutes to get undressed I can join you and…"

"No," Scott shook his head firmly, "I'm fine. I know you're probably still wide awake. You never go to bed this early."

"It's not that early Scott," Logan pointed out.

"It's early for you," Scott shrugged simply, "and I wouldn't ask you to join me just to have to be forced to lay here half the night wide awake and wishing you'd waited to go to bed."

"I've never wished that I'd waited to go to bed with you," Logan's voice carried with it a hint of flirting, revealing that same warmth and fire that was ever present between them. The expression on Logan's face was enough to cause Scott's pulse to quicken, his heart to race with the knowledge of just how devoted Logan was to pleasing him, yet with Jean's journal hidden beneath the pillow, chronicling how awful Scott had been to her, Scott couldn't help, but refuse Logan's offer.

"I really want to just sleep," Scott wrinkled his nose in protest, "You'd be completely bored out of your mind when I dozed off."

"Even so I'm willing to make an exception if it means getting to settle in with you," Logan couldn't help, but tease, "Besides you didn't actually think we were finished after that time we spent in the classroom, do you? I'd kind of hoped that you and I could…"

"I'm really tired," Scott turned away from Logan, kicking his feet down on the ground, "and I have a headache."

"A headache?" Logan began with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Yeah a headache," Scott repeated in a neutral voice.

"Like the one you had yesterday?" worry crept in over Logan's voice, "Or one of those I'm upset with you, so a headache sounds like a good way to get rid of me?"

"I'm not trying to get rid of you. I just don't feel all that up to much of anything right now," Scott bit down on his lower lip nervously, "I think I just need a shower and a long night of sleep."

"I see," Logan folded his arms in front of his chest. He eyed Scott with heavy scrutiny as Scott forced himself to meet Logan's eyes.

"Yeah, so why don't you just go see if there's a game going on in the game room or run a few rounds in the Danger Room for a while? I'm sure that'll help you unwind," Scott rose to his feet, crossing the room and pulling out pajamas from one of the drawers. His blue eyes shifted to the pillow again, knowing he should find a way to hide the journal better, but there wasn't a way to be discreet about it without being obvious in the moment.

"Scott," Logan couldn't help, but frown, "look I…"

"I really need a shower Logan," Scott kept his back to Logan, knowing only too well that in keeping Logan around he could give away what he'd been doing before Logan's arrival. Thinking of the words he'd read that were written by Jean in a frenzy, seeing the truth confirmed behind Scott's suspicions, he needed some air, some time to focus without Logan in the room.

"Okay," Logan finally decided, "I'll go grab a beer or something."

"Beer?" Scott repeated giving him a strange look.

"I have a few stashed at the garage in your trunk," Logan admitted with the beginnings of a smirk. "Want to join me?"

"Not this time," Scott shook his head, standing in the center of the bedroom with his pajamas in his arms. He eyed Logan expectantly, all the while thinking about the journal on the bed. While it was still covered by the pillow, Scott realized the last thing he wanted was for Logan to encounter the truth about what he'd been doing. "We can talk later."

"Sure," Logan eyed him suspiciously, "just be careful."

"With what?" Scott questioned.

"The shower," Logan noted, "given what happened last night…"

"I'll be fine," Scott promised turning his back to Logan in the hopes it would be enough to have Logan take a clue about Scott wanting him to leave.

"Fair enough," Logan finally relented walking over to the door. He paused right before reaching for the doorknob. In his hesitation, he looked over his shoulder preparing to say something more to Scott only to discover Scott was no longer in the room.

XXXXX

"Damn it," Logan cursed under his breath, hearing the water running in the bathroom. He knew that facing Scott would be difficult especially after Charles had requested that Logan keep Scott in the dark about the mission Logan would be leaving on in the morning. It wasn't that Logan had wanted to lie to Scott because that wasn't the case at all. When Logan had left the office, he'd started thinking about what Charles had requested, knowing full well it would undoubtedly upset Scott further. Yes, being around Victor was the last place where Logan wanted Scott to be, yet in thinking about what happened to Scott the last time he and Logan were separated, Logan couldn't help, but find his worries mounting. Should Victor find a way to seek out Scott again in Logan's absence it could prove deadly. If somehow Victor became aware that Logan was searching for him, that he had left Scott behind it could wind up becoming something that they couldn't recover from. Yes, Scott was stronger, but Victor's thirst for blood was unrelenting, unyielding and without effort he could easily attempt to tear Scott to pieces armed with another, more effective plan. Victor could destroy everything, could tear Scott away from Logan forever if he wasn't careful, yet…

"The marriage question might've been just as fatal," Logan grumbled under his breath, remembering Scott's strange behavior upon his arrival.

While Scott had been prone to tantrums in the past when he wasn't getting his way, this one felt different. He seemed more shaken up, wounded in his own right and that made Logan feel even guiltier. That was one emotion Logan hated. Guilt. It ate away at him, bringing him further into self loathing, deeper into a state of misery and remorse, which were also things Logan hated. Right now with an impending mission to take on Victor around the corner the last thing Logan wanted to leave with was having Scott angry with him. Sure, he could handle just about anything, but the disappointment in Scott's beautiful, blue eyes had nearly done him in. It was enough for him to find focus, to get his head back on straight when he opted to refrain from leaving their bedroom. While he could've gone out and taken a few beers to clear his head, he knew full well the only way he was going to patch things up was in having a discussion with Scott. Letting it go never helped and even though Logan wasn't one for discussions or insightful trips down memory lane, perhaps in being honest with Scott about his fears, explaining them to Scott in more detail, then Scott would understand. Yes, it would be something Logan was completely out of his element in doing, but deep down he knew Summers was worth it. That much he didn't need any convincing on.

Now looking around the bedroom, Logan threw caution to the wind and kicked off his boots. He reached for the button on his jeans preparing to join Scott in his shower whether he liked it or not. Giving Scott space was sometimes enough to smooth over the waters between them, but not tonight. Tonight Logan was going to be aggressive and firm in dealing with Scott. He'd show him all the things he couldn't say and yes, maybe Logan wasn't above using a little sexual distraction to ease Scott's stubbornness, but after their shower Logan would work his way into the inevitable conversation between them. He'd wrap Scott up in his arms, savor everything about the man he loved and open the door to the honesty that Scott had longed for. It would be brutal, but maybe just maybe the payoff would be worth it in the long run.

"You're not going to avoid me much longer Summers," Logan moved to unzip his jeans when he noticed the tip of a black binding revealing itself from underneath the pillow Scott was leaning upon. Curiously Logan walked over to the bed, recognizing the scent that lingered in the air in the moment. Scott's fingers had been all over it. He'd been holding it not long before Logan had arrived, touch imprinting over the dark, leather binding of the book. Scott's scent intermingled with another, less welcome one as Logan let out a breath of realization.

"Jean," Logan mouthed to himself remembering the journal he'd taken with him out of Scott and Jean's old room. Now as he reached for the pillow he noticed the book was open before him. He discovered it was pressed onto the sheets, opened up and revealing the secrets that Logan knew that neither he nor Scott were meant to see.

"Was he…?" Logan pondered aloud pulling the book off of the bed to notice the red writing on the page. Realizing that Scott had seemed distracted Logan wondered just what Scott had seen inside. All signs were leading to Scott having crossed into dangerous territory in looking at the book with his scent still present on the binding. Given the way the book was opened, Logan suspected Scott had been engrossed in reading when Logan had arrived. Suddenly everything began to make sense as Logan focused on the page before him wondering what specifically in the reading had caused Scott's upset.

_"There I was ready to surprise Scott, ready to show him how certain I was of our future, but when I got to the Danger Room it went all wrong. They didn't see me, but I saw them-when I discovered Scott with Logan I had no idea that Logan was even back at the time, but in his return he brought with him something that I never anticipated for all of us. When he was with Scott I saw that…"_

Logan's eyes widened, his breath catching in the back of his throat as he continued to peruse the page, reading Jean's account of how she'd gone out in search for Scott. She talked about how her trip was cut short, how she'd been desperate to speak with Scott about something important-something life changing for the both of them, but instead she'd found Scott and Logan sparring in the Danger Room. The entry went on to say that she'd held back hoping to see the two men come to terms with one another and let go of the animosity that had been brewing between them. She commented on how for a moment it seemed that Scott and Logan might've actually given up on their anger after having spent a significant time apart from one another, yet when she was about to reveal herself something else happened. There in the shadows she stood waiting and watching like a voyeur, catching the tail end of Scott and Logan's conversation before they'd drifted off into…

"Son of a bitch," Logan mouthed to himself, remembering only too well the details of the night Jean was writing about. Suddenly knowing what Scott was edge about in Logan's arrival, Logan sank back onto the bed and closed his eyes remembering the chain of events that had prompted his journey into the Danger Room that night. He could recall his own inner struggle with what he'd wanted and needed versus what was expected of him in his return to the school. That night had been a game changer, one that Logan had been waiting on baited breath to make happen, but for Scott it had been tenuous, a struggle between right and wrong. Ultimately temptation trumped logic. It had given fuel to Logan's fire for Scott, intensifying Logan's pursuit in the repressed leader of the X-Men. That night held a great many things in Logan's mind, but it was in Scott's surrender that Logan knew his battle of conscience was for not. It was the night Logan decided that he would fight for Scott, would continue his pursuit not giving a damn about anything else other then what he'd wanted-what he needed. With the memory fresh in his mind, Logan kept his eyes shut tightly in order to feel the moment carry upon him once again.

_"You're weak," an inner voice had taunted inside Logan's mind, driving him from his usual sour demeanor to a moment of downright misery once he'd found himself back at the school. He knew he should've gone to see Charles, to announce his return, but given the hour he'd arrived it didn't seem right. Then again nothing about what had happened in his time away felt right, including his leaving in the first place. It was all wrong. Everything had been tense, unlike what he'd been hoping for when he'd sought out the truth where his past was concerned. He'd hoped to figure things out, but his absence had only brought more confusion into his life. Now inside the Danger Room he was ready to rip anything or anyone apart if it would still the craziness inside of his mind. It was bad enough that his journey away from the school hadn't been as productive as he'd been hoping for in terms of rediscovering his past, yet it had been increasingly difficult for reasons he hadn't been eager to admit. He'd been distracted, far too sidetracked to accomplish anything and he had one person to blame for that-Scott Summers. Yes, before Logan had left he had been set on driving the stick out from Scott's ass, in prodding Scott to act decent for a change, but when Logan was gone, he hadn't been prepared for just how much he would wind up missing Scott. Somehow the pain in the ass had tempted him, enticed him in ways that he hadn't expected from the moment they'd first encountered one another. Hell as crazy as it sounded Scott played a big part of Logan's return. He'd hated to admit it, but in all the time he'd been away thoughts of Scott had lingered, stealing rationality from him at the most inappropriate of times. Still when Logan thought about seeing Scott again in all of his rigid, uptight persona, Logan couldn't help, but find himself eager to find a way to rip that righteous indignation out of him-to step up and show Scott what he was capable of with a little prodding. Granted Logan had no idea what had gone down with Scott in his absence, but if there was any signal that there still might be an opportunity to pick up where they'd left off with one another in that locker room, then Logan was going to pounce on it._

_"Fuck," Logan had cursed knowing only too well that he was living in a state of denial, refusing to admit what was really going on inside of his head. Before his retreat he'd hit on Jean twice as hard, watching Cyclops coming to pieces over the shameless displays of attention Logan had lavished on Jean. It was something that Logan knew full well would piss off Scott, but he couldn't stop himself. At the time he couldn't refrain from doing what he knew would get a rise out of Scott, especially after that time Scott had confronted him in the locker rooms. Yes, maybe Logan had known he was pushing the envelope when he'd pinned Scott down and had him practically begging for a release, but it was something Logan couldn't ignore. He couldn't let go of the thirst he'd felt for the uptight leader of the X-Men. Just knowing that Scott had a fire, a passion that most weren't aware of, in sensing the kind of lust Scott was capable of, Logan knew he wanted more. Logan knew Scott was like a drug, a forbidden addiction that would undoubtedly take Logan under in the long run if he continued to stay at the school. It was a bad idea to return, but Logan had done it anyway. Hell, he'd been so eager to see Scott again that he hadn't been able to wait until morning. He'd snuck in through the back, preparing to plan out his strategy for facing Scott again, thinking up some witty retort to get Scott riled up, but nothing felt right. Going to the room that was his felt uncomfortable and announcing he was back didn't seem appropriate either with everyone sleeping._

_"Sleeping," he thought to himself wondering if Scott was asleep-if he and Jean were tucked in with one another, wrapped up in a moment of tenderness. Not that it really mattered, but the more Logan thought about Scott and Jean together, the more he found himself hoping like hell things had changed in his absence. Unfortunately Logan knew better. He'd caught wind through a brief message Marie had sent to him that Scott and Jean were even more blissfully engaged now in one another._

_"Good for them," Logan had thought to himself grudgingly, but in reality all he could think about was how awful that situation was for him. It had almost kept him away, but given the greedy nature of the beast he couldn't stay away. He couldn't refrain from seeing if Cyclops still reacted to him the way he had before. Most would think he was crazy and maybe on some level Logan believed he was. Then again in all of Logan's obsessing he knew it couldn't be one sided because when Logan had made a move, Scott hadn't resisted…well, maybe initially he'd hesitated, but by the time Bobby had interrupted them, Logan was certain that Scott wanted it too-well, almost._

_That thought in itself put Logan back to his sour disposition remembering that upon his arrival at the school, he'd tested the waters at flirting, even tried to goad Cyclops into revealing something-anything about perhaps some lingering curiosity about the possibility of what if, but Scott had ignored him at every twist and turn. Scott had been sour, angry and so full of attitude right before Logan left that Logan had started to question if that night had really played out the way his mind had painted the image over time and time again. Even now thinking about Scott on the ground, hard and ready to be dominated, it gave Logan plenty of reason to want to challenge him again, to go forward and push the envelope, but unfortunately instead of just taking what he wanted as he'd always done, Logan had relented. He'd stepped back instead re-channeling his energies into flirting with Jean, in getting her in a frenzy because as it stood in getting close to her he could inadvertently keep himself on Scott's radar. Yes, Jean was sexy and someone Logan would easily enjoy for a night or two, but the temptation of Scott Summers, well that was the kind of prize that most men would wait a lifetime to obtain. Hell, if he had the opportunity to kiss Jean even once, it would be a pale substitute for having Scott, but he'd rationalized that even the slightest taste of Scott on Jean's lips would suffice, offering up a little consolation to his insatiable thirst for what he could never have._

_"Logan, you're back," Logan heard Scott's voice prompt him from his thoughts, bringing him back to the moment to discover the object of his obsession standing before him looking almost as surprised as Logan had been in the moment. Seeing Scott in the Danger Room was the last thing Logan had anticipated, yet in having Scott standing before him struggling to make small talk with Logan in his usual, controlled fashion was enough encouragement for Logan to continue pushing the envelope._

_Somehow the two men had agreed to a battle, to a fight in the Danger Room to burn off excess energy. It was something they had both intended in their separate arrivals, but in being able to engage in simulated combat with one another, side by side, it only served to supercharge Logan's senses, to make him all the more aware of Scott's presence in the room surrounding him. More often than not Logan had found his defensive positioning slipping away from the program when his eyes found their way to Scott's form, to the lean, muscular lines of Scott's body in that ridiculous workout suit Scott was wearing for their battle. Granted it was a refreshing change from his usual gear, but Scott was still far too overdressed for what Logan had wanted. Given their proximity Logan had craved a little bit of…_

_"Watch out!" Scott shouted pulling Logan from his thoughts to the moment when the simulator had sent a bot towards him, bringing it forward with a hard, penetrating rush that sent Logan across the room, completely laid out on his ass in the moment of carelessness. There was a loud, crashing sound of Logan's body impacting one of the machines, screeching and wailing when Logan felt something beneath him. He looked down seeing one of the gears from the machine were imbedded in the soft flesh of his thigh and he let out a loud scream of frustration._

_"Logan," Scott called out to him, disappearing for the moment into the smoke and fire before returning the room back to normal._

_Logan's eyes sought Scott out through the darkness, knowing only too well that the wound was nothing. Reaching down Logan pulled the gear out of his thigh, grunting when the wound began to seal itself up almost immediately. He could hear Scott's footsteps rushing forward, sense the worry in Scott's scent when Scott approached him with a tiny, white medical kit in hand._

_"Are you alright?" Scott knelt down beside Logan, immediately turning his attention to the torn pant leg that covered Logan's now healed thigh._

_"Of course I'm alright," Logan held up the shard of metal that was previously in his leg. He groaned and tossed it across the room, watching the metal bounce across the floor effortlessly, "Healing isn't a problem for me. You know that."_

_"Lucky you," Scott mouthed setting the medical kit down. He still reached out to touch Logan's leg, fingers colliding with the top of Logan's exposed thigh in a subtle brush. It took everything in Logan's power not to groan at the sensations that rippled over him with the chaste touch. "If only we could all heal as fast as you do."_

_"It's a blessing and a curse Scott," Logan spoke up behind gritted teeth, hoping to remain focused with the object of his latest obsession beside him, "I wouldn't wish this life on anyone."_

_"You and me both," Scott countered offhandedly. His hand released Logan and Logan sighed in dismay. Scott raised his hand up, motioning to the visor he was wearing, "Everything we have isn't without consequence."_

_"You and your damn consequences," Logan rolled his eyes at Scott, "I swear you never, ever just appreciate what you do have, do you? There's always something you need to stew over and be miserable with instead. Self-loathing is a prerequisite for you in daily life, isn't it?"_

_"Like you're one to talk about optimism Logan," Scott couldn't help, but roll his eyes from behind his visor._

_"Ah yes, I'm surrounded by the positivity police when it comes to everyone else, right Bub?" Logan grumbled with a snarl in his tone. "Do what I say, but not as I do, right?"_

_"No, that's not what I was…" Scott stopped himself with a groan. He pushed himself up off of the floor and threw his frustrated hands in the air, "I was just trying to say that I understood where you're coming from."_

_"I'm sure you do," Logan taunted reaching into his pocket, "Especially considering you've had all your memories erased, your identity ripped out of your head and it's left you feeling like you don't know who the hell you are, right?"_

_"Logan, that's not what I was," Scott softened his tone, attempting to come off as sympathetic. In that moment Logan never hated him more when pity fell from Scott's lips, "I'm sorry."_

_"Don't be sorry," Logan snarled up at him, "but at the same time just don't presume you have any idea what I've been through because you don't. You've been living the cushy life here with the Professor having a good thing with everyone around you. I seriously doubt you have any clue what real misery is…"_

_"I know misery," Scott replied with a wounded expression, "I'm well aware of sacrifice and loss…"_

_"I'm sure you are," Logan remarked dismissively, not wanting to engage in a pity party with Scott when he pulled out the one cigar he'd purposely brought with him for after his workout._

_"You can't smoke that in here," Scott placed his hands on his hips defiantly, "It's not allowed."_

_"Do you really think it's going to cause anymore damage to this place?" Logan chortled bringing the cigar to his lips in a defiant movement. "Besides I very seldom limit myself to only what's allowed."_

_"I mean it," Scott snarled down at him all the while returning to the same uptight prick that Logan had grown accustomed to Scott being, "You can't smoke that in here."_

_"So stop me," Logan wiggled his brow suggestively, hoping to taunt Scott into action. When Scott stood frozen, not moving an inch, Logan pushed the cigar further into his mouth and lit it, "As anticipated, you sit back and do nothing because it's easier for you not to rock the boat. Better to be complacent, instead of taking a stand and causing a rift, right?"_

_"You're an asshole," Scott spun on his heel with a huff, making no mistake about his annoyance with Logan._

_"And you're an impossible, self-righteous man who can't step up to defend what he feels is well within his rights to request," Logan taunted, knowing it was a low blow, but remembering only too well it was something that could readily push Scott's buttons, "though if you give up this easily over a cigar, then imagine how easy it'll be for me to have Jean."_

_"You stay away from her!" Scott warned, fists tensing up at his sides. He remained frozen, not bothering to move a muscle in the moment._

_Logan smirked to himself silently. Oh yeah, he'd said the magic word in mentioning Jean. He was about to get Cyclops exactly where he wanted him. It was only a matter of time before Scott was furious and…_

_"Make me," Logan dared darkly, his eyes taking in a long, dramatic pause over Scott's body, knowing only too well that Scott was ready to explode with rage. Twisting the knife in deeper, Logan spoke up in a more confident, arrogant twist of his tone, "Then again you can always do like you've done up to this point and remain inactive. Walk away and pout denying yourself the reaction that you really want to be making, but know when you do that sooner or later I'll take Jean, have my way with her and show her what a real man is all about."_

_"You son of a bitch!" Scott shrieked, his voice unfamiliar and angry when he spun around to charge at Logan. This time Scott held nothing back when his fists plummeted into Logan's face, pounding in an unrelenting fashion over and over again. The impact stung at first, but then expanded into something else when Logan felt Scott draw blood. It was enough to get Logan's pulse bouncing with eagerness, ready to embrace all the wild, untapped rage that Scott was capable of. Smiling inwardly Logan struck back sending Scott across the room in a rush of power. Still undeterred by Logan's gaining the upper hand, Scott pulled himself up, charging Logan again with the same madness surrounding his movements._

_"Bring it," Logan licked his lips appreciating the wilder side of Scott Summers. It was a far cry from the restrained, irreproachable man that Logan had secretly envied and longed for all at the same time. Now with Scott over him, sliding under him, right beside him and all around on the floor of the Danger Room, entering into a dance fueled by anger, Logan knew he wanted more-lots more. Having Scott's hands on him regardless of the capacity was arousing, tempting on so many levels that Logan knew it was only a matter of time before his animal instincts took charge showing Scott the true nature of his beast._

_"I hate you," Scott spat out when Logan had subdued him on the ground, pinning Scott to the floor in a lightening quick moment of reflex and instinct._

_"No you don't," Logan mouthed pushing his body in over Scott's, grinding his determined hips in harder over Scott's chiseled form. He felt Scott's breath escape from his lips in a harsh, tight whisper of anger, but it carried with it the sensation of lust bristling over Logan's skin. It took everything in his power to keep from kissing Scott in the moment, but knowing Scott's state of upset, Logan refrained._

_"You're the epitome of everything in this world that I've fought to steer clear of. You're back not even one night and you haven't changed at all. You're still full of brute force and irritating insults," Scott answered defiantly, a red glow building behind the visor that covered his eyes. His lips curved downward in a full, seething scowl causing Logan to press in harder over Scott's body. The movement made Scott's lips part further, his breath coming out in a sharp, distinctive hiss, "I've prided myself on trying to make the world a better place, but you…well, you just take, take, take and…"_

_"Tell you what," Logan finally decided coming to terms with a new idea in the back of his mind now that his every instinct wanted to eat up every inch of Scott. He wanted to tear him apart from within, drawing out the real passion that Scott kept a lid on, yet Logan held back attempting to play it cool, "let's make a wager on all of this."_

_"What?" Scott questioned giving Logan a puzzled look from his position beneath him._

_"We do another round of battle," Logan suggested smoothly, knowing only too well any excuse to get his hands on Scott would be good enough for him. Yes, it wasn't exactly what he wanted, but it would be a step in the right direction, "if you win this round, I stop flirting with Jean. I'll leave her be and you can be on your merry way to live out your boring lives together without my interference."_

_"And if you win?" Scott questioned suspiciously doubting Logan's true motivation, "Then what?"_

_"I think you can figure it out," Logan dipped down, mouth hovering over Scott's in an explicit, possessive movement unable to mask the want and desire that coursed through his body. Blood pumped through his veins, lust spiraling throughout every inch of him. He was a man possessed with want, driven by desire and with Scott's impossible body beneath him only one thought dominated him in the moment._

_"You should be mine Summers," Logan thought to himself, catching the way Scott's pulse bounced in his throat. He could see Scott's lips parting, mouth opening and closing in a desperate breath, mimicking the motions Logan would've wanted those lips to do over him, pressed up against his skin, taking Logan's desire into that raw, stubborn heat and…_

_"I won't let you have Jean if you win," Scott spat back at him defiantly. The words broke through Logan's thoughts, drawing him back to the present with an angry Scott glaring up from beneath him. Scott shook violently beneath Logan, attempting to dislodge himself from Logan's grip, but instead it only served to heighten Logan's arousal, bringing him to a position of increased want and longing all over again. "She doesn't work that way and neither do I. I'm not going to hand my fiancée over when…"_

_"I wasn't asking you to," Logan mouthed quietly, his eyes turning to almost a golden glow when lust permeated through his skin, pouring out into Scott's limber body beneath him. "Scott, I think we both know what I want."_

_"You can't have Jean," Scott writhed beneath him once again, his words betraying the actions of his free roaming hips that thrust up into Logan involuntarily. They had a jittery rhythm to them, an uneasy press when they crushed up against Logan's thigh, but Logan found himself appreciating Scott all the more in his futile defiance._

_"Jean's not really what I'm thinking about right now. Though if you'd like we can settle the terms now, we can forget about it," Logan mouthed lazily, his eyes beckoning Scott once again._

_"Forget about it?" Scott repeated with an uncertainty in his voice. His cheeks were flushed, lips still parted in a deliciously tempting curl, but there was still the uncertainty, the doubt and hesitation that Logan had wanted to dispose of between them. Logan wanted to claim, to touch, to dominate Scott in every way imaginable, yet Scott hadn't accepted Logan's invitation at this point._

_"That's right. We can simply dispose of the inevitable outcome and concede to the fact that I'd be victorious on the matter," Logan reached out in a surprising movement, brushing his hand against the side of Scott's face. It was an intimate gesture, possessive and needy in Logan's approach, but it didn't matter. When Logan's fingers eased up into Scott's damp, dark hair, he found himself overtaken with desire._

_"So this is what it feels like to be home again," Logan thought to himself. Seeing the labored breath escape from Scott's lips, he couldn't help, but want to bend down to kiss him like Scott had never been kissed before. All the fantasies he had of Scott paled in comparison to holding him, to hovering over him in the moment of madness in the Danger Room. He wanted to rip Scott out of his clothing, turn him over, forcing him onto all fours in order to make Scott beg again and again until finally…_

_"Not happening," Scott pushed Logan off of him defiantly. He sprung up onto his feet, his anger coiling through his body when he turned away from Logan. Marching towards the locker rooms, Scott shouted back at Logan with a hiss, "Stay away from Jean, Logan!"_

_"Damn it," Logan had growled under his breath once Scott had slipped out of his sight. Falling onto the floor, Logan brought his hands up over his face and let out a muted groan of agony. He'd blown it. He had Scott so very close to where he'd wanted him, finally making progress until Scott had stubbornly retreated, running back to his safety zone and leaving Logan even more sexually frustrated, then he'd been before Scott's arrival. Now with an agonizing hard on in his pants and a thirst for Scott Summers overtaking his senses, Logan realized there was no more hiding from the truth any longer. He knew what had consumed him, what wouldn't set him free now that the words fell freely from his lips in a desperate whisper of a plea, "I don't want Jean. I want you Scott!"_

Now seated on the center of his bed, Logan thought to the water running in the bathroom. It conjured up so many delicious fantasies about Scott, some of those moments he and Scott had experienced with one another more recent then others, but none of them more tantalizing, then the one that they'd shared with one another on that night when Logan had returned. It hadn't been something either had planned on, yet it had consumed the both of them, threatening to burn them alive from the fire that revealed itself to them. That night had been passionate, intense, but most of all Logan knew that they should've been alone. It had been a turning point for them, one that should've been their secret, but now with Jean's journal in hand Logan knew that would never be the case again. Everything about that night would remain between the three of them serving as something that Scott would undoubtedly use to torture himself with one way or another.

XXXXX


	11. Chapter 11

"That didn't go well at all," a voice inside Scott's head chastised him. It only further served as a reminder of how good he was at pushing away those he loved when he was racked by guilt. It was bad enough that Scott and Logan had argued earlier in the day, but now to be confronted by Jean's words, to have validation that she knew the truth, it added a whole new element of self-loathing in Scott. Yes, he'd always had his suspicions, believed that she'd wanted him to burn for what he'd done, yet he hadn't had concrete proof of just what she'd known before tonight. A part of Scott had wished that when she'd attacked him and took his powers away from him, it was because of his thoughts alone, because of the perception she'd picked up on from them. He'd often contemplated whether she'd known about Logan before they'd believed she'd died or if she'd realized the truth when she'd kissed Scott at the lake. In his mind he'd suspected that she'd been aware of it on some level when she sacrificed herself, but now with the condemning journal entry imprinted in his mind, Scott knew the truth. Jean had been well aware of everything that had taken place. She'd been hurt and angry over it, turning into someone else when the truth painfully consumed her.

"What did we do to her?" Scott questioned somberly, closing his eyes and lowering his head beneath the shower stream now that the memories resurfaced all over again, taking him back to the time when everything changed.

_Water penetrated Scott's body, biting into his skin as he stood beneath the steady, hot stream fighting to ignore the proposal Logan had laid out before him. He kept his eyes closed tightly knowing he should've gone back to his room, but he couldn't do that-not now, not when his every instinct was back in the moment feeling Logan on top of him in the Danger Room._

_"Scott, I think we both know what I want," Logan's voice echoed in Scott's mind taking him out of his comfort zone more than he'd cared to admit. It was bad enough that Scott had fantasized about Logan, but now for Logan to add fuel to the fire Scott realized that time hadn't changed anything. In all the time Logan was away, Scott's feelings hadn't changed. If anything in seeing Logan tonight it only proved to Scott that they'd intensified, expanding into something more._

_"This isn't happening," Scott mouthed to himself when he leaned forward sliding his hand against the tiled wall of the shower. He thought of all the things he should've said, the things he should've done in that moment when he'd first entered the Danger Room to discover Logan back again and ready for a fight. He had known it would lead to trouble, but nothing had him prepared for Logan's suggestive, indecent proposal. Jean had been the trigger for Scott, but Scott's lust had been the deciding factor in his retreat._

_"Jean's not really what I'm thinking about right now," Logan's voice taunted further, taking Scott back to that night in the locker room. He could remember the heat of Logan's breath on the side of his neck, could remember the pressure Logan had applied to his groin with his controlled movements. He could almost sense the bitter agony associated with Logan's teeth buried in the side of his neck, the rising level of want in knowing it was forbidden, yet feeling how wonderful temptation could be. Logan had blindsided him that night, opening him up to the possibility of something more-something that went against everything Scott had prided himself on being, yet…_

_Taking in a harsh breath, Scott tensed up knowing only too well that running to the showers hadn't been an adequate escape. Now with the water pounding down upon him furiously, he'd hoped for clarity, for some kind of relief from the conflicting emotions building inside of him, but he'd been met instead by desire. It crept it's way into his soul, betraying logic and reason when his body sprang to life consumed with thoughts of how things could've played out with Logan._

_"God," Scott groaned lowering his head once more, his fingers opening up against the wall when he found himself focusing on Logan. He could see the want in Logan's eyes even behind his visor, could feel the hunger in Logan's solid form pinning him down to the Danger Room floor. The flirting in Logan's voice was there, ever present in their exchanges so much so that the subject matter lost all relevance. Even when Scott knew he should be angry, he'd found himself oddly aroused, secretly hoping that Logan would continue to push his buttons, that he would give Scott a reason to lose all control and…_

_"And what?" he asked himself wondering how he could even indulged such a fantasy when he had Jean in his life. The very idea of wanting to share that part of himself with anyone else, let alone Logan was preposterous. The very thought of having such an erotic, intimate, primitive experience with anyone other than Jean should've horrified Scott, but now as he felt his body hardening, his length thrusting upward consumed by lust, he knew there was no escaping it. He wanted Logan so bad he could almost taste it._

_Letting out a harsh exhale, Scott tried to dismiss his thoughts, to banish the thirst that could never be quenched in his life. He couldn't ever betray Jean. Deep down he hoped there was a part of him that still didn't want to, yet with every brush of Logan's body over his, every seemingly insignificant touch, Scott was caught up in a moment of want and need. It penetrated his mind, flooding his senses with an outpour of longing. It was so much more than he'd anticipated discovering when his animal instincts lead him to longing for Logan. Yes, he'd wanted Jean, thought of all the romantic things he'd experienced with her over the years, but with Logan it felt raw, carnal, primitive and like absolutely everything he had fought to keep out of his life. He was on the path of the straight and narrow, the shining example of what the leader of the X-Men should be, but with Logan in his life, he was a complete mess._

_"Damn it," Scott cursed again, unable to hold back on the profanity now that he stood in the center of the showers overtaken by desire. He could easily step forward, seeking out the dials in the shower and turning them to an icy blast. That would certainly do the trick long enough for him to return to his room, to slip into bed and feel guilt eat away at him over how his mind was ready to betray Jean in every way imaginable. His body wanted it too even if logic dictated otherwise. Still, it wasn't allowed. It was inappropriate and…_

_"Stop!" he snapped at himself, hand sliding across the wall to the dial in the shower. If he could just take five minutes of the icy spray, then the desire would be gone. The sinful notions would leave his head, spilling themselves from his body and giving him peace of mind. However, with the thought of Logan sweaty and half dressed back in the Danger Room consuming him, Scott realized it was no use._

_"Damn it," he mouthed to himself knowing that anyone who had been close to him right now would be appalled by his language. They would be highly disappointed by his behavior, but in knowing he couldn't do anything else for the rest of the evening on his own, Scott's finger tips left the dial on the wall, opting to slide down over his distended flesh. He bit down on his lower lip, half whimpering, half groaning shamefully when he wrapped his fingers around his length knowing only too well that this was a desperate move on his part. Still with a vivid image of Logan in his mind, Scott started to slide his partially closed fist up and down over his body, trying to mimic the movements he'd experienced from Logan back in the locker room. It wasn't the same, didn't offer the same kind of rush, but as Scott's thoughts intensified, bringing clearer images of the many times he'd seen Logan naked-of the solid strength of Logan's powerful chest, the way that his unruly dark hair framed his face, the bold, aggressive lines of his rock hard abs lending weight to the overwhelmingly impressive manhood Logan had shamelessly put on display again and again, he knew he couldn't hold back any longer. He had to give in to temptation, to simply embrace the want and…_

_"You look a bit distracted Summers," Scott heard a voice call out to him, pulling him from his moment of self-gratification. He didn't have to turn around to know that Logan was standing behind him, clearly catching Scott's private moment of humiliation in the showers. Embarrassed Scott released his flesh, doing his best to cover up his actions, but knowing it was a futile attempt when Logan's voice vibrated further through the showers, "Perhaps you'd like me to come back later."_

_"No," Scott blurted out spontaneously with the throaty protest that spilled over his lips, "I don't want you to come back later. Just…"_

_"What?" Logan questioned, amusement carrying over his tone. Although Scott couldn't see Logan, he could feel Logan's eyes upon him, scrutinizing him in the moment of awkward nudity, still aroused and pathetic before Logan in the steam filled showers._

_"Stay," Scott spat out surprising himself in the moment, his lower lip trembling. He leaned forward, bringing the front of his head against the tiled wall as a defeated sigh carried over his lips._

_"With you?" Logan questioned stepping in closer to Scott, not bothering to wait for an answer in Scott's moment of hesitation._

_Scott nodded, teeth sinking further into his lip, on the verge of drawing blood when he felt Logan's arms surround him. In an instant Logan's hands were over him, fingers tracing up and over Scott's chest, imprinting their rough, exploratory movements deep into Scott's skin. With Scott's eyes closed tightly he felt Logan's teeth sink into the soft flesh between his neck and shoulder, tongue swirling around upward towards Scott's earlobe with a skilled, commanding brush. The roughness of Logan's touch in contrast to the tenderness of his tongue sent Scott's body ablaze, skin on fire, in a state of disbelief on how bold his request had been._

_Unable to hold back on the moment, Scott leaned back into Logan feeling Logan's damp thighs behind him. A gulp built up in the back of Scott's throat knowing that Logan was naked as well. Remembering all the times in the past that Scott had seen Logan undressed, all the moments that he'd shamefully stolen a forbidden glance at Logan's powerful, all masculine form, it only served to add fuel to the fire. When Scott felt Logan's impressive arousal against him, getting familiar with Scott's body now that it was pressed up against the back of Scott's thigh, Scott let out a small groan realizing logic was no longer in control of his actions._

_While Scott wasn't sure how long Logan had been there watching him, taking in Scott's silent suffering, there was something about the muscled contours of Logan's hard body pressed against Scott that gave him another reason for longing. With shaky fingers, Scott pressed his hand over Logan's, squeezing Logan's fingers urgently against the front of his chest, wanting more than anything to find the courage to tear himself away from Logan, but instead he felt himself pushing Logan's hand down over his body, sliding over the slick skin of his abdomen until finally…_

_"This is exactly the kind of order I've been waiting for from you Summers," Logan mused with delight, nibbling on Scott's earlobe, taking it in between his teeth in a possessive bite._

_A moment later Logan's thick fingers surrounded Scott, picking up where Scott had left off in touching himself. Scott groaned sliding his hips back into Logan's rock solid form. He kept his eyes closed tightly, practicing the same control that he'd perfected through the years in protecting those around him. His body was on sensory overload, mind reeling with thoughts of what he must look like, about how ridiculous he must've sounded panting Logan's name in a helpless whisper of a breath. He felt Logan's touch sliding over him, up and down, constricting and circling, creating an erotic friction that went beyond anything he'd ever experienced before. Yes, he'd been with Jean, but her soft, tentative hands were no comparison to Logan's bold, powerful, determined fingers. Scott noted the way that Logan took his time, pressing all the right buttons inside of Scott alternating his touch with one hand between Scott's thighs and the other clasped around his length, hoping to pull a very repressed Scott out from within._

_Logan's palm sheathed him, causing Scott's chest to rise and fall heavily with each downward slide. Scott rose up on his toes when Logan eased upward with his palm, his tongue lapping at the side of Scott's neck in a reckless rhythm. Scott couldn't help, but moan while pushing forward against the shower wall, turning his face to the side to feel the steam invade his nostrils, sweeping over his senses, causing him to burn from within with want and need. Logan's fist pumped over his flesh, harder, faster, more urgent causing Scott's hips to bump forward. Scott felt Logan's other hand return to his hair, wrenching Scott's head back further to expose Scott's now reddening flesh from the heat of the water and the mood surrounding them. Logan tangled Scott's hair tighter, twisting it roughly before he pressed ravenous kisses upon Scott's needy skin. The impulses rushed through Scott's body, putting him on sensory overload between Logan's tongue, teeth and touch all designed to bring Scott to his knees, to cause all the walls to come crashing down around him, leaving him vulnerable and raw, revealing at long last the lust that he'd buried in his heart. Logan was rough, commanding, yet focused entirely on what Scott needed in the moment. It was as if Logan had read his mind when the movement of Logan's fingers over Scott's betraying flesh continued, stroking Scott in all the right places now that Scott's hips bounced up towards Logan's touch approvingly, matching Logan's rhythm, picking up the pace until finally Scott felt the first wave of tremors upon him, threatening to tear him apart from within._

_"Oh God," Scott bellowed with a small howl of agony. His teeth sank deeper into his lip, body tightening, tensing up in the culmination of lust, embarrassment and release when he spilled himself into Logan's possessive touch, knowing only too well there would be no hiding the truth any longer. Shudders ripped through his body, whimpers of need driving on his release until finally he fell weightlessly against the wall, breathless and overtaken by the aftermath of pleasure._

_Silence consumed the both of them, giving way to the feel of the steam and the water surrounding them in the moment. Scott's breath was still labored, heart plummeting up from his chest into the back of his throat as the weight of what he'd allowed to happen consumed him. For a minute he half expected to wake up in bed, having dreamt about it, but with Logan's arms still wrapped around him, fingers sliding over Scott's inner thighs in a soothing, massaging motion, Scott knew it wasn't just a dream. With Logan's length sliding in against Scott's outer thigh alerting Scott to Logan's desire, there was no mistaking the reality of what they'd entered into with one another. There would be no turning back, not when they'd both wanted and needed this so very much._

_"Turn around Summers," Logan ordered releasing Scott in the moment much to his dismay. Scott whimpered in protest, body tensing up with the realization of how far he'd fallen from logic with Logan behind him. More than anything he wanted to reach for a towel, to collect his things and retreat to his room to condemn himself, to simply banish everyone from his mind long enough to pull himself together. He hated Logan. That much he was sure of, yet when he felt Logan's commanding hands on his hips, guiding Scott to face him fully, Scott couldn't help, but comply to Logan's request._

_"Very nice," Logan smirked approvingly, his amusement carrying over the sound of the pulsating water overhead. Scott felt Logan reach out to him, claiming Scott's fingers in his oversized hands. Embarrassed by his lack of self control in losing himself to Logan's touch, Scott thought about pushing Logan away, about walking out of the moment with the miniscule remainder of his dignity in tact, but before he knew it his hands were up high over his head, pressed back into the wall with a force unlike any other he'd known._

_"Don't move," Logan ordered firmly, pushing Scott against the wall with a small snap. The movement caused Scott to recoil, catching water in between his lips with a small choke. He turned his head to the side fighting to keep his eyes closed tightly with the coughing that built up inside of him._

_"Hey," Logan's arm wrapped around Scott's waist possessively, "we don't want you to drown here tonight. I'd have a hell of a lot of explaining to do then."_

_"Logan I…" Scott began feeling himself suddenly out of the water, exposed to the cool air surrounding them in the shower area that was beside the shower spray that Scott had been using. He felt Logan's hands cup his face, coaxing Scott forward towards him in a worried movement._

_"You alright?" Logan questioned with the first hint of concern in his tone. It was softer, more human in his approach and for the first time since Scott and Logan had butted heads, Scott found himself surprised by Logan in an entirely different way. Logan's hand touched at Scott's cheek, fingertips easing into Scott's soaked hair when Scott expelled a labored breath._

_"Do you really want the truth in that answer?" Scott questioned painfully knowing only to well that what they were about to enter into was wrong._

_"Not really," Logan decided leaning forward in an attempt to seek out Scott's lips. For a moment Scott contemplated giving in to the warmth of Logan above him, but at the last second he'd chickened out, thinking about Jean and he turned away. The movement pained him, but he'd already fallen too far for redemption. A kiss would mean that…_

_"Don't worry about it," Logan slurred instead opting to kiss the side of Scott's neck. His tongue and teeth resumed in their torturous explorations, again pushing Scott's hands up high over his body, stretching him out in an uncomfortable position just long enough for Scott's attention to return to Logan's hard, ready form beside him. Logan stepped forward brushing his length against Scott's inner thigh and Scott whimpered._

_"Logan let me…" Scott began nervously, thinking about how he'd been so caught up in his own release that he hadn't given any thought to the man that had sent him over the edge. While he hadn't been planning on being with Logan, on sharing this kind of experience with the man who had driven him to madness, there was something about the sense of fairness that Scott felt that caused him to shift beneath Logan._

_"I'm not letting you go," Logan frowned heavily, his words disappointed and uneasy in the moment, "not yet."_

_"I'm not leaving. I just want…" Scott bit back on his words, wondering if he could say it, if he could be honest with himself enough to take an active step towards abandoning everything that had mattered to him up until that point in time. He'd already revealed his dark intentions, having experienced release with Logan, but now…_

_"What?" Logan questioned with an uncertainty in his voice._

_"I want to touch you," Scott mouthed without hesitation, his words hot, desperate and labored with his breath. "I want to do what you just did to me. I want to just…"_

_Logan said nothing, reluctantly releasing one of Scott's hands and allowing it to fall down beside him once again. Scott felt a numbness carry over him momentarily before he reached out through the darkness that surrounded him to seek out Logan. Tentatively he felt his hand brush up against what he suspected was Logan's hip. Logan tensed up, revealing a moment of uncharacteristic uncertainty. A few seconds passed where neither man made a move, simply staying frozen in silence until finally Scott took the initiative to explore the solid, steely contours of Logan's body, fingers sliding out over his hip, dipping downward to connect with a soft brush of damp skin and hair before…_

_"Summers," Logan breathed his name, never sounding more tempting or alluring then in that moment when Scott's fingers first collided with Logan's solid length before him. Although Scott hadn't been able to see Logan, he could remember the way Logan's body felt over him, pressed in against him, outlining the arousal that Logan had carried with him during their encounters. Now as Scott held it's weight in his hand, contemplating how he'd gone from being ashamed to touch himself to wanting to touch Logan, Scott couldn't help, but feel a rush of thrill in the moment. Unable to keep from cracking a small grin in knowing the tables had turned, Scott realized that he was calling the shots for the time being with Logan, holding him captive with his touch. Knowing that Logan was completely giving himself over to Scott, he wrapped his fingers around Logan, wanting to give back the same kind of pleasure and release Logan had given him. At first, Scott was hesitant, not sure of his actions, but when he felt Logan's hand press over his, guiding his movements, he knew that he was on the right path._

_"That's good," Logan's strained voice slurred, his breath hot and needy, hanging over Scott's shoulder when they worked together to bring Logan towards a release. Just the sound alone was enough to awaken Scott's senses, to arouse that hidden lust inside of him all over again, but when the scent of sex carried over Scott once more, he felt the beginnings of lust spark something inside of him. Opening his mouth to say something further, Scott continued to touch Logan, knowing it was the wrong thing to do, yet it had never felt as right as it did in hearing Logan's labored breath growing more desperate with each passing second. It was music to Scott's ears, a welcome distraction when Logan's fingers commanded his, driving Scott further beyond the point of no return. It was incredibly liberating, pulling Scott outside of the rigid walls he'd surrounded himself by-enough to awaken his body all over again when Logan's other hand reached out to him, hoping to stir up Scott's senses enough to return to life._

_"Summers," Logan breathed his name, panting harder then before, his words guiding Scott towards bringing Logan to the same bliss he'd experienced when…_

_"Scott," Scott heard another voice call out to him. He stiffened feeling Logan's hips thrust forward again and again, body hard and ready for release when Logan pushed forward bringing his hands up over the sides of Scott's head caging him inside the moment._

_"Don't stop," Logan half pleaded, resting his head on Scott's shoulder, no longer being firm or authoritative in the situation when Scott continued to stroke him, one hand massaging in between Logan's shoulders blades, silently coaxing him to let go while the other continued to touch him without restraint, lost in a sea of longing until finally Logan tensed up over him, grunting with release into Scott's hand._

Now opening his eyes, Scott let out a harsh breath of realization knowing that there was no more pretending that he hadn't been unfaithful to Jean. While he hadn't had sex with Logan that night, he'd crossed the line into becoming a full fledged cheater, doing to Jean the very things that he'd been complaining about when Logan had flirted with Jean. He could clearly recall the strange, awkward feeling that had settled in over him after Logan's head lingered on his shoulder, the way Logan's lips pressed into the side of his neck, silently coaxing Scott to forget about the life he had before with Jean. It was so tempting, something that Scott had considered, but when the sound of footsteps in the distance had broken through the aftermath of the moment, Scott had panicked. He'd apologized to Logan, muttering something about wishing things were different before he'd rushed off to lock himself away in his room, hoping like hell to banish the memory from his mind forever.

That night had marked the end of Scott Summers as everyone had known him to be. No longer did he show complete restraint or control all of the time. He'd pushed reason aside long enough to give in to want and desire, to enter into shaky ground with Logan, but before he could process what was happening inside of him everything changed. The next morning Scott had heard everyone buzzing about Logan's return talking about Logan's arrival at the school. Scott had known about it from their night together, yet when Scott had walked downstairs to see Jean and Logan talking to one another, he'd feared that Logan would expose the truth. He'd wondered if Logan would share the dirty details of their lustful acts in the showers, but Logan had played it cool. They'd exchanged barbs with one another, making Scott increasingly uncomfortable in knowing the truth. Logan may have fooled the rest of them into thinking that he'd just returned home, but Scott's body was well aware of the lie. Logan had still flirted, doing their silent little dance with Scott's keys until Scott had stomped off in search of Jean before she left again for Boston. When he'd found her, she seemed happy, carefree and genuinely thrilled to see Logan back again, seemingly oblivious to what had taken place. It had been the same as always in the brief exchange Scott had with her even with his guilt consuming him, yet before they could talk about it circumstance had fallen upon all of them yet again. Scott had hated lying to her about what he'd done, had tried to figure out what was happening, but before he knew it Jean was off with Storm to Boston in search for Kurt. Scott had escorted Charles away from the school while Logan had stayed to keep an eye on things with the children. It seemed like the perfect time away to contemplate the changes that were too prevalent to ignore, but unfortunately Scott never had the opportunity to be honest with Jean. He'd never had the chance to share with her what he'd done or find a way to make it up for her once she'd sacrificed herself and…

"She knew," Logan's voice pulled Scott from the moment of self-loathing. For the first time since Scott had been hiding in his private shower, he realized he was no longer alone. Despite his words to Logan, his lover had followed him into his inner sanctum refusing to allow him the brunt of the guilt on his own, "I read the journal Scott. I know why you're upset."

xxxxx


	12. Chapter 12

"I read the journal Scott. I know why you're upset," Logan's words resonated through the shower, bringing Scott back to the reality that he'd surrounded himself with. He hadn't been successful in hiding the truth from Jean about his fall from grace. Now, it seemed that he'd suffered the same fate in keeping the truth about his voyeuristic journey into reading Jean's journal away from Logan as well. With a heavy sigh, Scott lowered his head shamefully once again.

"So then you know that she saw us together that night you returned? I thought for so long that we were careful about it especially the next morning when you pretended you'd just arrived," Scott closed his eyes tightly, struggling to fight the thoughts of the horror Jean must've experienced in watching Scott and Logan pawing away at one another, giving in to lust in ways that both men had been proclaiming to want to share with her. Unlike Logan however, Scott had been committed to Jean, wanting to provide her with a better life, to take her as his wife and share forever with her, but in a night everything had changed. He'd lost himself to self satisfaction and…

"I wish she hadn't walked in on us," Logan wrapped his arms around Scott's waist tightly, hoping to provide him with the comfort he'd needed in the moment, "She shouldn't have witnessed that."

"We shouldn't have done that," Scott stiffened against Logan's embrace feeling guilty for needing it so very much, "Not then, not there."

"Scott," Logan couldn't help, but frown, "I don't regret what happened, so don't you start saying that you do. Yes, it was a shitty thing to do to Jean at the time, but…"

"But nothing," Scott found the courage to turn around and face Logan fully, "it was a shitty thing to do to the both of you. I never should've put you both in that position. I never should've opened the door to hurting either one of you that night. You both had expectations of me, things that you'd depended on where I was concerned, yet…"

"Scott, this is my fault. I kept pushing the issue and I forced your hand. I was the one who was out of line in this Scott, not you," Logan frowned seeing the anguish behind Scott's deep, blue eyes.

"Don't try to make me out to be the good guy Logan because I wasn't," Scott refused to accept Logan's words of comfort, "I promised her forever when I wanted you. She was having nightmares. I could see she was breaking inside, needing me more each day, but I was so consumed with lust. I wanted to help her, yet I knew how I felt about you, about what I wanted from you, but I kept denying it. I kept refusing to accept what I'd known in my heart to be true. I kept saying no, but with my actions I was leading you on behind her back always fighting it until I couldn't hold back any longer and…"

"I kept pursuing you too," Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott's face, "I wasn't innocent in all of this Scott. Hell, I'm the one that instigated the process, pushing it further along to begin with. I followed you into the showers that night, remember?"

"I'm the one that invited you to join me," Scott hung his head down somberly, his eyes divided by guilt and anguish over hurting Jean.

"I would've done it regardless," Logan reached out to curl his finger underneath Scott's chin in an attempt to coax him to meet his eyes, "I was greedy and selfish Scott. I didn't think about what it would do to your life. I wasn't weighing out the consequences back then because I wasn't about to back down when I planned on taking you that night one way or the other."

"Logan we both know that…" Scott bit down on his lower lip in a small protest.

"All the time I was away all I could think about was you Scott," Logan confessed in an impassioned tone. "It consumed everything that I did. Hell, when I took the bike I was hoping you'd follow, that you'd meet me with guns blazing like you did that night in the locker room."

"Logan…" Scott opened his mouth in protest, attempting to dissuade Logan's confession.

"It's the truth Scott. I was so consumed by thoughts of you that I was distracted. When I'd come home that night more than anything I wanted to see if you still felt it too. Maybe it was lust or passion guiding me at the time, but there was something about you I couldn't shake. It's why I came home that night hoping desperately I would find you without Jean. It wasn't fair to you or your situation Scott, but I couldn't get you out of my mind," Logan divulged thinking about his return to the school. "You were the reason I came back Scott, only you."

"Logan I…" Scott felt Logan's thumb brush over his bottom lip tenderly, creating a soft contrast to Logan's otherwise commanding touch.

"When you walked away, I knew I wouldn't be satisfied with that outcome," Logan eased his fingers up into Scott's soaked, dark hair, "When I saw you standing there in the shower, touching yourself, waiting for someone to touch you in the ways you'd been denying yourself for so very long, I knew I wanted that someone to be me."

"I wanted it to be you," Scott closed his eyes guiltily.

"We weren't wrong. Maybe the timing wasn't the easiest for everyone involved, but I never should've allowed us to keep pretending that it didn't happen. We shouldn't have tried to deny it like we did when we let everyone believe that the night never existed for us, but damn it Scott as I said before we weren't wrong for giving in to it," Logan argued, pressing his hands firmly over the side of Scott's face. He let out a long exhale, his words raw and desperate in the midst of Scott's emotion, "We still aren't wrong. You believe that, don't you?"

Scott nodded unable to make eye contact with Logan.

"Scott?" Logan questioned wearily. The tension was suffocating, claiming most of the room in the shower now that Scott had started to shut down right before Logan. "Scott please talk to me…"

"I love you Logan," Scott's tearful blue eyes finally reopened unable to hide from the truth in his heart, "In the past I tried to write it off as a physical attraction, but it's so much more than that. I've always wanted you Logan even when I knew it would hurt her."

"I love you too Summers," Logan answered readily, not bothering to censor himself in the moment, "This is completely uncharted territory for me and maybe I'm not always the best at conveying that message to you, but it's the truth. I know I might shut down at times because a part of me feels like I don't deserve you or this happiness you give me because of the person I am Scott, but you're everything that I've always wanted and needed. Believe me when I tell you that I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. You know that about me. Regardless of whether it was right or wrong I knew from the start that you were the one. You were what I'd always longed for in my life."

"Logan…." Scott opened his mouth to say something further.

"Scott, I wasn't able to finally accept myself until you," Logan continued running his fingers across the hollow of Scott's cheekbone tenderly, "I was miserable for so long until you crossed paths with me. I don't know how or why, but you changed me Scott. You made me want to be a better person for the first time that I can remember."

"I didn't even begin to come to life before you arrived," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "In all my years of discipline and control, I thought that I'd figured it all out, but you changed that for me. You changed everything too."

"I'm a pain in the ass like that I guess when it comes to adding complications to your life," Logan attempted to infuse humor into the situation, knowing it was a futile attempt, but still in seeing the sadness behind Scott's eyes, Logan couldn't help but wish he could change things.

"Yeah, you are," Scott agreed with the beginnings of a small smile involuntarily rising over his lips, "but that doesn't make me want or need you any less."

"I need you too Summers," Logan confessed in an impassioned tone, "even if the timing was off, everything we did, everything we've shared it brought us to where we are now together in this moment and we can't regret that. We can't take back what in essence makes us, well…us."

"Even so," Scott sighed heavily, "you can't convince me that seeing us didn't drive her to madness. I knew she was on shaky ground for a while before your return. I could see she was growing increasingly upset and I tried to help her. Time and time again I tried to pretend that something else was happening to her, but in knowing that I wanted you…"

"I wanted you too," Logan blurted out without hesitation, "I've wanted you from the start Scott and deep down she knew that. She was aware of what was happening, but I don't believe that's what caused her downward spiral."

"We used her to hide behind what was happening with us," Scott replied with a heavy heart, "I promised her happiness, but then I ended up breaking her heart Logan. I should've told her the truth, should've been honest with myself before I betrayed her, before I made you feel like a dirty, little secret with the way I ran out on you that night."

"You weren't ready for it Scott," Logan sighed feeling a heaviness in his chest, "It wasn't like either one of us anticipated it happening like it did. Well, no that's not entirely true because it was all I could think about when I was gone. I couldn't stop obsessing over you and…"

"I started trying to hide my thoughts from Jean. She was so tortured after Liberty Island. I could see something was happening to her, hurting her and I wanted to try to pull her through it. The more I fought to hold onto her and I, the more I started thinking about you," Scott's face grew a pale shade of crimson. "You kept showing up in my dreams night after night, yet when you returned I wasn't prepared for it. I thought that I could control it, but when you arrived…Logan, I was horrible to you. The next morning I acted like a jerk. I never, ever should've behaved like that when I saw you standing there doing your best to give me an out…"

"I wasn't giving you an out," Logan frowned back at him, "I was simply trying to find another way in. After one taste of you I was hooked. I knew that sooner or later you'd give in and when you did…"

"I still shouldn't have done things the way I did," Scott paused feeling a tiny shiver of an exhale overtake him.

"I shouldn't have either," Logan added softly, "I knew that you were struggling with what was happening Scott. I could see that it wasn't easy for you, but I kept pushing you, kept goading you towards giving in. I wasn't taking what you had here into consideration at the time. I just wanted what I wanted and consequences be damned."

"We both felt that way," Scott sighed in recollection, "The next day when Jean went to Boston and I escorted Charles to see Magneto…"

"Do you think that he knew that we had…?" Logan's eyes widened with surprise.

"He's a telepath. How could he not know what was consuming me the next day after we…?" Scott gulped down harder then before. "He must've sensed a disturbance with Jean. Must've seen that…"

"I was a bullshit liar when I tried to play it off like I'd just come up to the school on your bike after spending a night at the bar trying to figure where I went wrong," Logan let out an ironic laugh, "I thought I'd played it smoothly, but I'm sure it was written all over my face. Being near you I can't hide it. You get under my skin Scott."

"You were at a bar after you and I…?" Scott softened his tone, thinking back to their night together. "You left for a drink?"

"Does that really surprise you knowing who I am?" Logan couldn't help, but smirk poignantly. "I needed to clear my head because all I wanted to do after you left was chase after you. I couldn't trust myself after you ran away. I knew that I wasn't in control any longer when everything inside of me wanted to leave the bar, go back to the school, pull you from your room and force you to face me again."

"I'm sorry," Scott lowered his head shamefully, "I just made a huge mess of everything and…"

"No I'm sorry Scott. I shouldn't have put you in a position to feel this way," Logan eased his fingers into Scott's damp, dark hair. "I'm not saying I feel regrets about what began with us, but if anyone should take the brunt of the blame for Jean, it's me. I kept pushing the envelope."

"I invited you in," Scott's words came out in a shivering exhale.

"Scott, we can't go back and change the past," Logan decided shaking his head firmly, "but we can work on the future Scott. That's what's important. That's what matters."

"I just wish I hadn't taken Jean's future from her Logan," Scott sighed feeling a heaviness in his chest.

"You didn't Scott," Logan clarified, "She made her own decisions."

"Based on an emotional response to what she witnessed between us," Scott mouthed guiltily, "She deserved so much more."

"I know she did," Logan agreed feeling Scott lean forward, dropping down to bury his head in Logan's chest. Wrapping his arms tighter around Scott, Logan pressed a kiss over the top of Scott's head, "We all did."

"We still have a chance at happiness, but Jean," Scott began guiltily, "she won't ever have that again."

"You have to let go of the guilt Scott," Logan squeezed Scott tighter than ever, "You need to finally forgive yourself for what happened. Jean would want you to do that."

"Would she?" Scott questioned pulling his head up to meet Logan's eyes. "Do you really believe that she would be comforted by the thought that you and I wound up together after we played her for a fool?"

"We weren't trying to hurt her Scott," Logan sighed heavily, "It just happened."

"Happened or not, it began a downward spiral in her life. She was already on shaky ground. Her nightmares consumed her. She was coping with that, but in seeing that she knew about us it had to mean when she sacrificed herself to save everyone that she was…" Scott opened his mouth in protest, thinking about Jean's pain.

"Doing what she would've done even if she hadn't known," Logan interrupted refusing to allow Scott to carry the burden of Jean's decision, "Jean, for the most part, was a good woman who cared about those around her. She would've risked it all to save the world if she thought it would make a difference. You and I both know that."

"Yes, but when she returned…" Scott bit back on the lump in the back of his throat, "She knew Logan. She was so angry and rightfully so. When she took my powers away from me…"

"She wasn't Jean," Logan insisted with a frown, "She hadn't been Jean for a while. Yes, maybe Phoenix was a part of her, but that part of her was there long before you and I upset her. We can't allow ourselves to be lost in things we can't change. Yes, maybe it's an ugly part of the past with what happened to Jean, but at the same time…"

"I was horrible to her. I hurt her and…" Scott opened his mouth, preparing to return to the self loathing that he'd taken himself to time and time again over the way Jean's fate had panned out for her.

While Logan knew it was a part of who Scott was, always putting those he cared about ahead of what was right for him, Logan also knew full well what had become of Scott the last time he'd gone down that road. In Jean's 'death' Scott had turned away from the world around him, taking the burden on his shoulders to the point of a near breakdown. Self-loathing lead to closing himself off, which lead to distances between them and then disaster. Not willing to open the door to that conversation again, Logan leaned forward claiming Scott's protesting lips in a hungry kiss.

Scott's body tensed up, confusion sweeping over his senses in the unexpected kiss, causing him to recoil away from Logan, but it didn't matter. Scott Summers was too consumed by guilt for his own good and even if it was part of what Logan had grown to anticipate from Scott, he wasn't about to allow it to drive Scott further away from sanity all over again. Fighting to hold onto Scott, Logan roughly seized the back of Scott's head using enough force to keep Scott positioned beside him. His other hand traveled down over Scott's spine, fingers tracing over it's smooth contours until his palm finally settled in on Scott's bottom, offering up a domineering squeeze.

"Logan wait," Scott's pouting lips curved in objection, his blue eyes overtaken by shame and confusion in what prompted the kiss.

"Don't over think this," Logan half pleaded, squeezing Scott closer to him, "just…"

"Logan, right now I just can't stop thinking about…" Scott started with an uneasiness in his voice. He attempted to pull away, to break free of Logan's arms that surrounded him, but was met by fierce opposition. Logan stepped forward taking Scott back into the shower wall with the movement. His teeth sank into Scott's lower lip causing Scott to whimper.

"Stop talking Summers," Logan snarled devouring Scott's lips again, feeding on their succulent sweetness, knowing that Scott's protests would soon give way to lust. Logan massaged Scott's flesh again, digging his fingers into Scott's bottom possessively in an attempt to claim ownership once again-to remind Scott that regardless of where he'd started with Jean, his path was now with Logan. Guilt couldn't steal that from them. With the movement, Scott let out a small mewling sound, relinquishing his initial hesitations about their kiss. Jean's memory slipped out of Scott's mind allowing Logan to relish the feel of Scott's lips parting, mouth opening to accept Logan's tongue, to embrace the touch, the taste, the fire that Logan carried with him.

"To hell with going back to the past," Logan thought to himself knowing only too well that while he and Scott hadn't been the best at discretion with one another, Logan would be damned if he allowed Jean's words to take away what was rightfully his. Logan stepped forward, kneading Scott's flesh with his thick fingers, gripping and pinching possessively at the taut muscle before him. Scott whimpered against Logan's mouth, urgent and needy when they finally parted.

"Logan, what are we doing…?" Scott gasped behind flushed features, a mixture of lust and confusion carrying over his intense blue eyes.

"You need a distraction because right now you're living in a moment of regret hating yourself for how that night played out," Logan explained, his eyes dropping down to memorize the shape of Scott's mouth, to lock in every single second of it's perfection. He reached out, dragging his thumb over Scott's bottom lip, drawing out sensation after glorious sensation before sliding his finger into Scott's warm, wet mouth silencing Scott's attempt at arguing. Smiling possessively, Logan spoke up again in a firm, commanding tone, "Now I'm going to give you the opportunity to alleviate some of that guilt."

"Logan I…" Scott mumbled, attempting to say something more when Logan pushed his finger into Scott's mouth deeper, causing Scott to momentarily fall to silence. The movement caused Scott to recoil when Logan thrust another finger into Scott's mouth, sliding it around in the hopes of distracting Scott long enough to have his say on the matter. At first Scott seemed resistant, hesitant to play along, but after a few seconds of twisting his fingers in Scott's mouth, he felt Scott relent, bringing his lips to a close around them, suctioning on them in the same ways that Logan had appreciated Scott's mouth in far more intimate acts. Logan smiled outwardly, proud of Scott's ability to take direction. Gently pumping his fingers in and out of Scott's mouth, mimicking the movements he'd used a great many times to bring Scott to distraction with other more, extensive parts of himself, Logan leaned forward to kiss the side of Scott's neck.

"You said you felt horrible for how it ended with us that night," Logan mouthed greedily, his fingers still deep inside Scott's mouth, exploring it's wet heat, "so now's your chance to make it up to me. Instead of running away, tonight you stay. You let me finish what I started with you back then. No questions asked."

Logan pulled back and Scott's blue eyes met his, a slight hesitation behind them, but Logan knew soon that hesitation would be overruled by desire. Taking the lead, Logan reached up over Scott's shoulder pulling the liquid soap off of the shelf that was just over Scott's shoulder. He used his fingers to pop open the bottle, clumsily squeezing some of it from the bottle into the palm of his hand.

"That night we made a mess of things," Logan explained bringing his soap filled hand over Scott's shoulder. He pressed down, fingers massaging over Scott's slick skin. Still with his other hand in Scott's mouth savoring the feel of Scott's tongue surrounding him, he continued to fill in the details on his fantasy, "When you lost all control, I knew it was just the beginning. I loved touching you, but I wasn't ready to stop there. I wanted to taste you, to feel you vibrate against my tongue, inside my mouth and…"

Logan pulled his fingers out of Scott's mouth, tracing Scott's lips momentarily before bringing his soap covered hand over Scott's chest. He massaged at the firm, smooth expanse of Scott's toned abdomen, carefully doting on every inch of flawless skin before him. His mouth hovered over the side of Scott's neck, tongue tasting Scott's alluring flesh. Reaching out around Scott's body again Logan knew Scott wanted to say something, undoubtedly want to put together some form of protest given the nature of their earlier conversation, but knowing it wasn't allowed in the moment Scott leaned back against the shower wall awaiting Logan's instruction.

"Tonight you're lost, but you'll find yourself again," Logan explained smoothly, temptation coiling in each one of his words, "Just like that night you're begging for reprieve, seeking out something that you've been missing for so very long."

Scott remained silent, blue eyes tapering off over Logan's body, dropping down to immerse himself in Logan all over again. Logan didn't have to ask to know that Scott had been thinking about that night, mind reeling with the consequences of the memory, but soon Logan would give Scott plenty of other food for thought.

XXXXX

Mindless temptation. Those were the only words to describe what Logan was offering to Scott in the moment. Although they'd been discussing Jean, returning to that night when Scott had betrayed her in almost every way imaginable, the last thing Scott had anticipated was Logan kissing him. Hell, it hadn't been appropriate at all, hadn't been in line with what they were discussing. Scott had felt horrible, rotten to the core in his deceitful actions, yet Logan seemed undeterred by it. Yes, he'd sworn that he'd carried the same remorse about Jean witnessing the shameless acts between them, yet when Logan's tongue had claimed Scott, kissing him as if their future depended on it, Scott knew Logan's attempt at dealing with Scott's guilt had taken him down a darker path. At first Scott had wanted to recoil, to tear himself away from Logan and bask in the weight of his guilt. He'd owed Jean so much more. He'd promised her a future and happiness, yet Scott had betrayed that trust with the same temptation that overruled Scott in the present. He'd given in to a moment, one that Jean never should've known of, yet it had happened. Scott had let her down in the worst possible way and she'd known.

"I was so wrong," Scott could hear that voice inside his mind condemning him again and again. It was pounding inside of his head, pulsating at his temple, threatening to eat him alive when Logan forced himself inside with the kiss. It yanked Scott out of his self-disgust, taking him away from Jean's words and returning him to the one inevitable sensation that would always linger between him and Logan. Lust.

Now standing in the shower waiting with baited breath for Logan's touch, longing to hear Logan say something to take him further from the past, Scott gulped down. Yes, maybe it wasn't the right time, perhaps it wasn't in his nature to ignore his misery long enough to savor bliss, but then again Logan had always been about living in the moment. He'd walked around proudly stating no regrets, yet in the reflection of the one night Scott had regretted on more levels than he'd cared to admit, Logan was offering him a reprieve. Yes, it might not take back what Jean had experienced, but tonight Jean was gone. Scott and Logan were together, back in the same situation that Scott had cut short in his retreat all that time ago.

"I'm going to touch you Scott," Logan informed him with a primitive breath, "I'm going to remind you all over again just how good things can be when it's just the two of us…"

"Logan…" Scott spoke up once more, making one, last, futile attempt at sliding out of the attempt at recreating their encounter that Logan was clearly bringing to the situation.

"Did I say you could talk?" Logan pinched at Scott's nipple causing Scott to cry out. He raised his hand up, his fingers clamping around Scott's perfectly sculpted features, squeezing at Scott's face in a rough, aggressive pull, "You'll do what I tell you Scott and right now you're going to let me touch you. Even if there's something inside of you telling you to walk away, you won't. You'll stay right here in the moment with me."

Scott bit down on his lower lip, fighting to mute his need for self-loathing when Logan's hand snaked around his body again. This time Logan's finger pushed in over Scott's perfectly curved bottom, circling and pressing into Scott in a greedy, possessive, rewarding movement. Scott whimpered arching his head back in longing.

"Back then I probably wouldn't have been so bold. I wouldn't have wanted to frighten you off after I realized how much you needed this," Logan bit down on Scott's sinewy shoulder, sliding Scott back underneath the spray of the shower to remove the traces of soap lather upon his skin. Scott's blue eyes closed, his lips parting in a small pant, his chest rising and falling in the moment with sensations spiraling out over his body. Logan smirked, feeling the pulsating water guide his actions on when he eased deeper into Scott, "I would've taken the time to lavish you with kisses, to explore every beautiful inch of you before finally taking another taste…"

Scott shuddered when Logan's touch curved upward, stretching him further. Logan's knee pushed between Scott's thighs, teeth biting at the top of Scott's shoulder, fingers sliding down his arm before Logan twisted Scott in the shower, pulling him out of the direct stream of the water. When Scott refused to protest, Logan smiled outwardly claiming victory when he dropped down to his knees before Scott. With his finger gently thrusting inside of Scott, hitting Scott's hot spot again, Logan was rewarded with the whimper that rose over Scott's body.

"Don't be shy Scott. I want to hear how much you want this-how much you've waited for me," Logan leaned forward, tongue sliding out beyond his commanding lips to tease over the tip of Scott's now partially aroused body. With the first contact with Logan's tongue Scott sprang to life, growing exponentially harder when Logan's lips surrounded him.

"Logan…oh God," Scott cried out, hips bumping forward when Logan's mouth created a rhythm over Scott, licking and suctioning over his body, offering up a taste of temptation while he continued to heighten Scott's awareness of the situation. Scott whimpered, eyes closed tighter than before while his hands sought out Logan, wanting to touch and guide his movements. "Please…don't…stop…"

"Stop?" Logan questioned releasing Scott. Scott's body recoiled, trembling with want and need, broken by Logan's retreat.

"No," Scott shook his head furiously, blue eyes reopening now overtaken with lust, "Logan, please don't…don't stop."

"Tell me what you want Scott-what you need," Logan ran the underside of his palm over Scott's thigh, savoring the soft rumble of need the spilled over Scott's lips in a moan.

"You," Scott breathed heavily, his flushed features growing a deeper shade of crimson, drowning in want.

"Me?" Logan mused with delight, "You need me?"

"Yes," Scott spat out in a low, raspy tone, his hips sliding towards Logan, hoping to continue with what they'd started. "Logan, I belong to you. Only you."

"Yes," Logan mouthed approvingly, eagerly returning his focus to exploring Scott's length again with his mouth, "yes you do."

After a few minutes of slow, steady stimulation, Scott twisted before Logan, tiny shudders of delight carrying over him when Logan inserted another finger, feeling Scott's hips roll forward in a trembling press. Logan moaned slightly knowing that Scott was all about the sights and sounds with Logan on his knees tasting and teasing Scott. Pumping his fingers into Scott's body, Logan awakened Scott's senses, putting him on overload with Logan's undivided attention, working him to a frenzy until finally, the first wave of impulse carried over Scott, causing him to shudder against Logan.

Scott reached out, fingers threading through Logan's hair, body shaking, tensing up from the dual stimulation, causing Scott to explode within the warmth of Logan's mouth, carrying with him one of the most erotic, painfully tortured sounds of release that had spilled from his lips. His fingers frantically gripped tightly into Logan's hair, whining in exquisite torture as Logan took down every last second of Scott's release, tasting the hot fire of Scott inside of him. Scott was still whimpering, panting heavily when Logan released him.

In an instant, Logan sprung up off of the floor, body consumed with sensory overload with the taste of Scott still over him, the feel of Scott's body imprinted in his mind. Scott might've been doubting himself, but there was no denying how right they were for one another-how strong Scott's everything reacted to Logan. Still in seeing Scott's beautiful features caught up in the aftermath of lust, Logan knew it wasn't enough. Not when there were still so many things left to explore between them. Pulling Scott with him underneath the water again, Logan allowed the hot liquid to pour over their bodies singeing Logan with the raw, pulsating heat. He felt Scott's arms surround him, fingers twisting into his tangled, dark hair when Logan pressed forward hoisting Scott up in his arms and bracing him up against the wall. In an instant Scott's strong thighs surrounded his waist, body arched upward in invitation when Logan replaced his fingers with his heavy, eager arousal. Still sensitive and tender from his release, Scott whimpered, head falling back into the shower wall with Logan inside of him, taking Scott again and again with an insatiable force, violent and eager, desperate and needy, possessive and drawn to the man who'd claimed him from the beginning. With each forward push, Logan marked him, claiming his territory again and again, hoping the ghosts of the past would hear Scott's impassioned cries, would know that Scott now belonged to Logan. No journal or past mistake could change that.

XXXXX


	13. Chapter 13

"Feeling any better now?" Logan questioned lazily settling into the pillows before lazily tracing circles over Scott's spine.

"A bit," Scott breathed melting in against the warmth of Logan's chest more completely, "although…"

"What?" Logan questioned with a soft rumble of satisfaction in his voice.

"It's just…I just don't know if I can stay here anymore-not now," Scott finally confessed after a long moment of silence surrounded him and Logan in their bed once they'd abandoned the shower with one another, "Jean's everywhere Logan. She's in my thoughts, my head, this place…it's too much…"

"So we'll leave," Logan shrugged and decided feeling Scott's arm loosely draped around his waist, blanketing Logan's body in a tender sweep. Now with his arm secured around Scott's shoulders, fingers playing leisurely with Scott's damp, dark hair, Logan couldn't help but sigh.

"Just like that?" Scott questioned with an uneasiness in his voice.

"Just like that," Logan agreed firmly while thinking back to the journey he was set out to go on the next morning. While he knew full well fulfilling the mission and seeking out Victor was his goal especially after the run in he had with Bert the other night, he knew that now wasn't the time. Dealing with his demons would have to wait. Now was about finding clarity and peace with Scott even if it meant abandoning the home they'd returned to at the school, "we make sure everyone will be alright on their own for a while before we go. We'll take a time out and figure everything out."

"I don't know if they will understand why we'd leave. I mean how can I explain to them that I'm just abandoning it all because I can't let go? That sounds all sorts of immature and irresponsible, doesn't it?" Scott began nervously.

"Scott, it's…" Logan opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Scott's words.

"I just don't see this ending well. It could get ugly if I admit that it's all too much for me. I'm not supposed to take the coward's way out and walk away. I was trained to be stronger than this, yet it's just so…"

"Scott," Logan couldn't help, but sigh in seeing Scott's uneasiness, yet Scott continued to talk over his attempt at a response.

"They'll all be so disappointed in me and…," Scott divulged taking in a worried breath, "What if they'll be angry that we…"

"It doesn't matter what they think Scott. I don't want this to take us under, to bury you when you're just now fighting your way back from where you were," Logan searched Scott's eyes with a heaviness in his heart.

"You think we could..? That we should…?" Scott's words tapered off falling into silence. He raised his chin up just enough to seek out council from Logan. "Could you just…?"

"I would for you Scott," Logan nodded in confession. He coaxed Scott to meet his eyes again, to focus on the moment between them, "I'd do whatever I can to make you happy, to feel peace of mind again even if it means leaving all of this behind us."

"So we just throw obligation and caution to the wind and leave," Scott half questioned, his thoughts lingering to what he'd gained in his return. "We abandon responsibility and…"

"Scott, if you're not sure," Logan couldn't help, but frown at Scott's uneasiness.

"No it's not that. It's just…we're really going to do this?" Scott questioned snuggling in closer to Logan's chest. He placed his head over the center, simply listening to the sound of Logan's heart beating beneath the surface, "We're really leaving it all."

"If it's what you want, sure, why not?" Logan asked quietly, thinking about the conversation they'd had with one another in the shower.

"I can think of plenty of reasons as to why not, but at the same time," Scott paused letting out a long sigh, "staying might not be helping anyone. Obviously things have changed."

"They have," Logan nodded in agreement.

"This place has been my life. I grew up here, spent so much of my life trying to find myself, to figure out who I am, what I was meant for," Scott sighed heavily, his words revealing themselves with heavy conflict behind them.

"You've always prided yourself on your ability to do things for the students, to be the leader they needed when times called for it," Logan added remembering Scott's passion for the school. "It's important to you."

"It always has been," Scott conceded, "I'd always felt that one day I would be the one running things-that I'd take on the legacy Xavier created and make something more of it. I'd wanted to accomplish so much, but…"

"But what?" Logan questioned running his fingers lazily over Scott's spine.

"How could I even consider doing that when everyone can see right through me? How can I stay here pretending to be something I'm not when it's because of me that chaos surrounded everyone?" Scott let out a breath he hadn't been aware that he'd been holding, "I failed them Logan. I failed every one of them in not stopping Jean. I should've known-I should've seen this coming. I should've realized…"

"No one realized," Logan reminded him with the beginnings of a scowl, "I thought we already covered the fact that…"

"Someone should've helped her fight for her sanity," Scott interrupted with an uneasiness in his tone. "Given our history that someone should've been me. I should've stepped up to the plate and protected her. Even if she and I were falling out of love with one another, I still loved her Logan. I should've given her so much more."

"You gave her everything for years," Logan added with a shake of his head, "even after you weren't able to, you still kept trying."

"I should've tried harder. I should've set my emotions aside and realized that…" Scott protested, returning to the same overwhelming sense of guilt that he carried with him. He raised his head up and looked to Logan, "as her friend I should've been there for her."

"You were there for her. Regardless of what she felt about us, you were always there for her," Logan frowned back at him, "You never stopped being there for her even after she was gone."

"She was special Logan. She was the first person who really helped me find purpose and reason when I had nothing," Scott sighed, an overwhelming sense of sadness engulfing him, "I should've helped her fight for that when her mind was in conflict."

"We've all found ourselves in positions where we could've, would've, should've said or did something differently, but if we spend our lives lost in that, we'll never be happy," Logan added closing his eyes and thinking about the endless cycle of torture Scott would inevitably put himself through before he came to terms with Jean's ending.

"I feel guilty in having found happiness again Logan. I shouldn't, but being here, well, it just makes me feel selfish for stealing that away from her. With every move I make, I feel like her eyes are on me here. I feel like she's always around the corner, waiting to scrutinize me-to confront me for what I've done…" Scott's words trailed off.

"That's the guilt talking," Logan frowned.

"Even so, maybe the guilt is a sign that you can't go back again," Scott shrugged his shoulders. "It could be telling me that a new direction is in order."

"New directions can be a good thing if you seek them out for the right reasons," Logan tossed back at Scott after a long moment of silence.

"Using my words against me now?" Scott asked with a hint of a smirk building over his features. "I told you that a long time ago…"

"And at the end of the day, where did I wind up at the end of my journey?" Logan reminded him simply.

"Back here. Back with me," Scott noted with a more relaxed tone when Logan smoothed his fingers through Scott's hair, savoring the warmth of Scott beside him, "Back where you belong."

"Now you're getting it," Logan smirked proudly, kissing the top of Scott's head gently. He settled in on the mattress keeping Scott over him in the moment.

"I just wish that something so right didn't have to have something so wrong hanging over our heads," Scott sighed heavily.

"Maybe leaving isn't the answer," Logan suggested with a small shrug, "A part of you doesn't really want to. Deep down when you were away, you longed to return. You feel like you have purpose and reason here Scott. This means the world to you. We both know that."

"And a part of me feels like I can't be here with her presence lingering," Scott opened his mouth in protest. "When I was away it was easier to forget, to pretend that everything was alright, but now…"

"Now you're getting caught up on something that we should've dealt with a long time ago," Logan interrupted with the beginnings of a scowl. "Look, don't get me wrong I'm not exactly one to take an emotional trip down memory lane-even talking like this is a leap beyond what I'd normally do, but maybe it's good we're getting it out now. The truth is out there. It happened, we can't change it and now it's time to move on."

"Just like that?" Scott questioned shifting in Logan's arms.

"Just like that," Logan agreed. Raising his head up off of the pillow, Logan could feel Scott still lost in silent contemplation, "It's what's best, right?"

"I don't know. After reading her journal and seeing how upset she was…I can't escape her after this. I keep hearing her voice in my head Logan," Scott sighed with a weariness in his tone, "It's like she's lingering, haunting me even after she's…"

"She's gone Scott, Even if we both keep thinking about her, hearing her voice, believing she's lingering, deep down we both know she can't be. She's dead Scott," Logan squeezed his lover in beside him, "She can't hurt you anymore."

"Then explain tonight," Scott challenged, with the same impossible logic that Logan had hoped to erase for a little while longer.

"Tonight neither one of us were meant for that journal," Logan couldn't help, but frown wishing like hell he'd ignored the book. "I never should've brought it in here with me."

"You…" Scott paused, realization dawning in upon him, "you brought it in here?"

"It's a long story, but when I went looking for you the door to your old room was open. The book sort of flew into my lap literally, but at the time I hadn't given it much thought. I should've simply left it there and…" Logan answered with a groan, wishing like hell he would've stayed out of that room.

"No, it's good that I saw it because at least now I know. Truth be told I feel like such a coward," Scott let out an ironic laugh, sliding his fingers over Logan's chest tentatively. "I should've told her."

"You were trying to spare her heart," Logan replied with a small shrug, "You were doing what you do in trying to shield her from the inevitable pain."

"A lot of good it did for her," Scott groaned outwardly, "I'm not a good person Logan. For years I wanted to think that I was. I wanted to believe I could live up to the expectations Xavier had of me, but I'm a horrible, rotten person who was so selfish that I couldn't do the right thing."

"You're being too hard on yourself Scott," Logan offered up with a heaviness in his voice.

"Maybe not hard enough," Scott stiffened against Logan, "Maybe this guilt is what I deserve. I feel like an awful person considering…"

"That's because you're a bit of a masochist," Logan grumbled in response, "If you weren't suffering over it, I don't think you'd be contented."

"That's not fair," Scott curled his lip in offense.

"It's the truth though," Logan noted with a shake his head, "You get so caught up in hating yourself for the things that you can't change that you would rather spend an eternity in self-loathing. It's the safe alternative to enjoying life for you Scott."

"It's not loathing. It's…" Scott protested.

"Trust me I'm an expert on self-loathing and that's exactly what it is Scott. It's your way of allowing Jean to still have a hold on you. If you give in to your guilt, then she wins. We don't stay together," Logan stated simply, his brow creasing with the words.

"Logan, that's not what I'm…" Scott opened his mouth in protest.

"Yes you are. I've seen you do this before Scott. You work yourself up to this place where you feel like everything needs to be justified. You have to rationalize each and every piece of the scenario, bringing yourself under heavy scrutiny for daring to want something more. You wind yourself up so tightly waiting for the other shoe to drop because you don't feel like you deserve the joy," Logan's hold on Scott loosened.

"That's not what I'm doing Logan," Scott's perfectly sculpted lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl. "I feel for what Jean went through. If I had been in her shoes…"

"You weren't Scott. Yes, maybe it might've been hard for her, but you did the best you could at the time. You found love. It's something you've always needed, something you have always wanted, but because you're too wrapped up in hating yourself it's what you're willing to lose if you keep going down this road," Logan shook his head somberly, "You'll close yourself off and…"

"What are you saying Logan?" Scott questioned worriedly.

"I'm saying that you can't do this again Scott. You can't deny yourself what you want because you don't feel it's fair to her. I've seen you take this path before when she 'died' the first time," Logan reminded him with an exaggerated breath, "You walked through the halls beating yourself up, acting as if nothing mattered. You were in hell feeling that denying yourself was your only alternative. I know how you think."

Scott remained silent in the moment, taking in Logan's words.

Logan shifted on the mattress beside Scott, "You'll allow your guilt to consume you. In turn, you'll push me away because of how you feel over Jean's misery. Deep down you know she's gone, but you still keep hating yourself. You'll let go of what we have and you don't have happiness. You wind up miserable," Logan added impatiently.

"That's not what I'm trying to do. I just can't shut it off. If I ignore how I hurt her, if I try to push it out of my mind, then that makes me cruel. It's cold and selfish…" Scott attempted to reason with him.

"You've never been good at self-preservation," Logan reminded him simply, "It's never been your forte."

"That's because I've always known there were others who depended on me, people who needed me to always be there-to pull them through darkness. Doing right by them supercedes what I want and need. I've known that most of my life," Scott pondered knowing of his obligations at the school. "Maybe we shouldn't leave."

"Maybe we shouldn't then," Logan decided with a huff. He couldn't help, but offer up a sarcastic tone, "Let's stay."

"You aren't helping me on this," Scott frowned impatiently, his frustrations mounting in the moment, "Usually you're telling me how wrong I am when I make a decision and now…"

"I can't tell you what's wrong when only you know what's best for you," Logan simply stated reaching out across the bed in the hopes of pulling a cigar from the nightstand. He opened up the top drawer reaching for one when he caught Scott's disapproving eyes upon him, "If you want me to say leaving or even staying is a mistake I will, but it's not up to me to decide."

"I honestly don't know Logan," Scott frowned once again when Logan placed the cigar back in the drawer and closed it, "Hell, running away is what started all of this in the first place, right? If I had only told Jean the truth back then we wouldn't be facing this and…"

"You weren't even sure of the truth," Logan finally reached out to place his hand on top of Scott's tenderly.

"It doesn't matter," Scott lazily laced their fingers together, "I let so many people down. I was supposed to lead them, to help them find their way to bring out the best in who they were. Xavier trusted me. Jean trusted me and…"

"Damn it Scott you found happiness. Is that so wrong?" Logan couldn't help, but frown, his agitation getting the best of him. "Jean knew what she got herself into in being with you. You both were kids. How in the hell could either one of you expect it to last forever?"

"She wasn't prepared for this," Scott pulled his hand away from Logan's, "She couldn't have known that I would've been such a disappointment to her."

"Jean might be dead, but she's no victim Scott," Logan pulled away from Scott, sliding across the bed with a heavy scowl, "She'd be insulted at the insinuation considering how strong she was."

"Not strong enough to see the man she loved engaged in an affair," Scott curled his lip in protest, his words cutting Logan to the core in the moment, "That's what it was Logan. An affair."

"Oh hell…" Logan released Scott and threw his hands up in the air. He slid out from beneath the blanket, pacing around the room and groaning with each stomp of a move he made across the floor, "Listen Bub, she was far from being a saint. You read her journal. Surely, you can see that she wasn't perfect. She wasn't this person to put up on a pedestal."

"Only because I drove her crazy," Scott remarked sourly, his blue eyes clouded over with anguish when he pulled himself up to a seated position on the bed.

"She wanted me Scott. Maybe I instigated it, but I could smell it on her," Logan finally groaned in the moment hating to see Scott taking the weight of the guilt upon him. "Maybe you didn't want to see it, but she liked when I flirted with her. She wanted more."

"Only because you came on so strong. Who wouldn't want you when you start flirting like you do?" Scott tossed back at him flippantly, "If you hadn't arrived, then she wouldn't have even considered the thought and…"

"You wouldn't be mine. You'd still be with her living out a life that we both know wasn't what you wanted. You'd be pretending that you were fine with a woman who didn't accept you as you are when deep down you'd always be longing for more," Logan snarled turning his attention to the journal that was on the floor beside the bed.

"Jean accepted me," Scott couldn't help, but frown at Logan's words.

"On her terms," Logan mouthed sourly unable to contain his distain for Scott's defending Jean.

"That's not true," Scott argued further.

"Wasn't it?" Logan raised a challenging brow before speaking up to address Scott once again. "Think about it Scott. Each and every time you decided to make a decision about something important, she was undermining you, telling you to hold back. She wanted you to do what she felt was appropriate, not what your instincts were guiding you to do. She might've cared about you, but she sure as hell didn't respect any of the decisions you made when push came to shove when it was important."

"You mean unlike you?" Scott tossed back at him sourly, "Because go fuck yourself is a more significant sign of respect for my authority, right?"

"I'm an ass Scott. I have a problem accepting authority in any way, shape or form regardless of who it is. You wouldn't expect anything less from me because of how I'm wired, but with Jean, you keep talking about her like she's some kind of saint-like she was the greatest thing that ever happened in your life, but guess what Scott. She wasn't. She wasn't even remotely close to being the person who understands and accepts you as you are," Logan threw his hands up in the air, unable to hold back on his frustration, "Yes, maybe I give you a hard time every now and then, but when it gets down to it I wouldn't have you any other way. I rather enjoy having you get worked up, having you standing there uptight and irritated wanting to show me my place when I'm not listening. I think it's a bit of a turn on that you are able to pull things together like you do in battle, using your brains and experience to keep us all from collapsing in the most desperate of times. Beyond that I can see your passion, your need for something more, for someone to prove to you just how incredible you truly are. You're the epitome of everything I've always wanted and needed to balance me out, but for Jean, you were just her personal whipping boy. She didn't see how remarkable you truly were, but I do. I always have. I know you and I love you as you are-for all that you are. Jean, on the other hand, never knew what she had when you were hers. She never gave you what you needed. Even now you can't argue that."

Scott opened his mouth to respond, to say something more, but found himself at a loss when Logan shook his head in resignation.

Stomping across the room Logan reached for the journal, bringing it up in the air and waving it around, "You can't use this as a tool to shut yourself down Scott. I'll leave with you if it's what you need. We can go anywhere you want, but you have to find a way to escape this. You had every right to realize that you'd outgrown your relationship with Jean. You are allowed to move on with your life."

"Logan, we both know that…" Scott couldn't help, but frown again, his thoughts consuming him.

"Jean wasn't who you thought she was," Logan threw the journal across the room, watching it collide with the wall, "She was every bit as ready to move on. Yes, maybe she didn't take that step, but the way she was attracted to me-hell, Scott that stupid thing tells us that she knew about us. She detailed how she saw us together…"

"Which is awful. She never should have…" Scott opened his mouth with a tiny shudder, thinking about Jean's pain and misery.

"No maybe not, but Scott think about it. She knew that I lied about coming home when I did. She was well aware of what happened between us the night before, yet she didn't say a thing. She pretended like it didn't happen," Logan frowned throwing his hands up in the air. "She flirted with me wildly, not giving a second thought to what we'd done."

"She was hurt Logan. I'm sure that she was trying to get me to react, to get me to remember what I'd promised her," Scott mouthed somberly, leaning back on the bed.

"No, it wasn't about you Scott. It was about her and what she wanted-what she needed. Hell, maybe she was jealous. Think about it. In knowing that we shared what we did, then why the hell did she come on to me after?" Logan tossed back at him flippantly. "When you and Xavier were held captive at Stryker's hand she approached me. We had a conversation and…"

"And what?" Scott questioned tipping his head to the side.

"She kissed me. I kissed her," Logan dropped his gaze down to the floor, unable to hold back on the truth that had been gnawing at him ever since he'd read the journal. He'd known Scott would be miserable over it, would undoubtedly use it to return to the self-hatred he'd often surrounded himself with, but Logan wouldn't allow him the luxury even if they were leaving the school. "We kissed and she liked it. Loved it actually."

"I don't…" Scott's jaw dropped with surprise, "She couldn't have…"

"She knew that I wanted you, that you and I had something sexual happening. That proves it," Logan nodded towards the book on the floor. "She went on in the entry about being upset and how it repulsed her, yet there she was kissing me Scott. She knew what we were doing, that you were what I wanted, but she didn't pull away-didn't indicate anything other than a thirst for more…for me."

"Why would even you kiss her if you wanted me?" Scott couldn't help, but ask with a wounded expression. "After what we experienced, how could you…?"

"How could you?" Logan threw back at him flippantly. "That kind of interaction means a hell of a lot more to you, then it does to someone like me. Sex is sex. It's always been sex, but for you to commit to the act means there's some kind of feeling-some kind of emotional attachment."

"Jean and I were together for a very long time Logan. I promised myself to her," Scott curled his lip in protest, "We were…"

"Regardless, you changed the rules when we shared that experience," Logan answered stubbornly, unable to mask the jealousy that swooped down upon him. Folding his arms in front of his chest, Logan eyed Scott with heavy scrutiny, "You wanted me just as much as I wanted you. Jean didn't factor into that."

"I was engaged to her," Scott offered up in protest.

"But you said it yourself that were with me," Logan continued in an impassioned tone, "You would've given yourself to me that night if she hadn't interrupted us. We would've been together."

"So then why kiss her?" Scott questioned with a wounded expression on his face, "If you knew what we had together was so important to me, then…"

"Because I knew how this situation would end Scott. I could see it written all over your face," Logan remarked sourly, "Each and every time I challenged you, you were afraid to push back. You weren't willing to step up and claim what you wanted. You hid behind what everyone thought you should be. You didn't go for what you needed. You were afraid."

"I wasn't sure of who I was Logan. I'd never felt that way for…" Scott paused struggling to come to grips with the memory that caused discontent for them, "for someone like you before. All my life it was just Jean-only Jean, so when you walked into my life…"

"You wanted to play it safe," Logan rolled his shoulders back and puffed out his chest, "Yeah, I get that. Hell, I even expected it from someone like you. I knew what I was getting into when I tried to push the envelope, but temptation was too hard to resist."

"For me too, but if you knew who I was…" Scott bit down on his lower lip nervously.

"I knew you'd try to pretend it never happened. You'd stand idle at Jean's side until the end of time because you'd be too afraid to go for what you really wanted. You'd be too reserved to ever think about taking a chance on someone like me," Logan blurted out with an uneasiness in his tone. "And why would you?"

"Logan, I…" Scott opened his mouth to say something, anything that would refute what Logan was saying, but he found himself at a loss.

"I knew it was a lost cause Scott, so I said to hell with it. I kissed Jean, even made a play for her, trying to convince her I'd be the better man," Logan divulged guiltily, "to see if she would be like you, to test the waters in seeing if she was worth what you were willing to sacrifice."

"So you were trying to sabotage what we had between us?" Scott blinked back with confusion in his tone.

"No jackass. I figured you wouldn't ever think about giving me the time of day again after you ran away. You were far too repressed to give into it, so I compromised," Logan snarled, his stomp intensifying when he moved around the room.

"You kissed Jean," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "That was your compromise to the idea of never having me?"

"You're damn right it was because if I could taste you on her, if I could have what you'd denied me through her lips, then it would be enough Scott," Logan relented taking a small step forward, "I thought if I could experience your kiss through hers…"

"You kissed her because you wanted to kiss me?" Scott wrinkled his nose at the thought, "You don't honestly expect me to believe that, do you?"

"I got you off not long before kissing her, yet the idea of my wanting to taste you through her seems like a foreign concept?" Logan blinked back at him incredulously, "Helping you lose control in my arms wasn't sign enough that I was more interested in you?"

"Logan, that's not what I'm…" Scott couldn't help, but frown, "I'm just saying that…"

"It's the truth," Logan's voice rose with frustration, "Hell, if you don't believe me, take a look for yourself."

"What?" Scott's eyes widened with surprise.

"I want you inside of me," Logan blurted out dropping down onto the bed beside Scott, "I need you inside of me Scott."

"Logan, I don't think now is really the time to…" Scott shifted uncomfortably on the bed when Logan reached for his hands.

"In my head Scott," Logan placed Scott's hands up over the sides of his face, "Look inside and see the truth. Take a walk around and tell me what you see."

XXXXX


	14. Chapter 14

"Logan I…" Scott began drawing in a nervous breath when something started to happen. He met Logan's eyes in a worried exchange, knowing full well the weight of Logan's request in asking Scott to read his mind. It was something that Scott knew Logan was vehemently against, something that Logan hadn't been happy with when Scott had tried to read him during his nightmares in the past. Still with Logan's pleading eyes upon him, Scott felt a new nervousness build up in the pit of his abdomen. His fingers trembled and he pulled back with a heavy breath of a whisper, "Logan, I know you don't want me in there. You've told me many times that…"

"Come inside me Scott," Logan met his eyes with an urgent command, "I'm giving you permission to look into me to pull the truth out."

"I can't," Scott attempted to pull away from him.

"Yes you can," Logan ordered desperately, "Take advantage of this Scott. I won't always be offering you free run of my subconscious. See the truth for yourself."

"I believe you Logan," Scott relented with a heavy breath feeling his fingers tingling with sensation pressed against Logan's temples. "You don't have to…"

"See for yourself," Logan repeated once more, his eyes firm and commanding in the moment.

"I can't always control what memories I see Logan. You know that. It's still so new that sometimes it's overwhelming when I try to focus in on one thing. If you allow me to…" Scott opened his mouth in protest thinking about the discussion he and Logan had in the past with one another.

"I'm willing to risk it," Logan placed his hands over Scott's squeezing at Scott's fingers gently, "Look at me. Really look at me Scott…"

Scott nodded, taking in a long, uneasy breath. His blue eyes beckoned Logan's finding them taken from their bedroom together to another place long ago where it was dark and frightening. Scott's eyes surveyed the room, taking in the scene before him when a woman stood across the room working on her cooking. She bent down, her hair framing her face when she sighed.

"She's my mother," Logan's voice roused Scott from the moment, bringing Logan into the memory beside Scott. He could feel Logan's hand skimming over his, fingers interlaced with Scott's as a smile carried over his lips, "I cared a great deal for her when she was in my life."

"She was beautiful," Scott noted watching the woman before him humming a tune to herself, clearly unaware of their intrusion in the past.

"I couldn't remember her face before tonight," Logan confessed taking a small step towards the image that played out before him. He raised his hand as if he was going to reach out to her, but he stopped himself instead returning to the shadows once again beside Scott. With his mother's back turned to him, Logan felt a lump of emotion build in his throat, "I couldn't remember so many things about her for all those years-not until you were taken. It wasn't until you were gone that something triggered inside of me. When you touched me the other night, showed me what you saw from our past, it began to filter in. There were always broken pieces, but I'd lost this. I'd lost her."

"I hate that they stole this from you," Scott mouthed quietly watching the scene unfold before him, "You should've been able to have this…"

"This is pain and suffering," Logan's eyes traveled up to the staircase just beyond where they stood. "This is where it all began."

"What began?" Scott questioned feeling an uneasiness surround them.

"The madness that's surrounded my life-where the beast inside of me emerged," Logan squeezed Scott's hand again, feeling the moment shattered by screams and shouting. Scott turned around, trying to follow the sound, but he was prevented from doing so when Logan's thick fingers wrapped over his shoulder. "Not tonight. We're not going to stay with this…"

"Alright," Scott agreed feeling the memory shift to another time and place.

"So here we are," Logan stepped aside revealing the next stop on their journey to the truth inside of Logan's mind.

"Where are we now?" Scott questioned turning around to face Logan only to feel a jump in the scenery.

"I think you know," Logan concluded stepping aside to give Scott a better look at the bigger picture. At first he wasn't certain where they were, couldn't quite place what was happening, but soon they were outside the school, looking up at the building with one another. Scott heard a rumbling sound, the hum of an engine alerting him to Logan's arrival. He'd driven up to the front of the grounds, killing the engine before walking the bike up the path to the school. The scenery shuffled, moving forward to the Danger Room, back to when Scott had retreated after his and Logan's scuffle with one another. Scott could see Logan on the floor, feeling his frustrations mounting when Logan groaned outwardly.

_"I don't want Jean. I want you Scott!"_

Scott's eyes widened watching Logan pull himself up off of the floor, determined to end the games between them once and for all. Scott looked around the Danger Room, knowing what was ahead, but instead of turning away, he found himself following the memory of Logan inside, watching Logan watching him. He could see the desire that had overtaken Logan in the moment, feel it consuming him with his eyes unable to turn away from Scott before he'd made his presence known. There was a deep, penetrating scent of lust in the air, a need consuming Scott when the scene played out again, ending with Logan joining him in the shower.

"You were so beautiful standing there Summers. I knew I couldn't turn away from you," Logan confessed, the warmth of his voice carrying over the moment with an air of sentimentality. "I'd never seen anything that I'd wanted more with you well within my reach."

"Yet even then I was still so far away," Scott sighed knowing only too well how the night had ended for the both of them.

"This was only a small part of the bigger picture. Then again since you're one for beginnings, how about we go there together?" Logan suggested abandoning the memory in favor of one stemming from the day when Logan had awakened at the school. Scott had just arrived when Logan was in the midst of his confusion only this time Scott was experiencing the moment as an outsider looking in. He watched as Logan exchanged words with Charles, his anger and agitation evident when Logan turned to face Scott fully.

"We can't stay outside of this," Logan nudged Scott in closer, pushing Scott further into the memory. Suddenly Scott blinked overwhelmed in the moment when he found himself buried inside of Logan's memory, immersed completely in feeling the weight of adamantium running through his body. When he looked down Scott saw himself in Logan's hands, feeling them rise up in a violent pull, seizing the mirror image of Scott by the collar. Their eyes met from behind the glasses, rage springing to life inside of Logan, yet as Scott felt Logan on sensory overload demanding answers, Scott experienced the moments as if they were his own. He could feel the distrust, the doubt, the fear that something horrible was around the corner, yet above he was met by the most familiar, primitive of instincts pouring out through Logan's every synapse.

"Lust," Scott breathed feeling a heat coil over him into the center of his abdomen. His eyes dilated, mouth growing dry, pulse quickening when he felt himself continuing to view the moment through Logan's eyes, taking in the crisp, clean scent of soap and Scott's cologne. It was intoxicating, overwhelming his senses in a way that felt foreign to Scott. It was a basic, raw instinct that hit Scott in a way that he had never experienced before. In seeing himself through Logan's eyes, feeling the way Logan reacted to Scott's initial introduction with interest, Scott could sense there was something happening. Later that interest piqued before Scott had exited the office when Logan's eyes had shifted ever so slightly over Scott's body. Realizing no one was paying attention, Logan's gaze started centering in over Scott's abdomen, tapering off further to the center of Scott's neatly pressed slacks, and Scott couldn't help, but blush when Logan's thoughts poured into his mind.

"Logan," Scott gasped, unable to ignore the throbbing sensation that carried over his body, centering in over his most primitive of parts, thinking less like a civilized man and more like an animal overtaken by a need to mate-to mark his territory without sense or reason.

"I wanted you then," Logan murmured reaching out to pull Scott outside of the memory, watching it continue without Scott's complete immersion. "Crazy as it was, I wasn't sure if I wanted to hit you or…"

"Claim me," Scott caught the way his own eyes had sized up Logan in the moment.

"You saved my life Scott. Even though I wasn't gracious in thanking you, it meant something to me. The fact that you stepped in and took control, pulling me out of the fire, well it made me realize that you were…" Logan's words tapered off engaged in the moment playing out before them.

"What?" Scott questioned, a breath catching in his throat.

"A very surprising alpha," Logan let out an ironic laugh, "Not many men could handle someone like me, yet there you were…"

"Saving you," Scott mouthed watching the scene unfold before him. Curiosity guided an involuntary perusal before the two men had started to butt heads with one another. Yes, it had been a tense first encounter, yet when Scott felt his mind filling up with other, erotic images, mental glimpses of the fantasies Logan had conjured up from their first encounter, his face grew even hotter.

"If we would've been alone Slim, this is how it might've played out," Logan stepped aside allowing the room's occupants to filter out before Logan reached for Scott, pulling him in against his chest possessively. No longer were they the past tense, less acquainted versions of themselves, but instead they were in a warped version of the present caught up in lust, in the burning desire to act on impulse.

"Even though I knew the strength you were capable of, I also saw that you were too prissy for your own good-afraid to truly give in to it. You hid behind manners and timid protests, but I've always known how strong you truly are Scott. I've always seen what you've been capable of even when you doubted yourself. I just needed you to see it too," Logan charged forward, rushing Scott down onto Xavier's desk without hesitation. His claws came out, hands ripping furiously at Scott's shirt and causing him to cry out with surprise. Scott's body slammed down on top of the papers and books, before Logan's mouth assaulted his lips brutally intense and eager to take them back to Logan's initial instincts.

"Logan," Scott gasped, panting heavily when the weight of Logan's body carried over him, grinding him down into the desk further. It wasn't real, couldn't be real given that Scott was aware that they were still in the bedroom with one another, seated on the bed immersed in this trip down memory lane turned fantasy. Still in knowing it wasn't real, in feeling the key elements of the seduction weren't in place, Scott reached out beyond Logan's head seeing things floating in the air above them. "I thought we were going to see what…"

"This feels good," Logan's teeth bit into Scott's shoulder, penetrating the skin with their sharp, primal force. Scott threw his head back over the side of the desk, unable to hold back on the pained cry that erupted from inside of his throat. His eyes opened wider, body buzzing with the weight of Logan's thoughts surrounding him. The lust was intoxicating, a drug that only served to heighten Scott's arousal. Logan's lips carried over Scott's chest, biting at his nipple in a sadistic nip, causing Scott to whimper loudly. The pain was soon replaced by pleasure when Logan's tongue licked a rough line over the sensitive skin, drawing out sensation after roaring sensation through Scott. The intensity of both Scott and Logan's lust was overwhelming, causing Scott's skin to flush, body wound up tightly as he ground up beneath Logan, lost in the notion of sin.

"Ever consider testing the mind's limitations on fantasy before Summers?" Logan wiggled his brow suggestively. His body was buzzing with delight, his hand pushing in between Scott's thighs, spreading them apart further on the desk top in a possessive grasp.

"I'm supposed to be the one invading your thoughts, not having you use them against me," Scott breathed heavily fighting to stay in control of the moment. He could hear the sound of his breathing growing heavy outside of Logan's mind, feel his fingers shaking against Logan's skin, hot and bothered in reality, but the stronger the sensation was, the more the fantasy in Logan's mind carried Scott past the brink of control giving way to an intensity that Scott had never known before.

"You penetrate me. I penetrate you," Logan rolled his shoulders back with amused laughter. Savoring his new role of power in the situation, he reached for Scott's arms, pinning them high above his head on the desktop, "What difference does it make?"

"Plenty considering that we both know it's not real. Sex is…" Scott felt Logan pull back snapping his fingers and removing their clothing with the movement. In reality it was an impossibility, but in the fantasy state, tiptoeing around Logan's innermost thoughts and memories, Scott knew that nothing would be off limits.

Logan pushed down on top of him, caging him tighter on top of Xavier's desk, "…a state of mind as well as body after all, is it not? Sex is all about the sensation, the build, the pulsating throb inside of you, hitting all the right marks on the way to your brain, to the deepest part of your mind, controlling your body's impulses and…"

"You really have been reading too much Freud lately," Scott couldn't help, but laugh lightly.

"Freud had a dirty mind just like mine," Logan ground in over Scott, reminding Scott all over again about the solid heat of Logan's impressive length. Clearly recalling the first time Scott and Logan had made love, Scott could remember his uneasiness, his curiosity and fascination brewing inside of him, causing him to tremble with want and fear in knowing what power Logan truly possessed when aroused. Now in the fantasy world, Logan's body was every bit as impressive, hard and ready to plummet into Scott over and over again.

"I never should've allowed you to linger in my library back in Ohio," Scott mouthed readily arching up to meet Logan's mouth in a hot, erratic kiss, unable to hold back on the temptation a moment longer.

"I'd rather linger in your…" Logan reached down, seizing Scott's thigh in a possessive grip. The cool metal of Logan's claws were still out, skimming against Scott's skin in a tentative brush, barely touching the surface when Scott shuddered divided by fear and temptation. He watched Logan's hand push up into the air, claws retracting before he dug his fingers deep into Scott's thigh again. With lightning quick reflexes, Logan forced Scott's leg around him, wrenching him up off of the desk, hips twisted in an impossible position, body stretched out before him when a growl carried over him.

"Right now this is merely a distraction," Scott pushed his palms into Logan's shoulders, digging into the muscled flesh, knowing only too well Logan would resist, yet outside of the world of physical impossibilities, Scott had more strength. He used the coil of his leg around Logan's waist to render Logan motionless, keeping him caged between Scott's thighs. Taking in a breath, Scott leapt upward slamming Logan down onto the opposite side of the desk, watching Logan splinter the heavy oak with his weight. In an instant Scott was over him, hands running over Logan's chest wildly, frantic and needy despite his earlier protests.

Angrily Logan's fingers dug into Scott's thighs, pulling a real reaction out of Scott when he could hear the sound of his voice protesting beyond the fantasy. He could hear the rhythmic pulsating of his heart beating wildly, taste the anticipation flooding over him when he felt Logan's fingers brush over his, removing Scott's hand from his head and placing it in Logan's lap. For an instant Scott found himself alternating between reality in their bedroom and the fantasy in the office, each one of them tearing the other to pieces.

"What are we….?" Scott couldn't help, but ask, his fingers shaky and uncertain when Logan centered them in over his naked, aroused form. In an instant, Scott felt himself overtaken by sensation, wanting to savor the contours of Logan's flesh, to imprint it into his mind completely, but when the fantasy started to consume his thoughts taking him further into Logan's subconscious, he knew that blending the two sensations would be damn near impossible. Still with Logan's thickness in his hand, fingers sliding over Logan's incredible length, Scott allowed himself to return to the fantasy, to immerse himself in Logan's perception of an alternative to reality.

Returning to his position over Logan on the desktop, Scott felt Logan's arms surround him, hands roughly squeezing at Scott's bottom, grinding it over Logan's length recklessly. Logan's violent pull guided Scott towards completion, attempting to gain access to Scott's body, but Scott refused looking to the room that surrounded them.

"Not like this," Scott shook his head, "think outside of the box-to something a bit more…"

"Fitting," Logan finished with a small smirk, cocking his head to the side long enough to reveal the mischief behind his eyes, "If you insist."

In an instant they were in the garage with Scott pinned down beneath Logan on the hood of his car. Scott could hear the bending grind of metal beneath him, sense the cool metal pushing into his back, increasing the ache inside of him. Logan's mouth plummeted over his, tongue tasting and teasing relentlessly. The sensation built between them, spreading out over every inch of their skin until…

"I was thinking a bit more traditional," Scott panted hearing the hood begin to crumble beneath him with Logan's weight over him.

"You're no fun," Logan mouthed biting down on Scott's lower lip hard. A hot, white light surrounded them before Scott realized that they were back in their bedroom together, perched on the edge of the bed, still touching one another. Scott's fingers tapered up into Logan's dark, unruly hair, loving the thick, coarse texture of the man before him. His other palm was curved over Logan's body, fisting Logan's hot flesh wanting nothing more then to take a taste of the man he'd craved like nothing else. Reaching up, Scott squeezed Logan's shoulder, coaxing him to fall back onto the blankets.

"Better?" Logan questioned bringing his hands up over the back of his head. He stretched out on the blankets, silently offering himself to Scott completely.

"Much," Scott murmured dipping down to place a tender kiss over Logan's hair dusted muscle, palms fanning out over Logan's chest, unable to take him in fast enough when Scott shifted his position over Logan. His blue eyes saw the desire in Logan, took in the scent of sex in the air when Scott's fingers eased over Logan's thighs. Sliding upward and out over their powerful contours, Scott felt Logan flex and contract beneath him, springing upward ever so slightly when Scott pressed a kiss over Logan's muscle corded abdomen.

"I knew this was more your style," Logan let out a small laugh feeling Scott's lips surround him, stirring up sensation after incredible sensation when Scott settled in between Logan's thighs.

Scott coaxed Logan to bring his leg up over the blanket, twisting just enough for Scott to press his fingertips over the back of his thigh, touching and teasing Logan's eager flesh while Scott's tongue explored Logan's length. Soft moans of approval carried over Logan, causing him to shift again on the blankets, stretching out further when Scott leaned forward, opening his throat to accept Logan's body into his deliciously wicked mouth. Scott's tongue lashed out at Logan creating a reckless, wild rhythm, surrounding Logan with a sense of pride in knowing just how much Scott had learned in their time together. Sliding his hands down into Scott's thick, dark hair, he twisted it tightly, guiding Scott's mouth over his body, knowing only too well that the Scott Summers he'd first met would've been appalled by the idea of such a precarious act, but now Scott stepped up to the challenge readily tasting and teasing Logan, alternating the movements of his tongue and touch, teasing Logan relentlessly until finally Logan felt himself ready to lose control, prepared to go over the edge completely.

"Scott," Logan breathed unable to hold back on the hard, pulsating release that carried over him. He yanked at Scott's hair, burying his fingers deeper into Scott's thick, dark tresses before releasing him with a groan. His arms fell to the bed beside him, hands kneading the blankets when his head tipped back. His lips parted, groan spilling out from his lips, loud and untamed when his claws buried into the mattress, overtaken with an unrestrained moment that spun out of control. He closed his eyes feeling Scott take in every last impulse readily, wanting nothing more then to savor Logan completely.

"My turn," Scott slurred massing his fingertips over Logan's thigh tenderly, in an attempt to soothe the wildfire burning inside of Logan. His breath carried over Logan's skin, offering up tiny, butterfly kisses upon Logan's flesh before releasing Logan and repositioning himself over Logan on the bed. Scott squeezed at Logan's thigh, drawing it up in an uncharacteristically quick movement over his lean form, curling the weight around his spine when the bridge between fantasy and reality became evident all over again. Logan felt the press of Scott's fingers sliding up over his thigh, teasing over his hip before Scott pulled Logan up further twisting and turning him on the blankets.

"Summers…" Logan half protested wanting to immerse himself completely in pleasure.

"Focus," Scott slurred scratching his fingers over Logan's chest in a possessive movement before repositioning himself over Logan. Their eyes met in a moment of understanding before Logan could feel the weight of his body outside of the fantasy press down onto the blankets in their bedroom. There was a soft brush, a tentative sweep, caressing his thigh before Logan raised his head up to see Scott lost in concentration.

"Just go with it," Scott suggested bending down to kiss Logan heatedly.

In a flash, Logan's arms surrounded Scott, pulling him in closer, readily accepting Scott's body when Scott raised Logan's leg higher, coaxing it to squeeze at Scott's smooth, muscled contours. The forward push sent Scott inside of Logan, rocking forward to draw out another set of sensations between them. Pushing and grinding, hard and eager, giving and taking, allowing Logan to immerse himself in the idea of Scott inside of him, taking control of their lovemaking until the first moments of bliss began to carry over them. Scott's blue eyes centered in on Logan's driving them further towards the edge until finally another dizzying round of sensation swarmed in Logan's brain, causing him to cry out, to curl back into the pillows immersed in the feel of Scott claiming him, turning him out from within.

"I love you," Scott whispered bending down to kiss Logan's mouth, hands roaming wildly over Logan, creating an unspeakable culmination of desire and release from within, spiraling out from all around them until finally they both gave into it, bodies spent with exhaustion when Scott pulled back severing the connection between them. The warmth inside of Logan began to cool, sending a soft chill through his body carrying over his damp skin when his breath escaped his lips.

"That was…," Logan managed to get out, his eyelashes fluttering open to meet Scott's blue eyes that were now glazed over with the aftermath of lust.

"Wow," Scott gasped releasing Logan completely as the image faded giving way to the bedroom where he and Logan sat on the edge of the bed with one another. The sensation still carried in the air between them, both of them breathless and surprised when the moment shifted, returning to where they'd been all along, never moving from their position on the bed. Yes, Scott's hand was in Logan's lap at one point in time. He could distinctly remember feeling Logan's touch, but now as they sat on the bed facing one another, hands, mouths, and bodies apart, it was clear that everything they'd exchanged had been in their thoughts.

"Not what I was expecting," Logan admitted breathlessly reaching out to take Scott's hand in his, "but for what it's worth…not bad for someone who has no clue how to control it."

"It wasn't even…" Scott attempted to process what they'd just exchanged with one another. "We weren't even…"

"That was one hell of a fantasy Summers," Logan decided reaching out for the cigar that he'd abandoned before everything began. Pulling it out from the top drawer of the nightstand, he brought it up to his lips with a satisfied smirk. Leaning back into the pillows, he let out an amused laugh, "Impressive if I do say to myself."

"I can't believe that I…that we…that it felt so…" Scott settled in beside Logan, "wow…"

"Told you I had a dirty mind," Logan chuckled biting down on the cigar. He stretched his arm out across the bed seeking out something to light it with.

"You weren't kidding," Scott sighed leaning over Logan and reaching for the lighter in the nightstand. He offered it up to Logan, helping light the cigar before reaching for it. He put it between his lips and took a small puff. A cough rose up in the back of his throat before he handed it back to Logan, "wow…"

"Fantasy doesn't necessarily trump reality, but it was interesting," Logan purred, feeling at complete ease in the moment. "For someone who has never explored those powers before the last few weeks…"

"I didn't know I had it in me," Scott confessed breathlessly, feeling the weight of the fantasy as if it had carried over the both of them, as if it had been real. He closed his eyes snuggling in against Logan's chest. "I've been questioning it, wondering if I should explore it considering that…"

"I'd say it was pretty good," Logan shrugged his shoulders simply, "I'm not one for having someone in my head, but I wouldn't be opposed to exploring that maybe once or twice more."

"You feel good Logan," Scott mouthed heavily, his head resting on Logan's shoulder, "although it does beg the question of what's happening to me. Given that I never should've been able to do just that…"

"Kind of makes you think staying here wouldn't be such a bad idea," Logan noted returning to their earlier conversation. "Given that you are still wondering about the changes you've been experiencing…"

"You think I should stay and work with Xavier to see what brought them on," Scott half questioned, raising his head up to look over at Logan once again.

"Whatever you decide you know I'll support you Scott," Logan shrugged, settling in against the pillows more completely, "as long as that doesn't include pushing me away."

"Logan, that's not at all what I want. You of all people should know that I need you," Scott spoke up in an impassioned tone. He rolled over onto Logan's stomach, feeling the faint tease of dark, wiry hair and thick, hardened muscle beneath him. Reaching up to touch the side of Logan's face, he attempted to coax Logan into meeting his eyes again. "I love you."

"Enough to let go of Jean's memory long enough to share in this life with me?" Logan challenged raising his head up enough to meet Scott's blue eyes.

"I asked you to marry me," Scott reminded him with a wounded retort, "I don't think I'm the one who has had reservations about our future. You, on the other hand…"

"Wait a second," Logan scowled feeling a low rumble of agitation build up in his throat, "you didn't ask me to marry you. You not so subtly suggested it was a good progression for us. I told you that I had some reservations considering that…"

"That it's not you," Scott remembered somberly, "yeah I get that Logan, but at the same time when you sit here accusing me of being the one to push us apart…"

"Seriously Scott?" Logan blinked back at him, "So if it's not Jean's memory pulling us apart, then it's going to be marriage? Real nice. You just can't take a moment and enjoy it without worrying about the next source of tension, can you?"

"I'm just saying…" Scott curled his lip in protest, "You want to say that I'm the one creating a problem, yet…"

"First of all I didn't say you were creating a problem. I was merely…" Logan curled his lip in protest.

"You implied it," Scott scoffed stubbornly, "With your comment, it was just a segue to…"

"Is that really what you want? Will it be what you need to let go of the guilt you're harboring?" Logan searched Scott's blue eyes for a long moment. "Will that stupid piece of paper alleviate your guilt where Jean is concerned?"

Scott opened his mouth, lips parting to respond, but instead he stayed silent.

"I didn't think so," Logan quipped with an uncharacteristic laugh, "but you know what? To hell with it. If you want to get married, committed or whatever you want to call this craziness…let's do it."

"What?" Scott's jaw dropped in astonishment.

"Fuck it. It's not like we aren't already getting out of the honeymoon phase when it comes to fighting," Logan decided with a shrug of his shoulders. "I have my reservations about this. I'm not going to lie about it because every time I let someone in they wind up dead. It's something that I can't escape Scott."

"Logan I…" Scott attempted to say something more.

"My wife died Scott. I loved her and I lost her. She died and there was nothing I could do to save her," Logan blurted out unable to hold back on the memory he'd fought to repress. It was one of the few things that he'd still carried with him, held inside of him long after Stryker had stolen his life. It was something from a part of his life before he'd come to the school, before he'd been out wandering the world on his own hoping to find another purpose in his life. "Losing her was hell. It was something I never wanted to revisit again. I never wanted to talk about it…"

"Then why are you telling me now?" Scott questioned softening his tone.

"Because you're a pushy son of a bitch who doesn't give up on anything when he gets it into his mind," Logan growled in response, his golden eyes flickering with agitation and fear. Keeping his arm around Scott, he attempted to be firm in his tone, but Scott could sense something else was happening beneath the surface with Logan's eyes upon him. "You want what you want and you don't let up."

"You always told me to fight for what mattered," Scott tossed back at him flippantly. "You said it was what irritated you the most about me when I didn't, when I kept closing myself down. When I walked away from what I wanted it caused problems…"

"You thrive on problems Summers, but the truth is," Logan paused softening his tone, offering up an air of sentimentality that felt foreign in his voice. He reached out bringing his fingers up into Scott's wavy, unruly hair. The movement caused Scott to lean in closer to him, lips hovering above Logan's mouth in a chaste, lingering movement, "I need your kind of problems in my life Summers. There are times when I don't know if I want to strangle you or screw you senseless until you stop being so damned impossible. You keep pushing, keep over thinking to the point that I feel like I'm the one going crazy, yet…"

"What?" Scott questioned, his eyelashes fluttering once his gaze settled in over Logan's mouth.

"The idea of losing you terrifies me," Logan divulged shakily, his words broken by the emotion he'd allowed himself to reveal. Reaching out to trace Scott's cheekbones with his thumb and index finger, he sighed, "What's worse is the idea of losing you to the ghosts of the past. If you really can't move beyond the idea that you gave in to another lover when you were with Jean, then maybe knowing that you did that with the love of your life will soften the blow. If we have that stupid paper, then maybe you won't beat yourself up over it so hard because that's proof it's not wrong."

"You'd do this just to alleviate the guilt I'm feeling over hurting Jean?" Scott's blue eyes widened with surprise.

"No, I'd do this because as much as it pains me to say this, the very thought of losing you to anyone else isn't one that sits well with me. I'm worried that Victor could return at any time and take this away from us, but if I'm trying to coax you into letting go, then maybe it's time I do the same," Logan took in a breath before lacing their fingers together, "Marry me Scott."

XXXXX


	15. Chapter 15

"Aren't you going to say something?" Logan questioned with an uneasiness in his voice. He cleared his throat and took in another breath before raising a heavy, scrutinizing brow at Scott in the long moment of silence, "Well?"

"Logan I…I never thought I'd live to see the day that you didn't argue with me at every twist and turn especially over something like this. After what you said earlier, I figured any time it came up you'd fight me tooth and nail…," Scott paused, his thoughts getting the best of him upon Logan's proposal. Looking to their fingers linked together, Scott felt a rush of sensation carry over him.

"I'm not arguing now, am I?" Logan couldn't help, but tease, feeling an uncharacteristic smirk carrying over the corners of his lips.

"No, I suppose you aren't," Scott softened his tone, searching Logan's eyes when a genuine smile began overtaking his handsome features.

"So what's it going to be?" Logan raised a crooked brow. "Are we going to keep talking about this or are you just going to say yes and start picking out flowery, ridiculous wedding decorations?"

"Logan that's not even funny," Scott glared down at him. "This isn't a joke. If we're going to even consider doing this, then it's something that needs to be taken seriously. It can't be a punch line thrown in to jab at me when…"

"I'm kidding about the decorations Scott, but not about this," Logan paused contemplating his words, "well not entirely. I mean with decorations, not us. I know it's something you'll want to pull together when it gets down to it. Plus I hope you know that I'm not wearing any kind of dress or suit for that matter."

"You look good in a suit," Scott dipped down to kiss him eagerly, "You've worn one for me once before back in Ohio when you sought me out…"

"That's because I was out of my mind," Logan shuddered at the memory, "I hated every single second of it."

"But you'll do it again for me," Scott coaxed enthusiastically, his hands roaming over Logan's body in an eager press.

"I'll still hate every single second of it," Logan snarled, wrapping an arm around Scott's waist and flipping him onto the mattress beneath him. "I hope you realize that."

"I do," Scott nodded, nose nuzzling the side of Logan's neck. His arms draped around Logan's shoulders, drawing him in nearer, longing to have a closer connection between them, "and I promise you lots of cigars and beer to get through the experience."

"We may have to hit the hard stuff for that even though we know it won't make an impact on me," Logan decided reaching out to trace his palm over the smooth, muscled lines of Scott's thigh. In a breath, he pulled Scott's leg around him, settling himself in between Scott's thighs. Leaning back he could see the genuine happiness inside of Scott, the welcoming warmth of victory overtaking Scott's senses. In the past that kind of smugness would serve to enrage Logan, yet in seeing the joy that surrounded Scott it felt appropriate. Touching the side of Scott's face, Logan let out a long sigh of resignation, "and for the record I don't want this to be a big event. This isn't going to be one of those fairy tale dream weddings. I realize you're into that thing, but I'm just not. It's not at all what I'm looking for and…"

"I'm alright with that," Scott nodded after a moment of contemplation, "We can just go somewhere small-to see a judge and…"

"I can't believe I'm agreeing to this," Logan groaned outwardly, feeling a nervous laugh build in the back of his throat, "This is insane."

"I thought you were one for living on the edge," Scott rose up off of the bed, claiming Logan's mouth in a desperate kiss.

"The edge of sanity," Logan's words rumbled against Scott's mouth. "That's where I like to play it on the front line, but with you first suggesting our doing this and my actually really considering it to be a good option, well it makes us both certifiable."

"Change your mind already?" Scott questioned biting down on Logan's lower lip and dragging it with his teeth.

Logan let out a pained whisper of a breath. He felt the sting of Scott's teeth over him, inside of him, biting down just enough to penetrate his flesh before releasing him. Now with Scott looking up at him with wide, blue eyes, even more enthused then before, Logan knew full well reservations be damned. He wasn't about to disappoint Summers again after spinning his life into turmoil more often then he'd cared to admit. Dipping down to kiss Scott hungrily, he surrounded Scott, hovering over him, wanting to immerse himself completely in the man beneath him.

"You'd better hope you can find somewhere to get this done because we're going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do in the morning," Logan decided tugging at Scott's thigh possessively. He pulled it up higher over his waist, allowing the stretch to give him easier access to the warmth of Scott's body beneath him.

"Logan, are you saying that…?" Scott's eyes widened with surprise.

"If you want to do this, then let's do this," Logan nodded with a decisive tone.

"Let's do this?" Scott eyed Logan suspiciously, trying to gauge himself for Logan's reactions.

"You'd better hope you can work miracles fast because I might change my mind in the morning," Logan slurred suggestively, his fingers squeezing at Scott's leg, pulling him up against Logan's solid form, sliding them into an embrace with a commanding movement.

"Are you saying that tonight…?" Scott gulped down with surprise.

"Hopefully you can phone in a few favors because we're not going to have a lot of time before dawn once I'm finished having my way with you," Logan promised kissing Scott ravenously now that he'd completely stepped out of his comfort zone to give in to Scott's crazy request. While he wasn't certain it was exactly what he'd intended on for them, it was something that he was willing to enter into even if it meant biting his tongue long enough to make Scott happy.

XXXXX

Logan walked through the hallway, dreading the inevitable conversation he was about to have with Charles, yet in knowing how important it was for Scott to gain insight and clarity, Logan was going to have to step back. Yes, it wasn't what he'd planned, but even with Victor out there still lurking in the shadows, there was another demon haunting Scott and Logan in the form of Jean's memory. It had surrounded them, pulling them from their newfound happiness to a place where neither one of them could find peace in their attempt at starting over. Yes, maybe running away on impulse wasn't the answer, but neither was seeing Scott bury himself in self-loathing again over a past that he couldn't change.

Now standing outside of the door, Logan took in a breath knowing that Charles wouldn't be happy at all. The mission was already about to be well on it's way with sunrise around the corner, but it was one that Logan couldn't go on-not now. Not when there were more important things to attend to. It would have to wait.

"You can do this," he mouthed to himself wondering if Charles would be in his office. If Logan could simply say what he needed to say and be gone, then everything would be fine. Then again, he'd found himself hoping that Charles wouldn't be around. Looking to the envelope in his hand, he contemplated slipping it underneath the door. The thought was tempting-too tempting to ignore, yet in knowing that it could potentially put a crimp in the plans Scott was making, Logan reconsidered.

Turning in a new direction, Logan opted to take a different approach in delivering the news to Charles. Yes, Charles was going to be upset that Logan had backed out on the mission especially after Charles had worked to make it happen for him. Still, in knowing what this side trip would mean to Scott, Logan opted to push his own concerns over Victor's actions aside long enough to focus on the big picture. As impossible as it seemed, it would help ease the tensions around the school brought on by Logan's decision to bring Jean's journal back into the room with him. Now thinking about what was ahead, Logan focused on the door before him. He took in a breath hoping to avoid a lot of questions when he knocked on it.

"Logan?" Marie's tired voice questioned a few minutes later when she opened up the door to discover him standing in the hallway before her. "Something wrong?"

"No," he whispered in a muted tone, looking around the hallway before speaking to her once again, "I didn't mean to wake you up, but I have a favor to ask of you."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" she yawned bringing a hand up through her long hair. "If it's not an emergency…"

"I need you to do me a favor," Logan repeated reaching out to hand her an envelope, "I'm going to need you to give that to the Professor in the morning. I had something I was going to do for him before sunrise, but something else has come up."

"Came up how?" she frowned back at him. Her tired eyes opened with sudden suspicion. "Logan, are you leaving again?"

"For a little while, but it won't be long," Logan replied in a muted tone. His weary eyes scanned the hallway before he spoke up again, "Scott and I have to take care of something, so…"

"You're both leaving?" Marie stood up taller. She walked out into the hallway bringing her bedroom door to a close behind her. Suspiciously, she eyed him again, "Why?"

"We have something that we need to take care of today. It can't wait, so…" Logan cleared his throat. Shuffling on his feet he held the note out towards her once again, "Can you just deliver this for me?"

"Not unless you tell me what's going on," she shook her head in refusal. "What's happening?"

"Nothing," Logan offered up cryptically. "We'll be back in a couple of days and…"

"Where are you going?" she wiggled her brow suggestively, "A romantic vacation?"

"It's not like that," Logan paused contemplating his words. He pushed the envelope in her hand and turned around to leave, "Just deliver that for me will you?"

"Why so secretive?" she asked approaching him from behind. She continued to follow him with eager eyes, "Logan, you're holding out on me and I want to know why."

"You ask too many questions for your own good," Logan groaned outwardly.

"Only because I know if I keep asking long enough I'll get a straight answer," she tossed back at him with a newfound curiosity, "So why not just tell me what's going on?"

"Because some things are none of your business," Logan finally turned around to face her again.

"Maybe not, but that doesn't mean you can't tell me anyway," she shrugged her shoulders and smiled up at him.

"I'm not going to tell you where I'm going," Logan folded his arms in front of his chest. He nodded to the envelope in her hand, "Just deliver that and I'll see you in a couple of days."

"Something's wrong with Scott, isn't it?" her eyes flashed with worried concern. "I knew the other day when he was being treated that something wasn't right. Hank was acting strangely and…"

"He's fine," Logan interrupted with a scowl. "We're both fine."

"So why leave?" she leaned in closer to him, an eagerness in her tone. "Why now when the semester just started? Scott was ready to get back into teaching and…"

"We have something we're going to take care of," Logan paused biting back on the truth. "It'll be a couple of days."

"You really aren't going to tell me, are you?" she curled her lip in a pout.

"Not a chance," he winked at her, "but don't worry kiddo. You'll see soon enough."

"Famous last words," she called out after him when he started to leave. "Is there anything you want me to say when I deliver this in the morning?"

"It speaks for itself," Logan shook his head, offering up a quick wave before walking off into the darkness.

"What are you up to?" Marie mouthed turning her attention to the envelope again. She contemplated opening it for a minute, but ultimately gave up on guessing for the time being even if her curiosity had ultimately gotten the best of her.

XXXXX

"You ready for this?" Scott questioned stepping into the tiny room at the city offices to discover Logan standing in front of a mirror with a snarl on his face. He was grudgingly pulling at his black tie, clearly having none of it in the moment when Scott stepped forward to assist him. "Let me take a look at that."

"It's ridiculous," Logan threw his hands up in the air with a huff. Turning around to face Scott fully, Logan couldn't help, but groan outwardly at his appearance, "I hate these things."

"These things happen to cost a small fortune especially when they are a last minute special order like this one was," Scott reached out to adjust Logan's tie in a smooth, fluid fashion. He smiled up at Logan causing Logan's agitations to mount in the moment. Yes Scott was special to him, but in these moments with Scott's blue eyes were full of amusement, Logan couldn't help, but want to strangle him at least for a few seconds. Scott continued to smile at Logan when he smoothed one hand over the front of Logan's chest, "and I like it. You look pretty hot in this."

"You're going to owe me for this," Logan snarled, unable to get comfortable in the monkey suit Scott had picked out for their impromptu break away from the school.

"I'm sure we can work something out," Scott suggested finishing with Logan's tie. His arms stretched out across Logan's shoulders, wrapping Logan up in a tight embrace. Leaning in closer to Logan, Scott couldn't help, but whisper in his ear, "I'll make it up to you with a lifetime of happiness."

"That's rather vague. I was hoping for a more specific, immediate response from you," Logan reluctantly sliding his arm around Scott's lean waist wondering why in the world he'd allowed Scott to talk him into running away to do this on such short notice. Yes, at the time it seemed like the perfect way to stifle Jean's hold on them, but now thinking about what that kind of commitment would mean, Logan felt uneasy.

"Having second thoughts?" Scott pulled back searching Logan's eyes again knowingly.

"About this," Logan nodded, biting back on the snarl in his throat, "yes. About you, no."

"Want to forget about it?" Scott questioned nervously. Logan could sense Scott's worries mounting when he pulled away from Logan. Although he didn't say it, Logan could see full well that Scott was hoping that Logan would simply say that wasn't the case. Still with the idea of what this kind of commitment would mean for the both of them, Logan bit back on his words contemplating a careful response before speaking up again.

"I'm not even going to answer that," Logan couldn't help, but find himself distracted by taking in Scott's appearance. Although they had a limited time frame to work with, Scott had managed to clean up nicely. He'd found himself a white tuxedo with blue accents in the tie, which while it wouldn't normally be Logan's tastes, it seemed fitting for Scott in the moment. It was a nice change from the repressed turtlenecks Logan despised. It wasn't as comfortable as the jeans Logan had grown to appreciate, but in seeing Scott standing before him looking ready for what was ahead of them, Logan had to admit that the style was very flattering. It highlighted all the finer points of Scott's body, giving him a refined, suave style, but beyond the clothing was something more that really struck with Logan. He looked happy, peaceful and delicious with a crooked grin on his handsome features.

"You aren't listening to a word I'm saying right now, are you?" Scott questioned breaking through Logan's thoughts. Logan shook his head knowing that Scott's lips were moving, but he was still surrounded by the image of Scott standing before him ready to explore the next phase of their relationship with one another.

"Not really," Logan simply shrugged his shoulders, "Let's just do this."

"Fair enough," Scott agreed reaching for Logan's hand now that they were meeting at the courthouse after hours.

"Tell me again how you pulled this off," Logan couldn't help, but question, curiosity overtaking him in the moment. "When I said you needed to phone in a few favors to make this happen, I had no idea that you could actually pull it off so fast considering that…"

"I have friends in high places," Scott divulged cryptically, opening his mouth to say something more when there was a knock on the door.

"He's ready for you," a petite woman with thick, rounded glasses explained popping her head into the room. "Whenever you're ready."

"Thank you," Scott smiled back at her politely. When she exited he turned to Logan again, "Ready for this?"

"Do I have a choice?" Logan grumbled under his breath, his apprehension growing in the moment in knowing what he was about to do. While he had to admit he'd taken a great many liberties with Scott, offering himself up to things that weren't in his comfort zone time and time again, this one was a chart topper. Yes, it wasn't so much that Logan was digging his heels about this because it wasn't what he wanted, but rather it was something that served as a reminder of his internal fear. Knowing what kind of risk this step would bring with it, Logan was hesitant, fearful for what could be lurking around the corner, yet with Scott's expectant eyes upon him, he found himself tempted to throw caution to the wind as they had in the past with one another.

"Logan," Scott spoke his name disapprovingly, "if this isn't what you want to do…"

"I just don't want to over think it," Logan divulged feeling the squeezing press of Scott's fingers over his. He returned the touch attempting to focus on all the things they'd shared with one another. This was just one of many steps for them, things that would ultimately bring them closer to one another without question as long as Logan could truly go through with it.

"Okay," Scott agreed as the two men left the room and walked down a long hallway to the judge's chambers.

While Logan knew that this was what Scott had been eagerly anticipating since the notion filled his head, Logan found himself surrounded by thoughts of his last marriage, of all those people he'd let into his life that he'd lost. It had been like the kiss of death when destruction had ripped the dreams of happily ever after out of his life time and time again. Opening himself to love was inevitable disaster, a sure way to invite madness into Logan's life. Love meant loss and with loss emerged a darker, more jaded version of Logan. Vulnerability had always lead to greater risk, yet in feeling Scott's hand in his leading them closer to their inevitable fate, Logan wondered if this time could be different. Given all he and Scott had faced through the years, it only made sense for them to make things official, to be with one another in every sense of the word, yet…

"Here we are," Scott stopped outside of the door. Logan felt Scott pull his hand away before Scott's blue eyes beckoned him once again, "Last chance to back out."

"I didn't realize that was an option," Logan half joked, clearing his throat uneasily. He attempted to banish his thoughts, to remove the nagging voice in the back of his head that promised the inevitable misery before him. Yes, in having Scott he'd found peace and serenity, but in losing Scott-should it ever happen Logan wouldn't be able to recover from that. He wouldn't be able to return to that peace if and when it was stolen from him. His beast would emerge, dragging him under into madness and rage.

"If you really don't want to do this Logan, we don't have to," Scott finally decided releasing a small breath, "If you want to forget about it and leave…"

Logan remained silent, allowing Scott's words to linger before he finally spoke up with a resonating sigh, "No, that's not what I want. Let's do this."

"Thank you," Scott released a relieved breath. He stepped forward bringing his hand up over the side of Logan's face, touching the thick, dark hair that grazed over his jaw line, "and Logan?"

"Yeah?" Logan questioned lazily, his golden eyes meeting Scott's again in a moment of curiosity.

"I love you," Scott eased forward, sliding in to press a chaste kiss upon Logan's lips. "Don't ever forget that."

"Believe me Slim," Logan curled his thick, muscular arm around Scott's waist possessively, "you're an impossibility to forget. Everything about you has made an impact on me for better or worse…"

"Let's hope after today everything gets better," Scott suggested moving in for another kiss when the door opened and a tall, thick, white haired man looked between the both of them.

"I thought I heard someone out here," he noted behind thin, wire rimmed glasses before the man scratched at his beard covered chin. Logan noted that his wrinkled face grew even rounded with the smile he issued Scott.

"Logan, this is Jeff Smith. Jeff, this is Logan. He's my…" Scott greeted the man before him with a small smile.

"Part of his better half," Logan extended his hand out to the man before him in an attempt to be polite.

"Is that right?" Jeff eyed Logan with a moment of amused scrutiny before letting out a small laugh of his own.

"He exaggerates every now and then," Scott joked poking Logan in the ribs before leaning in closer to him, "Of course this time he's partially telling the truth. He likes to joke a bit, but when it gets down to it he really is part of the better half of my life."

"In that case," Jeff offered his welcoming hand to Logan, "it's a pleasure to meet you Logan."

"Likewise," Logan extended his hand as well accepting the handshake.

"You look good Jeff," Scott added brightly making light conversation between them, "I see you've been hitting the gym. Did you try out that place that I recommended for you?"

"The place is a dream. Kelly can't stop raving about it," Jeff nodded turning his attention to Scott with a welcoming smirk, "It was a wonderful suggestion. I still owe you for that."

"It was nothing," Scott waved his hand dismissively, "What are friends for?"

"You're one up on most of my friends because I actually enjoy seeing you," Jeff teased with a hint of laughter in his tone before looking between the two men once again, "Seriously though Summers, it's great to see you again. How have you been?"

"Doing great," Scott reached out to offer a hearty handshake to the man before him, "How about you aside from frequenting the gym of course?"

"I was in much better shape when you were with the firm as my accountant," the judge explained with the beginnings of a scowl. "That new intern they have working over there has made a mess of things and my new assign doesn't know his head from his…"

"They gave you Larry, did they?" Scott shook his head with heavy disapproval, "I should've known that they'd reassign everyone to him after I left. He's not at all equipped to keep up with the accounts even if he's a nice guy. His priorities are all in the wrong place and…"

"Making an intern do his work for him is not the same as having someone I can trust take the time to personally work through any problems I'm having," the man groaned with a disapproving look, "There isn't anyone else like you out there Summers."

"Thank you," Scott mouthed quietly, his modesty shining through in his words, "I appreciate that."

"He's one of the best," the judge boasted turning his attention to Logan again, "You're lucky to have him around. He's a real lifesaver."

"Tell me about it," Logan smiled over at Scott, seeing the warmth that carried over Scott's features in the exchange. Although Logan had never met the man before them, he knew it represented a part of the life Scott had lived when the rest of the world had believed Scott had died. It wasn't that long ago, but in thinking about all the changes that had taken place for Scott since Jean had taken his powers from him, Logan couldn't help, but realize just how far he and Scott had come with one another. Only a few months ago Logan was lost in misery believing Scott was dead, but now they were together again stronger than ever with Scott pushing to let the world know they were truly together. That in itself was something that still surprised Logan given their beginnings.

"I knew when I met him that he was going to be hard to replace," Jeff continued to boast with a nod towards Scott. "They should've given you more to keep you there Scott because when it came to accounting you were a whiz."

"Thank you," Scott nodded again, "I appreciate that."

"It's the truth," Jeff eyed him with a genuine warmth in his voice, "So what have you been keeping up with since you left?"

"I'm teaching," Scott explained with a small smile, "It was my passion long before accounting. It's always where my heart has been and I realized I wanted to go back to it."

"Good for you. Teaching is a very rewarding profession. Though you know if you ever change your mind I wouldn't mind having you back again," Jeff added with a hint of eagerness in his voice, "I'm sure you could get another job in the field making twice the money you did at that firm that wasn't smart enough to keep you there with them."

"Again I appreciate the flattery," Scott cleared his throat and laughed, "but really I was just doing my job. Anyone else would have…"

"No they wouldn't. My wife is still excited about our last tax returns," Jeff explaining curling his finger for Scott and Logan to join him in his office. "You really are one of the best."

"Thank you I appreciate it," Scott nodded sheepishly, "and if you ever have any questions, well I can see what I can do to help."

"I may just take you up on that," the man walked over to his desk pulling up a paper that was upon it, "However, right now it looks like you've got something bigger in mind over talking tax returns with me, now don't you?"

"We were kind of hoping we could get through this as soon as possible," Scott cleared his throat, his blue eyes finding their way to Logan again. "I know it's sort of last minute, but…"

"Most of the time when someone is in this much of a rush, we're dealing with a pregnancy, deportation or a pending adoption, but I guess that's not the case with you both," Jeff half joked taking a look over at Logan, "Son, are you alright?"

"Yeah," Logan nodded uncertain if that was really the truth, "I'm fine. Just eager to get this over with."

"It looks like everything is in order. Scott faxed over the paperwork and the birth records," Jeff shuffled through the pages before him.

Logan raised a curious brow, turning his attention to Scott in the moment. Scott threw out a look that promised an explanation later before he stepped forward to address Jeff once again.

"So then there shouldn't be a problem, right?" Scott spoke up nervously. "We can just do this and…"

"Sure," Jeff set the papers down on his desk, "We'll just have to get your witnesses in here and then we can begin."

"Witnesses," Scott's blue eyes widened with concern.

"Sure," Jeff nodded again, "I assume they're outside waiting for us to begin."

"Actually we didn't…" Scott exchanged worried looks with Logan.

"Sorry we're running late," a voice blurted out as Logan turned around to discover Marie standing in the doorway with Bobby at her side. She had a bright smile on her face and an air of mischief in her features when she winked over at Logan, "Traffic was a bit crazy on the way down here."

"Marie," Logan tipped his head to the side giving her a look.

"I told you we'd be here," Marie nudged Bobby into the room with her. He shuffled his feet and stepped in behind her, moving quietly into the corner of the room. He remained uncharacteristically silent while she smiled over at the judge. "Sorry for not getting here on time."

"Excuse us," Scott held his finger up in the air. He smiled over at Jeff before walking over to join Marie and Bobby, "How did you…?"

"I realized that you were both up to something," Marie explained in a muted tone, catching the disapproval behind Logan's eyes when he joined her, Scott and Bobby. "I know Logan wanted me to leave the letter for the Professor, but, well something seemed off so I…"

"You what?" Logan couldn't help, but frown at Marie's intrusion after he'd specifically told her not to worry about what was going on.

"I figured I'd follow my instincts with this lead," Marie nodded over towards Bobby. "He was completely against it, but I didn't give him a choice. We followed you out to the garage and took one of Scott's cars and…"

"You took my car?" Scott's eyes widened with surprise.

"That's right we…" Marie stopped mid-sentence, now suddenly aware of the blue depths before her. "Scott, your eyes. They are…"

"It's a long story kiddo," Logan reached for Marie's arm, gently pulling her aside with heavy disapproval. "I left you that letter to deliver to the Professor so that…"

"He'll get it," Marie curled her lip in protest, "I left it on his desk before we took off. He won't miss it."

"Even so," Logan spoke up in a muted tone, "You shouldn't be here. Now isn't the time to…"

"Something's wrong with him, isn't it?" Marie glanced over her shoulder to see Scott exchanging nervous looks with Bobby. "His eyes…"

"It's a long story," Logan interrupted with a snarl, "one that I shouldn't have to be explaining to you right now if you would've just done as I asked."

"If I had, then you both wouldn't have a witness right now," she reminded him with a stubborn determination. She stood up taller, puffing her chest out and meeting his eyes in a challenge. "Then you wouldn't be able to get married. You are getting married, right?"

"Look I…" Logan's scowl intensified, his uneasiness overtaking him more in the moment.

"I knew it," Marie blurted out excitedly snapping her gloved fingers together, "I just had this feeling that…"

"That nothing," Logan warned sharply. He wrinkled his brow at her before lowering his voice further, "You shouldn't be here."

"That doesn't change the fact that I am," she stood up taller, puffing her chest out defiantly. "Now that I am, there's no point in lecturing me on leaving. You need me right now."

"I'm not happy about this," Logan grumbled in response, realizing that he and Scott weren't going to be able to keep their decision between the two of them much longer. With Marie and Bobby knowing it was just a matter of time before everyone saw what they had done and…

"You should be," Marie reached out, bringing a gloved hand over the front of Logan's tuxedo, "because this should be the happiest day of your life. You look hot by the way."

"Right now I feel like…" Logan stopped himself, unable to resist reaching up and tugging at his collar uneasily.

"Hey," Scott moved forward placing a hand on Logan's shoulder, "you alright?"

"I'd be lying if I said this was alright," Logan admitted tipping his head to the side to see the worry flash behind Scott's eyes. Drawing in a defeated breath, Logan spoke up again, "but since we need witnesses, I suppose we should run with it."

"You sure?" Scott questioned apprehensively.

"Yeah," Logan finally resigned himself to the moment, "Let's do this."

XXXXX

"So much for the element of surprise," Logan sighed wrapping his arms around Scott's waist once that they stood outside of their hotel room door with one another. He squeezed lightly, savoring the feel of Scott in his arms now that the worst of his tension had passed, giving way to another series of thoughts that carried over him. "Here I thought we'd simply slip out for a while and return back to the school undetected…"

"People were bound to realize we were gone," Scott mouthed with a hint of laughter in his voice. "Certainly they would've seen sooner or later…"

"I don't mind the later part, but I didn't anticipate it becoming the big gossip story on campus right away," Logan squeezed his arms around Scott tighter then before, "not that I'm complaining, but…"

"You should've known better then to go to Marie," Scott replied leaning back into Logan's chest.

"I didn't think she was planning on following us. I just thought that she would listen and deliver the note," Logan grumbled more so to himself.

"She's always full of curiosity and…" Scott's words tapered off when Logan's arms squeezed tighter around his waist.

"I needed someone to let Chuck know we wouldn't be around for a bit. He was looking into the Victor thing for me, but obviously right now it's going to have to be on hold," Logan explained breathlessly. With the feel of Scott readily in his arms, Logan's lips centered in over Scott's neck, hands sliding up over Scott's chest in a savory sweep. Logan heard the breath that spilled out from Scott's lips when it was clear Scott found himself at a loss, fumbling to get the key card out of his pants pocket.

"You never did tell me how that meeting went," Scott sighed pausing long enough to touch Logan's fingers in a brief skim.

"It's not important. We can talk about it later," Logan mouthed. His teeth grazed Scott's ear, biting down in a possessive nip. His palms flattened out over the front of Scott's tuxedo shirt, squeezing at the warm, muscled contours underneath, "considering we've got other things to focus on…"

"Like right now," Scott's head fell back against Logan's shoulder, eyes closing in a moment of sensation, "I guess the cat is out of the bag with our acting on impulse. I know you had your reservations about all of this considering I had to drag you down here, but..."

"Oh I don't know. Granted I might have had my reservations, but so far I have to admit it's not so bad," Logan purred pushing a finger in beneath a button of Scott's shirt, "The way I look at it we've been official for about forty five minutes and so far so good."

"Official. It sounds all very technical when you put it that way like a mission that we're about to go on and not the rest of our lives," Scott repeated with a warm smirk overtaking his handsome features. He reached for Logan's hand, covering it with his own and thinking about the new significance of the rings on their fingers, "Officially together."

"That's right," Logan kissed the side of Scott's neck once again, "which means I'm well within my rights to kick someone's ass now if they try flirting or attempt to look at you the wrong way."

"Possessive already," Scott reopened his eyes, turning around to face Logan fully. Feeling Scott wrap his arms around Logan's strong, powerful shoulders, Logan couldn't help, but wonder if Scott's face was hurting from all the smiling that he was doing, "I don't know how to take that."

"The same way you take everything else from me," Logan stepped forward pushing Scott in against the hotel room door. His breath skimmed over the side of Scott's neck causing tiny ripples of electricity to bounce between them. Dipping down further, Logan sought out Scott's mouth, opening it with an eager kiss, "With enthusiasm and minimal protest."

"I don't know if I would go that far considering we're both strong willed in our views. I am, after all, a team leader, which means you'll be taking orders from me and…" Scott couldn't help, but tease lightly.

"In the bedroom we'll keep it on equal footing," Logan suggested dipping down closer to Scott, "especially considering I rather enjoy you following orders behind closed doors."

"Big shocker there," Scott couldn't help, but tease with a roll of his eyes, "Don't think it negates my ability to lead because…"

"I rather enjoy your ability to follow direction," Logan offered up with a crooked smirk.

"I'd like to see more of yours come to the surface every now and then especially at the school," Scott replied with a hint of seriousness in his voice, "Maybe now when you don't like an order I give you around others you won't tell me to go fuck myself."

"Nah," Logan shrugged his shoulders, "I'll still tell you that when the mood hits, but instead of us being all in arms up over it, we'll deal with it later that night."

"Great," Scott couldn't help, but groan with a shake of his head, "So I don't get any reprieve in any of this when it comes to following orders."

"I might love you, but I'm not going to change who I am completely. I've always had trouble with authority," Logan leaned down to nuzzle his nose against the side of Scott's neck, "You knew that when you decided to pursue something with me."

"I did and I still do considering that…," Scott's words came to an abrupt halt when Logan's hand slipped into his pants pocket, withdrawing the keycard that Scott had been searching for.

"Don't spoil it just yet," Logan murmured biting down on Scott's lower lip, "We've got a wedding night to get to."

"Technically it's more like morning right now considering that it's after…" Scott muttered from behind Logan's hold on him.

"Open the damn door," Logan snarled kissing Scott roughly in a moment of impatience.

"Since you're so eager to get inside," Scott leaned back against the door, relinquishing all control to Logan with a smile, "lead the way."

"How about you do it?" Logan held the keycard up, depositing it into Scott's hand before stepping back.

"I thought you were all about listening and easing up on dishing out orders right now instead of ignoring mine," Scott couldn't help, but tease him.

"I am," Logan pushed the card deeper into Scott's palm, "Open the door…please."

"Alright," Scott agreed turning around to face the door. He pushed the keycard into the slot, feeling the involuntary slide of Logan's thick, muscular form pressed up against his spine. A soft sigh erupted from the back of Scott's throat, his pulse quickening when Logan took a step forward guiding Scott into the room with an eager press. "Logan…"

"What do you think?" Logan slurred as Scott's eyes fell upon the scenery before him.

Although Scott and Logan simply deposited their stuff in the room in a quick rush before heading to the courthouse, it seemed as though the hotel room had taken on a transformation as well. Scott's blue eyes widened, unable to mask the surprise that carried over him in discovering the various candles lit around the room. There were rose petals on the floor creating a path to the oversized bed at the far end of the room. Over by the bed there was an ice bucket filled with champagne and beer, much like the one Scott had set up for Logan at a time when it seemed that they were to be separated. Flashing back to that night, Scott suddenly found himself immersed in a strange recreation of the past, back in a memory where the night had taken a much different direction then the one Scott had intended upon.

"I know you're all about that whole Cinderella fantasy, which you didn't get at the ceremony," Logan's fingers dipped in underneath Scott's tuxedo jacket, sliding the white material from his shoulders effortlessly, "so I figured the least I could do was make it up to you for that time I was a dick about you exploring this fantasy."

"Logan, you hated this fantasy," Scott gulped down hard. Finding the strength to turn around and face the man he loved, Scott eyed him suspiciously. "You were adamant about how this wasn't us. You didn't enjoy it at all when I tried to…"

"It wasn't us then," Logan shrugged his shoulders and sighed in resignation, "but a lot has changed."

"You didn't have to do this," Scott offered up, reaching out to place a hand over the center of Logan's chest tenderly, "I wasn't asking you to compromise yourself to make me happy. I realize that what we did today was a big step outside of your comfort zone, but I wasn't expecting you to abandon who you are completely. I know this isn't your style at all and…"

"Look, I laid out a heavy guilt trip to have Marie put this together for us," Logan pulled Scott in closer to him, his words firm and commanding when his hands dropped down over Scott's bottom to offer up a possessive squeeze, "I figured I may as well put her to good use since she stole your car and ended up being a witness to all of this. She owed me one…"

"Logan, I…I don't know what to say…" Scott found himself at a loss in their surroundings.

"Tell me it makes you happy-that it's something that you still want-that you're still sure about it now that you have it," Logan's eyes searched Scott's for a long, contemplative moment.

"I've never been more sure of anything like I am of this," Scott reached up to tangle his fingers through Logan's thick, wild, dark hair, "I love you Logan and even though I know you hate this, I love that you did this for me too."

"Good answer," Logan moved forward, guiding Scott across the room with an eager kiss. Tearing at the buttons on Scott's shirt, Logan groaned outwardly, "That's what I was hoping to hear."

"I'll say it forever if it makes you happy," Scott promised in between kisses. Ripping at Logan's suit jacket, Scott attempted to discard the material before tumbling back onto the bed eagerly.

"Forever sounds good enough for me," Logan agreed sliding in over Scott now that it seemed they'd found themselves ready to embrace the future, turning a new leaf without fear of what was still to come. Now settling into one another's arms it seemed as if things were finally as they should be without question.

XXXXX

Charles sat in his office reading over the letter he'd discovered on his desk a short while earlier. While he'd intended on today being the day to start fresh with Scott in working to break the news to him about what Charles had been hiding from him without distractions, it seemed that fate had other plans. Knowing that Logan's desire to seek out and destroy Victor was motivation enough to allow Charles some much needed alone time with Scott. With Logan distracted it seemed things were falling into place in terms of what Charles had intended. With Logan away, Charles had planned on working through the troubles in Scott's mind, to soothe some of his internal struggles in helping him return to the place where the truth would reveal itself to him. He'd planned on taking a natural progression to the truth, hoping it would soothe some of Scott's rage and return him to the rigid control he'd carried through the years. Once Scott had returned to a more controlled state, calm and ready to listen, Charles would break the news to him and see where things would fall between them. Now thinking about the lengths at which both Scott and Logan seemed to be defying him at every twist and turn, Charles couldn't help, but find himself worried about the possible outcomes for the future.

"I knew this wouldn't end well my friend," Erik's voice roused Charles from his thoughts. Charles looked up to discover his long time friend standing before him with a somber expression on his face, "None of this was going to turn in your favor as long as they were both so stubborn and determined."

"We were stubborn and determined once my friend," Charles remarked with an exaggerated breath. He knew he could ask Erik how he'd managed to get into his office, but that wasn't of any real relevance in the moment.

"Some of us more than others," Erik smirked proudly, amusement carrying over his features, "Still this doesn't erase the situation that's been created, now has it? I assume you still haven't told your protégée the truth."

"As you said before it wasn't advisable especially now," Charles confessed facing Erik fully, "The threat hasn't been identified. To put Scott or his son into harm's way without considering all the potential dangers that are lingering would've been foolish. Knowing what we do about the situation, it has to be approached in a very tentative fashion."

"Tentative is a polite word for stalling my friend," Erik noted with a small breath, "Something I don't necessarily disagree with, but at the same time I can sense your growing concerns about having them out there."

"You share those concerns," Charles paused meeting Erik's eyes once again, "Although we may have been wrong in thinking it was the others when…"

"Phoenix is still lingering," Erik finished with a knowing nod, "She's strong and determined. Her hold on the boy could prove disastrous should you not approach this the right way…"

"All the more reason why I wish this hadn't happened," Charles turned his attention to the letter in his hand. "If only I had been able to spend time alone with Scott, to slowly break him into this, then perhaps…"

"She has a powerful grip on him my friend. It's part of what made him so fascinating to those homo sapiens who fought to exploit us. Knowing what she's capable of they feared her," Erik blurted out with a frown.

"Can you blame them? Given what lengths she went to…" Charles frowned with an air of distain in his tone, "What you went to?"

"I did what was needed to save us," Erik spoke up defensively, "and I would do it again without hesitation because deep down you now they are pushing for our extinction. Your methods may be idealistic, but they are flawed Charles. After all this time you certainly must see that. We can't pretend to be a part of their civilization when…"

"We can't destroy them," Charles snapped back at him with a scowl, "To enter into that kind of madness makes us no better then they are."

"It's about survival my friend," Erik stepped forward, his blue eyes seeking out Charles in the moment, "One that you should take into consideration because they've pitted us against one another. They are bringing us to war all over again and in doing so they will turn this around in such a way that our own kind will be turned in the madness starting with your inconsolable ward."

"Scott's fighting this," Charles frowned thinking about what he'd learned of the changes in Scott. "He's regained focus and control…"

"And rage," Erik noted with a raised brow, "She's given him cynicism and anger, two key elements that would prove useful in this war."

"We aren't going to war. It won't happen," Charles snapped back unwilling to listen to Erik's words.

"War is inevitable in a world of prejudice and lack of understanding. You've seen that. You've witnessed what they can do when properly motivated," Erik paused drawing in a breath, "Perhaps you should allow me to handle this situation with the boy."

"No," Charles shook his head firmly, "it's my call. I will take care of this."

"And when she returns for him? What then? Her reach is deepening more each day, tightening her grip on him," Erik added with a somber expression, "and none of us can deny that will pose a problem for you. Should she reach him first, then he will feel betrayed. He will retaliate within her rage and what he experienced at the facility."

Charles nodded, "I'm well aware that's a possibility, but I can prevent it. I'm sure of it."

"So what's your next move my friend?" Erik questioned with a hint of curiosity in his tone.

"This needs thought and consideration. If I tell Scott everything and completely unmask the truth, I fear for what it will do to his mental stability. He's already full of such rage and feelings of betrayal as you pointed out. He needs clarity and focus again before we can enter down that path with one another. In knowing why I tried to protect him…" Charles shuddered at the thought, "I just need time."

"The one luxury you may not be able to afford," Erik's voice only further served to expand the concerns weighing on Xavier's mind. While deception was never a tool he'd welcomed readily, in deceiving Scott, Charles had hoped to protect him, to shelter him from the truth until he was ready to face it, but now with the growing threat of outside forces lingering, Charles couldn't help, but wonder if perhaps he'd made a mistake in taking such drastic measures. Looking to the brief note from Logan again, Charles pondered if he'd ever truly get the opportunity to finally be up front with Scott before it was too late.

XXXXX


	16. Chapter 16

"Yes, yes that's it….Logan," Scott's words fell from his lips in an involuntary spill of pleasure, pouring out over Logan's senses now that they were wrapped up in one another, lost in the throes of passion with one another.

"Scott," Logan mouthed falling back onto the blankets, feeling Scott over him, surrounding him, reaching down to his core with damp kisses over his chest, sliding down over his abdomen in a seductive trail. Logan squeezed at the blankets, immersing himself completely in the moment knowing only too well that their impulsive decision had only heightened Scott's enthusiasm, taking it to new levels in the honeymoon suite at the hotel. Now with Scott between Logan's thighs, offering up the promise of pleasure, Logan realized life didn't get any better. He groaned, adjusting to the feel of Scott, knowing no other lover could satisfy him the way Scott had. Scott was deep in his system, underneath his skin in more ways then he would ever truly admit to. He was his heart, his home, his fantasy brought to life with each eager kiss Scott made over Logan's skin.

"I love you," Scott breathed, causing tiny trembles to vibrate over Logan's skin, causing him to flex and contract, to give in to the moment with the man he loved.

Reaching out, Logan attempted to guide Scott on further, but the hot, wet press of Scott's mouth went away, leaving Logan feeling abandoned and empty, taking him out of the fantasy and surrounding him with darkness. Suddenly he was back in Stryker's lab ready to submit himself to the worst torture imaginable. He could recall his stoic behavior, his attempt at being brave, but then he was in the tank, feeling the needles driving into him, attempting to tear him apart from within. He could remember the agony, feel the overwhelming pain, the anger in knowing they'd planned to steal his humanity away from him, to pull him from any semblance of normalcy until there was nothing left. In an instant he fought to pull himself out of the tank, to rip himself away from becoming Stryker's puppet from there on out. He could feel his claws slashing violently, ripping through the air in the hopes of escape. It was so vivid, so powerful that when Logan turned around, he slashed through the machinery beside him, wanting to tear it apart in his escape.

"No!" Logan roared springing up off of the bed, claws unsheathed and ready for a fight when he realized he was back in the hotel room again. Stryker and his men were gone, tucked away into his subconscious, unable to hurt him again. While it was something he'd fought to keep under control, he couldn't help, but allow the memory to invade him, to take control of the experience he'd been sharing with Scott.

"Scott," Logan spoke his name, frantic eyes searching the room only to discover Scott wasn't on the bed any longer. He'd been there before the madness of the memory consumed Logan's subconscious, yet now Scott was nowhere in sight. It was as if the nightmare had stolen Scott from the moment as well leaving Logan alone with his fears.

"Over here," Scott's voice guided him to the floor, to the place where Scott had landed when Logan had shoved him off of the bed. Logan's eyes widened seeing three distinct slashes over Scott's abdomen, revealing the blood beneath the surface. Horror washed over Logan, taking him from his panic, to regret as Scott stood up and approached him with a wounded expression on his face.

"Scott," Logan spoke his name in a panic watching the blood spill out of Scott's body.

"Logan, how could you do this?" Scott questioned bringing a hand over his abdomen, feeling the blood pour out when he dropped down onto the bed. "You promised me something more-a life of happiness that I couldn't find with Jean. You swore you'd protected me-that I was safe with you, so why would you…?"

"Scott, I didn't mean to. I wasn't trying to…" Logan attempted to apologize, to pull together something that would make up for his inability to maintain control with his memories surrounding him. It was painful, horrible to witness and when Scott fell face forward into the blankets Logan felt fear return to him.

"I told you that you'd never be able to have happiness with him," Jean's voice taunted him, reaching deep into the dark recesses of his mind and creating an agonizing, throbbing ache. "You should've walked away Logan. You should've left him be, but now you've condemned him-delivered him straight to hell."

"No, God no," Logan shouted, ignoring the voice and reaching for Scott, surrounding him with his arms, hoping like hell he hadn't brought about the end to the lover he'd waited a lifetime to find. Now, however with Scott's blood on his hands, seeping into his skin Logan let out a loud wail of agony, doing his best to keep Scott from leaving him again-from walking out of his life forever.

XXXXX

"Logan!" Scott shouted reaching out to shake Logan on the bed beside him. It seemed it was no use when Logan continued to tremble at his side overtaken by his dreams. Logan's body was tight with tension, face gripped with torment, twisted and pained when Logan began to thrash around on the bed, giving Scott reason for concern. He could hear Logan muttering his name, voice broken by raw emotion when Scott reached for Logan, hoping to pull him from his nightmare. "Logan wake up!"

"Scott," Logan's eyes snapped open, disbelief running through his body when he discovered Scott beside him, alive and worried. Without hesitation Logan reached out for Scott, wrapping him up in his arms tightly, "you're here."

"I've been here all morning Logan," Scott replied hearing the labored breath that fell from Logan's lips. Wrapping his arms tighter around Logan, he placed a kiss on top of Logan's head, "I wasn't planning on going anywhere without you this morning considering we'd talked about taking a small time out to enjoy our time alone together. I figured we may as well sleep in a bit, maybe even think about ordering room service later, but once you started dreaming…"

"You were gone. I saw the blood and…" Logan pulled back seeing the confusion carry over Scott.

"Hey it was just a dream," Scott spoke up encouragingly, "That's all it was Logan."

"It just felt so…" Logan shuddered at Jean's words inside of his head, "You were bleeding and Jean…"

"What about Jean?" Scott asked worriedly.

"She was…" Logan struggled to find the words to explain the thoughts that had consumed him, "She was in talking in my dream and…"

"And what?" Scott questioned prompting him further towards a response.

"I don't know," Logan took in a labored breath, "Maybe it's because you and I were talking about Jean before and…"

"I said a lot of stupid things I didn't mean back at the school about that situation. Yes, I felt bad for hurting her," Scott began apologetically, "but I shouldn't have allowed my feelings for what happened to Jean consume us. You were right to try to snap me out of it like you did, but…"

"But nothing," Logan touched the side of Scott's face, thumb brushing over the hollow of Scott's cheekbone tenderly, "it doesn't matter anymore. Just seeing you here…in knowing you're alright…"

"Doesn't change the fact that something upset you," Scott half questioned, unable to mask the concerns that had overtaken him in the moment. "Want to talk about it?"

"Do I ever want to talk about it?" Logan asked gruffly, pulling his hand away from Scott's. Turning his head away from Scott, he spoke up in a quiet voice, "It doesn't matter."

"If you were upset it matters to me," Scott reached for Logan's hand again, "so don't shut me out. Talk to me."

"We talk way too much about things that shouldn't be said," Logan remarked sourly, his words less abrasive then he'd intended. When they hadn't convinced Scott to let the issue go, Logan turned to face him again with a sigh, "As you said it was just a dream."

"You want me to talk to you when I have a nightmare, so why not do the same with me?" Scott wiggled his brow in suggestion. "It helps."

"Now who is playing Freud?" Logan snarled opening his mouth to protest before letting out a long, relenting sigh, "You were in my head-in my dream. We were together, but…"

"But what?" Scott questioned worriedly. Reaching out to touch the side of Logan's face, he contemplated pressing further to investigate what had been happening. However, knowing what an uncomfortable situation it was when someone invaded private thoughts without permission, Scott took in a breath and stayed focused on the moment in trying to understand, "Tell me what were you dreaming about."

"We were together," Logan divulged closing his eyes and sighing, "We were together in a moment, several of them. They all started to blur into one, big thrill ride, but then it all disappeared. I was back in Stryker's lab and they were…"

"What Logan?" Scott hesitated almost afraid to ask when he saw the tension crease in Logan's brow.

"I was in the tank again," Logan shuddered at the memory. He closed his eyes and let out a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding. "They were all around me watching me submit myself to their madness. I could feel the needles, remember the rage inside of me and…"

"It was just a nightmare Logan," Scott reached out and squeezed his arms around Logan soothingly, "one that won't be able to hurt you ever again. Styker's gone. He has been for a while."

"But his madness still remains. I'm living, breathing proof of that," Logan reopened his eyes to face Scott fully, "You saw yourself when you were in that place that his legacy still lives on if you could even call it that."

"They're going to be hard pressed to pull it all together again after the lab went down with the building," Scott noted thinking about what he'd learned of the aftermath of where they'd been. "It's going to take them a while to regroup."

"People with that kind of determination and power always find a way," Logan warned with a sudden seriousness in his voice. "It's only a matter of time before they pick up right where they left off with the experiments and…"

"We'll find a way to stop them," Scott promised wondering if that was truly a possibility for them. "We'll go back to where it began and…"

"It's far from being over. Even with Stryker out of the picture there are still so many questions that remain in what they're doing," Logan hesitated, tipping his head to the side and meeting Scott's concerned, blue eyes.

"You mean with me," Scott couldn't help, but frown.

"With both of us," Logan corrected with a heavy sigh, "there are a lot of things that we both don't understand. Given some time it's possible, but…"

"We'll have to take the first step in getting there," Scott nodded in agreement. "Granted it's something that should be on the top of our lists, but right now, well I guess I'd kind of hoped that our first official morning together would be filled with a little down time."

"Since when is that a possibility for us?" Logan challenged giving Scott another long look. "There's always something that needs our attention."

"Good point," Scott agreed, his voice shifting with the same business as usual demeanor that had dominated him in times of battle, "Selfishly I'm just not sure I'm ready to return to it just yet."

"Wow, that's something I never thought I'd hear from you," Logan couldn't help, but smirk. "Not that I'm complaining, but it shows you just how much things have changed."

"It's not that I don't care because you know I do, yet at the same time…" Scott opened his mouth in protest, preparing to defend his words.

"You're doing exactly what I'd asked of you in taking time for yourself," Logan's grin expanded, "which proves that you are capable of following direction rather well."

"Don't let it get to your head," Scott paused with a hint of seriousness in his tone, "because I haven't forgotten about responsibility. I'm just…"

"Putting it on the shelf for a little while," Logan finished for him knowingly, "I can respect that."

"It's been years building up, but I think now I need to focus on what's important for me on a personal level as well. I spent far too much time ignoring what felt right for me and it caused chaos. There was no balance and that's something that needs to be worked on. Not that I'll stop fighting for what we all believe in, but…" Scott continued with an uneasiness in his tone.

"It's alright to give yourself a little time to just breathe," Logan settled onto the bed again, "We could all use a little bit of that every now and then."

"Especially when we're trying to rest and relax," Scott noted with a curiosity in his tone, "In dreams we should be able to find peace and serenity."

"Back to the dream again, are we?" Logan grumbled in response.

"You didn't think I would give up that easily, did you?" Scott prompted further.

"I'd kind of hoped you would," Logan admitted with a grumble.

"No such luck," Scott shrugged simply, "So what else can you tell me about your dream? Was there anything in specific that you saw that…?"

"I attacked you Scott," Logan divulged with a somber expression, "Jean was in my head taunting me in those moments when the rage overtook me…"

"You saw Jean in your dream as well?" Scott couldn't help, but frown at the mention of his former lover when Logan nodded. "Logan, that has to be the guilt from what happened talking to us. You said it yourself it's been overwhelming for both of us. You know as well as I do even if we're hearing her voice and seeing her that she's gone. You said it yourself that there's no way she could be…"

"She told me that I condemned you, that I should've just left you alone," Logan attempted to pull away from Scott when a shiver overtook him. "Maybe she's right. I'm dangerous Scott."

"Not to me you aren't," Scott reached out for Logan, touching his shoulder in a tender sweep.

"Look at what I'm capable of," Logan frowned over at him, "You saw back in Ohio that when I lose control I cause chaos."

"Please don't tell me we're returning to that again," Scott couldn't help, but frown. Holding his hand up in the air, he shook his head at Logan, "As you can see it's healed perfectly."

"But what if next time it doesn't?" Logan questioned stretching his hand out to lace his fingers with Scott's. Bringing Scott in closer, Logan's gaze dropped down to the smooth skin of Scott's palm seeing there weren't any lingering scars upon his soft flesh. Scott's new ability to heal had erased the horrible moment when Logan had injured him, yet the memory of Scott bleeding out still lingered in Logan's mind.

"There isn't going to be a next time," Scott wrinkled his nose at the suggestion, "Logan, we both know that I've changed. Even if something should happen, which I'm confident it won't, I'll be able to recover from it. With my new healing powers..."

"What if it changes? What if they go away and I hurt you again? What if I have a nightmare when you're asleep and something goes wrong? You know as well as I do that there's always a possibility that…" Logan mouthed worriedly, unable to hold back on his fears.

"Logan, where is this coming from?" Scott couldn't help, but question curiously. "We were fine a little while ago, but now…"

"Scott, I'm dangerous. I've never pretended to be otherwise and now that we're…" Logan's words tapered off when he turned his attention to the ring on Scott's finger. "We just have so much more to lose…"

"Aren't I supposed to be the one worrying about everything Logan?" Scott attempted to lighten the mood between them. "Just because we're together now doesn't mean that we have to share my nagging worries pondering every aspect of a scenario before…"

"Scott, as much as it pains me to do this there's something we need to talk about," Logan cleared his throat, finding an uneasiness overtake him. "It's probably something I should've told you sooner, but it was something that I had locked away in my subconscious for a long time, something that I wasn't aware of until…."

"Until what?" Scott questioned worriedly, "Logan, if you're going to tell me that there's someone else out there, something that…"

"No," Logan took in a nervous breath, "this isn't about someone else-at least not in the way that you're thinking. This is about my father…"

"Your father," Scott repeated seeing the way Logan's brow creased with tension in the moment.

Logan nodded, "When we were back in my mind sharing that memory there was a reason why I didn't want to stick around. I didn't want you to see everything that took place."

"I understand Logan. You don't have to explain anything you don't want to. My childhood wasn't the greatest either, but…" Scott attempted to give Logan an out to the worries that were consuming him.

"I murdered my father Scott," Logan blurted out still shaken by the nightmare that had consumed him. Drawing in a breath, Logan sat up straighter on the bed facing the reality that had escaped him for more years then he could remember, "It was an accident at the time, but…"

Scott remained silent, bringing his hand over Logan's in a small, supportive squeeze.

"I didn't know what was happening to me, didn't understand my powers," Logan explained somberly. Lowering his head, he refused to meet Scott's eyes when the truth poured out from deep within his subconscious, "I was sick-really sick and that night, well, that's when my powers emerged. There was so much chaos and…I didn't know what I was doing at the time. I just wanted to make the madness stop. I wanted him to leave…"

"Your father?" Scott questioned gently, his fingers pressing over the top of Logan's hand, massaging over the knuckles where Logan's claws exited from his flesh when the situation called for it. Seeing the perfect skin before him, Scott knew no one would believe Logan's mutation was a reality, yet in seeing how much Logan had endured because of what he'd been through, Scott's heart when out to him. With a soft brush over Logan's worried flesh, Scott felt Logan tense up at the touch, but Scott refused to let go.

Logan nodded somberly, "I didn't know he was my father. At the time I just believed…hell, I don't know what I believed, but that night when he showed up at the house my mother was screaming. She was so upset and Victor was there. Everything was chaos until finally I lost myself to rage. I attacked him and he had no means of defending himself Scott. I watched the life drain out of him when he told me he was my father and…"

"It's okay. You had no idea what could happen. As you said you were a child and…," Scott offered up bringing his arms around Logan's strong, powerful shoulders.

"No Scott," Logan shook his head firmly, refusing to allow Scott to comfort him, "It's not okay. It can't ever be okay in knowing that I destroyed my father. There was so much blood and anger. He hadn't expected it, yet when it happened…"

"You said it yourself. You were a child," Scott reminded him simply, "You didn't know better considering that…"

"It doesn't matter. I'm a monster-an animal. I spent years doing awful things Scott-things I'm not proud of and," Logan argued with a heavy scowl overtaking his tense features, "if I can murder my own flesh and blood, then what's to stop me from losing control one night when I least expect it? What's going to keep me from doing the same to you should the nightmares return? You saw what happened with Marie when I first arrived and…"

"It's a risk I'm willing to take," Scott felt Logan pull away from him. Fearing that Logan would walk away, Scott climbed over Logan, pushing himself onto Logan's lap in a futile attempt to keep him in bed. "Logan, look at me."

"Scott, there's so much about me that you don't know. I was made for destruction, for violence. I've done horrible things-things that I don't deserve a reprieve from. Hell, there are things that I don't even know about and when you think about what I'm good at…" Logan's mouth curved downward in protest.

"You're good at loving me," Scott blurted out without hesitation, "You're good at making me feel like the luckiest man alive to have you in my life. You're the best person in the world at that truth be told."

"Scott, I'm being serious," Logan frowned with thick uneasiness in his voice.

"So am I Logan," Scott reached out to cup the sides of his face, "You are my world and without you in it, well, there'd be no reason to keep going on. You might see yourself as a monster because that's what Stryker put into your head, but that's not what I know you are. We've both done things we aren't proud of, but I've seen you evolve into someone who puts others he cares about above his own needs, who is willing to make personal sacrifice risking it all to do right by those he loves…"

"Scott, you're making me sound like something I'm not. You know first hand what kind of madness I've created. I've been cold and selfish, even in dealing with you. I hurt you with my own greedy nature by putting your life into an uproar. I'm not what you're saying I am Scott," Logan couldn't help but frown.

"Yes you are. You're all those things and more Logan. Sure, you might try to hide that part of yourself form the world around you. Yes, you have this gruff persona that makes others think you're intimidating, but when it gets down to it even with a bad attitude at times, your heart is in the right place," Scott continued in an impassioned tone. "It always has been."

"I don't believe that Scott. I was a very different man before you walked into my life. I'm greedy and selfish and," Logan divulged with a heavy sigh radiating from his chest, "the things I did before when I was with Victor…"

"They're the past, but what we have…it's the future," Scott spoke up encouragingly. "We're a team now-an unbreakable team that simply won't allow the past to take this from us."

"How is it you're suddenly so sure that everything is going to be fine?" Logan's lip curled in uncertainty.

"What can I say? After losing it all a man gains a whole new perspective on the things that mean the most to him," Scott shrugged his shoulders simply, "You of all people should know that. Sure, maybe we're not always perfect in dealing with each other, but what we do have is something that not everyone is able to find. What we share together is strong, solid and very real Logan. After not having it-in living without it, I now know what I never want to endure again."

"I understand the value of having meaning in your life, but at the same time, I also know what it's like to watch it fade away right before your eyes Scott," Logan's eyes flashed with concern, unable to mask the fears that mounted in experiencing the nightmare where he'd involuntarily killed Scott.

"You told me not so long ago that we can't spend our lives living on what if," Scott explained in a smooth and even tone, "and while I realize this is undoubtedly residual apprehension over what we did last night-about the realization that we're in this for the long haul together now, well I have to tell you Logan that there isn't a doubt in my mind about you or us for that matter. You've never been a monster to me. When I look at you I'm not afraid. I don't worry about what you think you could do because I know your heart. I look at you and see the man I love plain and simple."

"Scott with what Jean said in the dream…," Logan opened his mouth in protest only to feel Scott's finger press over the center of his mouth.

"Logan, listen to me. There were times when Jean terrified me in the past when I was with her. There were moments when I was frightened beyond anything I'd ever known, but when I'm with you, it's never been that way. There were moments when she scared the hell out of me, but you never have. I've always trusted that despite the odds stacked against us from the start that we were going to be okay," Scott smiled back at him supportively, "Granted you might exhaust me completely if we keep doing what we did last night and this morning with one another, but beyond that…"

"This morning," Logan repeated disoriented and struggling to pull himself away from the nightmares that Stryker had implanted in his mind long enough to sink back to reality again.

"Don't tell me the more distracting, erotic details of this morning have slipped your mind already after one nightmare," Scott winked at him playfully in an attempt to coax a positive response out of Logan.

"I wouldn't go that far," Logan took in a breath sensing Scott's attempt at lightening the subject between them, "but then again if you'd like to include them in this conversation, it might be a good segue into something better for us."

"How did I know you'd say that?" Scott traced Logan's square jaw, memorizing his rough, handsome features.

"Because you claim to be an expert on me," Logan couldn't help, but tease attempting to lighten the mood when their eyes met again, "so prove it. Distract me."

"Before we went to sleep we had the whole fantasy scenario going between us," Scott blushed at the memory sliding his hands down over Logan's bare, oversized, muscular chest, "I know it wasn't exactly what we'd planned on, but when I touched you, I couldn't stop myself. When you gave me permission to enter your mind again while we were making love I felt what you were thinking. When we were together…you have to admit the sex was pretty incredible…on a whole different level…"

"A whole different level," Logan repeated straining to focus on the time with Scott he'd pushed behind him when he'd been lost in his nightmare. "You were enjoying being my head again. It was a rush for you, wasn't it?"

"I wouldn't have done it without permission," Scott offered up sheepishly.

"That doesn't mean you enjoyed it any less," Logan searched his eyes for a long moment, "You were making yourself at home surrounded by my thoughts."

"Only because you suggested it. I was hesitant considering it's a bit overwhelming and draining to some degree once I'm finished, but…," Scott paused, his flushed features catching Logan's attention when he continued, "when we were exploring your thoughts again when we were inside of each other, I could feel myself getting back to the one about our first time together and then…"

"Then what happened for you?" Logan questioned tentatively allowing himself to focus on Scott's touch skimming over hair and muscle leading to his abdomen.

"You don't remember how it felt?" Scott asked with a wounded expression on his face. The slide of Scott's hands ceased, returning to Logan's shoulders with a small press.

"I remember that part, but let's get back to after-to what happened once you were looking into my thoughts again. Surely there must've been something more you experienced in walking around in my head beyond sex," Logan strained to put together the pieces of the morning with Scott wondering how long Scott had seen inside of him. "What did you see?"

"We weren't there for very long and there wasn't really room for anything else beyond what we were focusing on Logan," Scott replied uneasily, "You really don't remember all of that, do you?"

"Sure I do," Logan smiled thinking back to the horrible nightmare he'd experienced. Although Scott seemed rather calm, Logan couldn't help, but wonder if Scott had witnessed first hand the darkness that surrounded Logan in the moment. Granted Scott was well aware of the boundaries they'd set in keeping Logan's thoughts private, but after the previous evening when Logan had opened the door to his past by inviting Scott inside, he couldn't help, but wonder if Scott would give in to temptation and steal a glance every now and then without permission. Logan was well aware of how much Scott hated when Jean would do that to him in the past, yet with the temptation of the new powers still lingering, Logan couldn't be certain Scott would respect the boundaries between them given it's alluring pull. Suddenly uneasy about the idea of his thoughts not being his own, Logan looked to Scott again wondering if Scott would silently seek out a deeper truth from inside of his head.

"We agreed reality trumps fantasy and we went for it. I wasn't comfortable invading your thoughts beyond the sex part even though you gave me permission," Scott simply shrugged as if he could sense Logan's worries in the moment. He motioned to the disarrayed blankets on the bed that surrounded them. "We got a little intense and…"

"We just decided to continue to make love instead," Logan blinked back at him with a hint of relief in his tone. "That's all? There wasn't anything else that you saw?"

"Aside from the moon and the stars," Scott couldn't help, but tease with a hint of laughter.

"Scott, I'm being serious," Logan's sour tone spilled over his lips, "If you were still looking around inside my head after…"

"I wasn't," Scott frowned at the implication, "Logan, I already told you that…"

"I know it's easy sometimes to say one thing and do another," Logan explained drawing in a uneasy breath when his eyes instinctively found their way to Scott's abdomen remembering the carnage that haunted his dream. "You once told me that when you and Jean were together she would take a look at your dreams and…"

"I hated it Logan," Scott couldn't help, but frown in offense, "and yes maybe I've been tempted when I could see you were upset especially when your dreams consumed you, but I held back. I knew it wasn't my place especially after you'd asked me not to do it."

"Scott, I wasn't trying to say that…" Logan started seeing the wounded expression on Scott's face.

"Yes you were, but it's fine," Scott shrugged simply with an air of distain in his tone, "I didn't give you any reason not to think otherwise. I'm telling you now that I didn't. Your dreams are your own unless you ask otherwise."

"Look I…" Logan spoke up finding himself at a loss. He contemplated saying something further on the issue, but instead shifted the direction of the conversation, "So we sure had a good time here this morning, huh?"

"Please don't act so blasé about it because I think I'd be highly offended considering that sex lead to well all of this…" Scott curled his lip, mouth ready to offer up a further elaboration on the matter.

"This," Logan repeated taking in the scent of now wrinkling rose petals and the lingering candles that had surrounded him. Immediately he thought about how they were at the hotel, still immersed in the blankets of the bed they'd shared after the ceremony. Slowly the pieces of reality began to filter in, forcing out the nightmare and attempting to steal the fear away from him, "In the honeymoon suite."

"That's right," Scott nodded feeling Logan reach for their hands. He pulled Scott's fingers within his and gripped onto them tightly, "I love that you surprised me with this."

"After the ceremony," Logan closed his eyes again, struggling to keep his lingering fears under control. His chest was tight, breathing heavy. Despite his best attempts to focus on Scott in the moment, Logan realized that worry still coiled over his body in vividly remembering the exchange he'd experienced back in Stryker's lab.

"That's right," Scott brought one hand up through Logan's hair soothingly, "Logan, talk to me."

"I keep thinking about that dream. It just keeps replaying in my mind along with seeing us in our bedroom at the school going through my thoughts together. When I think about how we shared the memory of us going back to my first day at the school, things getting hot and heavy, it was nice. Even this morning…that was intense. Those are the kind of things I want to share with you, but then it all returns to what it felt like being in that tank, being trapped in Stryker's lab and…" Logan shivered at the vividness of the memory, "In my mind I was lost and in the dream you tried to wake me up, but then I slashed you and there was so much blood…"

"It was just a dream," Scott offered up soothingly.

"It felt so real with you beside me," Logan confessed with a shivering exhale, "so much like it was truly happening and knowing who I am-what I'm capable of…"

"Logan, I'm fine," Scott promised squeezing his fingers over Logan's hand, "It was just a dream undoubtedly brought on by everything we've been talking about over the last few days. I realize that things felt intense, but at the same time…"

"It felt so real," Logan's gaze lingered once again to Scott's abdomen knowing only too well that the warmth of the blood he'd experienced seemed so powerful, too real to simply be a nightmare. It was consuming and…

"Logan, I'm alright," Scott reached for Logan's hand, bringing it up over the lines of his abdomen, "Nothing like that happened. As you can clearly see…"

"It just felt so…" Logan stopped himself, his worry carrying over his senses. Logan's eyes moved beyond Scott to the place on the floor where the remains of the rose petals were still laid out across the floor, "I just thought that…"

"It was just a dream-a horrible one at that, but there isn't any power to it. Given that you and I are both prone to those situations where our subconscious likes to give us torture sessions, I guess it really shouldn't be a surprise that we're taking turns in having nightmares, but the past won't hurt us again. You taught me that when you encouraged me to let go Logan. Now I'm asking you to do the same with the dream," Scott clarified with concerned blue eyes. Reaching out to touch the side of Logan's face tenderly, "Trust me. It was just nervous energy after last night. That's all that was there."

"I just…" Logan finally nodded, turning his attention to the time, "I guess all of that stuff that's been happening worked a number on my head when we started exploring memories together. Perhaps poking around in my head isn't such a good idea since it's opening other memories in the process that I'm not eager to explore just yet. Maybe we should just skip over that kind of stimulation for a while."

"Fair enough," Scott agreed reaching for Logan's hand, "because as much as I enjoyed being in your mind, this is where I much prefer to have you."

"Scott," Logan opened his mouth to say something more when Scott raised Logan's hand to his lips in a tender brush. Instead of offering up more explanation, Logan simply settled into the blankets taking Scott with him. Closing his eyes he thought to the tortured years that time had stolen from him, to the dark parts of his history he couldn't escape, yet with Scott in his arms he found himself caught up in a moment of reprieve. There were so many things he wanted to say, so many feelings he'd experienced, but with the press of Scott's head in against his chest, Logan simply entered into the moment, giving himself into it with a sigh of relief, "Thank you."

"For what?" Scott asked lazily running his fingers across the center of Logan's hair dusted chest.

"For loving me," Logan mouthed knowing that yes, he would always have uncertainty and doubts, but Scott's ability to have faith in him kept him from breaking, kept him grounded and with Scott in his arms, pledging his unending loyalty, Logan found himself at ease in ways he never felt he'd deserved.

XXXXX


	17. Chapter 17

Scott looked to the suitcase on the top of his bed knowing there was still a long way to go before he would finish with filling it back up. Packing had never been his favorite activity especially when it meant returning to the criticism that would undoubtedly follow his lack of responsibility. Yes, he'd always prided himself on being the one who was in control, who had stoically kept everything together when it came to battle, but in facing matters of the heart that was always increasingly more complicated. After a night away with Logan, he couldn't help, but find himself wishing that they had taken more time together. Knowing what would be waiting back at the school, what they would undoubtedly face in revealing their impulsive decision, Scott was certain there would be backlash. He'd known it when they'd left, yet it hadn't factored into what they'd done. Then again, perhaps if he adopted more of Logan's no apologies and no regrets attitude it would simply go smoother for them in their return.

"You're quiet," Logan noted from his place on the bed. He took a bite of the bagel Scott had picked up earlier in the morning. Munching on it with a hearty bite, Logan's curious eyes expanded, "That's unusual for you. What's going on?"

"We've got a lot of people who aren't going to be happy with us this morning when we get back," Scott noted pushing his clothing into the suitcase on the bed with a small scowl, "Considering we kind of took off without any real notice to do this, well it might reflect poorly on my leadership abilities and the desire to be responsible. Given that we threw caution to the wind they aren't going to be happy considering that…"

"I see what you're saying, but since when do I care about making the world around me happy? As long as you're happy, then to hell with everyone else," Logan shrugged his shoulders simply. "If people don't understand our decision, then it's their problem not ours, right?"

"Of course," Scott nodded in agreement.

"Experiencing any regrets?" Logan raised a crooked brow, seeing something flash behind Scott's bright, blue eyes.

"Not a one, you?" Scott settled in beside Logan with a smile carrying over his features.

"Honestly," Logan lay back, bringing Scott with him into the pillows again, "not at all. This feels nice."

"It sure does," Scott agreed sliding in over Logan's chest, "which is why I thought maybe we should take the time to enjoy it a bit longer. I know we talked about this only being a day or so, but I think we should take an extended vacation-something to give us time together…"

"Like a real honeymoon?" Logan couldn't help, but laugh at the thought.

"Sort of," Scott admitted with a small breath, "but instead of a tropical island, I was thinking something a bit more familiar."

"Such as?" Logan picked his head up and searched Scott's eyes again.

"We take a break from things at the school for now to focus on us," Scott divulged quietly, "Maybe if we go back to Ohio for a while…"

"Ohio," Logan repeated issuing Scott another look, "Really?"

"I still have the house. I know I talked about putting it on the market, but maybe now we can go back there, regroup and perhaps look into finding Victor. I have a few resources there that I haven't gotten into before now, but with the situation it couldn't hurt to do a little digging on our own. I know it's been on your mind and…" Scott continued simply.

"About that," Logan couldn't help, but frown, "Scott there's something that I need to talk to you about. Something that I think you should know about Victor considering that…"

"That what?" Scott questioned turning his attention to Logan again, "What's going on?"

"You know that talk I had with Chuck the other day?" Logan questioned clearing his throat.

"Yeah," Scott nodded, "You never told me about what was happening with that."

"It's complicated," Logan cleared his throat uneasily. Shifting on the blankets he pulled himself up to an upright position. Severing the ties between him and Scott he looked to the floor uneasily.

"What happened?" Scott couldn't help, but frown. "What haven't you told me Logan?"

"He found a lead on Victor," Logan divulged quietly, "before we decided to leave I was supposed to go out in the morning with a team and look into it."

"What do you mean in the morning?" Scott paused watching Logan turn his back to him, guilt overriding the moment. "Wait a second…you were going to go out on a mission without me, weren't you?"

Logan nodded, "Chuck felt it was in your best interest if we didn't get you involved in it. Given your history with Victor…"

"That son of a bitch," Scott spat out surprising Logan with his words. Bouncing off the bed Scott started to pace around the room, "I don't believe this."

"Scott, he was just looking out for your best interests and he's right," Logan raised his chin up to see Scott waving his hands around in the air wildly, "The last time you and Victor were with one another the results were near fatal."

"That's beside the point," Scott grumbled in response, stomping around for a few seconds longer before he shook his head, "I should've known something was happening. That voice was telling me not to trust him, not to listen to what he said, but given our history I just thought… Damn it, I'm such a fool. I felt like something was happening, but I couldn't piece it together."

"Piece what together?" Logan questioned seeing the anger that surged over Scott's features.

"He offered to help me look into the past, to discover what was happening to me when he and I talked the other day," Scott mouthed sourly, his demeanor changing rapidly in the moment. His blue eyes intensified, deepening to a darker shade when his fists clenched at his sides, "He suggested that in discovering the truth I would have to make certain sacrifices, that I would have to gain some clarity and focus, yet in doing so…"

"What?" Logan questioned watching as Scott spun around, bringing his arm out towards one of the vases on the dresser. With a snarl, Scott slammed his fist into the air, shattering the glass to pieces without hesitation. His cheeks puffed out in rage, breath heavy and labored when the glass shattered causing Logan to flinch.

"He told me I had to give you up," Scott's eyes narrowed with anger when he faced Logan again, "He said I couldn't have distractions…"

"Wait a second," Logan blinked back at him watching Scott's eyes transform with the rage inside of him, "Scott?"

"I should've known it was a set up," Scott's words came out in a hiss, his frustrations guiding his movements. "Damn it, how could I have been such a fool?"

"Scott calm down," Logan began worriedly seeing the blue fading from Scott's eyes, transforming to a deeper, darker shade almost black in the moment.

"No, I'm not going to calm down Logan," Scott snarled in response, his words biting into the air between them. "He tried to take you from me and…"

"Scott, look I understand being upset, but right now I think it would be best if you…" Logan opened his mouth tentatively, seeing the first flicker of a glow over Scott's features. Worriedly Logan's gaze traveled to the nightstand by the bed where Scott's glasses had been. Although Scott had been in complete control since he'd been taken it seemed his anger had sparked another reaction inside of him.

"I don't believe this," Scott closed his eyes, taking in a long breath before standing up taller. "How could he do this in knowing that you made me happy? That you're the one person who understands what I'm going through and…?"

"Scott, I'm sure there was a misunderstanding," Logan attempted to reason with Scott, sensing the anger that spiraled out from within Scott.

"There was no misunderstanding Logan. He wanted us apart," Scott decided opening his eyes again to reveal their controlled blue depths. Although Logan could sense the rage was still there, Scott had grabbed a hold of it, keeping it from exploding inside of him. "Clearly he must've sensed that I wouldn't give you up, so he was going to send you away. He was trying to…"

"Hold on," Logan pulled himself up, seeing the way Scott's hands balled up tighter into fists, "You're saying he specifically told you that we had to be…?"

"Over," Scott nodded firmly his lips parting in between angry breaths, "which only made me realize that losing this was the last thing I wanted. After he left, I found my way down to the classroom to see you and…"

"You proposed," Logan's jaw dropped in astonishment. Kicking his legs over the side of the bed, he gulped down hard, "So you're saying you asked me to do this because Chuck pissed you off? You weren't really feeling overly sentimental and…"

"Of course I was feeling all those things," Scott softened his tone, moving forward to kneel before Logan. Bringing his hands out over Logan's legs in a tender sweep, Scott squeezed at Logan's muscled flesh hoping to have Logan meet his eyes again, "I know this is what I want, what I need and I'm not going to allow anyone to take this away from me. What we have is the best thing that's ever happened to me and…"

"So you ran away with me to defy him," Logan couldn't help, but let out a hollow laugh unable to mask his surprise in Scott's actions. "That's why this was so urgent…"

"You're the one who said we should do this last night," Scott reminded him simply. His fingers squeezed over Logan's thighs, holding onto him as if everything in the moment depended upon it, "I would've done it anytime, but given your suggestion…"

"You rushed forward into it headstrong without thought to consequence or what kind of rift it might create," Logan realized seeing something in Scott's handsome features, a culmination of tension and anger just beneath the surface, lingering, awaiting the right moment to reveal itself. Although Logan was certain it wasn't directed at him, he knew the look, had experienced it himself and was well aware of what it could mean to Scott if he lost control.

"I went forward on impulse, which is something that you've encouraged me to do time and time again. I've changed Logan," Scott softened his tone before reaching up to touch the side of Logan's face, "I'm not going to hide from what I want any longer. You were right when you said we can't allow guilt to consume us. Yes, I made a mistake with Jean, but I knew in my heart I didn't want to repeat that in our relationship. We've wasted too much time apart and I wasn't going to allow anyone or anything to stop us from being able to have each other. Logan, I love you."

"Enough to defy the one man who raised you," Logan noted with an uneasiness in his voice still surprised by Scott's confession.

"Eventually he'll realize that we're at our best with each other," Scott shrugged his shoulders simply, "and if he doesn't, well, then that's something he's going to have to come to terms with. I'm not giving you up for anything."

"So there it is," Logan let out an ironic laugh, "When we go back I'm going to have to not only deal with Victor and others who are against us, but we'll have to tiptoe around a new source of contention for all of us within the school."

"No we won't. It isn't his decision," Scott shook his head firmly, "and it won't be like that."

"How can you be so convinced Scott? If he was telling you that we shouldn't be together, then maybe he knows something that we don't. Maybe he sees something that we overlooked when…" Logan frowned thinking about the nightmare that had consumed him.

"We haven't overlooked anything other then the fact that Victor is still out there," Scott's eyes met his with a newfound determination, "We'll find him together. We'll deal with this situation in our own way and…"

"No," Logan shook his head firmly, "Scott, I don't want you involved in this. The Professor was right to keep you from this mission. You aren't strong enough yet and…"

"Not strong enough? Come on Logan you know as well as I do that I'm stronger than ever," Scott mouthed defiantly, "I've been changing each day and with these new powers…"

"You aren't certain of them. You need to figure them out and…" Logan opened his mouth in protest, knowing only too well what going after Victor would mean for them.

"We need to stop Victor," Scott interrupted with a stubborn scowl. "As long as he's out there, we're going to have to worry about what he'll do next. If we seek him out and find him…"

"We can, but right now…" Logan offered up with a small breath.

"Now we regroup, put together a plan and then push forward," Scott decided returning to the leader mode that Logan had grown so accustomed to with him in the past. Scott stood up pacing around the room and weighing out their options, "We can assemble a team when we get back to the school, but first we can do a little research and…"

"By now Victor's undoubtedly moved," Logan decided thinking about the information Charles had given him. "He won't be staying around in one place too long, so the lead that was there is undoubtedly invalid."

"Fine, then we work on discovering a new lead. We figure out what we need to bait him in," Scott offered up with a firm, commanding tone, "We already know what he wants, so that shouldn't be hard. If we just…"

"Just what?" Logan questioned.

"We set a trap for him and we wait," Scott suggested after a moment's contemplation. "He knows where to find us in Ohio and…"

"You want to go back to Ohio to bait him?" Logan's eyes widened with surprise.

"Do you have a better suggestion?" Scott opened the floor for Logan's input.

"Having you as bait is not on the top of my list," Logan couldn't help, but frown thinking about his history with Victor. "Last time he might not have been prepared, but this time around when he returns he's not going to back down. He's got a new mission in mind and…"

"He's also the one person that ties back to what happened to the both of us," Scott added meeting Logan's eyes expectantly, "If we're able to get the information out of him, then…"

"He's not going to willingly dish out answers to us Scott. You of all people should know that…" Logan opened his mouth in protest.

"A man like Victor doesn't want to be told what to do. Eventually he'll have something bigger in mind and when he does he'll be ready to give up those who have been controlling him. He'll want to step out on his own and…" Scott suggested meeting Logan's eyes again.

"I'm well aware of that which is why time is of the essence here," Logan couldn't help, but admit. "If we hesitate…"

"Then we lose," Scott agreed with him, "So let's not hesitate. Let's do this."

"Go after Victor?" Logan raised a scrutinizing brow knowing just how much would weigh upon their decision to take an active step against Victor.

Scott nodded, "Why not? We know that together we're an unstoppable team. We've proven that already, have we not?"

"We have," Logan agreed, "So we go back to the school and…"

"No, we don't go there. We go to Ohio," Scott clarified taking in a breath. "We get into the house, do some recon and then work from there…"

"And what about the school? What about Chuck?" Logan couldn't help, but ask.

"We're going to have to tell Xavier that we're not coming back right away," Scott interrupted with an uneasy breath, "He's not going to be happy to hear that considering that…"

"That you've just gone well out of your way to defy him in a pretty big fashion," Logan tossed back at him flippantly.

"He'll get over it," Scott rolled his shoulders back, puffing his chest out defiantly, "but now, well now we do what's needed to get the job done."

"In Ohio?" Logan half questioned, already knowing the answer.

"That's right," Scott nodded firmly, "and when we find Victor he's not going to know what hit him."

"I hope you're right on that," Logan muttered under his breath wondering how far Victor had gotten on his path to securing adamantium. Knowing what potential for danger could come of Victor's quest, Logan just hoped that they weren't too late to stop him.

XXXXX

"Remind me again why we stopped here because the last time I checked this wasn't part of the plan," Scott couldn't help, but issue another protest when Logan guided him towards the booming establishment before them. Tipping his head up to notice the sign, indicating the racy name of the club, Scott frowned disapprovingly, "A strip club? Seriously Logan that's not exactly sensible, new life together material considering that…"

"You said you wanted to work," Logan shrugged his shoulders simply, unable to mask the amusement in his tone at Scott's disapproval, "so we're going to get a jump start on things."

"At a strip club? Logan, this isn't exactly what I had in mind when I said we'd do this as a team," Scott curled his lip in protest, his uneasiness showing in the moment when they approached the entrance. "I don't really think this is the place to begin figuring things out when…"

"There's a dancer here that knows someone who might be able to help us," Logan explained drawing in a breath.

"A dancer? Really Logan?" Scott couldn't help, but groan outwardly. "Somehow I seriously doubt a strip club is the place to find a lead to get us where we need to go."

"It's worth a try Scott," Logan divulged thinking back to the run in he had with Bert a short while ago. "I want to get a few words in with her and see if maybe she can point us in the right direction to find him so that we can find Victor."

"Because dancers are so forthcoming in offering up information," Scott rolled his eyes once again. "Smart Logan."

"Hey, you'd be surprised at what people are willing to open up about to you when they are properly motivated," Logan informed him with a frustrated huff. "It's something worth looking into…"

"Or looking at?" Scott motioned to the stage before them where two dancers were grinding up on each other.

"Trust me I'm not here for the scenery," Logan fought to suppress the amusement he carried with him in seeing Scott less than amused by their surroundings. "Although if you'd like to strip down and work your way up to that pole over there…"

"Keep dreaming Logan," Scott mouthed sourly before focusing on Logan again, "So this dancer…does she have a name?"

"I'm not sure," Logan's mouth curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl. "She's got reddish brown hair though and…"

"Is that right?" Scott folded his arms in front of his chest with a thick air of skepticism surrounding him.

"Look, I know what you're thinking Scott and yes at first I thought it might be a dead end, but in knowing Victor undoubtedly wants this guy I'm looking for I think it's a good step in the right direction," Logan appealed to Scott once again, this time with a bit of frustration leaving his tone.

"I thought it was a dancer you were seeking out," Scott attempted to clarify.

"She can help me find him," Logan added looking around the club once again, surveying the room for the familiar face.

"Who is this person we're looking for?" Scott questioned readily, his mind attempting to focus on the mission at hand. "What's his name since you don't know hers?"

"Bert," Logan explained drawing in a determined breath, "and he's someone who worked at the facility you were held at."

"Really?" Scott's blue eyes widened with surprise. "Was he one of the…?"

"He was the janitor," Logan explained briefly, his eyes surveying the busy club around them, "Although he wasn't directly tied into what was happening, the night that you were abducted he was the one who pointed me in the right direction to find Victor."

"How can a janitor help us Logan?" Scott couldn't help, but ask giving the place a long perusal. Seeing dancers up on the stage bumping and grinding, Scott couldn't help, but shudder with uneasiness. Even in a bolder state, he was uncomfortable in the surroundings-found the place to be tasteless and uncomfortable with the men around the bar waving money at the dancers. Looking up he watched one woman strip out of her skimpy top to reveal her manufactured breasts and he groaned, "Logan, couldn't we just so seek him out at his home or something? This place is…"

"The only link we'll have to him," Logan explained readily. "He's on the run for stealing adamantium from the facility. He's been selling it and using it to fund his vice here…"

"You've got to be kidding me," Scott couldn't help, but roll his eyes, "really?"

"Down to his last dollar," Logan nodded with sudden seriousness.

"Seriously?" Scott shook his head and groaned, "With all the things going on in the world today it seems kind of frivolous when if you look hard enough you can find the attention for free I'm sure."

"Different strokes for different folks," Logan couldn't help, but crack a grin, "You sure you're going to be alright in here?"

"I think we already established my vehement protest to searching here," Scott met Logan's eyes with a stern warning, "but since you claim this is all we have to go on…"

"I'll try to make this as quick and painless as possible," Logan promised scanning the club once again, "I know you are used to keeping it clean…"

"Not since I've been with you I haven't," Scott mouthed under his breath, stealing a look at Logan again, "but to get back on track, if we're seeking out this guy, then so be it. What does he look like? Give me a run down and I'll find him."

"He's round, balding, glasses and…" Logan replied thinking about the few encounters he'd had with Bert.

"Never mind," Scott stepped forward bringing his hands up towards the side of Logan's face. He hesitated a mere fraction of an inch away from Logan before taking in a breath, "may I?"

"What?" Logan blinked back at him curiously.

"I'll take a look for myself and see what he looks like. That way we don't have to work on a generic description alone," Scott spoke up tentatively, his blue eyes searching Logan's. "Alright?"

Logan grudgingly nodded, "Just make it quick and…"

"Think about his face," Scott suggested pressing his fingertips against Logan's skin, feeling the beginnings of a warmth carry over him, drawing out a memory of being in the same place. Only then Logan was alone, seeking out the man with a rage, his anger fueled by his desire to find Victor. Scott could feel it coiling over his body, setting him on edge when the memory of Logan's frustration overtook his mind. He stiffened, tensing up before Logan when Scott was taken back into another room behind the curtain at the far end of the club. A smaller man gasped in horror, revealing his face to Logan and Scott felt Logan pull back with a jolt, severing the connection between them.

"That should be good enough," Logan searched Scott's eyes for a moment, seeing the way that Scott's lower lip was quivering with sensation. Worriedly he reached out to Scott, touching his shoulder gently, "You alright?"

"You shouldn't have pulled back so fast," Scott breathed, feeling a heaviness in his chest. His hazy eyes focused on Logan, channeling the return to their surroundings as he exhaled slowly, "I'm not sure breaking the connection that fast is safe."

"I just assumed that…" Logan squeezed Scott's shoulder again.

"I'm still new at this Logan and when I touch you and concentrate I have to ease into it and…" Scott stopped himself, refusing to analyze what was happening. Knowing that the height of his powers of telepathy had been limited in Logan's mind to touch combined with heightened emotions in the past, he struggled. Yes, Scott had been able to read others without a physical connection, but with Logan it felt as if it took more effort, more energy and the abrupt departure of their psychic link left Scott feeling even more physically drained, which was something that hadn't happened before.

"Scott, hey…" Logan slid his fingers down over Scott's arm to steady him when Scott seemed to stagger a bit more before him, "you okay?'

"Yeah," Scott nodded biting down on his lower lip with his lie, "I saw his face. Let's find him."

"If he's here," Logan added quickly scanning the club again, "The last time I saw Bert a few days ago he let me know that Victor's very interested in getting his hands on some adamantium. Given Victor's determination it's clear he'll stop at nothing to find Bert at this point."

"So why would the guy be foolish enough to return to this place if people are after him?" Scott stood up taller attempting to ignore the heavy sensation that carried over his body and focus on Logan fully. "Seems like the quickest way to get caught."

"Because like with every addiction it's hard to walk away. An addict always seeks out his next fix no matter what the cost," Logan mouthed spotting the woman he'd encountered in Bert's room a few days earlier. Standing up straighter, Logan rolled his shoulders back and took a step forward preparing to approach her. "I'll be back."

"Hey wait a second," Scott reached out for Logan's arm, "Shouldn't we devise a plan?"

"I'll talk, you sit back here for a while. Keep an eye out for Bert," Logan suggested with a small shrug.

"How about we both go back there together? That way I can…" Scott moved in beside him, preparing to follow when Logan stopped him.

"Stay here Scott. You look like you could take a moment to yourself," Logan suggested with a hesitation in his tone.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Scott scowled up at him.

"Nothing it's just…" Logan paused seeing annoyance behind Scott's eyes. "You know what Bert looks like now. With you in here and my talking to her, we'll have everything covered."

"No way," Scott argued stubbornly while puffing out his chest. "If we do this, we're going to do this as a team. We go in there and chat with her together."

"Tag teaming her is only going to make her nervous. You don't exactly look like the comfortable type especially now that you're as white as a ghost," Logan nodded motioning over Scott's shoulder. "Just take a seat and relax Scott."

"I don't want to relax Logan. I'm fine," Scott curled his lip stubbornly, "and besides we already discussed that I'm the one calling the shots on this one Logan. I say we go back together…"

"Scott, I realize that you rather relish your position of authority, but right now if we're going to get anywhere, you have to trust my instincts and…" Logan opened his mouth up in protest only to receive another scowl from Scott.

"I look more approachable than you do. With this face people trust and open up to me," Scott reasoned pausing just enough to take in a calming breath, "besides with my new powers if she doesn't offer up an answer I could always try to read her mind and…"

"No," Logan shook his head firmly, "we're not going there Scott especially after what just happened a few minutes ago. You look like you need a time out before you start poking around in anyone else's mind for a while. Look I'll get answers from her. Trust me. Go over by the bar. Get a drink and relax. You said it yourself that you were feeling shaken up after looking into my mind."

"I never said that," Scott curled his lip stubbornly.

"You didn't have to. It's written all over your face," Logan met his eyes in a silent warning, "Just go wait at the bar. I'll be right back."

"No," Scott protested with a firm shake of his head, "not going to happen. I blend better then you think I can. Pale or not I have a welcoming face and…."

"It's not your face I'm worried about," Logan couldn't help, but frown in knowing they were wasting time with one another, "once you start talking people get a sense about you and…"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Scott placed his hands on his hips impatiently.

"You're pretty clean cut and completely out of your element here. In case you haven't noticed this isn't a hangout for accountants or teachers Scott. The clientele here leaves a lot to be desired," Logan informed him pointedly drawing Scott's attention to the table of leather clad men across the club that were being loud and causing a raucous with one another, "You don't look like them."

"I wouldn't want to," Scott muttered under his breath.

"Even so if you're not like them," Logan's focus returned to Scott's stubborn blue eyes once again, "then there's only one alternative to the dancers who work here."

"That my insubordinate, impulsive lover decided to bring me in here to chase a lead that may or may not pan out with his prodding?" Scott arched a doubtful brow.

"Everything about you simply reads cop. She's not going to open up to a cop about one of her clients," Logan finally revealed to Scott.

"But I'm not a cop," Scott argued with him.

"I know that, but she won't. Trust me Scott, she's not going to want to tell you anything in this environment," Logan informed him with an uneasy breath. "Let me handle this."

"Logan…" Scott grumbled impatiently, "you know as well as I do that I'm good at this type of thing and…"

"No you don't blend Scott," Logan insisted with a huff.

"No more than you do," Scott piped in with the beginnings of a pout, "I can blend."

"You look like you're out of your element here. If she didn't think you were a cop, she'd think you were one of those eager, uneasy guys that his buddies brought him here the night before his wedding for one last thrill with a paid professional," Logan shot him a small glare in seeing the stubborn determination behind Scott's eyes.

"Yeah, well it's a little too late for that now isn't it considering my significant other dragged me in here to help him question someone, but when push comes to shove he's trying to pull rank that he doesn't officially have by the way and make excuses for why he doesn't want me involved with…" Scott continued to protest impatiently.

"Scott, I'm not doubting your abilities to get the job done because you've made a life of doing just that, but you don't at all look like the kind of guy who is here to get down and dirty. After a few seconds of talking to you, she'll be suspicious convinced you're a cop. You'll try not to come off that way, but it'll happen and she'll shut us down. I know you can't help your approach," Logan gave him a long once over. Again taking a moment to appreciate Scott's preppy attire Logan couldn't help, but feel his amusement burning inside of him. While it was anything, but fitting in the strip club, it served at making Scott look even younger as if he'd stepped out of prep school ready to take his first big leap into the adult world. Then again the more Logan looked at Scott, the more his thoughts traveled away from what he needed to do with the idea of the naughty school teacher Scott could turn into with a little prodding. "Please just trust me to handle this one."

"Logan," Scott huffed again, causing Logan to return to the moment, to remember his purpose in stopping by at the club.

"Just stay here. I already have this one covered," Logan waved his hand dismissively before turning to leave.

"Yeah I'm sure you do," Scott frowned sarcastically feeling as if he'd just been shut out of their mission in spite of the shakiness in his stride. His body was still tingling with memory recall, thinking of the face they were seeking out in the crowd. Still not one to back down, Scott moved stubbornly to follow Logan continuing to protest Logan's suggestion.

"Don't be an ass. Just get a drink and with a little luck we'll be out of here in no time," Logan ordered giving Scott a warning glare before taking off after the dancer in question.

"Wonderful," Scott threw his hands up in the air, his frustrations mounting with each passing second, "now what?"

"Maybe I can help you with managing your time," a voice suggested as Scott turned around to see a pair of familiar eyes upon him. His jaw dropped, eyes widening with surprise when he felt a brush of fingertips against his shoulder. "Long time, isn't it Summers?"

xxxxx


	18. Chapter 18

Logan took in a breath knowing he was taking a risk, but still with the need for information overtaking his senses, he pushed the curtain aside and stepped into the back of the club. Looking around, he sought out the dancer he'd startled the other night hoping she could provide him with clues to where Bert had disappeared to. Even though it was a long shot, he was hoping it was worth taking a chance on. After a few seconds of searching, he heard her voice rising from one of the back rooms.

"If you could just sit down and relax…" she instructed, her voice approaching the door to the room she was in, preparing to lock it when Logan rushed forward pushing it open in a haste.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Logan smirked menacingly, his overwhelming presence surrounding the room that the dancer and her client were in. He snarled, causing the uneasy man to bounce up off of the chair, reaching for his suit jacket with a gulp.

"Never mind. Keep the money. I have…I have to go…" the man muttered worriedly, rushing out of the room and leaving Logan alone with the confused auburn haired woman before him.

"Look, I don't know who the hell you think you are, but…" the woman's dark, ruby colored lips curved downward in protest, preparing to lash out at Logan, but once she turned around to see him standing before her, her eyes widened in recognition. "You!"

"That's right," Logan closed the door behind him, allowing them to have a moment of privacy between them, "I'm glad you remember my face. It shows that we're off to a good start."

"What-what do you want?" she asked worriedly, her eyes shifting to focus on the door at the back of the room. Logan could see she was planning her exit, preparing to run out on him much like Bert had in their last encounter.

"Information," Logan explained in a casual breath. He reached into his pocket, pulling out some of the cash he'd lifted from Scott's wallet before their arrival, "information that I believe only you can help me with."

"What kind of information?" her eyes greedily fell to the bills that Logan set down on the chair her client had previously occupied.

"The kind that will keep me away from here on out if it pans out for us," Logan explained knowing it was a long shot, but given what was riding on the future, he knew it was worth taking a chance.

xxxxx

"Blue suits you rather well Summers," Scott felt the white gloved hand reach out to touch the side of his face, fingertips tapering up off into his soft, dark hair, "but then again I always said it did."

"Emma, what are you doing here?" Scott couldn't help, but frown giving the curvy blonde before him a brief once over.

"A girl has to make a living somehow, doe she not?" she winked at him playfully. Her lips curved in wicked invitation, mouth widening when she leaned forward, sliding in closer to him, "Although considering that we're old friends I'm willing to take a break for a little while to catch up if you'd like."

"Actually I'm…" Scott's eyes surveyed the club, his nervousness growing in the moment at being spotted by her, "I'm with someone…"

"A friend?" Emma's amusement carried over her tone, "Kinky, well hey your friend can watch if you'd like. I'm sure they'd rather enjoy the two of us together when…"

"It's still not happening," Scott remarked pulling away from her. He stepped back shaking his head at the sight before him, "What are you doing here? This isn't you."

"Please don't give me a morality lesson Summers because I think we're both beyond reproach these days, don't you?" she wrinkled her nose at him, her blue eyes full of distain. "The mere fact that you're standing here tonight tells me a lot about your character considering that…"

"You're better than this," Scott looked around the club again, wondering what was taking Logan so long.

"So are you, yet here we are," Emma leaned forward, bringing her lips dangerously close to his ear, "After all this time reunited again…"

"What?" Scott tipped his head to the side, almost catching her mouth with the movement. He shuddered taking a step back, placing a deeper distance between them, "No…no of course not. Emma, I'm really here with someone…"

"Ah, well again let them watch. Male or female it's all the same to me," she scrutinized his features, eyeing him for a long moment before smiling knowingly, "Logan. You're here with Logan."

"That's right," Scott nodded firmly, "and I can't stand around making small talk. I need to find him and…"

"He's in the back," Emma finished for him. She smiled knowingly before adding a laugh, "rather enjoying himself with one of the dancers I might add. It looks like you might end up alone by the end of the night after all."

"You're lying," Scott frowned back at her, not at all impressed with her words.

"So maybe I am," she shrugged before leaning back against the bar beside her, "but it makes things more interesting, then telling you that he's just used your money to pay off someone for information."

"What?" Scott frowned reaching into his pocket.

"Take a look for yourself. I think you'll find your wallet is surprisingly lighter," she wiggled her brow unable to mask her amusement in the moment, "And here you thought you were getting smarter about things concerning him…"

"Son of a…" Scott started to curse under his breath, "no matter. Where in the back is he?"

"I could show you," she perked up enthusiastically. "You know give you the personal tour along the way and…"

"Never mind," Scott decided with a tight scowl. "I'll find him myself…"

"Scott," she reached out for his arm, fingers curling around his bicep desperately, "come on. You don't have to run away so fast. We can take the time to catch up and…"

"I don't have time for games Emma. Logan and I are…" Scott's words were brought to an abrupt halt when he felt an overwhelming sense of familiarity overtake him. Looking over Emma's shoulder, he spotted a flash of auburn colored hair and mesmerizing eyes across the bar. For an instant he could've sworn that he'd seen…

"Scott," Emma tugged at his arm again, hoping to recapture his attention, "what is it?"

"I have to go," Scott mouthed quickly, brushing past her to chase after the woman that now slipped out of the club. Quickening the pace, he sped up hoping to see if his mind was playing tricks on him now that he could've sworn he'd seen Jean. Although she'd been coming to him in his memory, this felt real, more concrete when he pushed open the back door to the club, stepping out into the nearly empty parking lot. The sun's blinding rays fell down upon him, causing his eyes to squint when a loud popping sound snapped from behind him. He turned around, preparing to seek out the source of the sound when he was met by a sharp, bolt of blinding white light. Hot and unyielding it tore into his skin, causing him to drop down to his knees in a moment of agony clenching his head with a desperate scream ripping from his mouth.

Scott closed his eyes, feeling a pressure increasing in his chest, worming through his mind until finally he felt himself surrounded by silence. He opened his eyes, realizing the light had faded replaced by a numbing darkness. Reaching out his hands Scott struggled to see, to make sense of the moment, but it was useless. He staggered to his feet, unable to avoid the shakiness that surrounded him. The smell of mildew and a foul, musty odor carried over his senses, causing him to shudder. He brought a hand up over his face, trying to hold back on his initial reaction to gag when footsteps sounded in the distance.

"Who's there?" Scott questioned twirling around to seek out the source of the sound. "Who are you?"

"I think you know Scott," a sinister voice taunted, reaching out through the blackness like a vise grip, twisting and tearing into Scott's chest. His head fell back in agony, mouth parting with the unrelenting pain that surrounded him. It was then that he felt the needles, the press of hands surrounding him, over him, tormenting him with their prodding. He was helpless, unable to move, forced to submit to their testing, to be their subject for experimentation when his eyes opened. Above him he could see himself surrounded by water, by a bright, blue tank, fluid pressing inside of him, deep up his nostrils and the pain…

"Logan," a voice inside of him realized, knowing that this image wasn't a moment of torture he'd endured in the past, but rather the hellish ordeal Logan had gone through at Stryker's sadistic abuse. He could feel primal screams tear at him, sharp, stabbing pain surrounding him, exploding within his body threatening to tear it apart from within when they injected him with adamantium. Scott choked, fighting to hold onto sanity, to keep it together in knowing it wasn't real. It couldn't be real. Somehow he'd found his way into Logan's mind, to channel himself into Logan's memory even though they hadn't been together. It was just something that would pass, would disappear if Scott focused enough. If he could only ignore the pain, look beyond the misery and…

Still in all of his attempts nothing changed. Scott's mouth burned from the liquid, body convulsed in the tank, unable to ignore the overwhelming pain in the moment. Although Logan was able to heal, to endure heavy levels of torment and abuse, Scott wasn't blessed with that power through the years. His own previous encounters with abuse had been locked out of his mind by Xavier to protect him because he hadn't been able to endure it. Even now with his new healing abilities, Scott knew he wasn't as strong as Logan when he found himself helpless, trapped, locked inside a memory that wasn't his-tortured and miserable until…

"Jean," he heard Logan's voice pull him from the memory, shifting Scott's surroundings to a place where it brought them back to the school, back to the lower levels in seeing Jean lay down on a table, lost inside of herself. Scott stepped forward, reaching out to her, seeing her helpless and hooked up to monitors. She looked just as she did when he'd last encountered her at the lake, pale and possessed in the moment, lost within herself.

"When we went searching for you and couldn't find you, I was so afraid…terrified that you were gone. I knew she held all the answers…" Scott could hear Logan's voice explaining to him somewhere in the back of his mind. Scott stepped away, placing a distance between himself and Jean before he sought out Logan. Remaining silent Scott continued watching the scene unfold before him when Logan came into view. He could see the way that Logan had pushed Jean for answers-could feel the frantic desperation building inside of Logan. It was an all consuming, maddening force when suddenly Scott felt himself pushed further inside of Logan's head, deep in his mind when Jean reached for him. He could taste her on his lips, feel her hunger surging through his body, coaxing him to surrender to give in, to forget about everything else beyond her. She was wild, frantic, her nails digging into Logan's flesh tearing it from his body. Scott groaned realizing something had changed. He was no longer watching the memory as an observer, he was inside of it, inadvertently trapped in Logan's mind and body when he should've been back at the club awaiting Logan's return. Instead he was held captive inside a twisted memory, having Jean reach for him possessively. She tore at his skin, pushing herself into his mind, guiding his actions until finally…

In the memory Logan pulled away, taking Scott with him. Scott could feel hands that weren't his own reaching into his back pants pocket for the same glasses Scott had worn in his retreat. He held them up in the air, trying to pull Jean outside of herself, but she refused. She couldn't give the answers Logan needed, couldn't satisfy the moment until finally the glasses exploded in his hand.

"No," Scott could feel a voice inside Logan's head cry out in anguish, fear consuming him in the moment. It was as if he'd been haunted by Logan's encounter, dragged down into experiencing a horrible, all consuming grief before Jean flung him across the room. Scott groaned reliving the moment as Logan and impacting with the wall. He closed his eyes hearing Jean's footsteps approaching, moving beyond where he lay helpless.

"Logan?" Scott questioned from the ground, unable to pull himself up in the moment. He could sense Jean's presence, feel her paralyzing him, keeping him trapped in the memory with her mind reaching into his with an unwelcome push.

"Did you really think you could continue on like this without me knowing Scott? Do you like what you see?" she snarled, her words invading his head with a stabbing sensation pulling at his brain. "Do you have any idea what kind of man you've invited into your life? What he's capable of?"

"Stop it," Scott breathed heavily, finding the strength to pull together the syllables with her hovering over him.

"Logan's a monster Scott. I've only shown you a glimpse of his miserable existence. You have only seen a taste of the pain and agony that surround him, but you don't know the half of it. Although given your wavering faith in him maybe it's time you do," she snapped bitterly, her voice dark and foreign, unlike the woman he'd fallen in love with all those years ago in their youth.

"Don't do this Jean," Scott mouthed painfully. Attempting to use his new powers to fight back, he concentrated doing his best to push her out of his mind, to keep her at bay as he'd done with Charles a few days earlier. He could feel her resistance, could sense her strength, yet as he began to raise his chin, he felt her stumble backwards, caught off guard by the force of Scott's resistance. He'd found a momentary reprieve, yet it only served to enrage her further when she regained her composure.

"You want to play with my powers to strengthen your relationship, do you Scott? Then let's play on my terms," she hissed venomously. Scott felt a force lifting himself up off of the ground, wrenching his head to the side in a painful fashion. He blinked reaching out for anything to hold onto, but the memory faded again returning to black. Scott could no longer sense Logan around him, could no longer feel the direction of the memory when Jean stepped forward, her eyes blackened with rage. She waved her hand sending him to the ground, crashing down in a huddled heap of twisted limbs and gnarled muscle at her feet. Kneeling down before Scott she scraped her nails across the side of his face drawing blood, "This isn't the end for us Scott. If you think you can just walk away without consequence…if you think you can keep focusing on everything else and ignore me like this, you're wrong."

"Jean, why are you doing this?" Scott questioned feeling her fingers sliding up into his hair, twisting tightly. His neck snapped upward, wrenched back in a painful position when fire surrounded her, bringing a raw, untamed heat surrounding them, engulfing them in the flames together.

"What I gave you, I can just as soon take it away," Jean's words haunted him, echoing in his mind when she dipped down, lips hovering over Scott's. The movement took Scott back to the lake, back to her arms surrounding him. He could hear her whispers of assurances, feel her mouth gravitating towards him intending to claim a kiss, begging for him to surrender when a montage of blood and memories poured over him, showing him torturous encounters, blinding fury, agony and passion rolled into one, endless, violent display. Horror shook over Scott's body, his mind on overload when her lips pushed forward, sliding in against his roughly threatening to tear him to pieces all over again. He fought against her, straining to retreat in feeling his skin bubbling over the surface.

"You're still mine Scott. We aren't over as long as I'm still inside of you," Jean's words echoed through his mind, her voice menacing and taunting when she released him, throwing him to the ground again, "you'll never be free."

"No!" Scott shouted hoping someone could hear him now that he was forced to endure another endless string of violent memories trapped somewhere between his and Logan's mind outside of himself, shut out from any rational memory, being forced to relive the horrors all over again. Shaking he felt Jean's kiss was upon him again, her mouth stealing his life force from him, pulling him into darkness, ripping away all of his powers until finally…

"Where are we?" Scott heard himself question when the scene changed, returning to the horrible room with the hammer, the bloodied knives and that damned chair his subconscious wouldn't allow him to forget. There were screams, pain, agony and more misery then Scott could bear. There was so much blood everywhere…on the floor, surrounding him, covering his hands taking him back to that unspeakable moment when Scott forced himself to turn away. He fell from the memory, hands scraping at the pavement, unable to suck in air fast enough. He crawled across the ground, fighting to flee from the memory, to banish the repulsion and terror when invisible hands reached for him, tearing and scratching now that he was surrounded by madness unable to find an escape.

xxxxx

"And you tell that cheapskate when you find him that he owes me. Don't think I forgot about the tab he's been running around here and…" the dancer continued to vent, giving Logan more than an earful when he watched her tuck Scott's money into the front of her red, lacy lingerie. "If he thinks he can screw me out of what's rightfully mine…"

"I'm sure he'll give you what you deserve," Logan mouthed sourly, having gotten as much information as he needed from the woman. He found himself on the verge of a headache, ready to share the tidbit of information with Scott that he'd uncovered when he heard the sound of curious voices rising from the back of the hallway he was in. Walking out of the room, he spotted a group of dancers huddled around a window, each peering out of it with interest before whispering to each other.

"Look at that whacko," a chortling howl carried over the hallway, "He's completely blitzed out of his mind."

"What is he doing?" one of the women questioned.

"I don't know, but a few minutes ago when I walked in he was screaming at a car-talking to it like it was having a conversation with him," a brunette dancer explained, "I figured I'd just as soon hurry the hell inside before he started getting upset with me."

"It looks like he just put his fist through a car window," another voice carried over Logan's ears. "Buddy's going to be so pissed. I think that might be his new Jeep."

"That guy's crazy," another quipped with laughter, "Clearly he saw more than he was ready for inside here. Maybe he got a little touchy feely and was escorted out before he could get what he paid for."

"That pisses most of them off," another mouthed knowingly. "Puts them in a bad place."

"Nah, I think he drank too much I'd guess," another dancer noted with amusement when Logan started to turn away, finding himself increasingly disinterested by the conversation, "though I've never seen someone take a fist through glass like that without being high on something…."

"Oh he's high something alright. He kept shouting for Jean, saying her name over and over like she was the biggest mistake of his life. It was creepy the way he was screaming," the woman from the parking lot admitted stepping in closer to the window.

"Do we have a dancer named Jean here?" a blonde questioned.

"I don't think so, but if we do, we need to tell her not to get them that excited because this one is really a.." a screechy voice added preparing to toss out another joke when there was a loud, booming sound that rocked the club, sending the foundation shaking.

"What was that?" the second woman asked when glass shattered before them.

"He just…he just did something to make that car explode," the first woman announced in a panic, "I didn't see a gun, but there was this red glow around his face and…"

"Scott," Logan breathed feeling his heart stop when realized who the dancers were talking about. Rushing to the club's back exit, he wasn't quite sure what to expect, but suddenly he found himself wishing like hell that he hadn't left Scott alone in the bar. Something was wrong and in pushing his way outside only to discover an SUV engulfed in flames before him, burning at the aftermath of having the engine torn apart with the unyielding force Scott was capable of. There were power lines down on the ground, sparking and bouncing in protest to their violent upheaval. Beyond the crackling sound Logan found himself struck with a new sense of nervousness. Surveying the parking lot between the smoke and the haze, Logan found himself fearing the worst, wondering if Victor had arrived. "Scott!"

Another loud sound pushed through the day, cutting the smoke like a knife with red blasts when Logan watched another parked car skid across the lot effortlessly, rolling with such force that it sent down another light post in the process causing sparks to pop and bounce in the air in time with the already broken power lines. Weaving forward through the maze of livewires and popping electricity at his feet Logan felt his pulse quickening, his claws revealing themselves in an attempt to step up and help Scott fight whomever was attacking him. However, when Logan made his way through the smoke, he discovered Scott standing alone, hands shaking, mouth opening and closing desperately with a pained expression on his face. His head was tipped down, body trembling when Logan moved forward sensing the only danger in the moment was Scott himself now that it was clear something had shaken him up. Scott dropped down to the concrete, his shirt covered in blood that Logan suspected was his own. His hands were balled into tight fists, fingers driving into his hands and causing blood to pour down to the pavement, in thick heavy drops before him.

"Scott!" Logan shouted hoping to pull Scott from the torturous moment.

"Make it stop!" Scott screamed, his voice cracked and shrill when his hands clasped over his head. "Stop it!"

"Scott!" Logan watched Scott spring up off of the pavement with surprising speed, rushing out of the parking lot into the open field beyond the club in a moment of panic.

"Damn it," Logan frowned chasing after Scott, hoping to stop him from leaving, to avoid him hurting himself any further, but before Logan knew it the smoke engulfed him, stealing Scott from his line of vision. With a curse under his breath, Logan kept pushing forward following Scott's scent through the field, headed towards the water near the back of the property Logan had noticed on the drive in. He could clearly remember the rocks and the jagged ledge. Sensing the rapid pulsating of waters crashing in his ears, Logan hoped and prayed Scott wouldn't take a nosedive into it when Logan rushed forward determined to seek out his lover.

"Scott!" Logan shouted, hoping to discover Scott, to prevent him from causing any more damage to himself or anyone else in the moment of madness. Thinking of the wreckage in the parking lot, Logan knew full well that wasn't like Scott at all. He'd been in control for so very long, always cautious about what he could do with his powers, yet in witnessing their disastrous results first hand, Logan knew something was off. Remembering the glimpse he'd taken in of Scott's appearance, he wasn't completely convinced that Scott had entered into the situation unprovoked. Something was happening to Scott, taking him from serenity to madness. After a few seconds of searching, Logan could sense Scott, could see Scott standing on the sharp, dangerous rock ledge peering down to the rapids below, his body still shaking with fear over by the water, muttering to himself, trembling and possessed by something Logan couldn't quite read when Scott's head thrust back and upward. His mouth released a primal scream, fingers clenched into fists at his side when the crimson blast exploded from within, shooting up into the clear sky and bringing with it an earth shattering explosion. The sky lit up brighter, the clouds opening further when Scott continued to scream in agony. His knees were shaking until finally he dropped to the ground, spent with exhaustion.

"No," Logan mouthed horrified by the scene before him unfolding. Fearing the worst, Logan's heart hammered in his chest.

"Scott, what did you do?" Logan charged forward, hearing the sounds of sirens in the distance, alerting him to the fact that trouble was about to follow. He crouched down to the ground, reaching out to roll Scott over, to discover Scott was still breathing in his state of unconsciousness. While Logan had wanted to awaken him, to discover the source of the outburst within Scott, Logan knew there was no time for that. Right now they needed to find a place to lay low. Regardless of what had inspired Scott's uncharacteristic outburst, Logan knew they were running out of time before the authorities arrived. Although the car was still parked outside of the club, Logan knew that now they wouldn't be able to go back for it. Instead they would have to travel on foot, to find a place to retreat to until everything sorted itself out. Scooping Scott up into his arms, Logan held him against his chest hoping like hell whatever had happened wouldn't wind up causing them anymore trouble then what they were in. Tipping his head down, Logan could see the color was drained from Scott's face, his body limp and spent by his outburst when Logan took the first step towards finding means of escape for them if only for a little while.

xxxxx


	19. Chapter 19

"No!" Scott shouted, bolting up from the blankets, his body covered in a thin layer sweat now that he looked around the tiny, darkened room, trying to place where he was. Fear consumed him, his mind reeling with the horrors of the nightmare he experienced, but unlike where he'd been inside his dream he knew he wasn't drenched in blood. He hadn't been strapped to a chair fighting for his life and pleading for reprieve. Instead he was in a darkened room with thick, heavy drapes over the window across from him. His body ached, head throbbed and when he opened his eyes further he found himself met by the same deep, crimson colored world that he'd been surrounded by for most of his life. Reaching up to touch his cheek, he felt the press of his sleep goggles on his face, keeping him from viewing the world as he'd gotten used to it after the time he'd initially lost his powers. Instead he was trapped in the past, brought back to helplessness with a lack of control in his mind and body. He panicked, attempting to tear the goggles off of his face when he heard a voice call out to him.

"I wouldn't take those off just yet," Logan's voice roused him from the moment, causing him to seek out the source of the sound. After a few seconds of his eyes adjusting to the room behind the goggles, Scott spotted Logan seated in the far corner of the tiny room they were in. Logan's brows were creased and his worried eyes seemingly lost while set on Scott in the moment. It was clear by Logan's scowl and his posture that he'd been seated in the small chair beneath him most of the night.

"Where…where are we?" Scott questioned still holding onto the side of his glasses in an attempt to make sense of what was happening. He pondered taking them off, knowing that he didn't want them anymore, yet in listening to Logan's warning, he relented sinking back into the pillows all the while wondering if things had changed again, "What's happening?"

"I was hoping you could tell me," Logan replied standing up and approaching the bed cautiously.

Scott raised his head up for a moment taking note of Logan's hesitant stride towards the bed. Beyond where Logan stood, Scott noticed a round table beside where Logan had been previously seated. It was covered with various, discarded junk food packages, a pizza box and an empty case of beer indicating that Logan had been there restlessly for quite some time. There were cards tossed across the table sloppily with no real pattern to them, scattered and uneasy much like Logan seemed to be.

"I…I don't know Logan," Scott groaned closing his eyes again, "Where are we?"

"We're in a hotel not far from your place in Ohio," Logan explained rubbing his palms together in a slow press. A moment later he sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching out to touch the side of Scott's face, "You've been out of consciousness for almost two days now Scott."

"Two days?" Scott repeated turning his face to the side, seeking out the truth behind Logan's eyes, "How?"

"I was hoping you could tell me," Logan replied with an uneasiness in his breath. His worried brow creased, eyes filled with the inevitable concern that Scott realized must've guided Logan to where they were in the moment with one another, "do you remember anything before waking up?"

"We got married," Scott blurted out, raising his chin up just enough to see something pass behind Logan's eyes. Scott's face grew hot with uneasiness wondering if he'd imagined it. Clearing his throat, he spoke up again with an uncertainty in his tone, "right?"

"Yeah, we sure did," Logan nodded offering up a small smile before smoothing his fingers through Scott's tousled hair. Gently brushing his thumb across Scott's forehead, Logan couldn't help, but offer up a sigh, "That the last thing you remember?"

"I…I don't know," Scott paused sensing something was off with Logan. Shifting underneath the blanket, Scott brought his hand up over Logan's wrist, "Logan, where are we?"

"I already told you at a hotel outside of…" Logan replied in a neutral tone, his voice giving away nothing more of their surroundings.

"Why are we at a hotel?" Scott couldn't help, but ask with heavy exhaustion and confusion in his tone. "I thought that we were seeking out Victor. We decided to go back to the house and…"

"That's right," Logan nodded encouragingly, "What else can you remember about what happened?"

"I don't know," Scott shrugged his shoulders, "we had the ceremony, went on the road and made a stop to follow a lead I guess."

"We did," Logan added sliding his palm down over the side of Scott's face leisurely, "and after we arrived at that club…"

"Club…" Scott repeated struggling to remember where they'd been. He kept his eyes closed tightly, thoughts coming to him in short, blips of images before he gasped, "A strip club. We went to a strip club to check in on a janitor you felt could help us locate Victor. You were speaking with a dancer…"

"That's right and I asked you to wait for me at the bar. You were supposed to get a drink and relax while I talked with her," Logan's fingers traveled back into Scott's hair, their movement massaging his scalp while his eyes searched Scott's features full of concern, "What happened Scott while you were waiting for me?"

"I don't…I don't know…" Scott admitted taking in a breath. Closing his eyes he struggled to recall the events leading up to where they were together. He could clearly see the club, remembered how uncomfortable he'd felt in being there with the dancers around him. He'd asked Logan to allow him to take part in the interrogation, but Logan had refused. "I remember going inside with you, arguing with you about what our next move would be, then waiting for you to return and after…"

"What?" Logan pressed further when Scott's jaw clenched again, tension coiling through his body. "What was it Scott?"

"Fire," Scott breathed heavily, his voice ragged when an internal heat built up inside of him, pulling forth the memory that his subconscious had tried to keep him away from for the past couple of days. "There was a flame engulfing me and…"

"Flame?" Logan repeated worriedly, seeing Scott shiver at the memory.

"Jean was there," Scott explained shakily struggling to piece together what had taken place leading up to the time he'd lost. He raised his hand to his face half expecting to feel scratches upon his cheek, but instead he was met by the smoothness of his skin leaving no trace of physical evidence to support the faint beginnings of memory that overtook him. Still struggling to pull the pieces together, he continued speaking to Logan, "I saw her in the club lurking in the shadows. I wasn't sure at first if I'd imagined it or not, but when I saw her face I knew. I felt her Logan and then I went outside after her-hoping to see if it was real this time. I wanted to catch her before she disappeared again, to talk to her and…"

"To Jean?" Logan asked worriedly reaching for Scott's hand encouragingly. When Scott remained silent, Logan squeezed his fingers again supportively, "What happened?"

"I don't know," Scott's lip quivered in the moment, realizing that he'd lost the memory. Raising his chin up, he tried to collect himself, to pull together the answers to provide Logan with, but he found himself at a loss. There were no words, no explanations and no sense of peace or contentment in trying to pull forth the memory when everything was a haze. "I know she was there Logan. I couldn't have imagined it. She felt so real, yet…"

"Scott?" Logan spoke his name again in a worried tone.

"I saw her Logan and then I…I don't remember," Scott began in a panic, reaching up again to the glasses on his face, "but something tells me that I don't want to. Logan, what do you think happened? What did you see?"

"I honestly don't know," Logan divulged taking in a slow breath. Scott tipped his head up again seeing Logan's jaw was flexed with tension, his eyes avoiding Scott's question when he looked beyond the bed to the drape covered window, "but fortunately they don't have any major surveillance cameras at that place considering the last thing we want to be right now is on the local authorities radar for what took place."

"On their radar?" Scott shuffled across the bed, ripping the blankets away from his body in a panic, "God, Logan what happened? What did I do? Did I lose control? Is that why I'm in the goggles? Have I hurt someone?"

"No," Logan assured him with a small breath, "aside from a few power lines, a couple of cars and an ill placed light post that was really in need of replacing, everyone came out of the situation unscathed…other than you that is. You were the biggest casualty of what was happening."

"I lost control again, didn't I? I couldn't hold onto it," Scott realized somberly in Logan's words. He lowered his head in shame, thinking of the visor he wore. For years it had served as a shield to protect the world around him from the chaos he could create, but now in hearing Logan speak of what had happened, it felt like a life sentence for a crime-an eternal punishment for his actions that would forever haunt him, "I did something horrible, didn't I? There's something you aren't telling me Logan."

"You were terrified Scott," Logan curled his thick fingers underneath Scott's chin forcing him to look at Logan again through the goggles, "you were begging me to end it-to make someone stop what they were doing to you. Was it Jean?"

"I…I don't know… I felt her there. I really thought that…" Scott confessed in a quiet voice, his mind struggling to recall how he'd gone from following out his perception of Jean into the parking lot to ending up in a hotel room having lost nearly two days of his life. "Logan, I can't remember. I can't…"

"It's okay," Logan assured him, sliding onto the bed with Scott in an attempt to comfort him. Wrapping his arms around Scott's trembling body, he cradled Scott in his arms, "everything is going to be alright?"

"How? How can it be alright when I lost control? I can't even remember what I've done Logan, but if I need these, then I know it's bad," Scott broke into tiny sobs behind his goggles, overtaken by an invisible guilt, "I thought that I was in control. I really truly believed that I could keep it in check, that I wouldn't allow myself to explode…"

"Scott, given the circumstances I don't think you were entirely yourself at the time. There was this invisible force surrounding you," Logan hesitated, his voice distanced in the moment. "You weren't there mentally when I found you. You were somewhere else and…"

"And what?" Scott couldn't help, but ask.

"Right before you passed out it was as if someone else was forcing your hand, pushing your powers to reveal themselves," Logan confessed thinking to Scott's collapse into the ground. "It felt as if you were fighting it, trying to hold back…"

"But I couldn't, could I?" Scott lowered his head shamefully. "I couldn't keep it inside of me and it could've hurt someone…"

"Scott, I don't know what happened back there, but I think it's a safe bet to say that it was beyond your control," Logan smoothed his fingers over the side of Scott's face again, hoping to pull Scott's attention back to him.

"Nothing should be beyond my control. I know better Logan. I've always kept that in check and it's kept people safe. I'm dangerous and if I'm not careful-not in complete control…" Scott's words tapered off, falling into the darkness that surrounded them in the hotel room, "people get hurt. People can die Logan."

"No one died Scott," Logan reminded him simply.

"But they could have. They could've lost a whole hell of a lot all because I wasn't careful. Damn it I was reckless and I haven't done that in years Logan," Scott mouthed unable to shake the worry that crept in over him, "I've fought so hard to rise above it. I know what I'm capable of, what kind of damage I can create, so I've been careful. Up until I lost my powers I was overly cautious-I'd kept everything in check, but when they returned I became careless and stupid. I should've known that I'm not capable of keeping tight reign upon them…"

"I swear to you that no one was hurt Scott," Logan promised running his fingers through Scott's hair in an attempt to soothe him. "That's what's important right now."

"But they could've been. I could've killed someone without realizing…" Scott stiffened in Logan's embrace refusing to accept comfort in the moment. "I've been thoughtless and selfish…"

"Scott no," Logan reached out for Scott again only to feel him pull away in retreat.

"I've been so arrogant, so full of myself lately in thinking that I've risen above it. I've believed that I wasn't broken anymore, that I could control it, but Logan if I did those things, then I can't be. If I can't even remember what happened, then who the hell am I kidding? I'm not anywhere closer to where I was before in controlling it. I'm still a prisoner to my weak mind and…" Scott started to condemn himself all over again. Staggering off of the bed, Scott placed a distance between them in an attempt to keep Logan from offering him the loving embrace Scott was certain he didn't deserve.

"No you aren't," Logan argued, rising to his feet again, "You are in control. Something happened out there Scott, it was as if someone else was controlling you, taking you outside of yourself. It wasn't you…"

"Of course it was me," Scott let out an ironic laugh knowing his arrogance had left him open for a slip up, "Who else destroyed everything?"

"It was only a couple of cars," Logan shrugged simply, his words unable to soothe Scott in the moment, "I'm sure a dancer can afford to replace it if it was theirs."

"Don't make a joke of this," Scott's words shot back at him icily, "This isn't a laughing matter."

"I never said it was Scott, but at the same time you need to relax," Logan warned him simply, "You shouldn't be upsetting yourself right now considering that…"

"That I almost blasted a town to shit. That's wonderful," Scott threw his hands up in the air, "I should feel so good about myself right now."

"Scott, you said before that you saw Jean. Did she say something to you that could've provoked this? Is it possible that she was there in your mind before you lost sight of what was happening?" Logan questioned hoping to prod Scott for more answers. "Is there anything that…?"

"She was inside of me," Scott finally gasped in realization when another flash of memory hit him. A nagging warmth spread out across his chest when he turned to face Logan fully, "I know I couldn't have imagined it because I felt her. She was there Logan. She was so angry. She threatened me and…"

"And what?" Logan watched Scott's face drop devoid of any and all color.

"She was showing me your memories, taking me through the torture you endured at Stryker's hand. I was in the tank living it out just as you had. I can remember the hurt, the fury, the agony, just wishing it would stop and then…" Scott choked up on his words, "there was so much pain. She was with me on Alkali lake, tearing me to pieces again, ripping away my powers and then…"

"What?" Logan questioned worriedly.

"Darkness," Scott breathed, closing his eyes behind his goggles. "I could feel every horrible thing I'd experienced returning to me, every awful memory of things I'd fought to suppress engulfing me. They were there surrounded by your pain, your misery and that of so many others that were tortured. Their faces, their pain surrounded me, taking me down, dragging me further into hell when…"

"Scott," Logan's voice attempted to coax Scott out of the moment.

Scott sank down onto the chair that Logan previously occupied. Bringing his hands over his head, Scott bellowed miserably, "Oh God. I let her do it again, didn't I? I let her steal my control away from me. I let her take me from the progress I've made. She saw my fears, emphasized them making me believe I was trapped inside of them all over again. She ripped my control away from me, reminding me that I'm no leader. I never have been. I'm weak…I'm…"

"No," Logan shook his head firmly, "you aren't weak."

"Yes I am," Scott bit down on his lower lip, fighting to suppress the frustration that carried over him, "I never had anything special about me. I've always been the one that Charles took pity upon. Everyone else had something special, something that could be used for good, but my power is destructive. It's not like the others…"

"Scott, don't do this," Logan frowned watching Scott squeeze his fingers into his thick, dark hair, twisting it tightly in his palms in an attempt to banish himself to the place in his mind where he wasn't worthy of a second chance.

"I fell into her trap again, let her show me just how dangerous I am to the world around me and now…" Scott spoke up weakly, the beginnings of a tear slipping past his cheek, unable to hide from his actions a moment longer.

"We're going to sort it out," Logan pushed off of the bed and crawled across the floor to kneel before Scott. He reached up, pushing his thumbs against the hollow of Scott's cheekbones, touching his warm, flushed features tenderly, "We're going to figure out what's happening and when we do we're going to fight it."

"Famous last words," Scott let out an ironic laugh in between broken sobs, "How can we fight when we don't know what we're dealing with? When I'm a man who can't control it?"

"It's not brain damage," Logan explained hoping to alleviate Scott's concerns. "I had Hank come down here and…"

"Hank knows?" Scott repeated with surprise raising his head up just enough to search Logan's features, "but I thought that we were in…"

"We are," Logan informed him with a quiet patience in his tone, "I didn't want to move you back to the house until I was sure you were ready, so we've been laying low at this place for now. I needed time to figure out what was happening, to call for help so that we would know where to start with one another. Once I knew you were alright, then I figured we'd go back to the house and..."

"But if you called Hank, then everyone at the school must know what I've done. They must have seen that I…" Scott's face grew a shade darker with panic and fear. If Charles learned of what Scott had done, there would be another round of disappointment, another reminder that Scott had failed him and everything that they'd stood for through the years together in an attempt to keep the peace within the mutant and human world. Scott's actions could've readily sparked a war, yet…

"I asked him to keep this between us," Logan explained hoping to alleviate Scott's concerns when Scott's mind continued to race with consequence. "Against his better judgment, he agreed given the circumstances he understood the nature of the situation. I filled him in on what's been happening with Jean and your powers lately. Granted you'd already spoken with him about what was happening, but I elaborated a bit more on the things you and I had discussed and kept between us. We need help Scott. We can't keep denying that anymore."

"I know," Scott mouthed somberly, feeling himself met with a heavy heart and a guilty conscience.

"We both trust Hank," Logan continued patiently, "He's been with us every step of the way thus far, so after I called him Hank stopped in and ran a few tests at a local clinic a friend of his has. We've been staying here at this hotel by the hospital until the results came back and…"

"And?" Scott questioned searching Logan's eyes through the thick, red glasses he was wearing.

"Everything that's come back so far is fine just like I said before. There are a couple more results we're waiting on in terms of blood work, but Hank believes those will produce the same results," Logan smoothed his fingers over the top of Scott's hand, sensing the chill that carried over his lover, "According to science there isn't any medical explanation for what's happened. Aside from Jean…"

"We aren't exactly the type of people that get normal results Logan," Scott sighed, drawing in a breath. "If I lost control…"

"It's because someone was forcing you to," Logan eased his fingers up into Scott's wavy, dark hair, "Deep inside you must realize that. With what you've told me about Jean, it only further leads me to believe that something else was happening Scott. If she's really inside of you, haunting you, then maybe there's something we've overlooked."

"Like what?" Scott couldn't help, but ask.

"Like something that we missed. I know that I put her down, but maybe it wasn't enough. Maybe there is a part of her that's still lingering, still haunting us that goes beyond just the memories of guilt that surround us," Logan hesitated, his words uncertain as he held onto Scott's face.

"Do you think she's…that she's still here?" Scott asked worriedly, his heart sinking in his chest. "Do you think that she could be alive?"

"I don't know," Logan admitted painfully, "but with whatever is happening, I know you can't condemn yourself for this Scott. This might've been a momentary setback, but I know you can control it still. I know that you haven't lost that ability even with the precautionary time we're taking. You're still able to keep it together…to guide your powers…"

"Yeah, to destruction," Scott couldn't help, but roll his eyes again, "Logan, I made a mess of everything."

"It's nothing that can't be cleaned up," Logan curled his finger underneath Scott's chin once again, in an attempt to pull a hint of relief from Scott.

"Tell it to the cars," Scott spat out with an air of sarcasm in his tone, unable to ignore what he'd done.

"Ah, it's no big deal," Logan shrugged his shoulders and offered up a teasing smirk, "I'm sure they all had great insurance policies on everything."

"Yeah, right," Scott groaned outwardly before sinking back further into the chair.

"Everything's going to be okay Scott," Logan promised rising up on his knees to kiss Scott tenderly, "We'll figure this out together."

"Together," Scott repeated with a weak smile, "Sure."

"I mean it," Logan coaxed him further.

"I know you do," Scott sighed wondering if he'd finally lost himself to madness. Although he hadn't been in fear of his powers for a while, now in suddenly losing control of them, he felt as if a whole new world of terrors were revealing themselves to him starting with Jean's lingering presence in his life.

xxxxx

There was a rustling sound with the storm outside, tapping on the glass of the hotel room window when Logan shifted beneath the blankets on the bed. He groaned slightly, feeling a weight on his arm suddenly reminding him that he was no longer alone. Opening his eyes he let out a breath in discovering Scott cuddled up into his chest, head pressed against the warm center of his body. In his sleep Scott was burning up, hotter than Logan had remembered him being earlier when Logan had been holding him. The press of Scott's glasses pushed into Logan's flesh creating a soft sting that served up as a mild irritation. Still in remembering what Scott had experienced in the parking lot at the club, Logan was more than willing to ignore the agitating pinch of the goggles in order to ensure Scott had peace in his slumber. Gently massaging his fingers over Scott's damp, sweat soaked t-shirt, Logan couldn't help, but constrict his hold upon Scott. He tipped his head to the side, watching Scott breathe, finally lost in a few moments of solace in his slumber. Leaning forward Logan pressed a kiss over the top of Scott's head before settling back into the pillows pondering all that had taken place since they'd left the school with one another.

 _"I'm not anywhere closer to where I was before in controlling it. I'm still a prisoner to my weak mind…"_ Scott's voice resonated through Logan's mind taking him back to Scott's awakening.

It was in that realization of what Scott had done that Scott had closed himself down, condemning himself for what he hadn't been able to control. Despite Logan's assurances Scott had torn himself to pieces, finding a whole new set of reasons to hate himself for circumstances that had fallen upon him. He'd been lost in a sea of self-loathing, miserable and broken by what had taken place outside of the club. It was something that Logan knew would be hard to take, but in having watched Scott systematically shut himself down, it concerned Logan, reminding him all over again of a time when Scott had spiraled out of control, pushing Logan away.

Closing his eyes again Logan thought back to the time after Jean had died, remembering only too well how inconsolable Scott had been. Logan had struggled, had tried to encourage Scott to move on, to push forward in their lives together, but Scott had been resistant, fighting Logan every step of the way in letting go. He hadn't been ready to stop hating himself and even now Logan knew Scott was far from reaching that point. Back then Scott was in desperate need of help, but Logan had dismissed it, hoping instead to keep the problem between them, to do what was needed to coax Scott through the grieving process. For a while it had appeared to work. It had brought them to a place where they were free to explore their feelings for one another, to move beyond what chaos had lingered over their earlier flirtations and physical involvement. Their relationship had intensified, deepened into something beyond physical attraction, yet when the first signs of a problem were there, Logan had tried to write it off as Scott's inability to let go of his self-loathing.

 _"She's gone Scott, but I'm still here. We're both still very much alive,"_ Logan had argued that morning before Scott disappeared when Scott refused to pull himself out of bed.

Logan could remember the way that Scott had ignored him, simply rolled over beneath the blankets, turning his back to Logan when he'd been consumed by what Logan had perceived as grief. Scott had been wrapped up in nightmares the night before, growing increasingly agitated by them when Logan had tried to coax him through what was happening. The intensity of Scott's night terrors had expanded, pulling him out of the world that surrounded him until Scott and Logan's big blow out that morning. When Logan had stomped off in need of air, he hadn't anticipated that he would be asked to step in for Scott in the Danger Room. He hadn't anticipated the fight that had followed, the exchange of words between them that had lead to Scott walking out of Logan's life. That day hadn't felt like the end when it happened, but with Scott now in his arms in the present, Logan looked to the rings on their fingers, uniting them at long last. It was everything that Logan could've hoped for, yet in Scott's silent suffering, Logan couldn't help, but find himself wrapped up in another place and time, remembering that moment that it dawned in on him that he'd believed Scott would never be coming back.

_"Logan we need to talk," Storm called out to him, struggling to get in the conversation that Logan had been hoping to avoid for weeks. Yes, everything had started to slow down around the school, shifting back to a state of normalcy, but deep down Logan knew things weren't right. They couldn't ever be right again without the people he cared about in his life. "Logan!"_

_"Not now," Logan responded gruffly, feeling her rush forward, curling her fingers around his bicep, hoping to prevent him from walking away, but he was stronger. He'd known that and could easily push her away, but instead he hesitated stiffening beneath her touch._

_"We need to talk," she insisted with a firmness, her worry intermingling with her professionalism in the moment, "You can't keep avoiding this conversation forever."_

_"I'm not avoiding anything," Logan finally spoke up turning around to face her fully, his eyes revealing nothing about the loss that overwhelmed him, "I've done everything you've asked of me. I've been helping the children, doing my best to provide with what I can. I know I'm not what they really need, but…"_

_"You've been wonderful with the children," Storm replied sympathetically, "so much so that I know I would've been lost without you. You've helped me in so many ways Logan, but right now we know this isn't about them. This is about you, about the things you've been avoiding in helping me. I know you've been good to us here, but you can't lock it out of your mind forever. Sooner or later you're going to need someone to talk with-someone who understands."_

_"Understanding it won't change anything," Logan replied stiffly, puffing his chest out and standing up taller, "It won't bring any of them back."_

_"Maybe not, but shutting their memories out of our lives isn't the answer either. We can't pretend that they weren't here, that they didn't influence who we are," she searched his eyes again, hoping to pull emotion out from within. "Logan, I know how you felt about things. I saw how you were over what happened to Jean and Scott…"_

_"You don't know the half of it," Logan had revealed feeling the beginnings of heartache overtake him._

_"Only because you won't let me in. Talk to me," Storm had pleaded with him, "I lost them as well. They were my friends and I understand…"_

_"He was my world," Logan finally divulged in spite of himself, unable to hold back on the harsh realization that hung over him each and every day without Scott in his life, "Without him there's nothing to hold onto any longer not even here."_

_"Logan," Storm began when he pulled away, turning his back to her and marching into his room to escape the truth, to keep her from understanding, from knowing completely that he'd fallen to pieces. Slamming the bedroom door shut behind him, he tried not to focus on the pain, tried not to allow the tears to reveal themselves. He'd been so strong, so distanced in putting everything into rebuilding the school. It had allowed him to be buried in distraction, to forget how his selfish nature had brought him to a mate, to someone he'd never anticipated losing. He'd sworn to himself that Scott wouldn't get to him, that he wouldn't allow things to move beyond the want and the desire, but now with Scott no longer a part of his life, he knew it hadn't been that way in quite some time. Love was never supposed to be a part of the chase, of the reckless desire that consumed him, but as Logan turned his attention to the single, black turtleneck shirt still hanging in the open closet, he couldn't help, but find himself consumed with the harsh weight of the truth that surrounded him._

_Stepping forward Logan found himself defenseless, unable to hold back on the emotion he vowed to never reveal to the world around him. He was the mighty Wolverine after all. He was the one who would remain strong, who was incapable of pain, well beyond the kind of hurt that plagued everyone else. His healing abilities rivaled those around him. That's what they all saw, but what they couldn't see-what they would never know is that his heart hadn't been immune to the pain. Reaching for the soft fabric of the turtleneck shirt that Logan had teased Scott about more times then he'd cared to admit, he tore it from the hanger, bringing it in closer to his face. Scott's scent carried over it, consuming Logan, causing him to squeeze it in closer, hoping that it would carry with it any lingering remains of Scott that Logan could cling to. Each day Scott's scent was fading, falling more and more out of his reach, but Logan refused to let go. He couldn't stop wanting Scott, needing him even when reality had played a cruel twist in stealing him away._

_"Damn you Summers," he'd mouthed, his words muted by the fabric that he pushed his face into knowing that it wouldn't be enough. It could never be enough because it wasn't Scott. The turtleneck shirt couldn't compare to the warm body that Logan had cherished in bed beside him each night, to the smile that had swelled up Logan's senses, causing that unmistakable sensation in his heart that no other could replicate. Thinking to the way that Scott's nose wrinkled when he was disgusted with Logan, or to the soft sighs that erupted from within when they were making love, to the way that Scott responded to every kiss, every touch, every sweet promise of forever that Logan revealed to him alone, Logan knew nothing could ever take the place of that. Nothing could ever make him feel alive again. Not without Scott. Not without his Scott._

_"Why did you have to leave like that?" Logan choked up on his emotions, falling back to sit on the edge of their bed before rethinking it and dropping to the floor._

_He hadn't been able to sleep in the bed since Scott had disappeared. He'd tried, but it was too much. In all that time when Logan couldn't understand how something so insignificant could mean so much to Scott when he was grieving the loss of Jean, Logan now knew. He now understand how something as simple as a bed could provide him with haunting memories-could create an emptiness in his heart, holding him captive to a love he could never have again. The bed represented a place where Logan had been happy surrounded by love, wrapped up in emotions he'd vowed to never allow into his heart again. In the blankets wrapped up with Scott he'd found peace and solace, he'd found meaning in his life. Without him, Logan was lost, broken and miserable with the knowledge that he could never have all those things back. In Scott's absence the floor had been his punishment, his hard, cold consolation with a place to lay to rest in knowing that the bed carried with it the last traces of the man Logan should've fought harder to hold onto. If he surrounded himself in the blankets, took in the last traces of Scott in them as he did with the shirt against his face, then they too would fade away and Scott would be lost forever. There would be nothing left._

_Unable to hold back, Logan choked up on his emotions, feeling a raw, primitive sob building in the back of his throat, threatening to reveal itself to the world around him. It was unyielding, unrelenting in it's muted sound of anguish as he buried his face in Scott's shirt, closing his eyes tightly, but it did nothing to stop the tears. His heart was breaking, body denying him the mask he'd carried with him around everyone else. His misery consumed him, sobs overtaking logic and reason when he clenched onto the shirt, pressing it in against his damp skin knowing that it would never be enough._

_"Summers," he choked up on his words, tears burning at his cheeks, tearing the façade that Logan had worked so hard to provide for the world around him. They all believed him to be one thing, perceived him to be their strength, their pillar and hope for rebuilding a future, but he was far from what they needed. He was a liar and a coward for not fighting harder to save Scott. He was the key to his lover's undoing for not listening, for not seeing the signs sooner._

_Without Scott, all that was left of him was fading before Logan's very eyes. Logan knew there would never be a reprieve, never be anything, but darkness and lies that surrounded his life. He would go on pretending. He would let everyone around him believe he was fine, but for now, in the moment of knowing Scott was gone, he would simply lose himself to his mourning, drowning in his sorrows and grief with the only person who would ever see the truth in how far from being strong he truly was-himself._

Reopening his eyes Logan felt the warmth of Scott's ragged breath carry over his chest, enveloping him in the realization that now wasn't like it was back then. Unlike before Logan was with Scott, seeing the signs and wanting to do something about them. Unable to escape his thoughts, he called Hank, enlisted their friend's help in trying to save Scott.

"We can't keep hiding this forever Logan," Hank warned him of their precarious situation, "To truly give Scott the help and protection he needs, we're going to have to bring him back home again. Only here can we discover what's really going on with him."

"He doesn't want that Hank," Logan explained thinking of Scott's dive into misery over his actions, "not yet, not when the wounds are still so raw. He needs a little space."

"There's only so much I can keep to myself Logan. Eventually Charles is going to realize something isn't right. He'll feel it and then he's not going to wait around for permission to seek out Scott," Hank advised Logan, again in an attempt to appeal to reason once again.

"Just a few more days Hank," Logan half pleaded, "Give us a little time to deal with this-to come to terms with what's happening before we return."

Hank sighed over the phone disapprovingly, "That's asking a lot Logan."

"I realize that, but for Scott, right now I just think it's the best alternative," Logan whispered not wanting to awaken Scott from his sleep. Keeping his arm curled around Scott protectively, Logan thought of all the torment his lover had endured, "Just let me take him back to his house, let me give him a few days of normal before you resume in testing and everything else."

"With what you said about him seeing Jean…" Hank hesitated, uncertainty in his voice, "Logan, with what you told me…"

"She's gone," Logan paused thinking about the feelings that had surrounded both him and Scott in holding onto Jean's memory, "There's no way that she could be…"

"I was there with you when she died Logan," Hank added somberly, an unwelcome hint of hesitation in his tone, "I examined her body myself in the aftermath and…"

"Were we wrong?" Logan couldn't help, but question, his thoughts getting the best of him when he felt a small tremor pass through Scott. "Is it possible that we missed something? That she could still be…?"

"Logan, I'm well aware of being able to distinguish the difference between life and death," Hank's voice carried a hint of agitation at the insinuation, "I wouldn't have helped bury Jean if I hadn't been certain that…"

"Indulge me for a second," Logan glanced over at Scott once again, seeing his lips part in a soft rumble of an incoherent murmur. "Is it at all possible that we overlooked something? That somehow she could've returned against the odds like Scott and Chuck?"

"When Scott disappeared we never found him Logan. There was never a body and…" Hank pointed out simply, returning to their earlier conversations with one another.

"I watched Chuck explode to pieces before me Hank," Logan noted with a shudder, reflecting on Jean's chaos in the height of her madness. "I saw her tear him to pieces, yet there he is back at the school seemingly untouched by her madness."

"I don't have an explanation for that unless what you saw wasn't what was…" Hank began with a tired sigh spilling from his lips.

"I know what I saw. It was what happened," Logan turned his attention to Scott again, feeling a small shudder pass through Scott's lean, muscular frame, "She destroyed him Hank, but he's back. Maybe logically that's not possible-perhaps it's something that we may never be able to explain, but if it can happen, then who is to say that Jean couldn't do the same? What if my stabbing her simply suspended her in a state between life and death? What if she's been waiting like she did before…looking for the perfect time to strike back?"

"With Scott?" Hank questioned with another disbelieving breath, "Why? Why him?"

"Why did she single him out before?" Logan asked already knowing the truth in the answer when his gaze lingered upon the rings on his and Scott's fingers. "Look, let's just put it this way, if there's a possibility that Jean might be out there, that she could be the one who is causing this…"

"It's a long shot Logan," Hank mouthed skeptically before relenting, "but if you really think it's worth looking into…"

"You'll do it?" Logan questioned wondering if in knowing the truth it would bring about any peace for him or Scott. Either way the answer could carry with it heavy consequences for the future.

"I'm going to have a hell of a time trying to explain hows and whys in preparing to exhume her body especially considering that you don't want anyone to know about Scott," Hank answered gruffly, his voice hinting again at the urgency of Scott and Logan's return. "I can't keep quiet about things if we're going to do this. I'm going to need to tell Charles everything because without him in on this…"

"Fine," Logan conceded, "just give me a few days. Scott needs it Hank and maybe on some level I do too. We just haven't had anything simple for a while. This is a time when we should be…well, we shouldn't be having to do this."

"Funny how life never gives you what you need when you want it the most," Hank let out an ironic laugh, "Speaking of which, congratulations by the way. I never said it earlier when I was there with you, but since you mentioned the wedding in between everything else I figured that it was the least I could offer right now even if I wasn't invited to take part in the festivities."

"Thanks. I mean that. Trust me Scott would've loved to have you and everyone there, but we were on a bit of a time crunch. It wasn't like we'd given it real planning," Logan admitted smoothing his fingers up into the damp edges of Scott's dark hair.

"I'm guessing the spur of the minute decision was yours, but for what it's worth I caught Marie looking through books on cake decorating earlier in passing. Given what you told me about her crashing the wedding, I get the feeling she's planning something big on your return," Hank couldn't help, but tease with a lightness in his voice, "You might be getting a party after all when you return."

"A party might be good for Scott. He could use a little break from the chaos for a while. Then again," Logan couldn't help, but feel a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth in knowing that despite the chaos he and Scott had one positive to look forward to with one another, "this wasn't exactly the kind of honeymoon I had planned for him."

"I realize that," Hank paused in a moment of contemplation, "which is why I'm going to give you a couple of days as a wedding gift to the both of you. However, if he shows any sign of a relapse Logan…"

"I'll personally deliver him back to the school kicking and screaming myself," Logan vowed keeping Scott wrapped up in his arms securely. "You have my word on that."

"Good luck Logan," Hank finally decided contented with Logan's answer, "and keep me updated."

"I will," Logan promised hanging up the phone and redirecting his attention to Scott once again. Gently massaging Scott's spine Logan thought about all they'd endured thus far, of all the things that lead them to where they were together in the moment, surrounded by a storm in the center of their run down hotel room with one another.

"Everything's going to be okay," Logan whispered soothingly when another tiny tremor carried over Scott in his sleep.

Yes, maybe Logan made the mistake in not taking Scott with him to speak with the dancer at the club, but he wouldn't be repeating any foolishness again anytime soon. Craning his neck to the side to get a better look at Scott, he watched Scott sleeping, seeing how angelic Scott's face looked even in his uneasy slumber. Scott was beautiful, perfect in so many ways, yet Scott had never seen it. Perhaps that had been part of the appeal, Logan realized knowing that Scott lacked the arrogance that most with his brains and looks could carry with them when they knew what they were capable of. Scott had never realized just how wonderful he was to the world around him. Maybe it was in part Jean's fault, maybe in some ways it was Logan's for not telling him enough, but now in remembering what it was like to be without him, Logan knew full well that everything he ever could've asked for was alive within the man in his arms, who was fighting for his sanity with each passing second.

"I know I failed you before, but I won't do it again Scott," Logan promised kissing the top of Scott's head. Wrapping his arm around Scott's body tighter than before, Logan squeezed Scott in closer, feeling the tension leave Scott's body when he snuggled in over Logan more completely. Smoothing his fingers over Scott's back, Logan thought to all the things they'd experienced both apart and with each other and he knew now that marriage hadn't been a mistake, but rather the answer to a lifelong road of endless, empty days filled with mistakes and heartbreak. Losing Scott once had damn near done Logan in, but now with them needing each other more than ever, Logan knew full well that he was truly where he belonged.

xxxxx


	20. Chapter 20

A loud, piercing, beeping sound surrounded Scott pulling him from his sleep when he sat up with a start. His eyes thoughtlessly snapped open, frantically searching his surroundings when the noise enveloped him, causing a panic to rise inside of his every synapse. He fully expected to discover himself in the hotel room, still with Logan hiding out until they heard back from Hank, but much to his surprise and relief he realized that he was in the master bedroom of his home in Ohio surrounded by his overpriced Egyptian cotton sheets and comfortable pillows. Sunlight filtered into the room and although Scott hadn't anticipated savoring it's warmth, hadn't expected to appreciate the soft light that spread across the floor like a welcoming glove in anything other than crimson, he was again surprised by the vast array of colors before him. There on display was every perfect hue and shade of the world around him unfiltered by his powers. Reaching up to touch his cheek, he realized his glasses were gone. His eyes were open and everything was fine. Life was normal again.

"But how?" Scott questioned turning to the side to discover his glasses and an envelope on the nightstand beside him. Stretching his arm out, he ignored the beeping sound that had awakened him, instead taking note of the neatly printed text on the envelope before him. Immediately he recognized Logan's writing when he collected the note in his fingers. The beeping stopped and Scott couldn't help, but smile when he pulled the paper out of the envelope.

"I told you so," Scott read aloud, shaking his head as he reached for his glasses, "Put the glasses away and meet me downstairs for breakfast."

Scott paused taking in the thick, foul, overwhelming aroma of something burning. Suddenly everything made sense. The beeping sound, the horrible smell, the house…it could only mean.

"Logan's in the kitchen," Scott deduced pushing the sheet off of his body and springing to his feet. Remembering the small fortune he'd put into renovating the kitchen when he'd stayed there before, worry crept in over him, fearing for the worst when the smoke alarm started to go off again.

"Damn it," Scott cursed racing out of the bedroom, sprinting down the stairs on surprisingly steady legs until he was finally down at the doorway of his oversized kitchen, seeing Logan standing by the smoking oven using a hot pad to divert the thick, black smoke away from the alarm. A second later Logan's frustration overtook him and he released his claws preparing to slice through the smoke detector in a rage.

"Don't you dare," Scott warned sharply, catching Logan off guard with his arrival. Logan lowered his hand, tipping his head to the side in discovering Scott watching him. Instinctively Scott rushed forward, moving over to inspect the damage, "What's going on?"

"I was making breakfast," Logan answered sheepishly, his face a bright red shade of frustration and embarrassment when Scott moved in to diffuse the situation. Scott pulled the hot pad away from Logan, turning the dial on the oven off before reaching inside to pull out the casserole dish that Logan had placed inside of it. Flames were rising over the top of the dish, charring it's contents beyond anything recognizable when Scott dashed over to the sink. He dropped the flaming dish inside, before reaching for the dials to turn on the water.

"More like trying to burn the house down," Scott couldn't help, but blurt out at the overwhelming scent of the sickening odor of the burnt food before him. He turned his head away, wrinkling his nose and groaning outwardly, "What were you thinking?"

"That you needed a day off and since you're always doting on me, well, I thought maybe it might be nice for me to do the same for you," Logan confessed sheepishly, his shoulders rolling back in an uneasy press.

"By burning down my kitchen?" Scott questioned finally reaching out to turn the water off once the fire had been extinguished. He spun around to face Logan fully with curious, blue eyes, "Was that the plan instead of using an alarm clock to wake me up?"

"Technically I know it's your kitchen, but since you and I are together now, well it kind of makes it mine now too and with cooking," Logan motioned to a book on the island countertop beyond where they stood, "I figured how hard could it be, right? Anyone can cook, right?"

"Apparently not everyone," Scott muttered under his breath, taking note of the face that the book Logan had been perusing was one of the French cuisine books Scott had picked up a while ago, "Logan, that's in French."

"Yeah, I sort of saw that once I started trying to read it," Logan nodded before letting out an ironic laugh, "and despite all the rumors everyone hears, not every Canadian is fluent in the language. I guess in that respect I'm kind of a disappointment to my country I would imagine."

"You can speak French," Scott wrinkled his nose at Logan's declaration, "I've seen you do it before quite a few times."

"Sure, speaking it's easy, but considering that I've assimilated to the culture here, well I'm out of practice in reading it since it's been a long time," Logan rolled his shoulders back and sighed, "I caught about every third word and figured I'd improvise. Thought it couldn't hurt to add my own twist to what I was making given the picture looked easy enough, ya know?"

"Did that include a hearty does of charbroiling beyond recognition in your special blend?" Scott opened his mouth to say something more, to find it in him to be angry, but instead laughter erupted from within, tearing him from his anger to a place where the sheer and utter ridiculous of the moment struck him. It was bad enough that there was still smoke in the kitchen, that the place would undoubtedly take days to really, truly air out completely, but to see Logan standing before him wearing the blue apron Scott had won as a second place consolation prize at a barbeque his old company had put on seemed to take away from the anger he was certain he should be feeling. There was a ridiculous slogan about kissing the flamin' hot chef that Scott had always hated, but he'd kept the apron regardless in the name of company morale and all that. Now with it tightly draped over Logan's tense, wide, muscular form, it looked even more ridiculous-even less like something Logan would wear on his worst day. In that moment Scott realized just how truly hideous it was and with Logan's flour covered cheek curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl, Scott couldn't help, but break into another round of laughter in spite of himself.

"It wasn't really that funny," Logan tipped his head to the side giving Scott another long look, "Scott?"

"Actually it kind of is," Scott fought to keep himself together, to refrain from allowing his laughter to get the best of him. Bringing his hand up to his face, he bit down on his cheeks hoping to pinch them together enough to get to the bottom of Logan's culinary attempt, "So I have to know, what prompted all of this?"

"I told you I was trying to give you some time off," Logan explained throwing his hands up in the air, "but obviously that didn't go as planned."

"So you were making me breakfast?" Scott glanced over his shoulder to the dried out, blackened dish inside of the sink, "What was it?"

"A sign that dining out at one of the local restaurants is probably where we're headed," Logan finally decided stepping forward to wrap his thick, powerful arms around Scott's slender form, drawing him into a tight embrace, "That is if it's alright with you."

"I'm certainly not going to be eating that," Scott admitted with the beginnings of a smirk, "but at the same time aside from the impending destruction of the house you were working on, I have to say I'm impressed."

"Now you're mocking me," Logan issued him a small glare.

"No," Scott couldn't help, but laugh, "I mean yes, maybe to some degree I thought about it, but given that you actually tried to make me breakfast I'm assuming that speaks volumes about your ability to be domesticated. Although next time you might want to start with something simple…you know in English."

"Cute," Logan groaned teasing his fingertips over Scott's side, digging into Scott's rib cage in a surprising, tickling tease.

"Hey," Scott squirmed beneath his touch, attempting to wiggle out of Logan's embrace with protest when Logan's lips came crashing down upon his mouth. A momentary sound escaped from Scott's parted lips, losing sight of whatever had been on his mind when he wrapped his arms around Logan's powerful shoulders. He offered himself to the kiss savoring the sweet intoxication of Logan pressing him back into the sink. Logan's hands dropped down to Scott's hips in a greedy press until Scott was met by the odor of the charred meal behind him once again. Pulling back Scott let out a small groan, before motioning to the door wall behind where they stood, "Let me make sure the oven is really off and then we'll go outside."

"What about breakfast?" Logan mouthed suggestively, leaning in for another attempt at a kiss.

"I'll grab some bowls and cereal," Scott decided with a small shrug sliding out of Logan's path, "then we can get back to you telling me how we ended up back at the house again because the last thing I distinctly remember is the hotel room."

"I think it's fairly obvious that we left the hotel while you were still sleeping," Logan replied watching Scott do as he said he would in collecting the bowls.

"I would've liked to have known when we were leaving," Scott explained before he double checked the oven, closing the door after the smoke had filtered out before turning to Logan.

"I didn't want to bother you, so I was careful not to wake you up. You were exhausted," Logan shrugged simply, "Plus I know how to handle the car and remembered where the house was, so I didn't see an issue with it."

"There wasn't an issue, but at the same time, I just didn't expect to wake up like I did today," Scott explained setting the bowls in Logan's hands before turning to grab a box of cereal and the milk that Logan had picked up on the way back to the house. "It was a bit disorientating."

"I'm sorry about that, but I knew you'd prefer being here to the hotel. We both would," Logan replied watching Scott carefully move around the kitchen.

"Even so…let's go outside. It stinks in here now," Scott instructed again, nodding towards the door wall once again. Walking past Logan, Scott could hear the sound of Logan's feet grudgingly following when he opened the door. Stepping outside Scott was met by the warmth of the sunlight, reminding him all over again about what a beautiful morning it was. Even with Logan's mishap in the kitchen, the backyard provided a more peaceful outlet for their time to talk with one another. Setting the cereal box and the milk down on top of the patio table top, Scott turned around to face Logan again, "Care to tell me why you thought it would be a good idea to take my goggles off without seeing if I was alright first in the waking hours?"

"I knew you were alright," Logan shrugged, tearing at the ties on the apron he'd been wearing. Clearly he had enough of it when his thick fingers attempted to tug at the charred fabric only to discover it was knotted tightly. "Damn it…"

"Don't you even think about slashing it," Scott warned watching Logan's hand raise in the air. "Come over here. I'll take it off."

"This thing is ridiculous," Logan shuffled over towards Scott, grudgingly accepting his help. Turning his back to Scott, Logan slumped his shoulders over in a pout, "It's really ugly."

"I couldn't agree more, but it was a prize in a contest," Scott carefully worked to remove the knot in the tie, "I keep it around for nostalgic reasons. I've honestly never put it on before, but I have to say after seeing you in it, I'm probably not ever going to try it either."

"Then to hell with not slashing it," Logan raised his hand up in the air again when Scott hadn't removed the knot fast enough.

"Patience Logan," Scott reached out to shove Logan's arm down at his side once again, "just give me a second and…got it…"

"Good," Logan tore at the fabric pulling it up over his head and discarding it over the railing on the deck. Spinning around to face Scott fully, he let out a small breath, "because I don't know what in the world made me think putting it on was a good idea."

"Today might not be your day for the best of ideas," Scott agreed with a slight nod, "starting with taking my goggles off without warning. Given the kind of wake up I had with the smoke alarm going off…"

"I knew you were in control of things Scott," Logan explained matter of fact, "I figured it was kind of like a band aid. If you leave it on and then try to tear it off slowly, it creates more agony. By leaving the goggles on you were more prone into believing you were no longer in control of yourself. I figured by taking them off of you, well, you'd see that you were still very much in control."

"Or I would've blasted the house down around me," Scott couldn't help, but frown at the thought. A tiny shudder carried over him at the notion of what he'd done back at the strip club.

"But you didn't," Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott's face, "You're still in control just like I said you would be."

"Even so that was a big risk to take. It was a huge gamble on our lives," Scott stiffened against Logan's touch when uneasiness pooled in the pit of his stomach, "especially after what I did before."

"Worst case scenario was that we had a sun roof," Logan answered as Scott turned away from him.

"I'm being serious Logan," Scott walked over to the table to pour cereal into their bowls.

"So am I Scott," Logan followed with a determined stride, "I knew we would have everything in check."

"Just like you did with the kitchen right?" Scott faced him again with heavy scrutiny behind his blue eyes.

"The kitchen was something I knew I was going to have trouble with going into it, but you," Logan reached for Scott's hand, taking it into his own oversized palm, "I've never had any doubts about you or your capabilities Scott."

"It was still a big risk to take on someone who did what I did," Scott chastised him further, "and with you making that kind of decision for me without giving me the opportunity to weigh out the consequences before…"

"I'm sorry," Logan conceded tilting his chin down ever so slightly, "you're right. I was out of line. I should've left the decision up to you."

"Yes you should have," Scott softened his tone before letting out a breath, "but it's nice to know that you still believe in me even when I don't have faith in myself."

"Everything's going to be fine Scott," Logan promised curling his fingers around Scott's hand more completely, "I know that whatever is happening will pass."

"Like it did before?" Scott questioned with an air of sadness in his voice. "Face it Logan. I'm losing my mind again only unlike before Jean's not there at the other side of it pulling my strings."

"We don't know that," Logan cleared his throat when Scott returned his attention to the cereal bowls before him. "Truth be told I've been thinking a lot about what you said to me. When you started talking about Jean being there at the strip club…"

"You said it yourself. It's not possible," Scott paused allowing the realization to linger over his senses, "You destroyed her when Phoenix took over."

"I had no choice, but to end it Scott," Logan answered pushing through Scott's thoughts, "at the time she was out of control and…"

"I know that," Scott dropped his head somberly, "but in knowing that, then tell me how this could be happening again? Before she was still alive and now…"

"I'm not sure she's really gone," Logan hesitated causing Scott to look over at him once again, "I talked to Hank last night when you and I were at the hotel. He's going to have Jean's body exhumed and…"

"Exhumed?" Scott repeated with a gasp, "As in…?"

"As in it will bring us closer to an answer with what's been going on," Logan divulged quietly, his words tentative and uncertain, "Given all that's happened with all of us over the last year, I think it's best if we cover all the bases and…"

"You mean he's going to dig up her…" Scott shuddered at the thought, a tiny tremor rising in over him, "Logan, I don't want that. She should be at rest. Just because I'm in turmoil doesn't mean that we should start desecrating her grave and…"

"I'm not even sure she's in there Scott," Logan finally blurted out. "Given that I watched her tear Chuck to pieces, well, him being around still gives me reason to think that maybe she's not as far gone as we all believed either."

"Where would she be Logan? Where would she go?" Scott questioned abrasively, "The school has been her home for so very long like it's been mine. Her family isn't a part of her world any longer, so where would she have gone? What would she have done all this time?"

"Maybe you're better at answering that question considering that you and she were…," Logan walked over to the table, pulling out a chair to take a seat before Scott.

"A seriously dysfunctional relationship that never should've happened to begin with," Scott groaned with a shake of his head. He pushed Logan's bowl of cereal towards him before dropping down into his chair to take his own.

"You don't believe that," Logan eyed him suspiciously.

"What if I do?" Scott challenged, still feeling the grip of madness Jean had inflicted upon his mind. "What if it's the truth?"

"It's not how you feel about her," Logan softened his tone when Scott's scowl intensified.

"It sure would be a hell of a lot easier if I did," Scott looked down to the bowl in front of him thinking about how he couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten. Still with the memory of Jean weighing upon him, he slid the bowl away from him on the table top, "I'm not hungry."

"Scott, you have to eat something," Logan frowned pushing the bowl back towards Scott again. "You need to build up your strength."

"Why?" Scott challenged, "So that I can simply have another meltdown all over again? So that when I think I've finally got my life together Jean can come back and remind me of just how weak I truly am?"

"Scott, come on," Logan shook his head with heavy disapproval.

"What? Didn't I cause enough destruction the other night?" Scott mouthed with an air of distain. "I'm pretty sure my actions speak for themselves Logan and considering that I'm sitting here with you right now hiding out in the aftermath…"

"For starters we aren't hiding out," Logan growled back at him. "Yes, maybe we were laying low at the hotel, but right now we're simply enjoying being home. That's what you kept telling me you wanted so there you have it. We're in Ohio and together. We don't have the outside world stepping in on our time or our problems at the moment. It's just you and I, the two of us, away from it all like you asked for."

"We're only delaying the inevitable disappointment that's waiting back at the school," Scott pushed his chair away from the table and walked over to the edge of the patio, "Xavier is going to be furious."

"Because of the situation at the club," Logan hesitated, his words uneasy as he spoke up again, "or because of us being together?"

"Hank knows, doesn't he?" Scott questioned tipping his head back over his shoulder to look at Logan.

"Yes," Logan nodded, "I didn't see any reason to hide it. We are together now for better or worse."

"You didn't bargain for this Logan," Scott turned away again, his posture stiffening when his eyes cast a glance out over his yard. "I know I twisted your arm into doing what you simply didn't want. I know you're here because I forced your hand on the issue."

"No," Logan slid his chair away from the table, pushing up to his feet with a determined stride, "I'm here because I want to be Scott. This is what I want."

"Only because I've told you that you have to want it in order to be happy with me," Scott sighed bringing his hands up over the railing on the deck, "Face it Logan. None of this makes me better than Jean. She wanted me to be something I'm not and now I'm doing the same to you."

"Where's this coming from Scott?" Logan frowned reaching out to touch Scott's shoulder only to feel him stiffen beneath his touch.

"From the same place it always was coming from. Logan, I know that you were looking for any reason in the world not to commit to this. You were hoping for an out. I know it was like pulling teeth for you at the ceremony even if you decided to grin and bear it. This isn't what you want," Scott refused to look back at him again, instead opting to keep his eyes focused on the mountains beyond the trees in his yard, "It's not what you need."

"I'll be the judge of that," Logan curled his arm around Scott's waist, tugging forcefully enough to cause Scott to release the bar. Grudgingly Scott spun around to face Logan fully, his eyes still focused on anything, but the man before him, "Scott."

"Save it Logan. You don't have to take pity on me. You don't have to have me as your problem anymore. I'm sorry that I dragged you into this and…" Scott attempted to wiggle out of Logan's grasp. However, Logan placed both arms out on the side of him, forcing him to stay put when Logan stepped forward.

"I think you're missing the part where I'm the one who gets to have a say in the matter Scott," Logan remarked sourly, his eyes searching Scott's tense features all over again, "You see if you know nothing else about me, then you should see that I don't say or do anything that I don't want to. If I commit to something, then it's something I intend to put everything into."

"Only because I made you think that it was an all or nothing situation," Scott's eyelashes fluttered, fighting to keep from revealing the insecurity that was bubbling beneath the surface. "I used sex and pouting as a means to…"

"I happen to like sex and pouting from you," Logan curled his fingers underneath Scott's chin raising it up just enough to see the tears that he fought to keep under wraps, "and just about everything else. Scott, you might've lead the conversation about our getting married, might've even been allowed to pull it all together in taking the lead like you always do, but if I hadn't wanted it, I simply wouldn't have done it. You know that about me."

"You felt like you were backed into the corner, forced to face an obligation that you never anticipated," Scott opened his mouth in protest, preparing to say something more when Logan moved in to shut him up with a desperate kiss.

Scott dropped his arms down to his sides, fingers clenching tightly around the railing, digging into the metal behind him in order to avoid holding onto Logan, to keep from showing him how readily he responded to the man before him. Still, it proved futile when Logan's fingers brushed over the nape of his neck, mouth coaxed his lips to part further, tongue dipping inside to taste Scott all over again when a soft whimper rose in the back of his throat.

"I married you because I wanted to Scott," Logan pulled back, carefully annunciating his words without hesitation, "I'm exactly where I want to be and no matter what is ahead for us nothing is going to change my mind about that."

"Logan, I just know…" Scott relented with a small breath.

"You think you know what I'm feeling, but short of looking inside my head, you can't honestly tell me that you know the answers," Logan challenged raising a determined brow.

"You've banned me from doing that, remember?" Scott curled his lip in protest, "You could tell me anything and you could be simply trying to pacify me…"

"I can think of a whole hell of a lot of easier ways to pacify you, then to marry you Scott," Logan threw back at him with a small shrug. "Sure, maybe you might think that my marrying you was your victory, but trust me if it was something I was against, no matter how much of a fight you would've put up, you wouldn't have won. I would've readily said no."

"You did at first," Scott reminded him with a flustered tone.

"And so did you the night you ran out of the showers and were ready to give up on us being together, did you not?" Logan tossed back at him flippantly. "Funny how neither one of us really stuck to our guns on that one about refusing the other, now isn't it?"

"Logan, that's not the same," Scott protested again.

"No, it's not, but at the same time I know what you're doing Scott. Whatever Jean did and said to you, you're letting it get to you. You're afraid that what happened the other day could happen again and when it does you don't want me around," Logan deduced sliding his fingers into Scott's dark hair. "I know it terrified you Scott. It scared the hell out of me too, but it's not reason enough for us to break this up. You know as well as I do that together we're an unstoppable team. You said it yourself and if there's a way to get to the bottom of what's been happening, then I'm ready to do so."

"What if we don't like the answers we find?" Scott questioned worriedly, his blue eyes filled with fear and concern.

"Then we take it a step at a time," Logan promised tracing the hollow of Scott's cheekbone tenderly.

"And if we find that Jean's still out there? If she's still alive and tormented?" Scott asked shakily, his worries mounting in the moment.

"Then we deal with that as well only unlike before when we do this, we do it together," Logan promised wrapping Scott up in his arms as he found himself divided by the hopes in knowing that Scott wasn't losing himself and that Jean had been the one that had been messing with Scott's mind all over again and the fear of what could happen should she truly be out there still, waiting for the right moment to swoop in and destroy everything Scott and Logan had gained with one another in the last few months.

xxxxx


	21. Chapter 21

"I'll be back in a little while," Scott announced walking out into the kitchen only to discover Logan at the sink trying desperately to scrape out the contents of the casserole dish he'd charred earlier. Bringing his hands up over his head in a stretch, Scott couldn't help, but eye Logan with a newfound interest, "Do you honestly believe that's going to come out?"

"It was worth a shot," Logan gave the dish another look before opting to toss it in the trash with a shrug. "I'll buy you a new one. Consider it a wedding gift."

"Your generosity is overwhelming," Scott couldn't help, but roll his eyes before placing his glasses on his face and securing them.

"Where are you going?" Logan couldn't help, but question taking a step in closer to Scott.

"I need some air. I figured a run couldn't hurt," Scott motioned to the door just beyond where he stood. "I've been thinking about what you said about my being in control of my powers."

"You are in control Scott," Logan informed him once again.

"Not as much as I'd like to be," Scott divulged with a shake of his head, "I've been slacking lately and maybe what happened the other day is the direct result of a lack of discipline."

"I don't know if…" Logan opened his mouth to say something more.

"I've been lagging on my exercise. Just because I don't always have the constant force of my power dominating me any longer doesn't mean that I shouldn't be doing everything I can to work to keep it in check just like I've always done. I've gotten lazy over the last few weeks in some ways," Scott continued to explain to Logan, "and maybe I just need to get back into training mode. If I get beyond the slacking I've been doing…"

"You should be resting," Logan frowned giving Scott a long once over, "You were exhausted the last few days and…"

"If I have to sit in the house, trapped inside these walls with my thoughts about what I did I'm going to lose it Logan," Scott continued to stretch on the floor before him, "Plus as you can see I've already started healing. The physical signs of what happened are gone. They have been for a while. I feel rejuvenated and…"

Logan watched as Scott spun around, bending down to lean forward. The angle gave Logan a more direct view of Scott's limber frame, accentuating all the muscled contours that Logan had grown to appreciate in a more intimate fashion. Seeing Scott stretch with such fluidity and grace, Logan found himself distracted by his inner beast, by more primitive thoughts that had no place in their current conversation.

"Fine, I'll join you then," Logan wiped his hands on a towel before approaching Scott. "It's been a while since we were able to really engage in a little friendly competition with one another."

"It's just a jog Logan," Scott's mouth curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl, "I really don't need you to hold my hand for this."

"Maybe I want to," Logan raised a teasing brow before shifting gears on the conversation, "or maybe I just want to prove to you that I can still kick your ass on this one as well."

"Please old man," Scott couldn't help, but tease, "you know I could outrun you any day at any time or any place."

"Want to make a wager on that one?" Logan wiggled his brow suggestively, "Perhaps a winner takes all situation?"

"Considering that I already have pretty much everything I could've wanted out of you, I don't think that's really a provocative enough challenge," Scott couldn't help, but issue Logan a long once over in spite of himself.

As Logan stood before him in a pair of gray sweatpants, shirtless and barefoot before the kitchen sink, Scott couldn't help, but find himself realizing just how perfect Logan looked before him simply making himself at home in the kitchen. It was the first time in a very long time that Scott found himself thinking about what it meant to have Logan home with him. The house had been nice before, but it had been cold, empty before Logan's arrival much like Scott's life had been for so very long.

"Trust me I can think of a few things that we could throw on the table," Logan winked at him suggestively. "Besides I was kind of hoping we could get a sparring session in."

"Sparring," Scott perked up at the suggestion, "as in you and me perhaps in the boxing ring?"

"Yeah, you know you and me…together kind of like we were on our last trip out here," Logan wiggled his brow suggestively, his eyes widening with mischief.

"If we do that, we won't get anything else accomplished Logan," Scott tipped his head to the side and laughed. "We'd start off sparing and then end up, well, doing something that entails a complete lack of discipline."

"We could throw a little discipline into it if you're up for it," Logan twisted the towel between his fingers, eyes full of suggestion when Scott felt a blush carrying over his cheeks.

"I'll consider it," Scott stood up taller, puffing out his chest before looking to his watch, "after the run."

"Afraid we won't get anything else accomplished if we hit the gym first?" Logan couldn't help, but laugh releasing the towel and tossing it over by the sink in a quick throw.

"I know we won't get anything accomplished," Scott met Logan's eyes in a challenge, "You'll say the right thing or maybe the wrong thing, we'll tear each other apart and then it's bound to get intense, wildly inappropriate, passionate and I'll be too tired to start on anything else…"

"Yeah, I was thinking along those lines," Logan nodded with laughter, "but first since you're eager to get a jump start on the day we'll go for your run. After we can finish up in the ring. Maybe somewhere in between that we'll also run a few exercises like we would back at the school considering we both could use them to limber up."

"Sounds good," Scott nodded in agreement before rubbing his palms together excitedly, "go get dressed and we can get out of here. I'm hoping to get some good mileage in today."

"You're going to be eating my dust very soon," Logan promised with a laugh turning to change for their next challenge.

"Fat chance Logan," Scott called out to him knowing full well that they were about to be in for an interesting day with one another.

XXXXX

"Ready to give up?" Scott questioned running in place in the dirty parking lot near the pub he and Logan had jogged off towards with one another. Turning around Scott watched Logan come up from behind, slow and steady in the same stride he'd been keeping for the last few miles of their run. Now watching Logan approach with gritted teeth, pretending that he wasn't thoroughly bored with the run, Scott couldn't help, but laugh.

"What?" Logan replied rushing up to stand beside Scott. Offering up a casual shrug Logan waved his hand in the air, "Eight miles aren't a good enough start for you this morning?"

"We still have another eight back if I decide to take the same path," Scott nodded motioning to the direction that they'd started off in, "which means you're going to have to step up your game if you're even thinking about out running me."

"I was pacing myself," Logan explained motioning to the older building behind them, "and maybe you should think about doing the same. How about a drink?"

"A drink," Scott glanced over his shoulder at the pub, seeing the weathered sign before him. Turning to face Logan again, he couldn't help, but smile, "sure, why not? You could use a little refueling for what I have planned ahead for you. We did talk of a challenge after all."

"We never agreed upon the terms," Logan corrected following Scott to the doors of the pub, "so therefore…"

"I'm thinking perhaps you can get started on some housework when I win," Scott couldn't help, but tease reaching for the doors and opening them.

"When I win the only work I plan on doing is in the bedroom with you," Logan reached out to pull the door from Scott's arm and breeze past him, "and if you're nice, perhaps we'll relocate to the boxing ring again as well."

"You won't win," Scott declared puffing his chest out confidently. The two entered the darkened pub, feeling it's stark contrast from the warm, wonderful day outside. Taking in a breath, Scott reluctantly took off his glasses, carefully tucking them away in his pocket before motioning to a table across the pub, "How about over there?"

"Sounds good," Logan agreed as the two relocated to a quiet corner of the pub, preparing to immerse themselves in the environment. Once they were seated Logan glanced over at Scott again, "Ever been here before?"

"Once or twice," Scott nodded quietly, "the food leaves much to be desired, but there are a couple of things worth checking out."

"I can see one of them right now," Logan's face remained neutral when his foot suggestively brushed up against Scott's leg underneath the table, causing Scott's blue eye to widen with surprise.

"Logan," Scott chastised in a small whisper, "we are on break, but after we have a tough regiment of activities ahead of us."

"That's kind of what I was hoping for," Logan wiggled his brow daringly.

"It amazes me how much sex is always on the mind for you," Scott groaned outwardly, amusement carrying over his tone.

"Don't tell me it's not with you," Logan leaned in closer to him, his words challenging Scott in the moment, "because we both know you'd be lying if you said it wasn't."

"Right now I'm thinking about the kitchen that's going to need a good work over in the cleaning department," Scott teased bringing his foot up in a subtle brush against Logan's leg, knowing full well he was toying with him.

"Right," Logan grumbled doubtful when he dropped his hand down to collect Scott's ankle. He pulled it up underneath the table, sliding it between his legs in an involuntary press. Cocking his head to the side, Logan could see the beginnings of protest carrying over Scott's lips, but knowing the cheap, plastic, checkered table cloth shielded anything that was happening underneath the table, Logan decided to chance it.

"What can I get for you both?" a voice questioned as the waitress stood beside the booth, clearly oblivious to their conversation.

"I'd love a water," Scott greeted her politely, his blue eyes meeting hers in a pleasant exchange when Logan's thick fingers massaged Scott's ankle, working over the tight muscle of his calf in a soothing press, "and what are your specials today?"

The waitress ran through the specials detailing each and every one of them until Scott settled in on a vegetarian dish and Logan opted for a steak. Once the woman left the table, Logan issued Scott a scrutinizing once over.

"Rabbit food?" Logan questioned sliding his fingertips over the ties on Scott's running shoe. He started to tease the knot between his fingers, offering up a not so subtle hint of his intentions when Scott pulled back.

"I'm training," Scott shrugged his shoulders simply. Sitting up straighter Scott wiggled his foot out of Logan's lap and wrinkled his nose at him, "Protein comes later."

"Considering you haven't eaten much of anything over the last few days, I think you should've opted for something a bit bigger," Logan suggested when the waitress went in back to put in their orders.

"Given what I know about the food here, I think you're going to be the one regretting that decision with the steak," Scott warned after the waitress returned with their drinks. "Healing powers and all, you're still going to feel it for a while."

"I like to live life on the edge," Logan decided raising the beer bottle to his lips and taking a full, hearty swig of it.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Scott leaned back in his seat preparing to say something more when the sound of new customers arriving captured his attention.

"So there we were standing outside of this big rig, watching all it's contents spill all over the road and this idiot decides to get in the way…" a voice boasted, starting to share outlandish contents of a tale to the new arrivals. Immediately upon hearing the sound of the voice, Scott sat up straighter in his side of the booth, craning his neck to take in the words. It wasn't so much that the words themselves were of interest to him, but there was something in the voice, in it's tone…

"So do you think that I'll be able to twist your arm into a little fun before we get back to business?" Logan's hand pressed in over Scott's in a flirty movement, geared at returning Scott to their earlier discussion, but as Scott listened to the sound of the dark haired man's voice across the pub, watching him make his way back to the bar with two of his buddies, Scott found himself overtaken with another thought about another time and place. Closing his eyes Scott took in his breath, trying to keep it under control when his thoughts got the best of him.

_"He's a real pretty one, isn't he?" the same voice at the bar surrounded the darkness, causing Scott to shake beneath the shackles he was in. Even though he was strapped down in the chair, he couldn't help, but want to fight back, to regain control of his life. He was terrified, bleeding and beaten down after he'd been ripped away from school, unable to fight back. He was helpless, blindfolded, alone and surrounded by the darkness that had consumed his young life for so very long._

_"This one doesn't look like a freak much, does he?" another voice questioned in a dark, sadistic tone. Scott felt the brush of fingers against the side of his face, took in the scent of the tobacco accompanying the cold, grimy finger tips upon him while another hand pinched at his arm causing him to wince in the back of his throat._

_"The best of them never do," the initial voice explained, his words laced with a combination of distain and interest when Scott felt the slide of dirty fingers against his cheek, pushing into the hollow of his cheekbone in a commanding press, "Of course that's part of what makes it so easy to toy with them. For a while you can forget they're freaks especially when…"_

_"You mean," a third voice questioned causing Scott to stiffen with fear. Realizing that he was trapped, caged within the torture chair like an animal, Scott started to panic. He felt fingers slide into his hair, wrenching his restrained head back in a painful stretch._

_"This one would be interesting," the voice taunted, hand pressing in over the front of Scott's chest in an unwelcome movement, "He'd put up one hell of a fight, but something tells me he'd be worth it."_

"Scott," Logan's voice tore Scott from the darkness, away from the sounds that filled his subconscious. Now with his eyes opening, Scott focused on Logan, seeing the worried expression on Logan's face before him, "you alright?"

"Yeah," Scott nodded taking in a breath. It was a lie, given that Scott was anything, but fine in the moment. He tried to ignore the sound of the voice in the bar, to avoid looking over at the man whose face he hadn't seen before today. The memory was there, the terror of what had followed when Scott had feared for his safety. He'd tried to distance himself, to pull himself out of the moment in between the men taking turns punching him in the chest and abdomen, beating on him relentlessly, each time more angry and eager, their threats more menacing in an attempt to break him. He'd imagined his captors were going to find new ways to torture him, to abuse him in ways that he'd never recover from, that they would violate him in such a fashion that would leave him forever shamed. However, before they could act upon their lewd suggestions there had been another voice. Scott hadn't known it at the time, but now he recognized and identified it as Victor's.

_"Get away from him," Victor had snarled when Scott had heard a loud banging sound. He was still blind to the world around him, terrified in his youth, a teenager with no sense of understanding, no comprehension of why the men wanted to hurt him. He strained against the restraints, hearing another shuffling sound. Bodies impacted with the walls, being tossed around much like Scott had been upon his arrival, but unlike before he wasn't the one groaning in protest and agony, "This one is mine."_

_"We weren't doing anything," one man explained with terror in his tone._

_"We were just looking…" the second added quickly._

_"We were keeping an eye on him like the boss requested," the man from the bar that Scott now recognized offered up, "Pretty little freak shouldn't be left all alone in here."_

_"He's not alone," Victor snarled bringing about another few sounds before the door creaked open. "He's with me. Now get out."_

_There were a few rushed apologies, a quick retreat before the door slammed closed again. Scott stiffened feeling his fears compounding in their absence. Yes, the men might've wanted to torture him, to do horrible, unspeakable acts, but without them in the room, he found no reprieve. Victor's torment had been unbearable before and he suspected it would be horrible again. The hits he'd taken by the men Victor had scooted out were nothing in comparison to Victor's madness. Scott could remember the pain, the blood, the sheer helplessness with the wounds over his body. He could still recall the agony associated with the slashes, the deep, penetrating ache in his chest with what he'd perceived to be knives at the time. Now alone with Victor, Scott was well aware of what would follow._

_"You didn't think I was about to share my pretty little plaything, did you?" Victor's voice softened, feigning an air of adoration, but Scott knew better. Scott was well aware of the bloodlust that had ruled Victor, of the sheer and utter delight Victor had taken in Scott's torment. The tests had been horrible, awful in a great many ways, but Victor's sadistic rush of thrill in tearing into Scott's flesh left him helpless, terrified and wishing like hell that death would surround him sooner rather than later._

"Scott!" Logan snapped squeezing at Scott's wrist, jerking him out of the memory without warning. With the touch Scott flinched, pushing back into the seat he was in with panic. His blue eyes widened, nostrils flaring with a rush of fear when he pulled away from Logan.

"Don't…don't touch me," Scott warned sharply, his eyes adjusting to his surroundings, to the realization that he and Logan were at the pub with one another still immersed in their time away from reality. He tried to still his racing pulse, to banish the memory of the fears inside of him, but they were so strong. Their grip on him seemed to intensify when Scott heard the familiar sound of laughter across the bar.

"Scott," Logan's eyes shifted worriedly. He stretched his hand out preparing to reach for Scott's hand again, but held back remembering Scott's request moments earlier.

"I'm sorry Logan," Scott apologized fighting to regain control of his thoughts. His blue eyes shifted between Logan and the bar trying to hold it together before he pushed himself away from his seat, "I'll be right back."

"Scott," Logan called out after him, but Scott knew sticking around wasn't an option. He needed air, needed clarity and peace of mind before he could focus again.

Rushing into the bathroom at the back right of the pub, Scott walked over to the sink placing his hands down on top of the ceramic. He lowered his head, closing his eyes and taking in a breath, one followed by another. Keeping his eyes shut tightly, he fought to contain himself, to refuse his mind's attempts to take him to a place he'd banished for his own sanity. He'd sworn to Charles that he'd wanted to remember Logan-that he'd been angry at how that time had been stolen from him, but accompanying those memories now bursting from within were the dark moments he'd longed to forget.

_"We're losing him," a voice carried over Scott's mind, buried from within the madness he'd been involuntarily surrounded by._

_"Damn it they've gone too far this time," Stryker's voice sneered with anger, "First Victor and now this…"_

_"He's slipping away," the other voice explained as the world began to fade out around him._

_"That's simply unacceptable. I'm not finished with this one yet," Stryker had commanded as Scott started to slip into a state of unconsciousness, "Get him ready for another injection."_

_"That could be dangerous," the first voice cautioned._

_"It's our only option because right now I need him alive," Stryker ordered roughly, his words firm and commanding, "perhaps Weapon X will prove to be good for something after all when everything is said and done."_

Now raising his head up, Scott fought for air. He tried to get oxygen into his lungs, but his body was protesting, refusing to escape the painful memories that had surrounded him. His tortured youth had been miserable, his time in captivity seemingly worse, but for years he'd held it together. He'd moved on with his life. He was no longer the terrified boy who hadn't understood the horrors of the world. He was a leader, someone who was supposed to change things, to turn their world around. He wasn't scrawny, weak little Scott Summers, who was afraid of himself and the world around him. He was Cyclops, a true member of the X-Men team, who never backed down when surrounded by fears. He was strong, no longer small and weak in the face of danger and threats. He faced them head on, never backing down when he was called upon. He wasn't a victim any longer until that moment when Jean tore his world upside down. After that he was…

"Fooling yourself again, are you?" a voice questioned as Scott raised his head up to see his reflection in the mirror. Although the color had drained from his face, his eyes had changed, darkening when laughter surrounded him. The blue he'd gotten accustomed to was replaced by blackness. It engulfed him, causing him to step back in fear when his reflection taunted him further.

"Scott, you and I both know there's only one way to be free," the voice shifted, transforming his reflection to Jean's before him. He bit down on his lower lip, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You aren't real. You aren't here," Scott held his hands up in the air, attempting to banish her from his mind. "I know that you can't be…"

"You're losing it Scott," Jean's laughter surrounded him, "even Logan's well aware of the weak grasp you have on your sanity. What do you think he's wondering right now? He knows you're unstable Scott and even if he tries to pretend it doesn't matter, we both know it does. After all how many ways can he get you into bed before he realizes how tarnished you truly are? That not even he can put up with the truth in what you are…"

"Stop it," Scott snapped back at Jean's taunting face in the mirror. He stood up taller, puffing his chest out and glaring at her defiantly.

"Do you really think he'll have anything, but pity for you if he knew what you were doing in here hiding from the past? If he understood what you let those monsters do to you do you think he'd believe you were anything, but pathetic?" she challenged with a scowl overtaking her crimson colored lips. "If he had any idea of just how weak you were…"

"Stop it," Scott brought his hands up over his head, "I won't let you destroy me Jean. I won't let you do this to me again."

"You're the one doing this to yourself," she argued, her features softening when she spoke to him in the mirror, "I can help you Scott. I can make all of this go away if you simply let me inside. Stop fighting me Scott and embrace the truth. Realize that we should be one-untied as it always should've been."

xxxxx

Logan sat at the table replaying Scott's abrupt departure from their lunch. For a few seconds Scott had seemed fine, the color had returned to his features and he was smiling. Their run had been a good start, surprising Logan with Scott's stamina, showing that clearly he had healed from the injuries he'd inflicted upon himself the other night. Yes, Logan had realized that the emotional scars and the accompanying guilt would take longer to heal, but time away would do them good. Logan was convinced of that, yet when Scott pulled away from Logan's touch, Logan couldn't help, but wonder what Scott was truly pulling away from. Had it been Jean? Had it been something else that was haunting him? Something was wrong and the longer Logan sat waiting for Scott to return, the more he realized that he couldn't let the issue go. Rising to his feet, he prepared to go after Scott and see what was happening when the waitress arrived at the table with their food.

"Leaving already?" she questioned with an uneasiness in her voice.

"No," Logan smiled at her politely, his eyes lingering to the bathroom door, "I was just going to walk to the restroom for a second."

"Sure you were," the woman huffed impatiently, "Look I know your type and just because we get this a lot around here, doesn't mean that you can keep doing it?"

"Doing what?" Logan focused on her fully.

"You're going to need to pay for your meals and get out of here," she snapped back at him, her eyes narrowing at him with anger. "Don't think you can just get a hand out when…"

"For the love of…" Logan reached into his pants pocket pulling out his wallet. He reached inside grabbing a few bills before handing it to her, "This should more than cover lunch. Just get a couple of carry out boxes for us and we'll leave."

"Oh…you mean…you really weren't…," she replied apologetically, "I'm sorry I just assumed…"

"You know what they say about assumptions," Logan snarled in response while his eyes surveyed the pub again. He took in a breath, his thoughts returning to Scott's abrupt departure once again, "maybe you should make less of them."

"I'm sorry. We just had a break in not so long ago and we've been dealing with these rough neck types," she continued with a wounded expression on her face. "There was a man in here the other day who was really sour and when I went to bring him his check, he threatened me. He had these nails and…"

"Nails," Logan repeated seeing something flash behind her eyes.

She nodded, motioning to the bandage on her arm, "He got really angry, attacked me even. He grabbed me and cut me with those fingers of his, but then when the bartender pulled a gun on him, he raced out of here. I don't think he was scared or anything because of the way he was laughing when he left, but since then I haven't been the same. I've been scared out of my mind and seeing you and your friend before with the expression on his face when he rushed out of here, well you both seemed to have that look about you. When I thought that you were leaving without paying or preparing for worse…"

"That's not what we were doing," Logan assured her with a smooth breath despite the surprising news she'd delivered him about her attacker, "With the man that was here, did anyone see what direction he went off in? Did anyone follow him?"

"Would you have?" the waitress asked with a tiny shiver, "I took fifteen stitches to the arm and in this business that doesn't help anything. At this point if I never saw his face again, it would be too soon."

"Was he alone?" Logan couldn't help, but ask. "You said he came in here and had a meal, but was there anything that stood out about his time in here aside from his not paying and attacking you?"

"I didn't like him from the start," she divulged with a tiny shudder, her brown eyes full of uneasiness. "He came in here like he owned the place, ordered a beer and a steak-raw… I just got the vibe that something was off with him."

"When was that?" Logan questioned seeing the frown that carried over her lips, "When he was here, what night was it?"

"Two nights ago I think," she shrugged in contemplation, "maybe three. It was near closing time and there was a game on television, so we were open a little bit longer. The place had mostly cleared out though when he arrived and it was clear from the start he wasn't interested in the game. He seemed distracted."

"Did anyone join him?" Logan prompted once again, hoping to get a clearer picture of what had happened.

"Maybe," she bit back on her words, "I mean there might've been someone here with him. He seemed to be waiting for something, but at the same time I certainly wasn't going to question it. I just did my job in giving him his meal and tending to the other customers. It wasn't until everyone else cleared out that he decided to attack me. It was like he was waiting, stalking me like I was his prey. He kept staring at me. He was huge and he had those nails and these teeth. They were sharp, pointy, animalistic like a wolf or a dog…"

"If you saw his face again, would you recognize him?" he inquired knowing without a doubt that it couldn't be anyone, but Victor. Looking around the pub, he found himself surrounded by even more questions. "Where was he seated when you waited on him?"

"Near the back," she motioned to a section of the pub that was closed off. "He did a bit of damage to the booth he was in before he raced out of here. I swore that I thought he was going to kill us all before he left. He had wild eyes. They were crazy, but not like the typical crazy we get around here. Sure, he had a beer, but there was more than alcohol fueling his madness."

"Can I take a look at the booth?" Logan questioned taking in a whiff of the air that surrounded him. While he hadn't noticed it before, he could now feel it distinguishable above the other scents in the room. There on the woman before him was traces of Victor, remains of his attack upon her. He could feel his pulse quickening, his heart racing with the thought that two days ago, Victor had been seated in the pub, waiting, plotting and calculating his next move towards revealing himself.

"I guess. The police said they were done doing whatever it is they do around here this morning," the waitress nodded to the tray of food she'd been carrying earlier. "You still want boxes for these?"

"Sure," Logan nodded barely listening to her when he turned to the sectioned off area, pushing aside the rope that had tied off the back of the bar from the other patrons.

"Ok, but do you want some sauce for your…?" she questioned, her voice calling out to Logan when he slipped into the darkened area of the pub.

It took a moment for Logan's eyed to adjust to his surroundings, but it was his other senses that were suddenly on overload. He could see a blood covered pool table set up near the back of the sectioned off area, could see overturned chairs and splintered remains of tables that were used to host more private parties within the pub. Taking a step forward he heard the crunching of glass beneath his feet. While it was clear that the pub's owner had wanted to keep the disaster from the other patrons, it was also evident that the police had done their usual, reckless search causing more damage than results when they visited the pub earlier.

Taking in the scent of printing powder and various other tools for inspection the authorities had used to track the untraceable killer, Logan knew it was a lost cause. Their search for Victor would end up empty, much like everyone else who sought out to take Victor down. Victor was too smart to get caught by a local sheriff and his inept team, too sharp in his senses to leave anything for a normal person to find him. Of course, Logan realized in his search that he wasn't a typical human. He had a strong sense of Victor, a greater affinity towards tracking something and someone of interest when properly motivated. Looking to the yellow crime tape closing off the booth Victor had been seated in, Logan felt his body tighten, sensation prickling over his skin when Victor's scent surrounded him, hitting him as if Victor was there in the room with him in that very moment. Granted Logan knew that was an impossibility as instincts told him Victor was long gone.

"What are you planning?" Logan mouthed to himself, reaching out to the overturned table. He sat it upright, grudgingly bringing his fingers over the carvings in the wood before him. There was a smiling face, jagged and out of place in the otherwise smooth surface, a certain sense of menace behind something that anyone else would've perceived as innocent. Victor was on the hunt again. The smiling face was a sign of that. It's symbolism ran deeper than Logan could remember, yet his instincts told him that Victor was preparing for his next attack. The waiting period was going to soon be over.

"Where are you?" Logan questioned looking at the torn booth beside him, seeing it's foam insides scattered around the darkened back room of the pub.

On the floor beneath Logan was a cue stick ripped in two with blood on one of the splintered edges indicating the violence Victor had entered into. Bending over Logan reached for it wondering if anyone else had been a victim of Victor's impulsive attack. Logan knew it hadn't been the waitress or the bartender, yet if Victor had been meeting someone, if that person had encountered Victor in a fit of rage, then… Taking in the scent of the blood, Logan froze recognizing it almost immediately.

"Bert," he mouthed to himself realizing that the man he and Scott had been tracking had somehow been in the pub. It was his blood that stained the cue stick, that was spilled out across the floor in scattered droplets, leading over to the pool table where the green felt top was torn to shreds. Logan moved forward wondering if Bert had given Victor what he'd sought out-if somehow Victor had gotten his hands on what he longed for. The blood indicated Victor was angry, undoubtedly upset with Bert, but given the waitress hadn't mentioned a body, Logan had wondered if Bert had gotten away. Knowing someone like Bert could never outrun Victor, Logan felt another concern building.

"If Victor has what he wanted…" Logan mouthed to himself knowing that if Victor had made a stop to meet with Bert in this place, then the results would be disastrous regardless of the outcome. If Bert had provided Victor what he'd wanted with the adamantium, then Bert would have served his purpose and Victor would be done with him. However, if Bert hadn't given in to what Victor sought out, he could be spared for a while longer, could be given reprieve long enough to obtain what Victor craved the most. Judging by the lack of carnage in discovering a body, Logan felt a momentarily relief in the thought that there was still a chance Victor hadn't gotten his way. If Bert hadn't provided him with the adamantium, then there was still time. There was still a way to stop him before…

Logan's thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt when he noticed a dartboard on the wall before him. Although the darts had been scattered on the floor, there were another set of scratches etched into the center of it near the bull's-eye. Looking through the shadows, Logan realized there was a word scratched into the board before him. It was sloppy and done in haste, but the bold, jagged edges of the word were on full display for Logan. There was an exclamation point at the end of the word, highlighting it's importance when it dawned in on Logan that Charles had been wrong. Victor was no longer in Canada. Clearly he'd been in Ohio, waiting and regrouping, preparing to make his next move onto…

"Scott," Logan mouthed remembering his lover still inside of the pub's bathroom area. It had slipped his mind momentarily, but now as Logan spun around turning his attention to the bathroom door he found himself overtaken with a whole new set of concerns. He weaved out of the sectioned off area only to have the waitress block him from returning to Scott.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted plastic wear for this as well as a bag, so I thought I'd see if there was anything else I could get for you," she greeted him with a much warmer expression, then she'd given him earlier.

"Sure, whatever," he muttered under his breath only to feel her step in front of him again.

"Look I know we got off on the wrong foot sugar, but I was thinking maybe I'd throw in a piece of apple pie for you for good measure. Kind of my way of apologizing for the way I talked to you before," she tossed her curly, dark hair over her shoulder and issued him a flirty smile.

"Just the boxes are fine," Logan replied dismissively, stepping aside and nudging the waitress out of his way.

"Are you sure that…?" she questioned again with a curl of her lip.

"Positive," Logan mouthed pushing open the door to the men's room in the hopes of seeking out Scott to share with him his new discovery. Suddenly Scott's strange behavior made sense. If Scott had somehow sensed that Victor was there before Logan had, then it would explain Scott's abrupt departure, the worry that carried over him when Logan had reached out to him. Scott knew something was wrong, yet Logan hadn't picked up on it. His senses had been dulled by his flirting with Scott, yet…

"Scott," Logan called out to his lover, preparing to tell him what he'd learned when Logan realized Scott was nowhere in sight. A moment of concern carried over Logan when he realized that Scott's scent had faded from the bathroom indicating that he hadn't been in there in quite some time. Knowing that couldn't be possible, Logan continued to search the men's room. He looked to a door before him, drawing in a breath before pushing it open to reveal the empty stall before him. Looking around the remaining two stalls, Logan discovered them empty as well when worry swept in upon him. Victor's carving was etched in his mind, the message SOON still burning Logan to the core when his fears mounted, "Scott!"

Turning his attention to the sounds of the running sink, he could see blood on the corner of the porcelain base. He noticed a bloody handprint on the far wall, but what captured his attention was the knocking window that was cracked and forced open with the same bloodied hand. Immediately Logan's thoughts turned to Scott, remembering the horror of Victor's lingering presence in their lives. Suddenly fearing the worst Logan found himself wondering how he'd been so out of touch with sensing Victor. He should've felt it, should've sensed something, but there wasn't anything in the air surrounding him. Just the fading remains of Scott. Feeling goose bumps forming over his flesh again, Logan turned his attention to the window knowing that wherever Scott had drifted off to, the window was the key. Rushing over to it Logan looked out to the area behind the pub, noticing an abandoned barn in the distance. He stood up taller, surrounded by Scott's scent, taking in a breath in feeling that was the direction Scott had gone off in.

"Please don't let me be too late," Logan mouthed attempting to push his way through the opening in the window in the hopes that whatever was happening wouldn't result in disaster beyond repair. If Victor was there, then Logan there would be an inevitable fight, but if this was the ghost of Jean haunting Scott all over again, Logan feared that it may be one battle he wouldn't be able to win.

xxxxx


	22. Chapter 22

The stale odor of must, mold and hay surrounded Scott as he looked around the darkened barn feeling it's emptiness surround him. He could see traces of sunlight filtering in through the roof, drawing attention to the intricate spider web that hung a few feet from where he stood. It shined in the light, showing it's complicated weave, showcasing the spider that had worked endlessly to perfect it's trap. It was exquisite, beautiful in it's own right as Scott couldn't help, but take the time to admire and appreciate the dedication that went into the web. It was incredibly complex, yet so very simple when the spider used it to bait it's prey, much like Scott had done when the moment struck. Now tipping his head down, he looked to the unconscious man on the ground, seeing the man's blood on his hands.

"This simply won't do," Scott decided feeling a moment of empowerment in his rage. He bent down, pulling the heavier man up off of the ground and throwing him into an abandoned wheel barrel that had been accumulating moss and a collection of insects.

"No matter," Scott mouthed to himself, hearing the groan the other man let out in crashing over the top of the wheel barrel. Scott watched his head fall back, turning to the side with a pained grunt when Scott noticed the faded pink scar across the side of the man's face. It had been the lengthy scar that had sealed his fate, had done him in when Scott thought back to being inside of the men's room dealing with his inner demons. He could remember his talk with Jean, his silent descent into madness when the man with the familiar voice had walked into the men's room, still laughing and amused with himself.

"Hey," the man had greeted Scott with a small nod before disappearing into one of the stalls, clearly oblivious to who Scott was, yet in all the time that had created a distance from the horrors, Scott hadn't forgotten. He was no longer able to lose the memory of that voice and the pain it had created. It caused his heart to plummet wildly in his chest, his palms to sweat and the longer Scott stood in the men's room staring at his reflection, the more profound his awakening had been. There were knots in the pit of his stomach, taking him past the point of no return when darkness consumed him again. He'd tried to stay in control, tried to keep his rage under wraps, but when he closed his eyes something changed, taking him back to madness.

_Opening his eyes Scott found himself back at the facility, strapped down to the torture chair. Only unlike his trip to the men's room in the present, he was back in the past unable to see. He was blindfolded, trembling and exhausted after Victor had taken great liberty in torturing him once again. He wasn't sure why Victor had stopped, but he suspected that Victor would return soon. Being alone hadn't given him relief because his fears mounted, the dread of the unknown carrying over him. Alone in the room the pain still lingered, the terror still surrounding him when the sound of footsteps approached. In the beginning when he had first been abducted Scott had hoped that footsteps would signal help was on the way, would somehow bring hope to him, but now he feared them. With each movement coming in closer, he was terrified of what new horror could come upon him knowing that no good could come out of others in the room._

_"He thinks he can keep you to himself, doesn't he?" the voice from the bar questioned, accompanied by the tobacco and alcohol that had lingered in his earlier exchange with Scott. "The funny thing is though he doesn't do you like he should. You're too pretty not to savor in every way imaginable. Cutting and bleeding you out seems so trivial when there are so many other delicious options to explore."_

_"Who are you?" Scott had questioned weakly, attempting to draw out answers about his time in captivity. Although he was surrounded by darkness, he could feel the weight of eyes upon him, could sense the threat lurking in the world he'd been immersed in against his will, "What do you want?"_

_"You're a smart boy. I think you know what I want," the man had taunted, stepping in beside the chair Scott was stretched out upon. Scott could feel the brush of calloused fingers against his cheek, the slide of harsh nails scraping along the wound Victor had left near the edge of his scalp. Scott winced, gritting his teeth together as he struggled against his restraints. There was a tug at the jumpsuit they had put him in to take away his identity and dehumanize him, a push of sliding buttons opening to reveal the sting of slashes over his skin, "Creed might think he's calling all the shots, but we all deserve a little fun every now and then."_

_"Look, I don't know who you are, but you have to help me get out of here," Scott had pleaded despite the realization that it was a futile attempt when the man's palm pressed in over his chest, applying pressure to his broken body, "You have to let me go. I need to…"_

_"Right now you need to be quiet," the man clasped his hand over Scott's mouth to silence him. Scott could taste salt and oil against his split, chapped lips. He could feel something else bitter upon his skin when the man's other hand greedily touched his thigh before working his fingers over the buttons on his jumpsuit in another haphazard attempt to open it. "We don't want Creed to come in here just yet…not when I haven't been able to see what you can do, you pretty little freak."_

_Scott felt a moment of panic, his body tensing up tighter than before when the man's fingers curled in underneath his jumpsuit over his inner thigh. He'd thought that Victor had been the worst of it, that if he could only endure Victor, then anything else would be tolerable. However, when the man's lips hovered over the side of Scott's neck, his words reaching deep into his ear, Scott knew he was sadly mistaken._

_"I'm going to see just how good you are at taking orders boy," the man taunted further, his fingers pinching at Scott's face in a violent grip, forcing his lips apart mercilessly. "You're going to show me a good time and when I'm finished with you, well if you behave I won't let my friends in here to do the same."_

_"Get off of me," Scott snarled jerking underneath the man's touch. Fingers sank further into his thigh, bruising his flesh as Scott whimpered. Knowing what the man's intentions were, Scott felt sickened. Bile built up in the back of his throat when he heard the sound of the man shuffling beside him indicating that he was preparing for something horrible. Panic carried over Scott, fearing for what could happen to him if he didn't put up a fight. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to take the inevitable violation, Scott opened his eyes, willing himself to try to control his powers, to find a means of being stronger-of escape._

_"Try not to scream too much," the man had laughed, mocking Scott's fears. Scott continued to twist in the restraints, attempting to break free when the man seized his hair roughly clearly enjoying Scott's inability to fight him off. The man hovered over Scott, leaning in closer to Scott's face, wrenching his head to the side in an attempt to force his mouth upward, positioning Scott for the unwelcome horrors that would follow, but before his attacker had the opportunity to violate him in the ways he'd wanted, Scott felt a rush of power overtake him. His optic blast shot through the sweat soaked blindfold, slicing through flesh on the side of the man's face mercilessly. The man howled and chortled in agony, falling away from Scott's side to the floor. Although Scott couldn't see him, wasn't even certain of how much he'd injured him, he knew that he'd wounded the man by his agonized groans._

_"If you come near me again, then so help me that will be the least of your worries," Scott snarled behind gritted teeth. He pushed up against his restraints attempting to wrench himself out of them without any success. Still unable to show his fears, Scott spoke up in warning, "I'll kill you!"_

_There was a sound of screaming, of the door opening and others flooding inside. Scott didn't know what was happening, but as he struggled to tear himself loose, he felt his body overtaken with a new rush of adrenaline. With each movement he made the hard, metal cuffs tore into his wrists, bit into his flesh, but he couldn't stand idle and let them break him. He fought harder than he could remember, felt one of the cuffs loosening when there was a wire around his neck, squeezing, tightening, suffocating him. He cried out, writhing against it and opening his eyes again. Blasts flew around the room, uncontrolled and reckless tearing into the ceiling as he hoped to keep the others from hurting him. He screamed, shouted, panicked when the wire bit into his skin, causing blood to spill from his young flesh. He wouldn't back down, wouldn't submit to their torture. He wouldn't allow any of them to touch him like that. He would fight with his dying breath if need be…_

_"You're killing him," he heard a voice in the room explain when the pull of the wire cut off his intake of oxygen. It caused him to fall back into the table, exhausted and gasping for breath when it finally eased up on him._

_"Freaks like him don't die," Scott could hear the man from the bar announce viciously. His voice was growing nearer, closer to Scott in his moment of fight._

_"We should get out of here," another voice suggested nervously, "If Stryker or even Creed knows what was happening, then…"_

_"To hell with Creed," the voice from the bar ordered, angry and humiliated by Scott's attempt to ward him off. Scott felt something pushed over his head, covering his eyes and preventing him from using his blasts again as he fought for air, "it's time this boy learned a lesson."_

Now standing in the barn, Scott thought back to the severe beating that had followed. Although Scott had been successful in warding off the man's predatory advances, the man and his crew had spent what felt like hours beating on Scott, taking their turns at attacking him with their fists. He'd attempted to fight back, to tear himself away, but with every attempt, they'd cut off his oxygen supply, knocking him out of consciousness at times with their fury. At one point in time Scott had heard the man from the bar bragging about his resourcefulness in having brought a hammer with him to serve as one of the first torture tools. Scott could remember the feel of it smashing into his knee before he'd passed out the second time. He'd awakened a few times, soaked in his own blood, body feeling as if it had been smashed into pieces with every hit made upon him. They took great liberties to torture him, the would be attacker making sure Scott stayed awake when he'd broken every one of Scott's fingers on one hand systematically with his hammer, drawn out in long, torturous taunts. The sexual predator was gone, but the sadistic monster had taken his place, set on torturing Scott mercilessly.

 _"Remember me,"_ the man from the bar had taunted over and over again, his fury overtaking the night Scott was certain his subconscious would never allow him to escape, _"Remember this and know that it's going to get much worse the longer you are here. This is just the beginning for you boy."_

"Worse," Scott repeated returning to the moment in the bar, knowing that the man had nearly beaten him to death that night he'd been held captive in Stryker's compound. The man and his friends had cracked his ribs, fractured his leg, demolished his hand, and done a number on his body while leaving his face in tact in their warped perception of keeping their attack on Scott from capturing anyone's attention. They'd been relentless, taking him close to death's door before another one of Stryker's men had overheard and intervened. It had been a blur, but Scott could remember the faint whispers of the nurses in the medical wing of the facility. He could recall their horror and the pity he'd experienced in there for the first time since he'd been taken. He'd hoped for reprieve, taken relief in knowing that they hadn't violated his innocence in the worst possible way, but what he'd lost in the time of the beating, he knew he'd never get back. His trust in the world around him was gone, his hope for survival had diminished leaving him only to anticipate death.

"I remember you," Scott announced focusing on the scarring on the right side of the man's face. It had been the scar that had caused Scott to react on impulse when the man walked out of the stall clearly oblivious of who Scott was. Scott had watched silently, seeing the man washing his hands when the fury took over in knowing what the man had stolen from him. Before he knew it, he'd knocked the man out, dragging him away from the pub in the name of justice.

"Wh…where am I?" the groggy man questioned slowly regaining consciousness. He struggled to move, but couldn't as Scott glared down at him, using his mind to hold the man captive. The man raised his chin up, seeing Scott standing before him, face twisted with rage, "Hey…you're the guy from the bar. What are you…?"

"I'm more than that," Scott stepped forward revealing his face through the shadows in the barn, "You know who I am…"

"No, I don't. Look man I don't know what I did to piss you off, but I'm sure we can work this out. I've got a couple of hundred dollars in my wallet…" the man attempted to get up again, only to feel the force of Scott's mind sending him down into the wheel barrel again. The base of the man's head struck against the metal on the side, his lips parting with agony.

"I don't want your money," Scott stepped forward, twisting his fingers through the air, tightening his mental grip on the man before him. He watched the man attempt to grip at his own neck, trying to ward off the invisible fingers that surrounded his throat, stealing the oxygen from his lungs much like the man and the rest of his crew had done to Scott all those years ago.

"I…I don't understand…" the man gasped desperately, his face turning a pale crimson color when Scott noticed the graying edges of the man's sloppy hair. The pink scar on his face was embedded in deep wrinkles, proving that time had aged the monster before Scott, yet in turning his attention to the man's hands and seeing the same dirty fingers he's felt upon him years ago, Scott cringed with recall knowing just what damage those hands had inflicted upon him.

"I didn't either when you did what you did to me," Scott mouthed icily, feeling outside of himself when his rage took over, "but soon you will. Soon you'll gain full comprehension of why I chose you today."

"Chose me," the man repeated with a gulp of air when Scott released his hold on the man's throat, "Look I don't know who the hell you are man, but…"

"Liar," Scott spat out, his skin growing hot with fury. He clenched his fingers at his sides, balling them into fists as he glared down at the man before him, "you know who I am just like I know what you are. Before I didn't have the luxury of looking into your eyes, in seeing your face and knowing what true evil lurked there, but now I'm no longer blinded from the truth."

"You're insane," the man attempted to pull up again only to have Scott send him violently crashing down to the ground without lifting a finger. Fury bubbled over Scott's senses, eyes darkening with rage as the man's face finally twisted with fear and realization. "No! It can't be."

"So you do remember me," Scott eased up his grip on the man, watching him crawl across the ground in a haphazard attempt to pull away once the wheel barrel tipped over. He was able to scoot a few feet away before Scott extended his arm out, pulling the man off of the ground without so much as a touch. He twisted his fingers around in the air, sending the man flying into the far wall of the barn again with invisible fingers seizing his neck, "and here I thought we'd have to exchange pleasantries with one another before you understood what was happening. Though you seem like a smart enough man-not educated by any means because if you had been, well, then you would've seen that stepping in to screw with someone like me wasn't a smart move at all."

"Get away from me you freak!" the man sneered defiantly, his face bloodied from the fall. "Stay away!"

"I bet you wish you would've killed me now, don't you?" Scott's laughter vibrated through the emptiness in the barn, causing the room to shake around them. "You had no idea what you were doing that night you decided I would make the perfect victim."

"It was just a joke," the man offered up nervously, "all in good fun."

"Good fun?" Scott repeated seeing the man attempt to reach for a pitchfork that was laying on the ground beside him. With a subtle brush of his fingers in the air surrounding him, Scott sent it flying across the barn out of his attacker's reach. "Damn near killing a child is good fun to you?"

"We didn't kill you," the man corrected with a slow, ragged breath, "You're still alive…"

"What about the others?" Scott challenged knowing only too well of the suffering that others hadn't been able to escape in their time being held captive. "What about those you tormented before me? Those who couldn't fight back?"

"Hey, it was a long time ago. Stryker was paying us to keep you all in line and…" the man stammered, attempting to seek out a reprieve from his fate.

"Keep us in line," Scott repeated in a shrill, wild voice, his eyes darkening with rage, "You walk around pretending that we're the monsters, but our kind isn't nearly as capable of the sadistic pleasures you sought out in trying to destroy us. We would never do to you what you've done to us…well, we wouldn't have before…"

"What do you mean wouldn't have?" the man gulped down harder, his throat tightening when Scott moved through the barn fluidly possessed by his anger.

"Why today's your lucky day," Scott smiled down at him sadistically, "as it seems that you've been caught up in being at the right place at the wrong time for you."

"You can't do anything to me," the man spat back at him, "You're weak. You wouldn't dream of it because if you even think of hurting me freak…"

"Hurting you would be too easy," Scott laughed wildly, his fingers coiling into a tight fist, "I intend on killing you. Make no mistake about it."

"Killing me," the man gulped down harder, "No, you can't. You wouldn't. You don't have it in you to…"

"Don't I?" Scott challenged raising an amused brow, his actions overtaking logic when he pulled the man up off of the ground again with the sheer force of his mind. He sent the man down into the floor of the barn hard enough to shake him up. The man groaned before Scott raised him up in the air again, up towards the ceiling of the barn with an ease in his movements. "You taught me well about torment and pain. Because of you I'm well versed on what it's like to work towards destroying a man."

"You son of a bitch," the man finally sneered at him, defiance and anger guiding him when he spat down at Scott. Scott moved his other hand up in the air, preventing the man's spit from reaching his face. He used his right hand to fling it upward back into the man's eyes before stepping forward and dropping the man.

"What's wrong?" Scott questioned waving his hands in the air and sending a pillar down around the man, caging him within the barn, "Is it too much for you when I'm not strapped down to a chair for you to torment? Not up for a fair fight this time around?"

"You're a freak," the man spat out him with a bloodied laugh.

"You're right," Scott laughed wildly, distance in his voice when he moved in closer to the man before him, "and I'm about to show you just how much of a freak I truly am."

Clenching his fingers into a fist, Scott sent his arm forward through the air, using his mind to slam a force into the man before him. The man toppled backward into the wall, impacting harder than the first time. Still it wasn't enough when Scott pulled him up off of the ground again, sending the man across the barn to the other side. In a flash the man impacted the wall, falling face first into the splintered wall before him.

"I'll bet you didn't think at the time you'd ever live to see the day when I returned to pay you back for what you'd done, did you?" Scott's hollow voice questioned, his body taking over when rage and anger erased all traces of logic in burying the man he'd prided himself on being in living by Xavier's code. He was beyond consoling with a thirst for revenge and retribution when he saw his attacker shuffle on the ground, coughing and backing away, but Scott refused to let up, instead pulling the man into the air again. "I'm not so helpless now, am I?"

"I don't know what you are, but you don't frighten me. You're still a scared little bitch," the man snarled with a coldness in his voice. "I should've had my way with you that first night instead of waiting. Then maybe you would've known your place…"

"Oh I know my place," Scott slammed the man into the wall again, "and now I think it's time you realize yours."

Bringing the man to his knees, Scott twisted his own hand, watching the man's arm raise with a jerking force that wasn't his own. His palm flattened out, fingers spreading in the air before him without hesitation. With a vicious laugh, Scott wiggled his own fingers watching the hand before him do the same. He was in control, calling all the shots as the man who'd tried to kill him was held captive, awaiting Scott's next movement.

"Finish him," a voice in the back of Scott's mind urged him on, "show him he can't hurt you again. You aren't weak anymore Scott. Show them."

"What are you doing…?" the man questioned in a panic, attempting to wrench his hand free of the invisible grip on him.

"You have one last chance to save yourself. Tell me that you were wrong," Scott ordered blinking in a moment of conscience. It was tugging at his insides, silently screaming from within to stop, to remember what he'd stood for all those years at the school with Charles.

"His moral superiority didn't stop them from attacking you back then. Xavier could've saved you sooner long before Logan arrived, but he left you to suffer. He didn't help you free yourself from the torment until it was too late. For years you believed he was your savoir, but we both know that living in his peace didn't stop them from hurting the others Scott," the voice continued to taunt inside the back of his mind. "You're their leader. It was up to you to protect them. You might not have been able to do it then, but you can make it up to them now. Show them that their pain and suffering hasn't gone without retribution. You can stop him from hurting anyone else ever again."

"Say that you were wrong. That you know you were out of line," Scott's voice was firm and commanding in the moment where he fought the internal struggle in his mind, standing on the edge of holding onto his control, "Tell me you regret your actions."

"Go to hell you freak," the man spat out at him defiantly, "the only regret I have is not finishing the job in killing you that night."

"Wrong answer," Scott snapped his fingers together, watching as the man's pinky finger flew back in an unnatural fashion against the back of his hand, effectively breaking it in the moment. "Try again."

"Son of a bitch.." the man bellowed in agony, pain twisting his features, "you just broke my finger."

"It's nothing like the shattering feel of a hammer I can assure you. Don't worry though I'll do a hell of a lot more than that, if you don't repent," Scott ordered, his words coming out in a sharp hiss, "Beg me for forgiveness in what you did to all of us."

"Like hell," the man mouthed sourly, his words full of distain when Scott repeated the movement causing another finger on his palm to dislocate, snapping in the blink of an eye.

"Scott," Logan's voice sounded outside of the barn pulling Scott from his mission of madness. He blinked, fighting to ignore it, but Logan's voice continued to appeal to him, "Scott, are you in there?"

"Logan, go away," Scott shouted feeling the voice inside his head intensifying, urging him to continue-to bring about retribution for all those who had suffered. It was deep in his core, bringing a surge of power down upon him when the man before him attempted to break free of Scott's hold. Feeling an ache in his temple, Scott struggled to keep the man in position, to prevent the man from moving of his own free will, but with Logan's interference Scott's control was weakening.

"Don't let him in here," the voice inside his head warned Scott, "He wouldn't understand what you were doing. He wouldn't let you finish this. He'll force you to abandon them when they need you Scott. He's the enemy."

"Scott, what's happening?" Logan questioned worriedly, his voice growing nearer to the side of the barn Scott was standing in. "Are you alone?"

"No, he's not," the man Scott had taken shouted desperately, "Help me. He's a freak. He's crazy and…"

"Scott, who is that?" Logan asked after a moment of hesitation, his voice muted behind the wall of the barn. "Who's in there?"

"No one Logan," Scott refocused on the man before him, twisting his hand in the air again and causing another finger to snap backwards on the man's palm. The man howled in agony, his painful bellow rising through the abandoned barn. "This doesn't concern you."

"Of course it concerns me Scott. I'm worried about you. If something's happening…," Logan attempted to pull at the door to the barn, but knowing he'd set the beam down in front of the entrance, Scott knew it would prove to be a challenge.

"Help me!" the man on the ground shouted, whimpering when three of his fingers were dislocated, causing him a great deal of pain, "He's trying to kill me and…"

"Scott!" Logan shouted once again. "Let me in!"

"Go away Logan," Scott snarled, his blackening eyes returning to his prisoner, "You're going to tell me what you know about Victor Creed. You're going to point me in the direction of finding him and once you do, I'll release you."

"I haven't been involved in that for years. After what happened with you they forced me to leave," the man whimpered painfully, his lower lip trembling with fear. Tears streamed down his cheeks, revealing the depths of the pain he was feeling in the moment. He trembled before Scott, still on his knees held down by the force of Scott's mind, "They let all of us go and ordered us away. We weren't allowed to have any fun any longer or be inside after you did what you did."

"What I did?" Scott roared with laughter, "You nearly beat the life out of me. You tortured and killed others because they were helpless. You perceived them to be weak when you and your friends went after them…"

"It was a mistake," the man finally conceded with a small whimper. Blood was running down his forehead from the last time he'd been flung into a wall. It was clear his lip was split as well when he forced the words out, "We were wrong."

"Yes, yes you were," Scott nodded in agreement, feeling the weight of a force upon his shoulders, entering into his mind to replay the torture he'd endured again and again. He could remember the feel of the man's hands upon him, the way that the group had taunted and tormented him, promising even greater horrors to follow after his recovery.

"I'm sorry," the man finally sobbed when Scott released him, allowing him to crumble to pieces on the ground, "so very sorry for what we did."

Scott blinked a couple of times, caught up in the momentary divide between the past and the present with Logan banging on the door, attempting to work his way inside to access what was going on. Still in knowing what horror the man before him was capable of, Scott took in a breath allowing the voice in his head to call the shots at long last.

"I'm afraid it's too little, too late," Scott snarled, his features tense and distanced when he pulled the man up off of the ground into the air again, "now it's time to pay."

Xxxxx

"Open the damned door Scott!" Logan screamed hearing the sounds of screams from within the barn. While Logan wasn't quite sure what was happening or who was with Scott, he knew that something was horribly wrong. Thinking back to what Logan had witnessed the other day in Scott's moment of confusion, Logan feared for what would be happening within the walls of the barn. In an instant there was a boom of the barn's rooftop sinking in and a blast that shot out from the roof into the afternoon sky. Ducking down Logan realized that Scott was beyond listening to him, caught up in a moment of release that Logan feared would take him under. There was another scream, then the scent of blood in the air surrounding Logan when his heart raced in his chest.

Standing upright Logan took in a breath, unable to quell the racing of his pulse. He was met by a surge of adrenaline, his claws extending when he slashed open the wall to the barn before him. It put up a resistance, but with a second slash the foundation splintered before him revealing the first glimpse of madness from within. It was dark inside, but there was no mistaking Scott's sweat soaked body moving across the barn, with hands in the air, pointing towards something up near the ceiling. Logan watched another blast erupt from Scott's eyes, followed by another blood-curdling scream. It was then that Logan realized the man with Scott was up in the air, arms out at his sides, blood spilling down from the left side of his face where Scott had just sent a blast with exact precision against his cheek to graze his skin.

"Scott!" Logan shouted to his lover again, hoping to reach him, but it was no use. Whatever had possessed Scott in the moment wasn't allowing him to listen to Logan or any other kind of reason. Frantically Logan tore at the wall before him, shattering it to pieces with slash after desperate slash. Within a matter of seconds Logan had pushed his way into the barn, rushing towards Scott in the hopes of saving him from himself.

"Scott, listen to me. You have to stop this," Logan pleaded watching the man in the air jolt upward again, headed towards a hook that was dropped from the ceiling, clearly used to hold cattle back in the day. The man whimpered and sobbed, begging for mercy, but it was lost on Scott in the moment.

"Scott please…" Logan charged forward only to see Scott hold his hand out, sending a wave of force into Logan and knocking him down to the ground.

"I don't have a choice," Scott's words were empty and hollow, his face centered in on the man above him, "He has to pay for his sins. He has to know…"

"He knows Scott," Logan shuffled around on the dirt, attempting to pull himself up off of the ground.

"No, he doesn't have the first clue," Scott hissed turning his head to face Logan momentarily. It was then that Logan was met by the thick, soulless, blackness that engulfed Scott's eyes, stealing away any sign of humanity that might've lingered inside of them. "He has to see that there are consequences to every action."

"That's right," Logan spoke up tentatively, feeling shivers running up and down his spine when Scott looked right through him caught up in a place beyond the reality that surrounded them. As Scott turned away using his new powers to thrust the man upward closer to the hook, Logan called out to him, "and that is going to apply to you as well Scott. You're no murderer. You can't kill him."

"He's a monster," Scott argued, his voice cracked with the first hint of emotion since Logan had arrived. "He needs to know what he's done is unacceptable."

"I'm sure he knows Scott," Logan tipped his head up to see the bleeding, broken man before him, "I'm sure he's well aware that he…"

"He tried to kill me Logan," Scott spat out bitterly, his words sharp and biting in the moment, "He was on Stryker's payroll doing unspeakable things to the children that Stryker abducted. He killed some of them Logan. He stole their innocence and hurt them…"

Logan remained silent watching Scott start to shake with his words.

"He tried to steal mine-to take what little hope I had left from me," Scott announced in an inconsolable shriek of rage, "When I wouldn't give in, they attacked me Logan. They tore me to pieces leaving me to die just like they'd done to the others. They tried to destroy me…"

"Scott," Logan watched seeing the man overhead whimpering with fear, "don't do this."

"He needs to learn," Scott argued, shaking his head furiously, "He needs to know…"

"He knows," Logan moved forward in a tentative stride, his footsteps slow and cautious as Scott focused on the man before him.

"No he doesn't," Scott insisted with a venomous roar, "I have to show him."

"You have Scott," Logan spoke up smoothly, his voice cool and controlled in spite of what was taking place before him. "Scott, he'll have to live with what he's done. He'll have to face himself each and every day in the mirror knowing how wrong he was."

"It's not enough. It can never be enough," Scott argued, the certainty from his voice tapering off when Logan drew in nearer.

"No," Logan agreed quietly, "It won't be, but doing this won't change what happened. It won't make the pain go away. It will only give you one more thing to feel guilty over because we both know this isn't you Scott. This isn't who you are."

"He tried to kill me Logan," Scott bellowed in a small whimper, his voice starting to return to normal. Logan watched the man above him sink down a few inches lowering away from the hook with Scott's resolve slipping away.

"He was wrong. He shouldn't have done that," Logan mouthed easing his claws back into his body when he reached out for Scott. "He never should've had that opportunity."

"No, he shouldn't have," Scott agreed somberly, tears burning down his cheeks, "They never should've touched us-never should've been allowed to…"

"He's going to have to face that," Logan promised watching the way Scott's focus was teetering off allowing the man up above to continue to descend towards them.

"The things they did to me…to everyone…." Scott finally broke into sobs, his arms dropping down to his sides and releasing the man he'd been holding captive. His face drained of all color, his tears consuming him when Logan moved forward collecting Scott in his arms with relief, "They tried to break us…they…they…"

"I know," Logan embraced Scott tightly, not bothering to look for the man who'd dropped to the ground. Logan could smell him in the distance gasping for air, but in the moment all that mattered was Scott.

"I tried to stop them. I tried to help the others, but I couldn't. I wanted to fight for them…to be strong," Scott continued lost in a sea of regret, "but I failed them just like I did with Jean. I let them down. I couldn't prevent their pain…I couldn't stop the madness…"

"It wasn't your fault," Logan pressed his hand into Scott's back attempting to soothe him in his anguish.

"The things they did to me…to the others…" Scott broke down in tiny sobs, "I have no choice Logan. I need to keep him from hurting anyone else ever again."

"We'll stop him," Logan swore, reaching out to touch the side of Scott's face. He curled his finger underneath Scott's chin raising it up to see the tormented, blue eyes before him, "We'll do this the right way and…"

"No," Scott shook his head in refusal, his eyes shifting with something that was foreign to the man Logan loved. The blue depths of Scott's soulful eyes were lost again, replaced by a thick blackness that mirrored Jean's. With a shove, Scott pushed Logan away with a snarl and a hiss, "we'll do this my way."

"Scott no!" Logan shouted watching Scott raise the man up in the air again, sending him towards the hook, to the inevitable death that would surround him in Scott's madness. Horror flashed through Logan in knowing that would be something Scott couldn't take back, something he would never recover from no matter how justified his actions might've been. Scott Summers wasn't a cold blooded killer. He hadn't been bred for that. Regardless of what Stryker had done, Scott was someone who fought for those around him, who only turned to violence when there was no other alternative. Killing a monster might've felt justifiable, but the demons would still forever haunt Scott if Logan didn't put an end to it.

"Damn it," Logan cursed under his breath, hating the road that was to follow. He charged forward crashing into Scott and catching him off guard when his energies were being channeled on the man before him. Scott skidded across the floor of the barn, surprise registering behind his ghostly white features as Logan hovered over him.

"I'm sorry," Logan apologized knowing it was a futile response, but with Scott out of control and lost in something that went beyond the pain of the past, Logan reacted on impulse. Logan instinctively thrust his head forward into Scott's knowing the force of adamantium against his skull was going to hurt like hell later, but he was certain it would subdue and save Scott in the long run. Scott groaned upon impact, falling to the ground in a state of unconsciousness when Logan shifted upward, cracking his own neck with a sigh. He heard the sound of the man Scott held captive falling to the ground, dropping again like nothing when Logan touched the side of Scott's face.

"I'm so sorry," Logan whispered fighting to keep his emotions in check when Scott lay before him. Smoothing his fingers over Scott's tear stained cheek, Logan feared for the worst, uncertain of what the future would hold for them now that Scott's demons were surfacing, dragging him deeper into the hell he'd kept locked away for years before Jean's attack on him.

"Weapon X," the man Scott had been attacking earlier mused with a relieved grin. Logan could hear the man struggling to pull himself up off of the ground, spitting out blood and laughter in his relieved moment of reprieve, "Stryker always said that you'd prove to be an asset to the rest of us. Little did I know how true that statement would be in your being such a perfect soldier."

"You'd be best suited to get out of here," Logan replied stiffly, his focus still on Scott unconscious on the ground, making sure that hadn't caused any unnecessary injuries in knocking Scott out.

"Oh believe me I will and when I do that little freak is going to wish that he'd finished the job before you arrived," the man reached for an empty crate, using it to prop himself up fully in a seated position. He spit out another round of blood before using his good hand to wipe at his lip, "I'm going to get the old team together and hunt him down to finish what we started all those years ago. Freaks like that need to be controlled or put down and…"

"Like hell," Logan released Scott, turning around to face the man fully. "Maybe you weren't listening to me when I said leave."

"I don't take orders from freaks," the man's eyes swept up and down over Logan's features, "no matter how much work we put into manufacturing them. We own you. You work for us, not them. Stryker put you out there for the rest of us-to eliminate them…"

"If you were part of manufacturing this, then you know what I'm capable of," Logan snarled bringing his hand up in the air. He allowed his claws to release, to dip in dangerously close to the man's bloodied face before him, "of how relentless I can be."

"I'm not afraid of you," the man chortled with an air of distain now that he was convinced Scott was no longer a threat to him, "Just like the other one, you don't have it in you. You can't hurt me because it's not a part of your programming. Stryker made sure of that."

"I haven't been under Stryker's thumb for a very long time," Logan warned sharply, a snarl revealing itself behind his gritted teeth when his eyes started narrowing with rage and disgust. "I don't take orders from anyone."

"All you freaks are alike. You might think you can lash out at me, but you weren't made for that," the man laughed before spitting out blood at Logan, "You're all talk and no action especially when you're on your leash, although that boy over there was certainly worth taking action with when he was strapped down to the chair begging for mercy. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do to get it. Despite what he was saying before, he couldn't get enough of us. He craved our hands upon him-kept teasing us and begging for it."

"I seriously doubt that one," Logan felt his inner beast emerging, seeing the predatory way that the man before him licked his bloodied lips.

"Sweet young thing like he was would've done anything to find freedom back then. We could all sense it about him. It made him all the more interesting," the man continued in a lecherous tone intimidated by Logan's warnings, "Of course as much as we wanted a taste, it seemed that Creed wanted him all to himself. Regardless of what the boy will say about the rest of us, he sure as hell seemed to enjoy being Creed's little bitch. Maybe if Creed hadn't claimed him right away, the boy would've been more open, more pliable to us, but being Creed's favorite made him untouchable…"

"Shut up," Logan warned menacingly while finding himself unnerved at the mention of Victor's presence in Scott's life.

"Surely you can see how I was tempted," the man breathed, his eyes shifting to Scott laid out on the ground. "The thing is I've never believed something was out of my reach. Being untouchable only made him more interesting. Freak or not being that pretty…"

"You're just looking to die today, aren't you?" Logan couldn't help but ask with a snarl.

"I'm just being honest. A boy like that made them seem less vile. Hell, I would've had a go at it with him if he wouldn't have been so stubborn," the man taunted further, his lips upturning in a crooked smirk, "Maybe I'll still have a go with him when we hunt him down like a dog and pay him back for today…"

"On second thought you're an idiot," Logan's eyes narrowed with disgust when he leaned in closer to the man before him, "perhaps Scott's right. Some simply don't deserve a reprieve when it's clear they are beyond redemption."

"Some would say the same about you Weapon X. After the things you've done, you're not better than me," the man clarified, surrounded by a sense of confidence and cocky bravado with Logan beside him. "You've wronged others in ways I couldn't begin to touch. Beyond that you can't hurt me. Hell, if I wanted to I could make you destroy him for me. With a few orders in your brain, you could do all the work in destroying the freaks just like Stryker wanted you to do. He'd always thought you were special, that you could be the key to their undoing even with being one of them. Of course we all had our doubts, but after today, I can see maybe he was on to something. The way you took out this one so readily, jumping to my assistance…"

"I wasn't helping you. I was helping him. He's not a killer. He's not one to surround himself in bloodshed and chaos. He's what men like us could never truly be," Logan puffed his chest out thinking about the man Scott was. "He's what the world should've had more of where as people like you are truly something that needs to be on the verge of extinction just like Stryker and his misguided notions."

"Listen you…" the man snapped at Logan, finally having had enough of their conversation. He stood up taller, staggering over towards where Scott was unconscious when Logan reached for him seizing him by the collar.

"No you listen," Logan roared, his primal rage surfacing, "I think it's time to see that you just ran out of options. Your window of opportunity just left you."

"You can't…" the man's eyes widened upon seeing the adamantium claws before him.

"I'm not about to let you torment him any longer," Logan looked briefly to where Scott lay on the ground, unconscious in the aftermath of what had taken place with his one time tormenter. Imagining the horrors that Scott went through, the madness that undoubtedly consumed him to allow himself to be pushed past the point of no return in dealing with the soulless monster before him, Logan knew a reprieve wouldn't be satisfactory. The man Logan had involuntarily saved in helping Scott had proven every bit as vile as Scott had sneered about, every bit as ignorant as each and every one of Stryker's soldiers who thought the mutant world was one to be eliminated. Now holding the man by the collar, Logan's claws moved in dangerously close to his face in making a decision about how to resolve the situation. Running his tongue over his tooth in a predatory movement, Logan issued the man a sadistic, determined smirk, "Scott might not have been capable, but as you said yourself, I'm Weapon X. I was bred to be a killing machine…"

Xxxxx


	23. Chapter 23

Logan bent down over the sink in the master bedroom splashing water on his face after he'd carried Scott back home, still in a state of unconsciousness. While the eight mile return hadn't been all that grueling physically despite the heat, it was the memory of what Logan had left behind in the barn that was still gnawing at him. Standing upright, he looked in the mirror realizing in the past he wouldn't have blinked an eye over the situation he'd been placed in. He would've reacted with violence and rage, never thinking twice about consequence. It simply would've been what was needed to get the job done. Case closed. Now with Scott in his life, urging him to turn over a new leaf, to become something more, Logan realized that the blood on his hands felt oddly out of place. He returned to scrubbing his hands knowing it wasn't part of what the X-Men stood for, wasn't who they wanted him to be, yet his instincts had guided him towards the instinctive need to seek out and destroy the enemy.

Now staring back at himself in the mirror, he found his eyes were drawn to the deep, dark crimson coloring on his abdomen. Reaching for the material he realized that the blood wasn't going to come out of his shirt at this point. It had been stained for far too long between the heat and the journey on the return home for him to salvage it like he had with his fingers and hands. Reaching down to pull it up over his head, Logan discarded the shirt, tossing it in the tiny trash bin before doing the same with the bloody sweatpants that he'd been wearing. Looking in the mirror he could see Scott laid out on the bed cleaned up and changed after Logan had finished taking care of him. Putting Scott's sanity first, Logan had guided a semi-conscious Scott into the shower, hoping to distance Scott from the madness back in the barn. Now with blood and dirt caked on the floor of the shower lingering as a reminder of what Scott had encountered, Logan wondered if today would truly pass for them. Closing his eyes Logan contemplated cleaning the bathroom up, then taking a shower to relieve his own tension, but knowing that Scott could wake up without him lost in a sea of confusion, Logan opted to wait. He looked in the mirror one last time before washing his hands again in the hopes of getting the smell of what he'd left behind in the barn off of him.

"You made a decision," he could hear a voice in the back of his mind reminding him, "Now live with it."

"Live with it," he repeated aloud knowing only too well that his action had been the only alternative. Scott wouldn't have been able to live with it had he passed the point of no return, but Logan, on the other hand, was able to separate right and wrong, stepping onto either side of the debate without thought to consequence or emotion. It had been what made him so very good at what he could do over the years. Before Scott, he'd been certain that he'd been quite capable of madness, readily entering into destruction time and time again, but that was a long time ago. This was now-this was a whole new life for Logan. Looking down to the ring on his finger, he felt a tiny sense of uncertainty pass through him. Indecision and questioning himself didn't factor into Logan's life, but with Scott laid out in the bedroom still struggling with himself, Logan couldn't help, but wonder if he'd done what was best for his mate. He'd reacted, leaping to deal with the situation in his own way, but had it proved to be what Scott needed? Taking in a small breath, Logan turned the sink on one last time, splashing water over his face again. The cool dampness imprinted on his skin, sliding with his thick fingers into his hair with a soothing sensation. Standing up taller he turned the sink off, vowing to push what he'd left behind at the barn out of his mind long enough to focus on Scott.

Closing his eyes Logan thought back to a time when things were so very different for them. Scott had been surrounded by his own private torment, yet it hadn't been as condemning, not nearly as consuming in the madness they were facing now. Still, in thinking back about that time Scott was wrapped up in his misery over Jean's demise, Logan couldn't help, but reflect on how things had changed for them during that time period. He and Scott had both been in denial about how much they'd needed one another, yet when push came to shove they had no choice, but to face what they felt for one another head on. In the worst of Scott's misery, they'd found their way to one another in spite of the odds even if their timing wasn't the best.

_"It's been one hell of a night," Logan mouthed to himself unable to escape the chill that carried over his body reaching deep into his adamantium laced bones. While he'd hoped that he'd be able to avoid the cold of night, he found that there was no escaping the apprehension inside of his heart in knowing how far life was from where he wanted things to be. Jean was dead. Scott was beyond miserable and Logan was…well, he hadn't quite figured that one out yet, which was why he'd needed time to think. He'd needed a breather, hoping to slip out of everyone's radar for a little while in order to get it together before returning. Unfortunately that hadn't happened at all in his time out. Now feeling guilt creep over in him as he tiptoed down the school corridor to his room preparing to make another attempt at sleep, he had the sudden feeling that wasn't going to be in the cards for him._

_"Logan," Ororo called out to him, catching him on the way back into the school after having spent most of the evening at a local bar, hoping to find a way to muster up the courage to find the strength to do right by Scott._

_Although it had been a couple of weeks since that fateful moment when Jean had sacrificed herself to save the team, the pain was still raw and fresh in everyone's minds. They'd been all mourning her in their own way, but no one's pain was greater than that in which Scott was experiencing. Initially Logan had contemplated an exit strategy, a way to keep Scott's life free of the chaos that had followed in having Logan pursue him, but now with Jean gone, Logan realized he couldn't walk away. He had to stay-had to help all of them get through the awful situation that had taken place. Of course that was easier said than done with Scott's latest disappearing acts in cutting his classes and other duties around the school._

_Logan had contemplated pursuing him, thought about forcing Scott out of his solitude during the waking hours, but after the last time Logan had seen Scott overtaken by tears, he'd allowed Scott time to mourn on his own, to be free of any concern of what Logan might be trying to do to him in pushing Scott into something he wasn't ready for. Now wasn't the time for that, yet with Logan's thoughts of Scott on the mind, he knew he couldn't stay away forever._

_Essentially Logan knew that tonight would be another sleepless night worrying about Scott until the late hours when everyone was asleep. Once Logan knew no one would be up paying attention, he would sneak off to discover Scott undoubtedly passed out in one of the secluded rooms around the school-too upset to return to his own room. After that Logan would stay with him, watching him until it was time to get up and start the day over. He'd make sure Scott was comfortably positioned on one of the couches, covered up and taken care of before slipping out of the room as if he hadn't been the one to step in and take care of Scott. At other times when Scott was lost inside of himself and wound up in an even worse place Logan would take Scott back to Logan's bedroom and wrap him up in the blankets. Logan would lay with him for a while before getting up early enough in the morning and pretending to leave the room long enough for Scott to slip out undetected by the others. Neither one said anything about it, simply fell into the habit, but over time it was beginning to take it's toll on the both of them especially with Scott attempting to put a distance between them. It was a defeating cycle for Scott, but Logan knew someone needed to help him. It might not be much, but for the time being it was all Logan could offer. Thinking about that Logan couldn't help, but feel his mind wandering to thoughts of where Scott was tonight. Logan knew he would begin his search later when everyone else was asleep, but for now perhaps Ororo would prove to be a minor distraction for the time being, he decided._

_Turning around and seeing the strain behind Ororo's face and the exhaustion behind her eyes, he knew she was feeling it as well. She'd been doing her best to keep it together for the students, to break the news of the loss to them as gently as possible, but it had been a difficult task. He didn't envy her responsibility, nor did he try to pretend to when he stepped in closer to her, sensing her uneasiness in calling out to him._

_"Yes?" Logan questioned pulling himself from his thoughts in seeing Storm's questioning eyes, "Can I do something for you?"_

_"Where were you earlier?" she frowned, "Xavier wanted all of us to touch base with him about what's been happening."_

_"I'm not really one for the whole 'expressing my feelings' scenario," Logan mouthed in response, his body tensing up at the idea of having to face a room full of his teammates when his last actions with Jean had been less than upstanding._

_Thinking about how he'd dealt with Scott's rejection by kissing Jean to spite Scott for walking away him, Logan felt like an idiot. He'd known it was a dick move on his part in leading Jean on like a fool when his lust was centered in on the man she was engaged to. She'd been tempted by Logan, ready and willing to consider that temptation before her death, which made Logan feel all the more like a man who didn't deserve to stand there with her friends mourning her loss and pretending that he'd done right by her or Scott for that matter. He'd behaved like a spoiled brat in focusing on toying with her when he'd longed for Scott. At the time it was a way of getting Scott to react-to step up and decide what he really wanted, but now with Jean no longer in the picture, Logan couldn't help, but find himself overtaken with a foreign sense of guilt. Yes, he'd been bitter-he'd wanted Scott above all else, yet in rethinking his actions, he realized that this wasn't how he'd wanted it to be. Winning Scott over that way in having Jean die wasn't at all a part of Logan's plan, yet in thinking about how blatant his actions were, he feared he wouldn't be fooling anyone._

_Even now when he thought of Scott, he dreaded what sticking around would do to his resolve to do right by Scott. He wouldn't be able to hide his natural response to Scott even if it wasn't appropriate. The idea of surrounding himself with his colleagues and accidentally revealing himself when he wanted to reach out for Scott to protect and sooth him in his misery terrified Logan. He'd allowed his concern for Scott to overtake everything else on the jet and the longer he embraced it, the more he feared it would have everyone sensing the truth in his actions. They'd all believed that he was still there because he'd felt a loyalty for the team-that he'd wanted to adhere to what the X-Men were truly about, but the reality was that only one thing had guided his actions in staying-Scott Summers._

_Closing his eyes Logan thought to how Scott had crumbled in his arms, losing himself completely on the Blackbird. Everyone had remained silent, mourning in their own way on the ride away from Alkali Lake, but it was in their quiet realizations that Logan knew that they must've sensed something had changed beyond losing Jean. To everyone else two rivals had crossed over into strange territory with one another, forging a bond in their loss over someone they'd both loved. It had been easy for them to label, but Logan had known better. Even though he'd pretended that things hadn't changed, there was no denying the truth that raged inside of him. Losing Jean had been a nightmare for everyone, but in having Scott turn to him-in having Scott's anger and grief overwhelm him, Logan realized that in all of his fantasies of holding Scott in his arms, they'd never included having Scott in such a deep state of despair._

_"I never wanted it to be like this," Logan had thought at the time, consumed with his own guilt and pain in having to watch Jean's ending. She was important to all of them at the school. She was someone who could've made a difference in ways that Logan couldn't. Yes, she might not have been the true object of Logan's desire, but he'd cared enough to not want to see her end up in such a bad place. For her to make the ultimate sacrifice to save them, to protect the others-to save Scott, Logan realized he hadn't given her nearly enough credit. As much as she'd wanted Logan, she had wanted what was best for those she cared about-loved even especially Scott._

_"Love," Logan had thought to himself when Scott's tears poured out over his uniform on the jet. He could recall the raw heat of passion he and Scott had entered into with one another a short while earlier before the world exploded around them. It had been lust, pure and sinful, excruciatingly fulfilling passion that had guided their actions-had forced Scott to stop denying what he'd wanted, yet with Jean's sacrifice fresh in their minds, Logan knew it wasn't the time to face that. He wouldn't be able to bring up the subject again with Scott mourning the end of the life he'd fought so hard to cling to. Now weeks later Scott had been avoiding him during the waking hours, trying to keep him beyond arm's length with guilt and anguish consuming him. It had been what had prompted Logan to skip out on the meeting Charles had planned, yet in seeing the first hint of anger in Ororo's eyes, Logan realized he wasn't about to be forgiven his oversight in staying away._

_"Whether you want to express your feelings or not the fact to the matter is we all lost a beloved friend and colleague a couple of weeks ago Logan," she chastised with a thick air of disapproval in her tone, "There's no excuse for you not to have been there. As a team we needed to be together in the aftermath. We have to stand strong and…"_

_"That's all we've all been trying to do," he snapped back at her with a snarl, "but by going over our feelings again and again, it isn't going to help anything. It isn't going to change the fact that she's gone. It isn't going to undo the damage that's been done and neither will my showing up to a group therapy session. You're all probably doing fine on your own with that. I already spoke with Chuck the other day when he pulled Scott and I aside…"_

_"Yeah, well that doesn't give either one of you a pass from skipping out on being there for the team," she called out to him when he turned his back to her. "We're all hurting you know…"_

_"I never said that it…" Logan groaned preparing to say something more when he thought about her words, "What do you mean giving either one of us a pass? Scott wasn't there?"_

_She shook her head, "Of course he wasn't. It seems to be a theme for him lately. I just assumed he was with you considering that you both seem to turn up together more often than not…"_

_"He wasn't with me," Logan couldn't help, but frown with worry, "Have you looked for him?"_

_"That's what I was doing just now, but I found you first," she stood up taller, her brow creased with tension and concern. "I know that Scott is taking this hard and believe me I empathize, but if he would've been there tonight…"_

_"I'm sure he would've been if he could've been," Logan offered up, suddenly finding himself even more concerned about the man who had been avoiding him the last couple of days._

_"And just what was more important Logan? What could possibly keep him from wanting to be there to honor Jean's memory with his family and friends?" she asked with heavy scrutiny in her voice. She placed her hands on her hips and eyed him expectantly._

_"I don't know, but when I find him, I'll be sure to ask him why he didn't think about everyone else and their grieving process when he was immersed in his own misery," Logan shot back at her sarcastically before turning his back to her._

_"Logan, that's not what I'm…" she started with a frustrated breath._

_"Save it," Logan raised his hand in the air, refusing to listen to her, "if Scott's missing, then I'll find him and bring him back so that he can apologize to everyone for allowing himself to put feeling horrible about what he lost above his duty to everyone else."_

_"Logan," she shouted his name, but he wasn't in the mood for it. Hell, he hadn't really even meant half of what he'd said to her when he'd twisted her words. He knew that she was coming from a place of genuine concern, but right now Logan was overwhelmed by a concern of his own in discovering Scott-in finding the man that he'd been worried about endlessly since the moment Jean had left them._

_Walking through the halls of the school it didn't take Logan long to pick up on Scott's scent. It intoxicated his senses, drawing him nearer to the object of his desire when Logan discovered Scott outside in the garage hunched over the steering wheel of one of his expensive cars. As Logan moved in further, he could also take in the heavy odor of alcohol that surrounded Scott, revealing the real reasoning behind Scott's absence from the team meeting. In seeing Scott passed out in the driver's seat, his forehead pressed over the top of the steering wheel, Logan let out a long sigh. Scott's hand was stretched out across the dashboard clutching a vodka bottle tightly. His other arm dangled out the open window loosely holding onto a photo of Scott and Jean together in their younger years and Logan's heart dropped. Saying nothing Logan simply approached the car discovering the driver's side door unlocked. He pulled the latch, carefully opening the door to ensure Scott didn't slide out onto the ground on the way out._

_"Oh Scott," he sighed crouching down to take the photo from Scott's fingers. He stared at it for a moment thinking about how happy Scott looked in the image before him. There was a warmth in his smile, a proud glow that surrounded him with his arm draped over Jean's shoulders. The photo looked a bit awkward with Jean's eyes focused on something else in the opposite direction of the person holding the camera, but Scott seemed genuinely contented in the moment. With a sigh, Logan tucked the photo into his pocket before reaching out to collect Scott in his arms. Scott groaned slightly, his body limp like a rag doll when Logan extracted him from the car. Holding Scott securely against his chest, Logan was suddenly hit once again by the overwhelming odor of alcohol on Scott's breath. While Logan wasn't sure how much Scott vodka had with him when he'd disappeared to the car, the empty bottle now laying on the ground was proof enough that Scott clearly had a lot to work with before passing out._

_"You really shouldn't be drinking this stuff Slim," Logan sighed._

_Frowning Logan reshuffled Scott in his arms before bending down to seize the bottle and Scott's car keys before anyone else could see where Scott had drifted off to. Logan stood upright again placing the empty bottle between him and Scott. Dropping Scott's keys into his jeans pocket Logan decided that perhaps now was the time to get Scott cleaned up before everyone else started snooping around. Ororo was on the hunt for Scott and if she found him in such a state, all hell would break lose. Xavier would certainly be upset with Scott for thinking about bringing alcohol into the school and knowing the kind of humiliation Scott would feel in having failed his mentor, Logan decided it was best to avoid the situation altogether._

_"Whether you like it or not, you're sleeping with me again tonight Slim," Logan decided quietly, turning his attention to Scott's pale face, knowing that the weeks of mourning were taking their toll on him. He'd lost weight, his cheeks were looking unusually hollow as his breath came out in a shallow pant indicating that he was lost in a nightmare. Hurrying up the pace, Logan rushed to his room, thankful that no one else was out and searching for Scott in that part of the school. Once inside Logan moved over to the bed placing Scott down upon the center before contemplating his next course of action._

_"No…" Scott murmured under his breath, his word tight and uneasy when he shifted on the blankets. He gasped for breath, making a gurgling sound that Logan immediately recognized when he rushed forward to collect Scott in his arms again._

_"Shit," Logan cursed pulling Scott up and taking him to the bathroom hoping to avoid the inevitable disaster that was about to take place on his sheets._

_"Oh God," Scott's lips parted, his glasses pinched in against his nose when Logan noticed a faint red glow coming from beneath them._

_"Take it easy Scott," Logan carried him over to the toilet knowing that it wasn't going to be pretty, but getting out the alcohol would probably be best for Scott in the moment._

_"Wh…where am I?" Scott questioned with a groan, seeking out an answer when he gagged preparing himself to lose the contents of his stomach._

_"Just breathe Scott," Logan suggested sliding in behind him knowing what would follow wasn't going to be pretty, but it would be necessary to helping Scott pull through his drinking binge._

_"I don't want you to see me like this," Scott stiffened when Logan's hand pressed in over his spine, his fingers soothing over the curve of Scott's back in a subtle brush. Scott tensed up and groaned, "Please Logan…"_

_"I've seen worse through the years. Besides, I'm not leaving you Slim, so you may as well get used to me being here," Logan decided taking in the distinct odor of humiliation radiating from Scott's body, but Logan knew fate wouldn't allow Scott the luxury of basking in it when Scott gagged again this time overtaken with heaves and the inevitable consequences of his drinking binge nightmare._

_"Try this," Logan had suggested a couple of hours later when Scott's heaves had died down and his stomach had finally given him a moment of reprieve. Moving into the bathroom, Logan watched Scott wiping at his face with a washcloth to remove traces of sweat from his brow. His eyes were closed tightly, his glasses placed on the countertop beside the toothbrush and bottle of mouthwash Logan had collected for him earlier. Silently Logan stepped forward keeping the steaming mug in his hand while Scott continued to dab at his face ritualistically._

_"I don't think I can take anything more right now Logan," Scott finally spoke up after a long moment of contemplation. "My stomach can't handle it."_

_"You're not going to be able to handle much of anything being dehydrated," Logan pressed forward sliding his arm out around Scott to place the mug on the countertop just beyond where Scott's glasses were. "I'm going to set this here for you when you're done and…"_

_"Logan, I really wish you hadn't seen me like this," Scott tensed up with Logan standing behind him. He set the washrag down, squeezing it in his right hand before standing up taller beside Logan, "I don't think that…"_

_"Don't think about it Slim. Just take the drink," Logan's breath cascaded over Scott's shoulder, his body invading Scott's personal space without an afterthought to it. He looked down realizing he'd involuntarily pressed Scott into the countertop before him. Scott fidgeted, his hip sliding back with a stumble into Logan. The brief, blink of an eye contact caused Logan's body to react-his mind to return to the showers in thinking about what they'd experienced with one another a few weeks earlier. Instinctively Logan's gaze dropped down to Scott's fingers, still wrapped around the washcloth, twisting ever so slightly. Allowing his eyes to slide up further to Scott's reflection in the mirror, he noticed the way Scott licked his lower lip, undoubtedly without realizing what he was doing. Another brush of Scott's hip against Logan and Logan reciprocated the movement letting out a low, heady, primal breath. It hadn't been intentional, but it was enough to snap both men back to their senses when Logan felt Scott tense up even further, his fingers clenching the washcloth to refrain from trembling as his lips parted in a sharp exhale._

_"Logan I…" Scott cleared his throat uneasily._

_"Take the damned drink Scott. It's meant to help with a hangover," Logan decided preparing to take a step back when Scott released the washcloth, instead placing his fingers over Logan's wrist._

_"Look, I don't…" Scott struggled to find his breath, his fingers wrapping around the top of Logan's palm in a shaky movement, "I'm not usually so careless or…"_

_"Don't worry about it," Logan looked down to Scott's fingertips sliding over the top of Logan's palm, easing dangerously close to interlace them with Logan's fingers. The tiny brush of movement caused goose bumps to form over Logan's flesh, creating a whole different set of imagery in his mind with Scott that went beyond trying to help Scott deal with his pain. Instead he was surrounded by thoughts of the showers, immersed in the memory of steam and the exquisite way Scott's breath sounded when he lost all control, wrapped up completely in Logan's touch._

_Even now Logan couldn't help, but wish he'd been able to see Scott's face completely when he gave himself to passion back in the showers. To remember the scents and the sounds were enough to cause Logan's breath to quicken, his pulse to race and mind to drag him down to a more primitive state with the man he'd craved standing before him. The subtle flick of the pad of Scott's thumb curved downward sliding over the skin between Logan's thumb and index finger in light, swirling, circular movements, eliciting another shivering exhale to spill from Logan's greedy lips. He tipped his head to the side, eyes fixated on the perfect line of Scott's neck-to the smooth near flawless skin before him tapering out over the top of the dirty, torn turtleneck Scott was wearing. Scott's thumb squeezed at the inside of Logan's palm, the remainder of his fingers circling over Logan's knuckles tracing the pinpoints on Logan's hand where his claws emerged during times of primal rage before disappearing between Logan's fingers, curving downward to grasp at his hand in a soundless, pleading squeeze._

_Logan stepped in closer to Scott, knowing that it was taking a risk, but still he couldn't hold back in guiding his other arm around Scott's waist to tug Scott back into him possessively. He heard Scott's breath quicken, felt his body ignite with the first sparks of lust between them when Scott's lips parted further caught up in pure sensation. Taking the initiative to get closer, Logan curved his arm around Scott's torso completely, wrapping his fingers around Scott's right hip. Scott grimaced, body tightening in the moment before Logan's thumb pushed in up underneath the bottom hem of the turtleneck shirt Scott had been wearing. The immediate warmth of contact between them caused Scott to jolt, shuddering ever so slightly as he lowered his head. Scott's fingers continued to slide up and down over Logan's hand, curving in underneath his palm before rising up and massaging Logan's knuckles. Over and over again with skilled precision and focus the sensation created a ripple of awareness to roll over Logan's senses alerting him to Scott's arousal. It matched his own, thick and heady, suffocating when Logan's fingers followed his thumb, pushing up underneath Scott's shirt to sample more of Scott's skin-to immerse himself in the soft, temptation before him aching and eager for a connection._

_"Logan," Scott whispered his name faintly, so quiet in fact Logan had almost felt he'd imagined it. However, when he looked up into the mirror he could see Scott's features twisted with conscience and need, divided by the promise of pleasure and the complete immersion in misery. For a moment Logan hesitated, not sure what to do for the tortured man before him, but when Scott's fingers squeezed urgently over Logan's palm again, he felt the encouragement to continue on in his explorations of Scott's smooth skin. Brazenly Logan's hand traveled upward, fingers stretching out over Scott's chest, guided on by the muted exhales that revealed themselves with each breath Scott fought to suppress. The squeeze over Logan's knuckles increased, Scott's grip intensifying when Logan's other hand captured Scott's nipple between his fingers offering up a playful pinch. Scott whimpered, pushing his fingers in underneath Logan's palm again this time digging his nails into the sensitive skin._

_Unable to resist temptation, Logan leaned forward nuzzling his nose against the side of Scott's face taking in his scent intermixed with alcohol and the misery he'd surrounded himself with. It was a change from the normal, crisp, clean aftershave Scott had used, contrary to Scott's usual demeanor, but it was still every bit as intoxicating. Logan felt a moment of pause knowing that Scott was still hurting, yet when Scott's chin raised, head dropping back to fall into Logan's shoulder in submission, Logan couldn't help, but accept the offer. Stretching forward, Logan's lips pressed down upon Scott's sculpted cheekbone, his tongue darting out to flick across the sharp line of Scott's jaw. He heard Scott whimper, felt Scott tipping back further hoping to offer more of his neck to Logan. Logan obliged tongue and teeth imprinting over Scott, wanting to taste every inch of him while Scott's fingers squeezed at his palm, tighter, demanding, more urgent, gripping and needy, forceful and commanding when Logan's teeth sank into Scott's flesh, biting at his earlobe with a low growl._

_Logan closed his eyes, immersing himself in the scent of Scott. Unable to get enough of it, he tasted Scott's neck again and again, feeling the not so subtle encouragement of Scott's fingers gripping his, needing more, wanting a release between them. Logan's fingers played over Scott's chest, lingering between the valley over his breastbone before dropping down to the top of his pants. He felt Scott gasp, the movement of his fingers ceasing when Logan reopened his eyes focused on Scott's face revealed to him in the mirror before him. Scott's eyes were still closed tightly, his mouth opened in the shape of an oh, his cheeks now flushed in anticipation, body on edge contemplating Logan's next move. Logan pondered it himself when he thought to how he'd discovered Scott in his car a short while earlier, passed out and broken by his grief. To take advantage of that would undoubtedly earn Logan a place in hell-would certainly qualify him for the asshole of the year award in using Scott's misery to his own benefit. That thought in itself caused him to tense up behind Scott wondering just what it was that Scott was looking for._

_"I'm not drunk…" Scott slurred, his words shaky and uneasy in Logan's hesitation._

_"Considering all you drank earlier it's going to take a while for you to be sober again even after being sick," Logan finally sighed releasing Scott's belt and placing his hand flat down on the countertop over the washcloth Scott had been using to wash his face earlier. The cold, wetness of the washcloth was enough to do the trick in severing the raw, carnal heat building up inside of Logan. The squish of the material that connected with Logan's touch caused him to return to his previous notion of helping Scott, turning to his focus and going against his instincts in releasing Scott. Still looking to the washcloth again, Logan stepped back placing a distance between him and Scott while thinking about the mug he'd brought in earlier, "Drink that. It's an old recipe that's guaranteed to get you feeling as good as new in the morning."_

_"And you know this works how?" Scott questioned abrasively, his momentary hint of silent temptation returning to his anger he'd surrounded himself with, "Given that you don't get hangovers…"_

_"Let's just say I've been told it works from an expert on the subject matter," Logan replied not bothering to reveal his source for the recipe. He stepped back and moved over to the bathroom door to place a distance between them. "I also brought you in a change of clothing so that you wouldn't stink to high hell when you left in the morning. Figured it might be good for you although they probably won't fit."_

_"Why is that?" Scott couldn't help, but ask._

_"Because they're mine," Logan explained drawing in a breath, "I put some sweat pants on the counter near the mug. If you want me to…"_

_"I'll find it," Scott's fingers stretched out across the countertop to reach for his glasses. He collected them, placing them back on his face. A moment later he focused on the mirror before him, revealing nothing about what he was thinking or looking at when he reached for the steaming mug. "I'll get cleaned up and then get out of here…"_

_"I think you should stay," Logan leaned in against the doorframe. He could sense Scott's uneasiness in the request, "I told everyone you were sleeping and I figured if you stayed here tonight, you could avoid any questions about why you missed that meeting earlier…"_

_"Meeting," Scott repeated somberly, dropping his chin down again to keep his eyes away from the mirror, "I just couldn't…"_

_"I know," Logan nodded quietly, "you don't have to explain yourself to me Scott."_

_"I just…" Scott fought for his words._

_"You don't owe me anything," Logan reached for the doorknob, "if you need to take a shower just don't lock the door. Just in case…"_

_"I'll be fine," Scott's face returned to the same, stoic, neutral expression he carried with him in battle. He refused to look up into the mirror when Logan closed the door giving Scott his privacy. Twenty minutes later Scott emerged from the bathroom in Logan's sweatpants and shirtless much to Logan's surprise._

_"Problems with the shirt?" Logan couldn't help, but ask unable to refrain from allowing his eyes to greedily take in the contours of Scott's chest. Remembering the way it felt to touch Scott, to tease his welcoming flesh caused a heat to settle in over Logan's abdomen, going decidedly lower when the memory of Scott's taste imprinted in his mind. Logan's gaze wandered ravenously over Scott's pale skin, up to the exquisite curve between Scott's neck and shoulder that Logan had explored that night in the locker room. Even now the idea of rising up, taking the time to seize Scott in his arms again and lick a hot, wet line over his body tasting him all over consumed Logan, causing him to look away before his thoughts betrayed him and enraged Scott._

_"It didn't fit," Scott explained with an uneasiness in his tone while Logan forced himself to focus on the nightstand beside his bed, "but it's fine. I'll just go back to my room and…"_

_"No you won't," Logan's eyes returned to Scott again watching Scott make his way towards the bedroom door preparing to leave. "Where's it going to be this time Scott? You aren't going to your room and I've already found you passed out in your car twice this week…"_

_"It's none of your concern Logan," Scott stiffened at Logan's words. His hand dropped away from the doorknob before he let out a long sigh, "I'm not your problem."_

_"Maybe not, but at the same time I know Jean wouldn't want you to do this Scott. She wouldn't want to have you torturing yourself day in and day out over what happened. She made her choice to save us and…" Logan opened his mouth to say something to comfort Scott, but all the wrong words fell from his lips._

_"Who the hell are you to tell me about what Jean wants?" Scott snarled back at him. Turning on his heel to face Logan, there was a glow behind Scott's glasses, "You of all people have no right to say her name to me."_

_"Look Scott I'm…" Logan opened his mouth again, attempting to make up for his words._

_"I don't need your pity Logan," Scott spat out at him defiantly, "nor do I need you pretending that you actually give a damn about what I'm going through. We both know that…"_

_"I care about you Scott," Logan stepped in closer to him, "I…"_

_"You what?" Scott placed his hands on his hips defiantly, "What Logan?"_

_"I just don't like you see hurting like this…" Logan explained desperately, "If there was anything I could do to change this…to make it better…"_

_"You can't Logan. No one can," Scott snapped back at him, "Nothing will ever be right again. Jean's dead and I'm…"_

_"What?" Logan questioned seeing Scott's resolve slipping away with each passing second. "Scott?"_

_"Just don't," Scott warned when Logan took a step in closer to him, "I just don't want… I don't need…"_

_"What?" Logan questioned tentatively._

_"I don't want you…" Scott raised his chin up, forcing himself to face Logan fully. He clenched his fists at his sides attempting to put up a wall between them, "I mean I don't need you taking pity on me. You don't have to keep cleaning me up each night. You don't have to watch over me like I'm on a suicide mission Logan. I don't need that."_

_"Scott, you're hurting and you shouldn't be alone right now," Logan softened his tone, worry creasing his brow, "I can't just stand back and…"_

_"Why not?" Scott threw his hands up in the air, "Why couldn't you just let it go? Why couldn't you just let me go and forget about everything? Why couldn't you just…?"_

_"Just what?" Logan saw tension carry over Scott's tired features._

_"Just leave me be. I don't want this. I don't deserve your concern or…" Scott's words came to an abrupt halt when he was overtaken by tears. His body began trembling with the anguish he'd carried over him since Jean's death._

_"You deserve a whole hell of a lot more than what you were given Scott," Logan decided willing to risk Scott's anger to move forward to embrace him. He felt Scott fight it at first, but soon Scott's head was buried in Logan's chest, sobs overtaking him once again. His arms sank down at his sides, head dropping further into the muscled contours of Logan's body when Logan's arms wrapped around Scott's slender torso more securely._

_"What do you want Logan?" Scott questioned pulling his head up ever so slightly between his tears. His voice was full of frustration, his face drained of all color when the note of desperation carried over his tone. The question in itself was simple, yet the answer that presented itself put up a much more tentative complication for them._

_"I want…" Logan had strained with himself to reveal what it was that his instincts were telling him. Walking away was always the best option given what Logan knew about pain and suffering. Still with Scott at his side, he'd felt renewed, invincible-brought back to life with a new sense of purpose and reason. Yes, maybe the timing had been off and the situation was beyond horrible for what Logan had in mind, yet in seeing Scott's lips parted in anticipation, awaiting the truth in Logan's response, he couldn't help, but react. Feeling Scott's fingertips press in against his chest, Logan sensed a warmth carry over him, a silent, pivotal moment upon him when he'd reached out to embrace Scott again, taking that step beyond the notion of friendship into something more with a simple caress. Scott's lower lip quivered and the glow faded from behind his glasses when Logan hoped that Scott wouldn't refuse him._

_"What?" Scott had asked in frustration, his voice painful and desperate in his moment of suffering, "What do you want from me Logan?"_

_"You Scott," Logan had confessed in a raw, guttural tone, his mouth inching in over Scott's in a whisper of a movement. Logan's fingers had swept tentatively into Scott's damp hair, teasing it gently in a movement that felt foreign from where he'd been in his life. However, in holding Scott and owning up to the desire that had guided him towards Jean's former love, Logan knew he couldn't stop. He'd kept going revealing a truth that he'd repressed for so very long, "I've always wanted you Scott. From the first moment I saw you…"_

_"Logan," Scott had been flushed, embarrassed by the realization, but more so behind his ruby glasses, Logan could sense a different kind of fire burning beneath the surface. Before Scott could question it or pull away, Logan's lips tasted Scott, half expecting his retreat-knowing that tonight of all nights wasn't at all a time or a place for a beginning between them, yet with the salty taste of Scott's tears upon his plump, tender flesh, Logan felt Scott relent, giving himself to the kiss. His lips parted, tongue dipping out to meet Logan's halfway in an unspoken union._

_Upon contact Scott whimpered, his tongue recoiling at the first flick of Logan inside of him-his body tensing up momentarily causing Logan to anticipate Scott pulling away, but instead Scott's tongue returned mirroring Logan's movements in exploring the sparks of impulse that surrounded them in the kiss. Logan's fingers caressed Scott's cheek, deepening the kiss before reaching out more possessively into Scott's damp, dark hair, savoring the short, bristling strands beneath his touch. Kissing Scott and tasting him at long last was incomparable to anything Logan could've imagined. He was temptation, fire and pleasure rolled into one as their kiss expanded, growing into a frantic dueling match overtaken by friction and moist heat. Despite Scott's repressed nature, Logan had to admit he was amazing at kissing-so well versed on how to do it that Logan found himself at a loss, simply relenting to allow Scott to take the lead on their union guiding them both to ecstasy in the kiss._

_"There's no comparison," Logan thought to himself remembering when he'd kissed Jean, hoping to steal a taste of Scott. The thought betrayed him when his hands dropped down to the waistband on the sweatpants Scott was wearing, fingers lingering above the material to press into the top curve of Scott's lean, muscular bottom._

_Scott gasped severing the connection when he stepped back, pressing into the door when his palms flattened out over Logan's chest, sliding up over Logan's shoulders, exploring and tentative when their mouths had parted leaving them both breathless. For a minute Logan wondered if he'd imagined it, if somehow he'd drawn the image from his fantasies, but with Scott's chest heaving for breath, his flushed skin revealing itself to Logan through the darkness of Logan's bedroom, he found himself overtaken by a whole new set of sensations that went beyond concern for Scott's grieving Jean._

_"Why?" Scott questioned in a low, raspy whisper, dropping his forehead in against Logan's._

_"Why what?" Logan asked lazily, his arms surrounding Scott's hips to instinctively draw him in closer yet._

_"Why do you want me?" Scott asked in a soft, vulnerable tone, his words surrounding him with an uncertainty._

_"Because whether it's right or wrong, it doesn't change what we both need from each other," Logan curved his fingers in underneath Scott's chin, coaxing Scott's mouth to his once again, hoping to allow them both the same sweet surrender that Logan had been hoping for since he'd first encountered Scott._

_"Then why did you tell me that she chose me?" Scott questioned pulling away from Logan's embrace, "Why tell me that at the end of it all she chose my happiness Logan?"_

_"Scott, I was just…" Logan saw something change in Scott's features, felt a wave of cold spread throughout the room surrounding them when Scott's breath grew more erratic._

_"She chose me and I chose you," Scott answered weakly, his heart sinking with the realization. "Why tell me after I chose you Logan? Why dig the knife deeper when…?"_

_"Scott…" Logan reached out to him again only to feel Scott pull away._

_"Don't," Scott wrapped his arms around his body in an attempt to put a wall up between them, "please…just…don't…"_

_"Scott, I wasn't…" Logan found himself at a loss._

_"If you wanted to hurt and confuse me Logan, you've succeeded," Scott broke into tiny sobs all over again, "I betrayed her Logan and she's dead. She chose me and I failed her. I gave into temptation with you and…"_

_"Hey," Logan reached for Scott again only to feel Scott's fist fling halfheartedly into his chest, "Scott…"_

_"No, don't touch me," Scott continued to strike at Logan's chest, breaking down moment by moment in his misery, "Don't comfort me when I don't deserve it. I should be suffering… I need to be miserable and…"_

_"No you don't," Logan reached for Scott's wrists attempting to fight him off when Scott collapsed against him finally, too broken by his grief to argue any longer. Feeling Scott's tears against his chest, burning at his skin, Logan squeezed Scott in his arms knowing that there was still so very much for them to sort through._

_"I shouldn't have hurt her Logan. She deserved better," Scott whimpered caught up in the regrets he'd experienced in losing Jean. "She should still be alive. She should still be with us now."_

_"I know," Logan had replied finding himself at a loss when he carried Scott over to the bed, simply sliding in beside him to spend the night comforting Scott in his misery. That night Scott had cried himself to sleep, hating himself completely for hurting Jean. His grief had temporarily taken away the elation Logan had felt in their first kiss, had stolen the small hope and victory inside of Logan when he'd focused on pushing his feelings aside long enough to help ease Scott through his pain. Despite the guilt associated with their bond, that night with Scott in Logan's arms felt like it was meant to be-like they had always been needing each other desperate for something real to cling to. Scott had his grief and Logan had hope that one day he'd have something more with Scott-that one day Scott would let go enough to see that there was still another chance for happiness waiting around the corner for him._

_Of course the morning that followed had proven to be the same as always, ending with Scott slipping out of the room and saying nothing about what had taken place. Their kiss was another secret, pushed down into a place where Scott wasn't ready to return to just then. Scott's retreat had been his way of coping, his way of dealing with things on his own, but as with everything else during that period of time it had wound up with another night of passing out in the garage. One followed by another until finally Logan had gone against Scott's protests, constantly putting himself in Scott's way in order to keep Scott from going over the edge. Scott had fought him on it, even tried to pretend to be angry, but the end result had lead to something deeper, more profound for the both of them._

_"You were right in thinking that we were better together instead of on our own Logan," Scott had revealed to Logan weeks later after that first night they'd made love to one another._

_There had been a culmination of new beginnings for the both of them that fateful night when they'd succumbed to passion with one another. They'd both been nervous, overtaken by desire and a thirst for something deeper between them, yet in knowing how important the night would be for Scott, Logan had found himself wanting to give more than he'd ever done with another lover. It had been a source of apprehension, a worry that carried over him with Scott's inexperience in such matters, but after it happened Logan realized it had been a first for him as well in the way he'd felt afterward. With Scott's heavy breaths of desire, his closed-lidded eyes squeezing shut tighter with each movement, each whisper that Logan pressed over Scott's flushed skin, it awakened something unfamiliar for Logan. With every tender press of a kiss upon Scott's eyelids, sliding over his cheekbones until Logan drank up the sounds from his lips, to every caress, every well thought out movement Logan found himself falling harder into something he hadn't anticipated when he'd been overwhelmed by the need to bed Scott Summers. Sex had been the initial goal that guided Logan, but making love to Scott had gone well and beyond the fantasy. Everything about Scott had drawn Logan in, had consumed him completely so much so that Logan lost sight of where he ended and Scott began in their union. That night had changed the both of them, had intensified their union, causing them to need one another more than either had realized. It started a feeling inside of Logan that he couldn't shake. He couldn't be settled in not having Scott with him-in not being together when things were at their darkest._

_"I've waited forever to find you Logan," Scott had whispered tenderly, his emotions getting the best of him when they lay together in the aftermath of the experience. He'd nestled into Logan, wrapping his arms around Logan lazily while his damp, dark hair tickled over the center of Logan's chest, "Whatever I said before…however many times I tried to push you away, I was wrong. This is what I've always needed. You're what I need Logan."_

_"I need you too Slim," Logan had confessed realizing that he'd meant it more than he'd thought he would. Scott had gotten into his system, underneath his skin in ways he hadn't anticipated. There was so much happening, yet it felt right. He felt complete for the first time since he'd lost his memory. For years he'd searched for the answer and he found it at long last in Scott._

_"Please don't ever let me do that again. Don't let me shut you out or push you away. I need you too much for you to ever let me go," Scott had whispered causing Logan to make the promise he'd vowed to live up to time and time again. It was the one thing that should've been the simplest in the world, yet with life it had been far beyond complicated for them._

Opening his eyes Logan thought back to the times in the past when he hadn't lived up to that promise. He could recall when Scott succumbed to his nightmares of Jean before she stole Scott from Logan's life. In being stubborn and stupid in not seeing the signs when they were before him, Logan had hesitated. In his hesitation Scott had slipped away, leaving him for what felt like forever before they'd reunited again. Then after they'd found one another again, Logan had been careless, ignoring caution when Victor had moved in on Scott. Now with Scott battling himself for his sanity, Logan knew that he couldn't fall into the same pattern. He couldn't lose Scott. Not again. Not to the man from his past who had tormented him, not to Jean and especially not to the demons who had tortured his mind. Logan would have to fix this. He would have to find a way to make things right. He had to live up to his promise this time. Scott had to be his top priority even if it meant going against his instincts and seeking out help this time around.

Walking out into the bedroom, Logan reached for another pair of loose fitting, navy colored sweatpants, putting them on quickly before sliding onto the bed beside Scott. With a worried breath, his fingertips touched over Scott's forehead, sliding down over his heated skin, feeling it burn beneath his touch. While Logan knew what he had to do, a part of him felt guilty for everything that had been happening. If only he'd paid attention to the signals years ago, read the signs a bit more, then he would've seen that Scott was in trouble before all hell broke loose in his life. Scott needed his help in ways that went well beyond his guilt over Jean. Thinking back to the violent confrontation between Scott and Stryker's arrogant, former employee, Logan couldn't help, but wonder what else had happened to Scott in his time during captivity. Sliding his fingers across the side of Scott's face, Logan looked to the faint, barely noticeable scarring underneath Scott's chin wrapping around Scott's neck. Although Logan had noticed it in the past when they'd first began to get intimate with one another after Scott had shed his turtlenecks, Logan hadn't questioned it-hadn't felt it was his place when the faint remainder of Scott's battle scars still lingered upon his otherwise flawless flesh. Yes, there had been other scars Logan had noticed when he'd pressed kisses over Scott's chest and abdomen, yet he'd never thought to ask about them, never wanted to invade Scott's privacy in exploring the demons that had created them when Logan's own scars were still hidden from the world around him due to his healing factor and his mind's inability to sort everything out. Scott's pain had been private, his own demon to deal with and Logan hadn't wanted to prod. It wasn't who he was at the time and Logan knew that Scott had found relief in that.

Thinking back to the man's words, discussing Scott's time in captivity, Logan couldn't help, but wonder if Victor had been responsible for those marks. It hadn't been the first time that thought had carried over Logan especially after Scott's last encounter with Victor. Remembering the weight of the guilt that had overtaken Logan in knowing Victor had been a part of his life that had caused Scott pain, Logan had been racked with guilt, with the thoughts that his love for Scott had made Scott a target, yet with thinking about Victor's initial encounter with Scott, Logan couldn't help, but find himself wondering what else his estranged brother had done to the man he loved.

_"They were beneath you Jimmy," the memory of Victor's voice taunted Logan, taking him back to the facility where he'd found Scott again, "You kept trying to be something you aren't. You aren't one of them!"_

Now looking to Scott on the bed, caught up in exhaustion over all that had taken place, Logan couldn't help, but admit to himself that he was nothing like Scott. Knowing what toll the afternoon would take upon Scott, he found himself overwhelmed with a need to protect Scott, to find a way to spare him the pain he'd endured at the hands of the brother Logan hadn't been strong enough to tear to pieces years ago. If only Logan would've stood his ground instead of walking away…if only he had opted to shut down both Victor and Stryker before they could hurt the others, then things might've been different. Scott might've never been in such pain, such misery over what had happened to him. He might've known happiness, might've been able to have a real chance with someone who could make him happy, with someone who didn't have so many demons in his past.

"L-Logan," Scott's groggy voice broke through Logan's thoughts when Logan looked down to see Scott's eyelashes fluttering open. His face was still drained of all color as his damp, dark hair surrounded his features, "Where…where are we?"

"We're home," Logan explained in a quiet voice repositioning himself on the bed beside Scott. Stretching out his arm, he wrapped it around Scott's waist protectively, drawing Scott in against his bare chest.

"Home?" Scott repeated with an exaggerated breath.

"That's right," Logan smoothed his fingers out over Scott's spine, carefully curling his slender frame in over Logan more completely.

"Mmm…home…okay," Scott breathed heavily, his eyes returning to a close when he rubbed his head in against Logan's ribs, settling in on a comfortable spot near the center of Logan's chest, "love you."

"I love you too Scott," Logan mouthed realizing Scott still hadn't returned to full consciousness yet. There was still time for Scott to work on finding peace before all hell broke loose.

Gently massaging the tense muscles in Scott's back, Logan couldn't help, but close his eyes taking in the scent of Scott beside him. Although Logan hadn't been certain what to do upon their return, he knew he'd done the right thing when he'd managed to place Scott into the shower, stripping him down and washing away the traces of blood that carried over him. Yes, the wounds might've already healed themselves physically, but Logan knew as soon as Scott was alert enough to remember what happened, it would begin another cycle of guilt, one accompanied by memories Logan was certain Scott hadn't wanted to face. Now with the press of Scott's palm over the center of Logan's chest, the warmth of Scott's fingers sliding in over the curve of Logan's hip holding him tighter, Logan couldn't help, but find himself thinking back to the moment that he'd believed Victor had taken Scott from his life forever.

_"They've made you weak. That bitch clouded your head with her lies, filled your heart with her tall tales only to use it against you," Victor snarled, clenching his hands into fists and drawing his own blood. "Same for your boy toy. I could've killed him years ago. Should've destroyed him before you had the opportunity to let him make you weak."_

_"I love him," Logan blurted out loudly, surprising himself with the conviction in his tone, "He's the first person in my life that's ever made me feel as if I was someone worth fighting for. He's everything to me."_

_"Was everything to you," Victor corrected with a nefarious snarl, "because he's dead Logan. He's gone and that hold he has on you is no more. You belong to me again."_

Shuddering at the thought of what would've happened to Logan in having spent the rest of his life at Victor's side devoid of the joy and happiness Scott brought to his life, doing Victor's bidding again and again, Logan realized that he'd made the right decision. Even if he should've fought harder to stop Victor back then, he knew now that he'd found redemption, found purpose in his life with the man in his arms. Sensing Scott had fallen back to sleep when Logan felt Scott's breath cascade over his hair dusted flesh, carrying over muscle and skin in a subtle press, Logan curled his arm around Scott tighter before making a decision about their future.

"I hope you can forgive me Scott," he mouthed stretching his free arm out across the bed, knowing only too well that the horrors they'd left behind at the barn couldn't be pushed aside forever. They had to face what was happening, had to return to what they'd been avoiding and even if Logan hated to admit it, they needed help. It was the only way to keep holding onto Scott, Logan realized looking to the ring on his finger and remembering his promise to never let go of what they had. Feeling a pang of uneasiness in his abdomen, Logan pulled his phone off of the dresser and dialed the familiar number knowing it would undoubtedly create an uproar. When he heard the voice on the other end of the line, he spoke up in a muted voice, "Hey, it's me. Yes, I know. I realize that, but it's important. We need you, now more than ever."

Xxxxx


	24. Chapter 24

"What part of bring him back to the school at the first sign of a problem did you not understand Logan?" Hank questioned with an impatient snarl upon Logan opening the front door to discover his old friend standing outside Scott's home in Ohio. With a disapproving shake of his head, Hank eyed Logan with another scowl, "You assured me that you would bring him back kicking and screaming if need be in order to help him, yet I'm out here and…"

"There were complications in what's been happening and I didn't think that now was the right time to take him all the way back to New York considering what he's been through," Logan attempted to explain himself in knowing that Hank had been reluctant to make his way out to Scott's home on such short notice.

"Please tell me that you were joking when you said that you knocked him out with the brute force of a head butt," Hank issued him another uneasy glare, "because given all that we've been talking about lately…"

"There were extenuating circumstances," Logan attempted to explain again, opening the door wider to invite Hank inside when there was another sound from outside.

"That applies in this situation as well Logan," Ororo announced sidestepping around Hank to make her presence known. She stood up taller, glaring at Logan before marching forward, "Why the hell haven't you told any of us about what's been happening with Scott? I asked you point blank time and time again if something was wrong Logan, but you dismissed all of my concerns. I knew that something was happening to him, but you lied to me about it."

"I didn't lie," Logan clarified with a frown.

"You weren't exactly forthcoming either and where has it gotten you?" she shook her head up at him disapprovingly. "How could you both be so ignorant to think that you could deal with this on your own when neither one of you even know what you're dealing with?"

"How did you…?" Logan's eyes shifted back to Hank again when realization dawned in that Hank had clearly agreed to bring her along with him.

"I tried to warn you that we couldn't keep this under wraps for long Logan. The last time I said I would give you a few days, but you knew as well as I did that we couldn't keep this between us much longer especially when Scott's getting worse," Hank explained with a simple shrug of his shoulders. "When you called frantic and upset she was there with me in the lab and…"

"This is just wonderful," Logan threw his hands up in the air and grudgingly stepped aside to invite the both of them into the foyer, "Scott's already overwhelmed with what's been going on and if he thinks everyone knows what's been happening to him, it's only going to cause him to panic and…"

"Everyone doesn't know," Storm clarified with a wrinkle of her nose when she looked around the foyer, "Despite my overwhelming protest, I've agreed with Hank's decision to keep this between us for now. I don't like it and I'm going to again state my protest to the secrecy, but nonetheless I've agreed to it for the time being."

"What?" Logan turned his attention to her, seeing the way she stood up taller in the center of the foyer with a newfound determination in her presence. "Are you saying that…?"

"The last thing I want is for Scott to find another reason to leave us again and endure any more agony," she explained folding her arms in front of her chest. She spoke up in a professional tone, her eyes signaling the only hint of emotion that carried over her in the moment. "None of us want to cause him any type pain. We need him and want to help."

"Thank you," Logan let out a small breath of relief before his mind wandered back to the other question her presence carried upon her arrival, "and Chuck?"

"He doesn't have any idea that we're out here," she divulged with a guilty expression on her face. She dropped her arms down at her sides and surveyed the room surrounding her, silently inspecting the life that Scott had created for himself away from the school before speaking up again. She spotted the photograph of Scott and Charles on the table with one another from their fishing trip in Scott's youth. Silently she touched the top of the frame, a sigh revealing itself from her lips just loud enough for Logan to catch the uneasiness in the sound before she spoke up again, "It's clear that there's been tension between him and Scott for quite some time. When Hank told me that you three have been keeping all of this a secret, I wasn't happy about it because I don't believe secrets can lead to anything, but trouble for everyone. It takes away from the trust that we've worked so hard to build between all of us. Without trust we have nothing because the kind of lives we lead bring us to life and death decisions each and every day. To be a team we need to know we can count on one another, however…"

"What?" Logan questioned again seeing an internal struggle taking place with her. She released her hold on the framed photo before turning around to face him fully, a crease centering in over her brow.

"It's clear that Xavier isn't himself either," she finally revealed reluctantly before exchanging worried glances with Hank. "Something's changed with him as well and although I can't put my finger on it, I know that something isn't right."

"It hasn't been for a very long time," Hank added as he and Logan entered the living room fully, "Scott's symptoms were the beginning, but now…"

"Has Xavier been exhibiting any signs of changes like Scott did?" Logan couldn't help, but ask.

"On the surface no," Hank took in a breath while contemplating his words, "but there have been other indications that have lead us to think that maybe he and Scott have been both…"

"Compromised. Whatever happened to them when they were away has changed them," Storm finished with a tiny shudder. Bringing her arms up around herself, she let out a small breath, softening her voice, "Given the confrontation Xavier and Scott had with one another the night of the staff meeting, there was just something that I couldn't shake. I know that it's not my place to question the things Xavier says and does, but he's never been that dismissive with Scott before. There was something in his tone, in his eyes that felt foreign."

"Scott felt Chuck's been keeping something from him for a long time now," Logan divulged thinking about Scott's newfound animosity towards the man who had raised him. "They've been at odds with one another for a while."

Storm nodded in understanding, "Xavier's clearly hiding something. I know how preposterous it is for me to be questioning him-to even be thinking that there's something he has been keeping from all over us, but it's there. It's been there like a giant elephant in the room ever since he and Scott returned."

"That doesn't mean there's never been any kind of strain between them because there have been times when they butted heads with one another in the past," Hank offered up with a neutrality in his tone. "That's to be expected with any of us, yet…"

"You should've seen the way that he shot Scott down when Scott questioned him about looking into the break in at the school…" she tilted her head to the side, her worried eyes revealing themselves more clearly. "There were so many things that the two of them weren't saying to one another…"

"I know," Logan sighed remembering Scott's confession about Charles requesting Scott and Logan part ways with one another.

"Not to mention he's been spending a lot of time lately with Magneto," Hank pointed out with a frown voicing the concern that had weighed upon them, "Even with their history with one another, the two of them seem to be together more frequently, meeting at the school and…"

"Magneto," Logan repeated looking between them, "Really? What have they been meeting about?"

"We don't know," Storm added taking a step in closer to the two of them, "but whatever it is, it's something that they don't want any of us questioning. When I mentioned something to Xavier about Magneto being at the school, he told me not to worry it-that he had everything under control. I didn't want to push the issue, but knowing what I do about all the trouble that man's brought upon all of us in putting us in harm's way with his radical, reckless crusades upon the world around us, I couldn't help, but wonder if maybe he's done something to Xavier that…"

"That what?" Logan couldn't help, but ask sensing her hesitation.

"Magneto's logic is flawed. His beliefs will only lead us to extinction should he continue to launch his mutant supremacy attack on the world around us. Xavier fought for so many years to have peace, yet with the two of them together all the time-having these private meetings with one another," she paused, worry creasing her brow, "what if something's changed? What if peace is no longer a possibility for us should Xavier now believe that…"

"He doesn't believe that Ororo. We've accomplished a great many things in our time fighting for his vision," Hank insisted with a firmness in his tone, "He wants us to be able to peacefully coexist as he always has. Regardless of whether or not Magneto's around, Charles has a strength of character and…"

"A need to tell others how to live their lives," Logan mouthed offhandedly, unable to hold back on his skepticism with Xavier's motivation.

"He means well most of the time, but with what's been happening…" Storm paused, contemplating her words.

"I don't know what's going on, but considering that the people who had Chuck had Magneto as well…," Logan interrupted looking between the two of them. "They were both held in captivity together before Scott was taken and perhaps in isolation, they both resolved to find some kind of compromise for their own sanity. I'm not saying I understand it, but at the same time with that situation uniting them maybe…"

"I don't know if that's what's bonding them or if there's something more," Storm paused taking in a breath, "The fact that Xavier has been more reclusive in his return in stepping aside, less eager to pull the team together suggests to me that something's changed."

"And not for the better," Logan muttered under his breath in agreement, unable to shake the uneasiness that carried over him.

"As I said before I'm not comfortable leaving him out of the loop," Storm clarified with concerns weighing down on her, "but even if I had wanted to talk with him about what's been happening with Scott, I couldn't because he's not around."

"Not around?" Logan half questioned seeing her brow crease with worry. "Since when?"

"He took off a short time after you and Scott disappeared," she informed him with a small sigh. "He left a note and some instructions about things at the school, but didn't offer any real explanation as to what he was doing or where he was going. To call it vague would be an exaggeration of just how little detail he offered up about what was going on."

"So he's missing," Logan pondered aloud, "and I'm assuming Magneto is as well."

"Not that we've been going out of our way to spend any time over at that camp, but I think it's safe to say that something's happening with him as well. I caught Mystique trying to sneak around the school grounds the other day and…" Hank added with a shake of his head.

"None of this makes any sense," Logan brought a hand up through his hair, "First it seems like everyone is gone, then I find Scott and all hell breaks loose. Victor is out there causing chaos. Chuck is alive, Magneto's powers have returned and Scott's haunted by visions of Jean causing him to do things, to behave in ways that aren't like him…"

Hank and Storm exchanged glances once again causing Logan to question it.

"What?" Logan asked. "What aren't you telling me?"

"With what just happened with Scott, are you sure it was Jean?" Hank questioned with an uneasiness in his voice. "Did you see or hear her when he was launching the attack on his tormenter? Was there any indication that Jean was forcing his hand?"

"Not verbally," Logan shook his head firmly, "but his eyes…I saw it in his eyes. They weren't him. He wasn't there. They were black and…"

"Logan, there's something you should see," Storm finally revealed reaching into the bag she'd brought in with her. "When Scott and Xavier started arguing about the break in, there was something about the tone of their debate that I couldn't quite shake. As I said before I felt it wasn't my place to question it, but given that it's been so long since we've had peace within the school, I knew that I couldn't let it go either. I did a little research and although the security cameras were out the night of the break in, I discovered this."

"What is it?" Logan questioned seeing her pull a disk out of a small, black case she'd had within the bag.

"Does Scott have a computer around here that we can access to take a look?" she questioned softening her voice.

"His study is down the hall and," Logan paused eyeing her suspiciously, "What is that?"

"I want you to see it for yourself," she explained nodding to Hank again. "It's easier that way."

"I've already seen it, so where's Scott right now?" Hank decided clearing his throat uneasily. "Given what you told me about the way you subdued him earlier, I don't know if I should be lecturing you or preparing him for another CAT scan."

"I didn't hit him that hard," Logan admitted with a small shrug remembering his desperate act, "I was careful in doing it."

"Still not a smart move Logan and you know that," Hank couldn't help, but frown at him disapprovingly. "Has he awakened since everything took place?"

"He's been in and out of it for the last couple of hours. He's exhausted, much like he was before, but I don't think it has anything to do with my hitting him Hank. I think it's more so with what's been happening to him. I'm worried and…" Logan replied thinking about how he'd brought Scott home with a sense of panic and concern overtaking him.

"I'll go take a look at him," Hank motioned to the stairs ahead of him, "I assume he's up there."

Logan nodded, "First door on the right. I left the door open so you should be able to find your way around."

"Thanks Logan," Hank mouthed moving to the stairs before leaving Logan and Storm alone with one another.

"So what do you want to show me?" Logan questioned rubbing his palms together nervously.

"You aren't going to like it, but then again something tells me that you aren't happy with any of what's been going on," she began to follow him in the opposite direction to Scott's office. "I have to say I was surprised to hear that you and Scott ran away to do what you did on a whim like that."

"Hank told you about the wedding, huh?" Logan scratched his chin and sighed.

"He didn't have to," she folded her arms in front of her chest, "considering that having Marie as your Matron of Honor wasn't exactly a lesson in being discreet."

"That was unintentional," Logan attempted to defend himself, "but for what it's worth, well, I suppose I didn't mind having her there when we needed a witness."

"What about Scott?" she questioned tentatively, her eyes full of the same concern and interest she carried with her in most of their exchanges. "How did he feel about everything that was going on?"

"It was his idea truth be told," Logan rolled his shoulders back and sighed at the memory of their impromptu wedding, "He asked and after that everything sort of fell into place."

"I see," she eyed him with heavy scrutiny revealing nothing more of her thoughts, "and you just readily accepted without protest?"

"Of course there was protest, but there's no doubt in my mind that we did the right thing," Logan stood up taller, asserting his position within his relationship with Scott. "He needs me right now and I need him."

"You'd better remember that because something tells me that life is about to get increasingly complicated for all of us especially after you watch this," she stepped into the office behind him, preparing to walk over to the computer before looking over her shoulder at him, "May I?"

"By all means. Be my guest," Logan waved his hand around in the air watching her take a seat in the chair before the computer. He stood back quietly when she reached for the mouse, her eyes turning to look at the screensaver before her of Scott and Logan from after the ceremony. A heat rose over his features and he cleared his throat again, "I'm guessing Scott just put that on there earlier today before everything else happened and…"

"It's a bit of a change for Scott. He's not usually one to offer up private details on his inner workings especially in relationships," she fought to suppress the laugh that carried over her in seeing the image before her, "but obviously if he's feeling brave enough to display the proud moment, then he must be elated. Of course knowing what I do about your inability to follow any kind of direction, I'd imagine that will be short lived."

"What?" Logan couldn't help, but crack a teasing grin at her words, "You don't think that a life with me could be a promising enough start for someone?"

"I think Scott has the patience of a saint at times," she shook her head lightly, her hair framing her face with the movement, "yet he also has all the faith in the world that love can overcome the odds."

"Did he feel that way about Jean too?" Logan questioned with an uneasiness in his tone. Approaching her, he couldn't help, but think of the woman who was tormenting Scott's mind with her memory, "Did he believe that Jean was his ticket to happily ever after?"

"They were good for one another Logan," she offered up despite knowing it wasn't what Logan had wanted to hear, "They made each other very happy for a long time. Regardless of what's happening to Scott now, in what he's seeing…it isn't the woman Jean was. She loved him Logan. More than anything he meant the world to her."

"And she to him," he sighed stating the obvious in spite of himself, "He's had a hard time dealing with losing her."

"I wouldn't have anticipated anything less from him," she nodded quietly. Clearing her throat, she spoke up again with an apprehension in her tone, "Logan, I've been thinking about what you said before about everyone challenging what you and Scott have with one another. When you told me that you loved him…well, I wasn't expecting that."

"Why?" Logan questioned stiffly.

"Because I didn't know what it meant on your end. I didn't think that you were capable of the kind of commitment to someone like Scott who dreams up beautiful, romantic fantasies about a life without fear, without pain and suffering. He tries to hide it, but I know he's always been seeking out the family he's never had. I've always suspected it was in part due to his upbringing-to having survived on his own before Xavier found him. Scott's not always forthcoming about those dreams he has, but I've always known he's had them. With you, well, it just seemed as though that wasn't something you were seeking out," she revealed raising her head up to meet his eyes. "That's not saying that I believed you weren't able to feel love and compassion because I've seen that in your encounters with Marie. I even saw shades of it with Scott after we lost Jean the first time. It's just with the distances and walls you've kept up surrounding you since your arrival, it just always seemed as if you were always walking around with one foot out the door, ready to run away when the impulse struck."

"I might've," he let out an ironic laugh, "Hell, I'd tried to time and time again, but in being away, the only thing that I could think about was what I was missing out in not being around Scott. I realize no one would expect that out of me given my attitude most of the time, but he changed that for me Ororo. The longer I was around him, the more I realized leaving simply wasn't an option anymore."

"I can see that," she nodded quietly, "I just never anticipated it happening on your end. Granted I had my suspicions about what you meant to Scott for a long time before the two of you were together. When Jean died and he turned to you, I think we all realized…"

"He was lost and I wanted to help him find himself," Logan offered up with a small breath. Bringing his fingers up through his thick, unruly dark hair he thought back to Scott's misery.

"It was always more than that," she asserted knowingly before taking in a breath, "Jean knew it as well."

"She knew a lot of things about Scott and I that I wish she hadn't at the time," Logan conceded with a small nod.

"In knowing what she did I think it made it easier for her to let go," she offered up sympathetically, "When she made that decision to sacrifice herself, I think she was aware of the fact that Scott was in good hands. She knew he'd be safe with you."

"If that's what she truly believed, then why torment him? Why turn him into what she did and leave him for dead?" Logan couldn't help, but ask with bitterness in his voice. "Even with Phoenix dominating her, why couldn't that part of her that wanted what was best for Scott emerge and save him? Why take him under when all he ever did was love her? If it was to get back at me for getting in the way of their relationship like I did, then why not destroy me? Why go after him when I tempted him? I left him no choice in the matter. I'm the one who played with Jean's emotions and…"

"I don't know why things happened like they did, but even now," she turned her attention to the computer monitor in front of her once again, "I have a hard time believing that Jean would hurt Scott. Even knowing of what happened before with you and Scott, she couldn't kill him. She might've hurt him, but Logan, it's very telling that she didn't destroy him. There was a part of her that held back-that gave him another chance for a life beyond our world. What if taking his powers was more about giving him the freedom he'd always longed for in his life-the chance to finally have the normal life that had evaded him for years instead of a punishment?"

"There's no way that…" Logan opened his mouth to protest her hypothesis.

"Logan, you weren't there when Scott and Jean were growing up together. You didn't see the love between them. Even if they fell out of love, Jean would never, ever do anything to hurt Scott. She's always tried to protect him, to save him from himself and he, in turn did the same with her. No matter how hurt she was, she isn't capable of this. They were the best of friends before they were lovers, so for me to believe that she became this cold, evil monster…" she choked up on her words, her thoughts of her friend consuming her.

"I'm not asking you to believe anything," he softened his tone, taking a step forward and placing a hand on her shoulder, "I'm not suggesting that you forget the woman Jean once was. I'm just trying to save Scott now."

"I know you are," she nodded wiping at the single tear that slipped down her cheek, "but I am too. To destroy Scott would go against everything Jean believed in. He was her world Logan. Sure, she might've been tempted by you just as he was. She told me as much, but even with that she loved Scott. She would've risked herself to keep him happy. Even when she knew that he had feelings for you, she was willing to step aside and…"

"Wait, what?" Logan's eyes widened with surprise.

"Scott's lousy at hiding his heart from those close to him," she continued with an ironic laugh, "and to think he could do so with a telepath in his life is beyond reproach. Jean saw the way he fell to pieces when you left us the first time. She knew that there was something more to the bickering between the both of you. She'd seen as much the first time you had her look inside your head."

"Wait a second," Logan shook his head in refusal to accept her words, "I've seen her journal. I know that she was just as shocked as anyone to learn that Scott and I were…"

"I'm not saying it didn't sting Logan because any woman would feel hurt to know that the lover she'd been with had moved on," she explained in a quiet voice. "To pretend that it being over was alright is simply unrealistic, but Jean came to terms with what was happening. She was ready to allow Scott the opportunity to sort himself out and…"

"No way," Logan argued with her, "I don't believe that. I've seen what she was capable of. I read her thoughts and…"

"Logan, if she was so bent on destroying Scott, then why would she do this?" she asked pushing a button on the keyboard to reveal a darkened video of the corridor outside of the medical wing at the school. "Explain this then if all Jean wanted was for Scott to suffer."

"What is it?" Logan questioned bending down to lean in over her shoulder, to take a look at the scene before him. "I don't understand."

"One of the students was doing a research project down in the medical wing," she explained keeping her eyes on the screen before her, "This was from the night Scott and Xavier were brought back. As you can see we were all in and out most of the night…"

Logan watched the screen before him seeing himself in silent torment, pacing around the hallway with fear, hoping to hear word on Scott's recovery. Storm pushed a button, cueing up footage of Logan and Hank bickering with one another with Logan demanding Hank to do what was needed to bring Scott back to them before he'd stomped off for air.

"Hank," Storm's voice had carried over the shaky audio of the recorded footage after Logan had retreated, "how does it look in there?"

"He's not going to make it," Hank had answered somberly, his face dropped with acceptance of the horrible truth. "As much as I want to tell Logan it's going to be alright, we'll be lucky if Scott pulls through the night."

"We need to tell him then. He has to be able to see Scott before…" tears carried over her words when she placed her hand on Hank's arm for support, "Why does this keep happening?"

"I wish I had the answers," Hank had replied pulling her into a tight embrace as they mourned the loss of their friend with one another.

"Why are you showing me this?" Logan's voice cracked with emotion, watching that moment when all hope was lost on Scott.

"Because it's what follows that proves what's been happening to Scott can't be about Jean hurting him," she shuffled through the footage again, going forward to a point after she and Hank had left the corridor prepared to give Logan the grim news about Scott's impending demise. It was then in those few seconds that followed that a static overtook the footage, causing it to bounce and shift on the screen before them.

"What's happening?" Logan asked worriedly, "Why is it doing that?"

"Just watch," she pointed to the monitor again when the screen returned to normal revealing the woman in the white lab jacket approaching the room Scott was in. Her hair was tied up neatly in a bow, but there was no mistaking the auburn tresses that carried over her when she reached into her pocket, withdrawing a vial. She hesitated still keeping her face from the camera's limited scope before depositing it into her pocket. She reached out pushing a few numbers on the security pad to gain access to the area. A moment later she entered the room Scott was in leaving the hallway empty again.

"No," Logan shook his head firmly, "there's no way that could've been…"

"Scott was gone Logan," Storm insisted with a tiny shiver of realization. "Hank wasn't sure how to break it to you, but with the damage that was done to him…there's no way that he could've pulled through that. He was about to be taken from our lives again until…"

She fell to silence when the video footage was consumed by static again. Logan squinted hearing the sound of high heeled shoes on the flooring, tapping until finally the picture came into view and the same auburn haired woman stepped into the elevators disappearing from the camera's view.

"The security cameras didn't pick up on any of this," Storm divulged taking in a breath, "which indicates that the intruder knew the layout of the school. She was well versed on how to get around without anyone questioning it. Then with how she was able to get into the secured area by pushing in a code…"

"She couldn't have. Jean's dead," Logan blinked at the screen, "I killed her myself."

"But even you've questioned what happened to her. Hank told me about how you've asked him to exhume her grave Logan because you weren't sure either," she gulped down hard, her breath coming out in an uneasy gasp, "but if this is proof that she's still out there…"

"I don't understand. None of us have seen her. We might've thought she was out there, yet aside from manifestations in our heads, she hasn't been at the school. I know I'd questioned it because of what's happening to Scott, but to see this…," Logan staggered backwards, taking a seat on the edge of the desk adjacent to the computer. "If Jean was still out there responsible for what's happening to Scott, then why would she…?"

"If this was Jean, she saved Scott that night Logan," Storm spun around to face him fully, her eyes divided by confusion and the unsettling realization that things didn't make sense any longer. "If she had wanted to hurt him or even destroy him, then why go to see him that night? Why bring him back from death's door?"

"We don't know that she was the one that…" Logan opened his mouth in protest thinking of the images he'd just witnessed.

"Face it Logan. Scott was gone, yet after she showed up, he was back with us again," she stated plainly, her lips curving downward in the beginnings of a scowl. "Before her arrival we were preparing to tell you he was taken from us for real this time, yet she shows up and…"

"He's healed," Logan finished for her with an uncertainty in his tone, "His injuries were practically erased in a few days and…"

"She saved him Logan. Regardless of whatever monster is lingering in Scott's mind, Jean brought him back from the other side. She couldn't allow him to die Logan, just like she couldn't destroy him the day at Alkali Lake. She wouldn't do that," she decided sitting up straighter in the seat. "It's not who she is."

"Maybe not, but if that's really Jean…" Logan stepped forward, clicking a few buttons to cue the footage back to the view of the woman's retreat, "then why is she hiding? If she doesn't mean Scott any harm, then why hasn't she let us know she's out there?"

"Why did Scott feel that hiding was his only option?" she countered with expectant eyes.

"Because he didn't feel he had any other alternative. He thought he was broken and…" Logan paused looking to the screen again, "If Jean's really out there, then where is she? Why hasn't she stepped forward to speak to one of us about what's happening to her?"

"I don't know. Maybe she's afraid…maybe she doesn't think we'll understand after what's happened with Phoenix," she admitted with a heaviness overtaking her features, "It doesn't make sense at all, but given all that's been happening, I think it's safe to say that she was trying to deliver a message to all of us."

"How do you figure?" Logan couldn't help, but ask watching her reach into her pocket.

"Because the night of the break in at the school one of the students found this," Storm raised her hand in the air to reveal the golden necklace she'd carried in her pocket. "It's Jean's."

Logan reached for it, seeing the golden phoenix before him, remembering the times Jean had worn the necklace in the past. She'd been buried with it, pulled together in some of her favorite clothing before the ceremony and laid to rest. Now as Logan held the necklace in his hand, realization dawned in upon him that Jean wasn't as far gone as he'd anticipated. Yes, he had been presented with questions in Scott's suffering, but now to see the necklace before him, smelling Jean's scent upon it, he felt an uneasiness build in the pit of his stomach.

"She had to have been behind the break in that night Logan. If she was, then it's clear that she was attempting to use Cerebro. She's one of the few people who have the capabilities to do so, but for what? Why sneak in like that when we would've welcomed her back?" she questioned revealing the thoughts that had weighed upon her mind. "If she was looking for Scott…"

"If she was seeking out Scott, then why not come to him directly? Why wait in hiding like she's done? She didn't make a move…still hasn't. Aside from the few invasions in his mind…" Logan began with an uneasiness in his tone.

"I've seen her in my dreams Logan," she confessed quietly, "They were vague, but she's been there a few times asking for help. She's been trying to tell me something…"

"Like with what's happening to Scott?" he couldn't help, but ask sensing her apprehension in revealing that secret to him.

"I thought it was my subconscious trying to deal with knowing she was gone, but now after seeing this," she paused motioning to the computer monitor once again, "What if she's been trying to tell us something? What if she's hoping to deliver us a message of sorts about where she is or…?"

"Has she said anything specific to you?" he inquired surprised by her confession. "Did she say something that…?"

"It's vague, but with you saying that Scott's being haunted by her, well, that lends to reason that maybe there's something more happening. I don't believe she's tormenting him because that's not the woman she was, but there's a possibility that she's still…" her words tapered off.

"Out there," Logan finished thinking about his own lingering thoughts over Jean's presence. He hesitated before speaking up again, "I've seen her in my dreams as well."

"You have?" she raised a curious brow.

"Not often and not to the degree in which Scott has been consumed by her memory, yet when Scott disappeared again after we reunited she was in my head," Logan divulged taking in a breath. He closed his eyes remembering the night that haunted him for so very long, "She was in my dream telling me to save Scott-saying that he wouldn't survive what was happening to him. That's when I knew that something was wrong. That's when I woke up and realized Victor had taken him. However, that's nothing like what Scott or I have seen in her now. She's dark, dangerous and…"

"Logan, if this footage is proof that Jean's still out there, then we need to find her. We need to bring her home and…" she mouthed with a newfound determination.

"If she's the one who has been tormenting Scott, then there's no way in hell I'm going to bring her back to him," Logan decided firmly, knowing of the visions that continued to haunt Scott. "If she's behind what's happening to him…"

"I don't believe that for a second. Yes Phoenix was consumed by madness, but not Jean," she shook her head decidedly, "She wouldn't wish that kind of misery on him willingly. I still believe there's something about when she took Scott's powers away from him that he's not telling us. Maybe he doesn't remember in detail or perhaps he's forgotten, but I don't for a second believe her intent was on killing him even if Phoenix was in control. I refuse to accept that…"

"If that's the case, then what's the alternative? If it's not Jean tormenting Scott and causing him all of this agony, then what's happening to him?" he questioned nervously, his fears mounting with each passing second when he looked to the paused video before him, "You said it yourself that you feel she's trying to deliver us a message."

"I don't think she would save Scott in order to simply tear him to pieces," she mouthed quietly.

"You haven't seen what's been happening to him," Logan answered solemnly, "but I can assure you Scott wouldn't do this on his own. He's close to being pushed past the point of no return."

"Jean wouldn't drive him mad. If I know nothing else about her, I know that the depths of her feelings for Scott wouldn't allow her to hurt him in such a fashion. It's not true to who she is," she decided standing firm in her position with him.

"If she's not inside of his head, then are you saying that Scott's losing his mind? That he's bringing this on himself?" Logan questioned with an uneasiness in his voice, "Truth be told as much as you believe Jean isn't able to cross this line, I know Scott isn't either. He wouldn't just create these demons in his mind. This isn't something that his guilt or anguish would lead him to. It's not who he is. He isn't capable of making the things happen that I've seen happening to him on his own Ororo. I know that much."

"I don't know what's happening with Scott, but whatever it is, we're going to have to get to the bottom of it," Storm replied tipping her head to look up at him.

"If I find out she's behind all of this, I'm not going to hesitate. This time I will finish the job…" he warned with a darkness in his voice. "If she's the one tearing him to pieces…"

"She's not," she argued with him.

"You don't know that and if she is then I'm telling you now I'm not going to stop until I know Scott's safe. Regardless of the history we have with her, it's not going to keep me from…" Logan opened his mouth in protest laying his cards on the table as a warning to her.

"It won't come to that Logan. We can save her this time. If she's behind all of this, we can find a way and…" she attempted to appeal to him.

"Famous last words," he groaned under his breath, "Face it we don't know what we're dealing with anymore. None of us have the first clue what's happening around us."

"Regardless, this goes all back to the notion that if Jean was there that night at the school Scott returned or even the night of the break in, then why didn't Xavier tell us? Why wouldn't he help us search for Jean? Why not let us know that there was a possibility that she could be…?" her words tapered off. "Scott could sense something was off, kept prompting Xavier to investigate, but the fact that he didn't say anything shows that…"

"Maybe he didn't know," Logan shrugged his shoulders. "I mean I'm not necessarily his biggest fan lately, but there's a possibility that he had no idea given that he wasn't even there or really even capable of comprehending what was happening on the night he and Scott were brought back to the school."

"I don't believe that," she confessed with a quiet tone, "There was something behind his eyes indicating otherwise…"

"Do you think it's possible that he knows where she is if that's really her?" Logan couldn't help, but ask contemplating the image he'd viewed moments earlier. "It's a pretty big leap to make the assumption that he's been well aware of all of this happening…"

"I know that we can't jump to any conclusions just yet," she sighed turning her attention to the computer screen again, "because this changes everything Logan. If she's out there, then we've just opened the door to more questions and not enough answers. If Jean stepped in to save Scott, then this theory that she's behind his pain seems null and void unless Scott is putting it upon himself because of his guilt."

"Scott's guilt has played a big part of the man he is, but it wouldn't bring him to this. Never to this," Logan's jaw clenched with uneasiness, "Whatever is happening to him is external. Someone is torturing him and when I find out who it is, well, it's not going to end well for them. That much I'm sure of."


	25. Chapter 25

Scott stretched out across the blankets, bringing his hand across the center of his chest to feel the soft material of his white t-shirt beneath his touch. With a yawn, he rolled over onto his side and reached out to the bed beside him only to discover pillows. Opening his eyes, a scowl touched over the corners of his mouth, bringing him to a disappointed sigh in realizing that Logan was no longer beside him. After the horrible nightmare that had consumed him earlier feeling Logan's arms around him would've been a refreshing change of pace. Rolling onto his back again, he let out a long sigh preparing to take a moment before fully awakening when he heard a sound just beyond the bedroom door. There was a familiar scent of perfume in the air, surrounding him with the feel of how out of place it was in the moment when his blue eyes snapped open again.

"Ororo," he mouthed in a raspy whisper, realization dawning in upon him.

"I thought I heard you moving up here," Storm's voice carried over his surprised response, causing him to sit upright on the bed. Bringing a hand up through his unruly, dark hair, he noticed the way she was standing in the archway to the bedroom eyeing him with a sympathetic expression, "How are you feeling?"

"Confused," Scott looked around the bedroom realizing that he was still in Ohio. He looked to her again seeing worry creased her brow making her look tired, restless in her moment of silent contemplation. It was then that another uneasiness overtook Scott, "What are you doing here? Where's Logan?"

"With Hank," she explained taking a tentative step into the bedroom, "they'll be back shortly."

"Where did they go?" Scott questioned fighting to suppress the yawn that threatened to spill from his lips. He ran his fingers through his hair tipping his head to the side and taking note of the time. For an instant, he thought of his glasses in the top drawer of the nightstand, remembering how he'd worked hard to deceive the world around him, leaving them to believe he was still the same, yet with her standing before him seeing the truth in his eyes he'd fought to shield from the world, he knew it was no use.

"They'll be back soon," she promised simply, revealing nothing of surprise in her voice over what she'd witnessed in him.

"Soon," he repeated with a small frown, knowing that cryptic answer held deeper meaning for what was to follow. Closing his eyes for a moment, he felt visions of his nightmare still lingering, consuming him in the waking hours. He could remember the man from the pub, the barn, the blood and… "It really happened, didn't it? That's why you're here because I screwed up again, didn't I? The things I dreamt about happened..."

"I'm here because we're worried about you Scott," she revealed in a smooth, patient tone. He could hear her footsteps crossing the room in closer to the bed, "Logan's worried about you as well."

"Because I'm losing my mind," Scott forced himself to face his friend, guilt weighing upon him in the moment. His eyelashes fluttered open, revealing the blue depths beneath the lids to her after having spent years in a crimson colored world, away from the things others had taken for granted time and time again, "That's why you're here. You know all about the chaos that's surrounded me-about what I did before…"

"Logan mentioned you've been suffering with headaches and experiencing things that you weren't before," she answered quietly, her face still revealing nothing of her thoughts to him, "He said that you've been seeing visions of Jean and other things…"

"I know it sounds crazy," he sighed bracing himself for her reaction in knowing the truth. Unable to meet her eyes, he looked away, focusing on the white carpeting on the floor beyond the bed. The moonlight from outside filtered it's way into the bedroom through the still open blinds indicating beyond the time that he'd lost more than a few hours after his run with Logan. Still in remembering the things he'd experienced back at the pub, he couldn't help, but tremble with recall, "but she's still here Ororo. She's been coming to me, saying things and…"

"I believe that you've been seeing that in your mind Scott," she carefully sat down on the edge of the bed placing a hand on his leg supportively, "I know you've been tormented by what's been weighing on you…"

"Jean's only the beginning," Scott explained drawing in a nervous breath. Letting out an ironic laugh, Scott brought his fingers to his hair again. He shifted his finger tips through the damp locks, struggling to find an answer to the problems that had been surrounding him. However, unlike all of the strategic plans he'd carried with him through the years, he'd been unsuccessful in coming to logic over what was happening in the dark corners of his mind, "It began with her yes, but now it's getting worse. Now every time she comes to me, it's more violent, frantic…"

"Violent," she repeated causing him to let out a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding.

"The violence gives her power," he explained drawing in another uneasy breath, "It's as if she feeds on the fear, misery and confusion. It surrounds her-us-me…I don't know, but it's there. It's all consuming and there's no escaping it."

"What happened at the pub Scott?" she asked directly meeting his eyes again.

"All hell broke loose inside of me and I found myself feeding on the wrath," he divulged guiltily, his words a shallow whisper of a breath, "It was too much power. It was too strong…too overwhelming. The madness was everywhere surrounding me, inside of me, consuming logic and reason. I tried to fight it, but eventually I knew I couldn't control it. It hurt to struggle, felt like it was ripping into me, tearing at my subconscious so the only alternative was to let go and give in to it. I knew instinctually that I didn't want to, but it was beyond what I wanted. It was about what she needed…about what I needed in the moment."

"To let it out?" she questioned causing him to nod shamefully.

"To be consumed by it," he divulged quietly.

She paused before speaking up again, "Logan said you both were out together before it happened, but then you disappeared."

"There was a man that came into the pub. At first I'd thought nothing about it, but when I heard his voice…when I'd found myself surrounded by the sound it triggered something inside of me," he bit back on his words, fighting to keep his emotions in check. He cleared his throat, attempting to stay calm when the memory coiled through his body, drawing out the moments he'd fought to abandon again and again, "I knew within an instant that he was someone that worked for Stryker-one of the monsters that…"

"What?" she questioned causing him to stiffen beneath her touch in an involuntary need to keep from the memory, to push the madness away before it wormed it's way inside again.

"It doesn't matter," Scott finally blurted out behind gritted teeth. Pushing the blanket off of him, he kicked his legs over the other side of the bed before getting out of it and attempting to move around on shaky legs, "regardless of who he was, I know had no right to do what I did. I should've fought harder because I've spent years practicing control in my life. I've known early on that if I didn't adhere to the practice of keeping it together, then all hell would break loose. There was no excuse for what happened and if that's why Logan called you here, then I'm ready to face the consequences of what I've done."

"What is it you think you've done?" she asked worriedly, her tone attempting to be comforting as he felt her eyes upon him. He kept his back to her instead continuing to pace around the room with an uncertainty in his stride.

"I screwed up," he approached the window looking out to the world beyond the walls of his home, "I see that now and I know there's no escaping it. Some things simply can't be buried no matter how hard you try to pretend it's so."

"Burying the past behind secrets and lies can breed chaos," she explained knowingly, "trying to ward off demons on your own isn't necessary any longer Scott because you have all of us. We're here for you as your family."

"I don't deserve any of you," he sighed, his lips parted in protest, "Maybe I never did. Xavier should've left me to face this on my own…"

"That's nonsense talking Scott," she snapped back at him, disapproval heavy in the thickness of her tone. "You know as well as I do that you're needed. You're an important part of all of our lives and…"

"From the start I knew that I failed them just like I failed Jean," his fingers balled up into fists at his sides before releasing them. Reaching out he touched the glass of the window before him feeling the cool of the panel offering a deep contrast against his heated skin, "I realize that I should've helped them-should've saved them all sooner before the monsters were able to destroy them. This is my penance for failure back then…"

"Scott, you're not making any sense right now," she couldn't help, but frown. He didn't have to look at her to hear it in her voice. She wasn't happy with him either. It was clear in the way she'd come to him, arrived in Ohio to deal with the problems he'd created. Logan must've realized Scott was beyond reproach, well past the point of no return and now Storm was there to help clean up the mess that Scott had made-to work to avoid the possible backlash that would result in Scott's negligent use of powers.

"When Xavier found me I didn't fight harder for the other mutants in captivity," Scott answered somberly, allowing his guilt to linger, "I knew they were suffering, but I was so caught up in my own fears that it didn't dawn in on me that they needed more. They should've had more, but I was weak."

"You did save them Scott. When Stryker had you held captive, you brought a great many of our kind to freedom and safety," she argued with him once again sparking an uneasiness in Scott's mind.

"But not all of them," Scott turned around to face her with pain twisting his features. His jaw flexed with emotion, teeth clenching as a sigh rolled from his lips into his words, "I could hear their screams, feel their pain in my head Ororo. The testing was only the beginning for some of them in what they endured. When Jean came to me she showed me what they'd experienced, she made me feel it all over again. I'd shut that part of myself off, but the more she showed me, the more I realized I couldn't keep pretending it wasn't there. With every breath I took, I could see their misery, could feel it eating away inside of me beyond my own pain. I couldn't escape them. The memory was so strong and…"

"You felt you needed to react to it," she stood up, tentatively taking a step towards him, "Scott, was Jean telling you to do something? Did she force you to react to what you saw? Was she there when you were…?"

"I told you she's inside of me," Scott divulged in an uneasy whisper, his lower lip trembling with the confession, "She's always been inside of me, but lately…"

"I know the both of you shared a bond, a psychic link before…" she noted when he shook his head.

"It runs deeper than that," Scott waved his hands around in the air unable to hold back on the anguish that carried over him, "She's inside of me. She's seen my darkness and knows of all my failures. She's seen how weak I've been, how far from being a leader I was. She knows everything…"

"Scott," she opened her mouth to protest, but he wouldn't allow it.

"She's tearing me to pieces and even though I know it sounds crazy, she's done things to me. She's changed me. Maybe it's stemmed from my fears and memories, but it doesn't end there," his lower lip trembled in confession, "That day at the lake, I thought it was over-that she'd finally extracted her revenge for how I'd betrayed her, but then everything changed. In time I accepted everything was different-that I was 'normal', but then all of this happened and now, well, you can see what remains of the mess I've made…"

"We're here to help you Scott," she promised with encouragement in her tone, "When you return to the school we'll do everything we can to…"

"No," Scott shook his head firmly, "I'm not going back. I can't. I have no business being there especially not around the children. Ororo, I'm dangerous and if nothing else Logan must've showed you that. You must've seen that I can't stop it when it starts."

"He said that you were confused, that you were upset, but that doesn't mean that you are…" she opened her mouth to protest, clearly attempting to coax him from the twisted sense of reality he surrounded himself with.

"I almost killed a man Ororo," he spoke up behind shaky words knowing the truth couldn't be erased even if he'd hoped things were different, "If Logan hadn't stopped me when he did, then there's no telling what I would've done. I was so full of rage, so ready to make him pay for what he did to the others…what he did to me. Jean kept goading me, telling me I was weak…that I had to fight back…I had to show him that he couldn't hurt me anymore…"

"Scott," she replied quietly.

"I remember Ororo. I remember every horrible thing they did to me," Scott admitted painfully knowing of the past he couldn't escape, "I can feel every hint of torture they put me through, can hear their voices when they were enjoying what they did. Everything is back again and I can't shut it off. It's as if I'm reliving it over and over again with each passing second. There is so much pain, so much agony and death surrounding me. I can hear the screams of others that were left behind-that weren't able to fight back, but it doesn't stop there. I feel Logan's pain as well."

"Logan's?" she blinked back at him.

"I'm immersed in it, surrounded by his nightmares, by his pain to the point that I can't help, but feel it. I witnessed what they did to him all those years ago because I can see things now Ororo," he took a small step in closer to her, his words shaky and uneven with his stride.

"How so?" she asked tentatively.

"I feel things that I was never meant to feel, things that I was never meant to know. Jean did this to me. She turned me into something else-something that I can't get a hold on. She's given me great power, but with it comes a heavy burden-one that I can't escape. I don't know if it's what she lived with each day, but with me I know things that I shouldn't, feel things that I normally wouldn't and…" he explained with a tiny shiver carrying over his body, his lips parting in a breath before recovering.

"What kind of things?" she asked worriedly. He watched her eyes widen before him, her cool and collected demeanor shifting with worry and uncertainty in what he was saying to her.

"Things no one would ever want to share. Things that weren't meant to be said," he reached out to her grabbing her wrist in a quick, jerking movement suddenly consumed by a curiosity that wasn't his own. He was overtaken by an urge to see what she was doing there, by a voice compelling him to seek out the truth in what was ahead for him now that the world knew of his situation, "Let me show you."

"Scott," she breathed his name when the rush of energy started to pass between them. Her lips parted, breath coming out in a small, urgent gasp when he tightened his hold on her, his mind searching hers for a long, uncomfortable moment. Their eyes connected and for a few seconds they shared an exchange of thoughts, her worries and concerns pressing into him, showing him of what she knew of his situation. He could see her and Hank arriving, could hear their voices as they spoke to Logan, watched them go over their theories until finally she and Logan settled into Scott's office to watch something on a disk she brought with her.

"Scott let go," she attempted to wrench her hand away from him when the sensation became overwhelming. There was a disturbance in the room causing the lamp on the nightstand to ascend above it's resting place, moving freely around the room in an effortless dance, "Scott!"

"What is it? Why are you really here?" he asked darkly feeling his breath grow labored when he closed his eyes taking in the sight of the computer monitor turning on, felt her cuing up whatever footage was on the disk, but before he could watch it further in her memory, she shoved him away from her. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Don't!" she snapped, her voice firm and authoritative as she fought for breath. Her eyes widened with shock when the lamp crashed down to the ground. Her lips parted in a moment of contemplation before she stood taller, her posture offering up a silent warning for Scott to keep back.

"I told you I was dangerous," Scott conceded moving away from her, "You can see the things I can do now…"

"How?" she questioned rubbing her wrist where his fingers had touched her.

"Jean," he blurted out with an ironic laugh, "there's no other explanation. As I said before she's done something to me Ororo. She's turned me into this and I can't shut it off even if I try. I can't stop from feeding on it. Even when I try to avoid it, something triggers it and it's too strong…"

"You need help Scott," she concluded creasing her brow with a frown, "You can't keep avoiding that inevitable outcome especially when you're facing all of this. If what you're experiencing goes beyond what you just showed me…"

"What can anyone do for me?" he turned his back to her, fighting to suppress his own fears in the moment. "I'm out of control and I see that. Logan tries to tell me that I'm not, but I know he's lying to me. I feel it in his words when he says them. I see the pity in his eyes when he looks at me…"

"He loves you Scott," she spoke up quietly, "He told me as much, which you've just seen yourself."

"He loves the idea of what I could be, but the man that I am now, I don't deserve him," Scott lowered his head somberly, "I don't deserve any of this. Maybe Jean was right. I'm weak."

"No," she answered stubbornly, "you aren't weak Scott and self-pity is beneath you."

"This isn't about self-pity. This is about self-preservation as well as the safety of the others. Look what I just did to you in touching you. I was able to enter your mind with minimal effort and…," he wrapped his arms around his torso, fighting to erase the chill that carried over him.

"You didn't hurt me Scott," she mouthed in an attempt to pull him from himself, "You just surprised me in doing that without any warning."

"You were terrified. I felt it when you pulled away. I could see it in your face," he argued with her, "Even now I know you're not sure about whether or not you want to be in the same room with me."

"I know you Scott. I've known you for years and this, well, it's not what you are," she stood taller, refusing to back down on the issue, "Yes, maybe it's unexpected, but with some training and under controlled conditions perhaps you can gain a grasp on it. You can relearn how to channel it into something that…"

"That what? That's less invasive? Not so destructive?" he inquired with a pitiful laugh. "Face it the further I am away from everyone the safer they will be."

"No, that's where you're wrong. That's the coward's way out Scott," she snapped back at him furiously, "and you're no coward. You've always been the first person to stand up and fight for what was right. You've always tried to gain clarity and insight going against the grain even if it meant doing it against your own personal desire. Time and time again you've put the search for the truth above the doubt, so don't start giving into it now."

"Ororo, I almost killed a man. I tore up a parking lot and I'm seeing visions of my dead ex-fiancée. I'm hearing her in my head, she's telling me things. She's trying to convince me not to trust anyone, not to hold onto who I am and to embrace what she wants me to be. I'm remembering the way that I failed her-knowing that I destroyed her. I read her journal and I know that she was disappointed in me. I know that she was disgusted by what I'd done to her in giving myself to Logan and…" he continued in a desperate outburst. "I know that everything that's happening is a direct result of how I let Jean down in the worst possible way. If I'd only been stronger, then everyone wouldn't have suffered as they did. This could've been stopped before we lost her. If I would've found a way…"

"Scott, listen to yourself. You're talking nonsense," she interrupted with a shake of her head, "None of us could've predicted what was happening with her and…"

"I knew she was haunted. I saw her when she was surrounded by her nightmares, but I did nothing to change them. I only pushed her further over the edge by lusting over Logan. She has every right to take me under…"

"You don't believe that and neither do I," she mouthed sourly, "Regardless of how you feel about Logan, Jean wouldn't do this to you Scott. You know as well as I do that she loved you…"

"No she didn't," he shook his head in disbelief, "she never loved me Ororo. She never believed I could give her what she wanted, what she needed. I was too young, too inexperienced in life to understand what her heart craved. I tried and failed her. I disappointed her and in that disillusionment she fell to pieces…"

"She wanted you to be true to yourself Scott," she explained with a heavy sigh, "Above all else she wanted you to be happy. Yes, maybe you and Logan threw her for a loop when she found you both together like she did, but it doesn't mean that she would've wanted you to be miserable."

"You mean you knew that we…?" Scott's eyes widened with surprise. "She told you that she saw us…?"

She nodded, "She didn't get detailed, but I could see something was bothering her the day Logan returned. When we were away with one another she started talking about you. When she started hinting at Logan's presence in your life, well, I read between the lines and figured that it meant you and Logan had just as soon stopped fighting what was happening between you."

"You saw that Logan and I were…?" he bit down on his lower lip nervously. Thinking back to his beginnings with Logan, he remembered how he'd tried to be discreet with what was happening. Hiding it from Jean had been difficult, but with everyone else, he'd thought that he'd been a well guarded man, keeping his feelings in check.

"Anyone with eyes could see that you and Logan were dancing around something with one another. First everyone thought it was hate, but when we lost Jean that first time I knew," she admitted bringing one hand up through her hair, "When you fell into his arms there weren't any doubts in my mind about what had been taking place. Everything Jean said made sense after that."

"She hated me, didn't she?" Scott questioned somberly feeling the answer overwhelming him in Jean's torment, "That's what she told you when you were with her, right?"

"On the contrary, she told me that she loved you Scott and that she wanted you to be happy," she explained gently, "She said that loving you had taught her so very much. She knew that you'd sacrificed so many things through the years. She knew that you'd put your own desires and needs on hold for the greater good, but it didn't erase the things you'd longed for. She knew that you'd always hoped for a family, for a life beyond the one you were given in the beginning…"

"She wanted those things too. I promised her that life," he remembered feeling exhaustion carry over his limbs. Walking over to the bed, he took a seat upon the edge and dropped his head shamefully, "I swore to give her the world, but my selfishness took it away from her. I betrayed her in the worst possible way and now to be haunted by my demons is penance for my crime."

"No," she snapped, seeing him bury his face in his hands. Walking over to him she reached out to touch his shoulder, "Scott, she would want you to be happy. She would want you to have a life with Logan-one that wasn't surrounded by all of this pain."

"You haven't heard her Ororo. You haven't seen what she's shown me. She's stealing my sanity little by little and even when I try fighting, I know that I have no right to deny her what she needs. I denied her a life of happiness so in having her steal mine…," Scott raised his chin up just enough to meet her eyes again.

"Jean wouldn't do that Scott. She wouldn't want to see you like this," she explained with concern in her voice. She inched in closer to him, her eyes filled with the pity Scott had feared would follow his actions. "She couldn't do this to you."

"She can't help herself. I know that, but it doesn't change what's happening to me. It isn't stopping what she's doing," Scott's words were a low, raspy whisper of agony. He dropped his head down shamefully, "You don't see what she surrounds me with each day…"

"She saved your life Scott," she knelt down before him. Reaching up to touch his cheek, she coaxed him to look at her once again, "I know it won't make sense when I tell you that, but what you didn't see…what you were about to see when I shut you out was that she came to you the night you almost died. She was at the school in the medical ward downstairs. She snuck in and…"

"What?" Scott's eyes widened with surprise. "Jean's really alive?"

"So it would seem," she nodded with an uneasiness in her tone, "We aren't completely certain yet, but on the video footage it looked like she was there."

"No," Scott choked up on his words thinking about what the could mean to the future. After torturing himself for so very long about her death, it couldn't be true that Jean was really there. In his head it fueled his madness, but in the flesh felt like a stretch even though he'd contemplated it time and time again. "No, that's not possible. Jean wouldn't do that. Even if she's still out there she wouldn't save me. She couldn't…she's…"

"I don't know what she did that night Scott, but we thought we were going to lose you. All signs were pointing to you leaving this world, yet when she arrived something changed," she admitted cautiously, "For those few minutes she was in there with you it shifted everything around. You came back to us and…"

"But how? Why would she do that when…?" Scott shook his head in refusal, "Jean's been tormenting me from the moment she took my powers away. She's been giving me the punishment she feels I deserve and…"

"She didn't kill you Scott," Storm reminded him sharply, "and although I won't deny the agony that you've endured in having to be without your powers, you were still here. You were able to move on creating a life for yourself without fear of our world. You were free. After years of being caged behind the masks you wore, you were able to see the sun, to experience life as you'd always dreamt about. Surely that says something about Jean, does it not?"

"It all happened so fast at the lake," Scott closed his eyes again, remembering when his world started to crumble, "I could feel her anger and rage. I knew that she was furious-that somehow she had to have known about Logan and by taking me away…"

"She might've put a crimp on those plans for you and Logan, but when she stripped you of your powers you survived. You kept fighting and pushing forward," she reminded him simply, "Instead of turning back, you sought out that life you'd told Jean you'd longed for. You walked away from the team and began anew."

"I did what was necessary to protect everyone else," Scott explained drawing in a breath, "In going back I would only prove to be a weakness, a liability for everyone because without my powers I would take everyone down. I couldn't help any longer, so…"

"After you saw her at the lake, what happened Scott?" she asked straight to the point, "I know what you built up after, but after the two of you were together, where did you go from there? How did you get away?"

"Away?" he blinked back at her.

"That's right," she nodded, "before you came here to Ohio, how did you find your way out here?"

"I…" Scott bit down on his lower lip, straining to return to the memory, "I was with Jean. She kissed me and my powers were drained. I remember fighting against her, trying to break free, but then I felt weak. My knees were shaky and…"

"Then what?" she prompted further, "What happened next Scott? Logan and I rushed out there to the lake almost as soon as Xavier sensed the disturbance, but we didn't find you. We saw her, but you were gone. We missed you somehow because you weren't around and…"

"There was darkness," Scott struggled to remember the turn of events that followed, "I remember crashing to the ground and then…"

"Yes?" she inquired in an attempt to pull the memory from him.

"I don't know," Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth. "I can't remember."

"You said it yourself that you remember everything now Scott. You can see things that you didn't before," she coaxed him on further, "so you must have some recollection in between the time you were lost at the lake and the time you wound up out here. There must be something."

"There was just Jean and…" he stopped himself, fighting to contain the sense of nothingness that stirred in his subconscious. "I…I was…"

"Scott, I started looking into your life out here after you returned. Once I saw that you were experiencing something you weren't willing to share with us, I needed to know. I had to see how it was that we missed you when Logan and I were both so desperate to find you," she tipped her head to the side, refusing to meet his eyes when guilt racked down upon her, "I know it was invading your privacy, but I just had to be thorough. I needed to see…"

"You were spying on me?" he couldn't help, but let out an ironic laugh.

"Checking in on you," she clarified, "and as awful as it sounds at the time I had the best of intentions. Even now all I was hoping for was clarity and understanding so that I could reach you."

"By snooping on me," he groaned, "you know a part of me should be furious, but now you've got me curious Ororo. Just what did you suddenly discover about me?"

"That there was a three month time span between when we lost you at the lake and when you arrived here," she divulged still crouching down on the floor beneath him, "During that time period before you purchased the house and took the job there's nothing on you Scott. You were under the radar…"

"I tried to be," he shrugged, rolling his shoulders back, "I didn't want to burden anyone or…"

"So where were you then?" she questioned with heavy scrutiny in her tone. "What were you doing for those three months? On second thought tell me how you left the lake, how you weren't there when we arrived. Were you hiding?"

"I don't remember," Scott answered firmly, "I already told you that."

"Yet you said you remember everything Scott. You told me yourself from the moment Jean ripped your powers away from you that she's been in your head," she continued to press the issue further. "Your memories have been filtering in and…"

"I don't remember," he raised his voice with a snap. "There was Jean and darkness."

"And the house?" she stood up, looking around at their surroundings, "How did you find it? What made you select this one?"

"It was private," he shrugged his shoulders, "Secluded and away enough from everything that I wasn't ready to face."

"What was the name of your realtor Scott? Who helped you find it?" she questioned eyeing him once again.

"I found it myself," he dismissed her concerns, "I don't see what that has to do with anything considering that…"

"You did the paperwork all on your own?" she folded her arms in front of her chest, "Because while you're incredible with numbers I didn't realize you'd turned to brokering as well. What about the firm you were with? How did you have the credentials to present them with after losing everything?"

"I don't know," he threw his hands in the air, "What does it matter? It doesn't hold any weight upon what's happening now. The way I see it everything that's happened…"

"Can't be answered simply by Jean being behind it when you don't know where you were for three months of your life Scott. You disappeared to the world around you, to yourself and you can't tell me that hasn't bothered you," she continued to lash out at him.

"I wasn't aware of it until you pointed it out," his lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl. "I'd just settled into what I was dealt when…"

"You believed Jean was the one who created this for you. You still think she's the one behind the torment and the powers, but what if it's not Jean? What if someone wanted you to believe it was Jean so that you would return to your guilt? So that you would be more susceptible to their manipulations?" she paced around the bedroom, her thoughts getting the best of her. "What if everything that's been happening has been part of a slow, calculated plan that someone's put together to pull you to pieces? To tear us apart?"

"Why would someone do that?" he couldn't help, but groan outwardly, "Jean's the only one who would want to see me burn for how I hurt her. Regardless of how she felt for me, I betrayed her and Phoenix isn't forgiving."

"No Phoenix wasn't, but there are other things out there that have challenged our very existence Scott," she added worriedly, "Things that took Jean from us, that have changed both you and Xavier and what if our being up in arms with one another is part of the master plan? What if whomever is behind all of this wants us to wage war within ourselves?"

"What would they have to gain in doing that? Why would anyone want to move in on me when I was nothing after Jean drained me of my powers? Why would I be of interest when…?" Scott asked impatiently.

"Look at you now Scott. Look what you've become and ask yourself if you can say with a clear conscience that Jean was capable of enough power to make all of this happen," she reiterated with another shake of her head, "Face it Scott, someone out there is pulling your strings, maybe even Xavier's as well and something tells me if we can examine those three months you were without your memory, then we'll find our answers."

"What about Jean? I'm seeing her and if you said she was there the night I almost died," Scott bit back on his words, thinking about what it would mean to discover Jean was alive, still out there in the shadows and hiding from him and the others, "then how…?"

"Maybe she knows something that we don't. Perhaps whatever is happening to you has happened to her as well. What if someone's been tormenting her? Forcing her to do this?"

"To drive me crazy," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "Then they've put a whole hell of a lot of effort into it Ororo."

"Maybe they have, but you and I both know if it's a possibility, then we can't ignore it. If Jean's out there, then we have to find her and bring her back to us," she softened her voice, her gaze lingering to him once again.

"And because I'm linked to her, you think I'm the one to do it, don't you?" he sighed and cleared his throat, "On second thought, don't answer that. I know you feel that way."

"If we can help her, then we can help you Scott. By easing her demons we'll be able to stifle yours," Storm attempted to appeal to him once again, "We can be like we were before. Things can finally be as they should be."

"I'm not what I was before," Scott answered without hesitation, "Even if we can make the nightmares stop, it doesn't mean that she'll be any less disappointed in me. I can't change who I am. I can't stop loving Logan even if I know I'm not good for him. I can't give Jean what I promised her."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm simply trying to remind you that we're supposed to be in this for each other. We're supposed to cover one another's back in times of war and that's what I believe we have on our hands Scott," she finished with a disconcerted tone overtaking her, "We're at war with one another and the world around us. The longer we stay in opposite corners splitting apart, the harder it's going to be to pull it all together again."

"What if we're not meant to be together again?" he tossed back flippantly, "What if the time has passed?"

"We're X-Men Scott," she reminded him sharply, "Our time as a team is far from being over. Regardless of the disappointments or heartbreak we share, we still remain strong as a unit-as a family. Through the good and the bad we keep fighting for what we believe in, for the safety and the preservation of our kind so that one day the next generation can live in peace and not know of the prejudices that we've all had to face."

"You're taking to quoting me now," Scott couldn't help, but let out an ironic laugh, "Now I know you're getting desperate."

"And you're behaving like a stubborn ass in fighting the inevitable solution to our problems Scott," she took a seat on the bed beside him. Reaching out to place her hand on top of his, she offered up a gentle squeeze, "I know you and I haven't always seen eye to eye Scott, but you've been like a brother to me, like a stubborn, impossible, rigid brother with his own linear views on what action should be taken time and time again, but when it gets down to it whether we are in accordance with one another or not, we've always stood by each other. We've always shared the same ideals and fought for what we believed in. We've always known that there were some things in life worth pushing forward to achieve even if the risk was high. Together, united we've been able to accomplish so very much…"

"We have," Scott agreed lacing his fingers in hers, "and we still have so very much ahead of us, don't we?"

"If we're losing Xavier to this as well, then we both know there's only one person that can turn this around and it's you Scott. If those lost months can hold the key to what's happening in your subconscious-to what's happening to Xavier or even Jean, then why shouldn't we try to find a way to fix this? Why wouldn't we want to seek out the answers?"

"The truth isn't always something that will set you free Ororo. You of all people can understand that," he sighed feeling his resistance slipping away.

"Maybe not, but perhaps we'll find a way to fix this, to bring things back to what they should've been," she whispered unable to hold back on the tears that threatened to reveal themselves to him, "Please don't fight us on this. Come back to the school and help us pull it together again. I swear to you that we'll stand by you every step of the way and do everything in our power to make things right again. We won't give up on you and let you down again like we did before."

"I'm the one that let all of you down in turning away like I did when we lost Jean," Scott answered somberly, his hold on her fingers constricting, "but I promise you I'm going to turn this around. I'll do what's right for everyone Ororo even if I'm not certain it's what you all need."

"So then you're saying you'll return? That you'll explore that time you lost?" she asked hopeful.

He nodded again, "I can't promise what we find at the end of the journey will be something we can live with, but I'll try. If it will help the others, then I'll put my pity party aside to be what they deserve, what they need."

"We just need you to be you Scott. That's all we could ever ask for and if along the way we can help our fallen teammates, then that's even better," she revealed the beginnings of a small smile.

"If Jean's out there, we'll find her and save her," Scott promised without hesitation, "I won't let her down again."

Xxxxx


	26. Chapter 26

"I don't feel comfortable with any of this Logan," Hank divulged when Logan pulled the car into park. They sat outside of the abandoned barn Logan had pulled Scott out of earlier in the midst of his madness. "This isn't what I'd agreed to when you called me out here. I should be checking in on Scott and trying to decipher the root of his torment."

"He'll be alright in Ororo's watch," Logan decided pulling the keys out of the ignition and turning to his friend, "but this can't wait. I knew that you were the only person who could help me with this one."

"You have no idea how many of my moral codes this goes against especially in what you told me about how this played out," Hank sighed, reluctantly getting out of the car to look at the darkened, depleted structure before him.

"I realize that and I wouldn't have asked unless there weren't any alternatives," Logan paused taking in a breath, "I know I could've done this differently, but…"

"But what?" Hank tipped his head to the side when Logan spoke up again.

"Killing him right then wouldn't make Scott hurt any less," Logan replied with a tiny shiver, "In the past I would've done it without hesitation. Hell, I'd wanted to. I wanted to tear him to pieces for what he's done to Scott-for the things that I'll never be able to erase for Scott from that time in his life. I was ready to react, to push forward and unleash my fury, but…"

"But what?" Hank questioned.

"I knew if I did, then we'd never get the answers we needed out of him as much as I hated to admit that," Logan released a small breath, "Even if he's no longer tied to Victor, this man holds the key to Scott's past…to mine even. He knows things and keeping him alive for now seemed like the only logical thing to do. The only thing is that I couldn't pump him for information with Scott around. Scott's reaction to him was too intense, too powerful for him and I to do this together…"

"That's because if this man played a hand in the trauma Scott endured before Xavier found him, then I wouldn't anticipate anything other than chaos to follow," Hank revealed with a hesitation in his voice.

"What was he like?" Logan couldn't help, but ask worriedly, "With Scott…when he first arrived at the school, what happened to him?"

"He was in bad shape Logan," Hank divulged as they stood outside of the barn with one another, "Physically a lot of the wounds had healed from his time in captivity, but he was consumed by night terrors. They were so prevalent that Xavier feared Scott was killing himself with the fear that surrounded him. They didn't ease up over time, but rather intensified, getting worse until Scott couldn't escape them in the waking hours…"

"Like what's happening now?" Logan questioned thinking about Scott's torment. "Are you saying that you believe he's simply regressed to what he was before when they abducted him?"

"No," Hank shook his head firmly, "Scott was fighting to keep it together back then, lost inside of himself, but the only one he was hurting was himself. He didn't lash out at others. He was afraid of his powers, refusing to use them for any reason. He kept it all inside, buried deep and under tight reigns unlike any of what's going on here. He was simply surrounded by fear. He didn't sleep, wouldn't eat, wouldn't talk much to anyone around him. He closed himself down completely, which is why Xavier decided to try to help him."

"Chuck put the wall in his mind to protect him, but now that it's gone…," Logan hesitated feeling an uneasiness in the pit of his abdomen, "do you think it's going to happen all over again? Am I losing Scott to his fears?"

"I don't know," Hank reply sympathetically, "I'd like to say that what happened back then isn't at all tied into what's happening now, but something's changed. From what you said Scott's grip on reality seems to be slipping away each day…"

"He wasn't afraid until after we returned to the school," Logan deduced with an uneasy breath, "Not until after Victor abducted him again. When Victor almost took him from me…"

"It obviously triggered something else inside of him," Hank agreed with Logan's assessment. "It may very well have been the beginning of the wall crumbling and the first step on this downward spiral he's on…"

"Do you…do you know what happened with him and Victor the first time around? Did Scott ever say what Victor had done to him? If he had…" Logan bit back on his words knowing the depths of destruction Victor had been capable of.

Hank shook his head, "Scott never spoke to any of us about what happened. He simply surrounded himself with the memories, buried in the nightmares for the first few months he was with us. He stayed to himself, kept away from everyone, trying to place a distance between himself and the rest of us. If it hadn't been for Xavier fighting to help him reclaim his life, then there's no telling where he could've wound up. He just pulled back for so long until Xavier and Jean…"

"Jean?" Logan repeated looking to Hank again, "What about Jean?"

"She took to him almost immediately," Hank divulged rubbing his hands together, "They were inseparable after a while. Once Xavier started working with Scott, he and Jean were drawn to one another. Maybe it's because they both had their own demons to face, but whatever it was, they were always together."

"Until I stepped in and destroyed that for them," Logan felt a wave of guilt carry over him.

"It was a long time ago Logan," Hank paused contemplating his words before speaking up again, "but that's not really what I wanted to discuss with you. Look, I know we have to get in there and check things out, but since you mentioned Scott's past, there was something I thought you should know about-something that I only recently discovered…"

"What is it?" Logan turned to look at him.

"I didn't want to discuss this in front of Ororo, but because I've been reviewing Scott's medical records lately, doing blood work and the such on him, I've noticed an anomaly with him," he lowered his voice, "one that I haven't seen in a very long time."

"What kind of anomaly? Hank, if you've discovered something that's wrong with Scott medically, then you need to tell me. You need to say what you…" Logan snarled with worry, his body tensing up with his friend's admission.

"Genetically he's changing," Hank blurted out with an uneasiness in his voice, "Something is very different, but looking back further at his medical records I'm thinking that it was there for a while laying dormant. Perhaps he'd always carried it with him or maybe it was a direct result of the experimentation that Stryker did upon him during his time in captivity. Still back then it wasn't of any significance when he arrived at the school, but now…"

"What was there?" Logan gulped down hard. "Do you think it has to do with his new powers?"

"Some of them," Hank nodded in confession, "Over the last couple of months it's spiked in him. At first I didn't think anything of it, but with the last results of his blood work, I really saw the change…"

"What kind of change? What are we looking at?" Logan prompted Hank for answers. "What's happening to Scott? If you think you've got an answer that goes beyond this thing with Jean and his past…?"

"I think it's incorporated into his past," Hank finally admitted facing Logan fully, "There's something that was in him when he was brought to the school to begin with. From what I read in the charts, it was there for a while, but then it simply stopped showing up on his blood panel over time. It worked it's way out of his system and seemed to be gone completely, but in the recent months it's returned. It's intensified and…"

"Lay it on me Hank. Forget the technical jargon and just tell me what's going on with Scott so we can fix this," Logan insisted with a heavy scowl, "What's changed in him Hank?"

"You," Hank's words fell from his lips tightly, "You've changed him Logan."

"Me?" Logan blinked back at him with a moment of offense in his tone. "Look just because Scott and I are together now, it doesn't mean that's behind the madness that's consumed him. I know a lot of people have made assumptions about who I am and what being in relationship with me could entail for someone like Scott, but…"

"Logan, that's not what I'm trying to…" Hank opened his mouth to explain himself.

"I'm not doing this to Scott by being in love with him. What's happening in his head is clearly the result of something darker than falling in love with me. And in regards to his wanting to be with me, well, I'm sure deep down a part of him was always curious about…"

"Not like that," Hank couldn't help, but roll his eyes, "I'm speaking from a medical stand point, not about sexual orientation."

"Fine, then I don't understand. What are you saying?" Logan folded his arms in front of his chest.

"I started looking into Scott's new adaptive abilities, specifically the healing factor that's become a part of who he is now," Hank cleared his throat again, his eyes shifting to the ground in front of him, "and there's something very common between the both of you it would seem."

"Such as?" Logan raised a curious brow.

"Given that the two of you are connected on an intimate level, if I were to take a bit of an educated guess I would imagine Scott's healing capabilities might've been brought on by your…" Hank hesitated before selecting his words, "relationship with one another."

"Our relationship," Logan repeated hearing Hank clear his throat once again, "you mean because he and I are…Does it even work that way? It sounds like a bit of a stretch that because we…well considering that…"

"Let's just say that whatever happened to Scott in the time he was away is something that's made him more susceptible to picking up on some of your powers. He's getting stronger than he was before and it would lead one to assume that in an intimate exchange of DNA, then it's possible with his newfound adaptive tendencies that he could benefit from, well, from what you're offering him," Hank resumed his neutral tone before continuing, "Granted it seems he's also absorbed some of Jean's powers as well somewhere down the line, which puts my hypothesis of what's happening with the two of you to the test to some degree given that I'm certain Scott and Jean haven't been intimate in quite some time. With you, on the other hand, the level of power he's experienced in healing rapidly seems to be intensifying as time goes on indicating that the more frequent the contact, the stronger the adaptation appears to be. Given the results of Scott's latest blood work, I would just assume that the two of you are still strong and solid in that aspect, so…"

"There isn't any kind of questioning that department. Things are good," Logan finished for him, giving his friend an easy out to their awkward conversation, "but you also mentioned that it was present before-that you saw something in his charts that was there in his blood when he first arrived at the school."

Hank nodded, "The tests back then weren't as accurate as they can be now, but at the time there was something in Scott that seemed foreign to his genetic makeup. Granted given how little everyone knew little about him, I suppose it never came into question, but when I started looking into the initial testing Jean did with you, well you and Scott seemed to both have strong similarities that I'd attributed to Stryker's influence when I recently reviewed Scott's records. I'd just assumed that Stryker played a hand in whatever it was and…"

"So you think Stryker did something to Scott to what? To heal him during his time in captivity?" Logan couldn't help, but ask taking in Hank's words.

"Scott had obviously endured a great deal of torture in his time in captivity. I wouldn't put it past someone like Stryker to find a way to simply rejuvenate Scott only to work on breaking him all over again. If it was a gradual, repeated process for Scott…" Hank words tapered off.

"Then it could've been something Stryker threw out to add to Scott's torment," Logan felt a shudder carry over him in thinking what a monster like Stryker could've done to Scott.

"That was the general assumption," Hank nodded again, "I'd just deduced it was something that Stryker infused him with to help build Scott up again over and over to test his limitations for whatever dark purpose he had in mind."

"Using me to make it happen," Logan paused allowing the words to sink in, "as I'm assuming that with what you've just said you're certain that it was from me and not..."

"Not what?" Hank questioned catching an uneasiness that hung over in Logan's voice.

"Victor," Logan replied quietly his mind drifting to the worst possible scenario he could imagine with Scott given his history with Victor, "what you found from back then in Scott's blood work, you're certain it was identical to mine and not Victor's? With him and I being related there's a possibility that the healing factor could've been…"

"It's a match to you Logan according to the work up that Jean did on you when you first arrived. There's no mistake about it. Back then there were traces of it in Scott's system when he arrived at the school, much like there is now only this time," Hank paused clearing his throat again, "it's a much stronger situation. Before it was a weaker strain with DNA, diluted in a lot of ways when he was in for his initial work up. However, on the most basic level the results are the same. I would imagine the technique in which what's been administered is quite different from what happened during his time in captivity and…"

"I don't believe this," Logan threw his hands up in the air, "so you're saying that not only did Stryker torture him, but he used something that he obviously took from me when I submitted to his madness and now I'm…"

"Giving Scott something that he didn't have before. Stryker conducted a series of sadistic experiments on the both of you from what I've gathered and given his relationship with world renowned geneticists in his quest to bring about mutant extinction, anything is a possibility. Using one mutant's powers to exploit another isn't something that I would put past him," Hank sighed with a solemn expression on his face.

"So you think that when Stryker had me under his control that I did something to hurt Scott back then?" Logan questioned horrified by the notion that carried over him. "That I played a hand in his torment somehow?"

"Considering all that you endured at Stryker's hand Logan I could see how one would believe that anything is possible," Hank divulged quietly, his uneasiness carrying over him. "You lost so much during that time in your life that whatever happened back then was something that you weren't in control of. Stryker was very cold and calculating with his methods and…"

"You think I attacked Scott, don't you?" Logan questioned bluntly. "That's what you're trying to ask, aren't you? If I hurt him back then?"

"No," Hank shook his head firmly, "there's no evidence to support that kind of accusation, nor would I buy into that considering the way you both feel about one another now. Yes the DNA is a link, but the way in which it was administered into Scott's system is unclear. As I said Stryker has been known for having ties to strong geneticists who performed shady acts…that have been criminal in their experimentation against humanity and mutant kind…"

"Even so you're still thinking that maybe there was something more primitive to it, yes? That perhaps when I was Stryker's Weapon X that I gave into rage, destruction and anger and…" Logan curled his lower lip in protest, feeling an objection upon his lips to the notion that he could've caused Scott any pain back then.

"No Logan, that's not at all what I'm trying to imply. Scott has a clear cut reaction to danger from what you've told me. If he'd perceived you to be a threat-felt that you'd hurt him, then he wouldn't have hesitated to react. As evidenced by what you saw with him and this man in the barn, Scott's subconscious is opening up to the truth. He's seeing what he experienced during that time and responding to it," Hank explained with a slight hesitation, "Had you been a part of what had tortured him, then I'm certain he would've turned on you without hesitation."

"So what you're saying is that you're trying to placate me in the moment, but you aren't sure?" Logan couldn't help, but frown. "You're still wondering if the extent of my darkness poured out over into Scott with…"

"As your friend I don't believe even with Stryker controlling you that you're capable of what you believe I'm trying to imply with Scott right now Logan. I'm merely explaining to you that somewhere along the line before Scott made his way to the academy he'd been subjected to testing-some of which included the introduction of foreign DNA. It just so happens that the markers indicated it was yours. As for the methods of it being administered, well that's up for speculation, but I'd say given what I know to be true about the both of you, it's outrageous to be making assumptions about what you could've done to him. I truly believe there was a third party involved in the introduction of the strain in Scott's system back then."

"But you're not sure?" Logan asked uneasily.

"Logan, for argument's sake, let's go with the theory that experimentation brought about the change in Scott," Hank issued him an unspoken warning, "Given that possibility what we can see is that since Stryker had implemented it into his system in the past, there's always the possibility that Scott is more susceptible to it and…"

"It's part of what's evolving inside of him now," Logan finished with an uneasiness behind his breath.

Hank nodded and continued as a breeze carried over the night surrounding them, "Exactly. It's becoming a part of his new genetic make up, expanding and shifting his basic foundation."

"Because now he's absorbing it into his system in ways no one thought possible in our being together," Logan paused considering the weight of the situation, "though for what it's worth, if Scott is picking up on my healing abilities now because he and I are…together, well that can't be a bad thing for him, right? Given what he endured at Victor's hand in their last encounter, well, it's clearly a good thing that he's able to heal now. Otherwise…"

"The healing factor is undoubtedly beneficial to Scott," Hank agreed hoping to alleviate Logan's concerns, "but with everything else that's happening, tying back to Jean's powers or more specifically the rage that Phoenix carried with her, I can't help, but wonder if what's happening now in Scott is somehow a direct result of him managing to absorb some of her powers in the transfer between them when she stripped him of his. If this were laying dormant inside of him until a catalyst ignited them somehow…"

"What kind of catalyst?" Logan questioned.

"I'm not sure, which is why I'm hoping to get him to return to the school for further testing so we'll understand it. Honestly," Hank met Logan's eyes again, "if you wouldn't object, I'd like to run a few tests on you as well just to see if…"

"If what?" Logan asked.

"Given that you two were seeing one another right before he disappeared, I'd just thought that maybe you might have…" Hank's eyes shifted around to the barn again, avoiding any kind of visual contact with Logan.

"Have what?" Logan questioned with a frown.

"Played a hand in the outcome for Scott," Hank cleared his throat again, "If somehow…"

"Are you trying to imply now that him sleeping with me has turned him into this? That I started this before Jean stepped in and stole him from us? That he's picked up on all of these new powers because I've turned something on inside of him from the start?" Logan questioned gruffly, uneasy at Hank's implication.

"Not necessarily, I was more so hinting at your strengthening his survival instincts. Ororo thinks that Scott was saved because of Jean's inability to do him in given their history, but after reviewing the tests, I couldn't help, but wonder if the only reason Scott survived the ordeal at all was because of your relationship with him. Given what we've seen so far about him getting stronger-about his healing capabilities, it lends to reason that back then with you two together, well it could've helped spike his survival instincts and provided him means of fighting back in the absorption of power," Hank explained drawing in a breath.

"You said that the adaptive tendencies only recently started," Logan pondered his friend's words, "That they didn't emerge until after the attack from Victor…"

"As far as we know Logan there's a possibility that could be true, but then again no one even thought about testing anything that was happening with Scott back then once he'd settled into the academy. No one really thought to look into any kind of changes in Scott other than him being depressed over experiencing a great loss. There wasn't a need to do blood work on him to see if there was something deeper guiding the intensity of his pain and sorrow. Each person handles grieving differently, so to think that you being with Scott was strengthening him or that he was being guided to madness because of Jean's hold on him wasn't even an after thought. To think that his survival was based on something deeper wasn't in question until we all learned he was still alive."

"Now we're surrounded by questions without any real sense of understanding or answers," Logan let out an ironic laugh, "and given what you're saying to me, I'm starting to feel like there won't be any real comfort or solace in the truth when it emerges."

"I truly believe that the only way we're going to get the truth in any of all of this is to go back to the school. Once we exhume Jean we'll know if she was the one that was there the night of the break in and the night that Scott returned to us. If she's not in that coffin, then we're going to have to seek her out as well in our quest for answers," Hank added with an uneasy breath.

"Ororo said as much, but I still don't like it especially after what happened between them before at the lake. I don't care if Ororo thinks Jean might've held back on killing Scott because to me she's still a threat. She's dangerous to him and his stability. I've seen that first hand," Logan protested with an uneasiness overtaking him.

"We can't be certain Jean's the one who has been behind Scott's madness. Even if Jean or Phoenix transferred some of her darkness onto Scott, there isn't any concrete proof that she's…" Hank attempted to be objective in the moment.

"I don't care what she did, if she hurts Scott again, there won't be any room for debate on the subject. She'll be put to rest for real this time," Logan warned sourly, his body tensing up with tension, "because Scott is and always will be my top priority in all of this. I don't want to lose him again."

"We're going to work like hell to make sure that doesn't happen," Hank promised before letting out a slow breath, "Even if it means our bringing Jean back to us once again to figure this out."

"I don't like it at all if she's out there," Logan paused taking in the weight of the situation, "but if it'll help Scott, then I suppose it doesn't matter what I think about…"

"At this point I feel like we're running out of options," Hank added quietly.

"I realize that," Logan hesitated, "which is why I wanted to talk to you about something else as well. It's about Victor and the fact that he's still out there hoping to get his hands on adamantium. I know we've got plenty on our plate right now to deal with, but this is something that I can't ignore either."

"I was wondering when the discussion would come up again," Hank nodded to the building before him, "though considering that we're here right now preparing to do this interrogation of sorts, I suppose I should've anticipated the inevitable conversation."

"Victor was here in Ohio two days ago," Logan blurted out worriedly, "He was at the pub where Scott had his melt down."

"Wait a second," Hank paused tipping his head to the side to look at Logan, "are you saying he was where you were when…?"

"Two days ago. He was there before we were," Logan repeated with a nod, "I think he was meeting someone out here who could help him obtain what he wanted. Whether he got it or not, I'm not sure, but at the same time I don't think we can afford to let this go. He attacked a waitress and a bartender before going on his way."

"So Victor's in Ohio," Hank frowned, "Logan, if that's really true, then we need to get back to Scott and Ororo and get them out of here. If Victor even thinks about going back to reclaim Scott again…"

"Considering what I saw Scott do earlier today, I think he could hold his own tonight if need be," Logan divulged as he turned to the barn before him. "I wouldn't want to have him face that, but at the same time he was practically untouchable in his rage."

"Until you head butted him," Hank mouthed sourly, "which proved to be a vulnerability for him."

"Yeah, I get it. It wasn't the smartest of decisions, but it got the job done," Logan slurred, turning to face his friend again, "which is what I want us to do with Victor as well. Should he be preparing to make his next move and attack, I want us to be one step ahead of the game. We're going to need to launch an investigation to see what happened to him after he left the pub."

"Given Victor's thirst for carnage I'm certain we'll hear more things in the wake of his path," Hank noted with a shake of his head, "He's too aggressive to be quiet in all of this."

"All the more reason for us to find him before he can take any of us by surprise," Logan added somberly. "Right now I still think he can be neutralized, but if he is able to follow through on the plans I fear he may have, we might be looking at a situation that we can't reverse."

"I promise I'll look into it after we get back to Scott's place. Perhaps I can call around and see if there's been any other news. Maybe if someone else saw something the night at the pub it could help in the search. However, this was a good start though because we have some idea on how to track his pattern closer to home. Although again it suggests all the more reason for you and Scott to return to the school," Hank continued weighing out their options, "that way if Victor is bold enough to try to launch an attack we'll be on home ground so to speak."

"I'm not going to argue that point," Logan nodded, "even if Scott and I were hoping for time away all this has proven is that it's not going to happen right now."

"I wish things were different for you my friend. Perhaps after we figure everything out you and Scott can get that break together," Hank suggested when a chill carried over the night surrounding them.

"I hope so, but for now let's see what we can find out in here before we go back to everything else. Maybe this idiot can prove more useful then we thought given he likes to hang out at the same pub Victor was spotted in. Perhaps his association with Victor isn't as long ago as he claimed it to be," Logan stepped forward preparing to deal with the problem he'd left behind in the barn when he was hit by a foul, unwelcome odor.

"Logan, what is it?" Hank questioned stepping up beside Logan.

"Blood," Logan snarled, feeling the familiar scent carrying over his senses causing his claws to reveal themselves, "and death."

"Death," Hank repeated watching Logan tear open the door to the barn and rush inside, "Logan."

"Son of a bitch!" Logan snarled, his darkened eyes tilting upwards to discover the carcass of the man before him now hanging from the hook at the top of the barn, impaled through the center of his forehead. The rounded tip of the bloodied hook surrounded the man's features, splitting through the man's left eye socket in a sickening, dehumanizing fashion. There was a pool of blood on the ground beneath where the man hang on display, insides torn out and ripped of opportunity to tell them anything about what he knew.

"Logan, I thought you said that he was alive when you left…" Hank began horrified by the sight before him.

"He was," Logan crouched down on the ground, inspecting the blood pouring out over the straw before him. "I tied him up over in the back after knocking him out. I figured he'd be safe there for a while until I could return with you and…"

"It looks like someone else found him first," Hank shuddered as a chill carried in through the now opened entry way, "From the looks of things he didn't have a fighting chance in all of this."

"I have to admit it couldn't have happened to a nicer person," Logan mouthed sourly, knowing full well that he'd contemplated doing the same in finishing the job that Scott had started hours ago, still in seeing the man's lifeless remains overhead, serving as a reminder of how far someone had gone to silence him, Logan couldn't help, but feel an uneasiness overtake him.

"Someone wanted to make sure you didn't get the opportunity to question him," Hank stepped forward only to feel something squish beneath his foot. Pulling back, Hank groaned when he realized it was the remains of the man's tongue. Bending down to carefully extract it from his shoe with one of the discarded, rusty farmer's tools beside him, Hank turned to Logan again, "They went to extremes to ensure he couldn't provide us with answers."

"Someone had to have been watching," Logan deduced thinking about the scene that had taken place with him and Scott earlier, "Someone had to be taking all of this in when we left. They must've seen what was happening with Scott and…"

"Who?" Hank couldn't help, but ask, "Please don't tell me that you're thinking Jean? You don't really think she's capable if she's out there, do you?"

"You were there when she was caught up in a whirlwind of destruction. Besides you didn't see what was happening to Scott earlier. He was beyond reasoning, pushed past the point of no return and that wasn't at all who he is. He's been being coaxed over the edge for a while now not of his own accord. I'm certain of that even if everything is questionable right now," Logan felt an uneasiness bristling over his senses, the air of death surrounding him, immersing himself in a place where he'd found himself uncomfortable. There had been a time in his life when death was all he'd known, but now with thoughts of Scott on the front burner of his mind, he stood up taller and faced his friend, "This could've been the outcome for him if I hadn't intervened when I did."

"And you think someone saw that and finished the job?" Hank questioned with wide eyes. "It seems like a stretch for Jean. Even when she was out of control, I don't think she was capable of this."

"She's capable of a lot more than we gave her credit for. However, if it's not Jean, then someone who wanted to make for damn certain that Scott went down for this," Logan raised his chin up again, watching another thick droplet of blood drop as a result of the strain gravity was taking upon the body. "They must've seen his anger-known his rage…"

"Which means we can't leave this here, can we?" Hank deduced with an uneasiness in his voice. "Clearly with Scott's earlier attack on the man, it wouldn't be a stretch for someone to believe that Scott was the one that did this. They'll have plenty of evidence in this barn to support that theory given that you said Scott was out of his mind. I'm sure he wasn't cautious or careful with is actions."

"Not in the least," Logan agreed feeling his chest tighten, "it was as if it he was outside of himself, somewhere else in the height of madness…"

"No one's going to believe he didn't do this if the physical evidence supports him attacking this man," Hank shuddered at the thought.

"Scott didn't do this Hank. I promise you that man was very much alive when I left here. I carried Scott home on my back unconscious, so there's no way that he could've done this. He was with me all day and…" Logan attempted to reason with his friend.

"I believe you, but the rest of the world won't," Hank frowned with a shake of his head, "We're going to have to do something about this."

"If we take the body back to the lab, then maybe you'll be able to find the answers we're seeking out," Logan took in another whiff of the air that surrounded him, "Whomever was behind this was careful to cover their tracks. They knew what they were doing-were certain to make sure that their scent didn't linger."

"I'm going to have a hell of a time explaining this one to Ororo. I hope you realize that," Hank warned drawing in an uneasy breath, "For us to take this back with us…"

"It's our only lead at this point," Logan took a step back and began contemplating the ways to remove the man from the hook overhead, "unless you've got a better option."

"None that sound any less unappealing at the moment," Hank decided with a frown, "but just know when we get to the bottom of this someone's going to have to be held accountable for everything that's happening."

"Believe me when we find out who it is, I'll be the first to make sure it happens," Logan promised knowing only too well that the dead man hanging overhead was only yet another sign that things were about to take a dark turn into dangerous territory.

xxxxx


	27. Chapter 27

Logan stepped into the shower trying to dismiss the thoughts that carried over him after he and Hank had worked to clean up the mess that they'd discovered back at the barn with one another. Although they'd both agreed that Scott would have to return to the school again to get the help he wasn't getting in Ohio, both had decided that it would be best for Scott and Logan to return together in the morning instead of forcing Scott to travel back with the remains of the man who'd tortured him in the past. It was something they'd both felt strongly about, yet when Logan had returned to discover Scott and Ororo with one another, simply engaging in a quiet conversation over tea with one another, it had almost felt as if Logan had stepped into an alternate universe where everything was as it should be. Scott seemed relaxed, genuinely at ease with their friend and not even Logan's sour demeanor over what he'd just finished up with could spoil the relief he'd felt in the moment of seeing Scott at ease. Still in knowing of the blood he would have to scrub off of his body, Logan had carefully kept the remains of his evening from Scott's line of vision when he politely dismissed himself, instead opting to head upstairs to put the night behind him for a while.

Leaning forward Logan dipped his head down, allowing the extremely hot water to linger over the top of his head, sliding down over his shoulders in a long, drawn out, pulsating heat that singed at his flesh. He bit down on his body's response knowing the burn of it would soon heal itself as his lips parted. Keeping his eyes closed tightly, he immersed himself in the slow, massaging motion of the spray, embracing it's warmth in the long, soothing movements upon him. Another sound erupted from within his throat, releasing the tension he'd carried with him in his hot escape from the day he'd put behind him. Leaning forward he pressed his hand into the shower wall when he felt a different kind of warmth surround him. Immediately his senses perked up, body responding to the slide of damp fingers over his abdomen, coaxing out a primitive response from him when the palms kneaded over his flesh, dropping down to squeeze at his inner thighs.

"I thought you were downstairs entertaining," Logan slurred, his words heavy with longing, savoring the skilled press of Scott's fingers against his greedy flesh. He groaned again, feeling the direct slide of Scott's bare skin against his spine, curving into him with the same readiness and ease in all of their encounters. Reaching down, he pulled one of Scott's hand's up, pushing it into the hair-dusted muscle near the center of his chest.

"They had to get going back to school," Scott's voice explained in a sultry whisper, "so I thought that maybe it would give us the opportunity to catch up with one another."

"You should be resting," Logan groaned, lacing his fingers with Scott's, knowing too well that temptation was too strong to ignore completely with Scott behind him.

"I'll rest later," Scott nipped at the side of Logan's neck, biting down in a possessive movement while his free hand stirred between Logan's thighs more urgently, "after I've finished having my way with you."

"You're opening the door to trouble Summers," Logan arched his head back, allowing Scott's hold on him to intensify, to draw forth the inner beast who knew nothing of logic and reason. Even in knowing what Hank had said about Scott's new powers, Logan couldn't help, but wonder if their couplings would only continue to be beneficial for the both of them in their own way. Given Scott's eagerness and Logan's need to push the darkness of the day behind them, he knew refusing Scott would be difficult. It was in his passion that he'd found the animal inside breaking loose, wanting to give in to any illicit request Scott would have for him in spite of himself.

"You rather enjoy living life on the edge immersing yourself in the very wrong you feel is so right," Scott's teeth sank into his flesh harder, pinching at the sinewy texture between Logan's neck and shoulder, causing him to groan.

"With you I always have," Logan decided unable to control his feral side any longer. He let out a low roar, his hand releasing Scott's before he spun around to face him. Scott's blue eyes were wrapped up in mischief, lips parting in an unspoken invitation to draw Logan inside, and in the moment, Logan knew nothing of logic and reason, only temptation and hunger. Surging forward Logan slammed Scott into the shower wall, devouring that mouth of his that had haunted his dreams, had played a part in Logan's favorite moments during the waking hours as well. With Scott's talented tongue lashing out at his, coaxing Logan closer to giving in to passion, Logan couldn't help, but groan. He wanted to consume Scott, to feel all of him over him, under him, to be inside of him with a hunger that engulfed everything inside of Logan.

"Take me Logan," Scott hissed, his words becoming darker, a naughty whisper of suggestion when Scott's arms shot up over Logan's spine, fingers digging into Logan's shoulders in a violent press. Logan groaned outwardly, feeling an aggressive nip over the center of his mouth. Teeth penetrated flesh, sharp and decisive when Logan shrugged away from the kiss, his head tipping back when Scott's nails squeezed harder into Logan, tearing at the flesh on his shoulders. The pain was excruciating, driving him further from pleasure when they ripped away at his skin, gnawing at muscle and bone in an instant of madness.

"Scott," Logan groaned pulling back seeing his lover's full, sensual, otherwise pouty lips overtaken by laughter. A wicked smirk carried over Scott's mouth, nefarious and consuming when the tip of Scott's tongue slid over his bottom lip tasting the traces of blood that Scott had pulled from Logan's mouth in their kiss. Suddenly everything changed. The scent of Scott faded, replaced by something different, albeit familiar. The eyes before him shifted from beautiful blue to thick blackness. Scott's muscled contours changed as well revealing the soft, pale complexion of the auburn haired woman before him.

"Jean," Logan stammered releasing her and falling back to the opposite side of the shower to place a distance between them. Shock registered on his features as she continued to tease her tongue over the blood that surrounded her mouth in having bit him. Her soft, wet curves were revealed to him when she dropped her arms down at her sides, approaching him with a determined step.

"What's wrong Logan?" she questioned giving him a long once over, "Is it too much for you too soon?"

"Stay away from me," Logan snarled back at her, his body tensing up with a fight or flight reaction. He looked to the confined space of the shower they were in knowing that if he were to extend his claws he would undoubtedly tear through the shower wall and the door as well causing a great deal of damage to the room they were in. Still with her soft footsteps splashing through the water on the shower floor, Logan knew she would be beside him shortly if he didn't react, "I'm warning you Jean. Don't make me do something you'll regret."

"I've never regretted you sticking me," she mocked his warning. Tossing her long, auburn hair back over her shoulder she licked her lips again, removing the final traces of blood upon them, "although maybe this time we can use a little bit more of you beyond the claws."

Logan scowled seeing her eyes drop down to the root of his masculinity, making no mistake about what she'd wanted from him in the moment. Thinking to the many times he'd teased her in the past, to the ways in which he'd used his own lust for Scott to arouse similar sensations from her, he tensed up.

"It's not happening Jean," Logan announced placing a hand in front of himself to shield his body from her eyes.

"Modesty," she laughed wildly, amused by the movement he'd made before her, "that's a new one I never anticipated encountering from you Logan given how blatant and direct you've always been in flaunting all that you are."

"Don't flatter yourself into thinking any of this is for you Jean," Logan puffed his chest out defiantly, "I thought you were Scott."

"Which shows how weak minded you truly are," she continued to mock his tone, her eyes twinkling with rage and amusement. "Truly Logan there's no need to pretend to be shy when we both know what it is your inner beast craves."

"It isn't you. It never was," Logan clarified seeing the determination on her features, "I don't know what you're doing here, but…"

"You've been sticking it to Scott for a while, taking what's mine, so I figure maybe it's time I take what's yours," she laughed wildly, her eyes darkening with rage. She cocked her head to the side, her skin bubbling with rage when she continued to speak to him, "What's wrong Logan? Not up to a winner takes all challenge where I'm concerned?"

"You aren't real. This is a mind trick," Logan shook his head firmly, "Even if you're still out there, this isn't happening."

"Isn't it?" she questioned reaching out to touch his shoulder possessively. He flinched beneath her touch when her fingers slid up into his thick, dark, unruly hair. She twisted it tightly, snapping his head back with a force unlike any Logan had ever experienced, "Does this feel real enough for you?"

"Damn it," he cursed attempting to twist his hand out from beneath him, but he found his fingers curving towards his own body, sliding in a press over his groin hinting at the kind of injury he would inflict upon himself should he think about extending his claws.

"Face it Logan as much as you'd like to think I was dead, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. The way I see it between you and Scott, I could go at this all day and night if I wanted to," she seethed with rage, her mouth hovering over the side of his neck. "As much as you'd like to deny that I'm no longer a part of Scott's life, I'm still inside of him. He's still very much linked to me, to what we had with one another. He always has been."

"No," Logan argued contemplating his options in knowing he would heal from an impulsive flick of his wrist in extending his claws, but thinking of the agony that would follow, he hesitated, waiting for the right moment to strike back, "you never loved Scott. This proves it Jean. Everything you're doing shows that Scott never meant anything to you because if he did you would stop all of this."

"Scott was everything to me," she hissed, wrenching on his hair again in a painful twist before ripping strands from his head, "He was my world before you arrived and tore that away from us. We could've had it all Logan, but then you provided temptation…"

"You were just as tempted as he was," Logan taunted, his words biting and angry despite her hold on him, "the only difference is you're angry because I didn't want you. Maybe that's why you're doing this. Maybe this is why you're targeting Scott-to get at me for choosing him over you."

"You never had a choice Logan. He's always been mine," she snarled, fury bubbling over her skin, "He'll always be mine."

"No," Logan smirked icily, feeling a moment of certainty carry over him, "he was never yours Jean. He was simply waiting for the right moment to find real happiness in his life and unfortunately for you he found it with the man you contemplated leaving him for. Admit it."

"Don't flatter yourself Logan. You aren't that special," she laughed in his face, her words dark and vicious in the moment.

"Special enough for you to want to screw me apparently," Logan challenged with an arch of his brow. "Time and time again I felt it Jean. I knew what you were thinking without even having to ask."

"Oh I'll screw you alright Logan, but not in the ways you're anticipating I'd wanted to," she warned, her words carrying with them a solid vibration of anger. "If you think this life of yours is somehow going to lead you to a happily ever after, then you're even more delusional than you were when you thought submitting to Stryker's twisted experiments would help you find your retribution."

"What?" he blinked back at her.

"It says a lot about a man given what he will submit himself to," she taunted further, "You've never thought things through and that's your problem. It's always been about the rage-the inconsolable anger that's very much a part of the Wolverine. It's the burden of the beast you carry with you, the man mixed with monster that you'd become when vengeance ruled your life. You can judge me, but deep down you know we're one in the same. We're both beyond redemption."

"All the more reason for you to stay away from Scott," Logan countered in warning, "If you want to go after someone, then come after me. Deal with me Jean, not him. He doesn't deserve any of this."

"He deserves a life beyond anything he could have with you," she mouthed with heavy distain, "He belongs with me."

"You're gone Jean. Maybe you haven't accepted that, but you've been dead for a while now," Logan searched her features, hoping to find a remainder of the woman he'd once cared for inside of her.

"I'm far from it Logan and deep down you know that," she slurred in a seething hiss, "I'm just waiting for the perfect moment to tear your world apart. Deep down you know that even in all your bravado you weren't capable of killing me even by pretending to 'save me' in your big moment."

"I did want to save you. I wanted to help you-to help you find yourself so that we could find Scott," Logan softened his voice, "I knew you never wanted to hurt him. Even if you were hurt, I saw that you would never willingly…"

"You don't know a damn thing about me Logan," she screeched causing the shower walls to shake, "Thinking you could deceive me and get away with it is a clear sign of that. Did you really believe that you were smarter than me? That you could somehow pull the wool over my eyes while you were working your way into his life?"

"No, I didn't. I knew that eventually you would know about us and I didn't care," Logan divulged honestly, the weight of his words falling upon his shoulders, "I didn't think about what it would do for you in losing Scott because all I saw was what I needed, what I wanted."

"You should've learned not to take what didn't belong to you," she spat back at him coldly, her lip twisting in a deeper scowl, "You had no right to walk into our lives and tear them apart. You stole so much from us. Scott was happy before you arrived. I was happy."

"I realize that and I'm sorry Jean," Logan mouthed somberly, doing his best to stay in control of the exchange between them, "I never should've hurt you like I did."

"You're not sorry," she refused to accept his answer, "You don't regret taking Scott and pulling him into your life. Admit it Logan. If you could go back you wouldn't change a damn thing, would you? You'd still take him."

"I wouldn't have lead you on in the process. I should've known better," Logan decided not bothering to pretend in his answer when he tried a different approach, "It's time to let go and move on before you can't take back all you've done. You need to release Scott from his pain, to stop haunting him because if nothing else, you know it's not what you want. If you love him like you claim to, then you'll release this hold on him. You'll allow him happiness."

"He had happiness with me," she shouted, causing the walls of the shower to shake mercilessly around them, "until you ruined it for us."

"He and I had a connection long before you forged yours with him," Logan tossed back at her with a seriousness in his tone, "He never was yours to begin with Jean because he and I had something with one another."

She laughed in his face, "You think you saved him Logan? That because of your freeing him from his cage that he was bound to you? You have no idea what you've done to him, but rest assured you were far from his savior. You were, after all, Weapon X and when Scott remembers the truth, he'll despise you. He'll hate you for the torture you inflicted upon him."

"You're grasping for something you won't find Jean," Logan replied with a stiff laugh, "I never hurt Scott like you have."

"Or so you think," she mouthed icily, "Face it Logan there's a reason he's so drawn to you, that he believes he's bound to you and it isn't because of love. Hank even alerted you to the fact that Stryker had a reason and a purpose for everything that's taken place. He's guided your union with Scott every step of the way. Even now he's controlling what happens next."

"You're insane," Logan spat back at her with a defiant laugh.

"Am I?" she touched the side of his face sending flashes of sensation running through him.

_Logan gasped, feeling an ache building in his temple when he found himself surrounded by a dark room in Stryker's compound, taking in the heavy odor of death and suffering around him. He blinked a couple of times, trying to see through the darkness, but all he could locate was the sound of screams, of agony through the darkness. He stepped forward straining to regain control of his mind when it was clear Jean had taken him to this awful place again. There was blood on the walls, at his feet, surrounding him when he moved towards a light, following the scent of fear until he stood on the threshold of a doorway looking in on a violent scene before him._

_"Jimmy," Victor's voice rippled through the air, amusement carrying over his tone when Logan spotted Victor hovering over a makeshift table of sorts stretched out from what must've been a chair before being placed into it's contorted state. Victor stood up, blood dripping from his chin, saturating his lips as he nodded to the smaller, pale body before him strapped down to the chair, "he's been waiting for you, ready to have a little fun."_

_Logan's eyes shifted to the sight before him, seeing the slashes in the otherwise smooth chest, hearing the sobs of the smaller boy before him, knowing that he'd reached a breaking point. Fear was evident, terror saturating the room, filling it with the irreplaceable scent of madness. Stepping forward Logan lowered his eyes, taking in the familiar path of the body before him, sliding up over the bloodied abdomen, to the gnarled chest when Logan's eyes finally found their way to the boy's mouth, to the lips he wanted nothing more than to devour time and time again._

_"Take him Jimmy. He's ready for you," Victor taunted, goading him further into madness when Logan hovered over the boy he coveted._

_"Please…don't do this," the boy whimpered, his lip quivering with pain, with agony and misery, but as Logan touched his pale cheek, feeling lust radiate through his body, caught up in the divide between right and wrong, he leaned forward licking a hot, wet line over the familiarity of the boy's neck, tasting the sweet agony that carried over him. He whimpered, his voice cracked with emotion behind his covered eyes, "please…don't…"_

"No," Logan snarled breaking the connection between him and Jean. He watched her laugh, saw her pleasure in revealing to him an image that was undoubtedly untrue. She was toying with his mind, twisting his thoughts, guiding him to the same madness she'd been taunting Scott with again and again. Scott had been lost in things that couldn't have happened and now with Jean's sick, twisted perception of what had happened to Scott in Stryker's compound, Logan knew it was an impossibility. He wouldn't have hurt Scott, couldn't have taken his lover to that point of fear and madness, "that wasn't real just like this isn't real."

"Wasn't it?" she challenged again, laughter filling the walls of the shower, "Did you really think someone like Scott would want you willingly without you having to force it Logan? Face it he's only with you because you hurt him. He's confusing pain with pleasure…"

"No, that never happened," Logan snapped defiantly, trying to shake the image that she was attempting to force into his mind, "I never hurt Scott. I would never betray his trust like that."

"Maybe not now, but what about Weapon X? What would he have done to his prey?" she suggested with a wiggle of her brow.

"You're about to find out," Logan decided with a snarl, holding nothing back on his rage. "I'm going to destroy you."

"You can't. You don't have it in you anymore because Scott's tamed you," she laughed in his face, shaking her head at him. Droplets of water from her long, auburn hair splashed in his face, "Even today you couldn't complete the task he'd set out to do because you're nothing more than a lap dog. Regardless it still doesn't change the core of what you are. It doesn't change the monster you have been through the years."

"You did that, didn't you?" he questioned meeting her madness heavy eyes again. "You killed that man back at the barn."

"Unlike you I've always put Scott first. I've protected him in every way imaginable and I will continue to do so in getting rid of you," she promised with a saccharine smirk, "It's only a matter of time."

"Jealousy doesn't suit you," Logan frowned back at her, "and this blatant misuse of powers you're throwing out there on Scott or even trying to do with me is beneath you. Just because you want to try to make someone believe something that isn't real, doesn't mean that they can't reject it. Stryker played that game with me time and time again, but it doesn't work. Even if you tried to make it feel real, we both know that it's your way of trying to cope with the fact that Scott chose me. It's your way of twisting the truth to compensate for what you couldn't hold onto with him."

"I knew it was the truth from the moment I first took your blood Logan. The truth was there in the testing and…" Jean argued with him, her words dripping with anger.

"What you found in me wasn't introduced to Scott by force on my end. I didn't hurt him. He knows that and…" Logan opened his mouth to protest.

"How can you be so certain Logan? You know nothing of the life you had before beyond the glimpses you've seen. You only knew of saving Scott through Scott's eyes, through his memory, but it doesn't explain why you were there to begin with," she offered up a haughty laugh, "You didn't really believe you were there to play the hero to a woman who betrayed you? To someone who meant nothing to you when she died? To someone who wasn't worth holding onto?"

"Shut up Jean," Logan snarled back at her.

"Face it Logan, you know yourself even less than you think you do. You like to believe that you're some kind of hero, some kind of savior to Scott, but at the end of the day you're the monster that tore his world apart. What the others did to him pales in comparison to what you did to him, to what you're still doing to him," Jean seethed with anger, "but rest assured one way or another I will set him free. I'll save him from you."

"You should be more worried about saving yourself Jean," Logan warned sharply, his patience running thin with each accusation she tossed out at him, "I know what you are and with every passing second it's clear what you're trying to do. It won't work."

"You don't know the first thing about me," she hissed, a shriek carrying over her blood red lips.

"Of course I do," he paused feeling a moment of strength overtake him, "Phoenix. All you think of is destruction and instinct. You don't feel love or compassion. Everything about you is primitive, raw and full of vengeance over knowing that it isn't Scott who is broken, but rather you that can't be fixed. Your manipulative ploys haven't done anything to steal away the one thing he craves the most in this world, which is me. You can try all you want, but you won't break me. You won't tear us apart even with all of your attempts at invading our thoughts and perverting them. Whether or not he's clinging to his sanity, he's never stopped holding onto me…long after you there's been me, only me."

"Shut up," she snarled back at him.

"Truth hurts, doesn't it?" Logan taunted further, sliding his hand out from between them, "Rejection is twice as painful when not just one, but two potential lovers scorn you. Face it whatever appeal you might've had disappeared when Jean left the building. All that's left is the hollow remains of someone who simply won't face the fact that it's over and it is over. It's been that way for a very long time."

"Stop it!" she snapped back at him angrily.

"No, I don't think I will," Logan watched her features twist with madness, slipping from any kind of rational taunt to reckless insanity, her eyes darkening in preparation for a battle between them, "it's time to end this."

"It's never going to be over," she hissed, her skin bubbling over with a surge of power, body consumed with a faint glow of anger when Logan released his claws, sending them forward into the soft flesh of her abdomen. She shrieked throwing her head back in agony before her skin heated up around his claws, blood creating an inhuman warmth around him, building and expanding until a blinding light surrounded him. He groaned having to turn away when she exploded in a culmination of glass and flesh before him, transforming into nothingness.

"Damn it," he cursed reopening his eyes to discover that he was alone in the shower stall, claws buried in the wall before him, caught up in the moment between reality and his subconscious in the twisted perception he'd felt of Jean. Even now his heart raced, his mind was reeling with possibilities of what had just taken place, trying to decipher what was going on when there was a sound at the bathroom door. He turned his head to the side, seeing Scott rushing in with a worried expression on his face.

"I heard the noise and…" Scott began apologetically, preparing to excuse his intrusion when his eyes widened, taking note of Logan's claws flung out into the air where the shattered shower door had once been moments earlier. Worry creased over Scott's brow as Scott moved forward seeing the blood over Logan's forearm where glass had pierced his flesh and muscle, "Logan…"

"Stay back," Logan warned simply. He lowered his arms and took in a breath struggling to still the frantic racing of his heart, "please."

"You're bleeding," Scott replied softly, worry overtaking him in the moment, "your arm…"

"It'll heal," Logan answered dismissively, "I'll be fine, but I don't want you stepping in the glass."

"What's going on Logan?" Scott questioned worriedly, his eyes surveying the bathroom for any sign of what might have taken place to lead to Logan's outburst.

"You're not crazy Scott," Logan announced taking in a shallow breath to calm his nerves, "Far from it."

"I don't understand," Scott tipped his head to the side and gave Logan another long once over.

"Whatever it takes we need to end this once and for all," Logan mouthed cryptically knowing only too well if the vision he'd experienced was even half as vivid as the ones that Scott had been experiencing, then he would rip through heaven and hell in order to free Scott of the demons from the past one way or the other.

xxxxx


	28. Chapter 28

Scott tossed the final remains of glass into the trash bin before setting the broom and dustpan aside. He bent down to reach for the plastic bag inside of the bin before Logan intervened extracting it from Scott's hand.

"I'll take care of this," Logan offered up quietly, breaking the suffocating silence that had surrounded them after Scott had walked in on Logan in the midst of his bloodied outburst in the shower. Now as the two men had salvaged the bathroom to the best of their ability, it seemed that they had plenty to discuss outside of the room. "You should be resting."

"After what just happened," Scott shook his head in refusal, "not a chance. You're going to tell me what's going on."

"I don't know where to start," Logan shrugged his shoulders before following Scott out of the bathroom with the trash bag in hand.

"The beginning sounds like a good place," Scott suggested carrying the broom and dustpan down the stairs to the first level of the house.

"I don't even know where that is anymore," Logan divulged opening up the back door to set the trash bag on the porch out of harm's way before returning to discover Scott over by the sink washing his hands. "Look, I know that I gave you quite a scare up there before, but…"

"It's not like I haven't done worse over the last few weeks," Scott sighed bringing a damp hand up through his dark hair. Leaning back against the countertop, Scott eyed Logan curiously, "So what gives?"

"I went up to take a shower after Hank and I got back and…" Logan paused looking around the kitchen, "I'm assuming they left a little while ago?"

Scott nodded, "Hank was in a bit of a hurry after you returned. He said something about having to get back to school to finish something, which I assume is about what the two of you did when you slipped off with one another earlier without warning?"

Logan caught the way Scott's eyebrow raised, heard the hint of questioning in his voice when it was clear Scott was seeking out an answer. Stepping forward Logan contemplated his words before speaking up.

"That's not important right now," Logan dismissed the question before washing his hands as well. He could feel Scott's eyes upon him, penetrating his skin when Logan let out a breath, "Seriously it's not relevant to what's happening."

"Considering that you just shattered the shower door I'd say something intense is going on," Scott stood up taller, folding his arms in front of his chest, "so lay it on me. What is it?"

"Jean," Logan finally blurted out. Pressing his palms over the edge of the counter so that his fingertips curled into the top of the sink Logan let out another long sigh, "I saw her when I was in the shower."

"Saw her how?" Scott questioned worriedly, his tone shifting with even more concern.

"I thought it was you," Logan raised his chin up, meeting Scott's eyes after the initial hesitation, "then she started saying things, doing things and…"

"What kind of things?" Scott asked wearily when Logan stood up taller.

"She was trying to goad me to react," Logan replied in a neutral tone, "but with each taunt, she kept pushing the limit, going deeper and deeper in an attempt to coax me over the edge…"

"You mean like what's happened to me?" Scott let out an ironic laugh, "So now you're seeing her manifest too?"

"It proves that you're not losing it Scott, but again I've said that all along. When we were at the school I'd felt it too, just not as strong as it's hitting you," Logan reached out to stroke the side of Scott's face, unable to refrain from touching him, "It should show us that there's something bigger happening…"

"Ororo believes that Jean's still alive," Scott looked away, focusing on the stove across the room, "She thinks that Jean is out there and that she was the one who saved my life after Victor attacked me."

"I'm aware of that," Logan nodded quietly.

"You are?" Scott raised his head up again to search Logan's features, "Did you…did you see the footage?"

Logan nodded, "I did."

"And?" Scott couldn't help, but ask, "Was it her? Was she really there?"

"I don't know Scott," Logan rolled his shoulders back causing his neck to crack, "When the footage was shot it wasn't clear. There was a woman who looked like Jean, but she never showed her face. Beyond that she knew her way around the school and how to avoid the surveillance cameras so there isn't anything else to back it up."

"Even so, Ororo is convinced," Scott prodded for further answers, "Do you think that…?"

"She didn't show you the footage?" Logan raised a curious brow.

"I think she was afraid to after what I'd told her about how Jean is haunting me," Scott bit back on his words, stifling his confession for a few seconds before turning away, "and maybe a part of me was afraid as well. In seeing her on the footage, in realizing that she was there, then it makes everything more real-more…"

"Solvable," Logan finished stepping forward to wrap his arms around Scott tentatively, "Scott, if she's behind all that's been happening, then we can find her and neutralize her once and for all."

"How?" Scott questioned closing his eyes and leaning back into Logan, "How can we do that when we don't have any real inkling of what's going on with her? If she's been alive all this time, waiting out there, harboring all this rage and anger…"

"Then we help her find peace," Logan suggested squeezing Scott tighter in his arms, "We help her free herself from the grip Phoenix has on her and…"

"I told Ororo we'd go back tomorrow," Scott blurted out, no longer able to hold back on his promise to his friend when he shifted in Logan's arms, focusing in on Logan's eyes again.

"I figured as much," Logan nodded keeping Scott close to him, "I wouldn't expect anything less out of you once you learned that Jean might be out there. I knew you'd want to get to the bottom of this and help Jean if need be."

"I'm sure I'm going to be the last person Jean wants to have help her with anything if she's still out there," Scott reminded him with a tiny shudder carrying over him. "Given how angry Phoenix has been in our exchanges in my mind…"

"Phoenix might be beyond reasonable, but a part of me feels Jean wouldn't be if you could truly reach her again. Scott, despite all of the things that played out between the three of us, I know that Jean wanted you. She chose you even when she was facing conflict over wanting you and me…"

"You've always said that Logan, but let's face it her journal told us a very different tale. If you top that off by the fact that I broke her heart when she learned about my feelings for you, well I might be the one person she wants to seek out and destroy. It's been evident in the rage she's surrounded me by lately," Scott couldn't help, but recall, "and on some level she might be justified in that to some degree."

"I thought we went over this time and time again Scott," Logan frowned back at him. "In terms of Jean's feelings…"

"I know that I'm not supposed to obsess over it Logan, but if you're being taunted by her and I'm being haunted to the point that I'm ready to destroy everything around me, then that tells me if she is out there, she's not ready to let go of the anger. Even if she was the one that arrived at the school that night and saved me, who is to say it was because she wanted anything more than to make me suffer all over again for hurting her?" Scott questioned with a hint of uneasiness in his tone.

"Do you honestly believe that Scott? Given your history with Jean, don't you think that there could be a part of her that didn't want you to suffer? That wanted you to stay here to live to fight the good fight another day?"

"Now you sound like Ororo," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "which tells me she's found a way to reach you or you're saying what you think I need to hear."

"Considering that I'm finding it hard to come up with a logical, reasonable explanation for any of this beyond the hope that Phoenix is causing all this chaos if Jean is out there, I don't know what else to say," Logan admitted honestly, "On some level knowing that she was responsible for all of this-that the primitive part of her personality that was locked away before is guiding this force, it would make it easier. However, right now we don't have much to go on other than a few daunting images our subconscious has forced upon us and a sketchy surveillance video that may or may not be her."

"There are so many questions and so little answers," Scott bit down on his lower lip, "I don't like that Logan. I don't like it at all."

"Neither do I," Logan shivered at the memory of his confrontation with Jean, "but at the same time there are so many things we need to talk about. There are some questions that have been raised that…"

"I know what we need to do. I realize that this can't be ignored any longer when it's spiraling out of control. I know that it's escalating, becoming something that could bury us all if we don't do something to change it. I realize it's about taking action and just devoting everything to solving the situation," Scott gulped down harder than he'd intended, "but a part of me doesn't want to go there just yet. Don't get me wrong, I want to fix this-more than anything I want to stop the awful feeling inside of me, but right now I just..."

"Okay," Logan mouthed tentatively when Scott's tension mounted, "then we don't have to…"

"Of course we have to, but right now," Scott shifted in his arms, turning to face Logan fully. Opening his blue eyes, Logan could see the confusion contained beneath their depths, "I just want to focus on you-on one last night of freedom before I submit myself to discovering the truth. I know that after tonight, we'll be seeking out answers which means, research, testing with Hank and understanding what's missing from the past that could've played a hand in all of this."

"Scott," Logan reached out to touch his face tenderly, "look I know that it sounds like it's going to be a lot to face, but…"

"I don't want to think that I'm going crazy," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "All signs are pointing to that. Hell, deep down I know that a part of me has succumbed to madness when all I can see is the pain that's surrounded me. When I think about how I went after that man earlier…"

"He had it coming to him a long time in the making," Logan hesitated thinking about Scott's time in captivity. Suddenly on edge in remembering Jean's taunts intermingled with Hank's words, Logan cleared his throat, "I know it's been tormenting you Scott, but…"

"There was no excuse for what I did. Whether he deserved it or not, it wasn't up to me to make that decision," Scott lowered his head shamefully. He detangled himself from Logan's arms and walked out of the kitchen into the living room.

"Scott," Logan followed seeing Scott over by the fireplace, looking at the photo of him and Charles on the mantle.

"Charles only asked one thing of me and that was to keep it in check-to be better than what I could be," Scott fingers the top of the photo frame, letting out an ironic laugh, "and now I've become the very thing that we've despised. I'm out of control, consumed by madness, engulfed in rage…"

"It's not your fault," Logan softened his tone, watching Scott lower his head with a sad laugh.

"I'm aware of that, but it doesn't change what I've done," Scott bit back on his words. "In remembering I thought that it wouldn't change me, but it has Logan. It's shown me so many things that my mind couldn't take before…"

"I'm sorry," Logan lowered his head shamefully, "I wish you hadn't experienced that."

"You and me both," Scott sighed, tipping his head to the side to reveal the tearful depths of his blue eyes before Logan, "but I can't shut it off. I can't forget the things that they did to me or the others. Their screams haunt me, slip into my subconscious and I can't shut them off. I can't ignore them, nor can I feel remorse in knowing he's dead."

"How…how did you…?" Logan raised his head up to see the expression on Scott's face.

"That he's dead?" Scott let out an ironic laugh before shaking his head, "You're horrible at hiding things Logan. As if I didn't know what that shower was about. You killed him after you knocked me out and then you took Hank back to help you remove the body, didn't you?"

Logan tried to read Scott's features, to brace himself for the reaction Scott would have to the news before shaking his head, "I wanted to, but I couldn't…"

"Why?" Scott questioned tentatively.

"Because I knew we wouldn't be able to get what we needed if I did. I know it sounds ridiculous given that you're well aware of all the killing and death that surrounded my past, but this time, well this time I wanted answers out of him-to know the truth about…" Logan stopped himself seeing something pass over Scott's twisted features.

"About me?" Scott interrupted taking a step closer to Logan before rethinking the movement and pulling back. "Is that what you were hoping to get out of him? To learn what they did to me back then when I was in captivity before?"

"We both have been seeking out answers about the things Stryker did," Logan nodded quietly, "so I'd just assumed if I'd asked him what he did when…"

"When I was trapped?" Scott raised a speculative brow, his features darkening when he looked to Logan. "You were hoping he could tell you what he did to push me over the edge, weren't you?"

"I had a lot of questions for him Scott," Logan divulged taking in a breath, "some about that time yes and others…"

"If you were seeking out a more in depth reasoning behind the source of my anger where he was concerned it was stemmed from the fact that he nearly beat me to death Logan," Scott explained answering the unspoken question that was on the tip of Logan's tongue. "He and his friends took their turns at target practice in using their fists, fury, a hammer and a wire around my neck to keep me subdued all because I dared to fight back."

"Scott, I…I'm sorry…" Logan felt a pang of guilt at having imposed an invasion on Scott's tortured past by hinting that he'd wanted to know the truth about Scott's private suffering.

"I'm not," Scott decided standing taller and puffing out his chest, "Yes, it hurt like hell to endure that and maybe at the time I wished for death, but if I hadn't have fought back, then I shudder to think what the alternative would've been for me."

"Scott, I know I should've just asked you, but there were other questions and concerns I'd had. When the guy starting talking earlier, I just thought that maybe he would tell me something that…" Logan prepared to say something else, to conjure up some words of consolation, but instead he found himself at a loss.

"Victor never touched me that way either," Scott blurted out, catching Logan off guard with his statement. "He did a lot of horrible things, but never that. There are ways for monsters to break a person without using sexual violence as a weapon."

"Scott I…" Logan felt his face flushed with embarrassment over the conclusions that he'd drawn from the vile things Scott's one time captor had put into his mind back in the barn about Victor's possessiveness where Scott had been concerned during Scott's time in captivity.

"You didn't have to ask," Scott turned away from him, walking across the room to look out onto the night beyond the walls of the house, "I knew as soon as Hank told you about his theory of the origins of my new powers that it would enter into your mind. Given Victor's obsession with trying to destroy me, I knew you'd think the worst-that you'd believe that I was desperate enough to give in to…"

"No, I didn't believe that," Logan stepped forward, feeling relief wash over him in the moment, "Anything that you submitted yourself to during that time was something that you couldn't control. You were put into a bad situation Scott and…"

"Then I was a victim that endured a great many horrible things," Scott wrapped his arms around his body, "but I wouldn't allow myself to be victimized in that way regardless of who might've wanted to give it a try. Call it survival instincts or simply fear of what that could mean, but when it got down to it, I fought with every breath inside of me to keep that from happening. The man from the pub earlier today wanted it, tried to force it on me, but as you could see in his face, I didn't allow him the luxury. He failed so he opted for another approach in breaking me. With Victor, well, it was more about blood lust. He enjoyed hearing me scream-loved the agony that carried over me in trying to break me. It gave him a rush in trying to break me in almost every way imaginable, but in that respect he held back…"

"In the past I'd seen moments where he hadn't with others," Logan confessed shamefully, "I've known that he's done horrible things…"

"I'm not saying he didn't do them to the others," Scott replied stiffly, his voice hollow and lost in the past, "but just not to me. He enjoyed tearing me to pieces far too much to move onto any other kind of torment. He said it was my ability to keep from screaming just long enough to draw it out and make it enjoyable for him that really made me his favorite. He liked how I tried to keep it together and be strong before he broke me time and time again. He said it was his favorite part of the day in my fight before giving in to anguish…"

"Scott I…" Logan found himself at a loss, wishing he could say something to console his mate.

"I survived it Logan, but others didn't. I can hear their screams Logan. I can feel their pain-their misery," Scott trembled as the thought carried over him, "I try to shut it off, but Jean opened the door to it. I remember all of their screams, all of their cries for mercy, begging for someone to save them, but for a great many of them no one ever did."

"Scott," Logan stepped forward in a tentative stride. He placed his hand on Scott's shoulder, squeezing it gently in spite of the anger and helplessness that he'd felt in his heart over what Scott had endured, "I just wish…"

"For so many of them they didn't have a reprieve. They didn't have a savior when they needed one," Scott choked up on his words when his fingers pressed up over Logan's to hold his hand to his shoulder in a desperate squeeze, "They didn't have you."

"Scott, I'm far from anyone's savior," Logan mouthed painfully knowing of all the hurt he'd brought to others in his past.

"You're mine Logan," Scott blurted out in a raw, broken tone. Turning around to face Logan fully, he addressed him again behind tearful, blue eyes, "You've always been mine."

"I know you think that Scott, but I should've done something more. I should've stopped them sooner before they could…" Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott's face, thumb brushing over a tear that carried upon his pale skin.

"We both should've," Scott closed his eyes again. Bringing his fingers up over Logan's, he massaged the wide surface of Logan's thick fingertips tenderly, "but at the end of the day I know that the only reason I'm still alive right now is because of you Logan."

"You're alive because you're a fighter Slim…because you've always been a fighter even back then," Logan choked up on his words remembering what Hank had said to him about the torment Scott had endured.

"It wasn't your fault with what they did to me or any of us," Scott held Logan's hand tighter against his face. "Stryker had an agenda long before he sucked you into his world."

"What?" Logan blinked back at him before frowning, "Scott, are you in my…?"

"I can't help it. I know you asked me to stay out, but the temptation to seek out the truth was too strong," Scott admitted quietly, "I knew something was troubling you, figured it might have to do with what Hank said about me. I had to know if you were thinking that…"

"Scott, I don't think that…" Logan attempted to pull himself away, but Scott's grip on him intensified keeping Logan close to him. He watched Scott shudder slightly, his teeth biting into his lower lip as Logan's thoughts betrayed him, replaying the talk with Hank leading up to the ugly scene Logan had envisioned when Jean had joined Logan in the shower. Scott tensed, drawing back with a gasp before releasing Logan. "Scott…"

"Logan, what Jean showed you," Scott shivered at the intensity of the memory Jean had tried to implant in Logan's mind, "it wasn't real. It didn't happen like that. When we…it…it didn't play out that way…"

"I know that Slim," Logan replied quietly, hoping to do anything, but show the few doubts that had carried over him in the moment.

"No, you don't," Scott argued with a disapproving stare, "You want me to believe you're convinced that you didn't hurt me, but the manifestation of Jean has you feeling otherwise. She's good at seeking out a person's fears and exploiting them. I didn't understand that before, but after everything she's put me through over the last few days, I can't help, but realize it now. Whether she thinks she's in control or not, every time she invades me I can see her more clearly. I can feel her driving force and motivations in trying to break me. It doesn't help me stop her, but it gives me insight and clarity on her purpose in her madness. I can see she preys on the things that terrifies us. It quenches her thirst for destruction and gives her power."

"Scott," Logan started to protest.

"No Logan. I understand it now," Scott took in a labored breath, "She knows that more than anything you are afraid of hurting me. She looked inside of you and saw that, using it to make you feel something that you shouldn't, much like she's done with my guilt over how I'd hurt her. She spots a weakness and exploits it."

"What she showed me Slim…" Logan spoke up wearily, "it was so vivid. When we were sharing your thoughts and I saw that chair before…"

"That chair was the worst possible place I've ever been, but nothing horrible that happened there involved you," Scott explained solemnly, his eyes clouded by his emotions.

"You weren't able to see at the time Scott. In remembering I know that Chuck blocked that part of the past out of your mind," Logan explained with an uneasiness in his voice.

"Just because I didn't have my eyes didn't mean I wasn't able to have recall Logan. As you saw at the pub when I recognized that man's voice, I reacted," Scott reached out to take Logan's hand in his, "You know as well as I do that I've never reacted that way to you. The mind may lose sight of the details, but the body never forgets."

"Considering that I'd have a strong argument against that one myself Scott…," Logan opened his mouth to protest Scott's words.

"Your lost your memories, but your physical response never kept the truth from you," Scott's fingertips played over the center of Logan's chest. "From the start you felt a connection to me, a certain attraction that perhaps didn't reveal itself at the time you rescued me, but it was there for us. We both felt something that neither one of us could explain."

"There were a lot of horrible things I did in my time being associated with Stryker," Logan revealed full of doubt, "I was a soldier and…"

"When they challenged your integrity, you walked," Scott offered up in response.

"Scott, there was a point in my life when I had no integrity. I didn't think about anything beyond action, certainly not of consequence," Logan explained with an uneasiness in his tone.

"Regardless when they pushed the envelope too far, you had enough. You couldn't take it any longer because you didn't believe in sitting back and allowing the blood of the innocents to be spilled," Scott mouthed stepping in closer to him, "Whether you wanted to be a hero or not Logan, you emerged as one back at that facility."

"Perhaps, but when I think about what happened to you Scott," Logan shuddered feeling Scott's fingers slide up into his thick, dark hair. "In what Hank said about the test results when you arrived at the school…"

"I had the weight of the world on my shoulders when I arrived there Logan," Scott continued coaxing Logan to meet his concerned eyes again, "When those men almost killed me that night one of Stryker's more compassionate soldiers found me. He took me to the medical ward and they weren't convinced I'd pull through the attack. Stryker was there and he was furious. The details are still a bit sketchy, but in the assessment of my condition, Stryker ordered them to give me an injection. I was barely cohesive at the time, but I vaguely remember them talking about Weapon X and the next day, well my fingers had healed much like my hand did in Ohio. I didn't remember it until earlier today after we returned, but looking back I can see that my kneecap was no longer shattered after the injection. My ribs were barely bruised and…"

"An injection," Logan repeated feeling a moment of relief carry over him.

Scott nodded, "Yeah an injection. It was the first of many, but at the time I didn't understand. I didn't know what he was doing. I was afraid he was finding a new way of trying to kill me, but when the wounds began to heal, I didn't question it. Unlike what they'd done to others I was getting stronger. I wasn't dead and even in enduring torture, I was able to walk away without the scars…beyond the few that simply wouldn't leave from that night."

"Did you tell Hank about any of this?" Logan couldn't help, but question.

Scott shook his head again, "No. When he mentioned his findings to me, I didn't really give it the consideration that was needed at the time. Perhaps it was because I didn't want to think about it until I had to. However, once I had memory recall, I figured you and I should discuss it first before I opened the door to the past given that I knew you might be compelled to believe the worst."

"So then you're saying that…" Logan's eyes widened with surprise.

"Somehow Stryker in all of his madness felt the need to keep me alive. He wanted me to fulfill some kind of agenda for him, so he used something that you'd left behind to ensure that I wasn't going anywhere until I served my purpose with him," Scott explained standing up taller, a newfound sense of relief carrying over him, "so contrary to everyone's belief about what happened to me back then, I wasn't sexually assaulted. I didn't offer myself up as some kind of payment to my tormenters for my chance at freedom, nor did I spend any of my time on the streets before that trying to sell myself because of my condition."

"Selling yourself on the streets?" Logan blinked back at him with confusion in his tone.

"It's a long story, but let's just say that there are a lot of things children can be when someone different is around and unfortunately their means of speculation can breed cruelty even within our community," Scott divulged quietly, turning to look at the photo of him and Xavier once again, "I wasn't exactly Mr. Popular, so a lot of my peers came up with these outlandish speculations about my origins when they learned about where I'd come from. I mean how else could someone like me survive on their own if they hadn't been doing the worst of the worst, right? Or better yet the real question that lingered of how else could the blind kid stay alive before Xavier took pity upon him and played favorites in giving the weak one a leadership role?"

"Kids are idiots Scott," Logan frowned hearing the traces of pain in Scott's words. "They don't think and…"

"They aren't taught to in some cases," Scott took in a breath and faced Logan again, "but it didn't matter. When I came to the school I might've been afraid of me as well. There were so many things that were haunting me, so many feelings of survivor's guilt in escaping when others weren't able to. It consumed me and if it wasn't for Xavier trying to protect me…"

"He did a good thing Scott," Logan finally conceded, "He was trying to help you and it worked at a time when you needed it the most."

"I lost you when he did that," Scott stepped forward reaching out to touch the side of Logan's face, "I lost the memory of you saving me. When I found you again I was cruel and bitter, yet…"

"Hey, I wasn't a prince either," Logan couldn't help, but offer up a nervous laugh, "I didn't hold any lingering recollection of that time Slim."

"Even so the fact that you were there when I needed you the most got me thinking about everything Logan," Scott added again sliding his fingers into Logan's hair, "You're always here for me even when I'm not able to make sense of myself. I know I've been one problem after another lately, but…"

"You're far from being a problem," Logan cut him off abruptly, "Considering that you and I both have a great deal more in common than we initially thought, I think it's safe to say that we were destined to find one another-to be together."

"Together from pain to what? To joy? To bliss? To more pain and suffering for our sins?" Scott questioned worriedly, his eyes lost and confused by circumstance, "Is that what we're meant to be constantly surrounded by? Finding love again only to have it torn away from us when the world decides it's not what we need?"

"Not at all," Logan shook his head refusing to accept that answer, "we're just two people who happen to have a lot on our plates, but together, well we're just getting ready to sort it all out."

"I might be losing my mind Logan. If we discover that Jean's not really out there-that we're all wrong and her presence is simply a manifestation in my head brought on by a mixture of guilt and the testing that Stryker did on me in the past, then I'm going to have to accept the fact that…" Scott opened his mouth to protest, to immerse himself in the possibility.

"You aren't crazy," Logan urged him on further, "I know that's not what's happening here Scott. Deep down you realize that as well."

"You're biased because you love me Logan," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "You always want to see the best in me when I see the worst in the world that surrounds me. Anyone else would already be preparing a room to have me committed to a mental ward because…"

"You're only seeing the worst because that's what someone is trying to make you see," Logan curved his finger in over Scott's spine, crushing him in closer to Logan's chest. "Besides it stands to reason if you've lost your mind, then I have as well because we've both seen things. There's something out there whether it's Jean or someone else that has been specifically targeting us."

"They're doing one hell of a job with it," Scott conceded with a sigh, "If things keep up at this rate, then…"

"We're going to fight this. We're going to stay strong together and find a way to stop the chaos that's surrounded our lives since we returned to the school," Logan promised leaning in to press a chaste kiss over Scott's lips.

Scott wrapped his arms around Logan's shoulders, holding him closer than before. His fingertips rose up into the tousled edges of Logan's dark hair, "I wish I had your faith Logan."

"Hey, I don't have faith in anything," Logan dropped his hands down to pick Scott up, coaxing Scott to slide up into his arms, "any of it that I have now came from you. You're the one who always looks forward to a better tomorrow out there."

"That's because I stopped pretending that they didn't exist when I fell in love with you," Scott slurred squeezing his arms around Logan's strong, powerful shoulders. He arched forward, lips colliding with Logan's in a desperate, frenzied movement, sparking a reaction inside of Logan with their kiss all the while hoping to put the nightmares behind them for the time being.


	29. Chapter 29

Logan's arms surrounded Scott, squeezing him in closer to his chest. Unable to take Scott in fast enough with their mouths colliding, Logan thought about all the things they'd endured over the last few days. It seemed that life was getting increasingly more complicated as they stood on the threshold of the answers that had been evading them time and time again. Now with Scott's arms surrounding him, his slender, muscular form squeezing hard against Logan's broad, powerful chest, Logan thought about how much he stood to lose. He contemplated Jean's reemergence in their lives, thought about Scott's agonized psyche, unable to ignore the daunting images Jean had implanted in his mind. Imagining the torture that Scott had endured even after Scott's assurances, Logan tensed up, unable to focus completely on the man he loved before him.

"Scott, you should rest," Logan pulled back just enough to search Scott's features. His own mind wandered with the images Jean had thrust into his head, forcing the memory of Scott's anguish to the front of his brain, worming around like a parasite in heightening the uneasiness that Logan felt in holding Scott. Imagining himself hurting Scott, of doing unspeakable things at a time when he was without a conscience, Logan shuddered. He tried to recover, but the look in Scott's eyes revealed that Scott could sense something was wrong. Clearing his throat Logan spoke up again, "After everything that's happened today…"

"We're going to be leaving in the morning Logan. All of this fades away and becomes business as usual," Scott's hold on Logan intensified, his eyes silently pleading with Logan to let go of what was troubling him, "Can't we just have tonight?"

"We have a lifetime together Scott. We don't need to push it," Logan deflected Scott's pleading, knowing that it wasn't the answer Scott had been seeking out. The wounded expression on Scott's face said it all, but Logan couldn't banish the thoughts from his mind. Taking in a breath Logan opened his mouth to protest only to feel Scott's lips burning against his again. Scott's tongue dipped into the warmth of his mouth, coaxing another reluctant kiss out of Logan when Logan stumbled backwards, finding himself down on the couch cushions clumsily sprawled out with Scott on top of him. In a matter of moments Scott stretched out across his body, sliding his hands over the expanse of Logan's chest in a passionate, eager display of anticipation.

"I happen to like pushing it with you," Scott slurred, nibbling on the side of Logan's neck. His hands were buried underneath the t-shirt Logan had quickly slipped into after the near disaster in the shower. Warm, probing fingers caressed the solid, muscular lines of Logan's chest, teasing over his abdomen before Scott's fingers connected with the waistband on the sweatpants Logan was wearing. Still in thinking about all that had happened, Logan captured Scott's wrist and sighed.

"Pushing the envelope isn't what we want to do right now Scott," Logan murmured in a feeble attempt at a refusal, "knowing that…"

"Tell me that you're joking," Scott pulled back searching Logan's eyes for a minute. In an instant Scott's mood dramatically changed, "unless of course this isn't about your worrying about me taking it easy. This is about what Hank said isn't it? Or even what Jean implanted in your head? You're afraid to touch me now, aren't you?"

"What? Scott…no…of course not," Logan cleared his throat, watching Scott move up to a seated position on Logan's lap, "That's not it at all. I just know you've gone through a lot over the last couple of days and…"

"Do you think I'm taking advantage?" Scott couldn't help, but ask in offense feeling the inner voice inside of him taunting him with the knowledge that Logan was holding back, "That I'm trying to make myself stronger in…"

"No, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind," Logan shifted on the couch cushions beneath him. Seeing the glare that Scott was issuing him Logan struggled to find an appropriate response, "It's just if you and I start something that's too much after the day you've had, then…"

"Then nothing," Scott frowned down at him all the while fighting to contain the thoughts that consumed him, "you either want me or you don't Logan. It's as simple as that."

"I always want you," Logan sighed, dropping his head back on the arm of the sofa in an attempt to banish the thoughts that carried over him in the moment, "you know that."

"Then what's the problem?" Scott dipped down to kiss him again heatedly, refusing to back down from his attempt at claiming Logan's full attention once again.

"Nothing," Logan mouthed in between kisses, his hands sliding over Scott's hips to press in just above the curve of his bottom, contemplating all the ways he'd enjoy having Scott. It was the most natural thing in the world to be with Scott. It was truly the one hedonistic pleasure Logan could spent an eternity indulging in, but in remembering his earlier encounter with Jean in the shower, Logan shuddered and pulled back, "right now I just can't."

"Of course you can't," Scott scowled shoving Logan in the chest before pushing off of him with a renewed sense of frustration, "because I repulse you now, don't I? Because the idea of touching me sickens you after Jean's lies and everything you've witnessed, doesn't it?"

"That's not it at all Scott," Logan frowned seeing Scott stomp across the room, "Scott, come on."

"No Logan it's written all of your face. You're allowing yourself to be manipulated by a memory that didn't exist. Jean showed you your worst fear to hold you captive to it," Scott countered with an air of distain in his tone. His brow creased with tension, mind filled with the nagging voice that tormented him, telling him that Logan no longer wanted him, "She knew that you wouldn't be able to shake such a jarring image once she added the twist of Victor and the chair that I slipped up in showing you. She knew you'd hold back after that…"

"Scott, that's not what…" Logan curled his lip in protest, preparing to offer up another explanation to alleviate Scott's frustrations.

"Yes it is," Scott laughed sarcastically envisioning the triumph Jean's memory must've been feeling in the moment of victory in pushing Logan and Scott apart, "as I said before it's written all over your face Logan. She found a way to push her madness inside with you because working one over on me wasn't enough. My guilt wasn't strong enough to prevent me from following my heart, but yours, well from the dream of killing me the other night to this…"

"It was an explicit thought Scott," Logan half protested, not bothering to hide what had been on the front of his mind, "To think that I could be capable of something like that…"

"But you weren't Logan. You didn't do anything to me that I didn't want," Scott threw his hands up in the air in frustration, "You're the only man I've ever been with, the only one I've ever wanted and everything that we've shared has been because of the love I feel for you, not because someone forced you into hurting me."

"I want to believe that, but even if I know she manufactured the memory somehow-even in using it as a means of separating us, it's just so fresh and raw right now…" Logan confessed with an uneasiness in his voice. "To think about you in that position…"

"So now to add insult to injury when you're focused on something awful, it's not even something I've done. It's not something that's happened lately, but rather it's brought on by an illusion," Scott feigned a laugh as his face twisted tight with anger, "Wow, I never thought that of the two of us, Jean would break you first."

"Scott that's not what…" Logan frowned up at him.

"Of course it is. You're struggling to find any reason in the world not to touch me-not to be with me when this morning it was all you could think about. You've listened to everything that happened to me and have seen what's become of me because of it and thanks to Jean's manipulations you now want none of it. You think I'm a weak, little victim who can't hold his own. You think I allowed myself to be broken and…" Scott threw his hands up in the air.

"I never said that," Logan replied in his own defense. He sat up straighter on the couch, attempting to reason with Scott.

"You didn't have to Logan. It's written all over your face. I can see what you think about me now. You pity me," Scott continued to rant, his voice raising with his anger, "You think that I'm pathetic, weak and not worthy of what we have together. I disgust you, don't I?"

"Now you're just being irrational," Logan frowned back at him, "I'm worried about what's best for you and…"

"Best for you," Scott heard the voice inside of his head taking shape, returning to that ever present cajoling that Jean had implanted in his subconscious, "since when has Logan wanted what was best for you?"

Scott clenched his teeth, struggling to ignore the voice when Logan continued to speak to him, his words becoming a blur of rejection as the voice continued to lash out at Scott. It ridiculed him, driving him closer to madness in emphasizing Logan's rejection again and again. It was chipping away at Scott's resolve, whispering in the back of his mind, replaying the image that Jean had used to torment Logan-to lie to him about his beginnings with Scott in such a way that there would be lasting consequences in the deception. Scott shuddered knowing that Logan's doubts were keeping him from following through on his desire. It was because of Jean's madness that Logan was intent on keeping Scott at arm's length.

_"He can't handle being with you anymore Scott. You're too much for him to…"_ the voice prodded further, hoping to pull Scott into a darker place when he threw his hands up in the air, having had more than enough of the torment.

"Save it Logan," Scott huffed attempting to gain clarity over the voice in his head. When he found his thoughts darkening, unsuccessful in his quest to gain focus again, he threw his hands up in the air and groaned. Giving up on trying to be rational, Scott spun on his heel, turning around and marching over to the staircase to head up the stairs, "because as far as I'm concerned you can enjoy your need for space tonight on the couch here while I…"

"Damn it," Logan cursed under his breath, allowing himself to let go of his reservations long enough to spring up off of the couch with enough force to get a jump start on Scott. Logan watched Scott clasp his head, cursing under his breath before making a move forward. Logan advanced upon Scott, who was already three steps closer to the top step. Although it was a stretch, Logan reached out for Scott seizing his lean, muscular frame in a quick, jerking movement. Logan dragged him down the steps, causing Scott to nearly trip face forward. Sensing the movement, Logan curled his arm around Scott's waist, dragging him over the steps. Scott let out another curse and pressed his palms into the carpeted step when Logan restrained Scott down beneath him. "This is getting ridiculous!"

"You're ridiculous," Scott snarled feeling Logan's weight pinning him down on the ground. Scott arched upward and was met with the undeniable force of Logan hoping to keep Scott at bay for the moment. Scott writhed again in protest, his anger surging through him when he was pleasantly rewarded by the involuntary groan that spilled from Logan's lips onto the back of his neck. It caused Scott's skin to react, greedily seeking out the warmth of Logan's breath despite Scott's retreat. He closed his eyes imprinting the feel of Logan over him in his mind, yet knowing of how stubborn Logan had been in refusing him, Scott found himself distracted by other, more consuming, taunting thoughts of Logan's rejection.

_"He doesn't want you Scott,"_ the voice in his head tormented, _"He's just leading you on until something better comes along. He's planning his escape for when you become too much of a burden."_

Scott bit down on his lower lip, struggling to ignore the taunts. He could feel Logan's breath skim against his neck, his lips parting in the beginnings of a whisper, but the voice in Scott's mind was too strong to ignore. It kept goading him, causing him to reflect on Logan's readiness to discard him. It took him back to another time and place when Logan had walked away. When things were complicated and…

"Scott," Logan spoke his name, pushing through the conflicting thoughts in Scott's mind. It was enough of a jolt to bring Scott back to the moment, back to the feel of the man he loved hovering over him, wanting to seek out Scott's motivation in his anger. There was a subtle brush of Logan's hips over Scott's thighs, the weight of Logan's heavy frame crushing down with just enough force to keep Scott captive. It was lingering, drawing out sensations beyond the anger, yet Scott remained motionless.

Keeping his eyes closed tightly, Scott fought to banish the nagging doubts swirling around in his mind. He was furious, confused, frustrated and needing to vent somehow. He needed to stop the words guiding his thoughts, to break free of the crippling hold the insecurity brought upon him. He needed to fight back. He had to lash out at something, anything or anyone if it meant clearing his head. He let out a low growl despite the lust Logan had awakened inside of him simply by keeping Scott captive on the staircase. Logan's body had brought about comfort in the past, means of putting Scott at ease, but in thinking about how quick Logan was to reject him, Scott felt his anger still getting the best of him.

Tired of the strain and the manipulations Jean's lingering presence was putting on his relationship, Scott couldn't help, but want to lash out in the moment. Using the fury induced strength Scott had inside of him, he started to rise up off of the step, in an attempt to push Logan off of him. However, when it was clear that Logan's weight wasn't going to allow it, Scott took another approach instead elbowing Logan in the ribs with enough force to cause Logan to gasp.

"Hey," Logan curled his lip in protest, "what the hell was that for?"

"For refusing me," Scott geared up beneath Logan, spinning around on the carpeted stairs beneath Logan so that Scott was staring up at him. Instead of trying to kiss him as Scott was certain Logan had anticipated, Scott drove his elbow up into Logan's nose causing it to bleed with a sharp, sudden pain indicating that Scott had broken it in his movement, "and that was for pissing me off."

"Son of a…" Logan brought his hand up over his nose, twisting it slightly until he felt the blinding rush of pain pass when his healing powers kicked in. No longer bleeding Logan glared down at Scott once again, "What the hell is wrong with you Scott?"

"I'm not a victim anymore Logan and I don't expect to be treated as one," Scott moved his arm up in an attempt to hit Logan again, but this time Logan was prepared. He reached for Scott's wrist, pinning it up high above his head, twisting it into the carpet as Scott winced. The movement caused Scott to recoil bringing his other arm out only to receive the same lightening, quick response from Logan.

"No one ever said you were Scott," Logan frowned feeling Scott writhe beneath him in protest. Logan used one hand to secure Scott's hands above his head, the other squeezing at Scott's face to still his movement and force Scott to look at him, "We just have a long day ahead of us tomorrow and…"

"You and your flimsy excuses can go to hell Logan. Just say what you really mean. Don't hide behind what you feel obligated to say," Scott spat in response, anger overruling logic when he shifted beneath Logan again, this time attempting to bring his leg up to kick Logan in the abdomen. Logan countered releasing Scott's face in order to seize Scott's knee and drag it up over his waist, causing their hips to collide in an involuntary press. Still uneasy over the angle they were at, Logan dropped down a step, taking Scott with him.

"I don't know what your problem is Scott, but right now we're not going to…" Logan attempted to calm Scott down, to keep him from having a temper tantrum, but Scott continued to fight him, kicking and wiggling beneath Logan with a newfound sense of determination.

"You're my problem," Scott seethed pushing upward with just enough force to cause Logan to lose his footing on the staircase. Logan slid down to the floor, dragging Scott with him before Scott's now freed hand made an attempt to hit Logan again. This time his fist connected with Logan's jaw causing him to snarl, to spring into action in slamming Scott down onto the floor, ready to attack.

"The only problem I see right now is you and this little temper tantrum of yours. I don't understand where it's coming from. You were fine a second ago, but now…," Logan growled, pinning Scott down on the floor beneath him. While he'd tried to be reasonable, there was no point in trying with Scott beneath him, fighting to strike Logan again.

"Tell me how you really feel about me Logan," Scott taunted kicking his leg out from underneath Logan. Twisting his leg, he coiled it up around Logan's waist, digging his heel into Logan's back in a painful twist. "Tell me all about how Jean lead you to believe I'm weak…that I can't hold my own against you…"

"I never said that," Logan protested with a frown.

"You're thinking it. I can sense it on you Logan," Scott scowled with a grunt behind his movements beneath Logan, "You keep radiating the thought louder with each passing second. You think I'm weak. Just admit it."

"Stay out of my head Scott!" Logan warned sharply when he felt the press of Scott pouring into his head attempting to seek out validation in his claims, "I've told you time and time again that…"

"You just don't want me seeing what's really happening here. You don't want me to know just how little you think of me, do you?" Scott taunted, his voice cracking with aggravation when Logan slammed him into the ground once again in an attempt to sever Scott's attempt at a connection between them.

"You're really pissing me off now Scott," Logan hissed involuntarily grinding down into Scott in anger. His nostrils flared, eyes widening with rage, mouth curving downward in a scowl when it was clear Scott was beyond reasoning with in his sudden outburst.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Scott seethed with animosity, the bitter sting of Logan's rejection causing him to return to rage.

"I should pick you up, tie you down to the bed," Logan countered seeing the flash of disappointment behind Scott's deep blue eyes, "and force you to sleep."

"I dare you to try," Scott challenged, the beginnings of a twisted smirk carrying over him at the notion of physically sparring with Logan.

"I said that's what I should do because heaven knows you need it, but I think I'll just find other ways to make you cool down instead," Logan decided leaning forward to bite into the side of Scott's neck. The movement caused Scott to arch his head upward, a grunt spilling from his lips when Logan squeezed at Scott's thigh, forcing it up higher over his body in an immobilizing stretch.

"Give it your best shot Logan," Scott taunted before raising his hips upward. His breath released from his lips in a shallow pant with his fingers wiggling over the carpet Logan kept him caged against.

"Remember this is what you asked for," Logan whispered sinking his teeth into Scott's shoulder once again. Releasing his teeth from Scott's flesh, Logan hesitated before his tongue traced over the base of Scott's throat, taking in Scott's frantic pulse beneath his kiss. Imprinting Scott's taste in his memory, Logan couldn't help, but find himself aroused by Scott's anger. The combination of madness and Logan's mark upon Scott was as captivating as the sound of Scott's broken breath beneath him. Feeling the encouragement from the whimper rising in the back of Scott's throat, Logan's fingers squeezed over Scott's wrists, pressing him harder against the carpet in a need to bring Scott to his senses again. He felt Scott's leg squeeze against him, drawing Logan over him, forcing their mouths to collide in a frantic, explosive, out of control kiss.

"On second thought," Logan tore himself away from the kiss leaving Scott breathless. He pulled back staring into Scott's eyes for a long, tense moment of contemplation, "I think I will take you to bed after all."

"That's what I was hoping to hear," Scott smirked triumphantly, settling back into the carpet once again.

"To sleep," Logan clarified, catching the beginnings of the scowl that carried over Scott's lips, "you need to rest."

"You've spent all morning trying to coax me into sex and now that I'm offering it, you don't want it," Scott let out an ironic laugh while his frustrations mounted, "Seriously Logan that's not what I want to hear right now."

"I know you don't," Logan loosened his grip on Scott's wrists, releasing them and letting out a long sigh, "but I don't want to hurt you. That terrifies me."

"If you haven't noticed everything that's happened between us so far hasn't hurt me," Scott released a pained breath, "except the idea of rejection."

"I'm not rejecting you," Logan touched the side of his face, "not by a long shot."

"Then why hold back? Why not just go with it?" Scott couldn't help, but ask with a raw, achy breath. "Tomorrow I'm going to be sitting in Hank's lab being poked, prodded and absolutely miserable. Is it really so wrong to have one night where I'm enjoying myself? Where we are enjoying ourselves for a bit?"

"Scott," Logan opened his mouth in protest, preparing to infuse logic and reason into his response, but when Scott gazed up at him with big, blue eyes half pleading, half wounded in his expression, Logan relented, "you aren't making this easy on me."

"I could make this very easy on you if you'd stop fighting it," Scott wrapped his arms around Logan's shoulders tightly. His fingertips danced over the dip in Logan's shoulders, sliding down over the rippled contours of his back, dropping down to Logan's bottom in an urgent squeeze.

"I'm trying to be the good guy for once here," Logan groaned outwardly, feeling temptation tickle over his senses in an attempt to overrule logic.

"I'm not looking for the good guy right now Logan. I'm looking for the man who's good at loving me in every way imaginable," Scott divulged biting at Logan's lower lip ravenously and dragging Logan down with him to the floor again with the pull. With Logan over him, Scott released a shivering exhale, mouth craving a deeper connection between them. Rising up off of the floor, he coaxed Logan into another, slow, languorous kiss, setting a far different pace from the one they'd broken into moments earlier. Scott's fingers fanned out over Logan's spine, dropping down to bunch the fabric of his t-shirt up over his waist, sliding further over the center of his chest in an eager attempt at removing it, "I need this Logan. Please."

"Don't do that. Scott, I'm really trying to…," Logan's words vibrated against Scott's mouth, the heated whisper drawing Logan's attention to the scent of lust and yearning that carried over his lover. Instinctively Logan's lips tapered off over the base of Scott's throat, tasting the hunger saturating his skin with each flick of Logan's tongue upon him.

"Please," Scott whispered again, fingers sliding over the contours of Logan's chest in an alluring passion play.

"Don't," Logan repeated with a groan knowing that his resolve to refuse Scott was leaving him with each passing second.

"What?" Scott questioned lazily pushing the t-shirt up enough to cause Logan to pull back.

Relenting, Logan sat up straighter, tossing his shirt aside before returning to kiss Scott again with more eagerness behind his attempt. Carelessly Logan's fingers pulled at the buttons on Scott's shirt, peeling it away from his lean, muscular frame before his lips settled in over Scott's chest. The faint, brush of Logan's mouth caused Scott's chin to rise up, head tipping back as a small sound rushed from the back of his throat. His fingers tangled in Logan's hair, savoring the rhythm of Logan's tongue tracing patterns over his skin again and again.

"Logan," Scott whispered tightly, his body rising up off of the floor to meet Logan's mouth in a playful tease, "why should we waste any more time debating the subject with one another when we both want this more than anything?"

"Because you know as well as I do that you need to rest," Logan growled reaching for Scott's belt buckle and releasing it, "The mere fact that I'm letting things get this far just proves that…"

"You love me," Scott decided coaxing Logan to return to him in an demanding, bruising kiss. Their tongues collided in a silent dance, urgency prickling over their senses when Logan thought back to all the things that had happened for Scott over the last few days.

"Scott, I'm sorry…" Logan attempted to detangle himself from Scott's arms, releasing Scott's now open belt and sighing, "right now I know Hank would be wanting to slaughter me for even thinking that I could overexert you tonight before…"

"Hank?" Scott's eyes widened with insult, "so now Hank is your excuse? Hell Logan, if you don't want to touch me, then just say it. Tell me that I repulse you and get it over with."

"That's not at all what I'm saying Scott. I'm just trying to be…" Logan frowned feeling Scott snarl and shove Logan away from him once again. This time fury whipped out into the room surrounding them, assaulting Logan with it's raw, pulsating force. Logan opened his mouth to say something more, but instead watched his lover turn away, still too shaken from their kisses to rush out of the room, yet stubborn enough to crawl over to the bottom of the staircase they'd been fighting on earlier.

"Something we're not," Scott finished scowling with heavy disdain.

With each upward movement Scott made in an attempt to crawl away from Logan, Logan strained to think of a damn good reason why saying no was right for them. Scott was irrational, yes, but it didn't stop the way that Logan had felt about him. His pleas had served to enhance Logan's hunger, to rethink everything he'd been trying to accomplish in keeping a distance. Yes, Jean's vision had been terrifying, chilling and mind poisoning much like the dream Logan had of murdering Scott, yet in seeing Scott start to pull away looking completely miserable, Logan found himself questioning the action. Instinctively, Logan pushed his conscience aside long enough to chase after what he wanted in Scott, effectively caging Scott on the staircase beneath him once again. He felt Scott shudder, a tremble carry over him when Logan's lips hovered over the back of his neck. The tip of Logan's tongue teased over Scott's earlobe, words coming out in a heated breath of whisper, "What is it about you Summers that makes you believe that someone can't love you enough to put your needs first and want what's best for you?"

"I don't think that's what stopping you," Scott argued with him in an involuntary press back into Logan's warm breath against his skin.

"Well, you're wrong because right now all I care about is making sure you're alright. Why can't you understand that?" Logan sighed still keeping Scott pinned down beneath him in a determined slide. His lips pressed over the side of Scott's neck offering up a feathery, light kiss over his pulse point.

"Because it doesn't feel that way," Scott divulged behind gritted teeth, his blue eyes straining to a close when his lips parted. "It feels like you're slipping away from me, preparing to walk when the opportunity arises."

"If that were the case, I would've done it a long time ago," Logan mouthed unable to ignore his beast when he pressed in against Scott once again, taking his earlobe between his teeth, "I'm not going anywhere Scott."

"I've lost everyone in my life that's ever mattered to me Logan. My parents, my brother, Charles…hell, even Jean to some degree. They all promised they would be here-that they would stand by me, but when I let them down, they disappeared. They were gone and nothing I did to make up for it could change how I'd failed them. I disappointed each and every one of them and I don't want to do the same with you. I don't want to lose you after all the stupid things I've done lately," Scott divulged quietly, unable to refrain from revealing the truth he'd been hiding since the day he'd lost control at the club. It was in his darkest hours that he found himself consumed by his fears of ending up on his own again, alone and terrified of what he'd become. With each day he knew his life was crumbling, felt that it was stealing his joy, yet with the realization weighing in upon him, it made him see just how much he'd needed Logan. It brought weight upon the reality of how in having Logan it was the closest he'd ever been to true happiness.

"You won't lose me," Logan promised tenderly.

"You left me twice already," Scott let out a pained sigh, "Who is to say that you won't do it again when you realize that I'm too much of a mess for you to deal with?"

"You aren't a mess Scott. If anything you're one of the strongest, most put together people I know. You're intense, brave, passionate and ready to fight for what you want no matter what," Logan whispered against his skin. Sliding one arm down over the side of Scott's body, he couldn't help, but curl his thick fingers over Scott's hip, squeezing it affectionately, "You deserve better than all I've given you. As for leaving you, I was a fool to think I could be normal in walking away and fighting my feelings for you. You were too deep into my system to walk away when I did. That's why I came back again."

"And the first time? Did I mean so little to you that your memory couldn't fight to hold onto me?" Scott questioned quietly turning his head on the step beneath him. He kept his face away from Logan, shielding his expression and straining to keep his thoughts under control. He opened his mouth to say something more, to follow through on his thoughts, but instead he fought unsuccessfully to hold back in trying to recover from his emotions, "When…when you rescued me was I too weak to really make an impression on you back then? Was I so irrelevant that you didn't want to try to learn more about who I was? Logan, wasn't there some part of me that lingered through the years…that you felt inside of you when we found one another again?"

"I was in a bad place when we first encountered one another. I was consumed by rage, by a blinding fury and after I learned that everyone lied to me, I swore off love. At the compound I was all about revenge to the point that I couldn't focus on anything else. The world around me was a blur because I was bitter, angry and…" Logan attempted to explain to Scott about their first encounter with one another.

"That's not what I'm…" Scott bit down on his lower lip trying to refrain from following through on his thoughts. Instead he let out a small sigh, keeping his eyes closed tightly and nodding, "I know our first encounter wasn't all that memorable since I was one of many faces that day you saved us."

"Scott, there were so many things happening at that time in my life. I was lead by fury and even now I know there are huge chunks buried so deep in my subconscious that I'm afraid are gone forever," Logan confessed thinking about the memory Scott had shared with him about his rescue.

"Forever," Scott repeated sinking his teeth further into his lip as he struggled to keep his thoughts buried, "gone…."

"Our first meeting didn't exactly make for a good time. It was chaotic and frenzied, but…" Logan paused straining to hold onto the fragments of memory that carried over the dark corners of his mind, "Stryker manipulated me Scott and I lost myself after that."

"I know," Scott mouthed quietly, a shivering exhale escaping from his lips, "I just can't help, but think that if somehow I had made an impact on you back then-if somehow you had seen what kind of potential I had that maybe you wouldn't have left. Maybe we could've started this sooner-that we could've had something special with one another that…"

"You might've been the one who was blinded at the time Slim, but I was the idiot who truly couldn't see that the boy I rescued would grow up to become the man I would one day come to love more than anything in this world. Memory loss or not I should've found a way back to you long before I did. If only I knew then that you'd be the only one I wanted to share this life with," Logan whispered feeling Scott's lithe form push up off of the step beneath them. The subtle press added fuel to Logan's fire when his fingers eased across Scott's hip, sliding out to the front of Scott's slacks despite his concerns for Scott's condition.

"Logan, there's something that I haven't shared with you because it didn't hit me until recently, but now that I know-now that I remember... There's something that I need…to tell you…that I…we…," Scott murmured bringing his head back up into Logan's shoulder with a sharp, exaggerated breath when Logan pulled at the zipper of Scott's slacks, pushing his way inside to feel the warmth of Scott's body beneath him.

"Shh, we can talk about all that later Scott…" Logan instructed kissing the back of Scott's neck, savoring the sweet taste of the tortured man beneath him. Knowing that it was futile to keep Scott at arm's length when everything inside of him was reaching out to hold Scott, Logan brought one hand up through Scott's dark hair, gently massaging his scalp while his other hand eased into Scott's boxer shorts seeking out the root of his masculinity.

Scott's pulse quickened, his hips thrust forward at the skin to skin contact between them. The heat of Logan's breath surged over Scott's shoulder, sliding up over the side of his neck when Logan's tongue traced a hot, wet line over Scott's flesh. Scott's lips parted, a tiny whimper building in the back of his throat when Logan's fingers coaxed over Scott's spine, mimicking the slow, subtle patterns that Logan's tongue created against his skin. Scott bit down on his lower lip, allowing the weight of Logan's grinding body to press in over him, coaxing a familiar rhythm out of Scott. Logan's fingers pulled Scott out from within, stroking and teasing, his tongue tracing Scott's earlobe, wanting nothing more than to carry Scott over to contented bliss at the conclusion of their disagreement. Scott's hips writhed back into Logan, knees pushing his body up off of the stairs when Logan eased his thigh between Scott's legs in an attempt to secure his positioning behind Scott.

"Logan it's just…," Scott breathed in a shallow pant while his arm slid out beneath Logan, reaching around to squeeze at Logan's muscled thigh, desperate and needing a deeper connection between them, "please…"

"You've got nothing to fear where I'm concerned. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon or ever for that matter," Logan confessed releasing Scott beneath his boxer shorts. He heard Scott whimper, anticipation spilling from his lips when Logan's fingers peeled Scott's slacks open further, drawing them down past his thighs and pooling them at his knees. A moment later the boxer shorts followed before Logan reached out to wrap his arm around Scott's waist, positioning him up over the staircase just enough to gain some control over the situation. Dropping forward he kissed the back of Scott's neck once again, his hand returning to stroke the newly exposed skin between Scott's thighs, "You should know by now that I love you more than anything in this world. Do you know why that is?"

"Because you think I'm a good lay?" Scott groaned in a shallow pant, a hint of teasing carrying over his tone in the hopes of hiding his insecurities that were still raw and on the surface between them.

"That's always a plus, but nope, that's only a fraction of it," Logan whispered, his words creating a soft, warm vibration over Scott's body, matching the rhythm of his heart pounding beneath the surface.

"Maybe it's the fact that after being pushed for so long I'm stubborn, impossible and I always fight to get what I want that might now play a hand in it," Scott breathed savoring the feel of Logan's lips until the moment Logan inched away from kissing Scott's neck.

"The fact that you're a fighter is the ultimate turn on," Logan conceded with a low, rumble of laughter spilling over his lips when he brought their hands together. Their fingers interlaced on a carpeted step, Logan's ring finger brushing up against Scott's before Logan dipped down to kiss the back of Scott's neck tenderly, "but the truth is that there's no other person in this world that reaches me like you do. What we have…it's unlike anything I've ever known."

"I've always felt that way about you too Logan," Scott agreed keeping his eyes closed tightly as he took in the rugged scent of Logan, allowing it to consume his senses, to allow his memory the opportunity to imprint everything about Logan over him.

"I love you," Logan whispered freely, his voice devoid of any signs of strain or pressure in the declaration that Scott had often expected after each one of his violent outbursts. Instead of Logan's words being clouded by disappointment in Scott, they were given freely, genuine and without any other reasoning behind it aside from the warmth of honesty it carried with it.

"I love you too," Scott sighed, contented by Logan's words, knowing that he'd craved them just as much as he'd craved the man over him. In feeling Logan surround him, promising his love and loyalty, Scott felt stronger, almost invincible in knowing that whatever disaster was ahead, he'd no longer have to face it alone. However, before he could allow it to settle in completely, he felt Logan shifting above him breaking the connection between them. Logan's hand left Scott's, the warmth of his body disappearing as Scott's eyes fell to a frustrated close.

A chill carried over Scott, surrounding him when Logan pulled back, releasing Scott from his possessive grip. Now alone and almost completely naked on the stairs, anguish carried over Scott in anticipating the moment of impending rejection in Logan's retreat, taking him from victory to failure in winning the battle with Logan's conscience. Frowning Scott pushed his hands into the carpeted step beneath him preparing to argue with Logan's decision to sever the ties between them after whispering words of love. It felt out of place, foreign to the moment for Logan to walk away when Scott was overtaken by the sound of clothing being shifted around in Logan working to accommodate their new situation with one another. Scott opened his mouth to say something more, to try to rationalize with Logan when Logan returned armed with the means and determination to see through on their seduction.

"I really wish you would've rested for a while," Logan grudgingly admitted crawling up one of the steps to slide in over Scott. He reached for Scott's hair, twining it in his fingers before pushing Scott's thighs further apart and filling the void he'd created in leaving a few moments earlier.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead," Scott mouthed defiantly, feeling an exhilarating, flash of warmth center in over his body before Logan finally relented pushing forward to bridge the distances between them with a firm, solid thrust in the hopes of bringing an end to the doubts that surrounded Scott's tortured psyche once and for all.


	30. Chapter 30

Breathlessness consumed Scott, taking him from the heavens to the reality that he was still back in Ohio with Logan, feeling the weight of his lover's adamantium laced body extended out over the back of his spine, still caught up in passion's aftermath. Logan's arms were stretched out above Scott's head taking Scott's hands up high with him. Their fingers collided, Scott's palms twisted into loose fists intertwined with Logan's. There was a small squeeze into the sensitive skin between each digit on Scott's hand when Logan's fingers coiled tightly into the carpeting imprinting the moment between them. Logan's teeth were still clasped in Scott's shoulder, marking him in a painfully exquisite form of ownership. Scott's breath was uneven, body covered in a thin layer of sweat with Logan still inside of him, softening and contented in the moments that followed their passion. Exhaling sharply, the side of Scott's face tingled, carrying the undoubtedly noticeable signs of rug burn that weathered upon his otherwise flawless skin. It was an exquisite sting, one Scott knew wouldn't last, but it was one that marked what had been missing in Scott's life for so very long. It was a sign of belonging, of being needed and wanted by someone that had meant the world to him. Together they felt incredible, perfect in so many ways, yet apart with the world between them, it only served to remind Scott about how miserable he'd been before returning to Logan.

"I love you," Logan whispered pressing a heated kiss against the damp fringes of hair at the back of Scott's neck. With a heavy breath, he pulled out of Scott, severing the connection between them much to Scott's dismay. While the pleasures sex had provided them were now simmering down, leaving them satiated and soothed by their physical connection, Scott couldn't help, but revel in just how empty his life had been without Logan. In thinking about the time Scott had spent at the house living in a world that wasn't what he'd wanted, wasn't what he'd longed for in being isolated from the world around him, he felt his heart sink. Keeping his eyes closed he listened to the rustling sounds of Logan attempting to haphazardly clean up the mess they'd made with one another.

"Let it go Logan," Scott mouthed heavily, his words laced with the contentment he'd felt in having Logan beside him, "Don't worry about it. Just come back over here."

"You say that now, but I know later you're going to be angry with me for…" Logan crawled back up the stairs to collect Scott in his embrace.

"I don't care," Scott finally admitted reaching out to wrap his arm around Logan's. Although his body still ached in the quiet buzz of pleasure, causing him to feel weightless, he managed to pull together enough strength to reach for Logan's hand, guiding it to wrap around his still trembling form.

"You will," Logan whispered pressing another tender kiss over Scott's neck, "especially when…"

"I don't and I won't," Scott squeezed Logan's fingers tighter than before, "I just wanted to remember this-to remember you a little longer."

"Funny thing about how important a memory can be," Logan mused lazily, his fingers interlaced with Scott's once again, "you don't realize how much it means to you until you've lost it."

"I don't ever want to lose this or you again Logan," Scott divulged unable to shake the feelings that had consumed him. "If you were gone…"

"Hey," Logan whispered carefully turning Scott in his arms so that they were facing one another. His fingertips pressed over the side of Scott's face, touching the reddened skin covering his cheekbone in a tender press, "I thought we already covered this Scott. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

"I know," Scott nodded unable to meet Logan's eyes completely, "although I can't blame you for having doubts. Hell, I thought that you'd be better off without me after the trouble I've gotten into lately…"

"We both know that line of thinking is a mistake Scott," Logan warned simply, "We've been there, done that too many times already. You don't want to lose me and I'm certainly not giving you up again. Face it regardless of what happens we're in it for the long haul now."

"So we are," Scott turned his face to the side seeing the ring on Logan's finger, "I just hope that I don't disappoint you too much."

"I wish Jean hadn't done this to you Scott," Logan blurted out thoughtlessly. "Before she stole your powers you didn't doubt yourself so much. You weren't in a constant state of turmoil over how special you are. You knew you had it going on and…"

"I was never that self-confident," Scott opened his mouth to protest.

"Maybe not, but you knew enough to see that Scott Summers is pretty damn amazing," Logan pointed out in an impassioned tone. "I think it's time you realized that he sure as hell had better be considering that I married him."

"Because he forced you into…" Scott attempted to argue the point with Logan, only to feel Logan's palm press over the center of his lips to silence him.

"Don't go there Scott because I'm fairly certain that you know that isn't the case. We already had this discussion and besides," Logan searched his eyes once again, "I know you were in my head when we were together before, so I'm certain you felt what I was thinking. I know you know the truth."

Scott closed his eyes and sighed, "I know I promised I wouldn't, but I just needed to know…"

"Did you get your answers?" Logan eased his fingers into Scott's damp, dark hair, "Can you finally let go of the notion that you aren't the most important thing in the world to me?"

"Did you feel my thoughts?" Scott reopened his eyes to look up at Logan, "Could you feel what I was feeling?"

"I have a lot of ways to sense what you're feeling Scott," Logan massaged his fingers over Scott's jaw line, "My instincts alone can sense things that most others can't and…"

"Could you feel my thoughts though Logan like I could feel yours?" Scott questioned blinking up at him. "I tried to reveal myself to you completely. I was afraid at first of crossing that boundary, but I thought it only fair to try to let you see what you do for me."

Logan nodded breathlessly, "I just wish there wasn't so much doubt intermingled with the pleasure you were experiencing."

"I don't know what's wrong with me Logan," Scott sighed resting his head against Logan's chest when they relocated to the living room floor with one another, "It's like ever since I was stripped of my powers there's this emptiness inside of me-like a huge chunk of what guided me on is missing. A part of my confidence and sense of security went with it. I thought that I'd found it again, but now…I can't help, but feel like that lost teenager again at times, who doesn't know what to make of the world around him."

"I don't make you feel that way, do I?" Logan questioned leaning back against the carpet and taking Scott over him more completely. Wrapping his arm around Scott's damp skin, he couldn't help, but sigh, "I haven't caused this, have I?"

"No," Scott replied quietly, "this all started a long time ago. It's been building for a while and after I lost my powers, well, first came the nightmares and then the helplessness."

"You aren't helpless Scott," Logan reminded him with a tight squeeze. "You were never helpless. You said it yourself. You're not a victim anymore."

"You didn't see me during that time I was away," Scott divulged raising his head up to meet Logan's eyes again, "Aside from that period in time when you and I came together again, I was far from being centered. I was lost and uncertain about which direction to go in. There was this part of me that felt the huge void in being without you, my powers and without…"

"Without what?" Logan sensed Scott tensing up beneath him.

"I think a part of me knew when Jean died," Scott exhaled slowly, "At least I thought I did at the time. When she was gone I felt it. It opened the void further, but now…"

"What do you mean?" Logan questioned feeling Scott shift in his arms, "How did you know?"

"When Jean and I were younger she forged a bond between us. In some cases it comes naturally between two people in a relationship over time, but with her powers, well, it was easier to enter into," Scott finally confessed with an uneasiness in his voice. "When we first became lovers I didn't ever anticipate a time when I didn't want it there, but eventually I was terrified that it would be the end of life as I knew it."

"Your bond?" Logan asked feeling Scott pull away from him.

"Our psychic link," Scott sat upright on the floor, bringing his fingers through his hair, "When she'd first asked, I didn't mind us having it, but over time I feared it. I tried to shut her out after I realized I had feelings for you, but as we discovered she knew about it anyway."

"Scott…" Logan watched him closely, seeing Scott's eyes fall to a close.

"When Jean stripped me of my powers I lost track of myself. It's those three months that followed after the lake that Ororo wants me remember, but there's only one thing that I can recall from all of that," Scott curled his fingers into the carpeting beneath him, "It's the one thing that I've been thinking about over the last couple of days."

"Which is?" Logan questioned.

"Jean's death," Scott reopened his eyes and turned to look at Logan once again, "I could feel her dying. I could hear her screams when she was trapped inside of Phoenix. She was begging for a reprieve, desperate to escape, but she couldn't. She wanted to, but it was too strong. Up until the point where you…"

"Scott," Logan sat up and touched his shoulder.

"You saved her when you released her," Scott trembled at the memory, unable to shake the chill that surrounded him. "You set her free Logan."

"I only wish I would've done the same for your thoughts before it came to this point," Logan divulged wrapping his arm around Scott's shoulders, "and if Jean's still out there…"

"When she died I was enveloped in darkness," Scott informed him nervously, "It was that blackness that surrounded me for three months, pulling me away from the rest of the world until I emerged as something different. When I wound up here things had changed…"

"Do you think it's possible that…?" Logan pondered the thought for a moment.

"That she emerged as well after those three months?" Scott finished for him. "I honestly don't know Logan, but with the psychic link that we shared with one another, I can't help, but wonder if that's what's been causing all of this. If she is out there caught up in a place of madness, then it stands to reason that the link between us would only intensify my madness and…"

"You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?" Logan questioned curiously.

Scott nodded, "To be inside of someone's mind holds an incredible weight of power. As you saw earlier despite all of my promises to accept our boundaries, even now I find it hard to resist temptation. It's a rush like none other and I never realized it until I was the one doing it. When Jean was inside of me, sometimes it was remarkable-incredible in it's own right, but then at other times it scared the hell out of me. It's a very intense, deep, all consuming penetration that seduces your senses and…"

"I can see the allure associated in it just by our few exchanges with one another," Logan replied seeing Scott's features twisted in his confession. "I can't imagine how hard it could be for someone to hold back on it when it surrounded them all the time. What we felt together was so strong Scott and…"

"It goes beyond sex Logan. It's addictive and the most intimate two people can be with one another. In being able to share each other's thoughts, to be immersed in the most private of exchanges-to unmask every, undisclosed secret thought down to the last detail," Scott's breath grew labored, "It's all consuming and…"

"Do you still feel it like you did before where Jean is concerned?" Logan asked already sensing the answer.

"Sometimes I feel like she's inside of me guiding my thoughts, forcing my hand," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "She tells me as much when I see her in my mind. She says that I'll never be free of her because we're joined as one, linked forever."

"You don't believe that, do you?" Logan questioned with an uneasiness in his voice.

"Sometimes I think that could be the reasoning behind the madness. I often wonder if maybe that's why she's haunting me now because I let her inside the first time. I don't know…" Scott shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe it's all in my head with my subconscious trying to fill that void that she left inside of me. Then again with the way she speaks to me maybe that in itself should've been a sign that she's not dead-that all of this isn't just my imagination."

"For argument's sake, let's roll with the theory that she's out there somewhere taking advantage of the situation. With this link you said she opened it between the two of you a long time ago, yes?" Logan prompted curiously.

Scott nodded, "We were both really young at the time. It was a stupid decision in retrospect, but at the time I'd been blinded by romantic overtures and the idea of being able to share that kind of deep, profound connection with another person felt like an incredible suggestion. In battle we were able to communicate on a level that no one else was capable of. It made us stronger, more indestructible without even trying. We were a step ahead of the game in that respect and it felt good. It was like truly being a part of a team, but it went beyond that. To have Jean and I able to merge together on a spiritual level was very enticing and…"

"Spiritual," Logan repeated with a wrinkled expression on his face.

"I was really into the whole romantic, idealistic fantasy of completion Logan. I craved acceptance, belonging and having someone who wasn't going to leave me. I knew what it was like to feel abandoned, so when someone wanted to share everything with me, I was seduced by the notion-wanting to feel that kind of bond," Scott divulged taking in an uneasy breath. He twisted on the floor, keeping his eyes away from Logan when he sighed, "I couldn't fathom anything more intimate than being able to know what my lover was thinking and finding ways to please her-to make her happy in every way imaginable so she'd want to stay unlike the others I lost."

"So you used the link as a how to guide in learning what Jean liked and disliked?" Logan couldn't help, but let out an uneasy laugh. "That in itself says a lot about the relationship Scott."

"It wasn't just about sex," Scott scoffed with a huff before shaking his head, "It was about a deeper understanding of one another. It set us apart from everyone else in the sense that we were always connected. It wasn't as trivial as a how to guide to Jean's desires. It was far more complicated."

"Scott, hey, I didn't mean to imply that…" Logan attempted to recover from his last statement.

"Unless you experience it, it's hard to explain," Scott interrupted with a tiny shiver overtaking his naked form. "You and I have had a small taste of what it's like, but we haven't taken it to that level."

"Level?" Logan repeated.

Scott nodded again, "We haven't tried experiencing it continuously. Sure, we've sparingly used it during sex for fantasy, but that's only a small percentage of what can be done with that kind of link. If I had the control and focus to establish something that powerful with us, then we could always see one another, always reach out to the other even when it seemed that we were a million miles away. It's very complex, but…"

"So you're saying that this link is always open," Logan questioned curiously, "or can it be shut off with practice?"

"Maybe a little bit of both. With Jean I wasn't the one that initiated it, so at first I never really fully understood everything it entailed. Eventually when it felt like it was out of control, I stopped seeing it as an intimate exchange. While it was nice in the beginning, it escalated to what felt like an invasion and I worked to close her out of my mind. The more uncomfortable I became, the more I struggled to keep her from getting inside," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "I know she felt it, but I'm not sure I was really ever able to close it off. Even now in knowing what we do about how much she saw with you and I…"

"She sounded surprised in the journal," Logan pondered aloud, "which tends to imply that perhaps she wasn't constantly immersed in your thoughts. It wasn't until she saw things confirmed with her own eyes that…"

"I don't know. There were times when I thought I'd effectively kept her out and moments where I know she was blocking me…especially when you came around," Scott let out an ironic laugh. "That was a huge sign that things were changing."

"That she started shutting you out?" Logan couldn't help, but ask.

"That we were both trying to keep the other in the dark about what we wanted," Scott bit back on the laughter that built in his throat, "Ironic that we both wanted the same thing now, isn't it?"

"Considering you were both sharing thoughts for so long, I suppose it's possible that over time you both started to…have similar tastes," Logan cleared his throat while taking in Scott's words.

"So what? You think that I wanted you because she did and vice versa?" Scott couldn't help, but groan outwardly, his blue eyes filled with hurt and insult. "Are you saying that you believe I'm only attracted to you because Jean was?"

"Do you believe that?" Logan countered watching Scott tense up beside him.

"No, not at all. She liked a lot of things that I couldn't stand for the longest time," Scott divulged quietly before shrugging his shoulders.

"Gee thanks for letting me know what category I fell into," Logan couldn't help, but laugh.

"That's not what I mean," Scott couldn't help, but roll his eyes at Logan, "With Jean we were very different even with the link between us. As for you I knew I was attracted to you almost immediately even if I didn't understand it at the time. Jean wasn't around when Ororo and I found you and our link, well, it wasn't guiding either one of us at the time. On that ride back to the school after I rescued you, there was something about you I couldn't quite shake-that familiarity that I didn't quite understand at the time."

"Because it was taken from our minds," Logan nodded quietly.

"More so than I'd imagined," Scott sighed poignantly, his face overtaken with a shadow of contemplation.

"Scott?" Logan touched his shoulder, feeling Scott tense up at the touch.

"It doesn't matter. That still really has no relevance on the link that Jean and I had before. I wish I understood the dynamics to a greater degree, but I wasn't the one controlling them with Jean. Now that I have those powers growing inside of me, evolving on my own instead of her sharing them with me I'm still not completely versed on what can be done with them," Scott tipped his head to the side to look at Logan.

"But it's possible with concentration and some work at it, that you could channel them into forging another bond if need be, yes?" Logan inquired eyeing Scott with heavy scrutiny.

"I suppose if I put some work into it I could go beyond what we've dabbled in with one another," Scott shrugged his shoulders and nodded, "why?"

"Because if she's out there and you can channel it-if that piece of the link between the two of you isn't severed completely, then it stands to reason with your new powers that you could find her," Logan deduced pondering what Scott had said to him. "With a little practice and training you could seek her out. You could try to appeal to her if she's still waiting and…"

"I've thought of that, but I'm afraid Logan. I wasn't always comfortable experiencing it with her especially at the end of our relationship. When her thoughts grew darker, I was terrified. Even now after the visions I've been having, it scares the hell out of me to willingly invite that into my subconscious all over again. It might be our only chance at stopping this, but I have to wonder if I go for it in trying that I might not find my way back the next time. I've already had so many close encounters with madness that to willingly push the envelope for results feels like suicide. I feel like a coward, but if I lose all control in seeking her out, then I've lost in essence the one thing I've always held onto through the years. It's part of what defined who I am and without it…," Scott stopped himself and let out an ironic laugh, "I'll bet you never thought you'd live to see the day that I'd be so readily admitting to all of my fears, allowing them to pour out to you so freely."

"We're all afraid of something Slim. I know it's a lot to ask of you and if you don't want to do it, then you're well within your rights to refuse. Finding Jean may be a priority for everyone, but not at the risk of you losing your sanity," Logan embraced Scott again, "And you're not a coward for having doubts about this."

"I feel like it at times especially lately," Scott admitted with a painful sigh. "I'm not supposed to immerse myself in fear and hesitation. That's how people end up dying or worse Logan."

"Hey," Logan smoothed his fingers over Scott's spine, hoping to soothe his worries, "just because we have the fears, it doesn't mean we have to succumb to them."

"That's exactly what I've been doing Logan. I've been hiding from my responsibilities because of them. I've been running away from duty and ignoring what needs to be done. It's given me an excuse to bury myself beneath them so that I don't have to face what I know is expected of me," Scott tipped his head to the side, his jaw clenched with uneasiness. "How many times have I simply found a reason to put things off because it was easier than the inevitable confrontations that would follow?"

"You needed a break Scott. For a while there you weren't even taking the time to breathe…" Logan opened his mouth in protest.

"What I need is to get my head together. I need to realize that this sudden procrastination has been brought on by whatever it is that's overwhelming me. Fear has been an easy place to hide in, but it's done nothing for me in regaining my life again. It's done nothing for us Logan," Scott sat up straighter, a look of determination crossing over his twisted features. "I've hesitated in taking action, which tells me that I've either truly fallen over the edge in losing myself to my fears or that this link between Jean and I is being used to manipulate me into holding back."

"To keep from finding her?" Logan realized watching Scott nod again.

"If she's out there, she's been doing a damn good job of hiding herself if no one has been able to locate her. The mere fact that she's been reaching out to me, no matter how horrible it's been to endure says that perhaps a part of her wants to be found. Maybe she wants to be reached and…" Scott's mind began to turn with possibilities.

"And what?" Logan questioned seeing something pass over Scott's features.

"We've been going about this all wrong," Scott finally decided after a moment's contemplation, "We shouldn't be focusing on me and those three months, but rather that time Jean was at Alkali Lake waiting to remerge."

"Why do you say that?" Logan inquired bringing a hand up through his dark, unruly hair.

"Because that's when I think everything changed. If we can pinpoint exactly what happened to Jean, then we can figure out everything that's followed," Scott snapped his fingers together, "Logan, Jean's the key in all of this. Something tells me we were wrong in believing that she'd simply cocooned herself for all that time."

"Scott, you said before when you found her that…" Logan opened his mouth to speak up.

"There was a lot happening Logan and considering that we were at Stryker's compound at the time, I'm going to take a guess that something more was happening. Stryker might've died that day, but his associates still remained. If they somehow found Jean when she was out there…"

"You don't think that…" Logan's eyes widened with surprise, "They couldn't have…"

"I wouldn't put it past them," Scott finally decided armed with a new determination to search for the past, "and something tells me whatever it is that they did to her is something that Xavier knows."

"Xavier," Logan blinked back at him, "why would he…?"

"Because he didn't tell us that Jean was the one that invaded the school. He didn't mention that she was there the night I almost died. Granted I know he wasn't in a good place himself at the time, but eventually he had to have figured it out. He knows more than he's letting on Logan. I'm certain that he's hiding something," Scott finished in an impassioned tone, "and it's about high time that we find out what it is."

xxxxx


	31. Chapter 31

The smell of bacon and coffee invaded Logan's senses as he rolled over on the bed, no longer exhausted from the restless night. Although he and Scott had agreed to use their time in Ohio to regroup, in order to come together and work out a plan for finding the answers they'd been seeking out the truth behind Scott's troubling visions, he knew there plans would have to change with an impending return to the school. However, after they'd planned their return to seek out answers, Logan had never anticipated them actually taking a jump start on it by spending the remainder of the night working on doing just that. Although Scott had initially insisted that they take the previous evening for themselves, everything had changed once Scott was met by the epiphany that more had happened to Jean at Alkali Lake than anyone had anticipated. With that theory came a change in the atmosphere between Scott and Logan returning to a more goal oriented evening. It had lead to a discussion about the moments that had followed their having watched Jean sacrifice herself at the lake and what they surely must've missed in passing. Shortly after that conversation Scott brewed a pot of coffee, insisting that it was going to be a late night for them.

Despite Logan's protests about Scott needing rest, Scott had been unilaterally focused, returning to leader mode and taking them into one of the rooms in the east wing of the house that was filled with computers and other gadgets that Logan hadn't known how to pronounce. Hours later Scott had still been plucking away at a keyboard working to put together information while Logan had immersed himself in sleep. Yes, maybe it was a copout, but after having had more then his fill of various documented accounts of Stryker's madness and wondering which ones Logan had inadvertently played a hand in, Logan decided that he'd needed a break. He'd hoped that Scott would take one as well, but seeing Scott's side of the bed still neatly put together, Logan was convinced that hadn't happened.

Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, Logan took in a breath before standing up and stretching. He heard the sound of his bones creaking, indicating that he'd been in one place for far too long. However, with a shake of his head and a roll of his shoulders, his spine was realigned, back where it should've been without any kind of recoil. Stepping forward he reached for a pair of sweatpants, opting to throw them on before leaving the bedroom to seek out Scott. It didn't take long to find him standing over the stove finishing up with a pan of eggs.

Stepping forward Logan couldn't help, but appreciate the moment with Scott in his apron doing the domestic thing. Yes, it was always something Logan had chided him about in the past before they'd wed. He'd even cringed at the idea of experiencing that kind of simplistic routine, but Scott did it well. Smiling Logan realized that Scott was putting Logan's last, pitiful attempt at cooking to shame with his perfectly calculated and timed culinary concoctions. With the simple, burgundy colored apron tied around Scott's waist there was a certain sense of ease that Logan hadn't seen in a while. It was almost as if the last twenty four hours hadn't phased Scott, hadn't put him in a position where he'd been wound up so tightly that he appeared ready to burst. Instead he was simply enjoying the moment, immersing himself in his culinary task with the song he was whistling quietly. Logan fought to suppress the laughter that built up in the back of his throat in seeing Scott spin around on his feet, shuffling on the floor when he flipped the eggs in the air enthusiastically.

"Bravo," Logan couldn't help, but tease watching Scott practically leap out of his skin at the surprise intrusion. Leaning up against the door, Logan couldn't help, but watch Scott's reaction, amusement bristling over his skin in seeing Scott clumsily recover the eggs and attempt to be serious in the moment.

"Logan hey," Scott cleared his throat, "good morning."

"It's getting better by the moment," Logan mouthed folding his arms in front of his bare, broad, muscular chest. Leaning up against the archway, Logan couldn't help, but give Scott a long, approving once over. "So what are we this morning? Martha Stewart?"

"Hardly…although if we were in the running for the title I'd have you beat by a long shot," Scott couldn't help, but tease playfully.

"There you have me. My hidden talent or lack there of it begins in the kitchen," Logan agreed bringing one hand up through his hair, "It should be criminal how horrible I was at cooking the other day."

"That's an understatement," Scott wrinkled his nose at the suggestion. Raising his chin up ever so slightly, he met Logan's eyes with a crooked grin upon his lips, "I guess it's a good thing that you excel at other things otherwise I'd have no reason to keep you around."

"I'll give you no reason," Logan rushed forward in a pounce pushing Scott back against the kitchen counter. He snarled curling his lip before assaulting Scott's mouth with his eager lips, savoring the sweet taste of Scott mixed in with the mint mouthwash he'd clearly used a short while earlier. Reaching up to stroke the side of Scott's face, Logan withdrew from the kiss with a low roar, "There are plenty of reasons why you keep me around because there are a lot of things I'm good at."

"Kissing happens to be one of them," Scott stood up taller, unable to refrain from smiling, "You should take pride in that."

"I'd rather take you," Logan moved in to kiss Scott again, hoping to imprint another taste of him on his memory. Stepping forward he pinned Scott to the counter once again. His hands roamed over Scott's neatly pressed slacks, wrapping around his hips to squeeze his firm, muscled bottom in a blatant press.

"As tempting as that sounds," Scott eased his palms up flat against Logan's shoulders to place a distance between them, "I was figuring you might be hungry this morning."

"I'm starving," Logan divulged with a low, ravenous growl, sliding in closer in a predatory stance, "and that's got everything to do with you."

"Funny how last night you seemed to lose your appetite for a little while where I was concerned," Scott wiggled his brow suggestively.

"It was a momentary setback because if I do recall correctly, after a little prodding I redeveloped a rather intense craving for this sexy, blue eyed tease that lives in these parts," Logan dipped down to nibble on Scott's neck, "Perhaps you've heard of him."

"He's far from being a tease considering that he's more of an action sort of guy," Scott sighed savoring Logan's attention for a few lingering seconds. His lips parted, blue eyes alive with temptation and desire when he laughed, "although since we have a big day ahead of us I'm afraid you missed your window of opportunity by sleeping in."

"Screw the window. I'll just do away with it completely since the way I see it opportunity is all around us. With you and me in the kitchen I'm sure we can find a way to heat things up before our journey," Logan dismissed Scott's refusal, inching in closer yet.

"You're willing to face Ororo's wrath?" Scott blinked back at him, "You are feeling brave, but for what it's worth I truly am going to have to take a rain check this morning. Let's focus on your other appetites instead, shall we?"

"Do we have to?" Logan scowled when Scott slipped out of his arms and returned to the stove.

"Trust me this will be almost as good as sex for you," Scott finished working on the meal he'd been preparing. "Almost."

"I seriously doubt it," Logan muttered under his breath, "but then again I didn't anticipate you doting on me. I was kind of hoping you'd take it easy for a while before we left."

"I was going to bring breakfast in bed," Scott ignored Logan's final comment before motioning to the eggs before him, "although I guess now that you're awake we'll have to have breakfast in here."

"Breakfast in bed would actually mean that you have to be in bed for that to happen," Logan raised a scrutinizing brow. "It looks like you had a little trouble with finding your way there last night."

"I got carried away in research," Scott admitted sheepishly, "I know I said I wouldn't be up too long, but…"

"One thing lead to another right? I know you get immersed when you begin something, but I'd hoped you would've taken the time to rest," Logan noted thinking of the day they'd put behind them.

"I'll rest eventually," Scott decided with a shrug, "maybe on the ride back to the school. Maybe I'll let you drive us there."

"Letting me drive?" Logan eyed him suspiciously, "Okay, now I know you aren't feeling well. Who are you and what did you do to the real Scott Summers?"

"I'm still very much the same, but after last night, well I'm willing to share the responsibility on certain things," Scott explained drawing in a breath. "Plus I have a few more things I want to look into on my laptop, so it'll be good to have the opportunity to do just that."

"I can live with that, although after you seemed so tense during our research I thought you were going to eventually come to bed," Logan noted bringing a hand up through his wild, unruly, dark hair.

"I was going to, but I wanted to keep digging a bit further. I was almost ready to give up, but then before I knew it I got a new lead this morning," Scott explained tossing the eggs onto a plate. He motioned for Logan to take a seat at the oversized kitchen table, coaxing him to relax while Scott moved to grab the bottle of orange juice on the counter. "A good one actually."

"I'm listening," Logan took a seat, noticing the place setting before him. He eyed it curiously, seeing the various utensils before him, each one with a purpose and reason he was certain, but instead he opted to reach for a piece of bacon with his fingers before bringing it up to his lips. "I thought you said you were planning on breakfast in bed."

"I hadn't really decided," Scott divulged shuffling everything in his arms, "I mean yes breakfast in bed was the ultimate goal, but just in case it didn't work out I wanted to have a back up plan."

"Why am I not surprised?" Logan couldn't help, but laugh shaking his head at the thought. "I don't know whether to be amused, annoyed or appreciative with how thorough you can be."

"You haven't complained about it thus far since we've been together," Scott winked over at him suggestively, "especially not in the bedroom."

"There I appreciate your eye for detail," Logan motioned to the utensils before him, "but these…"

"You'll get used to them," Scott promised moving in closer to the table. He stopped long enough to pick up an envelope and carry it with him.

"So what's this lead you found?" Logan asked seizing another piece of bacon from his plate.

"It turns out the company that actually held the deed to the nuclear plant property was actually owned and operated by this corporation," Scott walked over to the table, pushing a few pieces of papers in front of Logan. "As you can see they had all the stock holdings to the property and…"

"Which means?" Logan questioned eyeing the numbers on the page before him.

"They are a company that we represent," Scott informed him enthusiastically. Setting the juice down on the table top, Scott circled around to his chair before taking a seat as well, "I mean…it's one of the companies that my firm worked with when I was out here. We held one of their accounts and…"

"That helps us how?" Logan questioned pushing the pages aside to see the enthusiasm expanding over Scott's features.

"Because I can gain access to the records by the end of the day. Ororo isn't going to be thrilled with the inevitable delay, but it's going to provide us with some of the answers we've been seeking out. You see with this group they also played a hand in part with the subsidiary company that did the brokering that went on with my home purchase which makes them suddenly more interesting," Scott replied with a simple shrug of his shoulders, "I have a few favors that someone owes me, so after a couple of phone calls I made this morning, I'm going to be able to get my hands on their portfolio. I'm hoping when I see who their account manager was, I'll be able to get a few more details and…"

"So you already have a name and an address," Logan finished off his piece of bacon with a chomp. "That's a start."

"The address is a dead end at this point, but the account," Scott motioned to the number on the top of the page, "it's a lead in to where we can find the billing address."

"I'm not following," Logan tipped his head to the side and gave him a long look.

"We find the billing address, then we can find out where they are located. Even if it's a P.O. Box we can track it down," Scott shrugged his shoulders, "It sounds simple enough, but since I left the company I no longer have my company id validated and I'm not able to get access from my home computer. I'll have to head on over to the office and…"

"The office," Logan repeated with an ironic laugh, "Scott, do you really think that's where we're going to find answers?"

"It's our best bet at this point. Obviously in the past my first inclination would've been to go to Charles considering that he's the one who usually has all of the answers. However, given that he's been tight-lipped about everything that's going on, I don't think that's going to be likely in this scenario," Scott divulged quietly, his brow creasing with an unfamiliar tension.

"Maybe he'll be more open to talking now that we know what's going on," Logan suggested, "Perhaps he will be more forthcoming with information when…"

"Like he was with the lead that didn't pan out in terms of locating Victor when you asked for his assistance? Let's be honest Logan, it tends to lend to reason that his history of reliability is no longer working in his favor. If he wouldn't help you with that simple task, then we can see he's certainly not going to help us locate anything on Jean," Scott informed Logan with a small sigh.

"You never know," Logan opened his mouth in protest thinking about the strained relationship with Scott and his mentor.

"I'm not willing to chance it with lies and suspicions right now," Scott informed him abrasively, "If we want the truth, then we have to do this on our own-in our own way. Speaking of the truth, with Victor, I looked into it and it was confirmed to be another dead end just as we'd suspected."

"That's because Victor was out here," Logan confessed with an uneasiness in his tone. He shifted on the chair before taking another bite of his bacon, "I didn't want to mention too much of it last night considering that you were more interested in the beginnings of the facility, but…"

"Where out here?" Scott couldn't help, but ask sparked by a newfound curiosity.

"The pub we were at," Logan exhaled slowly, his words conveying the uneasiness that carried over him, "When you weren't with me, our waitress started talking and told me about someone who fit Victor down to the last detail being there two days earlier. He'd attacked her and a bartender before rushing out into the night."

"So then he's been waiting for us?" Scott's eyes widened with surprise. "He's close."

"Was close," Logan corrected, "but at this point it could be anyone's guess on where he's taken off."

"If he's looking for us, then maybe you and I are on the right track in being here. Perhaps it's a sign that we shouldn't be thinking about leaving anymore. If we can take the issue of his lingering presence off of our list of concerns, then we'll be one step closer to peace. Then again if he can somehow point us in the right direction should he be seeking us out here, then maybe it's worth waiting it out," Scott pondered the thought for a long moment. "He must be preparing to strike and…"

"I think he's more interested in getting his hands on the adamantium he's been looking for," Logan noted thinking about the chaos he'd witnessed back at the pub. "I think he was meeting with Bert that night at the pub…"

"Or that man that I encountered," Scott remarked stiffly, fighting to keep his thoughts in check over the confrontation he'd been a part of at the barn, "Is it possible that man was there to meet Victor before I intervened and…?"

"Anything's possible, but at the same time I didn't sense Victor in the area when we were there. His scent was more distant, lingering and…" Logan interrupted with thoughts of Victor fresh on his mind.

"So we know he's closer to home, which is good because it'll make tracking him easier," Scott decided carrying one of the pans he'd been cooking with over to the kitchen sink.

"I suppose that means that he's been making his rounds in between Canada and here with what he's been doing," Logan finished off the piece of bacon he'd been eating for the last few seconds.

"If he was even in Canada at all to begin with," Scott shrugged with a small breath of distain.

"You really believe that Canada was a red herring all around, don't you?" Logan questioned reaching for his juice glass and taking a long, hefty swig of his juice.

"Given what you know about Victor and his thirst for revenge and rage, how can you question it? If he felt there was unfinished business left here with us, even in a retreat he wouldn't go far. It's not in his personality to walk away from a fight for long."

"He had no problem running the night the building crashed down around you," Logan shuddered at the memory, fighting to banish the thoughts of what had taken place with Scott to consume him all over again. "He talks a big game, but…"

"His madness always brings him back home again Logan," Scott hesitated before taking in a breath and turning around to face Logan fully, "to you. No matter how much you wish that part of your life was over, there's no escaping it. He's always out there, always waiting to move in and…"

"That doesn't mean he didn't take time to regroup," Logan cut him off with an uneasiness in his breath. "In his time away, he could've gone back to Canada and…"

"I seriously doubt it and so do you. Even Charles should've seen that Canada was just a dead end. Then again maybe he did. Maybe that was the point in creating a wild goose chase to distract you while he manipulated me to…" Scott's words tapered off into silent contemplation.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Logan questioned with an uneasiness at the mention of Scott's mentor.

"Logan, the fact to the matter was that there's nothing indicating that Victor had been in Canada and I'm guessing that Charles was well aware of that before suggesting that mission for you to go on," Scott decided shifting back to his earlier conversation. "Everything keeps pointing to the theory that what Charles was telling you wasn't at all based on factual information, which begs the question of what Charles was doing in trying to send you off there. Say what you will, but it's dubious behavior. Surely, he of all people must've felt that Victor was no where near the destination. He has more means of uncovering the truth over the rest of us with Cerebro, which only makes him look even more suspicious…"

"I suppose it's possible Victor had been in Canada before coming down here," Logan shrugged his shoulders while pondering the strange behavior Charles was exhibiting lately. Everyone had their doubts, their questions compounding about the changes in Charles and Logan had to admit there was a strong case for suspicions.

"He knew it was inaccurate information. He was simply trying to cover up the truth for some reason. There's not a doubt in my mind he was well aware of the lie when he tried to sell it to you," Scott frowned with heavy disapproval over Xavier's actions. "Just like I'm guessing that he must've seen that Jean could've been the one at the school. When he shut me down after I inquired about the truth, it was obvious he was hiding something."

"Why hide Jean?" Logan pondered aloud, "Even with all that happened, I can't imagine why he wouldn't want someone to seek her out and try to reach her before…"

"Before she spun our lives out of control," Scott finished for him with a huff. "Logan, I don't know what's going on, but I can say without a doubt that he's not at all the man that I knew before Jean died. He's different and I'm going to find out why."

"I think we all want to know why, but remember we have to do this one step at a time," Logan reminded Scott simply. "If we rush into this and go about this the wrong way…"

"It could blow up in our faces," Scott finished for him. "I'm well aware of that, but I'm not going to back down especially when I know we've been lied to. The fact that you were going to be sent on a futile pursuit in order to tear you away from the school bothers me. Regardless of the motivation, the whole situation was shady."

"I won't argue that point Scott, but you're certain he couldn't have been mistaken about this?" Logan questioned curiously hoping to offer up the benefit of the doubt in spite of Logan's distrust for Xavier. While Logan had his concerns knowing the place Xavier had held in Scott's life, Logan hated to see the two men at odds with one another. "Perhaps something blocked his perception and…"

"As I said I have friends in high places," Scott replied pouring himself a glass of juice, "There was mutant activity in the area, but it wasn't Victor. Anyone with any sense of reason and logic would've realized that. It sounds like it was simply a group of reckless teenagers with far too much time on their hands. My sources told me that no one in that area had seen any indication of Victor."

"And they're reliable?" Logan couldn't help, but ask.

Scott nodded, "Reliable enough to keep me in the loop about what was happening after I left the school."

"What kind of sources are they? Something from the internet last night after I went to bed?" Logan questioned with the new revelation Scott had put upon him. "You never indicated you were in contact with anyone after we thought you were gone that…"

"It's a long story," Scott waved his hand dismissively, "one I won't bore you with, but my sources are very valid. The information I uncovered last night should be enough to give us a new direction to go on with this one."

"So where do you want to start?" Logan couldn't help, but ask. "With your sources…"

"I'm hoping to explore those missing months that my brain won't let me remember along with looking into what really happened to Jean at Alkali Lake. Like we said last night there are pieces of the puzzle missing all around. They're there right in front of our eyes, but it's going to be up to us to put them back together again," Scott noted with an uneasiness in his voice.

"That's going to be a big task," Logan noted under his breath.

"I know and given that someone's gone to great lengths to cover up the truth, it's probably going to get messy for us before there's clarity in this situation," Scott paused contemplating his words, "In the search I think it's best if we also look into that time when Xavier was abducted. After Jean 'killed him' clearly there was something else happening. I'm sure it ties into everything else that's going on, so I think that's another important objective for us as well."

"You sure you want to head down that road Scott?" Logan questioned with an uneasiness in his voice. "We already have a lot on our plate right now."

"I can handle it," Scott dismissed Logan's concerns.

"I don't doubt that, but at the same time," Logan hesitated while contemplating his words, "if we chart into that territory, then you know it's going to open the door to a situation that's going to leave the school divided by loyalty. Xavier has been a good leader, guiding the students and staff towards peace for a long time. To even suggest that something isn't right with him…"

"How can it not be? Something isn't right with me and I haven't been gone nearly as long as he was," Scott continued in an impassioned tone, "at least not in the way that he was missing. He was in that facility for quite some time side by side with Magneto. That in itself says something about the environment he was in."

"It sounds like hell to me," Logan blurted offhandedly, "because being around Magneto for any length of time seems to be torture."

"Exactly," Scott nodded in agreement, "yet given all that Magneto's done, in hearing that he and Xavier are spending time with one another, cavorting in the hallways of the school, inviting danger into everyone's lives, it just doesn't add up. Magneto is a ticking time bomb and Xavier's always known that. Magneto's ideals and goals towards mutant supremacy have put us on the map in a bad light time and time again."

"Even so there must be a reason for their newfound alliance to one another," Logan deduced seeing the determination behind Scott's eyes.

"We've all come to the conclusion that Xavier's been keeping secrets just like I have. If Ororo has seen it, then I know we're not imagining it anymore especially if he was aware of the fact Jean might've been there at the school," Scott divulged after a long moment of contemplation. "When he stopped by to see me the other day at the school I'd imagined that we would finally be able to open up with one another, but there was still this wall between us."

"Because of me," Logan remarked sourly, "because of what we have."

"No," Scott stated firmly, his voice unyielding in the moment, "because we both have changed. Yes, maybe his disapproval of our relationship factored into it, but it ran deeper than his disappointment in my romantic decisions."

"How?" Logan asked curiously.

"He sensed that the brain damage was no longer an issue, so I caved and I told him about my eyes and my control," Scott motioned to his blue eyes, "and he told me about…"

"About what?" Logan questioned sensing an apprehension in Scott.

"Jean changed him as well. She did something to him," Scott took in a small breath, "at the time I don't think either one of us knew how to feel about it. We still don't. Though with me you can see I have other powers that can consume me when prompted. I can spiral out of control without question or provocation…"

"Did you tell him about the other powers?" Logan asked seeing something flash behind Scott's eyes.

"No," Scott replied honestly, "I didn't think that it was the time given that I don't believe he was being truthful with me either. It was clear that he was still hiding something-that there's more to what's been happening to him. I could sense that."

"Because it was how you felt in the moment or because you were attempting to…" Logan hesitated thinking about Scott's new powers.

"I just knew," Scott waved his hand dismissively, "but right now I don't want to get into that. Right now I want to stay focused on this lead and see where it takes us."

"We have more resources at the school. You know as well as I do that we could always have someone hack the computers at your office and…" Logan opened his mouth to say something more.

"Why would we waste the resources when I can easily get the information by walking through the front doors to where I worked? The way I see it we follow this lead first and if we can't find our answers, we'll move onto something else," Scott suggested with an urgency in his tone. "We can do this Logan."

"So we follow the paper trail at the office and then what? Take what we know back to discuss with Ororo and Hank?" Logan grumbled in response, slumping down in his chair.

"We follow the paperwork like old fashioned detectives and aim for the corporation. That's where the answers are," Scott nodded to the pages on the table top again. "I have to be over at the office in the next half hour. You can finish packing up and I'll be back soon so that we…"

"Scott, I'm not so sure that's really the best place to start for you," Logan spoke up with a slight hesitation in his voice, "While I realize you want to do this on your own, I don't think that now is the time for us to separate. It's not really a good idea considering that…"

"I'm fine Logan," Scott frowned back at him, "What happened at the pub isn't going to happen again. I won't allow myself to lose control like that now that I know what I'm up against. It's not going to happen."

"You don't know that Scott. It was out of your control before," Logan sat up straighter.

"Because I wasn't prepared for it, but now..." Scott curled his lip in protest, attempting to dismiss Logan's concerns.

"Scott, now's not the time to argue about this," Logan interrupted with a huff and a protest, "If something happens like it did at the pub or Jean returns and tries to enter into your mind, then there's no telling what could…"

"It's not going to happen," Scott explained firmly, "because I'm ready for it now. After our talk last night it gave me food for thought and I feel as if I've got a grip on reality. Yes, I might've faltered a couple of times, which gives you plenty of reason to doubt me, but I'm stronger now. I can fight this because I know that whatever she shows me, it can't hurt me. The past can't destroy me when I have so much to hold onto in the here and now."

"Of course you do Scott, but saying that and feeling it are two very different, distinct things Scott especially when you find yourself on the receiving end of personalized torture set out to break your spirit. You have to realize what we're still up against," Logan took in a small breath while contemplating his words, "In seeing how far things went with me last night in someone trying to screw with my head, it should be a warning that…"

"I'm just going to go to the office Logan. I did that long before I started seeing Jean again and nothing bad came of it," Scott rolled his shoulders back and puffed out his chest.

"Whether or not you've done it in the past doesn't change all the new findings that have come up Scott. You said it yourself the business you worked for was involved in shady dealings. Ororo doesn't trust it either and given that knowledge, it's safe to say that you could be walking into some kind of trap. If they realize that you've seen the shady dealings they've participated in within your firm…" Logan attempted to reason with him.

"There's no indication that I'm any the wiser on the subject. None of them have any idea of what's been happening to me. I haven't been keeping in touch with anyone before I called in a favor," Scott continued with a dismissive tone. "If anyone were to suspect anything, it would come up easier if I arrived with an entourage to pick up papers," Scott attempted to reason with him.

"It's not an entourage. It's me…your partner," Logan held his hand in the air displaying the ring on his finger and throwing out the marriage card, eyebrows curving in blatant disapproval in Scott's direction, "They can't hold that against you."

"Of course not Logan, but I'll seem less suspicious going there myself to get this over with. I'll be there half an hour tops. It's not that far away and I can assure you that nothing terrible is going to happen. If Jean tries to pull something or anyone else for that matter, I'm ready and prepared for anything that anyone can throw at me, with a new sense of focus and…," Scott started to argue with him.

"I'm sure it's not that far away Scott, but I think there's strength in numbers and…" Logan attempted to reason with Scott, hoping to find a polite way to put his fears to rest about Scott's condition. Knowing what a potential danger to himself and to others Scott was becoming when he was set off, the last thing Logan wanted was for Scott to slip out and disappear again. Saying that however without getting Scott worked up, would prove to be a challenge. "I just think that…"

"I'll be fine. It's not like it's something out of the ordinary for me," Scott's lower lip wrinkled in protest. "I was doing this for a very long time before you and I reunited. It's just the office."

"You haven't been there in a few months Scott. A lot could've changed in that time and…" Logan began again with an uneasiness revealing itself in his tone.

"I'm not going to disappear on you Logan. I'm going to an accounting firm," Scott replied with a shake of his head, "There's not a whole lot of danger in that setting. In fact if anything, you'd probably have to worry about me being bored if I was working there again, which I'm not, so there's no threat to my mental health what so ever."

"Scott, look I'm not trying to be…" Logan started with an uneasiness eating away at his thoughts.

"I know you're trying to be supportive and protect me Logan. I appreciate that. Really I do and I know I've told you time and time again that I love how you want to take care of me. It means a lot to me that I mean enough for you to worry about my well being, but in this particular instance, well, really it's no big…"

"You said it yourself that your firm had dealings with the corporation that was involved in the facility we're looking into. Given what went down there, you and I both know that there's a possibility that something shady could still be happening right under their noses at the accounting firm. If they think you're looking to investigate the company, then there's going to be someone there waiting to shut you down Scott. Asking the right questions could lead to even more danger for you."

"I doubt it Logan," Scott started dismissively.

"Don't be a fool Scott. We both know that bigger dangers can hide within simple corporations. They want to come off as being innocent and non-threatening, but behind closed doors there are always other stories-other truths taking place especially in that kind of environment given what we've already learned. Then again, how much do you know about their business dealings? It could stand to reason that part of why you were working there to begin with was because someone wanted to keep an eye on you. Maybe it's tied to Stryker's people and…"

"Logan, even if they are, it's not an issue. When I worked there I can honestly tell you that there isn't a lot of trouble that comes from working in an accounting firm," Scott couldn't help, but roll his eyes.

"Before you weren't a threat. Before you were without your powers, but now…" Logan's words tapered off. "Scott, maybe they were trying to keep an eye on you all along. Maybe the reason you can't remember that time you lost is because someone wanted you to forget. Perhaps someone who worked for Stryker found you and…"

"And what? They decided what better way to silence the former leader of the X-Men, then to bury him in endless audits and numbers?" Scott let out a nervous laugh, revealing to Logan in spite of his attempt at bravado that he wasn't so convinced that the company he worked for was as ignorant of Stryker's plans as he'd once imagined, "Seriously Logan, while I realize something like that sounds like absolute hell for you, with me, it came natural to me. I'm good with numbers. It's something that I excel at and…"

"It's something you could do to keep busy with before your powers returned to you. You were there day in and day out ritualistically following the grind under their watch. They kept monitoring you until that moment when they…" Logan began to formulate a theory of his own.

"They? Logan, come on nothing happened working there. I was living a perfectly mundane and boring life until you found me at a company party and wound up enticing me away from it," Scott reminded him simply.

"I'm sure they kept tabs on you Scott. Even at that party I'm sure they were undoubtedly waiting for you to…" Logan began again with a frown.

"For me to what? Follow you back to your hotel room of my own accord where you rocked my world until I was stripped of all logic when passion exploded between us?" Scott folded his arms in front of his chest disapprovingly. "Let me guess they orchestrated that too, right Logan? I mean after all that's what Jean told you last night…that Stryker's been guiding us from the start, wasn't it? He must've ordered you to have sex with me that night too, right?"

"That's not what I was…" Logan curled his lip in protest.

"I resigned and they didn't give me any trouble. They didn't want me to leave, but no one threatened me or put a gun to my head to keep me there for some dark agenda," Scott added with a small breath while bringing a hand up through his hair.

"You know damn well my concerns are validated Scott. Don't make light of them when I'm trying to protect you," Logan snapped back at him, "You're often a pompous ass, but you've never been this ignorant when the obvious is staring you in the face. You know that I'm right about this."

"Even if you are, what could they possibly do to me in going over to pick up papers?" Scott couldn't help, but frown. "I think it's safe to say I can hold my own against any potential threat. In case you haven't been paying attention, I almost leveled a barn and a strip club in the last week or so."

"All the more reason for me to accompany you," Logan blurted out without hesitation, "The last thing you want is to make that kind of destruction public. We've been trying to keep this to ourselves, yet…"

"What? You think I'll blow it? That I'll do something stupid?" Scott's voice raised with outrage, "Or even worse maybe it's that you no longer trust me because you feel I'm a danger to myself when I'm not with you."

Logan remained silent, not bothering to say anything to reveal his thoughts of betray the bond he and Scott had with one another.

"I don't believe this," Scott threw his hands up in the air and groaned, "You don't trust me at all, do you?"

"Scott, I just don't think that it's the kind of place you should be heading into on your own," Logan finally explained with a staggering breath. "There's safety in numbers and in not having a grasp on the kind of clientele that was a part of the firm…"

"We had clients of all walks of life Logan. Sure, it does seem more than coincidental that their dealings were tied into the facility and even the purchase of my house, but I know these people. I could see that my co-workers were harmless," Scott paused thinking about his time at the accounting firm and the people he'd spent his free time with. "The biggest threat to one's safety at the office could have being there is stress, hypertension or even an ulcer. They weren't plotting to take out the mutant race in between crunching numbers."

"Scott, I just don't like the idea of you pursuing this on your own. Maybe your coworkers are harmless, but not every one of them is innocent-certainly not if they were working with someone who was tied to Stryker. I don't believe for a second that your firm could blindly enter into that situation without realizing who they were dealing with," Logan interjected once again. "Look, I'm not saying that you couldn't handle this, but it just seems to me that if we do this investigating, we shouldn't split up…"

"It's not that big of a deal Logan, but it will be if I walk in there with you holding my hand," Scott threw back at him with a pointed expression on his face. "People are going to realize that something is off. They're going to start asking questions and that's not something we want to get wrapped up in right now. Raising suspicions is the last thing either one of us want especially if you feel there's that much of a threat within the company."

"Fine, then I'll drive you over there. When we get there you can walk up by yourself to the office while I wait," Logan decided pushing his chair away from the table.

"I don't need you to drive me Logan," Scott shook his head in refusal, "I'm fully capable of doing this one thing on my own."

"Again I'd rather you didn't," Logan's lips parted in the beginnings of a scowl preparing to go another few rounds with Scott. "I really don't think that…"

"Trust me," Scott finished off his juice before pushing his chair back and grinning, "this is going to work itself out. I go over, chat it up for a bit, get the information and then we're on our way. No one is the wiser on the situation. I'm in and I'm out with what we need. Then we go back to the school and share our intel. After that I let Hank do his testing, we figure things out and work on finding Jean. Simple enough, right?"

"Nothing's simple enough," Logan muttered under his breath, "especially in this situation."

"It can be if you quit stalling me and just let me get this over with. I love that you're worried about me, but this time it's unnecessary," Scott decided eagerly, springing up from his chair to circle around the table. He bent down and kissed Logan's forehead before pulling back, "When I return I'm guessing we'll be on the road again so make sure you're all packed up and ready to go."

"This isn't over. I'm not letting you leave without me Scott," Logan reached for Scott's arm, drawing him in closer to his lap. "Whether you want me to or not, I'm going with you."


	32. Chapter 32

"Logan, I'm fine," Scott protested falling into Logan's lap with the hefty tug Logan placed on his arm. With his brow creased, Scott scowled at Logan, "I already told you…"

"I know what you said, but this is for my own peace of mind as well," Logan slid his thick fingers in against the side of Scott's face. "You said once that if we did this, we did this as a team, did you not?"

"Logan, I wasn't referring to…" Scott attempted to argue with him.

"Did you say that Scott?" Logan frowned back at him.

"Yes, I did, but right now this is really no big…" Scott stopped himself when Logan's thick fingertips fanned out across his sculpted cheekbone.

"You're my mate Scott," Logan's gaze traveled lazily over the contours of Scott's face, rising up to his eyes before dipping down to imprint Scott's pouting lips into his memory, "Anything that happens with you is a big deal to me. I realize that you've become fiercely independent through the years and I respect that about you, but when we entered into this union you asked me to let go of that need to flee-that rush to follow the wind and taking the world on my own shoulders without considering logic or reason. You asked me to be a part of something greater, something deeper and more profound in our uniting. Now I'm asking it of you Scott. Don't try to do this on your own when we should be exploring this together."

"Logan, it's just," Scott sighed guiltily, finally relenting in the moment, "fine you can go with me, but you can't go looking like that."

"What's wrong with how I look?" Logan eyed him suspiciously, "I thought you liked me this way."

"I do," Scott's fingers dropped over the center of Logan's bare chest, teasing his fingertips over the hair covered musculature beneath his touch. Leaning forward, Scott's lips dropped over the side of Logan's neck and shoulder, whispering quietly against his skin, "but I don't think the rest of the world would appreciate this view. Not that it's not stunning, but it would certainly alert someone to the fact that something was off with you half dressed and looking sexy as hell."

"As I said before I'll wait in the car if you want," Logan suggested again bringing his hands around Scott's hips to draw him in closer to him. Logan tipped his head to the side, nose nuzzling Scott's shoulder in a small, flicker of movement.

"We both know it would be easier if you just waited here," Scott sighed in protest, his fingers curling in around Logan's ribs to trace them leisurely in spite of himself.

"I don't like to sit around waiting for what I want," Logan slurred, his voice husky and darkening with something that went beyond their conversation. Scott tipped his head back, eyes widening with surprise at the growl that fell from Logan's lips.

"There's a certain sense of pleasure that can be derived from delayed gratification," mischief sparked behind Scott's eyes. "The sooner I get this over with, the easier it's going to be for us to fit in a few more minutes for us before our return to school. I slip in and out of the office and then well maybe when I get back, we can practice the same technique with you inside of me."

"Keep talking like that Scott and I'm not going to want us to ever leave," Logan mouthed with an animalistic slur, his eyes filled with the imagery Scott had planted into his head.

"So don't leave," Scott suggested with a coy expression on his face, "you can stay here, get things ready for…"

Scott's words tapered off, fingers sliding down over Logan's broad, muscular chest before settling in over Logan's lap, "…later."

"Scott, you and I both know that…" Logan opened his lips in warning, his gaze lingering over Scott's mouth, immersed in the temptation it provided in being a few mere inches away from him.

"There's nothing happening over there right now that should raise a red flag on the situation if I go over by myself. I'll be in and out really quick," Scott sighed brushing the tip of his nose in against Logan's, his words heated and laced with temptation that went beyond the simple suggestion he'd made, "then we can take our time exploring our…options with one another."

"We can take our time now to communicate and discuss your strategy. We both know how much pleasure you derive from doing just that," Logan decided keeping Scott close to him in a stubborn embrace.

"We could, but then we'd only be further behind. Trust me if I go on my own, everything will be okay at the office. Even with me, I feel great this morning. I'm energized, eager and ready to get the answers we've been seeking out Logan," Scott continued in an excited voice. He stretched his fingers of one palm out to touch Logan's shoulder before meeting his eyes again, "It's really going to be a boring task and with you waiting in the car…"

"You said I can go with you, so it's settled," Logan reminded him with a squeeze of his arm around Scott's body. He ground Scott in over his lap, feeling Scott's thighs surround his in the moment despite their disagreement on the subject matter, "I'm going with you."

"Fine, but you won't be able to get inside," Scott groaned bringing his fingers up over the back of Logan's neck, coiling into his messy hair to pull at the thick edges just enough to guide Logan's head back ever so slightly.

"Why not?" Logan asked lazily, his lips parting when Scott dipped down to slide his tongue into the damp heat of Logan's mouth. There was an intensity in the kiss, erotic and urgent as Logan's hands squeezed harder over Scott's hips, crushing Scott in over his growing manhood.

"Because I'm certain you won't get past security considering that you have to walk through those checkpoint scanners that detect metal and…" Scott curled his lip in protest before grinding his hips against Logan's in a subtle press. The collide caused Logan's breath to hasten, his face to flush with temptation when Scott pulled back just enough to meet his eyes again.

"If that place was so safe, why would you need those?" Logan inquired raising a curious brow. He awaited a response from Scott as their bodies continued to catch a familiar rhythm between them that was far more primitive then the conversation they were attempting to carry on with one another.

"Someone had a knife fight before I started working there," Scott explained with a harsh breath, his hips stilling as he met Logan with a sudden seriousness in his tone. "Someone on the tenth floor found out his wife was cheating with one of his executive bosses and confronted him. It got ugly and there was a stabbing. After the person responsible took a leap off of the roof of the building. It was a very morbid tale of stupidity and miscommunication considering the employee who did the stabbing ended up stabbing the wrong person before killing himself. The metal detectors were just a precautionary tactic after that."

"Wow, sounds like a great company to work for Scott. With coworkers like that, how ever could anyone think that you could be in any kind of danger working there?" Logan gave him a disapproving look when a frown returned to his lips in remembering that he wasn't happy about the place Scott had been tucked away at for all that time.

"Hey, it was before I arrived. I'm sure my coworkers embellished on the details a bit," Scott replied quickly returning to a subtle movement above Logan, his body serving itself up as the ultimate distraction, "but that's not really relevant to what's going on. I'm just letting you know that there's going to be no way around you getting inside."

"So then as I said before I'll stay in the car," Logan added with a small sigh unable to refrain from pushing his hands in underneath the back of Scott's belt into his pants. With a snarl, he pulled the bottom of Scott's button down shirt out from inside, hoping to create a space for him to continue touching Scott and exploring his skin, "I don't see the harm in that, do you?"

"No I guess not," Scott's lip curled in contemplation, his fingers continuing to massage through Logan's dark hair, "but even if you're waiting in the car you'll need to get dressed. Given the kind of environment we're going to be in, you'll require a shirt at the very least."

"So much for breakfast, huh?" Logan questioned with an exaggerated breath.

"We can work up an appetite while we're gone," Scott decided leaning forward to kiss Logan greedily. His fingers squeezed, against Logan's scalp, tugging on the thick, strands of his hair before they tapered off over his shoulders in an urgent press.

"I'm already starving although you haven't touched a thing, have you?" Logan paused seeing Scott's uneaten meal still on the plate before him. Reaching up to collect one of Scott's hands in his, Logan couldn't help, but ask, "Scott, did you sleep at all last night?"

"I'm fine," Scott gave Logan another quick kiss, "Just get dressed Logan. We're on a time crunch here."

"Scott," Logan decided feeling Scott climb off of his lap. He opened his mouth in protest, preparing to say something more, when a breath escaped from his lips. He watched Scott reach for a briefcase, making his way over to the door before pointing to his watch once again, "fine."

"Make it quick Logan," Scott snapped his fingers together once again, "I want to get this over with so we can get started on the next phase of our search."

"Ok I'll be right back," Logan agreed preparing to exit the kitchen when a nagging thought occurred in the back of his mind. Stopping in the kitchen's archway, Logan turned around to see Scott fishing for the car keys in his pocket and eyeing the back door to the house suspiciously, "On second thought, why don't you come with me?"

"What?" Scott questioned with a curious gulp, "Where?"

"To pick something out," Logan leaned in against the doorway, "Since you're opting to play the role of the fashion police today, why not come upstairs and help me decide what to put on?"

"You're fully capable of picking something out on your own Logan," Scott's lower lip curled in protest preparing to say something more when Logan rushed forward tearing the car keys from Scott's hand in the blink of an eye.

"Join me," Logan dangled the keys in the air, taunting Scott with them before springing up the stairs to get dressed.

"Son of a…" he could hear Scott cursing before the pounding sound of footsteps followed up at the same hurried pace Logan had moments earlier. Logan stood beside the door, taking in the scent of Scott approaching before the bedroom door swung open and Scott stepped inside laced with the scent of anger.

"So you were planning on ditching me," Logan thought to himself realizing full well that Scott wasn't about to submit to the notion of team work when impossibility was lingering all around him. Without a word, Logan pounced sending Scott down face forward onto the bed with a start. He climbed over him, keeping Scott caged beneath his overwhelming presence. "So what was the plan Summers? You were going to do what I would've once done and taken off while I put something appropriate on?"

"What? Of course not Logan," Scott's muffled words broke through the blankets beneath him, "Don't be ridiculous. I wanted you to get dressed so that we could…"

"We?" Logan repeated with a disbelieving laugh, "You've been arguing against we since you came up with the notion of leaving and something tells me if I hadn't ripped these keys out of your hand that you'd be off right now going against what we agreed upon."

"I'm not the one who doesn't follow the game plan Logan," Scott wiggled beneath him, attempting to shake Logan off of his slender form. Scott let out a frustrated groan before pushing his torso up on the blankets ever so slightly with his elbows, "You're the one who doesn't like to follow orders Logan, not me."

"You're all about giving them, but not taking them Slim. I'm not stupid," Logan snarled feeling tension spiral out between him and Scott.

"I never said you were Logan," Scott groaned twisting on the blankets beneath Logan.

"I didn't give you an explicit order, but maybe it's time that I did," Logan decided pulling back just enough to flip Scott around onto his back. In an instant, Logan could see the anger burning beneath the surface, the repressed rage that Scott was feeling in the moment of being caught at his game, yet before Scott could find a way to try to convince him of anything beyond the duplicity that he'd been contemplating, Logan's mouth crushed his, kissing him to breathlessness.

Logan could taste the impending lie upon Scott's lips, feel the betrayal lingering on Scott's tongue, but it was the fury surrounding Scott that Logan relished. He felt Scott's arms wrap around him savagely, hands gripping into Logan's shoulders, squeezing him tighter, more urgently until they scraped down Logan's spine, causing tiny tremors of fleeting pain to permeate over Logan's skin. Logan winced, pulling back ever so slightly to see the fire burning behind Scott's blue eyes. Scott said nothing, merely grunted when his leg curled around Logan's waist in an attempt to gain leverage in the situation. Scott pushed upward attempting to shove Logan again when Logan used his weight to crush Scott further into the mattress.

Scott groaned, striking Logan's shoulder in a feeble attempt at breaking loose before their mouths crashed and collided once again in a battle for dominance between them. Logan bit down on Scott's mouth, teeth breaking through the skin of Scott's lower lip causing him to wince. Scott, in turn, dug his heel into Logan's lower back, twisting and pushing until somehow in the process Scott's shoe flipped off and Scott's toes were dipping in underneath the sweatpants Logan was wearing, haphazardly pulling them down over his bottom. Logan pulled back ever so slightly, seeing the transformation of anger to arousal beneath the surface. Scott raised his head up just enough to claim Logan's mouth in another searing kiss. The kiss gave Scott the leverage he needed to fling Logan down onto the bed beneath him. The momentum shift allowed Scott the opportunity to climb on top of Logan and break loose. It seemed for a second that he'd freed himself, but instead of fleeing to the office, he reached for Logan's hand, taking Logan's fingers between his now parted lips. He groaned rocking his hips over Logan's abdomen, not bothering to censor or stifle the overwhelming ripple of sensations between them any longer.

"Scott," Logan watched Scott suck on his finger, taking it in deeper, teasing it harder before Scott wiggled over him again with expert patience, drawing out each alluring movement.

"Damn it," Logan growled roaring as he regained momentum, slamming Scott down onto the bed beneath him. Scott released his hand, lips parting in surprise as Logan released his claws sending them slashing through Scott's tie and button down shirt. The claws violently tore into the material without hesitation when instinct overtook logic in Logan's every thought. The fabric shredded, revealing the warmth of Scott's smooth skin just beyond Logan's touch. Logan's first instinct was to lean down and bite at Scott's recently sun kissed skin, listening to the sounds of him cry out in anticipation, but instead he hesitated watching closely to see Scott's chest rise and fall as their lips remained a fraction of an inch away from each other.

"Logan," Scott finally panted as they remained frozen in time, each carried away in the moment. Logan smirked when he realized that Scott's angry eyes were now clouded over with lust and intoxication, eagerly anticipating Logan's next move.

"Tell me the truth Scott. Were you planning on ditching me?" Logan searched his lover's eyes once again, demanding an answer when it became clear that something was wrong. Logan took in a breath stretching his fingers out, guiding his claws out on the blankets just beyond where Scott lay beneath him. Although he'd used them to tear Scott's clothing to pieces, he found that they weren't willing to cooperate in returning into his body. He wasn't sure if it was his anger or his focus on Scott's behavior that had him distracted enough to not be in control of it, but for the time being they weren't going anywhere. A momentary panic carried over him, setting Logan on edge when he slid his hands out further away from Scott to keep his claws at a safe distance, not intending to use them, but rather attempting to keep them from touching his lover while Logan braced himself for Scott's reaction in his quest for the truth.

"I woke up this morning not intending on you going with me," Scott stated in between labored breaths, doing his best not to be effected by Logan hovering over him, keeping him captive in the moment.

"I thought you didn't sleep last night," Logan countered when Scott reached for Logan's wrist, guiding Logan's claws over the center of Scott's bare chest, allowing them to rest over the warm skin and smooth muscle barrier over his furiously beating heart. Logan tensed up, attempting to push up on his elbow to keep his claws from cutting Scott when their eyes locked with one another all over again.

"I didn't," Scott confessed squeezing Logan's wrist over his chest harder than before.

"Scott don't," Logan couldn't help, but frown down at him in an attempt to pull his hand away from Scott's chest.

"I can take it," Scott stated simply, his blue eyes meeting Logan's in a challenge, "I'm not afraid of you. They don't frighten me."

"They frighten me sometimes," Logan blurted out thoughtlessly in feeling Scott's fingers squeeze over the top of his hand, using a tip of his finger to skim the surface of Logan's claw, unafraid and unaffected by their presence between them.

"Maybe it's time you got over that particular hang up," Scott suggested curling his finger over the top of Logan's claw, carefully brushing up against it in a subtle, skillful sweep. A smile curved over the center of Scott's lips when he applied a bit more pressure to his hold on Logan, "They're warmer than I thought they would be."

"Scott I don't think that…" Logan opened his mouth in protest, feeling a slight pressure upon them. Knowing he hadn't allowed anyone to come this close to them, yet alone touch them beyond when Logan was using them for violence, he was frozen with fear. Scott's explorations felt foreign, out of place when his soft, vulnerable flesh skimmed the surface again and again. Thinking about the many times he'd used his claws in the past during foreplay when it came to tearing Scott's clothing away, Logan had still kept them at a distance, backing off before he could truly touch Scott with them. He'd been careful to avoid any contact in using them on Scott directly and hurting him. Aside from the night he'd lost control, he hadn't thought to allow Scott or anyone else for that matter to touch them, to feel their danger in their grasp when Logan knew full well of the damage they could create effortlessly.

"The night it was inside of me, I didn't take the time to think about their texture or the sensation that carried over them. I have to admit though that I always wondered what they felt like inside of you," Scott continued lazily, something shifting in his features. He teased his touch over the tip of Logan's center claw before rounding over to the adjacent one for further exploration, "They aren't at all what I imagined up close like this."

"Scott," Logan couldn't help, but frown finding himself paralyzed by the lack of control he felt in the moment being unable to sheath his claws with Scott beneath him, touching him in ways that had ignited Logan's worst fears in the past.

Thinking about the horror Logan had felt in imagining Scott getting this close to the monster that raged inside of him, Logan found he couldn't do anything, but carry that worry with him, refusing to make a movement with Scott's hold on him. Even the tiniest of flicks or attempt to pull away could prove disastrous should Logan be so bold as to try to tear himself away from Scott. Scott, however, seemed unconcerned by Logan's unspoken fears. Then again, the more Logan watched Scott touching him, the more he realized that something had changed-had overwhelmed his senses in the moment with Scott caressing him. He felt a certain sense of invasion upon him, sliding into the warmth of his brain, guiding his senses to allow Scott the opportunity to touch him, to take the claws between his fingertips to trace their length leisurely. If anything Scott seemed intrigued by their power, dragging the palm Logan had impaled not that long ago over the top of the adamantium, careful not to break his skin's surface. Frowning, Logan eyed him suspiciously, "What are you doing Scott?"

"Touching you," Scott explained simply, revealing nothing of his thoughts when his index finger slid over the top of Logan's claw, pressing down with just enough pressure to draw a tiny drop of blood. He neither winced, nor hesitated in sliding his finger over the surface again as Logan watched with a sudden curiosity, "Don't you like it?"

"You're hurting yourself," Logan couldn't help, but frown in seeing Scott's blood on his claw. He turned his attention to the finger, watching Scott raise it up in the air guiding it towards Logan's mouth.

"Am I?" Scott questioned pushing his finger in between Logan's lips, urging Logan to take a taste of him. Silently Logan complied unable to ignore the distinct flavor of Scott that carried over him. It was unique, familiar and intoxicating as Scott pushed his finger in further, enticing Logan to suck upon it until Logan realized Scott was no longer bleeding.

"See, I'm fine," Scott smiled removing his finger and holding it up in the air. Satisfied with his actions, Scott sank back into the blankets and brought Logan over him more completely, "Feel better now?"

"You shouldn't have done that," Logan frowned trying to regain focus as he pulled his hand away from Scott. He raised it up in the air and found himself met with the same stubborn inability to will his claws back into his body.

"Why not? I trust you Logan," Scott challenged stretching out further beneath Logan's weight, "implicitly. I know that you'd never hurt me of your own accord-not with those."

"I damn near took your hand off with them Scott. You know as well as I do that…" Logan couldn't help, but frown at Scott's words when another warmth carried over his body. Tensing up, he focused on Scott again, "You're doing this, aren't you?"

"Doing what?" Scott questioned lazily, his hand reaching out to grab Logan's wrist again. He arched up off of the blankets, twisting Logan's hand just enough to lean forward and press a subtle kiss over the side of Logan's palm, his lips sliding in closer to the claws when Logan pulled back.

"You're keeping them out," Logan accused with a huff refusing to allow Scott's lips to touch them the way his fingers had, "Why?"

"I'm not afraid of you," Scott countered with a neutral expression on his face, "You're always telling me to face my fears, so maybe we should work through yours. They're out and they haven't torn me to pieces yet, have they?"

"Scott, this isn't funny," Logan growled down at him at the invisible force Scott was exerting upon Logan to prevent him from sheathing his claws. "This isn't at all…"

"It's not meant to be funny," Scott reached for Logan's hand again guiding it over his chest, "It's meant to show you that you don't have to run from your fears or let them guide your actions. You can face them head on without hesitation."

"Why are you doing this?" Logan tensed up again.

"To prove to you that I trust you," Scott met his eyes in a challenge, "That I'll always trust you no matter what happens."

"I don't like being lied to, manipulated or deceived, all of which it's clear you're doing right now," Logan clarified with a snarl and an anger in his voice. "You're holding me captive against my will."

"Weren't you just attempting to do the same with me in stealing the car keys?" Scott raised a scrutinizing brow. His lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl.

"You were lying to me," Logan snarled in warning.

"I wasn't lying to you," Scott groaned outwardly, keeping still beneath Logan, "As for the manipulation, I figured perhaps we should delve into the nightmares Jean's been giving you. She's lead you to believe that if I'm near them you'll destroy me, so I'm proving her wrong. I'm taking a stand against her by showing you that we're stronger than her-that we can control it. Hell, consider this therapy."

"I don't want therapy Scott. I don't want you mind fucking me either," Logan snarled in warning, his patience running thin with his lover.

"You didn't seem to mind it before when I let you hold the reigns on the experience," Scott couldn't help, but smirk with a darkness overtaking his features, "Come to think of it you rather enjoyed it the last time we tried."

"Let go of me Scott. Stop with the damned games because right now I'm tired of them. I want answers," Logan huffed impatiently, finding his patience running thin at Scott's manipulation.

"Fine, you want answers Logan, get off of me and we'll talk," Scott suggested wiggling his brow up at Logan.

"No, not until you start being straight with me Slim. Why the games right now? What is it that you don't want me to see that you're hiding at the office?" Logan questioned abrasively, his eyes surveying Scott's features and seeing Scott's jaw clench with an involuntary muscle strain. Bringing his claw up over the side of Scott's face, Logan couldn't help, but find himself agitated and intrigued by the way that Scott seemed unaffected by the claws Logan had feared would be his lover's undoing time and time again, "Well?"

"I'm not hiding anything at the office," Scott closed his eyes, refusing to make any kind of eye contact with Logan in his anger, "I'm just…"

"Just what?" Logan prompted further feeling Scott release the hold on his mind and allowing Logan to retract his claws. Relief carried over Logan before he reached out to touch the side of Scott's face with his fingers. He coaxed Scott into meeting his eyes again, in revealing the truth that he was fighting to suppress about what was going on.

"Right now I'm going to be late," Scott paused when the sound of his cell phone began to buzz between them, causing a vibration over Logan's thigh. Reaching down in between them, Logan paused over the center of Scott's slacks, taking the moment to brush against Scott's hardening body before he continued on to Scott's pocket withdrawing the phone. "That's probably my contact calling right now to…"

"Let's just see who you're meeting with," Logan decided holding the phone up in the air to see a text message on the screen before him, "Running behind so meet me in an hour. Hmm…well it looks like you'll have a little more time for explaining now."

"Give me that," Scott stretched his arm out after prying it out from underneath Logan. He yanked the phone from Logan's hand, reading the screen before tossing it across the bed onto the pillows, "Great, so now you're going to grill me for the next hour about who I'm meeting right?"

"If it didn't say Wendy's name on the text, I might've done that, but I think it speaks for itself," Logan snarled with jealousy, his dislike for the woman getting the best of him, "I'm assuming it's the same skank that showed up at our place trying to seduce you, yes?"

"Skank? Where did you pick up that word?" Scott couldn't help, but frown, "Marie?"

"Marie doesn't talk like that although I strongly suspect if she met Wendy she'd have to agree on my assessment or at least find a few choice words for herself," Logan bristled at Scott's questioning. "Scott, that woman is nothing, but trouble. You know it as well as I do."

"She's someone with access to anything I could need at the company Logan. She owes me a favor and…" Scott explained drawing in a nervous breath.

"What did you have to offer her in return for doing it?" Logan eyed him suspiciously, his words met with heavy distain.

"Oh please," Scott groaned rolling his eyes at Logan, "what do you think I offered her in return? Sex? A piece of my soul? Damn it Logan I told you last night I don't trade myself for information or favors."

"I know what you said Slim, but at the same time I don't even recognize you right now. You're acting like a man possessed. Look at the way you've been manipulating me-trying to…hell, I don't even know what it is you're trying to do right now Scott," Logan groaned outwardly, "with this little game of yours…"

"It's about trust," Scott shifted beneath Logan, "about proving to you that even at your darkest I still have faith in you, so why don't you have it in me? I know I've made mistakes, but…"

"Mistakes are one thing Scott, but playing head games on me like this…" Logan snarled back at him.

"Aren't right I know, but damn it Logan, I can't expect you to hold my hand through it all. I need to step up on my own and prove to myself that I'm not an invalid. If you're constantly creeping in behind me, trying to save me from myself, then how long is it going to be before I lose the strength to keep from falling? How much further will I have to sink before any semblance of my sanity is gone forever?" Scott sighed in an exaggerated breath. "If you can't trust me, then how am I ever going to trust myself?"

"You're the one working against trust here Scott, trying to pull something over me and…" Logan reminded him simply, "Don't try to turn this around on me when you just…"

"I have faith in you Logan. I trust you with all that I am, so why can't you have the same faith in me? Why can't you believe that maybe just maybe this once I can control it? That I can keep from danger long enough to pick up paperwork?" Scott whined in response, unable to repress the bitterness that carried over his tone. "Why do you have to follow me every step of the way?"

"Because there's a homicidal maniac out there trying to make you lose your mind Scott. That's the one thing that we haven't been able to avoid in all of this and if you were smart about the situation you'd see that…" Logan argued with him further.

"That I need this to know that I'm not beyond redemption. Logan, if I can't even leave my house without fear for what could happen to me every time I open up the door, then what's the point of trying? How can I go back to the school? To a place with children no less and believe that I'm not a threat to them if I can't even make my way to the office?" Scott challenged in response, "Seriously…"

"The office isn't a trip to the local store Scott. It's a place where danger surrounds you," Logan insisted with a shake of his head, "not to mention that the last time I saw Wendy she was coming on to you. She was naked in our kitchen and…"

"There's no place for jealousy in this conversation right now Logan," Scott frowned up at him.

"The hell there isn't. I could sense how she felt about you Scott. I saw with my own two eyes that she was a woman ready and willing to do what was necessary to get what she wanted," Logan attempted to argue with him.

"Kind of like you were when you decided to pursue me when I was with Jean?" Scott remarked without thinking. As soon as the words fell from his lips, he regretted them instantly.

"So that's how it's going to be?" Logan started to pull away from Scott, placing a distance between them, "Let me guess, you're probably thinking I'm making these assumptions based on the old adage of once a cheater, always a cheater, right Scott? Though in this particular scenario I think you'd be the one who was…"

"Logan, that's not what I meant," Scott began apologetically, wishing he could take his words back, "I was just…"

"Being a dick, but hey it's something you really excel at Scott," Logan rolled his eyes in response, "However, if you want to go parade around the office having tea and doting on Wendy, then be my guest. Far be it from me to give a damn about what's best for you or to be concerned about some lunatic who breaks into our home to try to jump you in the middle of the night unannounced."

"Logan, for heaven's sake, even if Wendy tried to jump me, it wouldn't make a difference," Scott mouthed sourly, "I can't even get worked up enough to touch myself unless I'm thinking of you, so do you really think that anyone else is going to be a problem for us? Even in the height of madness it's only you that consumes me, only you that turns me on…"

"I know what kind of problem she is Scott. Just the way that she…" Logan paused giving Scott a long, contemplative glance, "What did you just say?"

"Think about it Logan, I went without sex for how long before you found me again," Scott shook his head and sighed, "Do you have any idea what it was like wanting and never being able to touch? Never being able to have the fantasy fulfilled because the man you loved was…?"

"Gone," Logan finished softening his tone. He reached up again, sliding his fingers into Scott's hair tenderly, "I know you said there wasn't anyone else, but…"

"There's only you Logan," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "ever since that night in the showers there's only been you. I can't even bring myself to think about it any other way. When I'm alone or feeling…well, worked up, the only comfort I seek in it is knowing that you're here with me, beside me, loving me…"

"Scott I…" Logan dipped down to kiss him knowing he should be angry for the distraction, that he should be back on track in his questioning, but seeing the wounded expression on Scott's face, he couldn't help, but cave on his jealousy.

"I know you thought I was dead Logan and that the past isn't relevant to our future, but…," Scott took in a breath, his eyes returning to Logan once again, "You and I weren't all that publicly committed to one another when I disappeared. I mean we were together, but you'd never expressed that you wanted us to be exclusive for the rest of our lives back then, so I understand if…"

"If what?" Logan gave him another long look.

"If it wasn't the same for you. If it isn't…" Scott cleared his throat uneasily before closing his eyes, "I know that it was a long time and…"

"It was a hell of a long time to be without you Scott," Logan paused seeing something flash behind Scott's uneasy features, "but not long enough for me to have considered moving on."

"So you're saying that when we were apart…" Scott's blue eyes opened once again with surprise registering over his features.

"I gave my hand one hell of a workout thinking about you Slim, but beyond that…" Logan let out an ironic laugh, "I couldn't find it in me to move on. I didn't want to, which is probably why when I found you again that night, well, I wound up being so careless in letting loose of my inhibitions. It had been so long that I wasn't thinking-I wasn't paying attention when I sliced through your hand like I did and…"

"I healed Logan," Scott smiled up at him, "I'm better than new."

"So you are and this," Logan bent down to kiss him tenderly, "this works so much better with us as a team, does it not?"

"I just didn't want you upset about Wendy or to be feeling like I wasn't capable of a simple task," Scott finally divulged quietly, "I didn't want you to think that anything was happening there when…"

"I trust you. I've always trusted you," Logan whispered cupping Scott's face in his hands, "it's the rest of the world I don't trust. It's in those outside forces that I find myself conflicted…that I worry about what could happen…"

"I've given you plenty of reason to worry lately," Scott finally conceded, "more than you bargained for when you entered into this with me."

"Yeah, well life is full of surprises, isn't it?" Logan let out an ironic laugh, "Here I thought I'd be the one terrifying the hell out of you most of the time with my past."

"I'm not afraid of your past Logan," Scott admitted honestly, "it's more so holding onto our future that matters the most to me."

"Me too which is why I can't stand the idea of something happening to you again. If anything happens even for the smallest of seconds, I'll regret not being there," Logan agreed bending down to kiss Scott tenderly, "So, still thinking about ditching me to run off to talk to Wendy?"

"I was," Scott revealed with a small breath, "but now, well, not so much."

"Liar," Logan challenged searching Scott's features fully.

"Maybe a little bit, but there's still room for you to change my mind," Scott decided drawing in an uneasy breath.

"Glad I can still try to persuade you to rethink that stupid decision," Logan mouthed approvingly, bending down to kiss Scott once again, "but if you really feel that you need to do this on your own…"

"You'd understand?" Scott questioned pulling back to search his eyes.

"Not really and I'll still follow you regardless," Logan admitted honestly, "so we can either go together or we can simply do it the hard way."

"Why am I not surprised," Scott let out a small groan, "so either way it's having you with me or having you with me?"

"Pretty much," Logan concluded urging Scott to look up at him again, "but Scott know this isn't about a trust issue for us. This has nothing to do with my trusting you. It's about everything else that's going on beyond the two of us."

"I realize that," Scott nodded quietly.

"Scott," Logan frowned touching his cheek gently, "hey…"

"We're still going to butt heads on this one," Scott sighed as Logan felt a heaviness in his chest.

"Probably," Logan agreed giving Scott a long once over, "especially now that you've got that look on your face right now. I get the distinct feeling that…"

"I'm up to no good?" Scott decided wrapping his arms around Logan's shoulders and kissing him with a renewed hunger. "You're right. I'm downright naughty right now. You should try spanking me. It might help."

"Scott?" Logan half questioned feeling Scott's hands roaming over him all over again.

"Perhaps now would be a good time for a lesson in discipline between us-to help regain clarity and focus," Scott suggested with a firm shove of his palm into Logan's chest. Scott climbed in over him, shrugging out of the tattered shirt he was wearing, "You know although I'm going to be running a bit behind schedule it seems a few minutes have opened up, so maybe…"

"We can help each other get dressed again?" Logan suggested pulling Scott down for another eager kiss.

"Something along those lines," Scott nodded in agreement as their lips parted.

"No head games Scott," Logan warned curling his arms around Scott possessively, "because the next time you try to pull one on me, I won't be as forgiving as I was just now…"

"Fine agreed," Scott relented dipping down to kiss Logan again, "no head games…"

"Good," Logan whispered knowing only too well that a little distraction time wouldn't hurt either one of them now that they were on the same page with one another at long last.

XXXXX


	33. Chapter 33

Guilt tugged at Scott's insides when he stepped off of the elevator unable to shake the nagging feeling that overtook him at having slipped out on Logan a short while earlier. While he was quite certain Logan would be beyond furious with him later for deceiving him, even after their talk, Scott was convinced that the last place he had wanted to take Logan was to the office where a potential confrontation with Wendy and Logan could prove disastrous. Given Logan's last encounter with her, Scott had wanted to skip over the tension in any way possible even if it meant crossing a potentially dangerous line in deceiving Logan long enough to slip out undetected. Instead of laying it out on the line and holding up to his promise to allow Logan to tag along with him, Scott had tricked Logan, using his new powers to be duplicitous when they'd been making love and like a coward after Logan had fallen to sleep at Scott's suggestion, Scott had made a run for it. Knowing Logan would be furious at the deception especially after Scott had promised to allow Logan to work with him, Scott made a mental note to try to find a way to make up for it soon. Now, however, was about proving his strength and ability to stay focused. His goal had been returning to the search for information and that's exactly what Scott intended to do.

Walking out of the elevator into the hallway Scott couldn't help, but start thinking about how familiar everything still felt in his environment. Yes, maybe he hadn't missed the job since he and Logan had returned to the school, but in being back within the walls of the office again, he felt safe. He felt the pull of the simple, mundane agenda carrying over him, guiding him to recall a time when he hadn't been worried about losing his mind, about Jean or Victor, back when he hadn't been dealing with the stress of the school or expectations that were put upon him. At the office he was simply Scott Summers, star accountant with a bright future at the company ahead of him. It wasn't much, but it was the first time something was his outside of the world of the X-Men.

"Hi Scott," one of the secretaries waved at him when he walked down the familiar hallway towards Wendy's office.

"Hi Denise," he waved politely, remembering the many times he'd shared coffee and donuts with the secretaries, doing his best to be polite in making small talk with them. They'd all appreciated his efforts and it in turn had provided him with an easier work environment. Motioning to the door before him, he nodded, "Wendy in yet?"

"Actually," Denise cleared her throat, "She's not in her office this morning. She said something about you both having a meeting scheduled, but…"

"But what?" Scott stopped moving long enough to focus on Wendy's secretary, "She specifically told me she'd be here to give me what I needed and…"

"She had an emergency, but she left the package for you in Miss Frost's office," Denise nodded to the hallway that veered off in the opposite direction. "You can pick it up there when…"

"Miss Frost," Scott frowned, suddenly feeling on edge in the moment, "You don't say?"

"She's new here," Denise added taking in a breath, "She in your old office and…"

"Thanks Denise," Scott scowled shifting directions and marching to his old office only to discover the door wide open. Stepping inside he noticed the buxom blonde seated behind the desk, leaning back in his old swiveling chair with a phone pressed to her ear. Her glossy colored lips were parted with a bored expression, blue eyes focused on the matching color of her nails when Scott marched into the room slamming the door behind his arrival.

"I have to let you go," she mouthed smoothly into the phone she'd been holding. Her lips curved upward in a wicked smirk, amusement carrying over her features when she placed the phone back on it's base without further explanation. Turning in the chair, she faced Scott fully, her blue eyes widening with delight. Bringing one hand up over the low neckline of her cream colored blouse, she smiled up at him sweetly, "Scott…long time, no see."

"Emma, what are you doing here?" Scott questioned with a heavy scrutiny in his voice. He took a step towards her, his eyes narrowing with irritation when she rose to her feet.

"Someone told me that I wasn't living up to my full potential back at my other place of employment, so I figured I'd take their advice and evolve," she wiggled her brow at him suggestively, her eyes widening with delight. "What do you think? Is this more fitting for the woman I am?"

"I can't believe I'm seeing this," Scott shook his head and let out a pinched laugh, "Are you kidding me Emma?"

"I missed you," she sauntered around the desk. Her lips curved upward in the beginnings of a smirk. Her blonde hair framed her face, drawing attention to the seductive eyes that most men could easily find themselves lost in if she played her cards right, but Scott wasn't having any of it. He knew better. Learned early on what Emma was all about. Standing up taller, he cleared his throat uneasily.

"Why are you here?" Scott asked again in a stiff, neutral tone.

"I work here," Emma shrugged her shoulders simply.

"Yes, I see that, but why do you work here?" Scott questioned impatiently, his blue eyes making their ways to hers once again.

"You told me being a dancer was beneath me," she reminded him with another smirk, "and I realize you were right. That place wasn't at all the kind of environment for a woman like me. I don't know what I was thinking."

"I won't argue that you shouldn't have been there either," Scott decided thinking back to their earlier encounter a few days ago, "but at the same time what I can't quite grasp is what it is you think you're doing here."

"I needed a change of pace," she slid her perfectly sculpted nails across the top of the desk, "and since you aren't using your office anymore they were looking for someone to fill the void. I know I'm no Scott Summers, but I certainly dress up the place a bit. Don't you agree?"

"You don't belong here," Scott frowned back at her, unable to mask his uneasiness in the moment. "We both know that."

"You didn't belong here either," she shot back icily, her words full of challenge. "We both know that too, yet it didn't stop you from pretending with these people leading them to believe you were one of them. Although I must confess this is beneath you Scott. I'd always expected more from you Cyclops…"

"I don't have time for this," Scott decided throwing his hands up in the air, "Where is the package from Wendy?"

"Wendy's so mundane darling," Emma tipped her head to the side and gave him a long, appreciative once over. She curled her lip in a pout, unable to refrain from batting her eyelashes at him in the moment, "I'm highly offended that you went to her for intelligence instead of me considering all the useful information I've provided you with over the last few months. Surely, loyalty was the least you could've given me for what I've offered you."

"I don't have time for this Emma," Scott stepped up, breezing past her and moving to reach for an envelope on the desk.

"You're tense today Scott," Emma stepped in front of him, preventing him from accomplishing his goal in collecting the envelope. She reached out to touch his shoulders, sliding her fingertips over the lapels of his jacket in a seductive sweep, "Although I'm sure if you're willing we can find a way to alleviate some of that tension for you."

"I'm not in the mood. Then again you should be well aware of the fact that I pretty much was never in the mood where you were concerned," Scott bristled in response, pulling away from her with a shudder, "I just want my papers."

"My you aren't any fun anymore. I just thought it was an off night for you at the club when you were so tense. When you disappeared like you did without bothering to say goodbye to me," she remarked sourly, a wounded expression carrying over her, "though I did see all of the damage you left in your wake when you split like you did. Want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly," Scott attempted to seek out his envelope again only to feel her hand on his shoulder once more.

"So touchy," she noted with a small, whisper of a breath, "and here I thought I was being nice in letting you know that Victor Creed wasn't where you'd anticipated him being. Xavier would've sent you all out on a wild goose chase, but I set the record straight. I saved you time and frustration…"

"So it was you," Scott couldn't help, but frown remembering the tip he'd received earlier, "I had a feeling you were involved in that information when I got the email."

"You're here though," she gave him another long look, "so that means you didn't doubt the validity of my information, now did you?"

"I'm sure it was valid, but this," Scott motioned to his old office, finding himself at a loss in seeing Emma making herself comfortable in the life he'd used to escape from his past in, "this doesn't make any sense, but you already know that. This isn't where you should be."

"What can I say?" she shrugged taking a seat on the edge of the desk, "The company realized that when you have the best at your disposal, why go anywhere else?"

"Right now I don't have time for this," Scott brought his arm around her again, reaching for the envelope with a determined huff.

"Maybe you should make time for this," she scowled, issuing him a glare before Scott felt the press of her thoughts against him, pushing into his mind in an attempt to read him like she'd done in the past after Jean had ripped away his powers. Although he'd welcomed it at the time, grudgingly giving her the opportunity to help him find his way back from misery, he wasn't ready to play those games again.

"Don't," Scott warned simply, his blue eyes meeting hers with a glare.

"What?" she questioned feigning innocence, "Scott, you really need to learn to lighten up darling."

Scott frowned feeling Emma's hold on him. She refused to back down attempting to reposition herself in his mind as he'd allowed her to do in the past. Although Scott lost nearly three months without a recollection, in his earliest memories he'd struggled to find clarity and peace, which opened the door to Emma's place in his new life. She'd found him when his world was shattered to pieces and provided him with a part of what he'd lost. She'd moved in during a moment of vulnerability and promised to help him unlock the secrets in his brain, but all she'd merely done was pushed her own agenda on him, trying to seduce him at a time when he needed clarity. He'd lost his focus, but he hadn't been tempted in the ways she'd wanted, not when he'd been aware that Logan was still alive. Now was no different.

"Stop Emma," Scott warned with a snarl, placing a mental wall between them in the moment. She shuddered in the recoil, sliding back further onto the desk with surprise. Her eyes narrowed, a crease forming in her brow before she glared at him, "I have to go."

"To chase a ghost," she snapped back at him knowingly. "Admit it you don't have the first clue what you're doing right now Scott. You have no idea what's happening to you with these new powers. You went from nothing to having something that you can't explain. You want help. You want answers before it consumes you completely."

Scott remained silent, his jaw flexing with tension when she continued to speak to him.

"You're desperate to learn how to control it, much like you've been doing your whole life. I tried to help you find that control Scott when you lost your way, yet you stand there before me ungrateful and…" she continued to speak with venom in her words.

"Look," Scott huffed, preparing to lash out at her when he felt her attempt to pull his thoughts from his head again. Frowning, he felt a moment of anger overtake him. He raised his hand in the air, taking in a deep breath before sliding his arm around in front of him. With the movement Emma sank back further onto the desk, dropping down to hang over the side with surprise overtaking her features, "I really don't have time for this."

"You've changed," she noted with a hint of curiosity in her tone, "You're different. I noticed it in the club the other night. You've gained so much more than I'd anticipated when you first walked in here."

"That's right," Scott nodded in response, his jaw clenched with tightness, "so it's in your best interest not to push me today Emma. Unlike before there's a lot about me that I don't think you want to attempt to get familiar with. I'm not the same."

"Push you," she repeated with a haughty laugh watching him turn away from her, "now why would I want to do that when we both know all of your dirty little secrets Scott? We both are well aware of the pull the past has on you. We both know what you did when we were trapped in that facility and how you conducted yourself after. It's the one thing you regret, but ultimately it's what defines you-it's what's made you the man you are today."

"Emma, I'm warning you," Scott snarled back at her, unable to mask the growing anger inside of him.

"I know all of your darkness Scott. I was there when they forced you into a corner. I witnessed the madness that consumed you-when they made you the one thing you despised. You don't even remember it all yet, but you will. Sooner or later you'll see how they twisted you, turned you out from within and forced you to become a monster Scott. They turned you into the perfect little soldier," Emma challenged recovering in the moment. Her lips curved downward, their deep crimson taunt falling from her sour mouth, "Their hold on you still lingers in ways you don't dare speak of, but we both know it's there. We're both aware of what they did to you, but Logan isn't…is he?"

"I said stop," Scott's words lashed out at her, causing the paperweight on the desk to vibrate beside her.

She lowered her chin, eyes now piqued with curiosity when the glass apple started to spin beside her. Reaching for it, she couldn't help, but smile approvingly, "Impressive, not bad for the blind boy you once were, but it won't help you in the battle you're facing against the past. We both know that."

"It's none of your concern," Scott spat back at her, with an angry glare.

"Maybe not, but we both know that you're in no shape to take them on especially without Xavier in your corner," she stood up, taking a small, sauntering step towards him. Her eyes met his again with a new determination behind them, "Together we could destroy them though Scott. We've both earned the right after what they did to us. Together we could expose their vulnerabilities and…"

"I'll take my chances on my own," Scott stiffened watching her approach, knowing of the dangers she could provide any man with should they be careless enough to let her inside.

"That would be foolish," she murmured with an exaggerated breath, "especially when someone of my power could be of assistance. We both know what I'm capable of Scott and given our history with those people…"

"Stay out of it Emma. This doesn't concern you," Scott turned his back to her, preparing to leave the office now that he'd collected what he'd come for.

"Doesn't concern me?" she mouthed dryly, "Scott, when you had nothing, when you were lost inside of yourself weak and powerless I was the only link you had to your previous life. You came to me seeking out answers-truths that only I could provide you with. I gave you what you wanted and…"

"You were compensated for that," Scott glanced over his shoulder at her, "I thanked you for your help…"

"But you never rightly allowed me to obtain what I truly wanted," she gave him a long once over. A wicked laugh spilled over her lips before she shook her head at him, "You and I could've been magical together. We could've been lovers in another life Scott had you learned to let go of Logan."

"Don't flatter yourself Emma. You're not my type," Scott shrugged simply.

"Ah yes because the homicidal lunatics who try to destroy you are far more to your tastes," she wrinkled her nose at him. She opened her mouth to offer up another retort before instead shifting gears to a bored expression, "Then again I'm sure had Jean known that all these years you harbored a crush on the mighty Wolverine, she wouldn't have given you a second look. Unlike Jean though, I have a very open mind. I could look beyond your awkward beginning with Logan-even concede to the fact that it has a certain appeal in it's own right given he was your first lover. It's adorable really to think after all this time the two of you found your way back to…"

"Emma stop," Scott warned with a snarl, his body tensing up at her words.

"It's not wrong to think about it Scott even if he's lost sight of the experience. However repressed as it was for all that time Scott, it was a beautiful memory for you to share when you let me inside. It gave me a lot of insight on why you love him so much," she continued in a casual, nonchalant fashion, "It's actually kind of sexy to think that after all these years apart fate and a little bit of irony had you drawn together time and time again. Even with Xavier trying to forbid it you both found a way to overcome the odds and return to that electric chemistry that…"

"Enough," Scott snapped back at her.

"Hell, if you and I could've found our way to be together, then maybe I would've invited him to be a part of it for us considering we could've had fun together. With Logan's rich and colorful history, I'm sure he wouldn't have been opposed to a third in your relationship and unlike Jean, well I wouldn't have gone psychotic over the two of you making out," she mused with a devilish grin, "I actually find the thought to be rather thrilling."

"Why are you here Emma?" Scott cut back sharply all the while feeling his patience running thin. "What do you really want?"

"Maybe I wanted to see how you were doing since you left without saying good-bye, that you very seldom call or perhaps," she paused giving him another, scrutinizing long once over, "I wanted to see how marriage suited you. How is the happy husband?"

"About to be a whole hell of a lot happier when I return with this," Scott mouthed sourly.

"Are you sure about that? I get the distinct feeling he's not going to be happy with the little trick you played on him before you left," Emma's lips curved upward in the beginnings of a smirk. "I'm sure he'll be downright furious."

"How did you…?" Scott stopped himself realizing that she must've been reading him from the moment he'd arrived in the building. Frowning he felt an uneasiness in having Emma know of his treachery with Logan.

"It's kind of cute actually to see you behaving so naughty," Emma couldn't help, but tease him further, "and I'm sure once Logan properly channels his rage, he'll appreciate your devious side as well."

"This topic is not up for conversation with us Emma. It's none of your business," Scott warned sharply, preparing to say something more when he turned his attention to the envelope. He hesitated for a second, well aware of Emma's duplicitous nature when he tore it open.

"Oh please," Emma rolled her eyes at him when he pulled the pages out of the envelope, "You're far too paranoid Scott. If you could see inside my head, you'd realize that…"

"I don't mind if I do especially after the way you've invaded mine," Scott decided focusing on her in the moment. He concentrated, allowing his thoughts to sweep out across the room, his powers spilling into the air between them, preparing to enter her mind when her skin shifted before him, transforming to the diamond hard barrier.

"That wasn't an invitation Scott," she snapped, glowing in the moment when she faced him fully. "You might have the ability, but you certainly don't have the permission."

"And here I thought you were always looking for me to probe you Emma," Scott snickered in response, closing the envelope in his hands.

"Only on my terms," she remarked sourly, "and certainly not to help Jean."

"Jean," Scott repeated thinking about his early ties to Emma, "please don't tell me we're going there again."

"She never deserved you Scott. She wasn't worthy of you," Emma scowled back at him, "even if you were blindly intrigued by the notion of a normal life with her. She wasn't ever your heart's desire. We both knew that from the start."

"Don't talk to me about Jean," Scott warned her sharply, "I loved her."

"But not like you loved Logan, right?" Emma taunted him further, "Although it seems in your case that old adage of you never really forget your first seems to hold true, now doesn't it? Even if you wanted to forget everything about your time together, you returned to it again and…"

"Emma, I really don't want to…" Scott bit back on his words.

"I'm sorry that I didn't share that with you sooner, but if you didn't recall it on your own…" she paused searching his features once again, "You still haven't told Logan about it, have you? He still doesn't know about…?"

"I can't," Scott sighed heavily thinking about the one secret he'd still harbored about his relationship with Logan, "I wanted to, but…"

"But what?" she questioned sensing his uneasiness in his tone.

"I couldn't. It wasn't the right time. I couldn't bring myself to say anything when…" Scott stopped himself, immediately putting up a wall between him and Emma, "It's none of your business."

"It's bothering you Scott and if you aren't going to talk it through with Logan, why not approach the subject with me? What are you afraid of?" she prompted further. "The truth or how it will effect him in knowing that the two of you were…?"

"It's not his fault that things happened like they did Emma," Scott sighed heavily, "He wasn't aware of it at the time."

"And now?" she raised a curious brow. "What do you think the awareness will do to him once he's presented with the facts Scott? How do you think he'll react to them?"

"It's better to leave it in the past," Scott insisted feeling an uncomfortable sensation spilling over his body, "He locked it away in his subconscious, but knowing that it's there is enough for me. He may never remember, but now that I do again…"

"You're going to selfishly hold onto it," she let out an ironic laugh, "for fear of what? Him discovering the truth in himself that he'd fought to repress? Scott, don't you think sooner or later it could return to him again?"

"If it does I want it to be under his terms. I know what it's like to have your memories ripped away and then thrust upon you in an instant of chaos. If he doesn't remember me from that time, then I'm not going to…" Scott's words tapered off.

"You've had monumental issues with abandonment Scott starting with him, but now that you're together you're going to simply allow him to have a pass on what he did? To be free of responsibility in dealing with the demons he created in you when…?"

"I don't want to talk about this," Scott insisted with a huff. "It's in the past although, Emma, in all the times I sought you out, you never once mentioned that you remembered anything much about our time in captivity or even our being rescued by Logan. When I spoke about him, you simply allowed me to talk and you said nothing indicating anything in correlation to our past…"

"There wasn't anything to say," she shrugged her shoulders simply, returning to her previous form. She reached up to bring her fingers through her long, blonde hair before smiling sweetly, "He holds no relevance in my life considering you were the one he seduced."

"He rescued us from Stryker's lab. Surely you must remember that," Scott prompted further, searching her eyes for a long moment. She sensed the invasion and shifted to her diamond form again. "You could see him when I couldn't. You must've known that…"

"I try not to look back on things that hold no relevance in my life any longer," Emma explained with a small shrug. "Life goes on and so do I. No need to dwell on things that have no significance. As far as I'm concerned that time for me is all, but forgotten. I've moved on with my life."

"In that case I think it's safe to say that it would be best if our association ends here," Scott nodded politely. He opened his mouth to say something more, preparing to offer up another biting comeback, but instead he shifted gears on the conversation, "Thank you for the help you've given me. I hope one day you find the peace you've been seeking out Emma."

"As long as the people responsible for my sister's death are out there that won't ever be an option," she mouthed under her breath after Scott exited the office, armed with the new information on the ties to their past within the company he'd worked for. Her lips shifted, transforming to the shiny lipstick that she'd applied earlier in the day. Reaching up to smooth her hair, she knew things could've turned out differently, but this was enough for now. Scott was seeking out truth and he'd undoubtedly find it, but when he did, well that's when things would start to get interesting. That's when real justice would be served. She was certain she could count on that.

XXXXX

Logan groaned feeling an ache carry over his body when his lips parted. He tipped his head to the side, struggling to remember what he'd been doing before he'd passed out on the bed. Somehow everything felt groggy, not together when his eyelashes fluttered open to reveal the first hints of off white in the world around him. He staggered, shifting on the sheets and realizing that he was still somehow in bed. Suddenly flashes of his time with Scott carried over him, drawing him out of the impromptu nap to recall the way that they'd argued, the way that Scott had manipulated his claws, working them in some twisted game before…

"Damn it," Logan cursed dropping his head forward to feel the cowboy hat that had dropped over his face fall to his lap. It rolled over his naked body, strategically placed over his manhood when he raised his head up to discover his wrists were cuffed to the headboard, still restrained after he and Scott had dabbled a bit in bondage with one another. He growled, remembering that somehow he'd come up with the suggestion of playing with the cuffs, rather liking the idea until this moment in time when he'd awakened still restrained on their bed without Scott at his side. That could only mean one thing.

"You stupid son of a bitch," Logan snarled, feeling like a fool for not having realized Scott was placating him long enough to make his escape. Logan had known better than to trust it. He'd hoped to use seduction as a tool to keep Scott at bay and prevent him from going off without Logan. Come to think of it, the cuffs were supposed to have ended up on Scott's wrists, but now with them pressing into Logan's skin, biting into his flesh along with the cowboy hat on his lap, Logan realized his rough ride with Scott had taken an even rockier path-one that Scott was going to pay for dearly when he returned.

"Looks like you got yourself in a bit of a bind there, didn't you little brother?" Victor's voice cut through his thoughts, pulling him from his rage to discover his brother standing before him, wicked amusement carrying upon his lips.

"What the hell are you doing here Victor?" Logan snarled, ripping at his restraints. He could feel the headboard cracking beneath his grip, splintering with the amount of force Logan was using to break free.

"Relax," Victor chortled with a shake of his head, "this isn't what you think."

"The hell it isn't," Logan roared tearing the headboard to pieces and springing up off of the bed with his claws out, preparing to slash Victor to pieces. His claws thrust forward, swinging full force into Victor's abdomen when he disappeared much like Jean had the night before.

"Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy," Victor's voice taunted when Logan discovered him across the room perched on the seat near the oversized window in the bedroom, "Did you really think it would be that easy to get rid of me? That you could what…? Scratch me a few times and erase me from your memory?"

"I'm going to erase you from this world as soon as I get my hands on you," Logan lunged forward, the handcuffs still dangling from his wrists when Victor disappeared once again causing Logan to slash at air.

"You really aren't getting this, are you?" Victor taunted again when he reappeared in the doorway to the bedroom. "This isn't about me…it isn't even about the two of us because the only reason I'm here is because you want me to be. This is all you Jimmy."

"No," Logan shook his head furiously. He reached up to tear the handcuff off of his left wrist before dropping it to the floor. Pulling at the other one, he tore the metal before glaring at Victor, "you're the last person I would want around."

"Tell that to your screwed up psyche," Victor wiggled his finger around in the air, mocking Logan's confusion. He swirled the finger around beside his temple, his words flooded by laughter, "though it's no surprise that you're losing it considering that your little plaything has been poking around in there when he shouldn't be. He's digging up things he shouldn't have access to-things that you wanted to forget long before adamantium surrounded you. The disturbance he's causing is changing you Jimmy-it's making you more aware of what it is you really need. That's why I'm here. After all they say absence makes the heart grow fonder and let's face it, you're lost without me. You always have been."

"This isn't real," Logan mouthed to himself wondering just what was happening to him. He looked to the bed again, seeing the blankets in a disarray from when he'd awakened. The headboard was torn in half, the top part crushing the pillows beneath it's weight.

"It's as real as you want it to be Jimmy. All you have to do is stop denying the truth about who you are and we can be together again. We can unite and take this world by storm as we were always meant to do," Victor shrugged simply, "We can be kings…rulers of all we touch and…"

"Madness is the only thing you crave," Logan spat back at him with a snarl, "madness and destruction."

"Don't knock it until you've tried it," Victor taunted with a sadistic smirk before feigning realization, "Oh wait you have Jimmy and if memory serves me correctly you rather enjoyed it. Loved it even."

"Not like you. Never like you," Logan shook his head furiously.

"You're a killing machine. It's what you were bred for, not aprons and housecleaning," Victor announce with a look of heavy disapproval. "Why in the world would settle for mediocrity when you could be surrounded by greatness? You could have it all-could rule the world with me, but instead you keep hiding behind all the things you aren't. This wasn't what you are meant for Jimmy."

"Your life is hollow and empty, but mine…" Logan's gaze lingered to Scott's side of the bed, "it's exactly everything that you lead me to believe I never deserved."

"This is trivial at best," Victor waved his hands around in the air, "He's nothing to you. He's always been nothing, but a minor irritation-a bug in need of being squashed and the sooner you push this fascination with one-eye out of your mind, the more clearly you'll be seeing the world around you. You aren't doting and submissive. You don't take it from boys like that. You break them, bury them beneath you, crushing their very existence until…"

"No," Logan shook his head furiously, "that's your game, not mine. I'm nothing like you."

"You're more like me than you want to admit," Victor snarled with a predatory glance, "Just because you've been allowing that boy to hold the leash tight around you doesn't mean it's not there. It doesn't mean that there's not a part of you fighting to break free-to release your inhibitions and be you at long last."

"I am me," Logan argued with the phantom in his mind, "I'm the best I could ever be with Scott."

"Scott," Victor mocked the impassioned tone Logan had used, "ah yes, dear devoted Scott. The boy who simply refused to go away. The one that has caused you to let go of what you want. The weakling who has chained you to the torturously mundane in far worse ways than what you'd experienced when Stryker was calling the shots. At least back then you could engage in your thirst for blood. You could taste the violence, feel it surging in your veins and you thrived on it. Now you're bound to instinctual impotence, denying yourself the one pleasure you truly crave. You were good at being bad Jimmy. Let's face it no matter how hard you try, you're never going to be good at any of this. It's a joke."

"You're the joke," Logan cut back sharply, "you've always been inadequate. Without me you're nothing. Your life is empty, but mine…"

"Has you conjuring up images of me when you've realized it's not what you wanted or needed," Victor finished with an obtrusive smirk, "and since I'm here overtaking your thoughts, perhaps you can tell me what it is you want from me. Not that I don't appreciate the call considering it shows what you really want is to be close to me."

"Like hell," Logan snarled at the insinuation, wondering when he'd gone from the grip on sanity to out of his mind in conjuring up Victor. Thinking about Scott's earlier manipulations, he couldn't help, but question if what he was experiencing was in fact an after shock of the invasion Scott had placed upon him.

"Oh now Jimmy, is that any way to treat the only family you have left in this world? I mean truly haven't we done this song and dance for far too long with one another? We both know that eventually you're going to come back to me and when you do, well, you're going to have a lot of ass kissing you'll be doing in order to make it up to me," Victor's words continued lazily, dragging out with mild amusement at the thought. "I'll kick your ass once or twice, just to remind you that you never should've left, but after that…"

"The next time I see you, I'm going to kill you," Logan raised his head up to glare at Victor. "Mark my words on that."

"I'm flattered really, but let's be honest every time you've tried, you've failed at that task, so I really don't see that changing anytime soon," Victor taunted opening his mouth to flick the tip of his tongue over his sharp tooth, savoring the momentary satisfaction in the thought, "although it's always been fun seeing you try to take me on."

Logan said nothing simply ignoring Victor's presence in the room. He attempted to will it away as a breath escaped from his lips.

"You can't make me disappear just because it's inconvenient for you Jimmy. We're bound to one another for eternity by blood. Hell, maybe right now what you do need is a healthy dose of reality from me considering domestic bliss isn't all it's cracked up to be. I could've told you that too if you'd asked," Victor shrugged his shoulders, "especially for men like us."

Logan continued to ignore his words while pacing around the room.

"Oh come on. You can keep fighting it, but we both know how this is going to end. It's the same ageless story time and time again. It's the push and pull between us leading up to the finale where the latest love of your life, well, they make their grand exit from the world in the most dramatic of fashions," Victor mused with laughter when Logan tensed up, refraining from moving as Victor's words goaded him further, "but then again if you don't want to talk about that, then why don't you start by asking me what it is you do want to know? Just blurt it out letting me know if there's something more to my being here that you're interested in discussing than the good, old days…"

"There's not a damn thing I have to say to you," Logan snarled stomping across the room to reach for his discarded pants, "I'm going to find Scott and I'm going to…"

"I told you that little shit was no good for you, but you just wouldn't listen, would you?" Victor taunted moving in behind Logan. "You just couldn't let it go with that insatiable thirst you have for him, could you? I knew he was going to be trouble the first time you crossed paths with him. Even the second time I thought you'd learned, but now, well now he's broken you. He's domesticated you Jimmy and it's far from what you're supposed to be. He's weak, he's nothing, but you keep holding on, clinging to him like he's your lifeline. You keep going back to him, hoping for some reason he will be your salvation, but he wasn't back then and he won't be now. He's irrelevant."

"You're irrelevant," Logan roared, raising his voice loud enough to feel the walls shake around him, "You're nothing to me."

"I'm everything to you and soon you're going to realize that," Victor marched in closer to him, "Sure, you'll resist. We'll play the same song and dance that we did the last few times that boy came between us, but ultimately we both know how it'll end. Hell, maybe this time after I finish the job in killing him I'll take that ring from his finger to dangle as a prize around my neck after we wipe out every trace of him from your system."

"I'm going to kill you Victor. Mark my words on that," Logan kept his voice cold and distanced, his head starting to throb by the hallucination that carried over him.

"I should've put the little bitch down years ago. I should've gone for him first at the cabin-should've left you a surprise like I've done in the past with the others. Finding him in your bed naked, breathless and bathed in his blood would've been a suitable birthday gift, wouldn't you agree?" Victor leaned up against the dresser at the far end of the room, "Although this year, well, I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise in just how it's going to go for you."

"You're just digging yourself a deeper grave," Logan snarled pushing his pants up to his waist and tying the drawstring.

"Hey, you're the one who keeps returning to what you know is going to take you under," Victor reminded him with a taunt. "You can't deny that the taste isn't worth the after burn where that kid is concerned. He's always put you in harm's way and even now…"

"You're just making it all the easier for me to destroy you," Logan rolled his shoulders back, puffing out his chest and snarling at the taunts Victor had thrown out at him.

"I think this time I'll savor it more than I did with the last few intrusions on our path together. In the past it's been rushed, been hurried because you weren't all that far away. This time…well, this time I guess you'll have to wait and see only unlike before," Victor paused dragging out his words with heavy emphasis, "I think I'll have another taste first. I'll see what's got you so hot and bothered by him to begin with. Hell, the more I think about it, the more I see that maybe I should've stopped this back at the facility-should've marked him myself so that he didn't screw you up like this. If I would've fucked him back then, you might've walked away-might've ignored this ridiculous obsession you let take you under with your sacred, little Cyclops…"

"You stay away from Scott," Logan cut back sharply, "I'm warning you…"

"Warn all you like, but rest assured that his last thoughts before he takes his final breath will be of me-of what it feels like to have the worst pain imaginable inflicted upon him before I tear his terrified heart out of his chest," Victor promised, his words darkening with each syllable that fell from his lips.

"That's it," Logan revealed his claws again ready to slash away at the madness that surrounded him even if it was his mind playing tricks on him. Victor's presence was unnerving, causing Logan to think of Scott's many encounters with Jean tormenting him-trying to prey on his fears. Shifting gears Logan stood up taller and blinked a few times before questioning, "Jean?"

"Sorry Jimmy, but it's just the two of us. There's no room for a threesome right now," Victor shook his head with uproarious laughter, "Rest assured that problem isn't here right now, which is good for us because it gives us some of that much needed alone time with one another to talk."

"I'm not talking to you," Logan snapped stomping out of the bedroom ready to ignore his clear loss of sanity long enough to go after Scott and put this situation to rest once and for all. If Scott wanted to do things the hard way, then so be it. Logan would give him just that. Thinking about the rope in Scott's computer room that Logan had spotted the previous night, he contemplated going to collect it, to put it together in Scott's other car and driving over to the office to retrieve Scott. Metal detectors be damned because by the time Logan found his mate he was going to carry him out of the offices kicking and screaming if need be, tie him up and then drive all the way back to the school with Scott locked in the trunk if necessary. Yes, the more Logan thought about it, the more he rather liked the idea considering that Scott had willingly deceived him. Knowing that Logan also contemplated the fight that would inevitably follow their confrontation with one another. It was going to get ugly rather fast, but it was better than leaving Scott out on his own to face the next bout of madness threatening to overtake him.

"Plotting to bind and gag your lover doesn't make for domestic bliss Jimmy," Victor's voice followed Logan down the staircase, chasing after him with amusement in his voice. "Well, in some cases I suppose that it could prove to be far from interesting to explore, but with your boy toy, you might be on to something. He needs to learn a lesson. He needs to be taught that you won't stand for his manipulations. You need to put him in his place-to show him you're the master…"

"Master this," Logan charged back up the staircase, stabbing at the vision of Victor before him with a roar. The speed at which he'd charged Victor caused him to fling forward, colliding with the bedroom door before his eyes opened with a gasp.

Logan looked up listening to the winds surround him, howling in protest to the frigid Canadian temperatures outside. He blinked once, twice, three times before it dawned in on him that he was back in his own cabin-in the one place he hadn't forgotten entirely after he'd resumed his search for the past. In his time away from the school, he'd worked his way back to his former home, seeing the remains of it after a brutal fire had torn it down in some places to the foundation. It was in the ruins that Logan had felt the first hint of recall, where he could vaguely remember the smoke, the fire, the bitter, engulfing flames that had undoubtedly taken his sanctuary away from him. It was one of the last places, if not the only place Logan could remember before he had his memories stolen from him again. It was a tomb, a broken monument to what once was when Logan had returned, but that was then and now was different. Now was…

"What the…?" Logan questioned hearing the sound of water running in the distance. There was a clanking of dishes being moved around, a hint of laughter in the air. Something familiar when Logan pulled himself up off of the ground, turning towards the source of the sound. It was then that Logan felt his heart skip a beat. His breath escaped his lips, mind reeling with confusion as he looked to the younger man before him, watching the way he was working his hands over the soapy water, attempting to clean up the bowls he'd carried over to the sink. Pulling himself up off of the ground, Logan moved forward, cautiously in a tentative pattern before he found himself surrounded by something that felt too strong to be a hallucination, by something that felt too real to be ignored.

He shook his head trying to make sense of the vision-to try to understand when his gaze dropped down to take in the lines of the far too tight blue jeans that clung to the slender frame before him like a second skin. They seemed next to impossible to move in for the young man before him, yet he hadn't issued a complaint. He'd merely returned to the task at hand. He pushed his sleeves up on the repressed, blue, woolen turtleneck surrounding his slender torso. Dipping his hands down into the water, Logan watched him clean the bowls methodically until Logan's eyes fell to his bottom again, taking in his scent, his every line and knowing it from memory alone. He raised his chin up seeing the smooth, dark hair surrounding his features, revealing a teasing hint of his ear-a small glimpse of the ruby quartz glasses he was wearing.

"Scott," Logan gasped wondering why in the hell he was seeing his lover at a much younger age seemingly at home in the cabin that Logan had once surrounded himself in. It seemed impossible, seemed unimaginable, yet as Scott stood before him much younger, much more at ease than the man he was today, Logan couldn't help, but remain frozen in the moment trying to make sense of it.

"Why aren't you married Logan?" Scott questioned breaking through Logan's thoughts when Logan realized Scott was now facing him. "Why are you still alone?"

"Guess I haven't met the right person yet," Logan shrugged taking in the intoxicating scent of Scott. Unable to resist he leaned in closer to Scott, his gaze lingering over Scott's mouth in silent contemplation, "Sometimes it's easier to be alone with the kind of life I lead."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Scott nodded slightly, "but at the same time sometimes I wonder if…"

"If what?" Logan questioned reaching out around Scott to place his hands down on the base of the sink behind Scott, to keep from touching him.

"If maybe I've been looking in all the wrong places," Scott divulged rising up on his toes and surprising Logan when Scott's fingers brushed against the rough surface of Logan's skin. Logan's eyes widened, seeing Scott take the initiative to ease his fingers into Logan's wild, unruly hair.

"What are you doing kid?" Logan questioned trying to snap himself out of the daze he was in.

"Seeing if you're right," Scott slurred, a hazy expression on his face as he tipped up on his toes, inching in closer to Logan, "seeing if Jean's a bad judge of the quality in a kiss."

"Scott," Logan spoke his name preparing to issue some kind of protest when Scott's arm snaked around Logan's neck further, brazenly guiding Logan in closer to him. There was a moment of hesitation, a second where Logan knew this could go one way or the other, bridging on the verge of right and wrong, but the animalistic hunger and loneliness took over when Logan felt Scott's mouth crashing into his, surprising him with the ferocity of the kiss.

Instinctively Logan's arms wrapped around Scott's slender frame, kissing him harder, roughly as Scott leaned back into the counter. His lips parted, tongue lashing out at Logan's, wild and untrained in the art of slow and lingering. It was frantic, hungry and seeking out something that Logan himself hadn't been aware he'd been missing until that moment in time. Unable to hold back, Logan stepped forward crushing Scott further, pressing harder against his lithe form. Scott groaned, awareness of Logan's arousal bringing him down from the moment when they parted.

"Scott," Logan gasped, his eyes opening when he discovered himself back in bed, alone with the cowboy hat perched upon his head and the handcuffs dangling above his left side on the headboard beside him. Although his right wrist was bound to the headboard, he noticed a key and a piece of paper well within his reach. Seizing the key, Logan unlocked his wrist from the top of the bed, realizing that he must've been dreaming still when his mind surrounded him with images of Victor and the even more confusing vision of kissing Scott at a time when he couldn't have possibly done so. Yes, they must've crossed paths at the facility when Logan had rescued Scott. Logan had seen as much in Scott's memory, but with what Logan had just revisited in his mind, it couldn't be the same. Scott was a bit older than he'd been in Scott's memory. He'd grown up a bit, yet he'd still been quite young and…

"No way," Logan shook his head attempting to dismiss the thought when he sat up straighter looking around the room for any sign of Scott. Much like before when he thought he'd awakened Scott was gone. The only sign of him was a tiny note on Scott's pillow.

"Be back soon and I promise when I return you have my full permission to punish me this time around when we pick up where we left off with one another. I know I deserve it for this one," Logan crumbled the paper in his hand, his eyes returning to the cuffs on the bed. Sitting up straighter Logan realized that as much hot water as Scott was going to be in, he'd give him a little leeway for not restraining him completely. Still in knowing that Scott had gone out of his way to defy Logan-maybe even to manipulate Logan into sleeping, Logan couldn't help, but feel angry and betrayed. Pulling himself out of bed, Logan quickly got dressed and headed downstairs to go out into the morning, to chase after Scott, but Logan knew he was long gone.

"No matter," Logan mouthed under his breath, knowing only too well that if Scott wanted to be stubborn, he could be stubborn as well. Making his way into the study, Logan decided he would simply take the keys to the other car in the garage and follow Scott whether he liked it or not.

"We'll just see how successful you are at keeping me away," Logan pulled open the drawer where he knew Scott kept the spare keys. However, once again, Scott seemed to be one step of Logan in having removed the keys from the drawer. Logan pulled the drawer out, spilling it's contents onto the top of the desk in a frenzy.

"Damn it. Why can't you just listen for once Scott?" Logan questioned with a snarl wondering if this anger had been how Scott had felt each and every time Logan had blatantly ignored one of Scott's orders. No matter, Logan reasoned with himself, it wasn't time to empathize with Scott's earlier frustrations. It was about taking action and making sure Scott didn't wind up in even more over his head in his impulsive decision to flee. Thinking about all that had happened, Logan couldn't shake the uneasiness in the pit of his stomach in wondering what Scott's agenda was. To just abandon Logan and rush out on his own was out of character even if Logan had suspected Scott was still going to try to push for it. Wendy being around or not wasn't reason enough for Scott to be so stubborn and obstinate. He knew better. He was smarter than that. He was usually the reasonable one-the man to think things out a million and one ways before acting on impulse. Logan was reckless. Scott was responsible. It had always been that way and Logan had always perceived it to remain that way. However, it seemed fate had other plans for them.

_"Sometimes I feel like she's inside of me guiding my thoughts, forcing my hand. She tells me as much when I see her in my mind. She says that I'll never be free of her because we're joined as one, linked forever."_

Scott's words haunted Logan when he thought about Scott's sudden defiant, impulsive streak. Yes, Scott had tried to play it as a trust issue between them, but with Jean and/or the Phoenix trying to consume Scott, something like this could mean danger. That in itself bothered Logan immensely more than he'd anticipated. Something was off and instinct told Logan it wasn't a good way to start their search with one another. Now alone in the house, Logan shook his head and slumped down in the chair wondering what kind of trouble Scott was about to get himself into. The more he pondered it, the more Logan couldn't help, but grumble to himself in frustration, "Well this is a great start to the morning…"


	34. Chapter 34

"Now what?" Logan muttered under his breath thinking about Scott's deceptive retreat in ditching him. Although Scott had grudgingly agreed to having them go together to the office, Logan knew that there was something Scott was holding back on about his motivation. Unfortunately the more Logan thought about it, the more he hated to admit his worries were mounting fearing that the time apart would undoubtedly unleash another kind of hell upon Scott. Then again given that Logan was prone to nightmares all over again, it was beginning to make Logan wonder if whomever was behind Scott's torture was ready to take it to the next level in an effort to destroy the both of them. The longer Scott was away, the more potential for danger lingered and Logan couldn't help, but be worried knowing that nothing good could come out of it.

_"I don't ever want to lose you. Just the idea of being without you terrifies me Logan," he could hear Scott's voice whisper the night before, caught up in their passionate aftermath with one another._

_"It's not going to happen Scott," Logan had promised knowing only too well that the idea of walking out on Scott hadn't even entered his mind after all they'd experienced in the last few years with one another. Life without Scott had been hell and it was clear by Scott's behavior that he'd felt it as well in their absence from one another._

"So why rush out like you did?" Logan pondered aloud, unable to shake the feeling that something had changed after Logan had drifted off to an unwelcome sleep. The fact that Scott had been so insistent upon going out on his own should have been enough to keep Logan focused, but Scott hadn't been playing fair. He'd clearly entered into Logan's mind again without permission, pushing all the right buttons to make Logan complacent for the time being. Logan had foolishly let his guard down when he tried to chalk up their debate as Scott's need for independence-to prove that he wasn't beyond maintaining an air of normalcy in his life despite the chaos that had surrounded him the last few weeks. Of course now that Scott had ditched Logan in a desperate attempt at a retreat, Logan knew full well there was only going to be one way to seek out the answer in what was the guiding force when Scott had been researching on his own the night before. Perhaps in his research Logan could find the key to what had sparked Scott's sudden need to go out on his own without Logan-to see what had kept Scott from bed the previous evening.

"If you aren't going to give me answers, then maybe it's time to do a little research on my own," Logan decided opting to take full advantage of the fact that he was alone in the house. Taking in a breath and trying to tell himself that Scott would be alright on his own for a few minutes longer, Logan continued to search the study hoping to find the spare set of car keys that Scott had hidden from him along with any other clues Logan could uncover about Scott's mood shift. Now, however, after coming up empty in his search, Logan weighed out his options. Yes, perhaps Logan could've hotwired Scott's car and gone after him, but before he took such an extreme approach to dealing with Scott, Logan decided it was time to take a new approach in uncovering what Scott was keeping from him.

Discarding the contents of the drawer Logan had been rummaging through earlier, he moved to the opposite side of the office searching for clues to help decipher the source of Scott's sudden cryptic retreat and dubious behavior. The last thing they'd talked about the night before Logan had gone to bed was Stryker's facility and how Alkali Lake had only been one of the many places where Stryker had set up his experiments. Stryker's history and resources had afforded him the luxury of going to extremes in seeking out mutants and exploiting them. The government had backed up his projects, no questions asked for a very long time and it had left the door wide open to chaos. Knowing that, Logan couldn't help, but wonder just what else beyond numbers had Scott wrapped up the discovery process after Logan had gone to bed the night before. Research had been Scott's excuse, but Logan had the feeling that there was something more happening. Granted they'd both wanted to get a jump start on looking into Stryker's madness along with trying to track Victor so that they could gain a deeper understanding of what secrets were still surrounding their lives. It was the objective, yet there was something Logan was certain he was missing from the puzzle pieces. Stryker's insanity had reached out into all of their lives, but this didn't feel like it was due to uncovering Stryker's shady history. This was more personal when Logan was convinced that something felt off in Scott's behavior.

Looking to the papers in front of him, Logan thought to the pages Scott had provided him with earlier about the background on the facility where they'd all been held. While a simple set of numbers and an account with Scott's old firm might've seemed like a good lead to start with before their return to the school, Logan knew only too well that they would need something deeper to run with. Then again judging by Scott's cryptic behavior, Logan was guessing that Scott had discovered the key to just that.

"What did you find Scott?" Logan mouthed to himself trying to piece together the things that they'd come up with one another since the search for the truth began. Scott had seemingly followed the paper trail, going into financial records, but Logan found that there was another link they hadn't touched upon. Remembering Bert's confession of putting adamantium on the black market, Logan opted for a different approach. Seeing Scott's computer set up before him, Logan prepared to delve into the situation on his own, to see what he could come up with, but before he could take the first step in figuring out Scott's computer, he noticed the familiar leather, black binding of Jean's journal before him.

"What the…?" Logan questioned, feeling a gnawing sensation in his abdomen, alerting him to the fact that everything about Scott's behavior was starting to make sense. He'd been distant, devious, secretive, a bit closed off and distracted in their discussion with one another. Even when they'd made love before Scott left, it had been violent, physically driven in a more intense, highly sexual coupling devoid of the sentiment Scott usually carried with him in their encounters and with Jean's journal on the desktop before him, the reasoning behind it was becoming clearer. Logan couldn't help, but revel in the surprise of it's presence knowing only too well that he'd urged Scott to leave it behind at the school before they'd gone off to get married. Logan had almost tossed it in the trash himself, but when Scott had agreed to push it out of his mind for a while, Logan had believed he would. However, with it laying on the desk, underneath the morning's newspaper, Logan knew Scott hadn't listened. He must've hidden it in his suitcase before they'd left the school, clearly unable to let go of the torture Scott had put upon himself over Jean's words. Despite Scott's haphazard effort to hide it, it was visible, plain as day in the moment when Logan stepped forward pulling it off of the desk all the while wondering if Scott had been reading it in the hopes of seeking out clues to Jean's whereabouts.

"This has been nothing, but disaster," Logan's lip curled downward, his uneasiness returning to the pit of his stomach in remembering the trouble the book had caused for them. His first instinct was to slash it, to destroy it so that it couldn't cause anymore damage, but remembering Scott's urgency to return to the office to follow another new lead, Logan hesitated wondering if the book had played a hand in Scott wanting to go it alone this time around. He ran his fingers over the binding, sensing Scott had been touching it, been absorbed in it not long ago with his scent saturating the book before him. Taking in a breath, Logan opened up the cover, wishing he could turn away, but instead he thumbed through the book wondering what purpose it could hold in their search for the truth about Jean.

"I love Scott," he read aloud, eyes skimming the page before him. He read a few more sentences, sensing Scott had been lost in them, seeing the words that Jean had printed about the way she'd felt for the man Logan loved. When she spoke of nightmares that had consumed her, how struggling with her powers was weighing upon her mind, she noted that Scott's presence in her life was the only thing keeping her grounded. She went on about how Scott had been her rock, steady and strong doing all that he could to protect her from her nightmares. They had haunted her, terrorized her in great detail, but Scott's love had pulled her from them, giving her the strength to keep moving forward towards understanding. While Logan knew it wasn't any of his business, he could almost feel Scott's guilt, sense it in the way that Scott's fingers must've touched the corners of the page, torturing himself with Jean's thoughts all over again in taking on the brunt of the blame for her madness.

"Damn it," Logan cursed under his breath, preparing to close the book knowing no good could come from it. He would simply shut it and rid them of it forever. They could find another means of locating Jean if she was still out there, Logan rationalized. However, when Logan noticed one of the pages was protruding from the book beyond the others, he couldn't help, but be filled with a curiosity. Carefully shifting the book in his hands, he opened it to the page, seeing it was one of the last entries, written on the same day as the one that Logan had previously read about Jean's discovery in the Danger Room between Scott and Logan. The page before that was still in tact charted in detail what Jean had witnessed between Scott and Logan, but the one that was now falling from the book told a very different story, one that Logan was certain he shouldn't have encountered.

"Scott, this isn't…" Logan began allowing the page to fall from the binding into his palm. Unlike the other pages in the book, this one only carried Jean's scent upon it. Scott hadn't seen it, hadn't touched it and as Logan found himself skimming the bright, red lines of ink charting Jean's anger, he felt relieved for that simple truth. She'd been angry, furious at Scott and Logan's betrayal, yet as Logan went to crumble up the page, discarding it in the trash bin once and for all, he was stopped by one very surprising word.

"Pregnant," Logan read aloud, feeling his heart stop in his chest. He hadn't been looking for the word, hadn't been seeking it out when he'd thought to discard the page, but now that it stood out in the scribbled rant before him, loud and blatant in it's meaning, Logan felt an uneasiness coil out through his body, realization settling in over the pit of his stomach.

"No," Logan shook his head firmly, "that's not what she meant. This is…"

Logan set the journal down on the desk. Dropping into the desk chair and bringing the page with him, he felt a lump forming in his throat when he began to read the words Jean had written in a frenzy on the page.

"What am I going to do now? How can I possibly pretend that this is alright when tonight changes everything? Seeing Scott with Logan, watching him and sensing how happy he was…it brings me back to what I saw when he returned from that mission all wound up and upset those years ago. I didn't understand it back then because it was scattered, but now…" Logan read aloud, caught up in what he was seeing, "He was so wrapped up in Logan that he couldn't feel me inside of him, couldn't see me trying to read his thoughts, to pull him out from within-to remember what we have together. I wanted to turn away, to walk out of the room and pretend it was some kind of fluke, but for those few seconds when I was inside of Scott, feeling his wants, his desires and knowing that he wanted Logan just as much as Logan wanted him…oh God, where have I failed him? Why wasn't I enough? We were supposed to have forever! He promised me forever, but he wants Logan. He's lusting over Logan in ways he stopped wanting me months ago. I can sense a different side of Scott, one that he had taken from him years ago. It's one that wants Logan-one that he thinks he needs, yet I just thought that…"

Logan forced himself to stop knowing that reading Jean's words was wrong. He should've discarded the page, but the one out of place word he'd caught out of the corner of his eye still haunted him, pushing him on to read the rest of the passage.

"Tonight should've been a new beginning for us. I was ready to put what I felt for Logan in our flirtations behind me, to finally accept that fate had me where I was meant to be with Scott, with the one man who has loved me unconditionally from the start. Sure, maybe we have had problems since Logan arrived, but we always loved each other. We've overcome so much worse and through it all Scott always believed that we belonged together. He was dedicated to our future together and this child is proof of that. Knowing that I'm pregnant, that Scott's going to be a father I thought it was a sign. I was certain it would settle things for us. When Scott and I talked about our pasts, about how lost we'd felt, we'd always spoke of children. He'd felt they brought with them a new sense of belonging. Even now when I think back to that time we thought I might've been pregnant when we were younger, I was terrified. I was so afraid what a child would mean for us, to our futures, but Scott had embraced it. More than anything he'd told me that having a child was right for us. He felt it would complete our union to one another. At the time I'd been too terrified to want it, but Scott hadn't held back. Even in our youth he was prepared to be a father. He was ready even though it hadn't panned out for us. I was relieved then that we weren't having a child, yet after our scare we both talked about a family, about the possibility of what if after we were married, but now…how can I tell him about this now that his heart is no longer with me? How can I look him in the eye and say to him that we're bound to one another through a child-through a life that I know he no longer wants or needs…how can I…?"

Jean's words continued on, recounting her confusion and enthusiasm in discovering that she and Scott had finally created a life together. It had been a different feeling for her from the first time she'd been terrified that they were going to be far too young parents with a baby on the way. This time she had suspected for some time that something was wrong-had sensed it was the cause of her nightmares. She'd been conflicted, overtaken with new powers-powers that she couldn't control. Her thoughts were scattered, shifting with an uneasiness. It had been overwhelming, taking her from her normal ease to a much darker place. With each new nightmare she had sensed that the way she'd been feeling wasn't right. It had left her uneasy and worried about her powers fearing that she'd become consumed with something darker, but in reality she'd merely discovered that she was pregnant with Scott's child. The pregnancy was changing her, turning her into something else that she'd been ready to explain in another fashion until she remembered the night she and Scott had recklessly made love to one another. She wrote of how Scott had been possessed by a new driving force that night-how he hadn't been cautious or careful in his approach after he'd fought with Logan earlier in the evening. At the time she hadn't thought anything of it, but rather gave in to the moment enjoying the new, impulsive side of Scott, but it was in their time together they had created a new life. She might've had doubts before, but with that new life she believed it had brought a new hope, a new promise for the future and…

"She was pregnant," Logan mouthed to himself, overcome with an uneasiness in the pit of his stomach at the realization that Jean had kept that truth from Scott. She'd been prepared to tell him he was going to be a father when he and Logan had been together. Her seeking out Scott had been about…

"The baby," Logan mouthed to himself feeling an uncomfortable tightness in his chest. Closing his eyes, he felt reality hit him hard in knowing there had been a child involved in their twisted triangle. That had never factored into Logan's mind when Scott was with Jean. Logan had simply wanted Scott, found himself ready to claim ownership without thought of consequence to Scott's relationship with Jean. At the time it seemed simple enough, but now in knowing that another life was a part of the situation, Logan let the words sink in, "Scott was going to be a father before we…"

A shudder carried over Logan in remembering the chain of events that had followed. It seemed the situation had become increasingly complicated when Logan had made a move on Scott. It had been Logan doing what he did best in giving in to his instincts, in taking what he wanted-giving in to the most primitive of desires with the most alluring temptation he'd ever faced. Scott Summers was the last thing Logan had anticipated finding in his life, yet after one taste he simply couldn't walk away. He'd tried and failed to do so knowing that regardless of what kind of ramifications would follow, he needed Scott. At first he'd thought it was brought on by lust, by the overwhelming need to immerse himself in sex with the most resistant of subjects, but soon after when he'd sensed Scott's desire it became an obsession. He not only craved Scott, but he'd needed to consume him in order to curb his appetite. There was no holding back, yet in knowing now that Jean was pregnant when she died, it changed everything. Remembering her sacrifice at Alkali Lake, in thinking back to how she'd risked herself to save everyone on the plane, it had been poignant, horrible in it's own right, but now with the reality that she'd been carrying Scott's child at the time overtaking him, Logan was surrounded by a new feeling of anger.

"She murdered his child," Logan mouthed to himself.

"On the contrary Jimmy," Victor's voice taunted in the back of his mind, "you murdered his child."

"No," Logan shook his head in refusal to accept those words when he could hear Victor's voice taunting, beckoning him from places unknown, "I didn't know. I had no idea that…"

"You caused this. You stole that away from him," Victor howled with delight, "and here I thought you were losing your edge Jimmy, but this…well, this beats anything I could've come up with. That's a good one."

"Jean made the choice to sacrifice herself," Logan argued allowing the thought to sink in deeper, building an agonizing throb in his mind.

"Yes, but you jumping her little lover boy all, but gave her the ammunition to be pushed over the edge," Victor taunted further, his words swirling around in Logan's mind, causing his temple to throb. "Hell, I wish I could've gotten to know her. I think I might've liked her. Such rage…such passion at being sickened by the two of you together…someone I can relate to."

"It wasn't like that. If we would've known…" Logan opened his mouth to protest, wondering what the outcome might've been had things played out differently. He closed his eyes remembering Jean's death and the sorrow that had robbed Scott of logic and joy for weeks to follow. He could recall how truly devastated Scott was over Jean's ending. Scott was miserable, yet in realizing that Scott had not only lost a woman he'd spent most of his life loving, but his unborn child as well, Logan was certain that Scott would've been lost completely.

"This will break him," Victor mused with delight, "no matter how much progress you've made with your little pet, he will despise you. He'll see your relationship as the key to his child's undoing. You'll be the face of betrayal and…"

"No," Logan shook his head firmly, "that's not at all how it is. Scott and I knew nothing about a child. Jean never gave any indication that…"

"When you were kissing her she had a part of him growing inside of her?" Victor wiggled his brow suggestively, "Kind of a sick turn on for you I'd imagine. Interesting Jimmy…"

"If I would've known about that baby…" Logan struggled to get his words out.

"Don't try to be politically correct and say it would've stopped you. I know your hunger," Victor's words grew louder, approaching him in the moment, "I've seen what can happens when you don't give into it. It cages you, buries you within yourself and the only solution is to take. You have to consume yourself with it, bury yourself completely in it until it takes you under. That's what he's done time and time again Jimmy. He's sucking you into his web of drama, trying to domesticate you, but then again maybe on some level you were aware of it long before you wanted to admit it to yourself. Perhaps that's why you ignored all the signs."

"I didn't know," Logan sighed thinking back to how Scott had allowed Logan to console him, to comfort him in his grief and bring him back to love again, yet…

"Perhaps you're finally seeing that this wasn't meant to last," Victor suggested with a sudden seriousness in his tone. "You gave it a try more times than either one of us want to think about, but now…now you've driven the final nail in the coffin. The death of his child will undoubtedly tear you to pieces. He'll never forgive this."

"I didn't know," Logan snapped his head up, seeking out the source of the voice that surrounded him. Much to his relief he discovered he was alone, but it didn't do anything to quell his thoughts.

"How could you let this happen?" a voice inside Logan's head questioned bitterly knowing only too well that the truth about the baby would undoubtedly be the key to Scott finally going over the edge completely. In learning his child died with Jean's sacrifice at the lake, Logan was certain it would be just the shove Scott needed to let go of his desperate grip on reality. It would lead to an all consuming guilt and…

_"You kept trying to be something you aren't. You aren't one of them! It's time to accept that Jimmy."_

Victor's words echoed in Logan's mind over and over, reminding him that yet again he hadn't been part of the master plan for Scott's life. He'd been different-the outsider who shook Scott's world up in ways that neither had anticipated. As it stood Scott was doing everything in his power to fight for their future happiness in searching for the truth in his madness, yet with Jean's journal in hand Logan was dealt with the proof of just how much he'd eliminated Scott's opportunity for a normal life. Deep down Logan knew that Scott was all about domestic bliss. It guided a great many things that he did in life. Scott had wanted a marriage, a family and that happily ever after that men like Logan weren't capable of. Even in their union, Logan knew he hadn't made that dream easy for Scott.

With the truth weighing upon him, Logan realized that he'd made Scott feel as if deep down Logan had initially relented and entered into their marriage to pacify Scott, to placate his guilt. It had been an obstacle to work through given Logan's attitude at the time, but in knowing that Jean would've offered it up readily, eager and willing to embrace every romantic fantasy Scott carried with him, it only made Logan feel worse. Yes, he loved Scott with all that he was, needed him more than anything, but he was no where near the kind of flowery, dream lover that someone like Scott needed. Logan had always known that Scott deserved more. Hell, he'd tried to convince Scott of that time and time again, yet Scott was pushy and determined, never willing to give up on Logan when Logan was in essence the one thing that had prevented Scott and Jean from living out the dreams they once shared with one another.

"She could've given him a future. They loved each other once until you tore that away from them. They had a family ahead of them…" his subconscious taunted, tearing into the guilt that now weighed heavily upon his chest. Knowing that Logan's thirst for Scott had lead to a distance between Scott, Jean and their child, Logan felt like bad guy for the first time in a very long time.

"It should've been different," Logan mouthed to himself, his words a small hint of a whisper as he released the page. It fell to the floor, crashing down at his feet when the sound of the bell pulled him from the moment. Suddenly on edge, Logan feared Scott had returned, that he'd made his way home with an apology over his earlier exit in ditching Logan. Logan was certain that Scott would bring back new information on how they could work to save their future with one another. However, presented with proof that Logan had destroyed Scott's life in the past, Logan looked to the ring on his finger knowing he didn't deserve it. He wasn't worthy of Scott's love now that their union had cost Scott his child.

A shiver carried over Logan, chilling him to the bone when he bent down reaching for the page. Unable to help himself, he tucked it into his pocket, not sure on what he was going to say when he saw Scott again. There were so many things he'd wanted to say, so many apologies that Logan knew would never be enough, but given the commitment he and Scott had just made to one another, an out wouldn't be so simple. Walking away would be what most would suggest. They'd tell him to leave Scott be-to allow Scott the chance at a real future with someone who was more worthy. However, deep down Logan knew that wouldn't be an option, taking the coward's way out wouldn't provide Scott with peace, nor would it allow Logan to fulfill his promise to Scott in never letting go of what they had, yet the truth…

"Damn it," Logan cursed under his breath hearing the bell again. He pushed the page deeper into his pocket, still weighing out his options when he opened the door to discover Charles standing before him with disapproving eyes.

"I hope this isn't a bad time," Charles announced taking a surprising step forward into the foyer, "If it is, I don't really care because I want to see Scott now."

XXXXX

Scott rushed into the elevator, finding relief in the doors closing him inside after his confrontation with Emma. Discovering he was alone, he walked into the far side of the elevator away from the console, leaning back and dropping his head against the wall to collect his thoughts. He closed his eyes, trying to still his breath as the confrontation played out in his mind all over again. While he hadn't planned on being unnecessarily cruel to Emma, there was always something about her that got under his skin in ways he wasn't comfortable with. In seeing her today, he hadn't anticipated being blindsided by her arrival, yet when she was before him he knew that there was no avoiding the feeling that lingered inside of him over it. Yes, she'd been a part of the worst moments in his past, a reminder of the madness that Victor and the others had put him through, but he hadn't ever felt threatened by it. On some level he understood Emma, sensed what she'd been about-almost pitied her at times after she'd taken a far different path in life, yet they'd been able to forge a bond with one another when Jean had stripped him of his identity. She was one of the few people who reached out to him when he was lost, offering him something he was certain he wouldn't be able to find anywhere else. She'd been cruel at times, yet honest with him-forcing him to deal with the demons that haunted him.

"You need to let go," she had coached him into the step towards moving on, but Scott had known it was an impossibility. He'd been embarrassed by the changes, fearing what the others would think of him, yet he couldn't let go completely. He hadn't been able to move on, to walk away from his old life when his heart still belonged with Logan. Emma had sensed that early on-had even suggested that he appeal to Logan, but he'd been terrified. He'd feared what Logan would think in seeing Scott in a position of complete helplessness. He hadn't been the man that Logan had loved for so very long, yet Scott had wanted to be. Emma had promised him that together they could find a cure-a way to fix Scott, but it was futile. Nothing worked and Scott realized near the beginning of his association with Emma that it was hopeless. He would've given up on her efforts much sooner, but her telepathic powers were something Scott was drawn to. He couldn't turn away from it in knowing that it was something he'd used to keep him in touch with Logan's life, to learn what was happening in small detail with the man he loved, but now it felt as if those months were a mistake. Scott hiding hadn't helped anything-hadn't brought him any closer to peace nor had it given him and Logan what they'd needed.

"I was an idiot," Scott heard a voice inside of his head reminding him of all the time he'd wasted with Logan. Remembering how Logan had found him again by accident in Ohio was a blessing in disguise. Had Logan not encountered Scott, then Scott might've been spending the rest of his life miserable-waiting for things to turn around, but now with the ring on his finger, Scott found himself in a new place of contentment for the first time in a long time. He was happy-truly happy despite awful circumstances surrounding the lack of control in his thoughts.

"You're still attracted to her, aren't you?" Jean's voice questioned much as it had in the past, entering his mind, pulling him from the moment he'd been experiencing in thinking about Logan. He opened his eyes, feeling a chill in the air that surrounded him. Tipping his head up, he focused on the numbers over the elevator door indicating the floor he was on. "Aren't you?"

"You aren't here," Scott challenged feeling his body tense up at her presence surrounding him, "I'm not really hearing you. Even if you're out there, this isn't happening."

"Of course I'm here Scott," she frowned at him, her voice moving around in the elevator closer to him. "I'm always here."

"Then stop hiding and show yourself," Scott demanded listening to the sound of her voice carrying over the tiny elevator. "If you're still out there Jean, then come home. Come back to us so we can help you."

"Help me?" she repeated with a small laugh, "You want to help me? First you want to forget me and now…"

"You need help Jean," Scott took in a long, slow breath.

"No, you need help Scott. You're the one that's going crazy," Jean taunted him with a rush of sharp laughter, "you're the one that's been giving in to madness in destroying everything and having impossible visions, not me."

"Fine then, if I'm crazy, then I have to accept that you aren't here," Scott pinched his eyes closed tightly, refusing to give in to his hallucinations again. He clenched the bar behind him on the elevator wall and took in a breath, "If this is all in my head, then I'll will you away. I'll banish you from inside of me."

"Banish me? Do you really believe it would be that easy to get rid of me Scott? To will me away?" Jean snapped bitterly, her words hitting him in a loud, thunderous rush, "Open your eyes Scott."

"No," Scott replied sourly knowing only too well he wasn't ready to face a repeat of what had happened at the pub the other day, "not happening."

"Open them," Scott felt a distinct slap of wind across his cheek, hard and biting before his eyes felt tight, wrenching open despite his protests. The overhead light flickered leaving Scott surrounded by darkness. He reached out to the wall behind him again preparing to say something more to make the hallucination go away when he felt the warmth of something brush up against his fingertips, teasing over his uneasy skin.

"You've always had a thing for her because she appealed to that dark side when I wasn't able to," Jean continued to mouth with heavy distain, "You've always been tempted by her."

"No, I haven't," Scott cleared his throat and he stood up taller, realizing that if he was truly losing his mind, then he was going to have to double his efforts in fighting for his sanity. Fear settled in the pit of his stomach in knowing how far his previous incarnations of Jean had driven him to madness, yet with the hope of controlling it guiding him on, he tried to stay focused. Tipping his head to the side, he saw an iridescent glow beside him, transparent and rose colored, yet when he felt the warmth spill over his hand, guiding over his wrist it began to manifest bringing to life Jean's wounded features before him.

"Yes, you have," Jean's voice softened, her lip curling in disappointment as she stood before him, "You've always had a soft spot for her."

"I was never tempted by Emma when I was with you not even after," Scott argued with what he was certain was a phantom in his imagination. "She wasn't at all what I wanted Jean. You know that."

"You claimed to love me Scott, but I know you strayed," Jean mouthed sourly, "I knew it was a matter of time given that temptation was always waiting around the corner…"

"You aren't real," Scott repeated tensing up when her fingers curled around his wrist, "Even if you're still out there, you can't be…"

"I always thought if anyone could make you succumb to temptation it would be her," Jean let out an ironic laugh, her left hand reaching out through the darkness to touch the side of Scott's face. "Never in my wildest dreams did I anticipate that Logan would be our downfall. I didn't believe in all of his attempts to seduce me that he was only working his way into our bed to take you from me."

"Logan wasn't our downfall," Scott stiffened against her embrace. He felt a tightness in his chest, an uneasiness in his stomach when her fingers traveled lazily into his dark hair, "Neither was Emma. We were our own downfall."

"I don't believe that," she shook her head in refusal, "Scott, what we had was so strong. Even knowing what I did about when you disappeared, I never anticipated it being him. I just thought that you'd move beyond what happened. That it was something that you'd pushed out of your system and it wouldn't touch us again…"

"I'm sorry that I deceived you. If I had known…" Scott's words tapered off.

"You knew. You just didn't want to hold onto it. You asked Charles to help you forget," she caressed his skin, her words laced with sadness, "You wanted that part of your life to go away in order to make room for what we had. We were happy Scott. We started over fresh with one another."

"We had good times together," he conceded with a small sigh, "You were my best friend for so long Jean."

"I thought you loved me Scott," Jean's gaze dipped down to his mouth, her eyes darkening in the moment, "That we meant something to each other."

"We did mean something to each other," Scott's voice trembled, cracking with emotion, "We used to mean everything to one another Jean at a time when we needed each other. When we were lost we had a purpose in being together."

"We still need each other Scott," her thumbs brushed over the hollow of his cheekbones, "more and more each day."

"Then let me help you," Scott pleaded with her, "if you're still out there, come back to me."

"Because you want us to be together again?" she questioned with a hopefulness behind her dark eyes, "Because you want to love me again?"

"I'll always love you Jean," Scott promised somberly knowing there was no denying the truth in his heart, "but I'm in love with Logan."

"You were in love with me once. I was the world to you Scott. I can be the world to you again," she coaxed her fingers through his hair, "We can go back to what we once were with one another. We can be a family and…"

"No," he closed his eyes, feeling the weight of guilt overtake him, "Jean, I care about you so very much, but what we had is gone. This isn't real. You aren't here. We aren't…"

"We could be," Jean's voice echoed in his mind, chilling him to the bone, "We could return to what we once were Scott. We can erase Logan again so that we could be better than before."

"No," he replied somberly feeling her lips against the side of his neck in a tender press, creating a warmth over his skin, "we can't. We weren't meant to be."

"Yes we were. I have proof of that Scott," Jean's hurt echoed in his mind, drawing out memories he'd buried deep inside of him. In an instant he was presented with their first kiss, to the first time he told her he loved her moving forward through all the beautiful moments they'd shared as younger, less jaded versions of themselves in love. Unlike the other times she'd taunted him, she was trying to force his mind to recall the good times they shared-to feel the joys that once surrounded their lives, "We were so good together Scott."

"We were," he agreed with a lump forming in the back of his throat, his body overtaken by the emotion he was feeling in the moment. Despite her hold on him, his thoughts shifted returning to the few weeks he'd been away from the school, to a time his subconscious had kept from him until recently where he was surrounded by Logan, "but as with all good things at that age, we weren't meant to last. I loved you with all that I was Jean. I wanted to share my life with you, but we changed. I changed. You deserved more. I wasn't the man you needed. So many times I wished I could be, but I was far from it. You deserved real love from someone who could've given you the world-from someone who wasn't living a lie and hurting you by facilitating it along the way."

"Our love wasn't a lie Scott," she argued with him, "You of all people know how real what we felt for one another was."

"I didn't say it wasn't real Jean, but at the end, we both wanted different things. We were both ready to move on," Scott sighed heavily, "Deep down we knew it was time, but we were just delaying the inevitable in pretending that things were still the same."

"It wasn't pretend Scott. Yes, we made mistakes, but it was real. Everything we shared was so real…" she whispered, her breath pressing in against his skin.

"It was time to move on. I only wish I hadn't been such a coward in admitting to that. I'm sorry," Scott lowered his head somberly, "You deserved better."

"I don't care what I deserved. I want you," Jean half pleaded, her words reaching down deep into his chest, "Haven't I shown you that by the gifts I've given you Scott?"

"Jean," he whispered her name feeling himself on the brink of sanity when he opened his eyes again to see her still before him, a tear falling down her cheek. She stepped forward coaxing him to wrap her up in his arms.

"I've given you a second chance-given you the means of bringing this all together for us. I saved you Scott. I took you away from the life that they forced upon us. I gave you freedom to begin again without worrying about keeping a tight reign on control," Jean continued in an impassioned tone. "Together we can break away. We can reclaim what's ours. We can take back what they stole from us…"

"No," Scott shook his head firmly, unable to lose himself to his delusions a second longer, "Jean, I'm sorry, but I can't do this. I can't let you haunt my mind no matter how much I hate how I hurt you. I know it was wrong and maybe you'll never be able to forgive me, but I am truly sorry."

"I know you are," she reached for him again, "I know that you wouldn't have done those things unless you were pushed into it. Even if you thought you felt something for Logan…"

"I love Logan," Scott explained unwilling to keep lying to her even if she was merely a ghost embedded in his twisted subconscious, "Maybe a part of me always did. Jean, I'm so sorry…"

"Not as sorry as you're going to be," her voice shifted, darkening when her eyes turned black. Her skin began to glow, rippling with bubbles when Scott felt a sudden heat surround him. It vibrated over his body, penetrating his brain and caused him to drop down to the ground clenching his head tightly. He could hear the click of footsteps on the floor of the elevator, making time stand still when a hot press of a hand dropped down onto his shoulder. Nails curled down into his body, biting into his flesh when a loud screeching wail surrounded him.

"If you think that her death opened the door to you and Logan living happily ever after, you're wrong," her voice was a seething hiss, wild and furious when her fingers continued to twist into his flesh, bringing with it a throbbing, burning impulse. "She doesn't want that. I won't allow it and now it's time to pay."

"Phoenix," Scott breathed heavily, feeling a twisting pull upon his chest, squeezing him tighter, harder with each passing second until he found it difficult to breathe. He flopped down onto the floor, struggling to gain control of his senses when a bright light surrounded him.

"I'm tired of you not listening to me Scott. Time and time again I've tried to get you to come to me willingly, but your stubborn refusal is only causing torment in your life. It could've been so much easier if you'd stop fighting me, but given that you're trying to cling to a life that no longer welcomes you, you've made this increasingly difficult for me. Now it's time to take what's mine one way or the other," her voice haunted him, cutting him to the core when a loud, explosive, screeching sound shot out from overhead beyond the elevator. For a minute Scott thought that it was crashing, that the world was coming to pieces around him, but in the blink of an eye he was standing at the back of the elevator watching the doors open to reveal the lobby before him. With a racing pulse and his heart pounding in his chest, Scott couldn't ignore the layer of sweat that caused his shirt to stick to his body like a second skin. He couldn't discard the lingering fear that had consumed him. For a moment he'd believed the threat was real-that Phoenix was with him as she'd been back at the pub, but almost as soon as the delusion had haunted him, it faded, giving way to the reality he'd surrounded himself with. Still with a warmth carrying over him, a pain radiating in his shoulder, he wondered how far his subconscious was allowing him to sink.

"Scott," one of the receptionists from his office greeted him with an uneasy expression. She took a tentative step forward into the elevator, "going up?"

"Actually I was just leaving," Scott explained realizing he'd dropped his envelope in the midst of his hallucination. He bent down to pick it up, preparing to collect his things and leave when the smaller, rounded woman before him gasped.

"Scott you're bleeding," the woman pointed over at his shoulder, "You look like you cut yourself…"

"What?" he stood upright, taking notice of the traces of blood on his shirt. He turned to look at his reflection in the mirror on the wall behind him in the elevator. While he was certain the wound had already begun to heal itself, the blood was a sign-proof that there was more to his hallucination he'd experienced. In the past his marks had faded, but this time his shirt carried the unmistakable proof that he hadn't inflicted the pain upon himself. It was something to work with, he realized when he moved his hand up to the side of his neck discovering the smeared stain of lipstick against his flesh. Suddenly everything started to become clearer for him. Someone else was there with him, taunting him.

"Are you alright?" the receptionist moved forward, attempting to see the source of his injury.

"I'm fine," Scott promised bringing his hand up over his shoulder to cover the blood, "It's nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing," she pried further.

"I was just on my way out," Scott answered evasively in an attempt to carefully make his way out of the elevator. Keeping his hand over his shoulder, he offered up a few quick pleasantries before rushing out into the lobby knowing that whatever just happened couldn't have been good. Although he had plenty of questions, right now he wanted to return home to Logan-to tell him about what was happening now that his hallucinations had become external, stepping outside of his mind so that they could both figure it out together. Only then could he make sense of it. That much he was certain of.

XXXXX


	35. Chapter 35

"Scott isn't here," Logan remarked stiffly in response to Xavier's abrasive tone, grudgingly inviting Charles into Scott's home. Stepping aside, he watched Charles move around on his own two feet into the foyer of the living room effortlessly. His stride was firm and determined when he began to survey the living room, giving it a long once over. It was then that Logan finally understood what Scott had meant about the changes in Charles. Closing the door behind Charles, Logan took in a small breath attempting to be polite when he entered the living room behind Charles, "but you're more then welcome to wait for him if you'd like."

"I was planning on it," Charles inspected the room surrounding them, giving everything intense scrutiny when he perused the bookshelves over by the television.

"There's a photo of you and Scott fishing with one another if you're interested in taking a stroll down memory lane," Logan mouthed standing up taller, doing his best to be casual and polite in the conversation, "It's behind that vase if you want to take a look at it. Normally he keeps it out on the table, but I think it got moved around in the shuffle when Scott was taking things back to the school."

Charles followed Logan's instructions, leaning down to retrieve the framed photo. Logan watched silently, seeing the beginnings of a smile that carried over Xavier's lips in the moment of contemplation. While Logan knew that it was probably irrelevant to whatever conversation was ahead, he could sense the fondness Charles still felt for Scott. Despite their growing tension with one another, Logan knew full well that the photograph served as a reminder of a time when Scott had trusted in Charles implicitly, when Scott was ready to do everything in his power to make Charles happy. At times Logan had almost envied Scott's ability to have such blind faith in one person. It had been an unconditional admiration, one that truly defined the man Scott had become, yet with the growing tension within the group Logan couldn't help, but wonder if they would all be able to get back to a place of simplicity and ease with one another. Judging by the way Charles had entered the house, Logan had sincerely doubted it.

"Did you know when Scott was a boy, he'd always dreamt of adventure?" Charles pondered aloud, not really speaking directly to Logan. "He had always hoped to move beyond the world that he'd been brought into. To see such violence and terror at such a young age changes a boy you see. It brings them to a place where they aren't at ease in their element. It works to destroy their subconscious, leaving them with so much rage…"

Logan remained silent watching as Charles touched the framed photo once again.

"Scott was so lost when he came to us," Charles continued with a heaviness in his words, "I tried everything in my power to protect him. I tried to save him, to help him discover the best in himself, but with Scott's anguish it proved to be a challenge. I wanted to help him."

"You did in a great many ways," Logan divulged thinking about all his lover had endured through the years.

"I tried my best," Charles raised his head up, giving Logan another long look, "but unfortunately that wasn't good enough for Scott. I wasn't able to shield him from the horrors of the world as I'd intended. Don't get me wrong I'd wanted to be a realist, but I'd also hoped that he'd be able to achieve the peace in his life that had been denied to him at such a tentative age. Whether you agree with my methods or not…"

"I'm not judging you for the choice you and Scott made back then," Logan replied simply, "it's not my place."

"No, it's not, but at the same time there are a great many things about Scott you couldn't possibly understand," Charles met his eyes in a challenge, "He was a very emotional young man when he came to us. There were so many things happening to him, things that he didn't dare speak a word about. He was troubled, tormented and fearful of the world around him. In some cases fear can breed contempt and hatred for the world around a person, but not with Scott. He internalized, taking it in deeper until finally I feared he would burst apart at the seams. I wanted to spare him that fate Logan. I wanted him to find a new purpose and reason in his life…something to push forward with and believe in."

"I get it," Logan rolled his shoulders back, "you wiped his mind taking out the horrors in the process. Scott's told me about that."

"Then I trust he also told you about the mission he went on shortly after he was made a squad leader? About the second time he asked me to banish the nightmares in his life?" Charles searched Logan's eyes before letting out an ironic laugh, "I'll take that as a no."

Logan remained silent watching Charles look around the room, surveying it lost in his contemplations. Logan anticipated the conversation was done, but before long Charles spoke up again.

"Scott was still a teenager when he'd been promoted to squad leader. He was a brilliant youth," Charles continued leaning forward to place the framed photo down on the table again. "He never gave himself near enough credit, but he was a natural born leader. He had all the tools at his disposal, but all he needed was a little encouragement. Even with all he'd endured, it taught him survival. It gave him an edge that he was able to channel into battle. He was stronger because of it once we worked to suppress the worst of the memories."

"So you turned him into a perfect, little soldier?" Logan couldn't help, but roll his eyes. "What kind of life is that for a kid?"

"Scott entered into the situation knowingly. He wanted to help protect our kind, to keep them safe. I've never condoned war. It's never been what I've wanted for any of us, but there have been threats to our civilization that we've had to respond to in order to bring about peace within the world we live in. Scott wasn't a soldier. He's always been my protégé working with me to bring our ideals to life. He wanted to bring peace into our community, to have us find a way to work towards the end of the prejudices that have spun so many battles and hatred…"

"Why are you telling me this?" Logan couldn't help, but ask.

"Because you want an understanding and now I'm giving you just that Logan," Charles answered with tension carrying over his features. "You claim to know and love Scott, but to do so it's time you start understanding him."

"I do understand him," Logan frowned.

"Then you know of how with the slightest push he can find himself falling to madness again?" Charles raised a curious brow, "Or how when he went on the particular mission I spoke of, he found himself facing the worst of the worst in bitter conditions? He was separated from his team and was tormented in the aftermath of what had taken place. That mission shaped his future Logan. It made him the man he is today. He was young and impressionable and made some bad choices at the time."

"How?" Logan questioned wearily, sensing something was off in Xavier's tone.

"He found himself at odds with his environment, fighting both internal and external battles until he found reprieve in an unlikely source," Charles searched Logan's features once again. "He opened himself to trust again, to seek solace in another who ultimately destroyed him. The level of betrayal he'd felt after that experience damn near broke him, took him from all the progress I'd made back to questioning everything about himself. He lost sight of what he'd done for himself in order to return to the misery that he'd immersed himself in time and time again."

"Why are you telling me this?" Logan tipped his head to the side and frowned.

"Because it took Scott a very long time to trust anyone again after that and knowing what I do about the situation, the last thing I want is for him to get hurt when his expectations don't meet reality. He's already been down that road far too many times for my liking Logan and I don't want to see him hurt again," Charles explained in a firm, warning tone. "He's come too far to be taken back to that kind of disappointment in his life all over again."

"Then perhaps you should've thought about that before you started screwing with his head and trying to chase away his happiness," Logan scoffed in response, folding his arms in front of his chest.

"You were always planning on leaving Logan. It was only a matter of time," Charles challenged taking a step in closer to Logan, "Scott's always known that about you, so in delaying the inevitable conclusion in all of this, it's only prolonging his misery."

"Misery?" Logan repeated thinking of a few choice words to deliver Charles. However, instead he opted to take the high road in ignoring the baiting words from Charles.

"Abandonment is the worst kind of pain for Scott. He fears it and envelops himself in the belief that with each time it happens that it makes him less of a person-that it takes away from who he is. It makes him feel inadequate in a great many ways that not even my assistance can truly sweep away from his subconscious," Charles offered up with a cryptic expression on his face. "It's in your nature to leave Logan and when you do regardless of the situation that surrounds you, it ultimately tears him to pieces all over again."

"I'm not leaving him this time," Logan countered with the beginnings of a snarl.

"As much as I appreciate all you've done for us Logan, I truly believe you never should've had the opportunity to do so in the first place," Charles informed him bluntly, "Scott deserves better than everything you've given him. He still does. He's meant for so many great things that you can't even begin to understand right now."

"You know what? I really don't think you're the person to be saying this to me considering that…on second thought can I get you a drink?" Logan questioned clearing his throat. He shuffled on his feet turning his attention to Scott's impressive kitchen knowing that he could certainly find a way to keep himself busy for a while instead of blurting out what he'd been thinking upon Xavier's arrival.

"Logan, let's dispose of the pleasantries and get to the point," Charles turned around to face him fully. His brow was creased with tension, blue eyes mounted with pending concerns as Logan kept a safe distance away from him, "I didn't come all the way out here to argue with you. I realize that's what you're anticipating, but…"

"Who's arguing? You'd laid it out on the line and told me what you think of me. I get it. There's no questioning the subject matter," Logan folded his arms in front of his chest defensively. Raising a curious brow, Logan gave Charles another long look, "although I've got plenty of questions for you. Given that Scott explained you'd both gone through changes, I wasn't quite sure what he meant until now when I see you standing there before me. So tell me is this a product of Jean's interference or merely one of Stryker's experiments just like I was?"

"My condition has changed dramatically just as Scott's did in our time away from everyone," Charles informed Logan in a neutral tone, his blue eyes seeking out Logan's in the moment. "I've chosen to keep this from the others at the school because…"

"It's easier to deal with secrets and deceptions, then to just be honest with one another, right?" Logan threw his hands up in the air, unable to mask the heavy sarcasm in his tone. "Honestly I don't understand how you can be so hypocritical. You were all so full of ideals when I first arrived, but now it's like everything leads to another lie. Instead of helping one another it's as if we're at war with ourselves each trying to keep the truth from the other. The unity is gone and…"

"It wasn't supposed to be like this. Believe me it's the last thing that I wanted, but unfortunately situations have arisen that have backed us all into a corner," Charles stated plainly his voice unapologetic and devoid of the stoic reasonability that he'd often carried with him. This time Logan could sense an apprehension, a darkness guiding his actions and while Logan had known in the past not to question it, today he wasn't above pushing the envelope a bit.

"You mean like Scott and I being together?" Logan mouthed sourly, unable to hold back on the defensive tendencies inside of him. He caught the curious expression on Charles' face before adding, "Yeah before you arrived to let me know what you think Scott mentioned your views on that particular subject to me as well. I realize it's undoubtedly an inconvenience to whatever it is that you've been planning, but we wouldn't have it any other way."

"Scott's in a very tentative position in his life Logan. What he's experienced in the last few years alone is something that neither one of us can understand fully," Charles spoke up smoothly.

"Yet you think you're the one who can put the pieces together for him, yes?" Logan challenged taking a step forward. "Given that you both were torn to shreds both metaphorically and literally, you think that if you have a tight grip on him that what? That he'll return to that uptight, rigid control that he's pushed upon himself for years?"

"Scott needs to be in control of his powers," Charles insisted firmly, "It's in essence what defines him because if he can't control it, then we all know what the outcome can be. Just because he believes that he's able to take the reigns of his powers doesn't mean that's truly how it is. There are a great many things happening inside of him Logan-things that we're only going to understand if you take a step back and allow him the self discovery."

"Just like you wanted me to step away and do the same about my past?" Logan let out an ironic laugh, "You know Chuck for a while there I thought that you actually were going to help me when you promised to give me the answers I was seeking out, but it was one wild goose chase after another…"

"You needed to discover your past on your own-at your own pace," Charles frowned back at him. "The brain can only endure so much torture before…"

"It erupts," Logan snapped back at him, "and that's exactly what Scott did when he realized what had happened to him. He'd been dealing with nightmares for months before we lost him. We all saw what he was experiencing after Jean's death yet…"

"I tried to reach him, but I couldn't," Charles argued with him, "You of all people know that I did my best to…"

"Maybe your best wasn't good enough because we still lost him," Logan snarled defensively, unable to hold back on the pent up frustrations he'd carried with him over losing Scott to begin with. "We all failed him and when you sent us out to the lake to retrieve Jean you never once indicated that Scott was still out there."

"I didn't know," Charles answered simply, "If I had known…"

"Would you have told us?" Logan questioned cynically, "Better yet would you have let me know considering that it's clear you don't feel I have any rights to a position in his life?"

"Logan, this isn't about you and Scott. It's about…" Charles began impatiently.

"It's about the time we all lost. You could've looked harder, could've sought him out before Jean damn near destroyed us all. Sure, we all wanted to save Jean, but what about Scott? What about the hell he went through in thinking we all abandoned him?" Logan's voice raised with anger. "Had I known…"

"It wouldn't have mattered at the time," Charles sighed heavily, "we can't change the past Logan."

"No, we can't, but we can work on improving the future," Logan conceded drawing in a breath, "starting with Scott and I being together. Despite your best efforts to put an end to it, he and I are rather close and that's not changing anytime soon."

"I didn't anticipate it would be that simple given that you both raced off into matrimony not that long ago," Charles met Logan's eyes in a challenge, "Although one would infer that the haste on your end was to cover up something deeper you're hoping won't cause a wedge between the both of you."

"Spare me the sermon," Logan couldn't help, but roll his eyes. "I know the lead you gave me on Victor was bullshit. That was merely a tactic to get me away from Scott, admit it."

"Scott needs to be surrounded by those who can help him right now. Neither one of us have any idea what's happening to him and being out here vulnerable can only mean…" Charles offered up with a worried crease in his brow, his blue eyes full of distain.

"Scott's finding himself. For the first time in a very long time he's happy. He's finally letting go of the guilt he's been carrying around with him for years, so why would you want to take that from him?" Logan questioned with an uneasiness in his voice.

"I'm not the one taking that from him," Charles hesitated, his blue eyes reaching into Logan, pushing past Logan's comfort zone to study him, "but you feel that you have, don't you?"

"Stop it," Logan warned with a snarl, feeling his impulses on edge when he glared at Charles. "Don't try to read me."

"Your physical signs are shouting it from the rooftop right now," Charles shrugged, moving fluidly across the room to take a seat in one of the chairs, "I don't have to read anything to know that you're feeling remorseful over what Scott's lost in his life."

"So then you know," Logan's eyes widened with surprise when he was met by the solemn expression on Xavier's face.

"About the child," Charles remarked somberly. He nodded, "yes."

"Yet you've never told him," Logan replied with an accusatory tone sensing there was far more to the story then anyone had realized.

"Would you have done so if you were in my position?" Charles raised his head up to see the anger behind Logan's features. "Before you draw the wrong conclusion about any of this, I should preface this by saying that I wasn't aware of the truth until Jean was out there trying to save us. It was only then that I felt it inside of her…"

"Why didn't you try to stop her?" Logan softened his tone, moving across the room to take a seat across from Charles. The memory of Jean's sacrifice overtook Logan, pulling him back to the moment when her seemingly inevitable ending shattered everyone, "Why didn't you convince her to return?"

"She'd already decided to give Scott a second chance at happiness…with you," Charles sighed with a small shake of his head. "I'd tried to convince her otherwise, but she was determined…"

"She was pregnant with his child," Logan snapped back at him unable to hold back on his rage, "there was an innocent life on the line."

"She wouldn't let me inside to fix this Logan. You were there when it happened. She closed me out of what was happening with her. As much as I tried to reach her, I couldn't change her mind. You saw how she'd shut us all out in those moments," Charles admitted honestly, his voice pained with the truth, "I tried to plead with her, but she was so stubborn. She was determined and…"

"Why?" Logan couldn't help, but ask with confusion settling in upon him. "Why sacrifice the child? Why would she do that when she realized what this would mean to her? To Scott?"

Charles remained silent, turning his eyes away from Logan.

"Because of what Scott and I have with each other? That's what you're going to say, isn't it? That it's because of what I did to destroy them?" Logan questioned somberly allowing the numbing sensation of guilt to return to the front burner of his mind, reminding him of all the times he'd sworn to Scott that he wouldn't hurt him willingly. In all those moments of doubt, in the self loathing he'd believed he hadn't been good enough for Scott, but now he had proof that validated that fear in Jean's sacrifice, "Is that why she did it? Her act of selflessness wasn't selfless at all, but rather means of punishing him for loving me? For what we shared? That's why she's still haunting him, isn't it? Torturing him by murdering their child wasn't enough when she wants to dig the knife deeper. She's trying to tear him to pieces completely to punish him for…"

"There are things you don't understand Logan," Charles attempted to explain to him.

"I understand cold blooded murder and that's exactly what Jean did when she made the decision to take Scott's child down under with her. Even if she was furious with me or Scott, she had no right to steal that child's life away like she did. What she did was…" Logan felt sickened by the thought of what Jean had done to hurt Scott.

"Jean's sacrifice was made out of the purest of intentions. She felt there was no other way at the time. She knew the inevitable outcome that we would all face should the situation take us under," Charles announced firmly hoping to dispel some of Logan's anger, "She was following her instincts, yet…"

"What?" Logan asked almost afraid to know the answer to his question.

"When Phoenix fully emerged, she was full of the most primitive of instincts. Passion, rage, vengeance," Charles took in an uneasy breath recounting the past, "You saw first hand what she was capable of…"

"Phoenix," Logan repeated remembering the last version of Jean he'd brought to her painful ending. He'd known at the time that she wasn't the woman he'd been fond of, wasn't the same person that Scott had loved, yet in her wrath and suffering, he knew there was no other way…

"She surrounded herself with the weight of the betrayal. It ate away at her, crawling deep under the surface, simmering to a boil until the fury unleashed itself breaking the woman we knew apart from within," Charles blurted out with raw honesty in his voice, "Unlike Jean she wasn't capable of forgiveness. She was in essence every bit as much a part of Jean as Jean was herself. She was the dark half, the voice that ignored reason and logic. Jean feared for her child, wishing to find another way, but Phoenix was full of vengeance wanting the both of you to suffer for causing her to feel lust, then betrayal."

"So you're saying that she…?" Logan's jaw dropped in horror knowing only too well the truth behind the realization.

"Phoenix guided Jean to the sacrifice, to take a stand, but in those final moments when Jean realized what she was doing-when Jean feared for her child's future, Phoenix took control of Jean guiding her actions in the hopes of hurting the both of you like she'd been hurt," Charles revealed somberly. "It was too much for her to take, so she channeled her rage into what happened at the lake."

"She took Jean and the baby from Scott because we had…" Logan slumped over in his seat when the weight of the moment hung over him. "She took away his child because…"

"She was out of her mind Logan," Charles added with a heaviness in his voice. "She was so lost inside of herself that she didn't realize what she was doing was wrong. She'd made a decision and…"

"You've known since that night, yet you've never said anything about it," Logan mouthed weakly, "Even now you would've kept it from Scott forever if you could've."

"Scott's in a very tentative place in his life right now," Charles noted with a small breath, "Given all that he's endured-all he was experiencing at the time, how could I tell him that not only had he lost Jean, but his child as well? He'd already been through so much in his young life…"

"He had fatherhood taken away from him…" Logan dropped his head shamefully, "because of what we have. Because I was weak and couldn't resist giving in to my wants, my desires…"

"Logan," Charles opened his mouth to say something more, but hesitated, "right now Scott needs to heal. He needs to be strong enough to experience his grief, to realize the weight of the decisions without going over the edge. I'd intended on helping ease him into that when you were away, but…"

"Once again you think that I stole that from him," Logan added with a heaviness in his heart. "I didn't allow him the opportunity to have a family…to…"

"Logan," Charles began shifting on the chair before him, "as it stands right now there are a lot of truths we're all dealing with. Each one holds meaning and importance, yet…"

"What?" Logan questioned.

"For Scott his journey is about to take him on a far different path, then yours will. There are things that he needs to understand, that he needs to process while you seek out Victor. Yes, he may want to join you-to have you take part in the quest for the truth about Jean, but when it gets down to it, he's not ready for that. He can't face that now in knowing what's still out there. He needs to have clarity and focus before…" Charles continued in a smooth, even tone.

"You're about to ask me to leave again, aren't you?" Logan let out an ironic laugh, "After all the times you begged me to stay…"

"It's in Scott's best interest if he's not distracted right now. He needs to focus on the things I must share with him. He needs to see that…" Charles attempted to explain the situation when there was a loud booming sound from the foyer.

"Logan's not going anywhere," Scott's voice announced his overwhelming presence. With it Logan noticed that the vase that had been on the pillar beside the door was floating around in the air. It spun recklessly, spiraling faster beside Scott until finally it was slammed to the ground by an invisible force causing both men to be on edge in the moment, "and there's no point in trying to make him leave because right now the only person I want gone is you Charles."

XXXXX


	36. Chapter 36

"Scott," Logan mouthed in surprise, unable to calm the furious pounding of his heart in knowing that Scott had returned home clearly entering into the conversation between Logan and Charles. Rising to his feet Logan attempted to find a way to salvage the situation now that worry carried over him, "what are you doing here? I thought you were at the office and…"

"Meeting's over," Scott took a firm step down from the foyer, entering into the living room to glare over at his mentor, "and so is this. I don't know what you're doing, but it stops now. You aren't taking him from me again. Logan's not going anywhere."

"Scott, I wasn't trying to suggest that he was, but rather…" Charles offered up a polite smile.

"But nothing," Scott's jaw flexed with anger, his fingers twisting at his sides in the moment, "Logan's every bit as much a part of my life as I am now, so if you can't accept that…"

"Scott, it's okay," Logan reached out to touch Scott's arm gently.

"No," Scott's words sent a ripple of vibration through the room when he tore his arm away from Logan's reach, "it's not ok and if he can't handle the way things are, then he has no place here."

"Scott, that's not what I'm…" Charles attempted to explain himself when Scott's eyes flashed with an uncharacteristic anger. "What you walked in on…?"

"I know what I walked in on and I'm not going to sit back and allow it. Logan's a part of my life so for you to even consider eliminating him from it again…" Scott marched further into the room, unable to hold back on the rage burning inside of him. "In case Marie didn't tell you Logan and I are married now, which means we aren't going to be separating anytime soon."

"Married," Charles repeated with an uneasiness in his voice. He looked between Logan and Scott before attempting to recover.

"I guess you don't know everything yet, do you," Scott smirked defiantly, his blue eyes reaching out to the man he'd viewed as a father figure for years.

"He knows Scott," Logan spoke up quietly, "He's well aware of what we did and what we've been up to with one another."

"In that case, there shouldn't be any room for debate on the subject," Scott sneered in response, his jaw flexed and prepared for a fight if need be, "Anything that I experience Logan's going to experience it with me. That's how a partnership is supposed to work."

"Scott, right now you really don't have to…" Logan started unable to hold back on the uneasiness in his voice. He curled his hand around Scott's wrist again, attempting to pull him from the moment of anger with Charles.

"Yes, I do. He might not respect my decisions at the school any longer, but he's sure as hell going to respect me in my own home when…" Scott opened his mouth preparing to lash out at Charles all over again when the candy dish on the coffee table began to spin around like a top going faster and faster with each breath Scott took.

"I didn't come here to fight with you Scott, but rather I'd hoped we could discuss something rather important," Charles looked over Scott's shoulder to Logan then down at the candy dish seeing the energy it was collecting with Scott's anger, "It's something that I had hoped we could work ourselves into, but I see now that there really isn't going to be a choice in the matter. To do this, however, Scott you're going to need to try to relax."

"Don't try to tell me what to do," Scott snarled, his voice darkening with the bitterness he'd fought to suppress in dealing with his anger towards Charles. "You come into our home, into our happiness and then you start trying to order Logan around. I may have sat idle and allowed you to push my buttons for years, but no more. I refuse to stand back and live in compliance any longer."

"That's not what I'm…" Charles explained with heavy emphasis.

"I know what I just saw," Scott's fury radiated through the room causing the walls to shake with an unmatchable force. Charles stood up taller, his eyes widening with surprise when the lights overhead started to flicker on and off in a frenzy.

"Scott," Logan attempted to appeal to him, to pull him from the madness that surrounded him when there was a crashing sound from inside of the kitchen.

"I'm tired of being manipulated-of having everyone else determine what's best for me when…." Scott's arms stretched out, his lip curving downward in a scowl when Charles took a bold step forward.

"Scott, I realize that you can't necessarily control this-that you can't explain what's happening, but I know the truth," Charles blurted out suddenly, his words firm and commanding when he stood his ground before Scott. "I have the answers that you've been seeking out and if you'd just listen…"

"Why should I trust anything you have to say?" Scott questioned with a snarl, his eyes darkening in the moment.

"Because it's the truth," Charles offered up desperately using his powers to step into Scott's mind, to try to soothe the rage that was burning inside of him, "it's what I should've given you from the start, but I took the coward's way out. I was wrong for withholding all of this from you Scott, but I want to make amends. I want to make this right for us."

 _"This is just another trick-another manipulation…"_ the inner voice within Scott argued with Charles. The darkness inside of Scott pushed to the surface challenging his old mentor.

 _"You're right it is,"_ Charles agreed as Logan stood watching the silent exchange between the two men. The floor vibrated with a rush of power, with an unspeakable rage when Charles continued to appeal to Scott, _"but it's not from me. I'm not the one who brought this upon us Scott. If you'd only just listen to the truth, then I can assure you we'll work through this together."_

 _"You can't take Logan away from me again. I remember everything,"_ Scott lashed out at him again within the walls of their subconscious link, _"I know what you took from me…"_

 _"Now isn't the time to travel down that road,"_ Charles explained fighting to keep the link between him and Scott open.

"Whatever you have to say I'm not interested," Scott remarked stubbornly severing the link between him and Charles. A scowl carried over his features, his eyes falling to darkness with his gaze centered in on Charles. "I'm certain that…"

"Now is the time for truth and answers about Jean, about what happened to you, but if I'm going to do that, then you're going to have to fight this. You're going to have to see that working yourself up to this isn't going to solve anything. It's only going to make matters worse considering that…" Charles offered up tentatively. He braced himself for Scott's reaction, listening to the frantic sound of the candy dish splashing pieces of candy onto the table around it, growing faster with each rotation until finally it came to an abrupt, screeching halt sliding off of the coffee table.

"Where is she?" Scott demanded taking a step in closer to Charles. "What's happened to her?"

"I don't know," Charles replied seeing the anger return to Scott's features, "I don't know where she is now, but I can tell you where she's been…what they did to her…"

"So she's alive?" Scott questioned his features softening at the mention of his former lover, "Who is they? What have they done with her? Where is she now?"

"I don't know that Scott," Charles took in a nervous breath, his blue eyes shifting between Logan and Scott before he spoke up in a smooth and even tone, "Whatever has happened since you and Logan found me at that facility is blocking some of my powers. I've tried to seek her out even with Cerebro, but I've come up empty…."

"She saved me that night I almost died, didn't she? It was really her?" Scott couldn't help, but seek out validation in the question. His blue eyes returned to normal, his posture loosening and face softening despite the confusion that carried over him. "She was behind that, wasn't she?"

"I don't know Scott," Charles sighed heavily. Tension creased over his brow as he rubbed his palms together, "I wish that I could supply you with those answers, but right now I'm unable to provide you with a clear and concise response to your questions. What I can give you, however, is the truth about things that I have been withholding from you Scott. I realize in doing so that you may never forgive me for my actions, but you must know that everything I've ever done it's been for your well being. It's been because I've wanted to protect you and keep you safe."

"Keeping me from the truth hasn't saved me," Scott shivered as Logan moved in closer to him, "It's only prolonged the agony I've been in."

"I realize that and seeing the hold that Phoenix and the past has upon you," Charles motioned to the broken dish and discarded candy on the floor, "I think it's time for you to understand before it's too late."

xxxxx

Logan stood beside Scott, sensing Scott's discord and turmoil in his exchange with Charles. While Logan had felt like an outsider looking in on most of it, his instincts were on overload, keeping him close enough to protect Scott if need be against Charles or even himself should the situation escalate. However, with the mention of Jean and Phoenix, Logan suddenly felt himself on edge even more so knowing that things were about to change for them dramatically.

"Phoenix?" Scott repeated eyeing Charles suspiciously, "why would you say that that…?"

"Your rage, your passion, the impulsive nature to run into recklessness. It's not who you are, who you've always been, but rather it's all a part of her Scott," Charles continued in a smooth, neutral tone, devoid of the fear that had surrounded him when Scott had been immersed in his anger, "Even with what Stryker did to you, this goes beyond all of that. It's found it's way to take what they did all those years ago and it's creating something inside of you, changing you…"

"Because of Jean?" Scott blinked back at Charles, feeling a heaviness in his chest over the validation he was seeking out in learning he wasn't crazy.

"Jean can't control this," Charles moved around in the living room taking a seat in one of the chairs. He nodded to Logan and Scott motioning for them to do the same. Reluctantly both men complied to his unspoken command, taking a seat on the couch facing him with questioning eyes. He inhaled sharply before meeting Scott's eyes again, "and neither can you. Not on your own."

"What's happening to me?" Scott asked with an uneasiness in his voice. His fears began revealing themselves as Logan placed his hand down on Scott's thigh, lacing his fingers in Scott's. "What is she doing to me?"

"She's using what Stryker put inside of you all those years ago to seek out what she lost," Charles explained poignantly, guilt overriding his features, "to reclaim what she feels is rightfully hers."

"Me?" Scott questioned with a wounded expression on his face, "Is this because I've hurt her? Because I've…?"

"No, this goes beyond you and Jean," Charles hesitated before glancing over at Logan, "It goes beyond the three of you now that there is another involved."

"Another?" Scott tipped his head to the side giving Charles a long look. "What other?"

"It's about seeking out what she knows she lost-what she hopes to reclaim again in your son," Charles finally blurted out, unable to hold back on the truth any longer.

"Son?" Scott and Logan blurted out in unison, both off guard with Charles declaration.

"What are you talking about? What son?" Scott questioned wrinkling his nose at Charles. "I don't have a son…"

"Yes, yes you do," Charles took in a deep breath, his eyes returning to Logan once again, "and I should've told you about him sooner. I was wrong to think that I could keep this from you for as long as I have."

Charles cleared his throat before speaking up again wearily, "From the start I was never comfortable with the decision, but the more I thought about what Jean experienced, about what Phoenix was capable of I was under the misguided assumption that in keeping him away it would protect him from those who meant him harm and…"

"Wait a second," Scott blinked back at Charles, "I don't know what you're talking about. Charles, you're not making any sense…"

"I realize this is a shock to you Scott, but…" Charles opened his mouth again, preparing to say something more when Scott shook his head in refusal.

"This is crazy. First you're saying Phoenix is after me-that she's using me for some kind of twister purpose, but now you're talking about a son that I have when I know that's not possible. I don't…" Scott let out a nervous laugh, blinking twice before turning his attention to Charles again, "I would know if I had a…"

"His son," Logan blurted out squeezing Scott's fingers in his own before thinking about his earlier conversation with Charles, "as in he's still alive?"

Charles nodded remorsefully, "He's alive and well. I was waiting for the right time to do this considering that Scott's been through so much, but now…"

"He's alive," Logan let out a breath of relief with his worries pouring out from within at the moment.

"I'm not following. What's going on here?" Scott looked between the two men. "What aren't you both telling me?"

"Scott, you and Jean have a son together," Charles explained after a momentary pause, "When Jean sacrificed herself to save us she was pregnant."

"What?" Scott blinked back at him. "No…that's not possible…there's no way that…"

"She'd recently happened upon the news," Charles continued gently, trying to break the news to Scott in a smooth, even voice, "She hadn't told any of us, but I felt it when she was out there helping us escape. I tried to convince her to return to us, but Phoenix wouldn't have it."

"I don't understand…" Scott blinked back at Charles once again. "Is this some kind of sick joke? There's no way that Jean was…"

"She was pregnant with your child Scott, but she wasn't able to share the news with you before everything happened with Stryker. When she discovered the truth so many things happened that…" Charles began in a smooth and even voice, hoping to break the news to Scott in attempt to be as painlessly delicate as possible.

"Jean wasn't pregnant," Scott shook his head firmly thinking back to that time in his life, "I would've known if she was having my baby. She would have told me if she thought there was a possibility that we could've been…no, there's no way that we were… I mean yes, we were together, but we were distanced from one another for a while before she…"

"No you weren't," Logan spoke up in an attempt to help Scott process the news Charles had delivered him. "You both might've had a tension between you, but there was a time right before I left that…"

"What?" Scott turned around to face Logan fully. His face dropped with uneasiness, tension cutting over his jaw line creasing his brow when his eyes searched Logan's for a long moment, "How did you know that we…?"

"You were engaged to each other when I arrived Scott. I know the two of you had a relationship with one another long before I entered your life," Logan squeezed his leg once again, "To think that the two of you weren't…"

"Logan, there were a lot of things that I was confused about with Jean, but that night…" Scott stopped himself closing his eyes as his guilt carried over him.

"It doesn't matter how it came to be, but what came of it was a child," Logan hesitated drawing in a breath, "She wrote about it in her journal. She talked about a night when you were together after you and I were fighting. How after you came back the both of you…"

"I was so wound up that night. I was so upset after everything that happened with you and I fighting that…," Scott's face drained of color in the moment. Closing his eyes he was surrounded by the memory of the night Logan had caused him to lose control of his senses. He could recall returning to Jean-remember the way he'd simply wanted to prove to himself that loving her was where he was meant to be. That night he'd thrown caution to the wind and given in to temptation, succumbed himself to the lust he'd felt for Logan by offering himself to Jean.

"Despite what happened at the lake," Charles interrupted offering up consolation in Scott's moment of realization, "She was able to save your child-to keep your son alive in spite of the circumstances that surrounded her and now…"

"I…I don't understand," Scott attempted to process what Charles and Logan were saying to him, "How could I have not felt that she was…?"

"Things were complicated when Jean discovered she was pregnant," Charles took in an uneasy breath, "As you said the both of you were alienated from one another. In that distance you both started on different paths, but…"

"But what?" Scott questioned trying to process what he'd been told, "Why wouldn't she tell me? I was there when she made the sacrifice. I tried to help her. I wanted to go back out for her because I didn't want to leave her like that. I couldn't allow her to die like that even though I now know she was able to save herself, but to think that she was…"

"You and Jean had a strong connection with one another despite what you'd been experiencing in your relationship," Charles divulged with an uneasiness in his voice. "When Phoenix took over she was well aware of the link between the both of you. She'd thought to use it to her advantage after the wall in Jean's mind began to crumble. It was a gradual process chipping away at Jean through the years. However, it wasn't until after your time at Liberty Island that Phoenix began to work on remerging."

"Even so with Jean and her nightmares…" Scott pondered aloud remembering his time with Jean before they'd lost her.

"They were a combination of Phoenix trying to break free and Jean's subconscious dealing with the pregnancy," Charles took in a breath, "When Jean sacrificed herself, she did it of the noblest of intentions as I told Logan before. She wanted to set you free Scott-to allow you the happiness to move forward in your life with what you wanted. However, in the midst of her selfless act Phoenix was able to break free and consume her."

"Wait, a second. So you're saying that not only was Jean aware that she was pregnant before she sacrificed herself, but that she had no intentions of telling me?" Scott took in the words he'd been delivered. A knee jerk reaction built in his gut at the weight of knowing Jean had suppressed the truth about his child from him, "She was planning on keeping this from me because she wanted to set me free? Because she didn't feel I would make a good father to our son?"

"Scott no," Charles cleared his throat with an uneasiness in his voice.

"No? She didn't say a word to me! She said nothing," Scott snapped in response, feeling an overwhelming combinations of emotions carry through him.

"She tried to Scott, but things were difficult and…" Charles attempted to explain Jean's reasoning.

"Difficult? Too difficult to tell me that I was going to be a father?" Scott questioned letting out an angry, ironic laugh, "Are you telling me that after everything she and I have been through together that she believed I would what? Just abandon them? Did she really think so little of me that she was going to toss our child's life away on a whim like that?"

"Scott," Logan squeezed his leg again, feeling Scott tense up beside him.

"No Logan. I think I have a right to hear the whole, ugly truth here and now," Scott frowned focusing on Charles again, "So tell me, was this her way of hurting me or did she think me so weak that I wouldn't do everything in my power to be there for them in any way she needed me? That somehow I would forget my promise to stand by her and that I would turn away from my responsibilities to her and our child?"

"She saw that you'd turned to Logan," Charles noted somberly unable to maintain eye contact with either Scott or Logan.

"Regardless, you know damn well that I never would've walked away from Jean when she needed me. If she was pregnant with my child, then I would have…" Scott stopped himself when Logan pulled his hand away from Scott's thigh, bringing a quiet distance between them. The room was spinning, thoughts running wild in Scott's head clouded by surprise, betrayal and anger in realizing what had been taken from him. His fury with Jean was matched by his own inner guilt in not seeing that she was pregnant, yet in seeing Logan beside him looking increasingly uncomfortable Scott took in a breath, trying to plan his words before Charles spoke up again.

"No Scott, that's not it that all. What she was doing at the time…Jean acted on impulse wanting to protect and save us all, but Phoenix," Charles hesitated an uneasiness carrying over him, "She was filled with a much darker motivation. When she took over Jean in those moments outside the jet, she was consumed with rage and anger. The weight of her madness overtook logic in Jean and Phoenix was hell bent on punishing you and Logan for how she'd felt that you'd deceived her. She wanted to break you and she'd planned on using your son to make it happen…"

"So you're saying Jean was going to kill our child because she was upset that I…?" Scott's questioned painfully with the weight of realization taking it's toll upon him.

"No, Jean fought to save your boy Scott. It was Phoenix who was consumed with wrath. In those few, fleeting moments outside the jet Phoenix did her best to unleash her vengeance. She was eager to make you suffer, but Jean was able to overpower her dark half. Somehow Jean was able to regain control of herself long enough to save herself and your child Scott. She was able to defeat Phoenix momentarily in order to protect your child. In suppressing Phoenix she was able to cocoon herself in the lake, doing her best to ensure your child's safety," Charles answered rubbing his palms together before continuing, "Although it might not have been enough to sustain the pregnancy if it hadn't been for what happened to her once Stryker's men found her."

"Stryker's men," Logan's eyes widened with surprise when he pulled himself out of the uneasy silence that surrounded him.

"But I thought that…" Scott blurted out remembering his last exchange with Jean at the lake.

"There were a few who had made it out of the situation unscathed," Charles explained answering the question that was on the tip of Scott's tongue. "They returned to the remains of the facility and discovered Jean. At the time she was weakened in her condition and they used that to their advantage. Although it pains me to say this because I know it's the last thing any of us want to be hearing right now Jean was the subject of experimentation after they'd pulled her from the wreckage. What she endured at their hands weakened her and…"

"They tortured her?" Scott choked up on his words feeling a fury settle in the pit of his stomach in having his worst fears confirmed about what had taken place with Jean. Before it was a speculation on his end on what had happened to her, but in hearing Charles confirm his suspicions his heart stank, "They hurt her?"

Charles nodded poignantly, "I'm afraid so Scott. If I had only known what was happening…"

"How could you not know?" Scott questioned incredulously, unable to mask the anger inside of him. "It was your job to look after us, to protect us when push came to shove. Jean sacrificed herself to try to save us, yet…"

"They suppressed my powers Scott. After everything that happened, I couldn't reach her. I couldn't feel her out there," Charles replied somberly, "The barrier they put up was too strong, but if I had any idea what was happening to her, then you know we would've done anything in our power to save her."

"But we didn't and they tortured her," Scott blurted out with an uneasy breath, "She risked everything…put her and my child's life on the line to ensure we were safe and we left her to be victimized. No wonder she's full of such rage and anger. If they hurt her…"

"We never would've willingly put her in that situation," Charles added somberly, "You know how much I care for Jean. If there was any way I could've spared her that misery…"

"Like you tried to spare me of it?" Scott's words were laced with a growing animosity.

"Scott," Logan spoke up again sensing the anger surrounding Scott in his moment of fury and comprehension of what Jean must've endured.

"No," Scott shook his head firmly, "that shouldn't have happened to her. I don't care what Phoenix was doing to her. She never should've been in that situation to begin with. How could she have been taken? She's always been so strong…she's been…"

"It was beyond her control Scott," Charles answered sympathetically.

"Why didn't she just fight back?" Logan blurted out with a snarl, "Knowing the power she's capable of she could've easily taken them down and…"

"She gave everything she had into saving herself and her child at the lake," Charles answered with a slow exhale, "By the time they found her she was weak, drained mentally and physically, but when Strkyer's people learned that she was pregnant they decided they wanted to keep her around. They kept her physically strong enough to be able to sustain the pregnancy through until the end, but they'd also had her caged within their prison-locked away inside of herself so that she couldn't fight back."

"No!" Scott snapped pushing off of the couch and pacing around the room, "No, none of this should've happened to her. We should've been able to find her. We were a team-a family…"

"Scott, I know this is hard to discuss," Charles hesitated before exchanging glanced with Logan, "If you'd prefer that we stop for now, we can so that…"

"No," Scott shook his head furiously before turning to look at his mentor once again, "I need to know what happened to her…to my son."

"I'm afraid it's not something any of us want to rehash," Charles added poignantly, "As I said before if I would've known, I would've fought to find a way to spare Jean the agony she endured. During her time in captivity they worked to break her sprit, to torture her mind in unspeakable ways. Time and time again the things she was subjected to wore her down, caused her inner demons to resurface all over again. In her captivity Phoenix was able to work towards taking control of her mind. They thought they were keeping her in line with their torture, but really they were…"

"Allowing the madness inside of her to grow and take over," Scott finished at the realization. He looked to Charles again. "They wanted to keep her at bay, but Jean's too strong for that. Phoenix is too powerful and…"

"Your child gave her strength as well Scott," Charles explained further, "Knowing that you were the father Stryker's people were elated. Given what you endured at their hands it seems they were hoping for…"

"Validation that their torture methods had paid off in creating a something they could control and shape to their bidding," Scott finished with a horrified expression thinking back to what he'd endured in his youth, "What they subjected me to in strengthening me-in trying to control my powers…"

"It was of great interest to them. Jean tried to fight them off, but they'd overpowered her physically. They nurtured her in ways that your son would thrive through the duration of the pregnancy, but beyond that they tortured her mind. They fed into her fears and gave her images to torment her mind, to keep her locked inside of herself. I don't know how Stryker or his people were able to possess that kind of power, but they found a way. They were able to break Jean down to the core, eating away at everything inside of her that was desperately grasping to hold onto reality. However, in provoking her madness, they had no idea what would come of their methods when Phoenix retaliated once they'd broken Jean."

Charles paused drawing heavy emphasis to his words, "When your son was born they stole him from Jean. They lead her to believe he'd died in childbirth. I'd seen as much inside of her head after Logan had discovered her at the lake. It was at that time I caught glimpses of what she'd endured. I discovered how they had manipulated her subconscious, how they left her at the height of her misery to deal with the grief and loss they lead her to believe surrounded her. I tried to help her Scott. I wanted to take that pain away from her, to help her, but I couldn't. It was then in those moments of despair that Phoenix reemerged, furious and ready for vengeance against the world she'd felt betrayed her. Jean succumbed to depression, but Phoenix wanted to reclaim what was rightfully hers in reclaiming her freedom again. She could sense they'd deceived her-that their explanation to your son's 'death' didn't add up. She was lead by the belief that they had stolen her life and she wanted to make them pay."

"But if Phoenix was in control, then why didn't she find him? Why couldn't she escape?" Logan questioned taking in the story Charles was telling him. "After we found her I watched her level at least fifty men in the height of madness so…"

"They still had her held captive, trapped inside of herself despite her ever growing power," Charles tipped his head to the side and nodded towards Scott, "which is why she started trying to reach out to you. She remembered the link that you and Jean had forged with one another all those years ago. She knew that in her condition she wasn't going to be able to break free on her own, so she was hoping to enlist your help by having Jean call to you, begging you to rescue her over and over again."

"My nightmares," Scott noted with a tiny shiver overtaking his senses.

"They were her way of reaching out to you, of trying to pull you back in. It was her way of having you help her find the child, to have you save her in coming to her," Charles added after a moment's hesitation, "Unfortunately you weren't able to be given the message clearly because Jean's ability to reach you was suppressed at the time, unable to be shared with you. She wanted to alert you to the fact that she was still out there-that your child had been taken, but she wasn't strong enough to conjure up anything more than disturbing, scattered images. She was fighting a war within herself and the world around her when you began to experience the torment Scott. The nightmares were manifestations brought on by Jean's anguish and the rage within Phoenix. By the time Jean would've been able to save herself it would've been too late. They knew that the longer they kept her, the stronger she would become, so they discarded her once they had secured your son."

"Discarded her how?" Scott questioned wearily, his mind returning to what he knew of the people who had held him captive in his youth. "What happened to Jean?"

"They knew she wasn't controllable, so they banished her to the depths of Alkali Lake again figuring she would do herself in after they'd broken her, but they weren't successful in their plan. Phoenix had her survival instincts kick in over once they'd discarded Jean and she was able to cocoon herself again, keeping herself tucked away until you went seeking her out," Charles continued to recount the details of the journey Jean had taken to returning. "They had hoped to kill her and suppress her powers by banishing her to the depths of the water, but in her hibernation she was one step ahead of them. She honed in on you Scott, using your connection to free her. She needed your powers to emerge again. She used you to help her reclaim her strength and once she was freed she was prepared to unleash her fury on the world around her."

"She tried to destroy me at the lake," Scott stated plainly, his voice devoid of his thoughts or emotions in the moment of reflection, "When I went to her, she kept calling to me, torturing me until…"

"Until you gave her what she wanted and once she had it, she felt she had no use for you," Charles finished understanding Scott's pain. "She was consumed with madness, ready to tear you to pieces, but Jean didn't want that. Jean couldn't destroy you Scott and in those few minutes she was able to save you. She knew that she was out of control and that fighting it would be futile, but she couldn't allow Phoenix to take you from this world Scott. In draining you of your powers, she was able to offer up a transfer of sorts, a momentum shift where you would lose your powers temporarily, but ultimately you would regain even more than she'd taken. The wall I put up inside of your head would be erased bringing back what I had tried to protect you from after that last time. She was able to tap into that so that the changes you're experiencing right now are a direct result of the exchange and…"

"What they did to me in Stryker's lab," Scott finished knowingly before sinking back onto the couch beside Logan once again. "They had planned on using it against me all along, weren't they?"

"I won't pretend to understand their logic or reasoning Scott, but you were of great interest to them and knowing of your," Charles paused giving Logan a brief glance, "situation with Logan, it seemed that things were falling into place for them. Jean was able to learn of their agenda while in captivity and she used it to her advantage. She believed that you would survive what Phoenix threw at you-that you would be able to engage in the power transfer and emerge from it stronger with time."

"How?" Logan questioned taking in what Charles was saying to them.

"Given the nature of your relationship with Logan," Charles began directing the answer at Scott instead of Logan, "your healing abilities were heightened and you were left with greater adaptive powers and abilities. She knew that even without Logan, over time you would be able to channel those new powers into finding your son and saving him from the same fate that you both had endured."

"So wait…?" Scott sat up straighter, taking in his mentor's words, "Jean stripped me of my powers knowing that Logan and I were together because she'd realized that our being together would make me stronger? That somehow she knew that I would survive what happened because he and I had been…"

"If you knew all that after we located Jean, then why didn't you tell me that Scott was still out there?" Logan demanded with a snarl. "Why let us all believe he was dead?"

"I wasn't aware of her motivations regarding Scott until after she attacked me Logan," Charles met Logan's disapproving eyes. "While I had been able to see the truth in how Jean was held captive and lead to believe she'd lost her child, everything else wasn't made clear until much later. I had no knowledge of what had taken place with Scott, let alone knowing that he was still alive. When you returned with his glasses like you did…"

"You assumed the worst," Scott's jaw flexed with tension, "You'd just as soon believed I was nothing more than a ghost."

"I tried to seek you out on Cerebro," Charles divulged quietly, "I found nothing. Jean revealed nothing as to what happened to you at the time. Her mind was like a jigsaw puzzled scattered and in need of sorting out. Everything I know now came from what I learned much later. At the time we lost you I truly believed she'd destroyed you."

"And when you learned she didn't?" Logan arched a speculative brow.

"It was already too late to reach any of you," Charles looked between the both of them, "As I said before I discovered the truth in Jean's actions much later when I was held captive. In regard to Scott, I later learned that although Phoenix was in control of most of what Jean experienced in the facility, she was able to discover what Stryker's agenda had been with you Scott. Armed with that knowledge along with the knowing you and Logan were involved, she deduced it would be the key to saving you from Phoenix in the height of madness. She felt you would recover and be able to stop Stryker's men. What she didn't plan on, however, was you losing sight of yourself in the process. She hadn't anticipated that the powers would lie dormant for as long as they did when you were out here, losing time and any semblance of what you truly are."

"So despite her fighting herself she was planning on me saving our son? On my finding him when she couldn't?" Scott deduced in between breaths.

Charles nodded, "Jean's faith in you was unwavering even after the hurt you caused one another. She believed in you."

"Believed in me," Scott repeated somberly, "because she wanted me to rescue our son before they could hurt him. Before they could…"

"How do you know all of this?" Logan couldn't help, but ask with an air of skepticism in his tone. "As you pointed out when we found Jean at the lake her mind was in shambles. She was clearly in no position to show you all of that especially where Scott was concerned when…"

"Her mind had a great many walls crumbling in it when I tried to reach her," Charles nodded in response, "but I was able to catch flashes of it. As I said before it wasn't until later that things became much clearer for me."

"How much later?" Logan couldn't help, but ask.

"After Jean's passing, she was taken back to another one of Stryker's facilities," Charles informed him with solemn expression. "It was where we were all taken after everything happened. When Phoenix tried to destroy me, I was able to channel myself into another place where I was able to save myself. I was at a hospital until they came for me as well and…"

"And what?" Scott questioned.

"It wasn't until I was taken that I started to see what was happening. I was lost, trapped inside myself as well until I awakened in the facility," Charles continued. "It wasn't until much later that I learned they had Jean once again. They'd contemplated destroying her, but they'd found new, more accurate methods for controlling her. They kept her on a short leash, realizing that when your son was unresponsive to what they had wanted to see in him they reunited them briefly. They allowed her to get closer to him, to bring them together in captivity in the hopes that forging a bond with one another would work as a catalyst in drawing out his powers."

"Powers," Scott repeated with wide eyes, "What powers?"

"They weren't sure what to expect with him Scott, but given her strength and yours they were anticipating a mutant unlike any other the world had experienced before. Unlike the rest of us, they believed they could control him from the beginning, raising him in their own way from the start in order to fulfill Stryker's purpose. Of course their plans were thwarted when your son was unresponsive to their methods. They realized that he would need nurturing, someone to bond with and when they reintroduced him to Jean, they'd hoped that it would ignite something within for both of them that they could work with."

"Work with," Logan repeated with a shudder.

"The same people who tortured me were experimenting on my son," Scott's jaw flexed with tension, anger surging through his veins.

"They'd hoped when he and Jean were reunited that they would forge a bond with one another that would prove useful for them. However, after a series of experiments on Jean, Phoenix reemerged causing all hell to break loose. Unlike Jean, she realized that she had no real interest in motherhood. She was surrounded by rage and animosity, wanting nothing more than to eradicate any traces of Jean while waging war on those she'd felt had wronged her. She returned to that primitive state where nothing, but instinct mattered to her. Your child was of no interest to her once she was consumed for a thirst for madness. Upon realizing that she was no longer controllable, they separated her and your son hoping to keep her at bay. They ran more experiments on her hoping to channel her rage into the destruction of our kind, constantly attempting to cage her from within, but all they did was serve to enrage her further."

"Just like what happened before," Logan shuddered thinking about what Charles was saying, "Someone was pulling Jean's strings and…"

"They were hoping to eradicate us," Charles interrupted with a nod, "It was during that time that Magneto crossed paths with Jean. He and I had been held separately in captivity for a long period of time, forced to endure their unscrupulous methods again and again without any hope of fighting back. They had preyed upon our fears, hoping to destroy us and when Erik began to fight back, they pulled him aside hoping to find other means of breaking him. It was during that time that he'd first encountered your son. He was immediately drawn to the boy and soon after he came face to face with Jean."

"Magneto's been with my son and Jean?" Scott questioned with wide eyes, "But how…?"

"Upon realizing Jean was still alive, Erik realized what they'd done to her. He'd been at the other end of the spectrum before having endured the horrors of madmen. Seeing the aftermath of it in Jean, he tried to reach her, to pull her from the torture she'd endured. He had seen the error of his ways in exploiting her powers in the past and wanted to make up for that."

"So now you're trying to say Magneto was filled with some kind of conscience?" Logan remarked sourly, "I don't buy that for a second."

"Erik endured a great many personal tragedies that shaped the man he has become," Charles snapped back at him, his eyes filled with an unspoken warning, "While I don't agree with his methods or his ideologies, I have seen his beginnings. I have experienced his pain and torment and I know of the demons he has never been able to shake from that time in his life. At heart he is far from the cold, calculating man that you've witnessed time and time again. His bitterness and prejudice is a direct result of what he endured at the whim of men like the ones who had tortured Jean. In seeing what they had done to her and your child, it triggered something in him. It brought him back to a time when he had lost his own mother at the hands of madmen. His regret for how he'd caused things to escalate for our kind consumed him, filled him with remorse. When Jean reached out to him, she made a desperate plea for him to help her. She was weak and barely holding on to herself in the internal fight, but she was able to plead with him to help your son-to keep them from destroying him or turning him into a monster. Erik promised that he would do just that and he vowed to make things right again. He and Jean forged a bond with one another and he tried to help her. He wanted to save her, but without his powers he was helpless as well."

"So you're saying Jean turned to Magneto for help?" Scott questioned with confusion in his voice. "She went to our enemy to seek out solace?"

"He isn't our enemy," Charles corrected, "He's just been horribly misguided and…"

"I've seen what he can do. We all have and we know what he's capable of," Logan couldn't help, but frown, "to say that he's changed…"

"You of all people should understand what internal torment can do to a man Logan. It takes you to a very dark place, one that it's often hard to return from when you've been pushed to your limit. Erik entered into darkness, but in finding Jean when he did, it changed him. It reminded him of the man he once was before the bitterness engulfed him," Charles defended his one time companion.

"So he was going to help her?" Scott returned to their conversation. "You said he promised her…"

Charles nodded, "He tried. With all that he was he had hoped to find a way to save her. She made him promise that he would find a way to reach out to you, to let you know about your son so that if all else failed you could save him. He vowed to do just that and help her in the process, but they were separated. He wasn't able to free her from their cage when they brought him to where I was. When he found me everything was hazy. I can't recall everything from that time, but he told me when he found me that I was in no shape to comprehend who I was let alone what was happening with Jean. I wasn't myself and Erik stood beside me helping me regain clarity from within. He found a way to work towards helping me build up my strength, to work forward without my powers. It was a struggle to reclaim my sense of identity and comprehend what was happening around me, but over time he was able to break through to me, to remind me of who I was and where I came from. Eventually he told me about Jean and your son. We had planned on seeking them out when we were strong enough to fight back. Without my powers I couldn't seek her out and without his, we were trapped, unable to escape the walls of the fortress we were in. It didn't stop us from planning our escape, however."

Charles paused, a lump of emotion overtaking him in the moment, "Perhaps their biggest mistake was in allowing Erik and I to be captive with one another, but ultimately we were able to find a way to outwit them. We were about to make our escape and it almost worked. I found Jean, but she was too far gone for me to reach her. She no longer carried any semblance of herself. Phoenix had consumed her, leaving no trace of the woman she once was. They had found a way to control her, to manipulate her powers to their advantage. I don't know how they did it, but she was under their rule, forced to react on impulse. They lead her to believe I was a threat-that somehow I was there to destroy her, so she felt she had no other choice, but to kill or be killed."

Charles hesitated, his fingers trembling involuntary as he spoke up behind uneasy words, "Our attempt at escape was thwarted shortly after I'd found Jean. To serve as a punishment for our behavior, Erik and I were separated. I had no knowledge of what was happening to him, but with me, well, they'd prompted another confrontation between Jean and I. Although I scarcely had anything left in me with my powers barely returned to me, they forced us to engage in a battle of the minds with her lashing out. Her power tore into me and in the height of her madness she shattered what little control I had left. I was too weak to fight her. She was acting upon their orders when she ripped into my subconscious and placed me in that comatose state I was in when you discovered me at the facility Scott. They used her to trap me within the confines of my body, keeping me caged as they had done with her until you and Erik located me once again."

"And after that?" Logan couldn't help, but ask.

"I saw in those few minutes with Phoenix the truth in what I hadn't known before. For a brief, fleeting second I could feel traces of Jean lingering, but it wasn't until we returned to the school again that I realized a part of her had to have kept Phoenix from destroying me as well. She could've easily crushed me in my weakened condition, but somehow she must've taken pity upon me and spared me in our battle. I firmly believe that's why I can walk again, why my powers are returning to me and…"

"But they aren't what they once were?" Scott noted giving him another long look.

"I'm afraid they aren't," Charles added somberly, "Unlike the gifts she's given you Scott, mine are rather limited serving as a handicap in some ways to prevent me from doing what I did before. I'm unable to seek out the answers we've all been needing since our return to civilization."

"And Jean?" Logan couldn't help, but questioned. "What happened to her?"

"I don't know," Charles admitted, "when I was comatose and incapacitated Erik had heard stories of how she'd been taken away from the facility. Some of the other prisoners claimed she'd been destroyed while others felt she'd escaped, that somehow she'd been able to free herself with her rage as her companion. Armed with anger Phoenix is unstoppable as we've all seen, so while I have no doubt in my mind that she had the capability to escape if she was strong enough to break free of their chains, the truth is I won't ever know what happened unless we find her. Neither Erik nor I could find a definitive answer in what happened to her other than that she wasn't there when you both arrived at the facility. I know there was an attack before Scott arrived-that half of the men who had been working for Stryker's cause wound up slaughtered. Erik had heard whispers of that much from where he'd been held captive, but as for any concrete proof…"

"She could be out there, terrified and confused, trapped inside of herself and unable to fight Phoenix," Scott deduced with a shudder, "Jean could be desperate for our help, yet…"

"You're the only link any of us have to her Scott if she's still out there," Charles blurted out with an uneasiness in his tone, "and given the drastic steps she's taking to eradicate any trace of Jean, it's entirely possible that your son could become her next target…"

"I have to see him," Scott decided unable to hold back on his tension any longer. He rose to his feet, pacing around the room before turning to face Charles fully, "Where is he?"

"He's safe," Charles explained taking in a breath.

"Where is he?" Scott repeated, his voice rising once again with worry and frustration.

"I have him in a place where he's being cared for and protected," Charles offered up after a moment's hesitation.

"What kind of place?" Scott questioned with a tight scowl. "An orphanage?"

"No," Charles shook his head firmly, "I would never do that to your son. I'd always wanted to bring him back with me, but after everything that played out at the facility with Jean I wanted to be sure that…"

"That what?" Scott demanded an answer.

"Jean's instability and Phoenix's thirst for vengeance left your son in no position to be out there Scott. Given your link to Jean, I wouldn't put it past Phoenix to have used that to her advantage, to take you into her madness so that you could…" Charles blurted out with a frown, clearly shaken by his thoughts. "This was about protecting all of you. This was about putting your son first given the nature of the experimentation he endured at the facility."

"The facility," Scott replied looking to Charles again with a snarl, "You knew that my son was being experimented on and needed me? That he was there as a prisoner, yet you said nothing when we returned to the school?"

"There was a lot that happened during that time Scott. I knew that throwing all of this on you right away wasn't going to help anything especially in the aftermath," Charles spoke up in a neutral tone, "I was…"

"You knew I had a son out there and you said nothing. You purposely withheld that information from me," Scott let out an ironic laugh before throwing his hands up in the air. "All this time I knew you were hiding something. I could feel that you weren't being truthful with me, but now…"

"Your son was of great interest to the people who held him. They believe he'll be capable of a great many things Scott. Knowing that he belongs to you and Jean only enhanced their interest in him Scott," Charles reminded him once again, "Erik and I had no choice, but to find a way to protect him. We did what we had to in order to live up to Erik's promise to Jean to keep him safe."

"She made him promise to bring our son to me," Scott snapped back at him, "She asked for me to be with him."

"I couldn't reunite you no matter how much I wished it could happen Scott because at the time everything was up in the air. I had no idea what had been happening with you, nor what is going on with Jean. Her hold on you is dangerous as you've seen yourself over the last few months. If there was a slight chance that it could prove deadly to you or your son, then there was no way I would expose him to that kind of threat. After all he's been through surely you can understand my need to want to keep him from harm's way."

"So you hid him from me? You pretended as if he never existed? As if I didn't have a right to fatherhood?" Scott's voice cracked with anger. "You kept my boy from me…"

"I felt horrible in doing so, but it was the only way. You have no idea what kind of guilt I've been living with in trying to shield you from the truth…" Charles attempted to reason with him.

"You should've told me!" Scott snapped louder than before.

"Scott, you know yourself that you haven't been stable. Her hold on you has been dominating you. It's been consuming your thoughts, causing you to turn against the world around you…" Charles explained with an uneasiness in his voice.

"She's been telling me not to trust you-that you were a liar," Scott reminded him simply, "That I shouldn't believe in you and now in knowing this…"

"Erik and I decided that we needed to sort things out, to make sure that you weren't manipulated by her or by what you endured in the past before…" Charles interrupted hoping to reach Scott.

"You and Erik?" Scott let out a loud, angry laugh, "You let Magneto make decisions about my child's future? You let him decide that I was unfit to be my boy's father?"

"No," Charles stated firmly, "we always knew you would be a good father Scott. It was all about making sure that you were stable enough to learn the truth and do what was necessary to save your son from Phoenix. If her hold on you had consumed you, then you could've been manipulated to turning against your son and destroying him…"

"I would never…" Scott frowned at the implication, "Regardless of what's been happening to me family has always meant everything. If I knew I had a son out there…"

"I was wrong Scott and I see that now," Charles apologized, "Although proceeding with caution was what was best for all of us, perhaps I should've alerted you to the truth sooner. Had we been working together to seek out Jean and help you heal then maybe we could've avoided all of this messy situation you've been forced to endure."

"You should've let me see my son," Scott snapped back at him with a frown, "I want to be with him."

"I know you do Scott and we can make that happen, but at the same time you must understand that when I saw you were being tormented with the nightmares, with the voices in your head indicating that Phoenix was reaching into you, I felt as if I was backed into a corner. When I saw you channeling her strength-watched her doing to you what she'd attempted to do with me in the past, I feared for any possible outcome that would present itself in you knowing the truth. Erik and I have discussed this in great length, both of us concerned for what may come of this situation, but I see now that what's best for your son is to have his father protecting him. It's best for the both of you because despite our resolve to keep this a secret, I feel as if perhaps your son is the key to helping you hold onto your sanity Scott. With a new reason and purpose in the world, even with the torment Jean's bestowed upon you, I believe we can break through this."

"I want to see him. I need to be with him," Scott decided firmly, no qualms about where he belonged in the moment.

"I'm sure you do Scott and…" Charles opened his mouth to say something when Scott interrupted.

"No. I need to go be with him-to know what they did to him," Scott's voice cracked with anger.

"They didn't hurt him Scott. Their experimentation wasn't like what you and Jean endured," Charles explained rubbing his palms together nervously, "He's far too young to comprehend what he went through, so he's fine. He's a healthy, happy, young man who is optimistic about the world around him. He's got a lot of spirit about him and…"

"I want to see him," Scott decided, his voice shifting from emotional to controlled, firm and authoritative in his tone, "Does he know about me? About Jean?"

"He knows that I've promised to reunite him with his father soon," Charles nodded. "I'd been planning on taking you to him while Logan was out in search of Victor. I thought it would give you both the time to bond and…"

"Take me to him," Scott announced without hesitation, "I want to see my son."

"Scott, we still have a lot to discuss. There are things about his birth, about how he was brought into this world, about Jean that we have only touched upon today. I think in knowing the entire truth…" Charles hesitated with an uneasiness overtaking him in the moment.

"We'll get to that eventually, but right now I want to see him," worry flashed over Scott's features, "unless there's something about him that you aren't telling me. You keep saying he's fine, but the fact that you're keeping him away from me is contrary to that."

"Scott, I just think we should have you checked out before…" Charles opened his mouth in protest.

"I don't need to be checked out. I need to see my son. He needs his father," Scott paused catching the expression on Charles's face. "What aren't you telling me? Are you saying that something is wrong? That he's…."

"He's telekinetic like Jean was," Charles offered up with a small breath, "Although powers don't usually manifest in a mutant this early on your son's abilities are surprisingly strong. He's a fighter and…"

"His eyes," Scott couldn't help, but ask nervously, "what about his eyes?"

"As blue as yours are right now," Charles explained taking a step closer to Scott, "Although I suspect we're far from seeing all of his powers brought to the surface, he's in perfect health. He's a strong willed, curious boy much like you were Scott. There's so much of you inside of him and…"

"What's his name? Does he have a name?" Scott questioned allowing the reality of having a son sink inside of him, wrapping him up in a whole new world of questions.

"His name is Christopher after your father," Charles replied letting go of a long breath he'd been holding, "Jean thought you'd approve of her decision to honor your father in that way."

"Christopher," Scott repeated feeling a moment of pride swell up inside of him that thought of having a son out there in the world after all the time he'd thought family was just beyond his reach. Still in looking to Charles again, his smile faded and he returned to stoic firmness, "take me to him. I must see him now."

"I have to make a phone call," Charles explained with a quick nod, "and once our accommodations are set, we can head out to join him."

"Good," Scott nodded giving him one last look before walking out of the living room, back into the kitchen and exiting onto the back porch hoping to put his thoughts in order before his reunion with his long lost son.

XXXXX


	37. Chapter 37

Logan looked around the kitchen knowing that he should be doing something more in the moment. Charles had left to go make arrangements for a meeting with Scott and his son while Scott had exited the house needing a few minutes alone to collect his thoughts out back. Although they were a long way from finding any kind of resolution to what was currently happening with Scott's tormented psyche, Logan couldn't help, but be concerned about Scott. Knowing what kind of weight this would undoubtedly have on Scott's shoulders in learning over a short span of time that not only had Jean known the truth about Scott and Logan's attraction to one another, but that Scott had also fathered a child with his ex after she had been tortured by Stryker's people, it was a lot to take in. Logan was still trying to come to terms with everything, so he couldn't even begin to imagine what Scott must be experiencing in the moment. In hearing of Jean's torment, Logan knew full it would only re-ignite that guilt that Scott carried around with him over hurting Jean. It would break him inside, making him feel as if he'd abandoned her and put her in harm's way. Knowing he should stay inside, Logan found his concern overtaking logic when he walked to the door wall, opening it up and going out onto the back porch to join Scott. Carefully closing the door behind him, Logan moved forward feeling the sun's warm rays beating down upon him. It was a beautiful day even with the chaos, yet as Logan noticed Scott over by the edge of the deck, hands clenched over the railing with head tipped up towards the sun with his eyes closed, Logan knew that there was a lot happening with the man he loved.

"You doing alright?" Logan questioned stepping forward and bringing his arms around Scott's lean waist in an attempt to pull Scott from his silent contemplations.

"I have a son Logan," Scott replied unmoving in the moment. "I'm a father."

"I know," Logan replied quietly, keeping his own conflicting thoughts muted in the moment with Scott standing beside him.

"I treated Jean horribly, yet she and I created a life together," Scott let out a long, uneasy breath. "I hurt her and she brought my child into this world. Against the odds she fought with everything she had against herself and the world around her and because of it I have a son…"

"He's going to need you," Logan offered up feeling Scott's hand squeeze in over his fingers and urging Logan to stay beside him.

"We're going to need you too," Scott kept his eyes closed and sighed, "I'm not going to be able to do this alone."

"Of course you can do this," Logan spoke up encouragingly, "You're Scott Summers, leader of the X-men. Surely meeting your son is hardly an impossible challenge."

"I was thinking about you that night," Scott blurted out shamefully. Lowering his head, he let out a breath he'd been holding back on, "When I was with her I'd been so wrapped up in what was happening with us, that I channeled all my energy into trying to forget that I was attracted to you when…"

"Don't say it Scott," Logan interrupted firmly, refusing to allow Scott to travel back down that road again, "It doesn't matter what was happening at the time. All that's important is making it right for that little boy and…"

"I know you didn't bargain for any of this," Scott whispered quietly, his voice uncertain and full of doubt when he finally opened his eyes to see the world before him, "When I twisted your arm into committing to me, I had no idea that I'd wind up being so out of control or that I has a son out there that…"

"I know you didn't," Logan nodded reaching out to coax Scott to face him fully. Once they were standing chest to chest, Logan reached out to urge Scott's blue eyes to meet his, "I know that there are a lot of questions about things right now, but you don't have to worry about this."

"Don't I?" Scott took in a nervous breath. "Logan, I know that I've been forcing you to make a lot of decisions lately that you wouldn't be even considering if I wasn't so pushy and…"

"To be honest with you I'm actually relieved," Logan confessed after a moment's contemplation. "Earlier when I read the page in Jean's journal about her being pregnant I was so afraid that I caused your son's death-that I took you from the life you'd always been hoping for. More than anything I know how you have this whole fantasy of happily ever after despite the odds that are stacked against us in our world. I know you're a romantic who always wanted a family and…"

"I want you Logan," Scott revealed with a warmth in his voice, "I want a future with you…and my son. I want to do for him what my father was never able to do for me. I don't want him to grow up feeling alone or abandoned-an orphan like I was. I want him to live in a world where he will never know the prejudices that we have had to face. I want him to be free to be himself, to not live with the fears we've been surrounded with. I need to give him the kind of life that I never had-an opportunity to do more with his life."

"If he followed in your footsteps I hardly think that would be a disappointment. You're a great man Scott," Logan continued to encourage him further. "Yes, maybe you've been lost for a while, but when we figure out what's been happening, I know you'll leap right back into leader mode, returning to that same pain in the ass that I want to strangle half the time."

"I'm not going to be the same. Everything's changed. I've changed. I'm a father now," Scott mouthed in response, his blue eyes overtaken in a vast array of contemplations. "That turns everything around now Logan. So much is riding on the future given the kind of life that we lead. Given the things that we do in knowing that the world is trying to lead a battle against our very existence in order to make us disappear…"

"Scott," Logan opened his mouth to say something more on the subject.

"Men like William Stryker have tried to exploit us, to tear us down to pieces and force our hands against one another time and time again," Scott let out a long breath, "We fight to save the world, yet there are forces out there that would just as soon see us disappear altogether. They would work to break us in an attempt to eradicate our race and in knowing those monsters are out there-that they've been trying to program my son like they did with you and I…"

"Don't do this now Scott," Logan couldn't help, but frown sensing Scott's fears for his son's future. "Don't think like that now when we both know you've been given a gift today. Not only do you have a son, but a happy, healthy one at that. Charles said that he was perfect in every way imaginable."

"I know," Scott couldn't help, but be relieved at the thought, "and I owe all of that to Jean. She's the one who brought him into the world even when she was at war with herself."

"She's always been a fighter. I'll give her that," Logan nodded in agreement, "and maybe deep inside of her there was a part of her that knew everything would be alright once you found him. Maybe that's truly why she's been trying to reach out to us."

"Even through the madness I know Jean would want our son to be safe and protected. Knowing that he was out there away from me, it had to make her uneasy," Scott took in a small breath when tension carried over his jaw line, "Even if she's been behind what's happening to me, how can I hold that against her? Given what she's endured, I can't even begin to imagine her being able to have a grasp on her sanity. The things I know that were done to me…Logan, they've been eating away at me, tearing me apart from within…"

"Scott," Logan began with a crease in his brow.

"I've been so full of rage and anger," Scott released Logan and dropped his arms down to his sides. He clenched his fingers into fists at his side and continued to speak up, "All of these thoughts and emotions have been eating away at my subconscious filling me with this vengeance and fury. I have dreams about watching it all erupt around me. I watch as the world explodes around me becoming something out of my control. I try to fight for my sanity within the realm of the dream, but I see things that are sparked by this overwhelming anger and…"

"And what?" Logan frowned.

"I've watched it burn down all around me," Scott explained meeting Logan's eyes with a sudden seriousness, "I've witnessed the world explode all around me, tearing to pieces in my nightmares. It wasn't always that way, but now I feel the fire around me-threatening to consume me completely. It surrounds me constantly even if my dreams didn't start out that way. At first they were about the torture, but now they are darker, further away from reality in the fire that…"

"That what?" Logan questioned when Scott's jaw clenched further.

"I can't explain it Logan," Scott fought for the breath that carried over his lips, "there's something happening inside of me. I've known it for a while, but now…"

"What?" Logan questioned reaching out to touch Scott's arm when Scott revealed a tiny, involuntary shudder.

"I feel her rage. I feel the wrath burning inside of me, eating away at my logic until only a thirst for retribution and destruction consumes me," Scott dug his fingers into his palms deeper, "I've tried to control it, but now…"

"Scott?" Logan asked worriedly.

"There's this dark force inside of me fighting to break free," Scott met his eyes with a sudden seriousness, "and after hearing what I have about what they did to her I can't help, but wonder if it's less of me and more of Jean…of the Phoenix and the madness that surrounds her hunger. It's not just a buried part of Jean's personality. Charles is wrong. There's something behind it-an unyielding thirst-a need for chaos and rebirth that's all consuming and…"

"You think Jean's guiding you towards her again?" Logan replied with a tentative voice, "That she's pulling you in because she's waiting for you to find her?"

"She's still all around me, inside of me, but today," Scott paused thinking about what he'd experienced in the elevators during his confrontation with Jean, "there's so much pain and anguish. It's fueled by contempt and desire, so much so that I wasn't even aware of what Jean was dealing with until that night in the barn. I had the first real taste of it then, but as it evolves I know it's growing inside of me. It's taking shape and preparing for…"

"For what?" Logan watched Scott step inside of himself.

"For revenge," Scott shuddered as the harsh exhale of a breath spilled over his lips, "I can see how this could shake her up even further. If she's been afraid that our son isn't safe…"

"Not knowing what's happened to him would set any mother on edge," Logan agreed with him quietly, "After the hell she's been through, I wouldn't doubt that her not knowing of his fate has only fueled that rage and anger inside of her. If we can show her that he's safe…"

"Is he safe with me Logan?" Scott questioned revealing the worries that were in the front of his mind upon learning his son was alive and out there in the world, "Am I truly stable enough to be what he needs?"

"Scott, how can you even question that?" Logan couldn't help, but frown when Scott's brow creased with worry.

"Because I'm a realist Logan. Plus, I damn near killed a man Logan," Scott reminded him simply, "I almost crossed a line into becoming the thing I fear the most. What if I hadn't been able to maintain any semblance of control? What if you weren't there to stop me? What if I had lost myself to the fury?"

"You didn't," Logan reminded him firmly, "You showed incredible restraint and control…"

"No," Scott clenched his fingers deeper into the palms of his hands, "I didn't Logan and that's what frightens me. If I could allow the pain I've experienced to consume me so much so that I was willing to compromise all that I've believed in, then what would make me believe that I'd be able to stop when I face that kind of adversity again?"

"You're strong Scott," Logan informed him with a newfound determination, "and stubborn. You know what you want in this world and you're not afraid to fight for it. You're not above sacrificing yourself for what's right."

"Yet here I've been hiding away from responsibility living in a world of hedonistic pleasures simply because it feels better than being back at the school doing what's expected of me," Scott offered up with a long sigh, "That wasn't the man I was Logan. Before this happened to me I wasn't about temptation and desire. I was about doing what was needed and…"

"You were selfless and driven by a cause, but just because you've realized you need something more in your life doesn't make you less of a man Scott," Logan added firmly, "Yes, maybe you were a model of control and repression before we found our way to one another, but you weren't happy. You were always living in a place where you were locked away from what you were feeling deep within the walls of the prison you'd put up around you to keep others out."

"There was a reason for that," Scott exhaled sharply. His lower lip quivered when he raised his chin up to look at the sky above them, "There were things inside of me that were meant to be forever locked away."

"Whether they were meant to be locked away or not they are a part of who you are and we're going to face them," Logan placed his oversized hands on Scott's shoulders, "together."

"Together," Scott repeated with a small breath of relief in his voice, "You make it sound so simple."

"That's because you and I together is right," Logan added smoothly, "Even with the complications we've endured along the way you and I have always been the one thing that's felt right. Together we're much stronger than we are in being at odds with one another. We're a team that thrives and endures and with your son, well, we're going to face that challenge as well in giving him everything he should've had from the start."

"He should've been able to be with his mother," Scott replied shamefully, "She should've been given that opportunity."

"Yes, she should have," Logan agreed with him, "and if she's out there calling to you…"

"…then maybe we can save her as well," Scott decided with a firmness in his voice, "Maybe we can pull her back from the darkness and defeat the influence of Phoenix once and for all."

"Perhaps," Logan replied hoping to keep his thoughts on the subject muted, "Maybe Jean has been guiding us towards the truth all along. Whatever part of her still exists…maybe she needs to find a way to move past the anger given that it's clear she just wants you to be a father to your child. Maybe that's why we found the journal in the first place…"

"Because she wanted us to know," Scott mouthed quietly, pondering Logan's words.

Logan nodded, "Stranger things have happened. It's entirely possible that she was leaving us clues, hoping to guide us towards the truth…"

"But we read it all wrong. I thought everything was about us, about how we hurt her, but now everything is different," Scott finished thinking about his last encounter with 'Jean' back at the office. Their dark confrontation left little truth to the past in revealing Scott's son to him. It had been violent, menacing and terrifying in it's own right. Still in knowing the truth, Scott couldn't help, but wonder if perhaps all of his mind's manifestations of Jean were simply guilt over his actions and not truly the woman he'd once loved reaching out to terrorize him.

Perhaps Scott had been wrong to think Jean was solely responsible for all he'd done. Yes, Charles had spoken of Phoenix and her wrath, but maybe everything was pointing to another opportunity for all of them. Maybe in finding their son Scott could save Jean after all. He'd been terrified of her, but perhaps there was still a chance for her. He'd experienced positive visions of her before his changes back when he was in captivity. She'd been asking for his forgiveness, begging him to understand and now with the news of their child fresh on the front burner, he was beginning to see things clearly. His son was out there waiting for him, needing him like Jean had wanted, but now his mind was filled with so many questions.

"You okay?" Logan asked pulling Scott from his thoughts.

"I was just thinking about Jean and all the things that lead up to where we are today," Scott divulged taking in a breath.

"It's a lot to take in," Logan added squeezing his arm around Scott once again, "I know we've been surrounded by questions, but…"

"The answers we have now are a start in the right direction," Scott met Logan's gaze once again, "We can do for him what I wasn't able to do for her."

"Of course we can," Logan nodded in agreement, "If anyone can make this right, I know it's you."

"I've made a fine mess of everything over the last few years, so I'm not so sure of that," Scott admitted quietly, "but maybe it's time for me to get myself together again. It's time to stop fighting in essence who I've always been."

"I think deep down you've known who you were from the start Scott," Logan gave him a long once over, "That's never been the problem."

"Yeah I suppose," Scott nodded in agreement, "I just had trouble facing it, but now, well I was just thinking about parenting-about what's ahead…"

"I know I'm not exactly father material, but truth be told," Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott's face tenderly, "I'd rather take a stab at giving it a go, then walking away from what we have. I know that it's probably not the time to be saying this, but selfishly I meant what I said Scott. Once I had you I never intend on letting you go regardless of the circumstances."

"Logan, you don't have to say that considering that…" Scott opened his mouth to give Logan the opportunity to find another out for them.

"Yes I do," Logan nodded firmly before squeezing his arms around Scott tighter than before, "because there's no way in hell that I'm stepping aside if she's still out there Scott. Sure, maybe it might be the proper thing to do given that everyone's all about you and Jean, but damn it you're mine. She can't have you anymore. Even if her memory still remains, it doesn't change things Scott. You having a son with her doesn't change anything where I'm concerned. Sure, maybe it means we'll have to show a little more discretion about sex, but hey what's the difference between that and the school, right?"

"You can't adhere to limitations at school Logan," Scott couldn't help, but offer up a hint of a relieved smirk, "How am I supposed to expect you to behave now?"

"Because we've got a new life in our hands, one that's going to need us to provide him with everything he could ever want or need," Logan stroked the side of Scott's face with a thoughtful expression building over his features, "The last thing I would want to do is let him or you down Scott."

"You're taking this a whole hell of a lot better than I'd thought you would," Scott eyed Logan suspiciously unable to quell the relieved breath that carried over him in having Logan's support. "I kind of figured after everything that happened inside that this would be one of those deal breakers for you. I know we never talked about a family or children for us in the future, so…"

"Scott, you're willing to take me into your life knowing that a huge chunk of my history is still missing from me. For all we both know I might have a child of my own out there-maybe even grandchildren considering how long I've been around in this world. There's so much that you could and should be afraid of, but you took a chance on me," Logan confessed sliding his fingers into Scott's hair tenderly.

"About that. Logan, there's something that I need to tell you…something that I think you should know about our past that…" Scott cleared his throat nervously, his body tensing up with the truth on the tip of his tongue.

"Scott, you don't have to say it. I know that you aren't afraid of what might be in my past, so how in the hell could you expect me to be put off by the thought of you having a son?" Logan raised his brow curiously. "I mean you've taken a leap of faith on me, so why wouldn't I take one with you?"

"Logan, it's just…." Scott hesitated struggling with his conflicting thoughts as Logan held onto him.

"Just what?" Logan questioned searching his eyes, "Scott, what's wrong?"

"It's just…I don't know if I can keep doing this," Scott revealed with a crease in his brow, "There are so many things I know now that I haven't told you-things that I remember that…"

"…you fear might prevent you from being a good father?" Logan asked seemingly sensing Scott's apprehension, "Scott, I know you're afraid of what's been happening to you, but I swear we will find a way to fix this. I don't know how, but we'll be able to get through this together. We'll find a way and while we do, we'll do everything in our power to help your son as well. If that's what has you so concerned, then…"

"No, that's not…I mean…well, honestly I'm still not sure how I'm going to be in the role of someone's father," Scott finally exhaled with worry creasing over his brow in an attempt to ignore his inner turmoil, "I've been making huge mistakes lately. Plus, through the years I haven't exactly lived the kind of life that most children need for a role model…"

"Are you kidding me? You're practically a saint and at the school, the students love you. Even if they pretend not to, they all respect and look up to you Scott. Your son is going to as well," Logan couldn't help, but offer up a small wink. "Besides, if you can win me over, then the rest of the world is nothing."

"So you've kept telling me," Scott couldn't help, but crack a reluctant smile. His features raised with relief for a moment before another thought passed over him, "but what happens when he asks me about Jean one day? If we find out she's really gone, what do I tell him then?"

"That you loved his mother very much," Logan reached out to touch the hollow of Scott's perfectly sculpted cheekbone, "and that he's the result of the very best you and Jean had with one another in your time together."

"I like that," Scott's smile carried with it the first beginnings of relief in imagining his first meeting with his son.

"I kind of thought you might," Logan noted with a small tip of his head and a curl of his upper lip, "You're getting very easy to read Summers."

"You think I'm weak, don't you?" Scott frowned and searched Logan's eyes for a long moment in trying to read his lover.

"Weak? No, but you do have a few moments of predictability every now and then," Logan mouthed sliding his fingers into Scott's hair in an attempt to draw out a more intimate connection between them. "We may have to work on that."

"Hmm, well predictable tends to equate to boring in some circles," Scott curled his lip in a frown despite Logan's best efforts to lighten the situation between them.

"Boring is something you could never be," Logan assured him, dipping down to steal a quick kiss. He felt Scott's arms slide around his shoulders, squeezing at his muscular body in an attempt to keep the connection alive between them.

Wrapping his thick, powerful arms around Scott's slender waist, Logan allowed the moment to linger, to expand and absorb the weight of Scott's emotions when Logan held him. As Scott's lips parted inviting Logan inside, Logan thought of all the misery he'd experienced in his life. While he couldn't remember it all, he knew deep down that losing Scott would be the end of him. Yes, perhaps they'd made mistakes, but with Scott in his arms, nothing felt better then the two of them together working as a team on every level. Kissing Scott and tasting Scott's tongue over his, slow and steady in it's erotic press, Logan knew full well that he was finally in a place where he'd always longed to be. He had everything he wanted.

"With everything to lose," a voice inside of him warned, reminding him that happiness never lasted in his life. Still with the idea of a future and maybe even a family with Scott on the horizon Logan was ready to take things one day at a time. No longer a monster or the animal that Stryker had tried to force him to be. He could be happy, embrace love and maybe even get used to the idea of settling down in one place at long last.

"Logan, we need to talk," Scott finally withdrew from the kiss, his brow creased with worry, "I've been holding back on something for a while, but I can't do it any longer. I've been afraid-behaving like a coward in withholding this from you, but I know now that this can't wait. I know we're about to leave to meet my son, but I think you should know that…"

"What's wrong?" Logan questioned feeling a chill carry over the moment between them when Scott leaned back into the railing on the patio.

"Logan, there's something that I think we should talk about," Scott cleared his throat, an uneasiness carrying over his features, "It's something that I've wanted to discuss with you for a while, but as I've said before I've been too afraid to given that we have been so wrapped up in other things. However, with you mentioning your past before, well, there's something I need to tell you about us…"

"Us?" Logan repeated giving him a curious look, "Scott, look I know we took a long time to get here, but…"

"We had so many opportunities Logan and in being here now," Scott took in a long, slow breath, "in being here with you in this moment, it's more than enough, but there's something that you don't know. There's something that I've selfishly held onto-something that only recently came to me, but given that you and I aren't keeping secrets from one another any longer…"

"Scott, now you're starting to worry me," Logan couldn't help, but frown back at him.

"I'm not trying to. It's nothing to be worried about considering that it's, well, it's a good thing. At least it was for me and even if you can't remember, well, maybe in time you'll see that it's good for us considering that…" Scott bit down on his lower lip nervously.

"What it is?" Logan prompted further, "What's going on Scott?"

"When I was eighteen Charles sent me with a group on a mission. To make a long story short, it didn't go too well. It actually went horrible for me, but then when I was at my lowest point, well…" Scott opened his mouth to explain further.

"Charles mentioned a mission when he arrived," Logan tensed up thinking of his earlier confrontation with Charles. "He'd said that it changed you-that it guided you on a new path…"

"It did," Scott nodded quickly, "only I was confused at the time. I didn't understand everything clearly, but now…"

"What?" Logan asked again, "Scott, why are you stalling?"

"I'll show you," Scott touched Logan's face, skimming his fingertips over the stubble on his cheek. Taking in a breath, Scott met Logan's eyes again, "It's easier that way."

"Scott, what are you…" Logan's eyes widened feeling a warmth accompanying the involuntary press of Scott into his mind.

"I opened a connection between us Logan," Scott explained with a sudden seriousness in his voice, "I know that I should've asked first, but given what's been happening with Jean, I knew that it was time. I need you to see the truth. I need you to understand that as much as I thought I loved her that deep down I was never hers. That I've always been with…"

"Everything is ready," Charles interrupted Logan and Scott, drawing them out of the moment with his arrival. Scott pulled back with a gasp, severing the connection between him and Logan. His breath was uneven, his thoughts ready to be shared with Logan, but when he returned his focus to his son again, he couldn't help, but realize now wasn't the time to venture into the past.

"Logan, I'm…" Scott began to apologize when his face grew hot.

"We can do this later," Logan promised with a whisper when Scott reached down keeping his fingers in Logan's oversized hand when he turned to face Charles fully.

"Are you ready to meet your son?" Charles questioned looking between both men with a new curiosity.

Scott tipped his head up, turning to meet Logan's eyes again before nodding, "Yeah, we're both ready. Let's go."

xxxxx


	38. Chapter 38

"So what is this place exactly?" Logan couldn't help, but question as he, Scott and Charles made their journey to the safe house where Charles was keeping Scott's son tucked away from the rest of the world.

"It's a summer home that my family had when I was growing up," Charles explained as they traveled up the winding road towards the address Charles had shared with Scott and Logan once they'd gotten into Scott's car. "It's been a part of my family for generations. It's very private and secluded away from the rest of the world as a safe haven, which is what I felt Christopher needed during this time."

"Why hadn't I heard about it before?" Scott questioned, his grip on the steering wheel intensifying as he pondered the place they were headed to. They were two hours into their journey and Scott found himself increasingly eager to see his son at long last.

"It's been my own personal retreat," Charles explained exhaling slowly, "I'd kept it private for years hoping that the time wouldn't ever arise for us to have to use it, but now that things are the way they have been…"

"You had no choice, right?" Scott glanced over at Charles briefly before focusing on the road again.

"Life is full of a great many choices and consequences Scott. I don't anticipate this being an easy road for us, but hopefully one day you'll come to understand why I had to take such extreme measures to protect you and Christopher," Charles stated plainly, his voice devoid of any emotion when Scott noticed something in the road up ahead closing it off.

"What is that?" Logan questioned sitting up straighter when he spotted the block in the road up ahead.

"I don't know. It looks like a tree and…," Scott frowned slowing down the car when he spotted smoke in the distance beyond the horizon.

"That shouldn't be there," Charles began worriedly, his thoughts leaving the car when another flash of movement captured Logan's attention.

"Scott, pull over," Logan ordered reaching for the handle on his door to open it.

"Logan," Scott frowned watching his lover roll out of the moving car without hesitation. Scott brought the car to a screeching stop as he watched Logan sprint off into the trees, seeking out the source of movement that he'd spotted moments earlier. Feeling an unsettling sensation carrying over him, Scott turned to look over his shoulder at Charles once again, "What's going on?"

"I have no idea," Charles admitted honestly, "as far as I know that shouldn't be in the road and…"

"It's not going to stay there long," Scott decided opening the door to get out of the car. "Wait here."

"Damn it," Scott cursed under his breath as he felt a vibration in his pocket. He pulled his phone out and realized it was Ororo on the other end of the line. Approaching the sudden roadblock Scott brought his phone up to his ear and spoke up in a terse tone, "Where are you?"

"We're on our way Scott. We were delayed by a security breach at the school," Ororo explained drawing in a breath.

"What kind of security breach?" Scott felt tension coil in the back of his shoulders when he stood up straighter.

"It's nothing to worry about…" she paused before speaking up again, "At least not just yet. The jet will be there in no time according to our calculations. We've been following the directions that you've given us and…"

"What aren't you telling me Ororo?" Scott questioned in between surveying the area.

"It's just…" she stopped herself, "What's going on out there?"

"I'm not sure, but something tells me someone doesn't want us to make our way up to Christopher. It would be in all of our best interest if you just get here fast," Scott ordered in a firm, authoritative tone. He glanced over his shoulder as Charles sat in the car and felt a frown carry over his lips, "I don't trust this situation or Charles after everything he's withheld from all of us."

"I realize that, which is why Hank and I put together a team right away," she informed him with a sudden apprehension in her voice, "We're just minutes from the location Scott, but as I said we were delayed by…"

"By what?" Scott questioned when he looked to the thick, rounded tree in the road.

"People were at the school. There were some men from the government that were asking questions about you and Charles-they were asking about your son as well…," she hesitated indicating there was far more than she was willing to say over the phone, "Scott, things aren't looking good. Whatever happened with you and Charles before…"

"What?" he inquired stiffening at her hesitation, "Ororo?"

"I just think it's best that we get your son and get out of the area," Storm informed him with a sudden seriousness in her voice, "If there's any chance that he's under their radar…"

"Just get here," Scott instructed when tension coiled up over his spine, "If you make it to the house before we do, then find Christopher and get him out of there no questions asked."

"You have my word on the Scott," she agreed quietly, "What about Charles?"

"We've hit a bit of a delay," Scott looked to the offensive tree again, "but it's nothing I can't work through."

"Do you want us to pick you up Scott?" she inquired.

"No," Scott decided, "Just get to Christopher. As I said before Ororo I don't trust this situation. Everything about it just feels…wrong."

"I understand," she replied before clearing her throat, "I'll do my best Scott."

"I know you will," Scott added in letting go of some of the stoic firmness he'd carried with him, "You're one of the few people in this world that Jean and I would trust our son's life with Ororo. If I can't get there to him, then I know you'll keep him safe until we're able to get there."

"I'll do my best," she promised as Scott hung up the phone and thought to his plan for finding his son again. In having Logan run off after some impending threat and being met by a roadblock Scott could feel himself on sensory overload in wondering what he was being lead to.

 _"You can't trust anyone,"_ a voice in the back of his mind instructed carrying shivers over his spine, _"especially not them."_

"Them?" Scott repeated when there was a sound from behind where he stood.

"Scott," Charles called out to him watching Scott push forward, focused on removing the obstacle blocking the path when Charles heard a tapping on the window beside him. He tipped his head to the side seeing Erik outside of the car.

"We need to talk my friend," Erik waved his hand in the air, using his powers to open the door to encourage Charles to exit the back seat, "now."

"What is he doing here?" Scott demanded turning his attention to discover Erik and Charles with one another. With his frustrations mounting Scott ignored the fallen tree and moved towards the other man who had opted to play god with his child's life. Feeling vibrations of anger carry over his skin Scott demanded a response out of Charles, "Did you call him out here?"

"There were a few things we both needed to discuss with you," Erik began in a smooth and even voice, "They were things that you needed to hear directly from the both of us considering that…"

"That you left Jean there to die in that facility," Scott finished with a sneer when he felt his angers mounting, "She asked you for help. She begged you to bring my son to me, but what did you do? You both hid him away from me and refused to let me know of his existence."

"That was not my intention," Erik offered up with an apologetic expression on his face, "nor did I ever want for any of this son."

"I'm not your son," Scott spat back at him with a snarl. He clenched his fists at his sides before glaring over at Erik and Charles, "neither one of you had a right to make decisions what was right for my child."

"Actually…" Charles opened his mouth to say something more when Erik stepped forward.

"I know what it's like to have your child stolen from you Scott," Erik interrupted with a deep remorse in his voice, "I know what it's like to learn years later that your boy is out there living a life where he's completely unaware of your existence. I've been where you're at in watching my son grow up in a world without me-in a place where others deemed it better for him to be away from any potential influence that I could bring upon him."

"Erik," Charles began stiffly when tension carried over his posture.

"No more lies Charles," Erik snapped in a dark tone when he focused on Scott once again, "I know what it's like to be deceived after your child has been brainwashed into believing that you are the enemy-that you aren't capable of love or real emotion when the person you trusted-the person that you loved brought your child into this world without so much as the benefit of the doubt in letting you know he was out there. Instead you find yourself surrounded by lies and manipulations, by fabricated memories best served to hide the truth about who he was and where he's come from…"

"Erik!" Charles snarled taking a step forward when his jaw tightened in warning, "Now is not the time or the place…"

"If not now, then when Charles?" Erik questioned turning to face his old friend again, "Why keep the boy in the dark when all he's asking for is the truth? We've done things your way and it was ineffective, so now it's time to play it by my methods."

"Scott," Charles opened his mouth to say something more to soften the blow of what Erik was inevitably going to deliver to Scott, but instead he discovered that Scott had turned his back to them instead using the powers he'd acquired to move the tree out of the center of the road. He held his hand out, curling his fingers into a fist as he raised his arm out in front of him. The thick, oversized stump crackled and heaved against the force, twisting up off of the ground, rising with each movement Scott made when Erik let out a breath of anticipatory awe and fascination.

"Look at him Charles," Erik's lips curved upward in the beginnings of a smile when the tree ascended beyond the road hovering over the road a few feet above Scott's head. It appeared lightweight as Scott began to twist his fingers in an attempt to twist the tree around and return it to where it had originated. It moved through the dense woods beside them gliding effortlessly through the air until Scott squeezed his fingers again. The movement caused the tree to stand upright, sliding in over the splintered stump that still lingered in the ground. With a few other movements Erik and Charles watched as the tree returned to it's base, suddenly rooted into it's missing piece and reemerging as one before them. Against all laws of nature the tree began to thrive and flourish appearing as if it had before it had inevitably been taken down, "He's magnificent."

"Scott," Charles took a step forward to seek out Scott again when a sound rose from above the trees. It was a pounding sensation that vibrated the ground beneath them, carrying with it an overwhelming force followed by an earth shattering explosion.

"No!" Scott gasped horrified by the thick cloud of smoke rising above the trees, "Please tell me that's not the direction we were headed in."

"Scott I…" Charles opened his mouth to say something further, but instead Scott ignored him and rushed up the hill bound and determined to seek out the son he'd been kept from for far too long already.

XXXXX

Leaves crunched underneath Logan's feet as he ran through the woods chasing the source of the sounds that surrounded him. His eyes shifted through the shaded area when he moved further away from the others and the car. He paused listening to the sound of his own labored breath when the scent saturating the area became overwhelmingly familiar. It was all around him, consuming him until finally he spun around to see a deer in the green grass before him munching on the blades as if it hadn't had a care in the world. It's big, brown eyes were on Logan eyeing him suspiciously as Logan's foot came down on a twig in the grass. It snapped causing the deer to dart off in the opposite direction. It was then that another noise came from overhead.

"What the…?" Logan questioned seeing a bird swoop down from the trees towards him. He ducked down preparing for battle by extending his claws when he spun around to discover Mystique standing before him with a mocking grin on her face. She was leaning up against one of the trees with her arms folded in front of her chest.

"You're a little bit jumpy aren't you?" she teased to reveal a bright, white smirk before him.

"Mystique," he frowned in standing upright. His claws returned to his body as he glared at her, "I should've known it was you…"

"What can I say?" she waved her hand around in the air, "I have a knack for theatrics in keeping you on your toes."

"What are you doing out here?" he questioned wearily when she approached him.

"I was following you, which truth be told I don't believe I'm the only one," she continued in a nonchalant fashion, "However, with what I had to say I knew it couldn't wait any longer."

"Come again?" Logan blinked back at her.

"Oh I think I'd like that," she grinned widely before shaking her head at him. He snarled extending his claws out when she waved her hand around in the air dismissively, "Logan, I'm joking. I needed to speak with you…"

"About what?" he asked suspiciously, "Why follow us here?"

"What better place than the house of lies you're about to walk into with your precious Cyclops?" she challenged hoping to pique his curiosity when she stepped forward to close the gap between them, "The things that you're about to enter into with Charles Xavier aren't at all what they seem."

"Meaning what?" he frowned back at her.

"Meaning that perhaps it's time for you to really think about what you're getting yourself into. Charles isn't at all what he claims to be," she continued in an impassioned tone, "I realize that Scott is changing as well. Erik is too as he's becoming something far more than what he was before. The time away has changed all of them as their powers are evolving and…"

"What do you know about all of their powers?" Logan demanded with a scowl.

"I know that they've all become something darker than any of us have anticipated," she paused drawing out extra emphasis in her voice, "especially Charles. He's a liar and a manipulator."

"Why would you say that?" Logan asked wearily.

"Because he's shielded you from a lifetime of memories with Scott," Mystique practically purred in the admission, "He's stolen joy from the both of you time and time again only to serve his own greedy agenda. The ironic part of all of it is that you've been blissfully unaware of all he's stolen from you simply because he wouldn't allow Scott the true joys he'd longed for in his life. Scott has been idolizing him for most of his life, but the past isn't as buried as Charles has hoped for, which is why all of this will erupt very soon."

"What will erupt?" Logan questioned with a frown.

"Charles Xavier's house of lies," she chortled with a wicked smirk, "and I, for one, want to be standing there watching it fall down all around him. Once his tyranny is exposed, then everyone will see that his dream is nothing more than an illusion meant to oppress those like you and Cyclops from realizing your true potential."

"I didn't realize that you weren't a fan of Chuck's," Logan remarked with a thick air of sarcasm in his tone, "I'm sure he's crushed that you won't be leading up his fan club this year."

"Don't make light of this Logan because you're one of the many he has betrayed," she warned sharply, "He and Erik are full of lies meant to betray us all starting with your precious, little Scott."

"Do you have a point in all of this?" Logan looked over his shoulder to the direction he'd come from. His thoughts returned to Scott and the mission they'd been on.

"They're changing him Logan," she added with an uneasy breath, "what you think you know isn't at all the way things are. I'm sure you must be realizing that what those people did to Scott…Logan, you can't tell me that you're so blind that you haven't realized that they've caused him to evolve into beyond what he once was."

"Have you been spying on us?" Logan questioned thinking back to what had transpired in the barn with Scott. In the aftermath someone had taken great liberties to murder the man who had tortured Scott and with Mystique standing before him Logan couldn't help, but wonder if he'd found the culprit.

"I don't have to," she wrinkled her nose at him. Her eyes glowed with something Logan couldn't quite read when she leaned in closer to him, "Erik's changed as well. I can't trust him anymore."

"Is that right?" Logan mouthed with a thick air of sarcasm in his tone.

"He's not the same in he hasn't been letting me in anymore. All of his plans are secretive now that he's found another alliance to confide in with his newfound companion," she further explained when Logan rolled his eyes at her.

"I'm not here to be a relationship councilor. Why do I care about any of this?" he questioned gruffly in an attempt to turn away from her.

"Because it directly involves Scott," she reached out to wrap her fingers around his arm in a solid twist, "Whether you want to believe me or not, Erik's plotting something. He's been building upon a new agenda since we found him. He's changed and as it stands it seems as if his new agenda revolves solely around an unholy union with Charles Xavier like they had years ago."

Logan stiffened at the mention of Scott's mentor.

"I knew that would capture your attention," she mouthed releasing his arm when he faced her once again "The two of them have an agenda and it won't end well-certainly not for your lover."

"You're lying," Logan accused when her eyes met in a challenge.

"Why reason would I have to lie? What purpose would it serve for me in telling you the truth about Erik's new allegiances with Charles?" she shrugged her shoulder simply.

"Maybe you're jealous that someone else is capturing his attention," Logan suggested with a shrug.

"Or maybe he's being manipulated by the same man who wiped out Scott's memory for years in the name of preventing him from finding true happiness," she tossed back at him flippantly, "Scott still hasn't told you about your beginnings, has he?"

"Excuse me?" Logan blinked back at her.

"Perhaps that's part of his loyalty to Charles," she rolled her shoulders back, "Maybe a part of him is afraid of what the truth will do to the future in realizing just how deep the level of betrayal ran with Charles all that time ago."

"I'm not following…" Logan shifted on his feet again.

"Charles never wanted you to be with Scott. It was the one thing that he fought against from the beginning, yet here you are with Scott's ring on your finger," Mystique reminded him with a wrinkled expression on his face, "Just how long do you believe that Charles intends on letting it stay there Logan?"

"Chuck doesn't have a say in my relationship," Logan remarked sourly.

"Doesn't he?" she raised a suspicious brow, "Given that he's lead you out into the middle of nowhere with a flimsy story and talk of a long lost child for Scott…"

"You know about Scott's son?" Logan's eyes widened with surprise.

She nodded, "I've seen him. I've spoken with him…when Erik had him."

"Erik," Logan repeated with a frown, "Magneto."

"It seems Charles Xavier didn't want to carry the burden of the truth on his own, so he let Erik hold the power of attorney to Scott's child. I'm sure he's bypassed that bit of information though, hasn't he?" she forced a laugh.

"Magneto's had Scott's son," Logan replied with a snarl.

"And he has no intention of giving him back to Scott given the circumstances," Mystique taunted further, "He believes Christopher is the chosen one…that he can somehow use him in ways that neither Scott nor Jean were capable of fulfilling for our kind. He's holding on to a futile hope and a dream, but he's mistaken. Christopher isn't the one who will change things. Scott is. It's always been Scott, but something tells me that you've always known that."

"This is crazy. I shouldn't be wasting my time listening to this when…" Logan admitted with a tight scowl.

"The things that happened to Scott will undoubtedly change him. They've been building to a point where you'll have to make a decision and a choice," she informed him with a sudden seriousness in her voice, "Erik and Charles are aware of this. They've seen what the future holds in store for all of us. They've been taking measures to ensure that things change, but they're both afraid that the outcome is still inevitable for us all."

"You're not making any sense," Logan frowned back at her, "All of your nonsense is wasting my time and…"

"You'll be presented with a choice Logan," she added with a brashness in her tone, "You may have no other choice, but to destroy Scott if the people who created him get control of him again."

"Destroy Scott?" Logan blinked back at her.

"That's what I believe Erik and Charles are doing right now in plotting ways to take him under," she continued meeting his eyes again, "They know the kind of power Scott wields. Should it fall into the wrong hands again with Stryker's supporters, then our kind will be wiped out into extinction. They will manipulate him as they did with Jean until there's nothing left of him, but a tool for vengeance to be turned against us. Stryker was well aware of this from the start…Erik and Charles know this and they've taken measures to ensure that Scott doesn't reach his full potential. Should that happen they both know that it will be the end of mutantkind as we know it."

"You're insane," Logan mouthed under his breath when he found his patience running thin.

"Tell me he hasn't changed-that he's not capable of things that you were too afraid to believe in before," Mystique suggested with a long sigh, "We both know that he's becoming something more than the rest of us. With his limitless powers…"

"What do you know of Scott's powers?" Logan tossed back at her flippantly.

"I know that he's the chosen one-that he's always been the chosen one and Stryker wanted to make for damn sure that he was kept on his leash long before Scott realized what he was," she added with a shake of her head, "If you hadn't freed him from his cell all those years ago Stryker might've been successful in destroying us all, but you changed that for him. You took Scott to a place where he was never meant to be and now…you've condemned us all."

"I've condemned us?" Logan repeated with a shake of his head, "I'm finished with this nonsense."

"Extinction is right around the corner," she squeezed at his arm once again, "That day is coming and it has been for years. William Stryker was just the first in a great many who have tried to tear us to pieces. They've tried to destroy all that we are, but they've always come up short. They haven't been able to find the key until they were able to get their hands on Scott. Once they realized his full potential, well that's when they realized that Scott isn't like the rest of them. He yields uncontrollable power that never should've been made possible from his parentage…his existence as a whole is an abomination by their standards."

"Let go of me," Logan warned sharply when he pulled his arm back only to feel her nails dig further into his flesh.

"Logan, we both know that the world will believe that his evolution is dangerous. If he's in the wrong hands, then there's no denying what will happen to our kind in the aftermath. It's a fate we all want to avoid because if the others find him again-or even if Erik and Charles manage to get their hands on him, then the consequences for us will be deadly. Scott's strengths are unexplainable with the Phoenix force inside of him and we both know that Stryker's people are feeding into what's happened to him…"

"The Phoenix force?" Logan repeated eyeing her suspiciously.

"There are things that Charles Xavier has kept well hidden-some better than others, but with Jean Grey, well, she was a host for so very long. Her abilities made her readily able to keep the reigns on what was happening to her, but with Scott he can't afford the luxury. He can't contain it as Jean had and everyone knows that. Once it takes control of him there will be only one choice-to kill or be killed. Only destruction will follow and when he reaches that point should he be on the wrong side it could end us all…"

"Look," Logan seized her by the arm, "I'm taking you back with me. We can get to the bottom of your nonsense after…"

Logan's words were brought to an abrupt ending when an explosion ripped through the sky. Looking up Logan noticed the flames that shot through the day, bringing a thick cloud of smoke around the trees he'd been immersed in. He felt Mystique beside him, struggling to get out of his hold on her, but when another explosion followed she suddenly became an aftermath in the name of getting to Scott before it was too late.

xxxxx

"Where did that explosion come from?" Ororo questioned as she rushed up to join Scott at the front of the estate grounds where Charles was keeping Christopher.

"Sentinels," Charles announced joining the duo when Hank and the others moved out of the jet.

"What are they doing here?" Scott questioned in a panic when he could see the front of the house had been ripped to shreds right before his very eyes. Panic and emotion overtook him in thinking about his son inside of the now burning building, "We have to neutralize them and get in there."

"I'm on it," Logan announced rushing to join the others with claws extended, "Just point me in the right direction and I'll put a stop to this. Pete!"

"I'm here," another voice rose up through the sounds of explosions as Scott looked to the others.

"You two get on them and Ororo," Scott turned to his long time friend, "you find a way inside to get to Christopher. I'll work on clearing them as well."

"I've got it," she nodded turning her attention to the task at hand when Scott and Logan exchanged worried glances with one another.

"You take the back I'll go up the front," Scott suggested turning his attention to Peter at Logan's side, "You ready for this?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," Logan nodded moving towards the direction of the chaos.

"Logan," Scott opened his mouth to say something more when the smoke and flames engulfed the woods around them becoming a greater threat with the violence tearing into house before them.

"I'll be back," Logan promised giving Scott one last look before turning away.

"I'm counting on that," Scott mouthed focusing on the threat in front of him when he felt another presence at his side.

"Let's do this," Hank announced rushing forward to aid Scott in their mission to save Scott's son from the danger that now threatened to take them all under.

"Scott…" Charles opened his mouth to say something with Erik at his side.

"Not now," Scott charged forward preparing for a battle now that it was clear that disaster was threatening to overtake them.

"Scott…" Charles began again when Scott walked away much to his dismay.

"I'm afraid the boy is right. Now's a time for action," Erik decided stepping forward to join in the fight with Charles at his side.

"That's what worries me," Charles mouthed to himself when it seemed that the world around them was about to explode into chaos.

xxxxx

Thick red and orange flames engulfed Charles Xavier's summer home as Scott pushed his way inside. With Hank at his side they'd been able to neutralize one of the sentinels they'd encountered on the way inside, but that was only the beginning. Never before had Scott found himself so caught off guard in his surroundings when it seemed that a full force attack was waged upon the home. It was starting to feel like war as he and Hank had fought like hell to take down the sentinel, but even in the brief moment of victory Scott could still hear the others struggling to find a way to do the same when another explosion ripped through the front of the house behind them.

"They're closing in on us Scott," Scott could vaguely hear Hank's voice in the back of his mind.

 _"They want to destroy you Scott,"_ Scott could hear Jean's voice in the back of his mind, calling to him when he took a long look around, _"They know you're close to finding him."_

Looking up Scott turned his attention to the large window still in tact at the back of the house. Through the smoke that surrounded him he could see Logan out back doing the same thing he'd done moments earlier in taking the sentinel down. The weight of the violence built, the threat expanding as Scott noticed that Magneto had managed to step up and join in the fight. Ororo was somewhere in the house undoubtedly seeking out Christopher while Logan and Peter continued working to take out the last threat to the team.

 _"The end is near,"_ Jean's voice haunted Scott, pulling him further from the moment when a terrible ache surrounded him. He closed his eyes feeling the flames engulf him when suddenly everything felt unstable, uncertain. He took in a breath feeling smoke in his lungs when he reopened his eyes to discover himself surrounded by fire.

 _"Scott, it's time,"_ Jean beckoned him causing him to look up as she hovered above him with outstretched arms. Her smile lit up her face, drawing his attention to the blackness behind her eyes when she curled her finger at him in urging him to join her, to walk away from the path he was on and become something more. He took a step forward realizing that the world around him had shifted, leaving everything else behind except for the fire and madness.

 _"Scott!"_ she ordered drawing him towards her when Scott felt a firm grip on his shoulder pulling him back to reality. Now, as Scott felt the overwhelming smoke around him, he searched through the house attempting to make his way up the stairs to the place where Charles had promised Christopher would be waiting. However, another explosion ripped through the house causing Hank to call out to Scott in a panic.

"Scott!" Hank shouted snapping him out of his daze completely, "Look out!"

"What?" Scott questioned raising his head to see one of the ceiling beams approaching him. He brought his hand out preventing the beam from crushing him completely. His fingers stretched out, twisting the beam in an unspoken movement when Hank's eyes widened with shock and astonishment. Clenching his fist Scott rotated the beam sending it across the room out of their path, "I've got this."

"Scott I…" Hank found himself at a loss when another sound caused the house to vibrate around them.

"What's taking them so long?" Scott questioned thinking of Logan when there was a scream from upstairs. It was followed by a loud popping sound when Scott rushed up to the top of the staircase only to be met by another thick, gust of heat.

"I've got this," he could hear Logan's voice carry over the moment drawing his attention to the room at the top of the stairs, "You're safe now."

"Logan?" Scott questioned rushing down the hallway only to feel pressure surround him. He raised his head up, preparing to say something more when the remaining part of the roof was ripped away from the house, crumbling into pieces around him. He attempted to fend off the threat of the unexpected sentinel, but before he could react he felt something crash into him from behind sending him down into the floor in a harsh wave of darkness.


	39. Chapter 39

Scott twisted on the sheet finding himself surrounded by warmth when the strong, muscular arm wrapped around his waist drawing him back to the powerful chest he'd known and loved. He kept his eyes closed taking in the familiar scent of the man he'd married knowing that life couldn't be any better than it was in those moments with Logan beside him holding him in his arms.

"You're going to be late this morning," Logan whispered warmly over the back of Scott's neck in causing Scott to be more alert than ever despite his ever growing exhaustion.

"I don't care," Scott remarked stubbornly while snuggling in closer to Logan, "I'm happy to spend the rest of the day here in your arms Logan."

"What about Christopher?" Logan questioned pressing a kiss over the back of Scott's shoulder, "He needs you Scott. You need to be there for him when…"

"Christopher," Scott repeated thinking of the son he'd learned about a short while earlier, "but Logan he's…"

"He's in danger Scott," Logan's voice grew dark in warning. His arm suddenly felt cold, distanced as Scott twisted on the mattress only to discover Logan's pale features before him. His eyes were devoid of any color, his cheeks almost blue in their color when Scott touched the side of his face.

"Logan, what's happening?" Scott questioned attempting to pull Logan from his frozen state when Logan disappeared from the bed beside him.

"No!" Scott gasped sitting up beneath the sheet only to hear the sound of the door opening. He turned towards the source of the noise watching as the door exploded only to reveal a fire on the other side. It built, growing stronger, more threatening when it danced around him filling the bedroom he'd been in with the flames.

"Logan!" Scott shouted struggling to pull himself out of the bed when heat licked at his toes, flames dancing over the flannel sheets up over his body until he felt himself wrapped up in it, immersed in the raw carnage that burned deep into his soul. He struggled to fight it, to keep from giving himself to it's raw, agonizing heat when his eyes rolled back into his head.

"It's time Scott," the voice inside of the flames beckoned him, driving him deeper into madness when he rolled onto his side struggling to push his way out of the bed. He clawed at the nightstand seeing Logan's ring on top of the wood, surrounded by flames until suddenly darkness engulfed him in replacing the suffocating smoke and heat. All that was left was emptiness.

"Logan," Scott spoke up weakly feeling the sound of his voice barely slip past his lips when darkness consumed him. His head was aching, mind overtaken with fear when there was another painful reminder stabbing away at his chest, taking him back to the one truth he'd feared would become his reality all over again.

_"The Logan you knew is long gone Scott and he's never coming back…"_

"No!" Scott gasped feeling Charles reach into his subconscious in an attempt to pull out the one thing that had remained with him years after life had thrown him a tragic twist. He could feel the walls closing in around him, the memory of Logan being pushed aside, yet through it all there was something Scott couldn't ignore-something he wouldn't let go of.

"Logan," Scott shouted opening his eyes and discovering himself confined to a bed in the medical wing beneath the school. Almost immediately light overhead blinded him, taking him to a place where he'd been years earlier when he'd been lost inside of himself.

 _"I can make this go away Scott,"_ Charles and his words echoed through Scott's mind causing him to tense up with recall. He blinked feeling the breath rushing out of his lungs when he could see himself struggling, fighting to break free of the hold that Charles had on him. It was all around him taking him away from what he'd wanted until he'd awakened without any memory of the man he'd fallen in love with. Their time together had been eradicated, stolen from his mind until Jean had freed him. It wasn't until she'd stripped him of everything that he'd finally found the truth that had been taken from him years earlier.

"Logan," Scott repeated fighting to hold onto what Charles had once wanted to make go away. It had been dormant inside of him, lost for years until everything changed that fateful day when Charles had sent him and Ororo to find Logan and Marie. If it hadn't been for that day, then Scott may have always been without the truth. It would've been buried forever had Jean not given him the push, yet in thinking about his feelings for Logan, Scott knew full well he would never lose sight of the truth ever again.

Hesitating in making any kind of move Scott felt an ache swell in his temple. There was a nagging, pulsating pressure building in the center of his head pushing behind his eyes in ways that he hadn't experienced since before Jean had taken his powers. His control was weakening, somehow without the clarity and focus he'd surrounded himself with as he contemplated opening his eyes. For an instant he feared that doing so would send the room around him crashing down, but he stubbornly ignored the fear inside of him.

Opening his eyes he sucked in a sharp breath when relief carried over him. Nothing had changed. He was still in control. Yes, he was in pain, but the control was there for now. He was still himself, strong and determined, but somehow weaker as he looked to the room surrounding him. It reflected the experience he'd endured years earlier only unlike before he hadn't been caught up in restraints or ignorance about the world around him. This time he was stronger, wiser and…

"Betrayed," Scott mouthed to himself as he focused on the room he was in. He could hear the sound of a heart monitor, could feel the after effects of exhaustion that had kept him confined, but now there was something more-something he couldn't quite shake when he shifted beneath the blankets.

"Scott," he heard Ororo's voice beckon him from his confusion when he looked up to discover his friend seated at his bedside with a worried expression on her face, "just try to relax."

"Relax," Scott repeated blinking up at her a few times when he noticed the iv line in his arm, "Ororo, what's going on?"

"You're safe," she stepped forward reaching out to touch the side of his face. Her warm brown eyes reached into his, attempting to pull him from the grogginess that still carried over his thoughts.

"At the school?" he questioned closing his eyes and exhaling slowly.

"Yes," she replied tentatively, "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been asleep a very long time," Scott paused when he felt her fingers press in over his forehead in a surprisingly tender sweep. His eyes opened and he tipped his head up to look at her again, "How long have I been asleep?"

"A while," she answered cryptically.

"How long is that?" he questioned feeling her body stiffen beside him.

"Three days," she sighed in offering him the truth that he was certain she'd known he hadn't wanted to hear.

"Three days," he repeated with a frown, "but how…"

"Scott, you should rest," she attempted to reason with him when the door opened and Hank stepped inside to join them.

"Scott?" Hank questioned as Scott slid his hand over the mattress beneath him.

"Hank," Scott cleared his throat. He felt a dry, scratchy feeling in the back of his mouth that added emphasis to the fact it had been a few days since he'd spoken. Reaching for the railing on the bed beside him, he attempted to pull himself up to a seated position.

"You need to take it easy Scott," Hank quickly shuffled to the side of Scott's bed, attempting to prevent him from moving to quickly in his current state.

"What aren't you telling me?" Scott questioned immediately suspicious of the situation that surrounded him, "Where's Logan?"

"Scott, right now I think you should just try to relax and…" Hank began in an attempt to deflect Scott's questioning. There was apprehension in the room between them filling Scott's senses with something he couldn't quite place. It was there lingering between Hank and Ororo when they exchanged glances.

"What aren't you telling me?" Scott inquired with a growing urgency in his voice, "Where's Logan?"

"Scott, you need to calm down," Hank began when the heart monitor that Scott was attached to made a loud, frantic beeping sound, "I need to check you out before…"

"Logan," Scott snapped focusing on his friend. His blue eyes shifted between Hank and Ororo before he reached out to yank the iv line out of his arm. The movement he made caused a brief pain to carry over his left arm when blood pooled around the place where he'd been kept under their watch. Thick, deep, crimson colored drops fell onto the white sheets beneath him taking away from their crisp, generic appeal.

"What are you doing?" Ororo gasped horrified as Scott continued to move on the bed, "Your arm is…"

"It's nothing," Scott answered stiffly. He thought about pushing his legs fully onto the floor when he found himself in a moment of hesitation. Instead he watched as blood ran down his arm in a continual trickle, dark and surprising when Scott reached out to grasp his arm in his hand. He gritted his teeth listening to the sound of Hank rush forward when Scott looked to his friend again with a scowl, "Tell me where Logan is."

"Scott, you really shouldn't have done that," Hank moved forward to touch Scott's shoulder, "That's the last way to take one of those out considering that…"

"I'm not worried about the damned iv Hank," Scott pushed Hanks hand away with a frown, "Just tell me where Logan is and…"

"Scott…" Hank began again when Scott lowered his hand to reveal his arm already healed after the abrupt movement Scott had made. The blood on his arm served as the only reminder of his haste, simply putting him further away from being a patient when he finally pushed his bare feet onto the floor.

"Why isn't Logan here?" Scott questioned looking down to see the hospital gown he was in. It served as a generic reminder of the time he'd lost when he considered the situation he was in. Raising his chin up again he tipped his head to the side and recognizing the somber expression on Ororo's face. Although she'd fought to keep her emotions under wraps Scott could see that she was upset, that she'd been shaken by more than his questioning, "Ororo?"

"Scott, you need to try to relax right now. The important thing is…" her words came to an abrupt ending when Scott refused to wait for her answer. Instead his questions pushed into her thoughts, seeking out the truth that she and Hank had been hesitant to share with him. In an instant he could see the fire, could hear the screams of those around him when the house they were in exploded. It sent the team scattered all around the grounds surrounded by flames until Scott was left on the ground a few feet from where the front of the house had once been. He could see Ororo scrambling to her feet, fighting to neutralize the explosion with her powers when the bloodied remains of an arm lay before her thrust from within the wreckage. It was engulfed in flames, splintered into pieces. There was blood and tissue at her feet indicating that someone hadn't made it through the carnage when Scott could feel her shock at the sight before her. Horror had carried over her when she'd moved in closer only to discover the adamantium laced bones revealed beneath the peeled flesh before her.

"Logan!" Scott pulled out of her mind when he felt his heart thump harder in his chest, "Where is he?"

"Scott, we didn't want to believe it either," Ororo started when she felt the invasion Scott had made inside of her head, "At first we thought it was nothing, but…"

"But what?" Scott's eyes shifted between his two friends, "Don't tell me that he wasn't able to heal or that he was…"

"None of us anticipated the ambush we encountered," Hank explained in a neutral tone, "Despite what Charles thought to be true about his home, it would seem someone else had the jump on us."

"Hence the sentinels being there," Scott noted with a frown, "but that still doesn't explain where Logan is. There's no way that he would've become a casualty considering that…"

"We always knew that adamantium was virtually indestructible, but…" Hank's somber expression carried over the moment. He hung his head low as a sigh carried over his lips.

"No! He's not…" Scott refused to accept what his friend was trying to tell him, "You must be mistaken. There's no way that…"

"Scott, I'm sorry," Hank tried to reach for Scott's arm, to keep him from losing control when Scott bounced out of the bed bound and determined to make his way out of the hospital room.

"You're wrong," Scott shook his head in refusal to take in Hank's words, "You know as well as I do that Logan wouldn't just die like that. He's been through worse and…"

"This time was different," Hank admitted poignantly, "It's as if they were ready and waiting to exploit our weaknesses."

"Logan doesn't have any weaknesses," Scott snapped back at him, "He's not one to go down in a fight not when…"

"Scott, I know this is hard to take, but…" Ororo began desperately when Scott moved through the corridor.

"I'm not going to accept this," Scott replied sharply in following the path he'd taken in Ororo's mind to the observation room-to the place where the horrible truth had been flashed before him in his friend's memories. In the few seconds he'd been inside of her thoughts he could see the way that Hank had vowed to do testing, to be sure, but Scott was certain that the results were wrong. There was no way Logan was gone. He was stronger than any enemy and what they had found couldn't be Logan.

Feeling rage and confusion overtake him, Scott felt his skin on fire, burning from the inside when he focused on the door in front of him. It was locked, clearly protected by the new security code that was put in each day to keep others from going inside. Still Scott hadn't wanted to bother with trying to figure it out. Instead he simply used his mind to make the most of the moment in seeking out his answers. With a flick of his wrist he tore open the thick metal door moving in to discover the adamantium laced arm submerged in blue liquid, presented before him in the midst of the lab. He took a step forward, turning his attention to the counter where Logan's ring lay upon it separated from the vials and glass jars before him.

"Scott," Ororo's voice called out to him from the hallway he'd just moved through.

"They're wrong," Scott decided hearing the sound of footsteps pulling him from his thoughts when he reached for Logan's ring. He squeezed it in his fingers fighting to ignore the damning evidence presented before him.

"It's not him," Scott answered readily, bound and determined to keep the weight of what he saw from tearing him to pieces, "It's all an illusion."

"I'm so sorry," she choked up on her words when she entered the room, "When we got there none of us anticipated what was happening. I went to find Christopher, but there was a sentinel and… Logan made his way upstairs first and…"

"No," Scott slammed his fist down on the countertop before turning to face her again, "this isn't him. This isn't how it's supposed to be."

"I didn't want to believe it either, but after the explosion…" her face dropped with the painful memory that had consumed her, "We couldn't find him. Either one of them…"

"You mean…" Scott's eyes widened at the weight of what she was saying to him.

"Logan was with Christopher at the top of the stairs. They were together before the explosion and…" she continued with tears behind her eyes.

"And what?" Scott pushed further. He took a step towards her when there was another sound that rose from the hallway.

"There was nothing any of us could do," Charles explained moving into the room in an attempt to take control of the situation happening in the lab. He stepped in closer to Scott placing himself between him and Ororo when his concerned eyes fell upon Scott, "We did everything in our power, but it was too late. We were too late…"

"No," Scott shook his head firmly. He clenched Logan's ring in his hand tighter than before when his teeth gritted, "I don't believe you."

"Scott," Charles attempted to reason with him, to explain the situation when Scott felt his stomach tighten with rage and anger.

"You're lying," Scott accused watching the way Charles was scrutinizing him. There was something that rang false in his words, something that felt wrong when Scott stood up taller and puffed out his chest, "Logan isn't gone. There's no way that he could be…"

"Scott, we were all there when it happened. None of us believed that it could be true, but the Hank's test results confirmed that…" Ororo began with an urgent breath. Her worried eyes shifted between Scott and Charles when Charles stood up taller.

"No it's a lie! The results are wrong!" Scott snarled in response when his skin grew hotter beneath the surface. His blood boiled, anger getting the best of him when he directed his rage at Charles, "This is nothing more than another lie he's fabricated to keep Logan and I apart."

"Scott, that's simply not the case. I haven't…" Charles opened his mouth to defend himself when Scott dug his fingers deeper into his own palms.

"Liar!" Scott accused taking a bold step forward, "I know this was all a setup. You did something…you manipulated all of us into believing that we were going to find my son, but you had an agenda. You planned this…"

"Scott, you need to calm down," Charles ordered in a firm, authoritative tone, "I can understand that you're upset given the news you've had thrust upon you, but…"

"No," Scott shook his head simply, "I know that you're a liar. I know what you've been trying to do, but like a fool I was too blind to see what was happening around me. You manipulated us."

"No, I was trying to bring you to Christopher," Charles continued in a smooth and even tone, "which is something Jean would've wanted."

"No, Jean would've wanted you to tell me the truth from the start. She wouldn't have relished the idea of you and Magneto raising our child without my knowledge," Scott stood up taller, "and anything that's happened to him is on your hands. Whatever you've done to him…"

"Charles doesn't have him," Ororo moved forward only to have Charles reach for her arm to prevent her from moving in closer to Scott.

"Is that what he told you?" Scott let out a pinched laugh, "Has he been spouting off about how he's tried to help us all through the years? On second thought, let me answer that for you. I'm sure he's been talking about his dream, about his vision for all of us, but the truth is that the only thing that Charles wants is for us to what he expects of us. He has no desire to allow us the luxuries of love and freedom."

"Scott, I realize that you're upset, but…" Charles attempted to defend himself when he took a step in closer to Scott.

"But what? Is this the point in time when you're going to try to erase my mind again so that I don't remember Logan's the love of my life?" Scott questioned with a low roar building in the back of his throat, "Or maybe this is where you take all of our memories from us so that you can manipulate the situation in your favor so that we don't question your nefarious behavior."

"Right now you need to try to calm down Scott," Charles held his hand out in the air, "Working yourself up into a frenzy will undoubtedly…"

"I know this is another illusion, so where are they?" Scott demanded when a surge of energy carried over him. His cheeks grew flushed, his eyes darkening with rage when his nails dug deeper into his own palm breaking through the skin, "What have you done with them?"

"Leave us Ororo," Charles instructed when the lab began to vibrate and shake around them giving way to the fury that consumed Scott in the moment.

"No, I don't think it's a good idea to…" she opened her mouth to protest when Charles raised his hand in the air. He took in a breath reaching out to her telepathically before she silently turned around and stepped out of the lab as if on cue with his prompting.

"Playing mind games again are we Professor?" Scott questioned with a snarl. His eyes flashed with rage, mind reeling with the memories of the life that Charles had stolen from him when he stood before his mentor armed and ready for a confrontation.

"She isn't needed for what we have to say to one another Scott," Charles explained in a smooth and even tone, "Your anger has nothing to do with her and having her here will only complicate things."

"Because you don't want her to know what kind of monster you truly are," Scott accused raising his voice. The room began to vibrate around them, turning into chaos when Scott glared down at his mentor, "You've lied to them for all this time. You've lead them to believe that you were all about peace and your dream, but that couldn't be any further from the truth now…"

"Scott, it was never my intention for things to end up as they have between us. I love you son and I've always wanted what was best for you. When I went out there with you and Logan I had fully intended upon you and Christopher being reunited. You must believe that…" Charles replied desperately.

"Lies! It's all lies!" Scott cut him off with a snarl, "Just like it was when you stole Logan from me the first time."

"No Scott that's not what this was. This was about bringing you and Christopher together so that you could…" Charles stopped when the walls of the lab shook harder than before. Looking around the room Charles attempted to keep things under control when he pushed himself into Scott's mind, "Scott, please let me help you!"

"Help me?" Scott repeated with a labored breath, "Just like you did before when you stole my time with Logan away from me? When you forced me to forget him…?"

"That's not what I was trying to do. I had no choice, but to make that decision Scott because I knew that living with the truth would destroy you," Charles replied sending the weight of his words into Scott's mind, "I wanted to bring you peace."

"Logan was my peace," Scott mouthed defiantly, "I loved him with all that I was, but you wouldn't allow it. You wouldn't give me the freedom to follow my heart because it didn't fit into your agenda for me."

"You were confused and lost. I was protecting you Scott," Charles countered with a small scowl, "I wanted to keep you protected-to safeguard you at all costs…"

"No, you wanted to keep me at bay," Scott took a step back in feeling the weight of Charles pushing his telepathic powers inside of him, pulling at his mind to tear him to pieces. He could feel the twisting of his thoughts, the bitter anguish that Charles was ready to thrust upon Scott in his defiance to break him when Scott sucked in a sharp breath, "You never wanted me to leave this place and that's why you lied to me. That's why you withheld the truth about my history with Logan!"

"I wanted to keep you safe Scott. That's all I've ever wanted for you son," Charles continued to work to reach out inside of him, to use his powers to attempt to soothe the rage and anger much as Charles had attempted in the past, but this time Scott wasn't helpless. This time his powers had changed, hade made him stronger when Scott met him with resistance building upon the growing fire inside of him.

"Liar!" Scott snapped in an attempt to break free of the mental hold Charles had upon him. He could feel his thoughts of Logan rushing forward, ready to crumble at the influence Charles was pushing into him. Like before Charles was attempting to work at stealing the secret thoughts he'd harbored, to break him in an attempt to control him.

"Don't fight me on this Scott," he could almost hear Charles inside of his head, coaxing him to give in, to surrender to the moment when Scott felt himself back in his youth struggling to find the truth about Logan's absence in his life.

"The only way to find peace and freedom is to simply let go. Let me put your mind at ease," Charles continued to instruct, pushing his way into Scott's subconscious in an effortless attempt at placating Scott in the moment.

"No!" Scott gritted his teeth. He staggered back in the room, struggling to find clarity when his body tensed up at the invasion.

"You know I'm right Scott. Harboring all of this anger and distrust will only serve to destroy you, to harm you if you don't let go," Charles suggested creating a warmth inside of Scott, surrounding him with something he hadn't felt in quite some time.

"Don't," Scott warned sharply in an attempt to collect himself, to remember he wasn't that troubled teenager any longer. He'd evolved becoming something more. He was someone that Charles couldn't manipulate, couldn't control as he felt Charles trying to twist his thoughts. An ache carried over Scott's temple causing a throbbing pain inside of him when he staggered on the cold, tile flooring, "Stop this!"

"I just need you to try to calm down Scott. It will be easier for you if you just let me in long enough to…" Charles explained in a desperate attempt at regaining control of the situation. The force of his power caused Scott to waiver, to slide back against the counter. His fingers stretched out, coiling over the countertop when his knees started to buckle. He could feel his life surround him, taking him back to his youth when he'd once believed in the dream, in the hope that he would live up to the expectations that Charles had for him. Time and time again he'd believed he'd failed his mentor, that he'd never been good enough, yet with Charles inside of him, attempting to warp his perception, he struggled to keep control of his mind, to protect his memories before they were no longer a part of him.

"I won't allow you to steal my mind from me. I won't let you take it all away from me again!" Scott recoiled sending glass containers crashing down on the floor all around him. The sound exploded in the room catching Charles off guard when Scott stood up taller and lashed out at Charles.

"You won't take my serenity ever again!" Scott stumbled backwards attempting to get a grip on his waning control when he attempted to fight back and push his way into the mind of his mentor in an attempt to break the hold Charles had on him.

"Son, if you'd only listen to reason…" Charles spoke up in a firm, commanding tone.

"There is no reasoning with you," Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth, "especially not when your agenda has been to erase Logan from my life."

"Logan's gone," Charles offered up with a poignant sigh, "We did everything that we could to save him, but…"

"Just like you tried to save him at Stryker's compound?" Scott cut back sharply when he watched his mentor's face drop, "Did you think that I wouldn't remember what really happened after Stryker's attack on Logan's cabin? Do you think I wouldn't ever realize what you'd done in leaving him there?"

"I had no choice Scott!" Charles sent another surge of power running through Scott causing him to stumble backwards.

"Oh you had a choice, but you made the wrong one," Scott felt a warmth slide out over his body, moving into his hands when flashes of the past carried over him. He could see himself as a teen being at Logan's cabin. He could remember the fear that he'd felt when Victor had found him. The fight that had followed had rendered him helpless, a victim to madness until Logan had somehow reappeared. The rest of it was a blur, an endless race to freedom until Charles had arrived. They should've been safe, but Charles had decided against saving them both. He'd left Logan behind.

"You knew that he needed your help. You saw that he was confused, but more so you must've realized that I loved him," Scott tossed back in accusatory tone, "Even if he was lost at the time he still remembered that we belonged to one another. He knew he loved me on an instinctual level."

"You only had a short time together. It was only a few days so for you to call it love…," Charles scoffed at Scott's words.

"I learned more of love in those few days with Logan, then I'd ever experienced here," Scott remarked sourly when he gripped the countertop behind him, "Logan saved me when I needed him the most…"

"And you took that gratitude and were going to allow it to take you down a dark path Scott-one that would've made you miserable. You have no idea what loving a man like Logan could bring to your life," Charles softened his tone when his face creased with emotion, "You don't know what it's like to be with someone who is beyond your saving. To watch them self destruct around you without any hope for salvation…"

"Logan wasn't self destructing. He was searching for redemption-for a future after his past was stolen from him," Scott argued with him.

"A man like Logan has his rage and his anger. Those are two very volatile things Scott and while you thought you could handle it in your youth you and I both know you weren't ready for that," Charles continued disapprovingly, "Given all of what Logan had endured, it was only bound to take him down a path of violence and retaliation."

"You're not talking about Logan anymore," Scott could see clearly when the thoughts Charles carried betrayed him, "It was never about saving me from Logan."

"Of course it was. It was about saving you from yourself. From…" Charles attempted to defend his position once again.

"From making your mistakes all over again. Just because you decided that you couldn't save Erik didn't mean that what Logan and I experienced would turn out the same way," Scott mouthed in response. His blue eyes widened, thoughts drifting out into the place that Charles had kept buried inside of him for so very long, "That's what it was, wasn't it? You saw me going down the same path you did and…"

"It was a long, hard road with Erik and given all I've done to protect you Scott," Charles attempted to push Scott out of his mind, to shield his betraying thoughts again, "You have no idea what kind of sacrifices I have made to keep you out of harm's way. Scott, you're everything to me in ways you can't even begin to understand-with things that…"

"That what?" Scott questioned when he found himself surrounded by another memory Charles had fought like hell to keep away from the rest of the world. He could see Charles and Erik together long before Scott had been a part of the world, back before Erik had been jaded, immersed in a time when their union had been stronger than ever. They'd been friends, intimately linked to one another in ways that Charles had longed for. He could see a part of their history, a reminder of a life that Charles had left behind. For an instant Scott found himself remembering when he'd witnessed similar experiences in Erik's head, back when they were all trapped at the facility with one another. In those few seconds Magneto's memories had been distorted, jumbled by Scott's lack of control, yet as Scott could see the same thoughts mirrored in Charles he found himself immersed in a darker, forbidden memory that Charles had wanted to put behind him. He could see clearly the fallout between the two men, the deception that had followed and the secret Charles had kept hidden from his one time friend and confidant. It was the one truth he'd been ashamed of, the one thing that Charles had held onto locked and buried by lies until Scott had taken a look inside and realized the shocking truth.

"No!" Scott gasped horrified by the turn of events in the thoughts his mentor carried with him. He staggered backwards, gripping his head again when Charles pushed Scott out of his mind.

"Scott, I know none of this makes any sense at the moment, but…" Charles attempted to reason with him, to take advantage of the moment of surprise Scott had immersed himself in.

"Stop," Scott pleaded when his mind ran rampant with thoughts. He gritted his teeth clenching onto Logan's ring tighter than before when the world around him began to spin, taking him from rationality to rage with Charles inside of him, attempting to pull him down from emotion long enough to subdue him once again.

 _"If he takes you under, then you'll never find Christopher or Logan,"_ the voice inside Scott's head warned, struggling to keep Charles out when Scott doubled over at the weight of the invasion in his head, _"He'll do to you what he did to the others…"_

"Scott, if you just let me soothe your pain, then we can fix this. We can discuss what you think you know and…" Charles spoke up smoothly, his voice reaching out in a warmth meant to massage away the demons, to take away the horrors that surrounded him when Scott forced himself to stand upright.

"No!" Scott regained control of his thoughts. In his clarity he found the power that had been eating away at him suddenly channeling it to fight back against his mentor.

"Scott…" Charles strained against the invasion when his powers pushed further into Scott, attempting to break Scott down before him.

"I won't be a prisoner to your truths any longer," Scott vowed standing his ground when he pushed back in a telepathic wave of force before seeking out the truth behind the lies Charles told him.

 _"He wants to make you weak. He wants to erase all that you are so that you don't let them know his truth. You're the one thing standing between him and his secret. You can't allow him to do this any longer Scott…"_ the voice cajoled Scott on further, _"You can't let him take away all you've ever known…"_

"Don't," Charles recoiled surprised by the wave of power Scott carried with him. It was enough to cause Charles to stumble and drop down to his knees clenching his hands to his head before taking in a breath, "Stop it Scott!"

"No!" Scott's voice echoed inside of his mind, "Tell me where they are! Confess your sins Charles."

"Scott…" Charles choked up on the word when the weight of Scott's intrusion in his mind began to take it's toll upon him.

"Confess!" Scott's voice roared through the room causing it to vibrate and echo throughout the wing of the school.

"I…I don't know where Christopher is," Charles raised his chin up, his eyes clouding over with tears when Scott continued to search his mind, fighting to break through his defenses in the name of discovering the truth, "but I believe he's out there. If we work together, then we can find him and…"

 _"He let you suffer. He put you in that situation to begin with all because he was too afraid to share his truths. You were a burden to him Scott…a horrible, dirty secret he wasn't willing to share…"_ the voice continued to taunt Scott further, _"He was embarrassed of you and what you came to be."_

"Scott," Charles pleaded with him.

"No, you lied to me," Scott snapped when his lower lip quivered at the force of impact he was using to penetrate his mentor's thoughts, "You could've changed things, but you refused."

"I was all out of options," Charles explained desperately, "If I could've done things different…"

"Different?" Scott questioned in a pinched hiss, "You know the suffering I endured. You saw the isolation I lived through when the truth in sanctuary was within my reach all along. You allowed your fears to condemn me, to take me away from the life that should've been rightfully mine."

"I never intended for you to endure the monsters Scott. I wanted you to live the good life, to be free of the burden of your past and my mistakes…" Charles choked up on his words when his face grew flushed.

"You wanted to cover up your sins. You wanted me away so that you would never be held accountable for them," Scott mouthed with a bitterness building in the back of his throat, "You stole my life away from me all to keep you from crashing over the edge with yours. How many lies you must've told through the years…"

"You deserved more Scott. You should've had freedom from the madness, from the scrutiny and…" Charles appealed to him once again.

"You call this freedom?" Scott questioned pulling at the top of his hospital gown to reveal the scars that carried over his flesh from his time imprisoned by Stryker's men. It was the one thing that he couldn't erase from his past even with his healing powers, "Do you honestly believe this was the better choice?"

"It was the only choice I had Scott," Charles offered up desperately when the walls of the room shook violently around them.

"You handed me over to the wolves all so that you could hide your truths from the man you loved, then you took it upon yourself to hide me from the man I'm meant to be with," Scott snarled feeling himself weightless when he rose up higher with his feet pushing off of the floor to levitate him in the room. He twisted his hand, balling it into a fist when the metal exam table across the room started to twist and bend itself with an unnatural ease. It made a loud, screeching sound, bending in ways that Scott had only seen one other man do in the past.

"Look what I've become," Scott's voice felt foreign, his thoughts outside of himself when he felt a rush of energy overtake him, perverting his thoughts and pulling him from serenity to madness, "I'm the terror you fought to bury inside of you, the sin you never allowed yourself to readily embrace. I'm just as you feared. I'm just like him…"

"Scott no," Charles cried out when the metal cabinets around them crushed inward, squeezing in a tight press and obliterating their foundation with a flick of Scott's wrist. The glass containers followed shattering all around them when Scott rose higher off of the ground.

"I didn't understand it before, but now it's crystal clear," Scott's eyes narrowed in on Charles. Raising his right hand up, he pulled Charles from the ground, bringing him up from his knees when Scott focused on searching the thoughts locked away in Charles' mind, "Now that I know what I am…"

"Stop this Scott!" Charles squeezed at his head tighter than before while fighting to keep Scott from reaching the dark secrets inside of him.

"I'm tired of being manipulated-of having you play me again and again," Scott continued to lash out at him mentally, "You knew what I lost and…"

"Everything I did was to protect you," Charles spoke up in a pained voice, "son."

"No," Scott shook his head adamantly, "you did it to protect yourself and your secrets. You didn't want me to see the truth. You didn't want me to know what I was even though you knew from the start. You realized what I would become and now you know that I'm stronger than you-that I can take you under."

"Don't do this. I love you Scott," Charles blurted out breaking through the silence that surrounded them, "I've always loved you."

"Not enough to save me," Scott's voice echoed through the room, "not enough to go beyond protecting yourself…"

"Doing this won't bring you peace Scott," Charles groaned outwardly when he fell to the floor, "Logan's gone."

"So you say…" Scott remarked sourly when he felt the white, hot burn of the flames surround him giving him one last opportunity to surrender to the power inside of him.

 _"We'll find the truth. We'll force it out of him,"_ the voice promised as Scott closed his eyes knowing only too well that from here on out there was no turning back.

xxxxx


	40. Chapter 40

Energy coiled over Scott's body causing an increasing awareness to rush over his every synapse. Suddenly it was as if everything and nothing had come into focus, giving him the illusion of stepping outside of himself. Every breath, every whisper, every rush of sensation fell upon him making him even more aware of himself and those around him than he'd ever been in his life. Closing his eyes he could hear the sound of a bedroom door slamming and the rev of an engine floors above where he stood underneath the school. He could smell hot chocolate in the kitchen while hearing laughter from students in the foyer. Their sounds surrounded him, clouding his head with thoughts he was certain he shouldn't be having. Beyond that he could feel every beat of his own heart pulsating inside of him, marching to an increasing rhythm. It echoed in his mind bringing him to sensory overload with a newfound awareness of all that surrounded him. The temperature, the smells, the sounds…they carried over him in an overwhelming push, reaching down into his system, burning into his brain when he struggled to remember what he was doing. He closed his eyes again in hearing children levels above him engaging in a round of hide and seek. He could hear Marie warning another student across the school not to run down the hallway. There was the another sound of an engine gunning in the garage indicating someone was now leaving. There was laughter, snoring, the sound of other hearts beating beyond his own and whispers. So many whispers.

 _"Is this what Jean felt like?"_ he thought to himself wondering if she'd been overwhelmed by her powers. For a moment he thought back to the nightmares she'd experienced, to the way she'd been lost within herself.

 _"Tell me that I'm wrong Scott,"_ Jean's voice echoed in his mind taking him back to a place and time where things were very different for them, _"Tell me that I'm not losing you-that I'm not losing me."_

 _"I promise that I'll never let anything hurt you Jean,"_ Scott could hear his own voice in his promise before taking her into his arms. He could remember how he'd longed to fulfill that promise, to be the man she needed even when his heart was conflicted.

 _"Aren't you going to welcome me home?_ " Logan's voice entered into his mind reminding him of how far he'd fallen in his promise to stay true to Jean. It had been a taunt, a dare and Scott had realized that he'd never had a choice in the matter where his loyalty had been concern. His heart had decided long before he and Jean were together that he was Logan's.

 _"I love you Logan,"_ Scott could hear himself desperately trying to hold onto their life together, to be where he'd always longed to in his life with the man who had saved him all those years ago.

 _"You have a son Scott,"_ he could hear Charles inside of him reminding him of the responsibilities that he'd placed upon himself.

 _"We need you Scott,"_ Ororo's words moved into the mix adding to the chaos in his mind.

 _"You'll never find peace boy,"_ Stryker's taunts echoed in his mind bouncing off of the memories of blood and chaos that surrounded him.

 _"I'm going to make you scream!"_ Victor's snarl entered into the mix when Scott felt a jolt of recall upon him.

He dropped down to his knees clenching his head in his hands when all of the voices intermingled in one tangled mess of a melody, each one poking and prodding at the man he was before them. With each word the sounds grew louder, increasingly jumbled when heat built up inside of him, stirring up a fire in his abdomen. There was a sense of confusion, of the scattered noises in his head moving beyond where he was in the moment when he closed his eyes tightly.

 _"As long as you continue to live in denial, you'll never be free,"_ Emma's words echoed in his mind when Scott found himself back at the lake lost inside of himself. He could remember the smoke and the haze, the way that he'd felt weak and depleted after Jean had kissed him. He could remember her mouth over his, the way that energy spiked between him before sending him across the shore into a dark, hidden place.

 _"Just hold on,"_ he heard another voice calling to him when he felt himself pulled from the rubble, taken from the wreckage back to a place where…

"No," Scott mouthed to himself when he could see himself on the table again strapped down and experimented on in his youth when the nightmare began.

 _"He's going to be one of the most powerful mutants. If we aren't careful he could destroy us all,"_ an unrecognizable voice carried through his mind, _"Given his beginnings…"_

 _"I'll protect you Scott,"_ Charles had promised when he'd rescued Scott from the facility for the first time. It was the one truth Scott had believed in. It was the one thing Scott had held onto when Charles was the first voice in his head.

 _"That was not my intention, nor did I ever want for any of this son,"_ Magento's voice rose above the others taking Scott to the damning thoughts Charles had kept hidden from the rest of the world.

 _"Don't do this Scott,"_ he could hear Charles beg, warning him to hold back, to refrain from embracing the raw heat in the fire that surrounded him. He could see his mentor on his knees doing his best to keep Scott from his mission when Scott had lost sight of himself.

 _"You know what you must do,"_ a voice instructed as Scott looked down to the blood on his hands unable to remember where it had come from. In an instant the world around him began to spin, taking him from clarity to distortion struggling to remember what he was doing.

In an instant Scott felt life as he knew it shattered, torn to pieces by the weight of his mentor's lie. Squeezing his fingers into his thick, dark hair Scott struggled to banish the thoughts, to focus on anything, but the truth when a voice inside of him caused him to crash down on the ground again lost inside of himself in a series of sobs and tears. One by one the emotion he'd fought like hell to keep buried inside of him came out in an outpour revealing all the pain and frustration he'd kept buried through the years. It overwhelmed him, taking him from serenity to madness when the world around him changed shifting into something different when he found himself surrounded by hot, white light.

 _"Scott,"_ Jean whispered in the midst of his tears, _"Scott."_

 _"Wh-where am I?"_ he questioned feeling heat envelope him. For a moment awareness had left him, bringing him to confusion, to the place he'd been at before he'd evolved when he'd been terrified of the world around him.

 _"Come to me Scott,"_ Jean's voice beckoned him. It reached out into his soul carrying through his misery to coax him to follow her voice, to listen to only her.

"Jean?" he questioned choked up on emotion when he raised his head off of the ground. He looked around the corridor struggling to remember his place when the light intensified pulling the school out of his thoughts. Instead he found himself in a meadow surrounded by warmth and intensity when he looked up to see Jean before him with outstretched arms.

 _"Come to me,_ " her words echoed in his mind when her lips were upturned in a smile. She stretched her arms out further drawing emphasis to the soft, white dress she was wearing. Unlike the other visions of her he'd seen this one felt more peaceful, serene as she floated above the grass guiding him to join her in the meadow, _"We've been waiting for you."_

"We?" Scott questioned hearing the sounds of footsteps rushing through the grass. There was laughter that followed-a child's laughter as Scott turned his head towards the source of the sound. Just beyond his reach he could see the top of a boy's head covered in dark curls as he chased a butterfly in the distance, "Christopher?"

 _"We've been waiting for you to find us Scott,"_ Jean's voice filled put his mind at ease reminding him of what he'd been seeking out, _"Now you're here."_

"Where are we?" Scott questioned puling himself up off of the ground to take a step towards her. His eyes turned to Christopher again watching as he continued to chase after the blue and yellow colored butterfly with laughter all around him. Christopher reached out into the air, joyously moving along barefoot in the grass when Jean touched Scott's arm gently.

"We're home Scott," Jean whispered over the back of his neck causing a warmth to spill out over his skin, "We're where we always were supposed to be."

"But…" Scott opened his mouth while struggling to remember what he'd been so miserable about before she'd appeared to him. He felt her fingers curl underneath his chin, coaxing him to turn towards her. Silently he did as instructed watching the way her hair seemed to move with the breeze that surrounded them. The wind picked up in the meadow, but the warmth was still ever present, calming the ache in his limbs.

"You're home," Jean's words rolled off of her crimson covered lips, coaxing him to sweet surrender. She arched in closer to him, her fingers sliding against the hollow of his cheekbone, carrying their warmth into his skin when her lips parted, "where you belong Scott."

"Where I belong," Scott repeated tipping his head down and watching the way her words radiated through her making her even more beautiful than he'd remembered. She was full of life and passion, the way she'd been when he'd first fallen in love with her. Her fingers pushed further into his hair, coaxing him in closer when her breath cascaded over his lips.

"With me…" she promised bringing her arm around his shoulders to draw him in for a kiss.

"Jean…" he attempted to pull back, to remember why a voice in his head was telling him that he should refrain from giving in. There was something inside of him warning to pull back and run from the moment, but before protest could carry over him he gave himself to the kiss in savoring the warmth of the woman he once loved at his side. Her arm squeezed around his shoulders, taking him further away from his reality when their lips collided.

 _"I've waited so long to find you again Scott,"_ she slurred pushing her way inside of his thoughts when her lips parted to invite him inside of her.

"Am I lost?" Scott questioned thinking about the voice inside of him that had guided him on earlier. He could remember fighting with Charles, could recall the rage he'd felt, the anger and betrayal that had surrounded him in knowing of the lies he'd been immersed in over the deceptions Charles had presented him with. He was certain he was angry, but suddenly he couldn't remember why. He could feel the violence that had carried over him, could taste the bitterness on his lips, yet when Jean's arms surrounded him the memory started to fade away.

 _"I love you Scott,"_ Jean's words inside his head enveloped him, comforting him at a time when he'd been confused and angry. Something had been bothering him before she'd found him. Something horrible had happened to him, but he couldn't remember what it was exactly. It had infuriated him, yet he found himself struggling to remember what was upsetting him. Closing his eyes he felt himself surrounded by a memory, by another's welcoming arms when Jean attempted to appeal to him once again.

 _"Forget your misery and give yourself to me,"_ Jean coaxed him on further, _"Forget about the pain of the past when we have forever ahead of us."_

 _"Forever,"_ Scott repeated in his mind. He could see himself in another time and place at an alter with a ring in hand. He was pledging words of love to someone and meaning them with all of his heart, yet there was something keeping him from giving in to the memory. Someone was inhibiting his thoughts…

 _"What are you hiding from me?"_ he questioned silently wondering why his subconscious was preventing him from seeing the face of the lover beside him. He could feel the profound weight of the moment, could remember the joy he'd felt in finally finding his way to his true love, yet with Jean before him he'd realized it hadn't been with her.

 _"This isn't real,"_ Scott whispered breaking away from her embrace, _"This isn't where I belong."_

 _"Of course you do,"_ Jean's thoughts surrounded him, comforting him when he struggled to remember his life outside of the meadow.

"This isn't what I want Jean. This isn't where I began," Scott blurted out when Christopher's laughter surrounded him, drawing him to thoughts of the future before him. He closed his eyes trying to remember what he'd been fighting his entire life to hold onto. It was just within his grasp, yet the memory had been hazy. It was sliding further into the dark recesses of his mind, ready to be lost again when Scott could feel heat and desire carry over him in the fading memory.

 _"Don't strain yourself with the tediousness of days gone by. Focus on the here and now,"_ Jean urged him to let go, to forget about the ties that bound him to the world beyond where they were with one another.

 _"You lied to me!"_ Scott could hear himself arguing with Charles. He could feel himself fighting to keep himself in control, but his strength was waning. It was something he'd lost sight of, but with a rumble of vibration carrying over his skin, he could feel his anger reemerge once again. There was a flicker of a vision when Scott thought he saw Charles on the ground begging Scott for mercy.

 _"Come back to me Scott,"_ Jean pulled him from the memory, taking him deeper under her spell when he struggled to understand why he kept returning to Charles in his thoughts.

"Charles," he whispered in a buzz against her lips, "I'm angry with Charles because he lied to me. He stole…"

"Nothing that ever really mattered," she interrupted with a frown, "He gave us the opportunity to be together. He gave us the freedom to live our lives as a family with one another."

"But I'm furious with him Jean," Scott admitted drawing in a breath, "He stole something important from me. I can't remember what it is, but he knew it would hurt me in losing it."

"If he was able to steal it from you, then how do you know you weren't meant to lose it in the first place?" Jean questioned pushing her thumb over his bottom lip.

"I just know…it's a part of me…" Scott strained to remember anything beyond the moment of Jean, "It's who I am and…"

"Who you are is no relevance to where we are now. We're home at long last," Jean promised kissing him again with a newfound determination. Her fingers squeezed at his shoulders, massaging into his flesh when he found himself remembering another, distinctly different kiss. There was something that felt off with Jean, something that didn't seem right, yet the harder he tried to remember what was meant to be, the less the truth carried over him.

 _"Don't let go of me. I need you,"_ another familiar voice carried over his mind, causing him to stiffen against Jean, _"Please don't forget the truth Scott…"_

 _"About what?"_ he asked as Jean's tongue dipped inside of him, increasing the intensity of the kiss when his arm draped around her waist to pull her close to him, _"Why was I so angry?"_

 _"Because you'd lost me. You lost us,"_ she explained inside of his head, soothing his conflicting thoughts with a press of her hand against his cheek, _"You're home now Scott. There's no reason to ever turn back again."_

Wrapping Jean up in his arms, Scott found himself surrounded by warmth, by a moment of calm in following her voice. Maybe she was right. Perhaps he was home. She was working hard to convince him of that as he felt her coaching him to believe that he was where he'd always been intended to be with Jean at his side caring for their son. He thought of Christopher's laughter, of the way the sunlight carried over them bringing the moment beyond anything he'd anticipated. Jean's hands squeezed at his shoulders pulling him closer as their thoughts intermingled bringing them to unity with one another.

 _"I need you Scott,"_ she whispered inside of him. Her hands smoothed out over his back, coaxing him to move down onto the grass beneath them. She nudged him causing him to roll over the soft, green bed beneath them with sunlight overhead. She touched his cheek, her soft curves pressing into him as he felt suddenly out of place. Her hands eased over his side, squeezing at his hip when their lips parted.

 _"You're home Scott,"_ she promised touching his chest. She smoothed her fingers out over his abdomen, sliding down to his thigh when her legs surrounded him.

 _"Jean…?"_ he questioned feeling as if things were somehow wrong in having her over him. He attempted to clear his thoughts, to pull himself together when he began hearing a rumble in the distance beyond where they lay in the meadow.

"You're finally home," she pushed forward to kiss him again when thunder rumbled overhead. It was followed by a flicker of lightening in the distance when Scott's thoughts returned to Christopher.

"We should go find him," Scott broke away from the moment, "If we lose him…"

"We won't," Jean assured him when her hands pressed in over the front of his shirt.

"He shouldn't be out in a storm," Scott felt her nibble on his lip again in an attempt to silence him with a kiss. Her legs squeezed around him tighter than before, her hands began tearing away at his shirt to reach inside and touch his chest when warning bells went off in his head.

"Jean stop," Scott attempted to pull himself up into a seated position, "We need to find Christopher."

"We need to be together Scott," Jean instructed sliding in over his lap to pin him down beneath her, "Let's make love."

"Make love?" Scott repeated with wide eyes, "Jean…no…we have to find our son…to…"

"I've always wanted you to make love to me Scott," she curled her lip in a pout, touching his face again in an attempt to have him focus on her once again, "I've dreamt about what it would be like to have you want me-to be with me…"

"I am with you Jean, but Christopher…" Scott attempted to focus when another thought carried over him.

"Make love to me Scott," she pleaded kissing the side of his neck when the clouds overhead grew darker.

"Jean no…" Scott reached for her waist suddenly feeling her over him naked in their exchange. The meadow twisted taking them to a place where they were in the center of an oversized bed, surrounded by white lace and a canopy with one another. Silken sheets surrounded them adding a buffer to the skin to skin contact they shared when her lips moved over the side of his neck. Her hand reached down to his inner thigh, sliding up to touch him, to coax him to forget about Christopher when a warning bell went off in his mind.

"Jean stop!" Scott seized her shoulders and pushed her away from him when he found himself staring at a pair of surprised blue eyes.

"You know you want this," she attempted to cajole him to give in to temptation when her lips curved in a pout leaving Scott an opportunity to feel awareness surround him again.

"Emma!" he blurted out pushing away from the bed when he tried to place where he was. He looked around the room struggling to make sense of the visions in his head when Emma dropped the sheet she'd been wearing.

"Scott, you know we've both wanted this for so very long," she pleaded stretching her arms out towards him, "I can be anything you want me to be."

"No," Scott shook his head firmly, "this isn't right."

"I can be anyone," she added when the vision of Jean reappeared before him, "absolutely anyone."

"Emma no…" Scott began preparing to say something more when she shifted into a more familiar, welcome form. There before him on the center of the bed was the one thing his mind had damn near lost in the moment of manipulation.

"Come to me Slim," Logan's voice was firm and authoritative when he patted the bed beside him, "Forget about the world around us and just give in to temptation."

"This is all an illusion," Scott mouthed to himself when he brought his hands up over his head, "You aren't Logan."

"You didn't even remember Logan a few minutes ago," the voice of the man before him teased. He patted the bed beside him once again before wiggling his brow suggestively, "Maybe it's a sign that you want something more-something better."

"What are you?" Scott questioned shuffling across the room when there was a loud pounding sound echoing in the back of his mind.

"I'm the voice of your conscience," he explained kicking his legs over the side of the bed. Naked and amused he moved in closer to Scott with a predatory shift of his hips, "I'm providing you an escape while you do what needs to be done."

"No," Scott heard a scream, a sound that almost mirrored Charles when crashing followed. He blinked a couple of times, his mind struggling with what was happening to him when the imposter sauntered across the room towards him.

"I can be anything you want me to be Scott. Together we can do whatever we want," he chortled with amusement as he licked his lips, "We can go places together."

"Stay away from me! I want out of this!" Scott attempted to turn away, to force himself from the chaos that surrounded him. He noticed a door a few feet away, a large, thick, metal door that seemed just out of his reach.

"We can play nice," Logan's voice shifted as the imposter took on another more frightening form, "or we can do this the hard way!"

"No!" Scott shouted feeling nails digging into his shoulder, drawing him back into the room when Victor's hand surrounded his neck. He was blindsided caught up in a moment of confusion and chaos when Victor sent him down onto the center of the bed.

"Jimmy's had you to himself long enough," Victor leapt towards him ready to attack when Scott forced himself to blast up at his one time tormenter. His optic blast shot right through Victor when the room returned to blackness.

"Scott no!" Charles cried out bringing life to the emptiness when Scott trembled again. He fell to the floor lost inside of himself when the room around him changed taking him back to the school once again.

"Look what you've become," the voice inside of his mind taunted when Scott opened his eyes to discover the blood lingering upon his hands. It was embedded in his skin, down underneath his nails when he blinked in an attempt to keep the room from spinning around him. In an instant his life flashed before his eyes, taking him further into the depths of hell he'd endured in his youth. Every disappointment, every loss and every failure surrounded him preying on his insecurity one right after another. As a boy he'd been frightened, as a teen he'd been terrified and as a young man he'd been the dutiful son working to please his father figure in ways he thought would bring peace and clarity to his life. For years he'd fought to maintain control, to be more than what everyone expected him to be, yet in an instant that had all come crashing down around him. Before the change he'd been lost and afraid of his past, but now…with a blink of his eyes everything was painfully clear. He now knew who he was and what he'd been meant for. Madness was only the beginning when instinct overtook logic.

 _"Enough of the games. It's time to find them,"_ the voice coaxed him on further when Scott realized his mind was back to playing tricks on him. It had delayed him long enough, taking him from his mission when the scent of blood carried over him, burning at his nostrils. His hands were saturated with it, soaked in the deep shade of crimson he knew wouldn't wash away with his sins.

"No turning back," he vowed repeating the words the voice in his head offered up when Scott turned his attention to the door in front of him.

"Cerebro," he mouthed to himself knowing he would need a larger scope to provide himself with the answers he'd needed. With his mind slipping, he would need a renewed focus, a deeper capacity to keep him from losing Logan and Christopher. If his subconscious was able to take control again, then he was certain the results would be disastrous.

 _"You're running out of time,"_ the voice of madness inside of him instructed, _"You must hurry!"_

"Hurry," Scott mouthed to himself when he stood up taller. There was a brief warning in his subconscious trying to tell him about things he'd done, about the man he'd walked away from in anger. There were questions about the source of the blood on his hands, but it was secondary to his mission. There were forces against him trying to keep him from discovering the truth, from pushing him beyond his limits when he raised his hand in the air.

"Hurry Scott!" the voice ordered as Scott twisted his fingers watching the door open to reveal the chamber that had always been beyond his capabilities. He knew of the risks involved, of the way that Charles had been the one to hold the reigns of Cerebro and it's usage.

 _"It almost drove Jean to madness. You're too close to the point already Scott. We both know that. Doing this will take you over the edge,"_ his conscience was trying to remind him. It wanted to bring back logic, to take him to that place where he knew what was right and wrong.

"It's too late to worry about that," Scott mouthed knowing that his conscience was making one last effort to save him. However, that was long ago, far beyond where he'd come to in his life when he moved into the room prepared to do the one thing he'd always believed was out of his reach.

"I can't ignore them," he explained to himself more than anything when he found himself possessed by the task at hand.

 _"You must find them,"_ the insanity whispered driving him to take the steps he needed to situated himself. Taking in a breath he reached for the cold, metal before him knowing as Cerebro was powering up that there'd be no turning back.

xxxxx

Logan gasped, raising his head up once again when he felt an ache inside of him. His breath was ragged, mind lost inside of the madness that familiarity brought to him down in the basement dungeon he was somehow trapped inside. He could take in the scent of mildew in the air. He could remember the sour, stale stench of blood that surrounded him, the feeling of death that had engulfed him, but furthermore what followed was madness.

Shaking to break free of the chains that had bound him in the past, Logan felt the weight of memories he'd once had stolen engulf him bringing him back to that place where he was surrounded by Stryker's influence. He was back in Stryker's compound again taking in the heavy odor of death and suffering around him. He blinked a couple of times, trying to see through the darkness, but all he could locate was the sound of screams and agony through the darkness. He stepped forward straining to regain control of his thoughts when it was clear he'd once again returned to that horrible place Jean had taken him to in his mind. Only unlike before Jean was no longer present, but rather he was moving through his own subconscious taking a dark trip down memory lane in ways that he'd hoped were locked off forever. There was blood on the walls, at his feet, surrounding him when he moved towards a light, following the scent of fear until he stood on the threshold of a doorway looking in on a violent scene before him.

"No," Logan could hear himself crying out, screaming through the madness when all rationality was gone. He'd been stripped of a conscience, had his humanity stolen from him and all was left was the animal. He was surrounded by the beast, by the monster as Logan could feel himself immersed in the past, dredged down to a place where Scott had sworn reality had ceased to exist.

 _"He lied to you Logan,"_ an unfamiliar voice reached out inside of his head pulling him out of the momentary madness to hear the screams surround him once again, _"Scott was trying to protect you."_

"This isn't real," Logan clenched his teeth and carried his fists at his sides. He clenched them tighter than before thinking about the rage that built up inside of his chest.

 _"Scott knew the truth would bring you back to madness-that you would never accept what had happened because you've always felt you've failed him,"_ the voice coaxed him on further when Logan blinked again. He could see black mold on the stone walls of the basement he was in, could feel the toxic nature of his environment threatening to consume him when he looked down to his hands. They were covered in blood, some of which he strongly suspected wasn't his own. His chest was bare and coated in crimson as the tattered remains of his pants hung loosely around his waist torn into shreds. There'd been a struggle, one that was no more than a blur in Logan's mind when he gasped for air. He closed his eyes seeing faces and hearing screams, but they were all a blur. They were all one, big, violent sweep of nothingness before he'd found his way to this place, to this moment with Victor right around the corner.

_"Jimmy," Victor's voice rippled through the air, amusement carrying over his tone when Logan spotted Victor hovering over a makeshift table of sorts stretched out in the makeshift chair of horrors. He could see Scott stretched out, body bent and bruised in it's contorted state when Victor hunched over at the boy's side. Victor stood up, blood dripping from his chin, saturating his lips as he nodded to the smaller, pale body before him strapped down to the chair, "he's been waiting for you, ready to have a little fun."_

_Logan's eyes shifted to the sight before him, seeing the slashes in the otherwise smooth chest. He couldn't avoid hearing the sobs of the smaller boy before him knowing that he'd reached a breaking point. Fear was evident, terror saturating the room and filling it with the irreplaceable scent of madness. Stepping forward Logan lowered his eyes, taking in the familiar path of the body before him, sliding up over the bloodied abdomen, to the gnarled chest when Logan's eyes finally found their way to the boy's mouth, to the lips he wanted nothing more than to devour time and time again._

_"Take him Jimmy. He's ready for you," Victor taunted, goading him further into madness when Logan hovered over the boy he coveted._

_"Please…don't do this," Scott whimpered, his lip quivering with pain, with agony and misery, but as Logan touched his pale cheek, feeling lust radiate through his body caught up in the divide between right and wrong, he leaned forward licking a hot, wet line over the familiarity of the boy's neck, tasting the sweet agony that carried over him. He whimpered, his voice cracked with emotion behind his covered eyes, "please…don't…"_

_"He's come between us for far too long Jimmy," Victor goaded him further, "It's time to end this."_

_"End this," Logan repeated methodically, his lips surrounded by the taste of Scott's blood. His desire consumed him leaving him taken by the exquisite warmth of Scott's breath when Scott let out a whimper. He traced Scott's plump, bottom lip noticing the way it had been split in the struggle that had taken place before Logan's arrival. It had been clear from Victor's approving snarl that the only path to follow for Logan would end in madness._

_"Take him," Victor ordered his voice overtaken with darkness when Logan stepped in closer to inspect Scott's bruised body, "Play with him one more time before we eradicate his presence from our lives. We can end it now Jimmy. We can finally be together…"_

_"Together," Logan repeated in a voice that felt foreign to the man he was. It was primitive, animalistic and raw from the gritty feeling that had centered in his throat. It came out more so as a roar than anything else when Scott shuddered beneath him. He traced his finger over the hollow of Scott's cheekbone before leaning forward to sniff at Scott's neck once again. Yes, Logan hadn't remembered Scott at the time, but to Victor he'd made the perfect prey. His scent was all consuming, too irresistible to ignore when Logan placed a hand on Scott's hip._

_"Please," Scott bit down on his quivering lower lip once again, "don't do this."_

_"Teach him his lesson. Show him what you really are," Victor's amused laughter surrounded Logan, guiding Logan to reach out and squeeze his fingers over Scott's thigh in a rough, unrelenting grip._

_"Don't…" Scott sobbed unable to hold back on the fear that suddenly radiated through him. In those few seconds of Scott's tears Logan felt the animal push back stepping up in favor of the man who'd felt something for him. Even though Logan hadn't recalled who Scott was at that moment in time, there was something that carried over Scott, something that simply refused to give Logan an out when he blinked a few times. He remained frozen over Scott struggling to remember the things that Stryker had stolen from him hours earlier. He was straining to remember his name, to think of where he'd been, yet somehow in the process he'd been able to hold onto something that…_

_Stiffening Logan had felt himself immersed in the machine, going through the process of having his life stolen from him all over again. He could remember seeing Victor and Stryker together both working to bring him back to madness. He'd fought against it, struggled with the lab techs that were at his side, but ultimately they'd subdued him. He could remember the machine starting, the way that they'd attempted to take him under, but when it had proved useless once Logan's struggle had pushed the machine into overload, Stryker had improvised instead using chemicals to erase what Logan had held onto of his life. He could recall the needles, the temporary pain followed by the fading memory of the soft, smooth skin that he's savored and adored. He could feel tender kisses, whispers of love, but beyond that there was something that still lingered, something that the boy before him had triggered within._

_"Mine," Logan blurted out turning his attention to the slender boy laid out on the table before him. He was trembling, his soft sobs carrying over the moment when Logan realized he couldn't ignore what was happening inside of him. His eyes shifted from Victor to the table again thinking about Victor's request to end this. However, when the boy's lips parted Logan couldn't help, but feel the weight of what was happening surround him, "He's mine."_

_"Logan?" Scott questioned with a shudder when something registered inside of him. He turned his face towards the sound of Logan's voice when a moment of hope and color carried over his cheeks, "Logan, is that you?"_

_"Finish this Jimmy!" Victor snarled impatiently when Logan's hand pressed in over Scott's chest._

_The movement caused Scott to whimper when Logan realized his fingers were drenched in blood-Scott's blood. He ran his fingers over Scott's skin imagining how pliable it had been to his touch, how tempting it had been to taste when he'd claimed Scott as his own. Leaning in closer to Scott, Logan's pulse quickened. His mouth watered as he found himself craving the flesh before him, wanting to consume it in spite of the madness that surrounded him. He leaned forward sniffing the side of Scott's neck again when Scott gulped down hard. He could hear the sound of Scott's heart pounding in his chest, could feel the weight of Scott's fears upon him when he curled his fingers over Scott's hip in a possessive squeeze. Dropping his lips down to the side of Scott's neck again, Logan let out a small rumbling sound of satisfaction when his fingers curled tighter around Scott's slender frame._

_"Logan, what have they done to you?" Scott whimpered struggling against his restraints, "Logan, can you hear me? Whatever they've done to you, you have to fight it!"_

_"Finish this or I will," Victor announced pushing forward with his nails extended ready to drive them into Scott's flesh._

_"No!" Logan roared allowing his claws to extend when he slashed them through Victor's chest. The movement caught Victor by surprise when Logan shifted on his heel. He spun around to drive the claws on his other hand through Victor's abdomen with a violent twist._

_"Jimmy," Victor gasped for air when Logan slammed him into the stone wall at the edge of the room, "you aren't supposed to remember. You aren't supposed to choose him…"_

_"Monster," Logan snarled cutting and slashing at Victor with an unrelenting fury. With each stab he felt the rage engulf him driving him deeper into madness. He was a killing machine, an animal set to destroy the enemy. He was about blood and violence and…_

_"Ownership," Logan finally ceased his attack on Victor watching as Victor dropped to the ground. He'd been taken out if only for a few seconds when Logan turned around to look down at Scott once again, "You're mine."_

_"That's right," Scott whimpered twisting against his restraints, "I'm yours Logan and we have to get out of here. You have to help me so that we can…"_

_"I…I don't know…" Logan stammered struggling to get his thoughts together when he could feel flashes of the boy before him slip into his subconscious. At the time he couldn't place his name given what Stryker had done to him, but he could recognize his scent, could respond to his taste._

_"Help me…please," Scott begged of him with a ragged breath, "My glasses…they're on the table near the door. They are…"_

_"Glasses," Logan repeated realizing that the heavy black blindfold the boy was wearing had covered his eyes._

_"I need them," Scott added desperately, "We have to get out of here and…"_

_"Alright," Logan reached for the glasses pulling them from the table top that was filled with various surgical tools. He shuddered and growled before turning towards Scott with wild eyes. Reaching down he tore the blindfold from Scott's face before leaning in closer to him._

_"Put them on for me," Scott gulped down nervously when Logan did as instructed, "and help me get out of this."_

_Saying nothing Logan tore away at Scott's restraints ripping them away from his flesh effortlessly. They tore like paper, freeing Scott's reddening flesh. In an instant Scott tried to pull himself up, to move, but the blood loss he'd experienced had made him weaker, struggling to sit up on the table. His fingers were gnarled and bruised indicating more had happened to him before Victor had moved in on him. With shaky legs he attempted to slide his feet off of the table, but failed in his attempts._

_"You're mine," Logan repeated moving in to scoop Scott off of the table and into his arms._

_"That's right," Scott tipped his head up finally taking a first look at Logan through the darkness of the cell they were in, "I'm yours. I never thought I'd see you again. I thought that you were gone…that you were…"_

_"Dead," Logan felt the word linger on his lips when he cradled Scott in against his chest._

_"We have to get out of here Logan. We're in danger," Scott had warned with the same fear that Logan had felt upon entering the room. Without a second thought Logan squeezed Scott in against his chest and rushed out of the room bound and determined to escape the nightmare he'd awakened in. He could feel danger in the air, could sense the threat all around him when soldiers were all around them, attempting to take everything from Logan again._

_"Don't let him leave! We won't lose Weapon X again!" Stryker's voice echoed in his mind, "Get the prisoners!"_

_"Hurry," Scott had pleaded as Logan felt flashes of the scene before him fill his mind._

_He could remember setting Scott down in a corner of the hallway before giving way to madness, blood and horror when he'd managed to tear the soldiers before him apart limb for limb. They'd tried to take Logan down, but the harder they pushed the more he fought back creating a scene of gnarled madness on the path to freedom. With each attempt they'd made at preventing the escape, the more Logan had lost himself to madness, to the animal within going into a berserker rage until finally all that surrounded him was instinct._

_"Logan," he could hear Scott's horrified voice call out to him, attempting to pull him from his darkness when Logan stood in the center of a bloodied hallway, drenched with the remains of the soldiers that had attempted to subdue him. Stryker had disappeared, lost in the battle when Logan turned to face Scott again. His nostrils were flaring, mind empty of all things rational and human when he honed in on Scott's broken body before him. With his claws still unsheathed he stepped forward thinking about the savory morsel before him, knowing that it was his, wanting to consume it when Scott's face drained of all color._

_"Logan, listen to me. We need to get out of here. We need to…" Scott began in a desperate pant when Logan crouched down before him. His claws pushed out further against the wall beside Scott's head when he studied the boy before him. He sniffed taking in the intoxicating aroma when Scott used every ounce of strength he had to pull his bruised hand up to stroke the side of Logan's face. The movement felt soothing, comforting as Logan closed his eyes and practically purred._

_"Mine," he repeated again and again feeling the low drawl of a purr carry over him in knowing that he'd found his way back to his mate, to the one that Stryker had wanted him to forget._

_"What did they do to you?" Scott questioned poignantly, his fingers shaking in against Logan's cheek, "Logan, look at me."_

_Logan opened his eyes obeying his command when he searched his reflection in the sunglasses before him. He could see the blood on his face, the wild feral expression that had overtaken him when madness enveloped the both of them._

_"No!" Logan pulled back forcing his hands to the sides of his face when he found himself struggling against the man he once was and what he'd become._

_"Logan, listen to me. Please come back to me. Whatever they did to you, I know you can fight it. I know that you're still in there…" Scott whimpered when Logan turned away with a roar, "Logan, I love you."_

_Hearing Scott's words Logan stopped abruptly. He took in a few heavy breaths before making a decision. Marching forward he scooped Scott up in his arms again before following the path he'd known long ago. He couldn't remember it from more than instinct alone, but it was enough to provide them an escape, to take them from the darkness that threatened to take them under when the hallway began to shake and shudder around them._

_"You aren't going anywhere Wolverine," Stryker's voice echoed, cloaked in madness when another sound erupted from the far end of the hall._

_It was then that Logan watched the door blow off of the cell at the end to reveal the two men that had emerged from beyond the walls of the hell Logan had been transported to. They were different than those who worked for Stryker, somehow stronger than the soldiers as Logan looked to the metal helmet one of them wore. The other was bald with tension creasing over his features. Together they caused the world to erupt around them, the compound to shake with their fury as Logan gripped onto Scott tighter than before. A few seconds later others followed their arrival into the corridor indicating that help was there. Stryker's soldiers fought back, blasting their weapons at the strangers when Logan ducked for cover. He held Scott in against his chest, trying to protect him from the madness when everything turned into a blur._

"No," Logan gasped raising his head to find himself back in his prison cell. He could see the past behind him in vivid color, could remember how close to losing himself he'd been when he'd found Scott. He hadn't remembered the man he'd been hours earlier, yet the memory of Scott Summers had imprinted itself into his DNA. His feelings for Scott had been so deeply embedded in his system that despite Stryker's attempts at erasing all traces of the man Logan was with Scott, he'd managed to hold onto it. He could see the boy he'd discovered in the snow, the one that he'd taken back to his cabin and eventually fallen in love with.

"We were together," Logan realized aloud when memories came pouring out from within. He could see him and Scott together, making love for the first time in his cabin back before chaos had surrounded their lives. They'd needed one another, wanted to be together and for a brief, flickering moment in time they had been. They'd been in love and needing one another as Logan found himself struck by another memory of a much younger version of Scott beside him in the old, burned down cabin in Logan's bed.

_Sunlight filtered in through the uncovered window to the bedroom as Logan lay on his side tracing his index finger over Scott's spine to trace every beautiful line of his back now that the sheet barely covered the irresistible man that lay asleep on his stomach beside Logan lost in his dreams. Unlike the nightmares that had haunted Scott when he and Logan had first spent the nights together Scott seemed at ease, contented by their connection in ways that Logan hadn't anticipated. When Logan's finger dipped in underneath the sheet to trace over the smooth, muscled curve of Scott's bottom Logan felt Scott twist beneath the sheets with a soft murmur of a breath._

_"At least tell me how gorgeous I am before you decide to take advantage of me," Scott teased twisting his head on the pillow when Logan's palm settled in over Scott's bottom in a light squeeze. With the movement Logan scooted in closer to Scott loving the way that Scott looked beside him bathed in sunlight with his dark lashes closed over his eyes._

_"Where would the fun be in that?" Logan teased leaning over to press a kiss over Scott's shoulder._

_"It could be a lot more fun if you hand me my glasses," Scott suggested reaching out over Logan's shoulder to feel for his glasses on the nightstand. When Scott discovered they weren't there he couldn't help, but frown._

_"I suppose I can do that," Logan teased bringing them up from where he'd been holding them to place them on Scott's face. Once they were secured in place he felt Scott relax in beside him._

_"Thank you," Scott whispered touching Logan's cheek as they lay together in the center of his bed._

_"It was nothing. I had them for a while before you woke up just in case I felt compelled to rouse you from your dream to…" Logan smiled back at Scott._

_"I meant for everything," Scott wrinkled his nose at Logan's words, "I know I've been a pain in the ass lately, but…"_

_"No, you really haven't," Logan squeezed at Scott's bottom once again, "In fact if anything you've brought life to this old place in ways I never imagined possible."_

_"It really does have character," Scott nodded to the room that surrounded them, "It's rustic, yet charming."_

_"Thanks," Logan replied with a small laugh, "I really only had the thoughts of a roof over my head when I put it together.'_

_"You built it?" Scott's voice was overtaken with surprise._

_Logan nodded, "Yeah. As I said before I had a lot of time on my hands."_

_"Clearly, but for what it's worth," Scott's arm draped around Logan's shoulder once again as he twisted beneath the sheet, "I adore it."_

_"Now I know the cold has gotten to you," Logan wrinkled his nose in a tease._

_"No I'm serious," Scott pulled Logan in closer to him, "I love this place because in spite of the situation that's around us, it means everything to me because it's the place where I fell in love with you."_

_"Fell in love with…" Logan's jaw dropped as Scott pulled Logan in over him._

_"I know it's kind of soon to be saying it, but I'm falling in love with you Logan," Scott let out a nervous laugh, "It's crazy I know and if you're not feeling it too, well, I can understand, but given all we've experienced over the last few days together…"_

_"I must love you because honestly I'd probably be telling you to shut up otherwise," Logan teased dipping down to steal a kiss from Scott's nervous mouth._

_"Or perhaps you're just simply saying it because you're looking for other means of shutting me up," Scott arched up off of the mattress into Logan again._

_"Maybe, but for what it's worth I don't think you'd object to that," Logan slurred dipping down to place a tiny bite over the side of Scott's neck. Smiling to himself he traced his tongue over Scott's soft skin as Scott released a tiny whimper of a breath._

_"Not in the least just as long as I'll have enough energy inside of me when it's time for us to leave," Scott sighed falling back onto the pillow with Logan over him._

_"I promise you'll have plenty of time for that after we spend the morning in bed together," Logan assured him with a tiny growl in knowing that for the first time in a very long time he found himself optimistic for the future with Scott Summers at his side._

"We belonged to one another," Logan realized when it suddenly dawned in on him what Scott had been struggling to tell him over the last couple of weeks. There in his subconscious after everything had taken place the truth about their beginnings with one another was evidently clear. Wanting Scott hadn't started at the school, but rather years earlier when he'd been lost and in need of saving. In a night everything had changed for Logan and together they'd found something that ran deeper than either one had anticipated, "He was always mine."

"Unfortunately so," Victor remarked with an air of distain in his voice as he stepped into the cell, "which has always proven to be a problem for us."

"Victor," Logan frowned raising his head up to see his long time rival standing before him with a smug expression on his face.

"No matter what I said or did you just wouldn't quit that little bitch," Victor shook his head disapprovingly, "I tried to tell you time and time again that he would take you under, but you wouldn't listen."

"What have you done to Scott?" Logan demanded twisting against the chains that held him against the wall.

"I'd worry less about what I did to your boy toy and more about what I'm going to do to you," Victor bridged the distance between them. He reached out cupping the side of Logan's face in hand, squeezing at his face before a sadistic smirk carried over him, "You didn't really think this was going to end any other way, did you?"

"It will when I take your damn head off," Logan snarled wrenching against his restraints when Victor let out a long, amused laugh.

"Oh Jimmy, do you really think that you're going to be able to overpower me this time?" Victor wiggled his brow suggestively before taking a step back, "We've played this song and dance with one another so many times that I've perfected the art of the hunt. This time I've taken great measures to ensure that you won't be able to break free from my hold on you."

Tapping on the chains that kept Logan caged against the wall, Victor's grin expanded, "What do you think? They're my own personal creation. I'll bet you didn't think I had it in me."

Logan twisted against the wall before taking in a deep, shuddering breath of realization, "Adamantium."

"That's right," Victor stood up taller. He puffed out his chest and laughed, "It's one hell of a thing to track down, but once you find it and know how to work with it, well, the possibilities are endless."

"So that's what you've been seeking it out for," Logan deduced with a scowl, "to keep me captive."

"No," Victor corrected with a shake of his head, "to destroy your life. To take away everything you've claimed for yourself since you foolishly decided to turn your back on me. Do you have any idea how many years this plan has been in motion Jimmy? Do you have any inclination of how many endless hours I put into perfecting this?"

"It wasn't damn near enough," Logan twisted against the chains, "because I'll find a way out of this and when I do…"

"Jimmy, by the time you can figure out a way to escape you won't want to," Victor reached out to smooth his fingers over the side of Logan's beard, taking the time to slide his nails over his skin in a slow, gradual graze, "When I'm finished with you the only thing you'll ever crave is to please me-to be by my side as we always should've been."

"Fat chance Bub. It's never going to happen," Logan snarled pulling away from Victor's hold on him.

"On the contrary," Victor reached for a chunk of Logan's hair, gripping it tighter to hold Logan in place, "you'll do everything and anything I ask of you no questions asked. Once I'm finished with the process at hand, there will be no more room for error. Unlike Stryker, who was far from perfecting the procedure, I've found a way to eradicate the weakness inside of you. I'll keep it from destroying you as I rip the memory of Cyclops from your mind permanently."

"I'll never let that happen. Neither will Scott," Logan thrashed against his chains again.

"On the contrary Jimmy," Victor chuckled with amusement, "it's already begun. Your precious Cyclops believes you to be dead and it's taken quite a toll on him."

"Dead?" Logan repeated watching as the sadistic smirk carried over Victor's lips.

"What? You didn't think I hadn't planned all of this out to the last detail?" Victor's grin expanded, "Considering the pain in the ass Scott has been for us, I knew that this time I'd have to give this one some thought. This time it would have to be big."

"What have you done?" Logan questioned with a snarl watching as laughter erupted from Victor's lips.

"It's rather genius really," Victor mused with a smile, "and thanks to your protective nature, well, it's given me the time to really put the wheels in motion on this one. Of course I needed a little help, but once I found it, well, the rest was a breeze."

Logan twisted against his restraints attempting to break free of them once again with a snarl.

"Struggle all you want, but it won't change anything. Just like all of your efforts weren't able to save Scott from his fate," Victor chortled with amusement, "Granted I knew that you liked them in need of saving Logan, but your mate has a rather tortured psyche now, doesn't he?"

"What do you know of Scott's…" Logan stopped himself when realization carried over him.

"I discovered that the obsession runs both ways for the two of you. For some reason beyond my comprehension you can't get rid of him no matter how many times I've tried to make it happen. In the same respect he isn't about to let go of you either," Victor stepped forward to push his fingers in against the side of Logan's face, "which meant that I needed to up the stakes in this situation. I needed to find a way to use what you felt against you. At first I was a little nervous that I'd fail considering that I wasn't sure what was happening to him, but now given your lover's current…situation, well the beauty of it is that he'll be his own undoing. In fact, I'm willing to guess that as we speak Scott Summers is doing everything in his power to destroy himself in ways he never imagined possible."

"What have you done to him?" Logan snarled pushing away from Victor's hold on him, "If you've hurt him, I swear I'll kill you. I'll…"

"You'll what? What can you possibly do chained up like this?" Victor taunted further, "Right now you're the last person to be making threats Jimmy. You should be thankful that I've been feeling as generous as I have in this situation."

"Like hell," Logan scoffed in response when he twisted against his chains again with more force behind his movements.

"Honestly, you have no idea how long it took me to put all of this into action…but with a little research and a push," Victor paused bringing his finger up to touch the side of his head with a sadistic smirk, "well, it seems we were able to exceed my expectations. Hell, I had no idea just how twisted your lover's psyche was until I decided to take a look inside of it."

"You mean you've…?" Logan's eyes widened with surprise when he thought of Scott's condition.

"Merely found a way to amplify what was happening inside of him with a couple of associates and I'm certain that as we speak Scott's unleashing his own personal hell on the world around him all because he's realized that he's never, ever going to be with you again," Victor mused proudly, "and in that realization it seems all hell is about to break loose. I couldn't have asked for more."

"You mean you're the one that's been behind what's happening to him?" Logan questioned feeling as if he'd been kicked in the gut at Victor's admission.

"I can't take all the credit for it given that I've had an unfair advantage for a very long time in all of this," Victor mused proudly, "Truth be told right about now I would imagine that Scott's beyond consolation in dealing with his nefarious mentor. Hell, I think it's safe to say that at this very moment that school you wasted so much time at is undoubtedly burned to the ground just like the rest of the life you tried to make for yourself away from me. Fitting, don't you think?"

"No!" Logan roared pulling on his chains with an unrelenting fury. He twisted and shook feeling the cuff on his wrist cut into his skin. However, with thoughts of Scott and the school on his mind, he found himself armed with a new mission of escape. He could feel his chains bending to his will, moving with hefty protest when Victor stepped forward and brought his fist into the side of Logan's face.

"Sorry Jimmy," Victor reached into his pocket withdrawing a needle. He jabbed it into the side of Logan's neck catching Logan off guard when his body slumped down to the floor with grogginess, "but I'm afraid I can't let you leave me now. Not when I've worked so hard to get you here. It's just not going to happen."

"You aren't going to get away with…" Logan's breath felt heavy on his lips, his head falling forward as his arms grew heavy over his head, "this."

"The beauty of it is that I already have," Victor curled his fingers underneath Logan's chin to arch his head up. When Logan looked at him he could see two Victor's before him looking doubly smug as his index fingers pushed into Logan's cheek breaking the skin. He bent down, face hovering just above Logan's with a proud smirk, "and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it."

xxxxx


	41. Chapter 41

Ororo blinked once…twice…three times before she snapped out of the daze she was in. Now standing in the center of the school hallway floors above the chaos that had started with Scott and Charles she fought to remember what had taken her to that place. Closing her eyes she could see Scott before her, could feel his anger and then suddenly she could remember herself leaving Scott and Charles alone with one another. She’d gone upstairs away from them to give them the space Charles wanted, yet she’d known it wasn’t the smart thing to do. Somewhere in her subconscious she’d been against it, yet she’d taken a path guiding her away from them regardless.

“No!” she mouthed when the walls of the school began to shake around her. Looking up she could see the chandelier above her moving with an unnatural force, causing the ceiling to crack when she rushed to the elevators in a panic. She hurried downstairs knowing that she never should’ve left Charles and Scott alone with one another after everything that had taken place between them. It was a mistake. It never should’ve taken place, yet as she found herself rushing down the hallway headed to where Cerebro was she was met with a horrifying sight.

“Hank!” she called out to her friend only to discover him hunched down on the floor leaning over a motionless Charles, “What happened?”

“I…I don’t know…” Hank admitted as she stepped forward to discover Charles bloodied and laid out on the ground in an unnatural position. His mouth was open, eyes closed and as Storm turned her attention to the room Cerebro was in she felt an uneasiness build in the pit of her stomach. Her eyes widened in noticing that the door to the room was torn open, ripped apart by a force that went well beyond anything she had imagined from Scott and Charles. Debris and twisted metal filled the hallway surrounding Charles and Hank when she found herself fearing what had taken place in those moments she’d been away from Charles and Scott. Remembering how upset Scott was in hearing the news about Logan, she couldn’t help, but find herself fearing the worst.

“Is he…?” she questioned turning to Hank and seeing Charles on the ground in front of him.

“He’s breathing,” Hank admitted with a crease in his brow, “but we’re going to have to get him somewhere else so that I can treat him and…”

“You don’t think Scott did this, do you?” she questioned worriedly.

“Ororo, I don’t know what happened. Given how upset Scott was when we told him about Logan…” Hank began with a worried expression on his face.

“He loves Charles. Even if they’ve been less than cordial with one another lately, I know that they have a bond between them and… I mean to think that Scott would do this and then…” she paused when she looked to the door beyond where she stood, “You don’t think he went in there and attempted to use Cerebro?”

“I sincerely hope not given the state he’s in right now. He’s already unstable and out of control. With his new powers we have no idea what’s causing them and for him to step in there without being properly trained…I don’t think he could handle the consequences of those actions. If he did in fact make an attempt we could be looking at something worse than we’d imagined,” Hank admitted as Storm noticed the discarded hospital gown on the floor beside the controls indicating that Scott had been in the room. 

“How much worse?” she questioned turning her attention to Charles again.

“With what I know about Cerebro, well, the truth is that to an untrained telepath we could be looking at a complete psychotic meltdown. Scott’s already teetering on the edge of sanity with the visions he’s been receiving, so to tempt fate with such a bold move could be the key to his undoing. What’s worse is if he’s out there somewhere we can’t be sure of what he’s capable of.”

“You don’t think that he…” she turned her attention to the discarded hospital gown once again. 

“We have to find him before he hurts himself or anyone else for that matter,” Hank added as Ororo realized that Scott was no longer in the basement of the school. In his absence there was something about what was happening--something dark that had overtaken them when Charles made a small, pained movement on the floor.

“Charles,” Hank touched his shoulder when Charles strained to get his words out.

“Save him…Erik…,” Charles coughed twisting on the floor before them in an attempt to move upward. However, when frustration and the weight of his injuries overtook him Charles simply collapsed weakly on the ground again keeping his eyes closed, “Scott…he’s in…danger…Erik needs to know…he needs to see that…”

“Charles, you need to try to stay calm,” Hank replied assuring his old friend.

“He knows…” Charles hissed with an exaggerated breath, “everything…he knows…what I’ve done…lies…must tell Erik…must protect…”

“Lies?” Hank questioned worriedly.

“He knows everything…” Charles gasped for air in an exaggerated effort.

“Charles, what happened…what did he…?” Hank questioned assessing the situation with Charles on the floor.

“He’s not…strong enough for this. His mind’s not ready. Cerebro…not safe…he’s not ready…he…” Charles groaned weakly, “blindsided…didn’t see it…didn’t know…they were waiting…always waiting…ready to take him…must save him…Erik…”

“Charles?” Hank questioned when Charles fell unconscious before him on the ground, “Charles?”

“We have to help him and find Scott before he does anything else that he won’t be able to recover from,” Storm announced when another piece of the wall collapsed onto the ground. She looked back into the room before her noticing the wreckage that surrounded them in the aftermath of the confrontation between Charles and Scott.

“Something tells me we may be well past that,” Hank added worriedly when he looked to Cerebro again, “If Scott went in there attempting to seek out the truth about what happened with Christopher and Logan…”

“You don’t think he would have…?” she questioned with a frown.

“He’s not thinking clearly. He’s hurting in a deep, profound emotional state. For Scott he’s fought to maintain control for years. He’s struggled to keep any of that trauma from coming to the surface. Now that it has…” Hank paused with worry in his tone.

“He’s bound to be coming unhinged,” she remarked with a tiny shudder, “which means we have to find him as soon as possible.”

“Given that he’s been experiencing new telepathic powers along with his hallucinations, it could be a deadly mix. With him being untrained with his newfound telepathy its left him open for disaster. Going in there to attempt to seek out what he believes to be true means anything he would have done in there would push him past the brink of sanity. If he attempted to use Cerebro on his own…” Hank explained fearing the worst in their situation.

“Then we’ll be dealing with a much more problematic situation,” Storm finished for him.

“I’m afraid so,” Hank hung his head somberly, “Scott wasn’t meant for that kind of situation. Even with his new powers it wasn’t a part of who he was growing up. Charles never gave him an instruction because his mind couldn’t handle something like that. To take that step into attempting to use Cerebro he could fall into chaos. In fact, Cerebro may very well serve to amplify his hallucinations that he’s been experiencing.”

“Which means only disaster will follow,” Ororo deduced with a frown in hoping like hell that it wasn’t too late to save their friend from the madness that would inevitably consume him. 

xxxxx

 _“Freak! Mutie! Tear him apart!”_ Scott could hear the voices inside of his head taunting as he moved through the street struggling to ignore the throbbing ache in his head. His eyes were light sensitive, his mind pounding with thoughts that were well beyond his own when he turned off of the main street headed towards a back alley away from the people that surrounded him.

 _“You’re going to learn a new lesson in the world of pain and suffering boy,”_ Scott could hear his tormenters inside of his head, pulling him back to that place where he’d been strapped down to the torture chair left to suffer away from the rest of the world, _“Get him!”_

“No,” Scott gulped feeling the memory causing him to crash to his knees on the gravel beside the pavement. He fought to focus on the world around him, to see things as they were when his mind was tormented by visions, by memories that he was certain weren’t his own.

In a moment accompanied by flashes of light Scott could see his mentor before him lost in a moment of impulsiveness in his youth taking his time to tap on the door to a bedroom in the estate. There was a nervousness, a hesitation that had prompted Charles to reconsider his notion, but a mix of alcohol and boldness had guided him to take the leap beyond rationality to the unknown. Again he’d tapped at the door waiting for the inevitable moment of truth when Erik Lehnsherr opened it up to reveal the same longing behind his eyes.

 _“I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away from me my friend--not with so much riding on the future ahead of us,”_ Erik had offered up in a brazen display. His presence did nothing to alleviate the nervousness Scott could sense lingering on his mentor in his youth. It surrounded the memory taking Scott back to his own feelings for Logan when Erik had reached out to seize Charles in his arms--to kiss him as if nothing else had mattered--as if tomorrow would never come.

 _“Erik please…”_ Scott could hear Charles sobbing when the moment faded to black turning to another time when Erik had given himself to temptation, to when he’d allowed vengeance and chaos to consume him. It was the beginning of the end--the moment where Charles felt his heart inevitably break.

“Watch it!” Scott heard a man in the alley snap at him when Scott pulled himself up off of the ground and staggered along the brick wall beside him in struggling to prevent the memories he’d absorbed in Charles’ subconscious from consuming him. However, the pull was too strong, amplified from the path he’d taken in heading to Cerebro to seek out the truth. He could hear the sound of engines humming in the distance indicating the traffic that surrounded him, yet with each blink of his eyes he could only see himself surrounded by the past--lost inside of the memories Charles Xavier had fought to keep buried deep within himself. 

_“Erik’s chosen his path,”_ he could hear Charles’ voice inside of his head pulling him back to the memory Scott had pulled from deep within his father figure. In an instant he could feel himself in Charles’ office, lost inside of the moment where Charles had made his damning choice, _“He must never know of this…he can never be aware of the consequences of what we’ve done.”_

 _“Charles,”_ another unfamiliar voice carried over the memory when Scott could see a woman--a doctor before him stepping forward in the hopes of appealing to reasoning, _“this isn’t something you can run away from. The very idea of what’s happening is a miracle…it’s something that…”_

 _“…the world will never accept,”_ Charles had lashed out at her, _“I’m not even sure I’ll be able to face in it knowing what society will do to him.”_

 _“You love him Charles,”_ the woman’s dark eyes softened with sympathy and understanding, _“You can protect him.”_

 _“Not from Erik,”_ Charles had replied somberly, _“Not from the truth…from what we’ve done…”_

 _“It shouldn’t matter Charles,”_ she began again with desperation in her voice, _“There are ways to keep Erik from him…to prevent him from being harmed when…”_

 _“Erik won’t stop seeking him out if he knows the truth,”_ Charles explained poignantly, _“If he knew that what happened would create this… If I had known…”_

_“Perhaps there’s another way…” another male voice suggested as Scott found himself taken to his youth, to the years he’d spent in the orphanage tortured by those around him. He could remember the torment, the dark things he’d been exposed to at the hands of a man he’d loathed and feared before he’d made his escape._

_“You’ll never be free of me,” he could hear the taunts that surrounded him dragging him down into hell when he’d run away in fear. He could recall the nightmares that had consumed him, the way that he’d been taken to Stryker’s facility to live out his fears moment by moment._

_“Don’t make me do this,” Scott pleaded when he’d found himself in a darkened room surrounded by madness. He could feel the eyes upon him, the way that the solders were watching him, waiting for him to get out of line after they’d pulled him out of recovery into the torture chamber they’d taken the others to before him._

_“If you wish to save the girl, then you’ll do as you’re told,” the deep voice resonated through the pit he’d been placed in, leading him to terror after his torment, “She’s counting on you to help her.”_

_“Scott,” he could hear Emma’s screams beyond where he stood staring down the young mutant they’d experimented on. He was a boy much like Scott who had been ripped away from his home, taken from the life that he’d known. They’d stolen his humanity, turned him into a machine as he stood before Scott drooling and snarling, more beast than man when his nostrils flared with rage. The top of his head had been sliced open and stitched up with a piece of metal protruding from the top of his shaven head where a few days earlier he had dark auburn curls framing his face. Now with dead eyes and bruises over his skin, he was defeated, stolen away from the world he’d known when his identity had been ripped away from him. Instead he was an experiment just like the others with a number carved into his arm for identification purposes._

_“Challenge him!” the voice over the loudspeaker ordered again when Scott stood frozen in fear._

_“No,” Scott snapped defiantly feeling a recoil over his neck when the collar they’d put him in offered up a painful pinch of electric shock. It’s pulse was enough to send him to the ground gripping and clawing at the metal that restrained him when the boy before him began to salivate and hiss._

_“Do it!” the voice ordered again when Emma’s screams surrounded him. He could hear her in the distance knowing of what fate lie ahead of her in Scott’s defiance._

_“I can’t,” Scott explained falling to his knees when the shocks around his neck tapered off giving way to a moment of reprieve._

_“If that’s your choice,” the voice over the intercom began disapprovingly, “take her to the chair and call Victor. I’m sure he’ll be satisfied with the girl…”_

_“No don’t,” Scott rose up to his feet again in thinking about the girl whose cell was near his. He hadn’t known much of her aside from her name, but he’d felt for her--like he had for all of them before they were picked to pieces by their tormenters. She was tough, a fighter like him, but they’d been hoping to break her--much like they had done with Scott. Thinking about the torment he’d faced, he found the strength to climb to his feet, to look over at the broken boy before him when tears burned behind his eyes. He could feel the visor they’d placed upon him keeping his eyes hidden behind the darkened lenses when he struggled to stop the shaking of his skinny legs._

_“The challenge begins now then,” the voice instructed when Scott felt a blinding light shine down upon them from overhead. It was then that the chains were released on the boy who’d stood before him as his one time cellmate when they were first brought in, who had sobbed for his mother and father and his memories of home back in Montana before he’d been ripped away from his ranch after his powers had manifested. Now he stood before Scott with dead eyes and blood over the side of his face when he let out a loud roar. He charged at Scott with lightening quick movements preparing to attack when Scott ducked down to avoid the collision. Scott had been fast, but not fast enough to evade his opponent when he’d felt scratches in his back. The jolt of pain caused Scott to wince when he rolled on the ground, sliding out of his opponent’s reach. All the while there were sounds above, voices encouraging them on when the fight intensified. Raising his chin Scott could see the boy before him, snarling and drooling further when he stretched his hand out revealing the green scales that began to form over his skin. They covered his hands becoming more prominent when his fingers stretched out and reshaped into black claws that looked like mini-daggers. He lunged forward again moving to attack Scott when Scott reached out to prevent the claws from tearing into his flesh. The boy grunted caught off guard when Scott sent him back into the wall in effectively throwing him across the pit. It was enough to stun him momentarily before the boy was up on his feet again charging at Scott._

_“Only one of you will return to your cell,” Scott hear his captor tormenting him when he was forced to continue the fight he hadn’t wanted to face. He could recall the boy’s tears, the way that Scott had promised him that they would escape, but now that was all gone lost on the madness that Stryker and his men had pushed upon them. With each jab the boy made in Scott’s direction Scott knew that he had to be quick on his feet refusing to give in to their request to use his powers against the boy. Time and time again he worked to evade his opponent, doing his best to come out unscathed by the attack. However, when the light overhead brightened to indicate the impatience of those above, Scott felt the boy charge at him, pushing him to the ground in a roar. The boy’s hands tore at the ground beneath Scott trying to tear at his face, but Scott was able to move out of his reach, to twist his head away from each pending attack until finally Scott reached up to seize the boy by his neck. He twisted his arm around the boy’s throat, using the movement to slide around behind the boy and hover over him. It only served to further enrage the boy when the boy attempted to claw at Scott in order to pull him off of his back. With each jab Scott twisted his arm tighter around the boy’s throat hoping to put him down as painlessly as possible. The boy grunted and groaned, slicing at Scott’s arm in an attempt at freeing himself until finally he let out a long breath of a gasp in collapsing on the ground._

_“I’m sorry,” Scott whispered when the boy passed out with Scott over him bringing an end to their forced battle. He remained frozen laying over the boy as the light disappeared overhead. He could hear the voice overhead, beckoning him further when the voice called to him again._

_“Finish this now,” the voice ordered._

_“I already have,” Scott explained refusing to move from where he lay over the boy, “It’s over.”_

_“Not until we have a winner,” the voice instructed in warning, “use your powers.”_

_“No,” Scott shook his head in refusal when there was a sound behind him. He could hear footsteps on the stone flooring, the sound of hard boots and metal being scraped against the door’s entrance when he felt arms pulling him up off of the ground. There were two soldiers holding him, forcing him off of the boy when Scott thrashed against them. He sucked in a breath, preparing to fight when there was a hand pressing over his visor._

_“Finish him,” the voice overhead ordered again when Scott felt the tear of his visor away from his face._

_“No!” Scott shouted keeping his eyelids closed tightly when the men at his side squeezed into his arms, fingers pinching at his bony body when another set of fingers twisted into his hair, wrenching and squeezing his head back._

_“Open your eyes boy,” Victor’s voice warned as Scott felt himself paralyzed by fear._

_“No,” Scott’s lower lip trembled when he took in the scent of the man who had tormented him. He could almost feel Victor’s eyes upon him, could take in the menace in the air that surrounded him when he felt the first brush of Victor’s finger against his cheekbone._

_“Open your eyes or I’ll cut your eyelids off,” Victor whispered over the side of his neck when Scott’s pulse pounded in his chest, “Do it boy!”_

_“No,” Scott whimpered feeling one of the soldiers twist at his arm, wrenching it back in a violent tug so that Scott winced. He felt another kick at his knee sending him to the ground again when Victor’s nail pressed over his brow bone. He felt the claw slide over the top of his eyelid when Victor laughed tauntingly._

_“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Victor mouthed pushing his claw in against Scott’s eyelid to make a small slice against his flesh when Scott’s raised his chin. He took in a breath imagining the menace in Victor’s features when he prepared to destroy him. However, in a moment of panic and determination Scott found the strength to open his eyes and face down his tormenter as he had with the others in the past. The movement caught Victor off guard undoubtedly due to the fact that Victor didn’t think Scott capable as Scott’s blasts sent Victor across the pit in the direction Scott had once been in. The force of Scott’s power caused Victor to crash into the wall of the pit, causing it to crumble beneath him when Scott used what strength he had left to pull himself up off of the ground. He turned around preparing to blast one of the soldiers when the collar around his neck jolted him with an even stronger surge of electricity. Pain vibrated through his body causing him to fall trembling to the ground with each painful jolt he was delivered._

_“You should’ve listened,” the voice overhead chastised him when Scott feared the pain would never end. He bit down on his lower lip taking in the surge of power that rushed through his body, taunting and tormenting him until finally his captors ceased in their lesson they’d inflicted upon him. Struggling for breath Scott rolled onto his side listening to the sounds of Victor cursing before another horrifying sound filled the pit. There as he felt a visor being pushed back onto his head to prevent him from retaliating the familiar sound of a gunshot vibrated around him when Scott looked up to discover a soldier standing over his opponent. There on the ground half of the boy’s head was blown across the pit revealing the insides of his brain scattered with the blood on the floor._

_“I told you that only one of you would be leaving this pit,” the voice above reminded him sharply when Scott watched Victor stomp across the room to pull Scott up by the back of his shirt to carry him out of the room in a huff._

_“It’s back to the chair for you boy,” Victor promised as Scott found himself lost in the knowledge that he hadn’t saved his opponent. However, with him being on his way to the chair, it meant Emma was safe…spared the torment for a bit longer with Scott in that position._

“Hey, are you alright?” a woman’s voice questioned when Scott looked up from where he’d been standing in the back alley. She stood beside the dumpster with dirt on her face, her hands wrapped in tattered gloves as fear carried over her features.

“No,” Scott shook his head and sighed, “I’m not.”

There was a sound of a siren overtaking Scott’s thoughts, flooding into his eardrums when he stumbled forward in trying to pull himself together. The memories were overwhelming, taking him from sanity to madness when his past revealed itself to him all over again.

 _“I’m Jean,”_ the beautiful auburn haired girl before him introduced herself when Scott was at the school all over again.

 _“I’m Scott,”_ he’d answered shyly when he’d seen himself set on the path to a new beginning.

 _“This is a simple mission Scott. I’m sure you’ll be able to handle it,”_ Charles’ voice rang through his mind, taking him beyond his first days at the school to the time when he’d encountered Logan again. He could remember the snow, almost freezing to death when Logan had offered him shelter from the storm.

 _“Don’t leave me Logan,”_ Scott could hear himself crying out after Victor had surprised him at Logan’s cabin. He could remember the chaos that followed, the way that he and Logan were torn apart from one another when Scott was taken by surprise by Victor. His world had come spiraling down around him, guiding further away from what he’d wanted when he’d been taken back to Stryker’s lab. More torture had followed taking him further into madness when Scott could feel himself trapped in his cage.

 _“Do your worst with him,”_ a familiar voice had instructed as Scott could see himself immersed in the past, guided back to the memory of the one person who had tortured him time and time again.

In a flash Scott could recall finding Logan again. He could see how Logan had saved him from the torture chair in his youth--how he’d attempted to bring Scott to freedom before Charles and Erik had arrived. He could recall the horror in Charles’ features in discovering Scott in Logan’s arms broken down and beaten beyond comprehension. At the time Scott had been disorientated after having lost a great deal of blood, but he’d held onto Logan struggling to keep the man he’d loved beside him.

_“We must be departing soon my friend. This place won’t hold up much longer,” Erik had warned as Scott closed his eyes behind his glasses in Logan’s embrace._

_“I realize that,” Charles had answered before moving in closer to Logan and Scott. He seemed cautious in his movements, tentative in his approach when he addressed Logan, “Give me the boy.”_

_“No,” Logan had insisted in a moment of feral rage and distrust, “Mine.”_

_“Give me the boy,” Charles repeated as he nodded towards Erik once again._

_“I believe he made a request of you,” Erik had done something, had caused Logan to grunt when Scott felt Logan’s hold on him loosening._

_“Logan,” Scott had gasped reaching out desperately for the man he loved, but to no avail. In an instant Logan was thrown up against the wall of the compound held captive by Erik’s hold on him, “no don’t!”_

_“You’re safe now Scott,” Charles explained reaching for Scott and drawing him into his arms, “We’re going to get you out of here.”_

_“Not without Logan,” Scott shouted seeing the way that Magneto had held Logan captive under his control, “Stop it! Don’t hurt him! He’s with me! He saved me!”_

_“This foul creature can’t even save himself,” Erik taunted twisting his fingers when he raised Logan up in the air, pushing him further away from Scott._

_“No!” Logan snarled his claws extended and eyes wild with rage when he fought to break free of the invisible grip that Erik had upon him._

_“Please don’t…” Scott begged attempting to pull away from the hold Charles had on him, “He saved me. He protected me and kept me safe. He’s not one of them. He’s…”_

_“A mistake indeed,” Erik wrinkled his nose dismissively when Logan twisted his head to glare down at him._

_“Mine,” Logan huffed with a labored breath, his words escaping him when Magneto twisted his fingers again to increase the hold he had on Logan._

_“Please…” Scott turned his head to the side to look at Charles, “save him. He needs our help. Please…I love him…I need him.”_

_“Scott,” Charles opened his mouth to say something more when the walls of the compound around them started to shake. After that Scott could recall Magneto releasing Logan in order to work towards escape. He could recall the sound of Logan behind them, moving in closer to pull Scott out of Charles’ arms to protect Scott when the sound of bullets pouring out into the hallway took over. They came towards the group moving faster with each round as Magneto fought to send them back to the men who had sent them off. He was doing his best, working to keep them at bay when another man with a different kind of weapon rounded the corner aiming it at them._

_“No!” Logan shouted pushing Scott into Charles’ arms again before rushing forward to block their path. He stretched his arms out with eyes focused on Scott, lost in a look of longing and desire when he spoke up in a small whisper, “I love you.”_

_“Logan no!” Scott shouted feeling the heat of an explosion surround them causing the world to fade to darkness when Scott had passed out before Charles had later caused him to lose sight of everything that had happened during that time. It had remained repressed for years until Jean had torn his powers away from him._

_“Forgive me Scott,”_ her voice echoed in his mind as he watched himself reliving every single second of his life all over again from the time he’d been reunited with Logan to that moment when it all came crashing down around him in losing Logan and Christopher. Now after he’d used Cerebro to seek them out he’d found himself surrounded by madness, but a new desire to right the wrongs that had come upon him starting with the man who had worked like hell to make him miserable.

“Victor,” Scott snarled behind clenched fists when the woman before him shuffled away in fear. She was halfway down the alleyway when Scott thought about how everything in his life was a culmination of Victor’s interference, of the abandonment that Charles had offered him, followed by the way Logan had been stolen from his life. It was a culmination of fire and rage rising inside of him, burning him to the core when the voice inside of his head instructed him to let go--to lose himself to vengeance at long last.

 _“It’s time…”_ the words explained when Scott raised his chin up, screaming up into the sky with an unabashed snarl as the energy he’d harbored inside of him took control. It exploded from within releasing the control on his optic blasts he’d been struggling with until that point in time. However, with anger and fury surging through his veins he continued to ignore the restraint he’d fought like hell to maintain now that the fire was drawing him down to madness and rage.

xxxxx

The slow dripping sounds surrounded Logan when he shifted on his knees finding his neck and shoulders tense from his positioning on the ground. He groaned raising his head up when he realized he was still in the dungeon Victor had set up for him locked away from the rest of the world. With a twist of his chains he attempted to pull himself up, to remember what it was exactly that had possessed him to allow Victor to get the upper hand in the situation that had taken place back at the estate. He could vaguely recall the explosion, could remember how he’d hovered over Christopher in the hopes of keeping him safe, yet in those moments when the explosion had taken place something had happened. Just when he’d felt the weight of the roof coming crashing down upon him, it had been thrust away from the both of them sent in an all new direction by the small boy beneath Logan. It was in those few moments that Logan could see Scott in the child as the boy’s blue eyes were filled with the same stubborn determination that had carried over Scott when he and Logan had been at a standstill in the past. There was something else happening, a small flicker and a glow behind his eyes shifting from blue to crimson when his tiny lips had curved downward in a terrified scowl. After that Logan could recall another sound before…

“…waking up here,” he finished his thought when he looked around the damp dungeon. Now as he took in a breath he found his thoughts lingering to Scott’s son, to the boy he’d fought to protect when he thought of Victor’s taunting words.

“It’s not going to be so easy to escape this time,” a voice announced causing Logan to realize that he was no longer alone in the cell. Turning his head to the side he noticed the man before him with the face he’d been dreaming about, only like before when he’d been back at Scott’s home in Ohio the scent was different, much more abrasive when the imposter stood before him, “Then again soon enough you won’t want to anymore.”

“Mystique,” Logan frowned watching as she paraded around the room wearing her best Scott smile as she held up a knife in hand, “I should’ve known.”

“I thought you of all people might appreciate this skin,” she mused with Scott’s laughter as she approached him, “given the sentimental value that it holds upon you. Don’t you like it?”

“Don’t think it’ll stop me from gutting ya when I get out of here,” Logan twisted against his restraints only to feel her send the knife into his ribs with a shake of her head.

“Now Logan,” she reached for the back of his head to yank on his hair while twisting the knife into his flesh, “is that really any way to treat your host in all of this?”

“Host,” Logan repeated behind gritted teeth when she twisted the knife again, “more like Victor’s puppet.”

“Puppet?” she mouthed with a haughty laugh. Shaking her head she shifted from Scott’s face to her own cool, blue skin when she glared down at him, “How dare you say such a thing about me! Do you really believe him to believe the brains in all of this?”

“Between the two of you I don’t see an ounce of intelligence,” he snarled only to feel her pull out the knife only to reinsert it into another part of his chest. He winced feeling one of her fingers push and twist into the initial wound she’d issued him before his healing factor could come into play.

“That’s where you’re wrong Logan,” she seethed with menace in her voice, “because as it stands I’m the one with all of the cards in my hands. Honestly, do you have any idea how much work went into all of this?”

“It’s all going to come crumbling down around you,” Logan announced only to feel her remove her knife again. Instead she took a step back watching as his wounds began to heal. Taking in a breath she issued him a sadistic smirk before moving to kick him in the groin. The movement sent him back down to the ground as her laughter filled the cell he was in.

“On the contrary everything is working just as I planned it down to your damnation,” she informed him with a smug expression on her face, “Do you have any idea how easy you made all of this for me? Do you know just how vital you were into my succeeding in my plans for the future with your stubborn influence?”

“The future?” Logan spat back with a sarcastic laugh, “You’re deluding yourself if you think you have one with Victor…”

“I have one far more than you do with your precious little Scott,” she reached for a chunk of his hair, using the force to wrench his head back so that she could meet his eyes again, “Do you have any idea how many years I’ve waited for this moment? For this time to finally put them in their place again for the ways in which they’ve betrayed me time and time again? It’s almost poetic really in watching their downfall considering that they’ve never had a clue what’s been coming to them.”

“Who?” Logan questioned when she twisted her fingers tighter into his hair.

“Those two holier than thou, righteous old bastards that left me to rot,” she explained expelling an agitated breath, “Do you have any idea what it did to me to learn how expendable I was? I gave everything to stand by him, but he didn’t care. I was a pawn. Just like you I was nothing to them…”

“I’m not following,” Logan replied feeling her release him in order to walk around the room in a slow, stewing stride.

“I gave Erik the best years of my life,” she confessed with a hint of bitterness in her tone, “I stood by him when he and Charles parted ways--gave him all that I was with my unyielding loyalty and companionship and do you know what I got in return for helping him rise to greatness?”

“Dental and a decent health plan?” Logan mouthed with a thick air of sarcasm.

“Abandonment and betrayal,” she roared marching forward to strike Logan against the left side of his face. He recoiled from the punch only to watch her eyes spark with rage, “I offered myself to him in ways that I never gave to another before, but it was his damned obsession with Charles that took him under. Time and time again I told him to let it go--to walk away from the past, but he kept holding on buried inside of him like a second agenda. He just wouldn’t let go of what they had between them and then when he discovered what was so damned special about Scott…”

She shuddered and hissed as her fingers balled up into fists at her sides.

“When he realized the truth after Liberty Island--when he was blown away by what he’d witnessed in Scott’s powers, I knew it was only a matter of time,” she shuddered outwardly when her words grew darker, “As soon as Erik connected the dots I knew I wouldn’t be enough. No matter how much he made me wear that face--no matter how many times he had me play the role of his twisted version of Charles Xavier when we were together, I knew it wouldn’t give him what he needed especially when they had the tie to bind them to one another. It only added fuel to the fire when he became obsessed with the past--with their precious little Scott.”

“What about Scott?” Logan questioned watching her move around the room in contemplation.

“He’s their dirty little secret--the ultimate representation of the dream Charles filled Erik’s head with in their abomination,” Mystique informed him with another shudder, “Erik became so consumed with the notion of what Scott was that he’d lost sight of our goals. He abandoned our plans for the future in order to cling to the past--to the life he shared with a man who lied and betrayed him. I gave him everything and he in turn left me to rot. He walked away when I needed him, yet…”

“You’re here holding a grudge against him by teaming up with Victor,” Logan rolled his eyes at her, “Yeah that’s going to turn out so well for you.”

“Victor knows my pain,” she hissed moving in towards him again, “He knows what it’s like to be abandoned by those he trusted the most. He knows what it’s like to be turned out in favor of someone thinking they’re better than you.”

“Victor’s a delusional sadist,” he offered up with a small groan. Twisting his neck to the side he raised his chin up to meet her eyes, “and you’re certifiable if you think that anything he can offer you will lead you to anything, but misery.”

“Victor’s given me the opportunity to be all that I was truly meant to be,” she smirked widely as she reached out to stroke the side of his face.

“A crazy, delusional bitch,” Logan mouthed under his breath only to feel her strike him across the face.

“On the contrary I’m the one holding all the cards now Logan,” she scowled down at him, “Scott’s been a thorn in both of our sides for quite some time, which is why going after him has proven to be the key to everyone’s undoing. By going after Scott we were both able to accomplish our goals in making each one of you suffer…although I will admit I tried to convince Victor to ease up on you a bit. After all we don’t want him breaking you just yet…”

“Why Scott?” Logan questioned again as she pushed her fingers into his thick, dark hair.

“Because destroying him will destroy both Charles and Erik,” Mystique informed him in a dark, menacing tone, “If they lose him, then they’ve lost that one thing between them that has kept them united. They won’t have a past to cling to any longer nor will they find what they’ve been seeking out with one another. Plus, with all the delicious notions we’ve implanted in Scott’s head, if madness doesn’t do him in on himself, then he’ll undoubtedly destroy Charles for his duplicity in keeping the two of you apart. That in itself will be worth the price of insanity in all of this.”

“You used me from the start,” Logan deduced thinking about the way she’d come to him in Ohio when Victor had taken Scott.

“Played you like a fiddle,” she boasted proudly, “I knew that Charles never approved--never liked the idea of you corrupting his boy. He worked so hard to keep you buried away in Scott’s subconscious that it wasn’t too much of a challenge to get the wheels in motion again. Once you and Scott were reunited again upon my urgings…”

“Your urgings,” Logan repeated watching her nod proudly.

“Who do you think convinced Erik that Rogue was all that he needed to power his machine?” she arched a curious brow, “Is it really any wonder that Victor was the one that was out there to seek you out or that Charles had put plans into motion to intervene by sending Scott? Neither one of them had any idea of what was going to happen once Scott arrived and found you again. Neither one of them were prepared, but I was. I knew full well what the two of you had together in the past. Victor had told me all about it in one of his rants, had discussed the way in which he’d hoped to eradicate Scott from your life once and for all. When he told me all about your lust for Scott I knew I had my opening…”

“You were working with Victor when he took Scott,” Logan frowned remembering the time he’d feared he lost Scott.

“Indeed,” she nodded triumphantly, “Hell, I would’ve taken him myself, but you needed to believe--to see that we had to work together for a common goal in rescuing Scott, Charles and Erik. They all needed to be out of harm’s way for things to go my way. I needed everything in place you see. It was all very tentative.”

“Tentative,” Logan repeated, “but you weren’t planning on what was happening to Scott, were you?”

“I had an idea of the potential that was there,” she paused giving him a long, curious once over, “but it wasn’t until that confrontation with Victor that I’d realized he was almost ready for the change.”

“The change,” Logan repeated watching her features transform to the one woman he and Scott had been tormented by in their nightmares.

“He needed to survive so that he could fulfill his destiny,” she explained when her voice shifted to Jean’s with a teasing laugh, “Scott holds the key to our future you know. He’s the best of both worlds, but he needed that extra push.”

“And you gave it to him that night at the school,” Logan deduced watching her closely, “You were the one that saved him.”

“Without any thanks I might add,” she replied with a hint of laughter in her voice, “Do you have any idea how hard it was not to stick around and watch what was happening after I left? To not be able to watch my handiwork in action?”

“You pretended to be Jean that night to hide what was really happening,” Logan gasped with surprise.

“It wasn’t the first time I’ve played that game,” she informed him proudly, “but then again I’m sure you could ask Scott all about it in those three months that he lost. I’m sure if he thinks long and hard about the situation, he’ll remember quite a few memories I helped him make along the way.”

“You bitch,” Logan snapped watching her lick her lips in amusement.

“I have to tell you he’s not nearly as intense as Erik is, but he’s got potential,” Mystique moved in closer to him, “especially when I’m in your skin. He tended to favor you over Jean, which again didn’t surprise me. Then again as fun as it was toying with Scott for those three months it paled in comparison to that time spent with you. It’s a shame you can’t remember it because I can assure you they were the best fucking times of your life.”

“I’ll kill you when I get out of these,” Logan vowed meeting her eyes with a defiant glare.

“Oh I don’t know,” she stroked the side of his face again, “You might find these chains will spark a memory inside of you sooner or later.”

She leaned in closer to him, pressing her lips over the side of his neck in a gradual tease, “You rather enjoyed them when we were together in the past. They were a vital part of foreplay for us.”

Snarling Logan twisted on his feet, pushing up off of his chains in an attempt to reach out and grab her. However, before he could follow through on his actions he felt the pull of his chains from across the room.

“Now, now Jimmy, is that really any way to treat a lady?” Victor’s words carried over the room disapprovingly, “Here Raven is simply trying to make you feel at home in your new environment and you feel the need to bring out the claws.”

“Why don’t you come in a little closer so that we can bring this reunion full circle?” Logan suggested motioning to the claws he had unsheathed before him.

“As much as I’m sure I’d enjoy that,” Victor paused dragging his tongue over his tooth in contemplation, “my lady friend and I have a party to attend to.”

“Party?” Logan repeated looking between the two of them, “What kind of party?”

“One that involves the complete destruction of Scott Summers,” she explained shifting back into Scott’s form as Logan twisted against his restraints.

“It’s going to be one hell of a time,” Victor replied reaching around to squeeze at her waist to draw her in against his chest, “My that mouth of yours looks delicious. I think I may have to sample it.”

“Go right ahead,” she rose up on her toes as Logan shuddered in watching Victor kiss the copy of the man he’d loved before him. Turning his head away Logan let out a small groan.

“Hmm…” Victor practically purred when his hands moved down to Mystique’s bottom to pull her in closer to him, “maybe we should stick around for a while and give Logan a little preview of what I’m going to do to his little pet when we finally get our hands on him again.”

“I’m sure he’d enjoy that,” Mystique spoke up with Scott’s words falling from her lips. Only Logan knew better. Despite her appearance he was fully aware of her duplicity. Still in having Victor’s arms around her version of Scott in ways he was certain he’d tear Victor’s head off for, he couldn’t help, but find himself unsettled.

“Don’t worry Jimmy,” Victor nipped at the side of Mystique’s neck before winking at Logan once again, “I’ll let you have one last taste before I claim him as my own. After that, well, I’ll even let you have a front row seat to his demise.”

“What is it you think you’re planning?” Logan questioned watching as Victor’s hold on Mystique loosened. Instead Victor stepped across the room heading towards Logan with a wicked smirk.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Victor snarled when a laugh built up in the back of his throat. He reached down into his jacket pocket and pulled out a handful of syringes, “However, right now it’s nap time Jimmy.”

“Don’t think you’ll get away with any of this because I will get out of these chains,” Logan snarled baring his teeth to Victor when Victor jabbed the needles into the side of Logan’s neck with an angry slam.

“Oh I’m counting on that Jimmy,” Victor promised as Logan’s head grew heavy again with the thought of Victor and Mystique’s nefarious plans swirling around in his head. With each breath he took he found himself thinking less like the rational man he’d attempted to be with Scott and more like the animal he once was.

“This isn’t over Victor,” Logan snarled raising his head up once again when he snarled at Victor, “Mark my words you just signed your own death warrant.”

“We’ll see about that,” Victor laughed in his face before moving in closer to him, “but for now I’ll tell Scott you said hello.”

Before Logan could respond he felt the weight of Victor’s fist in his face bringing him back to the darkness that had surrounded him a short while earlier. Only unlike before the last thought on Logan’s mind was his need to protect Scott and all the ways in which he’d find an escape to work his way to the man he loved before it was too late. Despite the odds stacked against him Logan was convinced that he would find a way to destroy Victor once and for all. For the sake of all Logan held dear in his life he had to. There were no other options.


	42. Chapter 42

“Logan, wake up!” Logan heard a voice above the dripping sounds of the musty room he’d been locked up in calling to him. He dazedly heard his name repeatedly when he felt the brush of something up against his arm, “Wake up!”

“Scott?” Logan questioned groggily as he raised his head up. He attempted to shake off the effects of the drug Victor had used upon him now that his eyes adjusted in the darkness in the murky basement that surrounded him. It felt like a dungeon of sorts in remembering the way Victor had prided himself in holding Logan captive away from the rest of the world.

“You could only be so lucky,” a female voice almost mocked him when Logan’s eyes finally came into focus to discover a beautiful blonde woman standing before him. She looked agitated and impatient as she turned her attention to the adamantium chains that bound him to the wall, “We don’t have much time. We have to find a way to get you out of here.”

“Who are you?” Logan questioned shaking another wave of dizziness that carried over him. He tipped his head to the side watching as the woman beside him focused her attention on the shackle on his wrist. She inspected it closely when Logan tried to place her face, “I know you, don’t I?”

“Not exactly,” she answered dismissively. She moved around the room, turning her back to him in order to listen to something outside of the room. Once she seemed satisfied with what she’d heard, she spun around to face him once again, “but Scott does. I’m…”

“The stripper from the club,” Logan recounted the time he’d crossed paths with the woman beside him, “You propositioned me and…”

“Trust me,” she wrinkled her nose at him, “it wasn’t because I was interested—at least not in you. Scott and I, well, we go way back with one another.”

“Is that right?” Logan eyed her wearily when another thought carried over him, “It’s not just the club though. We’ve met before, haven’t we?”

“We have, but right now isn’t about pleasantries darling. We need to help Scott. He’s in trouble,” she explained moving back to the doorway to his cell.

“What kind of trouble?” Logan questioned wearily.

“The kind that he won’t be able to recover from if Victor has his way,” she blurted out from behind pinched lips. There was a sound from outside in the hallway alerting her that they weren’t alone in Logan’s makeshift cell. Holding her finger up in the air, she issued him a warning look to stay quiet before turning her back to him. Before he could question her intentions he watched her walk out of the room seeking out something he hadn’t been privy to.

“Damn it,” Logan grumbled raising his head up when he remembered the chain of events leading to his captivity. While the blonde was puzzling, it seemed she was a mystery when she returned to the room with a thick, oversized guard at her side. Immediately Logan tensed up anticipating trouble to follow when she nodded to the guard beside her, who was now oddly grinning widely and looking at her as if she was the only thing in the dirty, bloodied room that held any interest to him.

“Now give me the keys,” she held her hand out expectantly when the man beside her readily offered up his keys with a goofy grin.

“Yes beautiful,” he mouthed moving to deposit them into her hand before she gazed down at his fingers and seemed to rethink her words.

Wrinkling her nose at his dirty fingers, she withdrew her hand from his reach, “On second thought how about you do the honors in releasing him yourself?”

“Of course,” the man smirked widely at her when Logan watched the guard move over to the shackle the woman had been inspecting earlier. Lost in a moment of mindless complicity he pushed a key into the lock on Logan’s chains releasing his right wrist. Logan seized the man by his neck offering up a squeeze. Despite the hold on him, the guard seemed oblivious to Logan’s grip on him when his new companion stepped forward giving the man a small nod before he collapsed effortlessly in Logan’s arms.

“What did you do to him?” Logan questioned turning his attention to the guard that suddenly felt like a heavy ragdoll in his arms.

“I merely suggested he could use a nap,” she shrugged her shoulders before standing up straighter than before, “Heaven knows he could use a shower as well. The same goes for you. You stink.”

“Yeah, well captivity will do that for you,” Logan sneered looking to the guard again.

“If you say so,” her nose wrinkled as she listened to the sounds in the hallway once again, “We need to get a move on this. We don’t have a lot of time and as much as I’d like to assist this process along, it would just be easier to move through this undetected without my having to reduce all of them to sniveling infants.”

“You’re a telepath,” Logan noted watching her adjust the top of the white glove she’d been wearing.

“Some call me a genius as well Logan,” she mused proudly before meeting his eyes once again, “I’m Emma.”

“Emma,” Logan repeated pulling the key from the unfastened shackle to push it into the other lock. It opened effortlessly before Logan focused on the man beside him.

“That’s right,” she hesitated drawing in a breath, “and like I previously stated we need to get you out of here.”

“You mentioned Scott before. You said he was in trouble,” Logan repeated raising his head up to meet her eyes again. He could see her waiting for a reaction out of him when she stepped in closer to him.

“He is,” she informed him narrowing her eyes at him, “and we’re running out of time if we’re going to get to him before Victor and Mystique do.”

“What do you know of them?” Logan questioned reaching for the man at his feet.

“Enough to see that Scott’s going to be in over his head with them chasing after him. If we don’t get a move on it, then there’s no telling what could happen. Chain him up,” she suggested looking to the doorway she’d entered through moments earlier, “If anyone comes by they won’t realize you’re gone and he won’t be telling anyone the truth anytime soon. At this rate I should make it so he thinks he’s a pretty little pony for the things he’s done to others like us.”

“How do you know Scott?” Logan inquired.

“We don’t have time for this Logan,” she wrinkled her nose at him dismissively, “Scott always said you were a man of action, so what’s with all the questioning?”

“You were one of Stryker’s prisoners, weren’t you?” Logan questioned watching her shudder before him.

“Not that it’s any of your concern, but I was there when you rescued Scott,” she paused biting down on her lip, “However, right now isn’t the time reminisce. We need to find Christopher and get out of here. After that we need to get to Scott and…”

“Christopher’s here?” Logan inquired feeling his pulse race in his chest.

She nodded, “I was on my way to track him down when I realize that you were here as well. Knowing that only provided me with the means of getting Christopher to safety before any of them could hurt him.”

“I won’t let that happen. What have they done with Scott?” Logan questioned finishing up with the guard beneath him.

“I don’t know,” Emma explained desperately, “I tried to find him, but he’s not showing up in my search for him. I can’t reach him, believe me I’ve tried, but knowing what I do about...”

“How do I know I can trust you?” Logan snarled reaching out for her arm and pulling her in closer to him, “How do I know you’re not working with Victor?”

“Because you don’t have time to doubt me,” she argued with him. Turning her back to him she attempted to move towards the door to exit his cell when he reached out to grab her arm in his thick, oversized hand.

“Not a good enough answer lady,” Logan pulled her back in closer to him.

“It’s all you’re going to get at this point,” Emma answered defiantly. She raised her head up in to face him with a tight scowl, “Fine. That son of a bitch was responsible for every horrible thing that happened to me. He’s the one that brought me Stryker’s facility and if it wasn’t for Scott I don’t know what would’ve happened to me. With Scott…he saved my life Logan and I owe him one—more than one actually.”

“Why should I believe any of this?” Logan questioned wearily.

“Because I just saved your ass from being stuck here,” she glared over at him, “Or maybe it’s because it’s the truth.”

With an impatient huff Logan felt warmth carry over his senses when she reached out to him telepathically. She sent him a few visions of her past when she’d been held in captivity. In an instant Logan felt his body tense up in watching a younger version of the woman before him trapped in Stryker’s facility. He could see her struggling with Victor, fighting against his madness when Scott stepped forward to protect her. It was in that moment that Victor had redirected his rage on Scott moving in to attack him as Emma was spared a similar fate. In an instant Logan watched the scene shift to the moment he’d arrived at the facility to help the others escape. He could clearly see himself freeing the younger mutants from their cells, watching each one of them rush out of their captivity when Logan’s eyes fell upon Scott. He could see the teenage version of the man he loved before him as if it was happening in the moment when his heart skipped a beat. Immediately fear and worry coiled over his body when he also noticed Emma in the background reaching out to embrace the woman time had taken from his mind.

“Kayla,” Logan gasped when Emma pulled them out of the moment back into the musty cell he was in.

“She was my sister,” Emma explained drawing in a breath, “and I spent years hating you for not saving her. I’d always felt that you were the reason she’d died, but now I know better. Now I realize that Stryker and Victor were both the ones responsible for her undoing. I know now that they’re the ones who need to pay for what happened to her.”

“I tried to save her,” Logan confessed painfully when his memories came rushing back to him about Kayla’s ending, “I wanted to help her, but…”

“I know,” Emma nodded momentarily choked up on the memory of Kayla. After a couple of seconds she returned to her stoic expression, decidedly neutral as she nodded to the doorway, “which is why I don’t want to see Scott suffer the same fate that she did back then. I know what you mean to Scott. I know that you were his first love. He let me see as much as when I tried to help him find himself again after what Jean did to him. She tore his mind to pieces, bringing him to the brink of madness and holding on to you was the one thing that kept him sane through it all. You were the one thing that he wanted to return to when he was lost inside himself. You were everything to him and right now I know that you’re the only person who can save him at this point in time. With what they’ve done to him—Logan, there may be no turning back if we don’t move fast. They’ve been tormenting him in ways you can’t even begin to imagine and when I couldn’t seek him out, I decided to find Christopher before they could do anything to hurt him. When I realized that you were here, I knew that Scott would come running to you if he could. I was certain that he wouldn’t accept that you were gone and…”

“I realize that,” Logan added with a frown.

“Which is all the more reason why we need to get the hell out of here,” Emma informed him when an alarm sounded over the hallway, “I hope you can put those claws of yours to good use because we’re going to need them right about now.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Logan assured her when the sound of footsteps rushed forward causing Logan to release his claws armed and ready to do whatever was necessary to save Scott and his son from madness.

 xxxxx

“Where is he?” Erik demanded pushing his way through the basement hallways of Xavier’s mansion overtaken with concerns for his longtime companion. However, much to his dismay he was met by a less than cordial Hank blocking his way to where he was certain he would find Charles, “What did you do to him?”

“We didn’t do anything to him,” Hank offered up only to elicit a glare from Erik.

“You let this happen, didn’t you?” Erik scoffed with a snarl, “You didn’t do a damn thing to prevent any of this, did you? All this time you’ve pretended that you’ve had his best interest at heart, but you just couldn’t stand to see him return to me, could you? It just killed you to watch him branch out beyond his limitations with me at his side.”

“You’ve been nothing, but trouble in his life,” Hank scoffed back at Erik. He took a bold step forward snarling at the man who had brought turmoil to Charles and his life time and time again, “Every time you set foot in this place nothing, but disaster follows you. You don’t belong here.”

“That isn’t up for you to decide,” Erik’s gaze swept over him dismissively, “Charles called me here. He needs me right now.”

“What he needs is someone who isn’t going to cause him any more unnecessary stress,” Hank frowned back at Erik, “He needs to recover from…”

“From what exactly?” Erik inquired, “What did you allow to take place here in my absence? Where is Scott?”

“We don’t know where Scott is. As for Charles we had no idea what was going on when it happened. He and Scott were alone with one another after Charles pushed us all out and…” Hank replied when he and Erik stood outside of the room Charles was in.

“That’s no excuse. Surely you of all people should know the tentative nature of this situation,” Erik shook his head and snarled at the younger man before him.

“From what I can see it’s only gotten worse with your interference,” Hank puffed his chest out impatiently before glancing over his shoulder at the room where Charles was, “Scott and Charles never had this tension between them before you starting coming around and…”

“You mean before Scott realized the level of duplicity in those around him?” Erik arched a taunting brow, “Tell me, after all this time you still haven’t faced the consequences of your actions where Scott is concerned, have you? He has no idea of the hand you played in making all of this happen, does he?”

“Scott needs to focus on his recovery just as Charles does and…” Hank’s words were brought to an abrupt end when Erik let out an amused laugh.

“Recovery?” Erik’s eyes sparkled with delight when he let out another haughty laugh, “The boy is a wonder in itself. His evolution speaks volumes about where our people were always meant to be in this world. He’s not in need of recovery, but rather admiration for how far he’s come in taking a step forward in our battle against those that would just as soon take us under.”

“Scott needs help,” Hank’s lip curved downward tightly in a scowl, “The last thing he needs is you stepping in to cloud his mind even further when…”

“When what?” Erik wiggled his brow tauntingly, “When it has always been his birthright to be at my side, embracing what gifts have been bestowed upon us. You and Charles kept that from happening because you foolishly believed that you had the right idea when you decided to play God with our lives. First you deceived me when you took Scott away from me and then you betrayed him…”

“We did what we thought was best,” Hank defended his position, “You were a monster Erik.”

“I was a father,” Erik recoiled with rage vibrating in his tone, “I had a right to be a part of my Scott’s life—to protect him.”

“What kind of future could you have given him? You were beyond reason back then,” Hank added with a low roar carrying over his tone, “We did what we felt was best…”

“And how is any of that working out for you?” Erik tossed back at him flippantly, “How successful has your quest been to spare Scott from all of this in leaving him unaware of what his true potential was?”

“I’m not the one who decided to keep Scott from Christopher. If I had any idea what you and Charles were doing or that Scott and Jean had a son out there…,” Hank reminded him sourly.

“What could you have done? You’re merely a puppy dog who would much rather talk of peace and playing nice with a government set out to destroy us in an attempt to placate Charles and his ill-conceived dream of peace and harmony instead of facing the realities of the world around us,” Erik’s eyes narrowed down at Hank, “We aren’t free to be at peace with the world around us. Drastic measures were needed to make up for the lies you and Charles concocted all those years ago. We made the decision to spare Christopher the same fate that you bestowed upon Scott in your arrogance and righteousness.”

“You were beyond reason,” Hank retorted.

“You never gave me a chance, nor did Charles before the both of you passed Scott on to others who’d merely worked to destroy him,” Erik’s anger vibrated in his tone, “Once they knew what he was, how could any of you believe that hiding him from me would save him? How could you ever think that they wouldn’t resort to this? That they wouldn’t try to break him before he’d come fully into his gifts?”

“We did what we had to in order to protect Scott from your madness and the danger that surrounded each and every one of your actions,” Hank added when Erik moved in closer to him with a scowl.

“No!” Erik’s voice sounded through the corridor of the school causing the walls to tremble around him, “You condemned him to hell merely because the idea of what he was would put your future at risk. He was the link between Charles and I that would end the rift between us. He was the only thing that mattered—the one thing that should’ve been protected, but instead of embracing him, you shunned him. You thrust him out into a world that hates and despises our kind and for what? For the sake of simply pretending Charles and I were never connected? That we didn’t have something between us that not even differences in ideology could erase?”

“You’re a murderer!” Hank pushed forward preparing to seize Erik by the collar, “There was no telling the lengths you would go to in order to destroy Scott.”

“With me he would’ve been safe!” Erik’s words vibrated through the hallway, rising with the anger that carried over him. A panel on the wall screeched, showing the first signs of movement when Hank’s fingers gripped at Erik’s neck while he let out a low roar. Ignoring Hank’s grip, Erik continued on in a fury causing the walls to shake around them when Hank pulled Erik up off of the ground, “He would’ve been spared the fate of that madman at the orphanage or even Stryker. He wouldn’t have been abused like I was. He wouldn’t have had to watch those he loved destroyed around him all because one man felt it was a crime for him to exist in this world. He should’ve been able to take his place at my side, to show the rest of the world just what we are capable of and…”

“…and we failed him Erik,” Charles spoke up from the now open doorway to the medial wing. Hank released Erik setting him back on the ground before both Erik and Hank turned to stare at the man who now haphazardly moved into the hallway with fingers clenching the wall beside him, “We’ve been over this time and time again…”

“It still doesn’t change the reality of what happened to him or the fact that those monsters who hurt him needed to pay. They still do,” Erik’s words reverberated through the hallway seeking out Charles once again.

“Not now Erik. Not like that,” Charles frowned back at him, “We both know that…”

“You killed that man in Ohio,” Hank gasped in realization. His eyes widened in surprise when he thought back to the body he and Logan had found back at the barn in Ohio, “You were the one that…”

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat if it meant keeping Scott safe,” Erik’s words cut back sharply. His eyes never wavered from Charles when he took in a small breath, “Think what you will of my actions, but I wasn’t the only one that did what was necessary in that situation.”

“Charles?” Hank questioned as Charles looked away from his longtime friend.

“There was no peace for Scott with that madman on the loose. He was prepared to hunt Scott down like a dog—to go after all of us with his lynch mob,” Erik continued practically boasting about his kill, “There was no other way around it even if it didn’t erase the fact that Scott suffered a fate similar to mine.”

“Are you saying that…?” Hank inquired looking to an uneasy Charles.

“We have to find Scott,” Charles avoided Hank’s question when he leaned up against the wall, “We have to make sure he’s safe.”

“Charles…” Hank began again worriedly.

“We’ve let this go for far too long already,” Charles conceded closing his eyes again when Erik took a step forward.

“Indeed we have. We promised one another that we would protect the others—that we would stand up for them especially if they were our own flesh and blood…” Erik snapped in recoil before Hank placed a hand on Erik’s chest to prevent him from moving in closer to Charles.

“Leave us Hank,” Charles raised his hand up in the air as he took in a labored breath.

“Charles, you need to get back into bed. With what happened before…” Hank offered up with worry evident in his features.

“I can handle this,” Charles met Hank’s expectant eyes, “You need to go check in on Storm and see what’s going on in the search for Scott. You must make sure that when they find him no harm will come upon him. He needs our help to heal.”

“After what he did…” Hank’s words tapered off.

“He didn’t do this to me,” Charles raised his head up to meet Erik’s worried eyes, “Raven did.”

“Raven? But how?” Hank frowned as tension coiled over his shoulders.

“She arrived shortly after Scott walked out on me. He was furious, beyond reason and when he left me in the lab I was shaken. He was agitated and confused so when we argued things—well, it doesn’t matter. The point is Raven was here and she was beyond reasoning with,” Charles nodded drawing in a weak breath, “She was so angry about everything through the years and…”

“She’s going after Scott to punish us,” Erik deduced with a gasp, “isn’t she Charles?”

Charles nodded, “She’s been manipulating this situation right along after she’d felt we abandoned her. We have to find him Erik. The longer he’s out there…”

“…the more open he is to whatever she has planned for him,” Erik finished knowingly. His face drained of all color when he watched Charles taking in a long, uneasy breath, “She’s been planning this for years, hasn’t she?”

Charles nodded, “I don’t know why neither one of us saw it coming,” Charles confessed somberly, “Maybe a part of me didn’t want to believe it considering that…”

“You never wanted to give up on her, but I,” Erik paused taking in an uneasy breath, “I’d never given her what she needed.”

“Right now we can’t worry about that. Right now we need to get to Scott and…” Charles staggered forward a few steps on shaky feet before collapsing to the ground. Immediately Erik rushed over to his side reaching out to pull him up and into his arms.

“Charles?” Erik questioned worriedly when Charles found the strength to raise his head up and meet his companion’s eyes.

“He knows everything Erik,” Charles whispered tightly with tears behind his eyes, “Scott saw it inside of me. I tried to hide it from him when he was agitated, but he’s become so powerful—so strong…”

“We can still save him Charles,” Erik replied reaching out to touch the side of Charles’s face, “We have to protect him.”

“If only I’d done it earlier, then he never would’ve suffered,” Charles added poignantly, “If only I’d been strong enough to do the right thing…”

“We can save him now,” Erik decided keeping his arms wrapped tightly around Charles. Unable to help himself he reached out to touch the side the side of Charles’ face tenderly, “Him and Christopher.”

“Raven has him,” Charles explained, “and we have to find her. We have to get to Cerebro before…”

“Scott was in there,” Hank interrupted the moment between Charles and Erik.

“What?” Charles questioned.

“Storm and I believe that he went to Cerebro after the two of you were together,” Hank explained desperately, “He refused to believe that Logan was gone when we told him, so we think that after the two of you argued that he must’ve gone down there and…”

“He used Cerebro? Really?” Erik’s eyes widened with sudden interest before he turned to Charles again, “Have his powers evolved to that point already?”

“He has no idea what kind of backlash could happen upon using Cerebro without the proper tools,” Charles shook his head and frowned, “There’s no way that he would’ve been able to control it considering that…”

“We’re assuming he tried because things were torn apart and…” Hank mouthed in response.

“Scott doesn’t have the capability to understand all that’s involved in Cerebro. If he tried to use it without understanding his powers, then he could be lost in a world of confusion. Other telepaths have tried—even Jean, but she hadn’t been ready. She’d carried with her a lifetime of power, but with Scott it’s still so new and…”

“He has your gift,” Erik interrupted with a hint of a smirk teasing over the corner of his lips, “If he’s been given that…”

“It took me years to come to understand it and control it,” Charles reminded Erik with uncertainty in his tone, “For Scott it’s been only a couple of months at best.”

“We both saw what he did to that tree,” Erik insisted with a glimmer behind his eyes.

“The tree was one thing, but Cerebro is just too powerful. It can twist a person’s mind especially if they aren’t prepared for all it holds in store for them. Delusions are a best case scenario and the worst… If he tried to manage Cerebro, then there’s no telling what has come of him now. He could very well be an even greater ticking time bomb,” Charles squeezed his fingers into Erik’s shoulder, “We must find him Erik.”

“We will Charles,” Erik promised scooping Charles up in his arms more completely as the two began the journey with one another to make up for the mistakes they’d made so many years ago.

xxxxx

“What the hell is that?” Logan questioned when the sound of an explosion ripped through the corridor he and Emma were in with one another. There were about a dozen guards at their feet all taken down by Emma’s powerful persuasions when he watched her purse her lips together in obvious distraction.

“Victor,” she gasped horrified by what she’d seen in her mind’s search of the facility, “he’s here.”

“Is that right?” Logan snarled feeling his claws break through the surface of his skin again. He spun around in the corridor sniffing the air around him when Emma touched his shoulder.

“Logan, we have to get to Christopher. He should be down this hallway and…” Emma attempted to appeal to him.

“You find him and take him out of here. If anyone comes at you, just keep hitting them with your psychic powers. Do whatever is necessary to ensure that boy’s safety,” Logan decided standing up taller and feeling himself overtaken with a moment of rage, “while I end this.”  

“Where are you going?” she questioned when he moved further down the hallway they’d just entered through.

“To stop Victor from ever hurting anyone I love       ever again!” Logan roared rushing down the hallway bound and determined to put an end to the madness Victor and Mystique had thrust upon them once and for all.

xxxxx

  
 _“It’s time,”_ the voice inside of Scott’s mind taunted him, propelling him further as he found himself surrounded by fire, by the burn of flesh and sin, tearing him to pieces and rebuilding him all over again. A heat embraced him, licking him up in the flames as he arched his head upward seeking out reprieve, but instead he was lost, buried inside the same madness that had surrounded him back by Alkali Lake. He felt it bubbling at his skin, possessing his body and festering in his mind like an unwelcome, vile parasite scratching and pulling at everything that in essence made him that man he’d prided himself on being through the years. Instead he had let go of it all when the flames burned inside of him and he ceased to be Scott Summers. He was no longer a man of moral conviction and logic when the flames engulfed him pulling him up from the ground and into the place where sanity no longer held any relevance or meaning.

 _“They all must pay for their sins,”_ the voice inside of him cajoled him further. He let out a primal scream, but not a sound fell from his lips. Instead his hands arched upward, turning towards the sky when he found himself caught up in a culmination of rage, destruction and anger. He could hear the sounds of explosions around him, could feel the rain beating down upon him, but he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t change anything as he was too far gone caught up in a dark place he feared he’d never return from. Closing his eyes he tried to fight against it, to simply force himself to return to anything that would help him cling to his humanity. Instead he felt the voice inside of him goading him on further with each consuming thought of death and destruction.

 _“They must burn for their sins. It’s time to tear them to pieces—to begin again,”_ the voice urged him on further, _“It’s time to show them just what you’re capable of.”_

“No,” Scott managed to whimper fighting against the invisible force that was tearing him to pieces, “I can’t.”

 _“You have no choice,”_ the voice urged him on when Scott dropped down to his knees feeling a moment of reprieve. Instinctively he curled up into a ball on the pavement, wrapped up in the fetal position in feeling his body shudder and shake when ripples of madness shook him to his core. He clenched his hands to his head not knowing where he was when fire surrounded him. It burned inside of his brain eating away at his impulses when the past came forward to haunt him all over again.

 _“Scott, look at me,”_ he could hear Jean’s voice calling him, coaxing him to let go of life as he’d known it.

“No,” Scott shook his head firmly, “I can’t. I won’t…”

 _“You have no choice!”_ Jean’s voice transformed to a hiss pulling him out of the reality he’d been surrounded with in order to take him back to the past. 

“Please no!” Scott could hear himself screaming when his life flashed before his eyes. He could see himself in the orphanage taunted and tormented by the madman who had taken an interest in him before he’d run away. He could remember the terror that had shaken him up inside when Victor had abducted him. The experiments, the bloodied chair, the taunts surrounded him filling him with terror and fear when the voices of the past surrounded him.

 _“You’re mine now!”_ Victor’s taunted carried over him causing him to shudder and shake with fear, “ _You’ll never be free!”_

 _"Remember this and know that it's going to get much worse the longer you are here. This is just the beginning for you boy…”_ another voice surrounded him when Scott felt the distinct blow of the hammer to his kneecap. He groaned, gritting his teeth when pain shot up through his body returning to him as if he was experiencing it over and over again in the moment.

 _“Teach him a lesson!”_ another voice carried over him when he felt the wire around his neck, pulling tighter, squeezing and compressing, biting into his skin and cutting off his air intake. He could feel himself twisting and gasping overwhelmed by the memory as it consumed him.

_“Filthy mutie!”_

_“That’s right! Break him boys!”_

_“Help me!”_ another shrill voice screamed.

 _“Emma!”_ Scott could hear himself shouting, fighting to make his way to his friend through the darkness.

 _“No stop!”_ Emma’s cries grew louder, but there was nothing Scott could do, no way to help her except for offering himself up.

 _“Don’t do this!”_ he could hear himself pleading with the monsters that wanted him to kill, who had tortured the children around them, effectively stealing away their humanity for their own sick, twisted design.

 _“I always loved you Scott. I always wanted what was best for you!”_ Charles could be heard in the back of his mind before Jean’s voice hissed.

 _“Liar! He wants to control you—to destroy you, but I’ve given you another choice. I’ve offered you redemption,”_ she coaxed him to forget, to surround himself by rage and anger when flashes of the life he had stolen from him with Logan was taken from his mind. Everything from their first meeting to the moment that Hank had presented him with proof of Logan’s demise in the lab carried over him, taking him further from his fight for his sanity.

_“They never were going to allow you happiness in your life. They never would let you be with Logan. This was what they wanted all along. This is what Erik and Charles wanted for you—to be a prisoner held captive to their will—to bear the burden of their secret as their horrible mistake they’d wanted to eradicate.”_

“No,” Scott felt tears threatening to overtake him, drawing him in deeper to confusion when he was surrounded by images of Charles abandoning him. He could see Charles handing him over to the man who had promised to find a good home for Scott. Suddenly the parents Scott had known and loved flash before his eyes, reminding him for the plane crash, of the way that he’d fought to save the boy he’d believed to be his brother. There was so much blood and pain and then there was Sinister…yes, that was his name. He’d been horrible, awful in so many ways that Scott couldn’t recall until he’d felt the final wall Xavier put into his mind tearing to pieces stripped away and ripping at his core again and again. To all of the madmen Scott had been a subject of great interest. They’d all wanted him because of what he represented—of what he’d meant to the future of their kind in his evolution.

 _“He’ll be capable of great things,”_ he could hear a dark voice whisper. There was a hand stroking his cheek, touching his face in a cold, clammy brush, _“How could he not be given his history? Imagine what a mutant with his powers could be capable of especially under the right circumstances. He’s a weapon—stronger than any other we could manufacture.”_

 _“He’s just a boy,”_ another voice commented.

 _“One day this boy will change the world around him. He’s here for a reason and as long as we have him, then we have the power. We become unstoppable,”_ the words tapered off when Scott found himself surrounded by a hot, white, blinding light. Raising his hand up to cover his eyes Scott suddenly felt a breeze in the air around him.

“Scott,” Jean called out to him, causing him to turn around to discover her standing by the lake again, dressed in a long, white flowing dress. Her arm was outstretched, fingers curling towards him and beckoning him to follow her siren song.

“Jean,” Scott mouthed realizing he was no longer in his uniform. His visor was gone and he was back in his hospital gown, lost inside a moment of confusion when his feet carried him over to where she was.

“Together we can end this,” she promised stretching her arm out until her fingers were brushing up against the side of his face, “We can put the demons to rest once and for all.”

“No,” Scott bit down on his lower lip when he found himself overtaken by sobs, “there has to be another way.”

“We’re all out of options,” Jean whispered soothingly. Her fingers eased up into his hair, smoothing it out when a wind whipped up around them, “We can’t fight fate any longer.”

“This isn’t fate,” Scott’s words fell weakly from his lips.

“It’s always been your destiny Scott,” Jean assured him with a crooked, sideways smirk, “It’s time for you to embrace it. It’s time to show them just who you are.”

“I’m afraid,” Scott’s voice trembled as he closed his eyes again lost inside of himself with her hand on his cheek.

“You’ll never be free until they’re gone. Every last one of them must suffer Scott,” she murmured along with the wind that surrounded them. It picked up around them causing him to tremble when her other hand settled in on his shoulder, “They must know.”

“I just want it to be like it was before,” Scott choked up on his emotions, “I want to go back to that point where…”

“There is no turning back! Logan is gone! Christopher is gone and now they must pay!” she snarled digging her fingers deeper into Scott’s shoulder blade, “You have to show them that we won’t be victims again. You have to protect them Scott—to prove that their suffering hasn’t gone unnoticed—that their lives haven’t lost meaning because you weren’t strong enough to save them!”

“I tried,” he sobbed when he felt the memories of those who’d suffered consume him. He could see their blood, feel their torment inside of him, at war with his sanity, pushing and pulling at his insides when every emotion, every fearful thought ate away at him, drawing him deeper into their misery. They all reached for him, pulling him down into the hell they were condemned to in their brutal endings. Every torture they endured, every scream and tear wormed its way into his mind, causing him to buckle over in a series of sobs. He clenched his head tighter, struggling to keep a part of himself away from their pain, but it was all consuming breaking him apart before Jean touched his face. In an instant she commanded his attention, pulling him off of the ground and away from the madness with the warmth her fingers provided against his cheek.

“Let me in Scott! It’s the only way to save them. It’s the only way they’ll ever know,” she cajoled him further when the flames surrounded them, licking over his body with heat and power, invading his thoughts with watching those monsters he’d been unable to take down burn to the ground. He could feel retribution within his reach, could sense his sweet surrender when lightening flashed overhead, pulling him up off of the ground and into the night, rising up higher in the sky. His arm moved forward, causing power to coil through his body, building and expanding until the moment when he thrust out all of his anger and rage ready to unleash hell upon the world around him.

With the forward movement Scott felt himself empowered, guided on by a mission that went beyond his own existence when he found himself surrounded by a facility much like the one he’d been held captive in. He could hear the madmen inside, could feel their hearts beating, their minds so full of destruction when he turned his attention to the building before him once again. Suddenly feeling lightheaded and ready for release, he brought his hand up to the visor that he’d somehow carried with him. In an instant he fought to remember how he’d found it, to think of where he was, but instead he felt his eyes roll back into his head calling him to the power that built up inside of him.

 _“There’s no escaping the Phoenix. It’s a futile fight Scott,”_ the voice inside of him reminded him once again when Scott’s eyes snapped open, blackening with rage behind his visor before he unleased his madness upon the world around him bound and determined to see it burn down to the ground in this moment of rebirth and new beginnings.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story Emma Frost is based on my interpretation of the Emma in X-Men Origins, not Emma Frost in the comics. I know a lot of things are different in this story than in the comics, so please keep that in mind as you keep reading.


	43. Chapter 43

The halls of the compound shook around Logan when he found himself surrounded by loud, vibrating booms. Suddenly the foundation around him seemed to crack, causing bricks to crumble around him, creating a path of debris before the next pulsating boom rocked the hallway. Looking to the left Logan could see a group of soldiers approaching him. Their guns were out, ready to slice into him with their bullets, but he kept pushing forward knowing that their guns were of no use to them against his claws. Slashing into the air Logan could hear them cry out, could see the screams that fell from their lips, but he didn’t have time for them. He needed to find Victor, to seek out the man who had been bound and determined to take Scott from him time and time again.

Snarling Logan turned to the last man standing. The man’s eyes widened before the man ran off in the opposite direction shouting in a high-pitched fearful wail. Standing up taller Logan couldn’t help, but smirk before he redirected his attention to the doorway in front of him.

“Good choice bub,” Logan mouthed to himself when he pushed his way through the door out into the night to discover the world in chaos all around him. To his right a car was overturned. The door had been ripped away from the frame with its windows shattered in ways that he’d seen before back in Ohio at the strip club. The building adjacent to the one he’d just exited was up in flames, surrounded by an explosive shattering of concrete and glass. It immediately caused Logan to duck when he looked up to discover the last thing he’d anticipated in his quest to take down Victor.

“Scott!” Logan gasped watching the man he loved moving through the sky, moving along as gracefully as he’d ever seen him. His face was devoid of any sign of human emotion, caught up in what he was doing as he carried with him a skill that quite possibly couldn’t be his own. His hands were thrust forward, fingers trembling when his mouth opened in a primal scream. The sound caused Logan to shudder in feeling Scott’s agony. There was something happening through the surface causing Scott’s flesh to bubble when Logan found himself remembering Jean in the height of her madness.

_“Kill me…”_ he could hear her voice pleading with him in that fateful moment when Logan had given in to her request. He could remember driving his claws into her flesh and watching her life force lead her when Logan blinked again. He raised his chin up watching Scott in torment before taking in an uneasy breath.

In an instant Logan watched Scott head thrust upward driven by a force beyond his own. His screams grew louder, deafeningly painful for Logan to witness when Scott’s blasts cut through the night shooting straight forward into the tower beside the building Logan had been in. Effortlessly it began to crumble when a thundercloud crashed overhead. Horrified Logan noticed the sadistic smirk that carried over Scott’s lips when he repeated the motion sending an electrical wire down in the process. It sparked and sizzled against the pavement while the heavy rain that the day had brought upon them surrounded the both of them.

“Scott!” Logan shouted Scott’s name again, rushing forward to take in his lover suddenly clad in an uncharacteristically tight red and black leather suit. His visor was modified, somehow revealing less of his face when Scott tipped his head to the side as if he’d finally noticed Logan for the first time. In an instant lightning came crashing down on the pavement a few feet in front of Logan as Scott descended from the heavens with arms outstretched beside him. He raised his head up letting out a snarl and a hiss before he redirected his attention to Logan on the pavement.

“You!” Scott sneered, his words coming out foreign to the man Logan had loved and married. His fingers were suddenly gnarled at his sides, balled up into fists when his black leather boots hit the pavement. In his landing Scott took a step forward causing the ground to shake under his feet with each movement he made. His teeth were gritted, jaw set in anger when he spoke up again in a tight, menacing tone, “Where is he? What have you done to him?”

“Scott, it’s me,” Logan stepped forward preparing to reach out to his lover when Scott waved his hand in the air effectively sending Logan across the pavement. A moment later he was met by the force of Scott’s blast directly into his abdomen. It caused him to slam back into the iron door he’d just slipped out of, crashing harder than he’d anticipated when Scott moved across the pavement, creating waves of wind and vibration around him when his face was twisted in a tight, menacing scowl.

“I won’t let you get the best of me ever again!” Scott vowed sounding less and less like the man he’d fallen in love with, “If I have to burn this place down to the ground to eradicate the madness you’ve brought upon us, then so be it. I won’t let you stop me from taking back what’s mine! You won’t get in my way ever again!”

“Scott, I don’t know what’s happening to you, but you have to fight this,” Logan pleaded placing himself between Scott and the others inside knowing that in his madness Scott shouldn’t be anywhere near Christopher in his current state of mind. Remembering Emma’s promise to find Christopher and bring him to safety, Logan hoped he would be able to provide Emma enough time to seek out Christopher before Scott’s moment of madness carried over into something darker than what either one of them anticipated. Standing up taller, Logan puffed out his chest and watched Scott’s slow, calculated movements, “I can’t let you do something you’re going to live to regret. I know you don’t want any of this Scott!”

“You have no idea what I want,” Scott snarled back at him, “You don’t have the first clue about what I need.”

“Yes, I do,” Logan explained drawing in a breath when Logan found himself facing a situation similar to what he’d endured when Jean was overtaken by the same rage that spilled over Scott’s features. Remembering Jean’s destruction when she’d allowed Phoenix to consume her, Logan was suddenly surrounded by the same fear in hoping that the man he loved hadn’t fallen victim to a similar fate forced upon him by Victor and Mystique’s prompting, “I know better than anyone what it is you need. Look at me Scott! Let me help you!”

"Get out of my way you son of a bitch!" Scott's rough voice snarled in warning, his face twisted with uncharacteristic rage. The lightning overhead stole the softness from Scott's features, replacing it with a harsh, aggressive warp into madness. Scott approached Logan, his lips curving in a downward scowl, his voice cracked with anger, "Move!"

"No," Logan refused to budge, knowing in his heart that what was expected of him was the one thing he feared he wouldn't be able to do. Logan had never been uncertain, never questioning action, but with the love of his life standing before him lost inside of himself, Logan knew there would be no other way to change things. He couldn't walk away, yet he wasn't sure he could follow through on his promise to do right by the world around him. Selfishly he wished for a miracle, for something that would take him back to where they'd began with one another-to those few precious moments when Logan's responses would decide everything. If he could only return to that place when they'd both been less bitter, less jaded by the world around them, then perhaps things would change. However, wishing and hoping were no longer an option leading to resolution. Standing up taller, Logan stretched his arms out, allowing his adamantium claws to slide out of his hands in a defensive stance not backing down in the moment when everything inside of him bristled with awareness. Things had been pushed past the limit, gone too far well beyond the point of no return.

"You don't have a choice!" Scott's voice cracked with the overhead lightning. The shadows of the night were surrounding his face, cloaking it in madness when Scott lunged forward seizing Logan roughly by his collar of his shirt. "You can stop me from getting to him! Get out of my way!"

"No!" Logan snapped again, doing his best to stay in control of his instincts, but with Scott's hands squeezing at his neck, the animal revealed itself, pushing Scott back across the wet pavement in a futile attempt to end things without blood and destruction. Scott skidded across the ground, his hands scraping along the grooves beneath him, but almost as soon as the cuts revealed themselves, they disappeared returning to the smooth skin Logan had found himself appreciating more often than not. A heavy gasp fell from Scott's parted lips, surprise registering through his body, but soon it was replaced with a venomous rage, his face twisting with anger behind the visor he wore. Logan could see the beginnings of the red glow behind the visor, radiating from the edges when Scott let out a loud wail of anger.

Rising up off the ground, Scott waved his hand in the air wildly, causing Logan's body to fly across the pavement, slamming into the door that Logan had been standing in front of. The rain continued to pour down upon them, severing any sign of life beyond the both of them, the dark cloud of madness keeping them from where they once were with one another. Behind the visor Scott's eyes were darkening, the red burning brighter, deeper then Logan had imagined. His skin began to bubble with rage, darkening with madness when he took a thunderous step forward.

"The only way you're going to stop me is to kill me. You can't keep me away from him," Scott screeched, his voice foreign and devoid of any of the human emotion that had previously guided his conscience. Now standing before Scott, seeing him wild with animosity, Logan found himself surrounded by the beast, by the monster himself and it was only a matter of time before Scott's madness brought about their destruction. The prophesy was about to be fulfilled unless…

"Not going to happen. You have to fight this Scott. There has to be another way," Logan insisted plainly, his fears mounting with each passing second. He felt his claws still out beyond his flesh threatening to end things with the same brute force he'd been used to dealing with danger in the past. Only unlike before the threat began with Scott, with the man Logan would risk anything and everything to protect. His loyalty had him divided, his heart begging for something more, for another way to stop this. Killing Scott would undoubtedly be the end of him, yet with the future on the line, Scott was leaving him out of options. Now keeping his eyes focused on Scott through the bitter winds that surrounded them, Logan realized Scott wasn't about to give Logan the luxury of letting go without a fight.

"This will only end in death," Scott mouthed sharply, his hand rising up to touch the side of his visor in warning when Logan raised his claws in the air ready for battle, "mine or yours. There's no turning back. There isn't any other way."

In a whirlwind of chaos, Logan felt the world around him transforming to chaos and madness when his quest to take down Victor had lead him face to face with the one man he’d loved and longed for. Only unlike before Scott had finally lost himself to his newfound power, buried inside of the sudden chaos that had caused the two men to stand across from one another, at odds with one another after their violent confrontation had transformed into something dark and dangerous. Now as Logan fought to keep himself from falling into animal instinct, he felt his heart hammering in his chest when he’d feared that Mystique and Victor had succeeded in finally breaking Scott in taking him to the point of no return.

"There isn't any other way," Scott repeated in issuing Logan another warning when the moment carried over the both of them. It served to remind Logan of Jean’s death for the sake of sparing the others. It had been a decision that haunted Logan, but now with Scott before him out of his mind, Logan couldn’t help, but find himself praying for a different outcome.

“It doesn’t have to be like this,” Logan shouted making a bold step towards the man he loved, “You can fight this Scott!”

“I’m not going to let you manipulate me,” Scott shook his head violently when thunder crashed above them, “You’ve done it for far too long and now it’s time to pay for what you’ve done Victor! I won’t let you take him from me ever again!”

“Victor,” Logan repeated as realization suddenly dawned in on him. In a moment of sheer insanity he found the first inkling of clarity in what was happening to Scott. Suddenly Scott’s erratic behavior and jumbled mind was starting to make sense, the path becoming clearer when Logan retracted his claws and stood up taller, “Scott, it’s me. It’s Logan.”

“No,” Scott seemed to hesitate behind his visor. While Logan wasn’t sure what it was, he’d felt confident in his words when he moved forward bound and determined to refrain from violence in destroying the man he loved.

“Scott, look at me. Really look at me,” Logan attempted to appeal to Scott. When that didn’t seem to help the situation, Logan reached out to him, boldly touching Scott’s shoulder only to feel Scott’s skin burning beneath the touch. Something had changed, had taken him from his confusion to madness when he sneered at Logan again.

“Liar!” the word fell from Scott’s lips in a hiss when Scott sent Logan across the pavement without so much as a movement. There was a gripping sensation over Logan’s neck squeezing and twisting as Scott closed in upon him, raising his hand to his visor once again.

“You won’t break me ever again,” Scott vowed preparing to attack Logan when a sound overhead ripped through the clouds. In an instant a bolt of lightning came crashing down over Scott striking him with a hot, white flash. It crackled over his body, hitting him with a sharp force, yet the impact seemed to do anything, but faze him when he tipped his head up to discover the X-Jet above him.

“It looks like the party’s just getting started,” Scott smirked sadistically when he rose up from the ground making his way towards the X-Jet without a second thought. His focus had shifted taking him further away from his confrontation with Logan when it was clear he’d found a new target to focus on.

“Scott no!” Logan roared leaping up to tug on Scott’s leg in a desperate attempt to keep him grounded. The movement seemed to catch Scott off guard when he began to descend towards the pavement again. Twisting in Logan’s arms, he sent his fist into Logan’s jaw, which only further prompted Logan to hold him tighter than before, “I’m not letting you go this time Slim.”

“Stop it!” Scott screamed causing Logan to feel Scott tremble in his arms. In an instant there was a deep, crimson color surrounding Logan when he’d felt Scott blast into the side of his face, effectively tearing half of it off in his attempt to break away from Logan’s grip on him. However, Logan had been prepared for it, even with the pain it brought upon him. Instinctively he brought his claws out, sending them around Scott’s body, up over his spine and into Scott’s shoulders to hold on tighter, to keep the two of them together when they rolled across the pavement, skidding along the wet surface until finally Logan found himself at an advantage over a now bleeding Scott.

“I won’t let you get away with this!” Scott snarled, his face twisted with rage when the warmth inside of his body caused Logan’s claws to heat up, to be filled with pain and impulse when Logan could feel something else happening inside of his lover. In an instant he found himself surrounded by fire, lost in anger and madness as flames engulfed the two of them tearing away at Logan’s flesh. He felt his skin burning away from his body, revealing bone and muscle when he and Scott rolled around on the ground with one another. Still holding on with his adamantium claws Logan refused to let go with his husband fighting against him.

“Scott, listen to me,” Logan spat out twisting to keep Scott immobilized beneath him, “please…”

“Scott is gone,” the dark voice escaped from Scott’s full, lush lips when Logan winced in agony, “He left the building a while ago. He’s given himself to Phoenix.”

“No!” Logan shouted remembering the last time he’d fought the Phoenix inside of Jean. Closing what was left of his eyelids, he could remember Jean’s torment, could see the way she’d been begging for him to save her when he’d been forced to make a horrible decision with her fate. His mind kept replaying the moment of anguish he’d felt when he’d driven his claws up into her body, stealing the life from her in an instant he’d known he could never take back.

_“There’s only one way to end this,”_ he could hear Mystique’s voice in the back of his mind taunting him, _“To save everyone around you, you’ll have to tear Charles and Erik to pieces. You’ll lose yourself to your pain and…”_

“Not this time,” Logan roared feeling Scott twist and writhe against him. Knowing what had to be done the last time he’d encountered the Phoenix Logan knew he would be expected to find only be one way to end it, only one way to ensure everyone’s safety as he had in the past, but as he heard Storm and the others in the distance approaching him, he knew that he had to change things. He had to find another way.

“It’s time to end this,” Scott’s words fell from his lips as Logan dug his claws deeper into Scott’s shoulders bringing them through the front of Scott’s body and using his weight to roll over on top of Scott on the ground again. In an instant Logan thrust forward impaling himself on his claws when his lips came crashing down upon Scott’s in a searing, fiery kiss. At first Scott was resistant fighting him with every twist and turn. He grunted and groaned, shaking beneath Logan in an attempt to separate them, but Logan simply held on tighter, fighting against Scott’s every moment of madness. With each firm grip and desperate nibble Logan forced upon Scott’s plump, lower lip, Logan could feel the warmth of their blood and the Phoenix burning inside the both of them. It was an all-consuming heat that threatened to tear everything away from them.

Caught up in a whirlwind of madness Logan could hear voices in his head—could feel thoughts that weren’t his own invading his subconscious and pulling him into the dark world that surrounded Scott. In an instant Logan found himself immersed in thoughts and memories that weren’t his own. He could see Scott before him as a boy, looking so very much like Christopher when there was a man leading him into an orphanage. In an instant Logan felt Scott’s pain, watched as Scott was tormented, tortured in ways that Scott hadn’t dare speak of in their time together. He could see Scott back at Stryker’s compound taunted and forced into darkness caught up in anguish and suffering before a white light surrounded them. It was then that Logan felt the chill of snow all around him. He could see himself in a bar seated beside Scott, offering up reprieve from the storm that had Scott had fallen into during his youth. Everything about their life together flashed before him, leading Logan to that moment when Charles and Erik had arrived to save Scott while readily discarding Logan and placing him at Stryker’s mercy. Another scream carried over the night leaving Logan to wonder if it had fallen from his lips or Scott’s when Logan’s body trembled with the memory of Stryker’s torture. Pain carried over him leaving Logan to wonder if it had been Scott’s or his own, but before Logan could question it he felt them suddenly up off of the ground, taken beyond the place where they’d fought one another.

Everything around them was a culmination of rage, desire, anger and emotion as their lips collided, drawing forth a sudden heat that had nothing to do with Scott’s madness and everything to do with the passion between them. Almost immediately Scott’s lips parted inviting Logan inside of him when their mouths crashed together, desperate and yearning in knowing that their future was riding on the moment between them. The winds kicked up around them, lightning crashing just beyond where they were when finally Scott pulled away from Logan’s lips breathless.

“Logan,” Scott questioned with confusion evident in his tone as they stopped moving.

“It’s me Scott,” Logan promised moving in to kiss Scott again when he felt Scott twist and wince against him suddenly aware of Logan’s claws in his shoulders, “Hold on to me Scott!”

“What’s happening?” Scott questioned gulping down in fear as they began to spin around one again.

“It’s Mystique and Victor,” Logan explained quickly, “I don’t know how they did it, but they’re controlling the Phoenix inside of you. They’ve been manipulating you and…”

“Phoenix,” Scott repeated sounding distant as something from below caused them to come crashing down to the ground again.

“No!” Logan shouted feeling the force drawing them down onto the pavement harder than he’d anticipated when Logan heard the sounds of the others approaching. With Logan’s weight over Scott crushing Scott beneath him, Scott’s head crashed into the cement temporarily stunning him in the moment with Logan over him.

“Shut him down Charles!” Hank’s voice roared through the chaos, “We need to stop him before he does anything to hurt anyone else around him!”

“No,” Logan replied realizing his words were lost on the others when he looked to Scott again. Releasing his claws Logan watched as Scott’s wounds began to heal through the rips in his uniform. Instinctively Logan touched the side of Scott’s face when he felt his own tears threaten to overtake him, “Scott, stay with me. Scott!”

“He’s out of control,” Ororo’s voice rang through the air, “Step away from him Logan.”

“No!” Logan snarled rising up to his feet and unsheathing his claws. He turned around to face the others seeing Ororo, Hank, Kurt, Peter, Marie, Bobby, Charles and Erik before him all looking horrified by the destruction that Scott had created in his moments of madness. Standing up taller, Logan snarled at the others in warning, “This isn’t his fault! He’s not responsible for this!”

“Logan, he needs to be controlled. Please let me help him. Let me soothe his pain,” Charles offered up as Erik gave him a look of disbelief.

“He’s been on a leash for far too long already,” Erik made a move in closer to Scott and Logan, “It’s time for him to embrace what he truly is.”

“Don’t even think about it bub,” Logan redirected his rage at Magneto, “If any of you even think about coming near him, then so help me I’ll kill each and every one of you!”

“We don’t want to hurt him Logan,” Charles attempted to appeal to Logan, “We just want to help him! Please Logan let us do what we came here to do in…”

“If you even think about invading his brain again, then so help me Logan won’t be the only one you have to contend with,” Emma’s voice rose up from behind where Logan stood. She held Christopher in her arms as she made a bold step towards the others, “He isn’t responsible for this. Victor and Mystique are manipulating him—they’re controlling Jean and…”

“Jean,” Logan repeated giving Emma a sideways glance, “What do you mean Jean?”

“She’s inside. They have her hooked up to a machine and...,” Emma’s words came to abrupt ending when another explosion ripped through the sky. Looking up Logan noticed there were three sentinels approaching.

“Damn it!” Logan cursed under his breath, “Emma, you have to get Christopher out of here!”

“Grandfather?” Christopher questioned running away from Emma to throw himself into Charles’s arms, “What’s happening?”

“We’re going to get you out of here,” Charles promised as he exchanged glances with Erik, “Everything is going to be alright.”

“But those people who took us before…” Christopher’s small voice trembled through the night surrounding them.

“They won’t hurt you again,” Erik stepped forward to touch the top of the boy’s small head, “You’re safe now.”

“Erik, get him out of here,” Charles suggested as he looked to the approaching sentinels, “Take the jet and…”

“No!” Logan replied sharply as Scott lay motionless on the pavement, “Not him!”

“Fine,” Charles turned his attention to Hank and Storm, “take him with you. Get the others out of here. It’s too dangerous and…”

“We came here as a team and I’ll be damned if I’m leaving any of you behind,” Hank piped in as he turned to face the impending threat upon them.

“He’s right,” Storm added putting herself into position, “We’re a family and we’re going home as a family.”

“He’s not staying in all of this,” Logan decided when he saw that Christopher was looking at him, “Christopher, come over here.”

The boy hesitated, saying nothing before finally shaking loose of the hold Charles had upon him. Tentatively he moved in closer to Logan with curiosity building behind his eyes.

“I know that you were the one that saved me before at the house,” Logan spoke up smoothly, “I know that you helped us get away before the others took us. Can you do that now?”

“I…I don’t know,” Christopher hesitated when his eyes turned to Scott on the ground, “Is he hurt?”

“No,” Logan glanced down at a still unconscious Scott, “He’s just resting.”

“Is he…?” Christopher moved forward beyond Logan to look at his father lying on the ground, “…dead?”

“No,” Logan replied watching as Christopher moved in beside Scott. Saying nothing his tiny fingers reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face, causing color to return to his features when Scott let out a small gasp. He twisted on the ground, head arching backwards as his chest began to rise and fall. The movement caused Christopher to step back, momentarily surprised by his father’s response when Scott reached out towards the small boy.

“Christopher?” Scott questioned weakly when Charles approached them.

“It’s alright,” Charles added when another explosion ripped through the sky, “He’s your father.”

“Son,” Scott’s face shifted, changing from the deep despair that had been thrust upon him when he pushed himself up off of the ground to reach out for the boy in his arms, “you’re here.”

“Yeah,” Christopher nodded finally embracing Scott with tiny arms. Almost immediately Logan felt Scott’s eyes upon him from behind the visor. His one-time cool resolve was a thing of the past when a single tear of joy slipped past his cheek as he embraced the moment with his son.

“Elf,” Logan blurted out looking to Kurt, “you take Marie with you and get Christopher to safety. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going. Just get the hell out of here. Once everything is safe, you find us.”

“But Logan…” Marie couldn’t help, but frown.

“Of course,” Kurt nodded moving in closer to Scott and Christopher without hesitation.

“It’s for the best,” Logan replied giving Marie another brief glance, “As they said before we’re a family and we aren’t leaving anyone behind.”

“I can take the boy to safety, then come back for…” Kurt attempted to explain when Logan shook his head in refusal.

“Stay with Christopher,” Logan ordered before turning to the others once again, “Are you prepared for this?”

“We’ll do our best,” Storm nodded as Bobby approached them as well.

“Just tell me what we have to do,” Bobby added.

“Everything is going to be alright,” Scott promised Christopher with one last embrace, “I promise you that.”

“I know,” Christopher smiled back at Scott before turning to look at Kurt expectantly.

“He’ll be safe with us,” Marie promised when she greeted the small boy before her. Taking his hand she scooped him up into her arms. For a moment she and Bobby exchanged glances before she held onto Kurt and the three of them teleported out of the situation.

“Scott,” Logan breathed focusing on his husband once again. He could see Scott was shaken, could feel something had changed in him as he touched Scott’s shoulder, “are you still with me?”

Scott nodded, “I don’t know for how long, but right now I’m here and…”

“Scott, if you let me suppress what’s been happening inside of you, then we may be able to buy ourselves a little time to...,” Charles attempted to intervene.

“We haven’t the time for that Charles,” Erik added when one of the sentinels was a mere few hundred yards away. Rising up in the air, Erik set off on a mission bound and determined to take the sentinel down as Storm exchanged glances with Bobby.

“Let’s do this!” she announced giving Logan one last look before she and Bobby took off in an attempt to help Erik with the sentinels. Peter soon followed leaving Charles, Hank, Scott, Emma and Logan on the pavement with one another.

“We have to find Jeanie,” Logan decided fearing for what may lay ahead of him with Scott’s former flame still alive and inside of the compound.

“I know,” Scott sighed heavily, “If they’ve been torturing her…”

“You might not be able to reach her Scott. She’s been encapsulated for so very long,” Emma explained reaching out to touch Scott’s shoulder. In an instant it seemed that she and Scott shared a series of thoughts before Scott finally nodded.

“Thank you Emma,” Scott gulped down harder than he had before, “I’ll go bring her back.”

“Not alone you won’t,” Logan announced before turning to Charles, “We’ll take you with us. Maybe you can do whatever you did before with Jeanie just until we can figure everything out.”

“It won’t make a difference,” Mystique’s voice carried over the thunder when Logan looked up to discover her perched upon a pile of the wreckage Scott had created, “By the time you get to her it’ll be too late. It’s already too late for each one of you.”

“On the contrary Raven,” Charles spun around to face her fully, “We’ve only just begun.”

“I was hoping you’d join the party Charles,” she licked her lips, tossing out a sadistic smirk before blowing a kiss out at him. She pointed to the helmet on her head indicating that she’d been prepared for him when her lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl, “I was hoping you’d finally come back for a reunion. Although the party is rather incomplete without Erik.”

“Not quite,” Erik’s voice caught her off guard when she spun around to see him standing behind her on the perch. However, she moved swiftly, rolling off of the rubble and into one of the holes in the ground beneath her.

“Erik, we can’t let her get away,” Charles replied rushing towards Mystique in an attempt to follow her.

“She won’t,” Erik promised when another sentinel appeared from behind the roaring thunder clouds.

“We’re on it,” Hank announced turning his attention to Emma and raising a curious brow, “How do you feel about helping a guy out here?”

“It wouldn’t be right for you to take that on without a woman’s touch,” Emma added shifting into her diamond form. She paused momentarily before looking to Scott again, “Be safe Scott.”

“You too Emma,” Scott nodded watching her leave before pulling himself up off of the ground ready to bring an end to the madness that surrounded them. However, as he stood up, Logan noticed Scott’s legs were shaky. Reaching out to curl his arm around Scott’s waist, Logan couldn’t help, but question.

“Are you alright Slim?” Logan inquired squeezing his arms tighter around Scott’s trembling frame.

“For now,” Scott answered stiffly, “but I don’t know how much longer I can hold back on it Logan. I can still feel it inside of me begging for control.”

“I should’ve had Kurt take you out of here,” Logan frowned condemning himself for his actions, “You should be as far away as possible from this considering that…”

“I’m the only person who knows what Jean’s going through,” Scott turned around to face Logan fully, “If I can help her find peace, then perhaps whatever is inside of me will finally be put to rest.”

“And if it isn’t?” Logan questioned worriedly when he realized that the color had been drained from Scott’s features.

“Then I trust you’ll do what’s necessary to make sure I don’t hurt anyone again,” Scott reached out to touch the hole in Logan’s uniform made by their confrontation.

“If you’re asking me to end this like I tried to do with Jeanie, it ain’t happening Slim,” Logan replied stubbornly, “There’s no chance in hell that I’m losing you again. Not after it took us this long to be together.”

“Logan, I…” Scott opened his mouth to say something more when Logan leaned in to kiss him again.

“I remember everything Slim,” Logan whispered, his words vibrating against Scott’s mouth, “I know how we found one another all those years ago. I know that you’re mine—that you’ve always been mine.”

“You do?” Scott questioned with surprise evident in his tone.

“I do,” Logan nodded, “and it’s reminded me that some things in life are worth fighting for. Phoenix or not, you and I aren’t ever going to be separated again. You have my word on that.”

“I’m going to hold you to it,” Scott decided sliding in to kiss Logan again before a smile carried over his features. Reaching out to touch the side of Logan’s face, he couldn’t help, but give in to the moment between them, “I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet not when I have you and Christopher in my life. You’re both worth fighting for.”

“Remember that,” Logan touched Scott’s hollowed out cheekbone as he felt a momentary concern over Jean’s potential return to their lives. Somehow in the grand scheme of things the idea scared Logan, but in knowing what else they’d faced, Logan vowed to have faith in what they had together in knowing that it had remained an unstoppable force through the years with them always finding their way back home to each other time and time again.

“I will,” Scott promised before turning towards the entryway before them, “Let’s put an end to this Logan once and for all.”


	44. Chapter 44

“We’re almost there,” Scott shouted above the noises that surrounded him and Logan when they made their way through the building together. The sounds of the explosions continued outside of the building they were in causing Scott to wonder what kind of chaos his friends were getting into. A part of him wanted to go back outside and help the others, but he knew he’d set off on a very different mission of his own in finding Jean.

“They’ll be alright,” Logan spoke up in an attempt to soothe Scott’s concerns for the others, “They know how to handle themselves.”

“I know,” Scott nodded turning to face the hallway in front of him once again.

“I have to ask Scott,” Logan began when Scott moved through the corridor once again, “What’s with the costume?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Scott replied looking down to the suit he was wearing, “The last thing I remember was being at the school with Hank and Ororo. They were talking with me about you. They said you were gone and then Charles and I…”

“What?” Logan questioned.

“We fought,” Scott hesitated when he heard another sound in the distance. His eyes found their way to a staircase to the left when his pulse quickened. He didn’t have to have direction to know that was where he was headed—down to a place where all of the answers he’d been searching for were well within his grasp, “After that I went to use Cerebro and…”

“You used Cerebro?” Logan repeated with surprise evident in his voice.

“I wanted to find you,” Scott answered when the two of them fell to silence once again. Moving forward Scott fought to stay focused on what was ahead—on what he would have to do in finally seeing Jean again. There was a part of him that was desperate to save her—to help her and bring her back again, but that other part of him was terrified lost inside of himself in knowing all the destruction that he’d been capable of since his last encounter with her. Unable to keep his thoughts buried Scott found himself met with an overwhelming sense of fear. It built inside of him, growing in ways that he hadn’t anticipated when he suddenly realized that the fear he was experiencing was no longer his alone.

_“This isn’t going to end well,”_ he could hear Logan’s thoughts through the silence between them, _“I don’t like any of this Slim. We shouldn’t be down here.”_

“We don’t have a choice,” Scott blurted out looking over his shoulder to see the concern in Logan’s features—could almost hear his thoughts ringing loudly through his silence in the narrow corridor leading to Jean’s cell. With each step they took Scott could feel a pounding in his head, but more so, he could sense Logan’s fears compounding when Scott took in a breath and sent a message out to him.

_“I love you Logan. I’ve always loved you,”_ Scott’s thoughts pressed into Logan’s subconscious when Logan glanced over at him, _“You’re it for me.”_

_“You’re it for me too Slim,”_ Logan’s thoughts reflected back upon them when they stood outside of the room Emma had shown Scott that Jean was being held captive in.

“Going somewhere?” a voice questioned catching both of them off guard when Scott looked up to discover Victor standing outside of the door where Jean was being held. With a shake of his head and a tease of his tongue over his canine tooth, Victor stood up taller and folded his arms in front of his chest, “Neither one of you are getting inside of there.”

“Move!” Logan ordered stepping up in front of Scott to place himself between Scott and Victor.

“Let me take care of this Logan,” Scott decided working to channel the energy inside of him when he felt Logan’s hand upon his wrist.

“No,” Logan shook his head in refusal, “We don’t know what’s happening with you and we don’t want this to backfire. I can handle him.”

“I’ve got this,” Scott curled his lip in protest when he focused on the man before him.

“Find Jeanie,” Logan shook him gently causing Scott to pull back on the powers he’d been preparing to use on Victor, “I can take care of this one.”

“Fine,” Scott huffed waving his arm around in the air and sending Victor across the hallway crashing into the adjacent wall. Stepping forward Scott twisted his fingers and caused the door before him to crumble to pieces, “He’s all yours.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Logan snarled releasing his claws when Scott disappeared into the room bound and determined to end things. Once he was safely inside Logan redirected his attention to Victor, “It looks like you and I have an overdue meeting with one another.”

“Then we should probably get right on it,” Victor decided rushing towards Logan in a fit of rage and anger ready to tear him apart limb for limb.

“I told you that you’d signed your death warrant the moment you locked me up,” Logan stood up taller, bringing his arms up in a defensive stance, “If you really thought that you could overpower me, then you’re sadly mistaken.”

“Aww, now Jimmy, don’t tell me that you’re angry for me because I tried to help you with your intervention,” Victor snarled back at him, “That boy is poison for you. He always has been.”

“No,” Logan shook his head and frowned, “He’s the best of me. He always has been.”

“He’s been nothing, but a weakness where you are concerned. Time and time again you fell into his trap—thinking that somehow you could be like them—that you could live a normal life,” Victor chortled in response, “Honestly what could you possibly have to offer ole one eye?”

“Love,” Logan countered with a snarl, “something that you know nothing about.”

“Spoken like a man who has been chained down by the world around him,” Victor approached Logan in a slow, circling motion, “You’ve been domesticated Jimmy. You’ve turned into the very thing that we’ve worked so hard to destroy through the years. You’re better than that. We could be gods together.”

“On the contrary, I’m going to send you straight to hell!” Logan announced springing forward to slash at Victor. In an instant the two of them collided with one another in a fusion of blood and fury meant to tear the other to pieces.

“If I can’t have you Jimmy, then he never will,” Victor snarled offering up a low roar before he slashed his fingers over Logan’s chest. The movement caused Logan to recoil in a momentary hint of pain before he pushed Victor off of him and into the adjacent wall.

“You’re going to do better than that if you think you can take me down,” Logan replied charging at Victor again only to have Victor roll out of the way. He pounced on Logan’s back, tearing and scratching at his spine when Logan winced. He could feel fingers gnarling and tearing into his muscle when Victor’s fury carried over him.

“I’ll drain the life from you, but I won’t kill you Jimmy,” Victor promised him. He leaned forward taking in Logan’s scent when a sadistic smirk carried over his features, “Instead I’ll make you watch as I tear your plaything apart. Then and only then will you understand your place. You’re mine Jimmy. You’ve always been mine.”

“No!” Logan roared pushing Victor off of him. He spun around on his heel sending his claws forward to slam them into Victor’s abdomen. The movement caused blood to come spurting out of his mouth, surrounded by the sadistic laughter Victor offered up in an agonized breath.

“You can’t destroy me Jimmy. We’re blood,” Victor’s words taunted him, “We’re brothers.”

“No,” Logan shook his head and roared. He pulled his claws back before slamming them into Victor again up underneath his ribcage prepared to end it all in the moment between them.

“I’m afraid things aren’t going to work out as you’d hoped for,” another voice caught Logan off guard when he felt a sharp, stabbing sensation carry over him. A moment later he found himself gasping for breath when his claws involuntarily retracted and he was on his knees again. His body began to shudder and shake caught up in a moment of internal agony when he twisted his head to the side seeing Mystique beside him.

“You’re far too important to us for you to go spoiling things now,” she explained reaching out to touch the top of his head. He struggled to fight against her, but something was weighing him down, keeping him from moving when Victor smirked sadistically.

“Your little plaything is going to wish I’d killed him right away when we’re finished with him,” Victor promised kneeling down to stroke the side of Logan’s face, “You’ll wish for it as well Jimmy before I make you mine again.”

“You won’t…” Logan spoke up behind gritted teeth struggling to move himself up off of the ground when whatever Mystique had injected him with raced through his body, rendering him immobile.

“Soon you won’t protest. You’ll join us readily,” she touched his face on the opposite side of Victor, smirking and laughing when a loud, booming sound carried over them. A moment later he broke into a series of shudders and shakes, trembling on the floor in the beginnings of a seizure.

“I don’t think so Raven,” Charles spoke up causing Mystique to gasp when Erik stepped forward bringing down one of the metal ceiling beams. It crashed and collided over an unsuspecting Victor effectively pinning him to the ground.

“You’ve been a naughty girl Mystique,” Erik’s voice added when metallic pipes began to bend and twist, crawling off of the walls as if they’d carried a life of their own with the movement of Erik’s wrist. They danced through the air making their way over to Mystique and wrapping her up in their tight embrace.

“Stop it!” she shrieked when the pipes bound her tighter than before, guiding her up to the top of the wall pinned down at Erik’s will, “Erik!”

“Did you really think that this would end any other way for you my dear after your betrayal?” he questioned flicking his wrist again and sending the helmet she’d been wearing away from her. It slid across the floor landing at Logan’s feet when Logan gasped for breath, “Did you really expect for us to forgive any of this?”

“Erik wait,” Charles moved forward watching as one of the pipes began to coil and twist around Raven’s neck squeezing tightly and causing her to cough. She gasped for air, twisting and writhing against her metallic restraints when Erik moved forward.

“There’s no more room for error Charles. We tried it your way time and time again, but after what she’s done—what she’s caused for us we are all out of options,” Erik’s lips pinched together tightly. His blue eyes narrowed up at her when his scowl intensified, “Going after Scott was a mistake. You should’ve left well enough alone.”

“You used me Erik,” she shouted behind labored breaths, “You left me for dead when you felt I had no use to you any longer. After all the years I’d given to you…”

“This is how you repay me?” Erik balked back with darkness in his voice, “I’m afraid I’m unable to forgive or forget once you targeted Scott. Knowing what he represents…”

“…is all the more reason why he should be erased,” she answered as tears fell down her face, “I loved you Erik. I gave you the best of me, but it was always about Charles—always about what the two of you shared.”

“No Raven,” Charles began moving in beside Erik, “that’s not true. You were always a part of our lives. You were always special to the both of us. Always important because…”

“Because you needed someone to control,” she shot back at him icily, “You needed someone to push around when you felt your own world falling to pieces around you. The both of you did that. You were both responsible for…”

“…your ending,” Erik finished preparing to tighten the twisting pipe around her neck when Logan found himself regaining movement in his limbs again. He shifted on the floor, breath coming out uneven and labored when he noticed Victor sliding up from underneath the ceiling beam. His nails were extended when he charged towards Charles ready to slash away at the man who’d been trying to infuse rationality into the situation.

“No!” Logan roared finding the strength to pull himself up off of the ground and slam into Victor. His body collided with Victor’s pulling him away from Charles before Logan felt concrete beside him causing a sharp, stabbing pain to coil from within when it dawned in on him that a loose drain pipe had gone through his abdomen. Wincing Logan fought to free himself, to slide off of the pipe when Victor stepped forward bringing his claws to Logan’s neck in a menacing snarl.

“I can see now it’s too late to bring you back from this,” Victor roared raising his hand up in an attempt to tear at Logan’s neck when the world around them suddenly stopped leaving everyone around Logan motionless. His eyes shifted around the room to see Erik focused on Raven, his fingers tight and twisted in the air while Victor hovered over him attempting to inflict a mortal wound upon Logan.

“We can stop this,” Charles explained pulling Logan from the moment when Logan’s gaze shifted across the room to see the man Scott had grown up with before him. Charles took a step forward as his blue eyes reflected the sadness he’d felt in the moment, “All of this is my fault Logan. I’m sorry that I allowed things to get so out of hand.”

“This wasn’t your doing,” Logan spoke up behind gritted teeth. He looked down to the pipe he’d been impaled upon in seeing the blood carry over him. Saying nothing he placed his hands out on the concrete behind him doing his best to slide off of the offending metal when a groan carried over him.

“I never should’ve left you behind all those years ago,” Charles replied moving in beside Logan, “That was an err in my judgment based on fear and ignorance. I pushed my own feelings upon Scott and…”

“I don’t think now is the time,” Logan glanced over to Erik and Raven when he attempted to stand upright. He felt pain shoot through his body when he noticed the hole in his abdomen. Bracing himself up against the wall Logan spoke up in between labored breaths, “He’s going to kill her.”

“No, he’s not,” Charles shook his head and sighed, “He’ll understand why I’ve done what I’ve done today—much as you will. I misjudged you Logan and I hope that one day you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me for what I’ve done to impede upon the happiness you and Scott have with one another.”

“Are you saying that…?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise.

“There’s no one in the world I’d rather him find happiness with. You’ve protected him—loved him unconditionally and helped him with what was best for him at a time when I was unable to do it myself,” Charles offered his hand to Logan. Logan readily accepted it as he pulled himself upright, “There’s going to be a lot of things we’ll all have to sort through, but I don’t want this tension between all of us. I was wrong and for that I’m sorry.”

“Look Chuck,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown.

“I realize saying that isn’t enough, but this…” Charles motioned to the situation around them, “This needs to be taken care of. I’ll deal with Erik, Raven and Victor. You just make sure that Scott is safe—that he comes home in one piece.”

“What about Jean?” Logan inquired when he felt his body working to heal itself once again when the after effects of the drug he’d been injected with started to wear off.

_“Trust your instincts and Scott’s,”_ Charles explained reaching into Logan’s head, _“They won’t lead you astray. After all they haven’t so far when it comes to Scott.”_

xxxxxxx

Moving through the darkness Scott could hear the sounds of machines beeping in the distance indicating that Jean was inside of the cold, musty room locked away from the rest of the world. Closing his eyes Scott took in a breath as he found himself thinking about all he’d been through over the past few months. Everything he’d experienced from that time at Alkali Lake up until this moment in time flashed before his eyes proving to him that his madness wasn’t all inside of his head. Taking a step forward he felt chills carry over his skin, pushing deep into his core when he raised his head up to discover the liquid filled tank before him. It was filled with an aqua colored liquid and tubes that were attached to a very pale looking Jean as she remained suspended before him. All the life and color had been drained from her features when it was clear that the monitors were keeping her in a suspended state, holding her back from reaching the world around her in her torment.

“Oh Jean,” Scott mouthed feeling his heart sink when he saw the woman he’d once loved so very much lost inside of herself in the hell that Victor and Mystique had set up for her. Stretching his fingers out, he touched the cold glass thinking about everything that had transpired between them.

_“I’m sorry Scott,”_ he could hear Jean’s voice reach into him, pulling him from the darkness inside of him when he found himself back at Alkali Lake watching her emerge from the water. In an instant he could feel her approaching him, could remember the way it had felt with her lips upon him when he’d felt himself being torn to pieces from the inside out.

Thinking about the pain he’d experienced, Scott reached for the tube connected to the machine ripping it out of the glass when he felt Jean cry out inside of his mind. Her eyes remained closed, her body motionless as Scott stepped back to take in his surroundings. The machines were beeping loudly, going in erratic patterns when Scott raised his hand up, pulling together the power inside of him to shatter the glass. Almost immediately the pieces flew in the air around him, breezing past him out of harm’s way when he stepped forward to collect Jean in his arms. She was cold—colder than he’d imagined her being when he knelt down on the ground, bringing her into his lap.

“What have they done to you?” Scott questioned touching the side of her face when his heart sank. He could see the marks up and down her arms from the tubes that had been inside her. One by one they’d been eating away at her, stealing the life that he felt from within. Effortlessly he’d worked to remove the tubes, to pull them from her skin as he stroked the side of her face once again, “How could I have not known?”

She remained silent lost in the hell she’d been placed into as Scott’s fingers moved up into her damp, auburn hair. His heart sank in imagining all that she’d endured at the hands of those around her. It seemed so unfair in remembering all Charles had told him Jean had gone through to save their son, yet with her laying unresponsive in his arms Scott felt his heart sink.

“I found him Jean,” Scott whispered, choked up on his emotions when he felt a lump building in the back of his throat, “Christopher is safe. He’s in good hands now.”

Jean remained motionless as Scott found himself on the verge of tears. Smoothing his fingers through her hair, he hugged her closer to him.

“You did good with him Jean,” Scott whispered bringing her up against his chest. He kissed the top of her head finding himself choked up on his emotions when he thought of the sacrifices she’d made to bring their son into the world, “He’s everything I’d always imagined our child would be like. He’s perfect and I owe that all to you. You saved him.”

Closing his eyes Scott hugged her tightly feeling her grow colder in his arms.

“No,” Scott whispered squeezing her tighter, “you can’t leave Jean. Not now. Not when we have our son back again. He needs you.”

He paused searching her features as if she could hear him, as if she could respond to his words, but she simply remained lost inside of herself unaware of the world around her.

“Jean, I can’t do this on my own. I’m not as strong as you are,” Scott attempted to appeal to her once again, “Christopher needs you. I need you. Please…don’t leave me again. I can’t lose you.”

“Scott,” Logan’s voice broke through the moment when Scott looked up to discover his husband standing before him with blood covering the front of his shirt. He took a tentative step forward with worry creasing his brow, “is she…?”

“We can’t lose her Logan,” Scott mouthed decidedly, “I can’t do that to Christopher. Not when we’re so close to taking her back home…not when…”

“Scott,” Logan touched Scott’s shoulder gently, “I know how difficult this must be for you, but…”

“That day at the lake,” Scott’s voice was distanced as he closed his eyes again, “I thought she was so angry with me—maybe a part of her was, but there was a part of her that…”

“That what?” Logan inquired when Scott fell to silence.

“That gave me all of this,” Scott raised his chin up to meet Logan’s eyes again, “When she kissed me she transferred her powers into me somehow—all of this energy that she’d carried with her made itself at home inside of me, taking me from next to nothing to this and now…”

Scott’s words tapered off when he glanced down at Jean again, “…if I can’t save her Logan.”

“You tried Scott,” Logan squeezed at his shoulder.

“It’s not good enough,” Scott added firmly, “not for our son. He deserves his mother.”

“I know he does,” Logan hesitated thinking about what Scott had said to him. A few seconds of silence passed between them before Logan spoke up again, “I know you want to help her find peace Scott.”

“This isn’t how it should be,” Scott fought to suppress the sob that built up in the back of his throat, “This isn’t what I wanted…”

“I know it isn’t,” Logan hung his head down somberly.

“Where’s Victor?” Scott questioned attempting to pull himself together again.

“In a place where he won’t be bothering us anytime soon,” Logan explained a hint of amusement carrying over him, “Chuck gave him a one way trip to a place he’s most certainly not going to be escaping from anytime soon. This time I think he’s going to be there for a while.”

“Charles is out there?” Scott questioned tipping his head to the side and looking where the doorway once was.

Logan nodded, “He and Erik finished were sorting out their issues with Mystique before they found me with Victor. Turns out Chuck, Magneto and Mystique have a bit of catching up to do with one another. As for Victor and Mystique, well, their plan wasn’t as foolproof as they’d been hoping for.”

“They used her to hurt me,” Scott focused on Jean once again, “and in doing so, they wound up destroying her Logan.”

“Scott,” Logan paused drawing in a breath as Scott squeezed Jean in his arms again, “I’ll give you a moment alone with her.”

“No,” Scott brought one hand up over Logan’s on his shoulder, “stay. Please…”

“Scott, I…” Logan stammered in feeling suddenly out of place with Scott and Jean together.

“She wants you to stay,” Scott explained drawing in a breath, “She said as much when…”

“When what?” Logan questioned giving Scott a sideways look. He felt Scott release his hand instead bringing his fingers across Jean’s chilled skin.

“She’s in my head Logan,” Scott confessed feeling a moment of enthusiasm carry over him, “She’s still in there trapped inside what they’ve done to her—just like I was for those three months when Phoenix was trying to consume me. She’s locked away inside and…”

“You can still feel her?” Logan replied seeing Scott nod.

“She says it’s not too late. We can still help her Logan,” Scott answered quickly, “She’s so close, yet…”

“What?” Logan questioned when Scott raised his head up to search Logan’s features.

“She gave me her powers in a kiss,” Scott replied nervously, “When I felt as if she was stripping me of mine, she was able to transfer everything she had onto me. That part of her that was so strong…”

“It was Phoenix,” Logan reminded him with a frown.

“And Jean,” Scott explained looking around the room once again, “I have Jean inside of me Logan. Her power has been here for so long, expanding inside of me, eating away at what I am because I can’t control it. I’m not strong enough to deal with it like she could. It’s all consuming and…”

“Scott,” Logan spoke his name again when Scott focused on Jean once again.

“What is eating me alive could be what she needs to save her. In a kiss…” Scott’s words tapered off again.

“Are you saying you’re going to kiss her?” Logan scowled at the thought.

“I’m going to give her back what was always meant to be hers,” Scott paused raising his chin up again to meet Logan’s eyes behind the visor, “that is if you’ll…”

“What? Allow it?” Logan practically scoffed at the notion, yet with Jean in Scott’s arms looking as if she’d finally reached her ending, Logan grudgingly nodded, “Do what you need to in order to come back to me, but make sure that you’re back with me when it’s over Slim.”

“I’m always with you,” Scott promised guiding Logan closer to him with an invisible force. Before Logan knew it he was on his knees perched behind Scott. The movement coaxed him to wrap his arms around Scott’s waist when Scott raised his chin up. His lips eased in closer to Logan’s, mouth eager and inviting as Logan bridged the distance between them, “Hold onto me for luck.”

“You don’t need luck Slim,” Logan brought his left hand up over the side of Scott’s face, “not when we have love between us.”

“I’ll always love you Logan,” Scott whispered arching upward to kiss Logan in a slow, lingering taste of the passion they carried between them. It was enough to take Logan’s breath away as he pressed his forehead in against Scott’s. Stroking his thumb over the hollow of Scott’s cheekbone, he reluctantly arched back and resigned himself to keeping Scott draped in his arms.

“Let’s fix Jeanie so we can go home,” Logan coaxed Scott on further.

“Alright,” Scott agreed bending down to touch the side of Jean’s face. He could feel her inside of his head, speaking to him about her fears, about how sorry she was for the things she’d put him through, but in that moment Scott found him focused on putting her mind at ease, on helping her find herself. Silently he tipped down pressing his lips to hers in a faint hint of a kiss. For a moment he’d felt nothing, simply lost in the idea that his plan hadn’t been working, but a few seconds after he’d initiated the kiss, he felt the fire inside of him again. The raw heat surrounded him, engulfing him in the flames when Jean’s lips parted inviting him further into the kiss.

“No,” Scott could hear a voice inside of his head crying out, urging him to pull away, but the pull was too strong. He felt it building in the pit of his stomach, sweeping around in his mind when a voice inside of him took him to the dark places he’d forgotten in his time away from the school. In a flash he could see himself by the lake broken and bound by the weight of the fire inside of him. It caused his skin to bubble—his mind to be filled with things he was certain he hadn’t been meant to understand. For those moments he’d carried the capability of life and death itself in a hot, unyielding moment of rebirth. He could hear Logan’s heart beating—could feel Jean’s breath upon him—his mind racing to places beyond the compound. He could smell roses in the distance from the gardens at the school surrounded by the chirping of blue jays. He could feel the warmth of the sun upon him. He could remember Logan’s kisses in the aftermath of the hell he’d surrounded himself with. There was love and loss, pain and suffering, passion and bliss and in an instant when the thought of Logan filled his thoughts Scott found himself at peace—at ease in his situation when everything and nothing collided taking him to the ultimate darkness when the Phoenix offered him one, last, final release.

xxxxxxx

Fluorescent light filtered into the room causing Scott to squint his eyes to keep their invading rays away when an ache carried over his body. He groaned tipping his head to the side in realizing that he was back at the school, in the medical ward laid out over the center of a hospital bed with Logan hunched over in a chair at his side. A smile carried over his features when he discovered that Logan’s fingers were interlaced with his, holding onto Scott in his slumber with Christopher at his side. The small boy was seemingly at ease curled up beside Scott when he found himself struggling to remember how he’d wound up in such a position.

“Scott?” Logan murmured bringing his head up to discover Scott’s eyes had opened, “Hey…”

“Hey yourself,” Scott mouthed nodding to the boy beside him, “How did this happen?”

“He wanted to see you,” Logan whispered careful not to awaken Christopher in his slumber, “Charles wasn’t able to keep dodging him when he kept asking about you.”

“So you brought him down here,” Scott smiled finding himself looking to the rings on their still interlaced fingers.

“Christopher said the two of you were talking to one another in his dreams and he wanted to be here when you woke up,” Logan replied bringing Scott’s fingers up to his lips in a tender press.

“We were,” Scott confessed thinking about the wonderful dreams he’d carried with him about Christopher. In the latest one they were out back in the gardens playing baseball with one another and Logan caught up in a friendly game with a few of the other students while Jean and Storm sat on the sidelines drinking lemonade and catching up with one another, “He said that everything was going to be alright.”

“He’s a wise boy,” Logan paused searching Scott’s eyes nervously, “so are we…?”

“Are we what?” Scott couldn’t help, but yawn despite his certainty that he’d been asleep for a while.

“Are we alright? More importantly—are you—are you alright?” Logan inquired when Scott could’ve sworn he’d seen exhaustion carry over his husband’s features.

“I have a headache and I haven’t blown a hold in the ceiling so I’m guessing it’s safe to say that I can still control my powers as of this moment. I don’t know if that will last or not, but I fully intend on enjoying every second of it now that I’m here with you. As for us…well, I think we’re more than alright,” Scott glanced down to their interlaced hands again, “What happened?”

“You outdid yourself,” Logan informed him with a small sigh, “You scared the hell out of me when you were trying to save Jeanie. One minute you were fine and then the next you collapsed in my arms.”

“I remember,” Scott bit down on his bottom lip, “sort of anyway.”

“Yeah, well you wouldn’t wake up,” Logan frowned, “Charles came in and we brought you both back here. You’ve been asleep for almost a week and Jean…”

“…is she…is she alright?” Scott questioned nervously.

Logan nodded, “Charles has been with her around the clock. He’s been trying to help her deal with the things she’s endured.”

“But she’s…she’s alright,” Scott prompted further.

“I think she will be especially now that you’re awake,” Logan added, “She was worried about you Slim. She was afraid that she was responsible for this again and…”

“She told you that?” Scott questioned feeling Christopher shift at his side.

“She told me a lot of things Slim and I listened for a change,” Logan hesitated before sliding his chair in closer to the bed, “She and I had a heart to heart.”

“And?” Scott watched Logan’s brow crease with apprehension.

“It’ll take time for her to adjust to the changes around here, but she understands,” Logan paused clearing his throat, “about us I mean. She knows that we’re together now and…”

“That isn’t changing Logan,” Scott squeezed Logan’s fingers once again, “She knew from the start that you and I had something special between us. Once she realized it, she knew that there was no breaking the bond. Not even Charles could take that from us considering that…”

“…what we have is undeniable,” Logan finished with a smile, “So much so that I know it’ll work itself out with Jeanie.”

“Was she…?” Scott paused biting down on his lower lip, “Upset?”

Logan nodded, “As I said she and I had a long talk with one another. We cleared the air about a lot of things that happened between the three of us.”

“And she…?” Scott’s words tapered off when he thought about Jean’s possible reaction to him and Logan together.

“You two need to talk still,” Logan offered up shifting on his chair, “and when you do, well, I won’t be…”

“Jealous?” Scott fought to repress the smirk that carried over the corners of his lips.

“Yeah,” Logan used his free hand to rub the back of his neck, “that.”

“Of course you’ll be jealous,” Scott blurted out with a shake of his head, “but you won’t have any reason to be.”

“I know that,” Logan nodded, “and for what it’s worth Chuck and I had a talk as well. He told me about…”

“Him and Erik?” Scott finished watching Logan nod.

“Among other things, yeah, but I’m sure I was projecting that in my head right about now,” Logan added quietly.

“Actually,” Scott hesitated, “I wouldn’t know.”

“You mean you can’t…?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise.

“Not right now,” Scott added, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to…”

“Considering that you and Chuck are…” Logan stopped himself, “well, never say never Slim.”

“I don’t need to read your thoughts to know how much you mean to me Logan,” Scott brought his free hand up in order to curl his fingers over at Logan, “Come here.”

“Right here?” Logan questioned rising up on his feet to twist over the side of the bed and steal a kiss from Scott’s lips.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Scott murmured pulling himself up just enough to meet Logan halfway in a kiss. Their lips collided in a chaste, teasing brush before Logan pulled back.

“Hey,” Scott frowned at Logan’s retreat.

“Trust me,” Logan touched the side of Scott’s face, “when Hank gives you the all clear you’ll get something even better, but for now…”

“I think I’m pretty happy with what I have beside me,” Scott motioned to Christopher asleep beside him. Raising his chin up Scott smiled at Logan once again, “I feel like the luckiest man alive to have the both of you beside me right now.”

“I’m afraid that title is mine because as I see it I became the luckiest man the moment you decided to marry me Summers,” Logan moved around to the opposite side of the bed. Without another word Logan slid onto the blanket beside Scott, wrapping his arm around Scott’s slender frame while the two of them watched Christopher lost in peaceful dreams of baseball games and other childhood joys. Touching his son’s soft, dark hair, Scott smiled knowing that whatever the future had in store for him everything was going to be as it should be with Logan at his side now that they finally had the chance that had evaded them time and time again on their road to happily ever after.

THE END

 


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